Summance + Casual Touch

oh good lord , h i hope you know what youve gotten yourself into by asking for the fic … [insert evil laughter here] okay okay now actually , the fic series doesnt focus on serial killers it was just that one fic in the series , but the serial killer fic is Blind Mirror (linked) by StrangeDiamond on Ao3 !!!! i have the print copies of the series (behold my collection) i think i also have to mention that its not an xreader fic lol

songs of resistance isnt part of the series but yaknow whatever . the ragnvindr brothers are a passion of mine and theyre my favorites i love them so much SHIDJSKDKD AND WHILE WERE ON THE TOPIC OF FIC RECS if you just so happen to have my horrid taste in men (/hj ?????) and like alhaitham , heres another one of my absolute favorite fics , i just call it Summers Fic (i hope these links are working properly lmao) and its got our favorites !!! murder / crimes , slowburn , (kinda) enemies to lovers (i fucking love the banter the author writes between mc and haitham) , + forensics stuff !! which is totally my jam because im a stupid little science gremlin .

you saying my board looks cool is so funny to me because like its a literal stock image , and while i couldve gone without it , low quality stock images just make me giggle for no reason so .. its also a little surprising you think its detailed because when i was making it i felt like i had to condense so much information for textbox space😭😭

i actually do a handful of things in the arts department , ive written my own little short stories and poems , and every once in a blue moon (when i have enough motivation) i make games ! granted theyre not very good , because im pretty sure im jackshit at characterization LOL heres a silly authors note i put in one of my short story docs just cuz why not honestly

also , YES I AM A DAIN LOVER IM ACTUALLY HIS BOYFRIEND (REAL) /j . all the khaenriah boys in general are my little sillies (i say as if they arent older than me) SO IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT DAIN WITH MY MESSAGES ARE OPEN (and i am more than willing to spout theorist nonsense about him and the other khaenriahn boys as well)

also you absolutely do not have to worry about your wording of anything , none of it came off negatively at all ! i think youre very nice lmao

heres a little question to end off because im running out of creative ways to signoff , do you kin anyone from genshin ?

hoping the images dont glitch out ,

- jellyfish

OHHH WAIT i think i've heard of that kaeya and diluc novel thingy??? i'm pretty sure i've seen them around twitter or tiktok some time ago and omg i should check them out then!!! those covers look so good maybe i'll actually get around with the whole series now that you've mentioned it

and omg that summers fic you just linked is already so amazing. you've captured my taste in genshin men perfectly (i say as i drool over alhaitham). i just finished with the first chapter and the author have really captured my heart with the bits of forensics and crime, adding on with the tinge of arab culture too!!! i'm gonna go ahead and read them when i have the time hehe

you do short stories... poems... AND GAMES???? hello am i seeing this right

(p/s: i low-key do those kinds of a/n in my google docs draft for ma too... but they just never made it to the finalized version 😔)

and actually dain is in bed with me rn idk what you're talking about 🙄🙄🙄 /j

me personally i am very interested in khaenriah lore but i really haven't gotten to it (tbh the overall lore of the game is a lot to take in) but i probably will someday,, if i am not lazy /hj

and honestly... i don't exactly know who i kin in genshin tbh. so i have decided to take this VERY extensive genshin kin quiz (as per what they've named their site) and surprisingly i got... collei?

though when i read this, it made me realize that, maybe i do kin her. whoops

okay i'm heading to bed now it's 1 am and i'm busy tomorrow 😔 it was nice talking with you again jellyfish !!! have a nice day 🫶

what are your like top 10 oM songs?

this is SUPER hard to answer so I’m gonna try to be accurate but this also changes very often. but also I’m just gonna go with my long term favorites. in no particular order bc i don’t think i could put one as number one

1. anyway just kidding my number one of all time is Party’s Crashing Us no contest. this is because it was the first song i ever heard of theirs, and I really only had heard sunlandic twins because it was the one my sibling played the most. (I started liking oM because of my sibling lol). It just makes me so happy and sad at the same time it’s such a beautiful song. I only feel alive when the vus flashing.. alarms going off in my heaaadd.. i wanna grab you and just kiss you maybe i should sit down no sense in cashing us nowww..... the partys crashing us nowww....

