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ruporas · 1 year

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lonely

[ID: A limited palette of green and pink, Vashwood comic. The first page serves as a prologue. The first panel shows Vash speaking to someone off screen while Wolfwood is lingering behind him. A black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the second panel, Vash is buying donuts in the distance while Wolfwood is once again in view, lingering. and the black arrow is drawn pointing at him. In the third panel, Vash is leaving a cubicle and turning towards his right with a slightly peeved expression. He sees Wolfwood, leaning against the cubicle, waiting for him, and with the black arrow drawn, pointing at him, implicating the consistent hovering of Wolfwood’s presence during Vash’s everyday. At the bottom of the page, they’re drawn out of panel with Vash turning to Wolfwood and saying with an irritated expression, “You’re really following me everywhere, huh?” Wolfwood responds, “What, you got a problem?” Vash responds without hesitation, “Yeah, kinda...”

The second page starts with a new day. In the first panel, Vash is seen alone, weighing apples in his hands at a mart, with crowds passing behind him. In the second panel, he turns to his right and starts to say, “Hey, Wolfwood...” In the third panel, he’s startled from seeing a stranger, whom he’d accidentally called out to when he was expecting to see Wolfwood. He says, “Oh, you’re not him. Sorry!” In the fourth panel, the stranger walks off and Vash muses, “Right, he said he had something to do today...”

The third page begins with a close up of Vash's miffed expression, the continuation of Vash's thoughts, "Now that he's not here, this is just like how I used to be, but... It feels lonely somehow. Oh well, I'll see him again tonight, like always." In the second panel, it shows Vash walking through the marketplace crowd, alone. In the third panel, the door panel is a close up of the door opening with a peek of Vash's head. He says, "Wolfwood!" In the fourth panel, Vash is holding a bag of food with a bright smile and says, "Are you hungry? I got you something to eat today!"

The fourth page begins with a shot of the room, two beds being highlighted, one of them being made properly with the blanket draped over the bed and the other with the blanket folded and pillow sitting on top of it. There's no sign of Wolfwood. The second panel shows Vash with a disappointed look as he thinks, "He's still not here?" The third panel shows Vash putting the bag of food on the table. Stapled to the paper bag is the receipt with a written note "For Wolfwood." Vash's thoughts continue "He does like to stay out so, I guess there's no reason to worry..." The fourth panel shows Vash sitting his bed somberly with his thoughts continued, "It's not any of my business anyway..."

The fifth page starts with a close up his blank expression as he looks downwards, thinking, "Even if he left completely... That'd be understandable and better for him. I'll just travel alone again... like before... Huh?" The next panel shows Vash's composure break, tears welling up in his eyes suddenly, as he didn't expect to cry. He starts to sob, putting his hands to his face to quiet himself and wipe at his tears, as he says, "Ugh... Dammit... I miss h..." The last panel shows Vash leaning over into his hands, still crying, and in the back, the door swings wide open with a bam as Wolfwood walks through with the punisher swung behind him. He shouts, "SPIKEY! You in here?!"

The sixth page starts with Wolfwood confused, looking at Vash and Vash looks back, just as confused, with tears in his eyes and snot out of his nose. Wolfwood starts saying, "Ah? You..." No longer in panels, at the bottom of the page, Wolfwood takes the Punisher off of himself and starts to walk towards Vash, continuing with slight concern, "What's wrong with you? Did something happen?" Vash, hurriedly begins to wipe at his tears, denying immediately, "No! No, I'm fine! Nothing happened!"

The seventh page, Vash points towards the table, with a hand still wiping at his tears and he smiles as he says, "I uh got you food. On the table." Wolfwood looks towards to the table and responds, "Oh. I was getting hungry, thanks." He turns his head back to Vash immediately after with an uncertain expression, knowing the other wasn't responding to his concern, and says, "But, I know you're an idiot with this stuff, so I'm reminding you again. Don't brush it off if it's an issue, alright?"