2. okay from now on actually in no particular order, an elurdian instance is still one of my favorite songs, and the one people tend to say is a “very me” song. although it’s really hard to choose off of skeletal lamping bc that used to be my favorite album of theirs for like a couple years. anyway it’s such a nostalgic song.. the bit about the mountain goats and the last summer as independents and stuff always makes me so ;_;

3. we will commit wolf murder I swear to fucking god it’s SO good. I’m considered ugly from every angle... youre the only beauty i don’t wanna strangle... the lyrics are beyond amazing and like his voice is so soft and he doesn’t overdo the falsetto (though his falsetto is always good). and i dont even dislike the weird ending which i usually do (he overdoes it on this album too but im aware shes just that kind of girl and has to do the weird artsy instrumentals). good fucking song

4. speaking of paralytics stalks, what an UNDERRATED ALBUM. I LOVE dour percentage. “this planet is an orphanage” is such a good line also his falsetto here is extremely good. i love singing to this song. he also wrote it about a friend breakup which i love and well it’s just a good song. I’m also gonna have this be a tie with malefic dowery which has a similar vibe; so soft and singable...

5. ok paralytic stalks again maybe but spiteful intervention is easily possibly my second favorite song of theirs. the beginning makes me acutlaly insane. i used to listen to it at 5 AM on my way to work on the freeway and hearing him say “oh god the morning light, sunrays bring my paranoia, I CAN’T FUNCTION UNLESS I’M THE ONLY ONE -- AWAKE” literally unlocked something inside of me. SUCH a good song

I’m manic right now

6. faberge falls for shuggie thank you very much. hissing fauna used to be my favorite album for a very long time and the intro to this song would just live in my mind forever. i love his screaming/yelling and weird voice in this one. he’s like speaking to himself in it (did shuggie do it yet? no. not yet) and i love when he does that shit. the instrumentals are so good. and the scream bit at around 2:00 is so delightful.

i’m starting to realize i don’t actually know my top ten favorites and i have like top 20 actually. this is hard

7. i have to add in some satanic panic of course, so climb the ladder is on here. he has such a sweet little gift for making such nice love songs. i also love lysergic bliss of course but i think a lot of the songs off that album are so underrated including this song. wahh

8. sleeping in the beetle bug!! such a delightful tune and i love the key it’s in. i love cherry peel. the lyrics are so funny and the breakdown in the song is great. he is so good at guitar man

9. stag to the stable is my #1 lyrical depression song what a GOOD song to have a little breakdown to. rune husk is such a sexy EP too. i want the cover on a shirt

i’m extending this to 12 songs i really dont care sorry

10. Empyrean Abattoir. this album is an underrated basic rock album of his but this song in particular does something to my brain... the breakdown is also super good on this. when he transitions between the softer mellower parts into the yelling... the beginning is still my favorite part though . TBQH

11. feminine effects is such a sweet little song and the “bobby baby” makes my heart go SOFT so so so soft. i dont know who the vocalist is but I LOVE her voice. i think shes the one on lousy with sylvianbriar as well? is that nina?? anywho. WAIT SPEAKING OF NINA shoutout to heimsdalgate like a promethean curse i love that line. dancing to this song live is like crack to me. i shout the lyrics every time

12. tie between triumph of disintegration, imbecile rages, and raindrop in my skull off of lousy. what a great country-esque album. i always listen to it when i’m chillliing. raindrop in my skull is one of my favorites because the aforementioned singer has such a nice voice.