The eight page, Vash's tears have dried and he looks to Wolfwood with a soft smile and responds, "Yeah. It's okay though..." A panel at the center shows a side view of Vash approaching Wolfwood. At the bottom of the page, with no panel, is a close up shot of Vash's hand, holding onto the edge of Wolfwood's jacket sleeve, as he says, "Because you're here now. Wolfwood."

The final page is a back shot of both of them standing next to each other, Wolfwood's head tilted slightly to the left, not fully believing Vash as he says, "That doesn't answer anything, Spikey." Vash responds, "There's no need to talk about it! You should enjoy your food. Let's have a drink too?" Wolfwood responds, "Tsk, tsk. Fine, yeah. I could use one." END ID]

#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun #trigun maximum #but onto this comic... i think and talk a LOT about vash's loneliness bc trigun is just. kind of central on that for a good while! esp in #the original manga he was alone for a good portion of it and he tends to keep others away like how he ran away from meryl and milly when #they tried to tag along. and he was kind of bothered when he realized ww was following him around Too. at the core even though he loves #humans and he loves deeply the people he does know -- he isnt really much of a people person and i think thats been the case since he was #young considering his initial doubts towards humans... with the exception of kids bc kids dont give him moral conflicts. so suddenly #here comes wolfwood!!! his guide. someone TRULY affixed to him until he has to get to knives. someone who isnt budging and someone whos #really good at following him around and even seems like he goes like 5 steps ahead to make sure vash doesnt run on him #in one way its - i don't want you to follow me bc i don't want to burden you and i don't want you to kill the people i want to save.#in another way its - i like this companionship. i like waking up to you and i like ending the way with you. i like talking to someone who #knows my world. i like being in your space and sometimes i enjoy talking about our day #theyre just living together. like. roadtrip buddies or theyre also under the same roof because they're going everywhere together.#trimax they mainly spend their mornings together and if they had personal business attend the other person would usually know and itd only #be during the midday. anyway bc of this kind of companionship i figure that vash eventually grew accustom to it and he really. cant go back #to the kind of loneliness from before. it's harder to imagine and it'd be harder to withstand. esp after 2 years with lina and her grandma.#ruporas art

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alluratron · 8 months

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Thoughts on Gojo Satoru

Gojo Satoru is a character with nuance.

With the release of JJK chapter 236, many people are shocked, confused and outraged at his characterisation at the end of his run in the manga. There are claims of character assassination, of blatant disregard for everything he has done so far, of telling instead of showing. The portrayal of Gojo as someone whose primary motivation was strength has left multitudes of fans reeling.

Nanami states that Gojo’s reason for wielding jujutsu was not his own survival, nor the protection of others, but rather in pursuit of wanton satisfaction. Gojo does not deny this and neither can we. After all, in chapter 233 it was stated by the narrator that as the possibility of defeat crossed Gojo’s mind, an intense feeling of satisfaction bubbled up in him as well. The truth is, Gojo loves jujutsu. He loves his own strength. He loves to use it, to show it off, to flex. He revels in his own power.

Gojo enjoys being The Strongest.

However, he doesn’t enjoy being The Strongest, alone.

The contradiction in Gojo is that, much like Sukuna, he sees himself as More Than. They are beyond humans, beyond curses, beyond anything of this world. They exist in a realm of their own. Make no mistake, Gojo harbours great affection for those around him. He says as much in 236 (みんな大好きさ寂しくはなかった - I really liked everyone and I wasn’t lonely). But he also admits that there was a separation between himself and other other living creatures. This phrasing is crucial. Gojo is effectively admitting here that from his perspective, other humans are as different from him as any other creature of this world. He doesn’t even really consider them to be the same species. This is further reinforced through his analogy of flowers. He states that you can admire a flower and make it bloom, but you don’t wish to be understood by it. Gojo cares for those around him and he cultivated his students to help them blossom, to achieve their potential, but they were flowers to him. They were inferior beings, incapable of understanding his superior existence, and so why should he open himself up to them? Shoko mentally chastises him for this in chapter 220, pointing out that she was right there alongside him even with the loss of Geto, that all his talk of being alone was idiotic because she was there and he could’ve relied on her. But he didn’t because in his mind, Shoko, like everyone else, is inferior and incapable of understanding him. To him, it is pointless to try.