(shoutout to miss blonde your papa is failing for being the saddest fucking song of all time)

okay so the rest of his albums are pretty poppy and i love pretty much all of them (except ur fun . ur fun sucks) but there arent top 10 favorites on them really. i will say i love IFSWYT and i think there are some songs that might become a top 10/20 song if i get more time with them. well anyway. sorry for the ranting but i love all these songs so much. god bless

Hi James! Question for your hockey brain as a Nol Pat and Flyers fan (and I think you’re those things in a way that are not as bound up in one another as they are for me which is why I’m asking you... that and bc I really like and respect your hockey thoughts and opinions):

I was listening to a podcast today and they were all going around saying who needs to make huge strides next season. The last person to go (after more obvious things like uh, goaltending and defense) said Nolan which I obviously don’t disagree with because by just about every measure he hasn’t had a good season though I think him playing as much as he did in this weird season was pretty good all things considered. I think it’s still pretty possible the Flyers resign him for another one year contract this summer but obviously see plenty of chatter on Twitter that maybe it’s best he and the org part ways.

So this is a truly ridiculous amount of context to my question: do you think Nolan can still succeed with the Flyers next year/going forward and what do you think needs to happen to make that possible? I really want to see him succeed within the organization because who wouldn’t want that for a player they’ve grown to really like on their favorite hockey team! Not to mention I remember being so excited at getting the second pick and I still want that to work out long term even if at this point that was a while ago. But yea, if it’s not gonna work I guess it’s not gonna work and better for all to move on? I have a lot of thoughts in both directions on this... just curious to pick your brain on yours. Thanks 😊!

alright so here’s the deal.

i dont know why on earth people got it in their heads that nolan was going to have some sort of phenomenal, superstar season. hes a good player! he is! but he missed over a year of professional hockey, and part of that time, he wasnt able to get on the ice at ALL because of covid. his season has been exactly what it shouldve been, not to mention his puck luck has kinda sucked and his numbers arent even indicative of how good he’s been. he’s gotten way more special team minutes than i thought he would and its been really good for him to boot! so like, do i expect to see improvement next year? yes! do i think its like, unfathomable that he hasnt been a 20 goal scorer? no! he needed time to find his feet again and figure out how to manage pro hockey, not to mention the added obstacles of covid and the holes in the flyers lineup.

i think this is one of those situations where neither answer is wrong. could nolan find success within the organization? yeah, i think so, if they do the right things and find a coach that is much, much better at handling the development of young players. could he also find success outside the organization given the exact same parameters? yeah! if the flyers decide they dont think the effort is worth the output and trade him to a team better suited to developing young players, then he could find success there too. i think mostly it just comes down to how the flyers decide to support nolan’s development from here, and that could be within the organization, but trading players is sometimes just another way to support player development. the bottom line here is we all just need to take a breath, see how the offseason plays out, and be patient. itll play itself out, and whatever happens will happen.

🖤 + PAIRING (from Oob and from Tai)

1) my muse’s initial impression of yours

The initial impression that Qrow got of Bart was that this boy was really fucking weird, especially because he kept following Qrow around, and kept trying to talk to him. Sophomore Qrow was bound and determined he wasnt going to start this year off as rough as last year because he knew what to expect, and had his quiet corner of the library all picked out. No one bothered him other than this kid, and it never quite occurred to Qrow that was because Bart wanted to be friends. Summer had to tell him.

2) my muse’s favorite physical attribute of yours

Bart's hair. Its part feathers, after all, and Qrow has always lowkey been a bird guy. He really likes petting and pulling Bart's hair.

3) my muse’s favorite personality attribute of yours

How inquisitive Bart is. Qrow definitely gets the impulse to devour every scrap of knowledge that you come across, and that is something he admires in Bart

4) a moment that made my muse realize how much they care about yours

Qrow was (and somewhat still is) very ignorant about feelings and about how he connects with people. He often doesnt realize that he's caught even friendship feelings until something happens or someone points it out to him. Summer had to inform him he'd managed to make a friend with Bart because well. He'd never had a friend like that. Especially not one that he didnt make because he was supposed to work with someone on a team.