But where Gojo differs significantly from Sukuna, is that Gojo desperately wants to be understood.

Gojo is so painfully human in that way. Perhaps he wouldn’t be, had he never known Geto. But he did know him, and for those 3 years, Gojo knew companionship. He felt understood by Geto because Geto, being equally The Strongest, was capable of understanding Gojo, in Gojo’s own mind. When Geto defected, he called Gojo arrogant in his own strength for saying killing all non-sorcerers would be impossible for Geto and attempting the impossible was pointless, when such a task would not be impossible for Gojo himself. He asks of Gojo, “are you the strongest because you’re Gojo Satoru, or are you Gojo Satoru because you’re the strongest?”. This exchange, unfortunately causes Gojo to misunderstand Geto’s reason for defecting, or at least to oversimplify it. Gojo’s takeaway is that the issue was in Geto’s inability to keep pace with him. This would further solidify his belief that he exists apart from all of humanity. Yet he could not make peace with that. He mourned Geto’s departure and disliked his newfound loneliness (which, mind you, was only the case because of that very belief that only an equal in strength can understand him).

This would drive Gojo to seek out Megumi, something he could have done at any point in the year since Toji’s death but had no motivation to do. The words he says to Megumi are crucial - “強くなってよ。僕に置いていかれないくらい” or “Get strong. Enough to not be left behind by me.” From this, two things are clear. First, that Gojo has no intention of slowing down. Second, that Gojo wants Megumi to be on his level. He’s essentially seeking out another Geto, one that he won’t lose to their own inability to keep up with him. He’s not willing to come down from his superhuman level to connect with the average - as previously said, Gojo revels in his own strength - but rather he wants others to ascend to his level. Gege stated in the fanbook that the reason Gojo went to find Megumi was because he’s seeking talented people, and the reason he helps problem children like Yuta and Yuji is because they’re strong so he doesn’t care about the other details. There is no mention of righteousness or kindness in his actions here. Now, the fanbook is secondary material so I will always err on the side of the main text taking precedence. But since the main text does not give us any explanation from Gojo as to his true reason for saving Yuta and Yuji, and Gege’s explanation in the fanbook on Gojo’s recruit of Megumi aligns with what we see in the manga, it’s likely that his interest in Yuta and Yuji is indeed purely due to their strength potential, at least at first. He does grow fond of them as people, and he wants them to enjoy their youth. But ultimately, his reason for raising them remains that, selfishly, he doesn’t want to be alone at the top.

His idea of “resetting the crappy jujutsu world” is making it so that life as a jujutsu sorcerer is as fun for everyone as it is for him, or at least as he imagines it would be if his youth hadn’t been interrupted by Geto’s spiral. Being a jujutsu sorcerer is Gojo’s job, but he doesn’t resent it at all. Because unlike all the other sorcerers who are here because they have no choice, or because they feel a sense of responsibility to protect the defenceless, or because they fear being killed by curses and using jujutsu as a retired sorcerer is illegal (looking at you, Kusakabe), Gojo is here because jujutsu is fun. He doesn’t feel that inherent drive to protect the defenceless (he actually finds that part of it kind of exhausting) and he doesn’t feel that fear because no curse could remotely threaten him, so he just gets to enjoy jujutsu for what it is. Gojo wants the same for his students. He wants them to enjoy the experience of life as a jujutsu sorcerer, without fear, and without suffering and being forced to question what the hell they’re even doing this for. If they can be as strong as him, there is nothing to worry about - nobody dies, nobody gets left alone, nobody falls behind. It’s an idyllic picture for Gojo.

There seems to be a misconception that 326 suggests that Gojo’s only reason for training the students was to eventually fight them at their best. That is not the case. Gojo’s love of fighting and Gojo’s desire for an equal are two separate things that only got amalgamated in Sukuna. After all, Gojo never sought to fight Geto. We know they scuffled sometimes, but it’s not like Gojo was constantly trying to instigate a death match. His desire for an equal is, on its own, simply a desire to be understood, something he does not believe is possible by a weaker being. He longs for companionship but won’t let himself find it in people he views as inferior. Regardless of having an equal, Gojo still loves his own strength. He loves toying with opponents, and showing off, and brutal violence. The more challenging the opponent/situation, the further he gets to stretch his limbs.

Fighting Sukuna presented Gojo with an opportunity to satisfy both of these things.

Does Gojo have anything against Sukuna or the way he lives his life? Not really. There isn’t an ideological opposition at play here like there is between Yuji and Sukuna, they just happen to be allied with parties who are in conflict. And, with them both being the jujutsu-loving, strength merchants that they are, they’re genuinely excited at the prospect of fighting each other. Gojo does want and plan to save Megumi, sure, but in any case that requires defeating Sukuna. He wasn’t bluffing when he said he’d worry about that later - fighting Sukuna genuinely takes priority, both strategically and selfishly.

In terms of the fight, Gojo has a blast. He gets to go all out like he’s never gone all out before. He’s pushed to invent things on the spot or legitimately just die. He doesn’t even have to toy with his opponent to keep the fight going, he’s sprinting from start to finish and is giddy with it. This is possibly the most fun he’s ever had.

In terms of the emotion, Gojo has been desperately trying to find someone as strong as him because (he believes) only they can understand him. It’s to the point that he has spent the past decade trying to basically build-a-bear some equals. Suddenly, he’s presented with one, fully formed, requiring no additional shaping on his part. It’s believable that he would be excited to take that chance of being understood, being seen wholly, by the only person alive in the world at this moment that he believes capable of wrapping their mind around him, since they’re both so far above every other living being.

And so Gojo fights Sukuna and pours everything he is into it. He pushes his body to its physical limits, he uses every jujutsu ability he’s ever learned, he comes up with new ideas on the spot, he throws out multiple max output attacks. Everything we have ever been told that Gojo is capable of doing gets put on show in this fight. He does all this because he wants Sukuna to see him in his entirety, because nobody else ever has. If he tried to unleash all of this on anybody else, it would kill them before he could even get a quarter of the way through.

See, on the one hand, Gojo’s self imposed isolation is born of his own arrogance but on the other hand, he’s also right in a way; because jujutsu is a part of the makeup of Gojo Satoru - its something he enjoys and it will always be a part of him. Yet he does not fight with allies because in doing so, he would be forced to limit himself. Like Yuta acknowledges in 235, if they were on the battlefield Gojo would have been unable to perform that AoE purple blast without harming them too. He must choose between being alone when doing jujutsu, or restricting himself in this thing that he loves. This feeds into the notion that they can’t understand him - he literally has to contain himself so as not to be too much for them.

He’s not too much for Sukuna, though.

Against Sukuna, Gojo gets to exist in his entirety, unrestrained, and for that he is appreciative. But we also see Gojo’s kindness, or rather empathy. He personally was satisfied by the fight - he was able to be seen wholly. He could simply have a “fuck you, got mine” mentality about it, but we see that he actually feels sorry to Sukuna for not being able to take everything Sukuna is the way Sukuna was for him. Sukuna could not afford to go all out if it meant dying to the other sorcerers as soon as the fight with Gojo ended. I believe this is why he looked less impressive throughout the whole fight - a Gojo giving it his all puts on more of a display than a Sukuna sticking to a pre-determined plan and doing minimal improvisation. But even though Sukuna didn’t let himself go all out, he still won. This would lead Gojo to believe (and it’s not an illogical conclusion) that if Sukuna had been going all out, Gojo wouldn’t be able to take it all. Gojo feels bad about it because he was unable to be for Sukuna what Sukuna was for him, he feels bad that Sukuna will seemingly never experience that same satisfaction (because, of course, if it’s not Gojo himself giving him that, he thinks nobody else can). This isn’t Gojo feeling bad about himself for being weaker, it is genuine empathy for Sukuna because Sukuna is someone that Gojo does actually perceive as the same species as him, not someone he necessarily considers evil or an enemy.