5) something my muse never found the words to say to yours

Qrow regrets not being capable of being softer or more open with his affections when he was younger. He really does regret that his upbringing had made him so ignorant of what you do in healthy relationships that he sometimes feels like Qrow never quite communicated to Bart how important he was, or got across his feelings. In a way, he really regrets the words never came to him because it could have taken their relationship from friends with benefits to something more romantic. Qrow feels like he blew that chance a long time ago (see below)

6) something my muse wishes they had never said to yours 

Everything he ever said during a drunken fight. Qrow's aware that Bart is one of the many people that reduced the time he spent around Qrow to the bare minimum because he couldnt deal with the drinking and the type of person Qrow was when he was deep in his cups for an extended bender. Though he only has vague memories of what he said, Qrow doesnt begrudge Bart for stepping back. He just wishes that he'd never given his best friend a reason to do that in the first place.

7) something your muse does that makes mine feel safe 

Bart was one of three or four people who knew the Twins' secret about where they came from. The fact that he never outed them gave Qrow the confidence that Bart was a safe person with whom he could confide in. There arent many people that make that kind of impression on Qrow.

8) something your muse does that makes mine smile

Bart's tapping.

9) something my muse wants to protect yours from 

When they were younger, it was bullying because Bart is faunus. The Anti-faunus prejudice used to be a lot worse in Vale, and Qrow (and Raven), having been raised in an egalitarian Tribe where race did not matter, was violently protective of their faunus classmates. Social cohesion is important when it comes to survival in the wilderness and racism towards the faunus has no place, especially when you're relying on that faunus to protect you.

10) ways my muse says ‘i love you’ without saying those words

Qrow brings Bart gifts. Little curiosities or rare books from his travels. Things he knows his friend would be interested in, or fits in his pretty eclectic collection. He also has a respond tap to Bart's because words are hard, but three little taps is much easier.

what should i read 4 arthurian legend idk where to start

ok hold on lemme find one of my other answers to this ask for u :-) im too tired to write out the whole thing rn

yunder the cut . rip mobile users LOL

i think the best two starting options involve the same strategy of “pick a knight you like the most and consume all the content you can find on them until you get bored/think of another knight and repeat” and its as simple as “do you want to start with sir gawain or do you not know who you want to start with.”

sir gawain i think is the best starting knight if you wanna go the route of reading as much as u can about one and moving on, since theres a LOT of varied content and hes just in a lot. hes important! anyways the first recommendation i have to start with is Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. its a wonderful piece of poetry about a homoerotic beheading game, getting a movie this summer! its fucking gorgeous and a really good introduction if youve never read this old of texts before. i have a few different links so you can take your pick of what you prefer :-)

heres it in the original middle english, its beautiful and if you get the beat down sounds fucking gorgeous but i understand how hard it is to get through if youve never read through it before.

lou recomends Raffels translation above all others which i kinda have to agree with. heres part one and heres part two of that.

and the other link i have directly on hand atm is tolkiens translation which ive skimmed before and it seems really solid.

if you dont want to start with a short and tender christmas party, consider another text most arthuriana fans will consider a must read. its a bit more intimidating than sgatgks poetry but like. hey. its Sir Malory’s Le Morte D’arthur.

this is more on the level of most of the story things youll find for arthuriana and a good starting point to get an overview of a lot of major plot points and characters that show up time and time again in the legends, all of the major knights are covered through malory’s own spin on them and he tries to cover a lot of older tales in his weird fanfiction.

the text can be weird ESPECIALLY if you arent used to middle english since he …. used some weird as fuck words? even for the time. but thats malory.