It’s not as bad as he thinks, though, because Sukuna did take immense enjoyment in this fight. It’s true that he wasn’t pushed to the point of having to give everything here, but he was still pushed further than ever before. Many people have confused “he wasn’t going all out” for “he wasn’t even trying” and that’s such a dichotomous way of looking at things - zero or one hundred. Sukuna was absolutely trying in this fight. For the first time in a thousand years, he actually felt the nervousness of possibly losing, because Gojo’s final purple could have killed him. It’s only because it was an AoE attack and not directly aimed at Sukuna that he survived, and visibly in the worst condition of his life. And after slicing Gojo, he praises him (“you were magnificent” is crazy levels of acknowledgment from Sukuna!) and admits that he will never forget him for as long as he lives. This is coming from the guy that called Gojo ordinary and unenlightened just 6 chapters prior. Gojo moved him, this much is undeniable. And Gojo’s smile in his final moment suggests that he heard Sukuna. In the end, he knows that he did reach him in some way.

(Brief side note: Gojo never says he would definitely have lost to Sukuna even without the ten shadows. What he actually says is simply that he’s unsure as to if he would’ve won. And that’s because he, unlike much of the fandom, recognises that Sukuna’s skill and genius understanding of CE and jujutsu mean that without the ten shadows, he would’ve approached the fight very differently, especially those domain clashes, during which it’s clearly stated that Sukuna refrained from using his CT or even domain amplification too much so that the ten shadows could continue adapting in the background. Take out that element and of course Sukuna has more resources freed up to put into fighting Gojo actively.)

So this is the nuance of Gojo’s character. He’s selfish, yet capable of true empathy. He cares deeply, despite his unfathomable arrogance. His motivations are questionable, without being malicious. He sees himself as beyond human, yet at his core is painfully so. He’s not a hero, nor even really a “good” person. But he influenced those around him in ways they will carry forever.

#gojo is a bitch and i like him so much #he’s so [squeezes him with my fist until the juices run out]#he is not normal! there is something deeply wrong with him!#(affectionate)#but he cares #not in the way ppl thought but he does #take him as he is or don’t #gojo satoru #sukuna #jjk 236 #jjk analysis #jjk meta #jjk #duo: the one who will teach you about love #satoru

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mishapen-dear · 10 months

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thinking about the elections tonight... bad, cellbit, baghera, and forever are four candidates who are devoted to the island- more specifically, to the residents of the island. They care for the eggs, and they care for each other, and the way they exhibit that care through their primary presidential strategies is fucking fascinating.

Bad is who I watch the most, so I know him best. He's a classic mother hen. He doesn't like to take risks with the eggs, and he likes to prepare. If there's any sort of variable that could hurt an egg then he wants to control it. They have a stable relationship with the federation right now- it's not great, but they know the parameters. Don't trust cucurucho. don't follow cucurucho. send the eggs to NINHO every time there's a threat. the time of day changing means you need to run. Other than that they're p okay and roughly safe. But adding a president could potentially change everything. What if the president makes a rule that makes it easier to kill the eggs? And what about the way a president could cause tensions between the players to rise even higher? The dynamics of the island could change drastically. It's safer to neutralize that threat before it ever becomes a threat. It's easier to stop a war before it can start.

Baghera's primary concern is the way the election is designed to pit the residents against each other. All of them know that the Federation is a threat and she, like Bad, is focused on not letting them hurt more people. But, unlike Bad, she's less resistant to change. If the power is spread to multiple players rather than just one, it will be harder for the Federation to corrupt any one of them. Each time before the Federation has gotten to someone it's done so by isolating them. Felps, Cellbit, Jaiden- they've all spent a lot of alone time with Cucurucho. A council isn't just to consolidate the ideals of the island; a council would protect the players themselves. Sure, there might be disagreements and arguments, but they've had those before (and they're having them now!) and there's no reason to think they wouldn't be able to get through them again.

I hit a bit of a wall with Forever and Cellbit's pov here. Everything I know about their plans are from the debates and paraphrased discussions that have been translated here on tumblr, I'm going to talk less about their explicit plan and more about what the result will entail- a single president who takes responsibility for the island. It seems to me like they've recognized the presidential seat as the powerful opportunity that it is, and they want to take advantage of it. Here's some extra personal speculation but, adding rules, adding or removing mods, proposing public works, enforcing laws- those are just the abilities that are listed. Those are incredible opportunities to make the Federation take action, which is more than they've had before. We've seen before that the Federation isn't perfect; the Federation makes mistakes.

By working with the Federation, by making them take action (in a semi-controlled, semi-predictable way) you open them up to more opportunities for them to fuck up (while benefiting you). And, maybe, one of those fuck ups will be the key to taking them down. Maybe they could reopen ender chests. Maybe they could open the nether. Maybe they could learn why the Federation is holding an election in the first place. It's possible to do all these things with Baghera's plan, sure, but that's not a guarantee and, if someone like Bad is on the council, there's absolutely no way to be sure it would get done. And, if there's a council, then that opens up everyone on the council to the Federation's wiles. If there's just one president, then that's where the Federation's focus will be. By using a single person to build a relationship with the Federation, they only risk that single person. By electing ministers instead of a council, they can ensure that the island residents' needs are being heard while placing the federation's focus on that one person. A point can be made that they've done that before- with varying results. like kidnapping. selling your soul. etc. But! overall, I think they've gained more than they've lost by singling out one person. Because of them, we know that Cucurucho can't be trusted. We know that the Federation has a series of tunnels underneath the island. We know that the Federation not only has some sort of cryo technology, but had some unknown reason to use it. We know that there was another person working with Cellbit to take care of Felps (theorized to be ElQuackity), so we know there's at least one more Fed that isn't Cucurucho + blank-faced workers. There's been risk, but there's absolutely been rewards. This is just a very long meandering way to say that their plan to sacrifice Forever to the presidential seat reminds me very much of Cellbit's plan to sacrifice himself to the federation. They're saving their friends by potentially damning themselves and I, for one, think that is cool as hell.

they all care about each other so much. bad's plan means taking on no more risk. baghera's plan means spreading that risk evenly to stand strong together. and cellbit and forever's plan means taking the risk onto themselves so they can reap the rewards for others. am i reading too much into things? no this is tumblr and this smp is about LOVE and i really genuinely think that their election plans are a fantastic example of just how much they love each other

#qsmp elections #qsmp #qsmp analysis #again i haven't been following cellbit and forever's exact plan too closely but i've gotten the sense that their pushing of public works is #just to get people to vote for them and the true reason they want forever to be president is to infiltrate the federation #if that's not it tho feel free to let me know i'd love to know these cubitos reasonings #but with my interpretation i like the silly little extra headcanon of mr cell “sold his soul to the cops” bit #subconsciously sacrificing forever to the feds and pushing him into corruption #which ALSO makes the forever-killing-cellbit-to-kick-him-out-of-the-running plan Even More Tasty #'what if i let you kill me. what if destroying me destroyed yourself. what if i have already destroyed you on purpose and you forgave me #now what if i dont mean it when i do it again'#if anyone wants to examine the other candidates (or these same ones) and figure out how their election strategy is an example of their love #please do #i don't know enoguh about the others #but i know that gegg is love-turned-grief burn-the-world-down #and foolish is love for Item. love for cloud. love for being a silly #i don't know etoiles' plan for if he gets elected but i know he also deeply loves the island and the residents #him and his security <3 and the care packages for new players <3 and the way he Craves Violence but absolutely refuses to hurt anyone who #doesn't deserve it. most guy of all time #personally i want foolish to win because i think it would be really fun #but i think that any of them (even the candidates i don't know) would be a Fantastic president #we're going to get some good roleplay any way it goes so ill be happy :3 #the only mechanic thing i want is for them to open the nether but that feels like a given for anyone so im not worried about it tbh #ty for coming to my tedtalk #hello if you're reading this tag. i see youre just as un-normal about these characters as i am. or you just like to read. respect either wa

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