I highly recommend, if you can get a copy, Kieth Baines modern retelling of Le Morte, it rewords things to make more sense to those used to a more modern prose and while it takes out some of the nuance of some scenes, its way easier to pick up and read. were working on a full scan of it atm actually but the book of arthur is up in our shared drive :-) ill shove a link down here for u

heres the first bit of baines rendition. honestly if u can find a copy for cheap grab it is a fun time

heres the pdf i use for the full text, warning for how weird its structured? its long paragraphs with no quotes around text but if you have no problems with that go for it. heres book one and heres book two.

from there, theres a ton of different options you can follow, but again i think the least overwhelming way to go about it is pick a knight you like and read whatever seems fun that has them in it !

best choices include gawain again, the marriage of sir gawain and dame ragnelle is fun, l’atre perilleux is so fucking wild and just a fun time, the turke and sir gawain has gawain playing tennis? like what more do you need

lancelot has a decent collection of old stories including the entire vulgate cycle (my favorite piece of arthurian lit, im working on scanning the entire english translation ;-)), lancelot and the hart with the white foot, though i havent been able to find a FULL translation, is wonderful and with that the lancelot collection of old stories is a lot of fun the dutch loved him, if you have like 10 bucks to spare, Lancelot and the lord of the distant isles is on amazon for cheap and retells the book of galehaut section of the vulgate and its . so good. please care about galehaut.

tristan as wild as he is is also a really good choice for how popular the Tristan and Isolde legend was in europe. you can find a ton of versions of it, though i prefer the german one by gottfried von strassburg, another amazing one is the povest o’tryschane which is a slavic take on the legend that weirdly throws sections of the vulgate and some italian romances in? i adore it either way.

uhmmm some more off the cuff recommendations include Troyes four romances and also Perceval. as much as i bully troyes knight of the cart, knight of the lion, and knight of the grail are some of my favorite words. skip cliges if youre doing that though it sucks so bad. troyes hated his version of tristan and isolde so much he wrote cliges. that alone should keep you from it. eric and enide is ok but eric sucks SO HARD. i hate that bitch.

more modern but tennysons Idylls of the king? fucking stellar. i recently got a copy and its really gorgeous poetry. kinda like le morte in having a good overview of key events in the texts and some notable characters so this works as a good jumping off point

and finally one i cant really speak on much due to my preference of the romances, but i have many good friends who say the welsh sources are REALLY REALLY good and worth checking out :-) the mabinogion mainly, but a lot of the scattered poetry is really fun!

for finding pdfs for some of the ones i just named, u can check out my doc of whatever sources i have on hand. im missing quiet a few but i got most of the ones i recommend at least io3hewt. heres the link to that. ill post a link to the vulgate when i can finish up scanning the prose merlin !

anyways mwah feel free to msg me if u have questions im insane and like researching this stuff for hours and am willing to find out any information 

My thoughts about folklore

Cardigan MV: MAGICAL, the water scene? So cool, I love the piano being the lifeline

The 1: piano? I love her,, TAYLOR SAYING SHIT,, chill vibes, lover but like this love kind of, “roaring 20s tossing pennies in the pool” , “if my wishes were true it would’ve been you,,” I love the background vocals, the lyricism are incredible. “The greatest loves of all time are over now” “in my defense I HAVE NONE” background vocals again! Bridge! Persist and resist?

Cardigan: percussion in the back? second part of first verse talking about rep? Levi’s and the iiiiii part? Hand under my sweatshirt?? miss TAYLOR! the BRIDGE, “stars around my scars but now I’m bleeding” the parts about knowing what would happen, the sweetness of nostalgia

The Last Great American Dynasty: tension——the DRUM beat, upbeat? This is a story? Feeling like starlight, who is this about? Is this that mad woman from the later bit? Pool in champagne, like TIWWCHNT! It’s picking up! I kind of really like the chorus, like really really like it. MARVELOUS is my new favorite word I think

Exile: piano! And this is a feature, so chill, like I want to float in a pool with this playing like the feeling of contentment this is giving me.”I think I’ve seen this film before, and I didn’t like the ending” the bridge, is so cool and it’s very pretty, Taylor’s voice is so so so pretty in this, very like the chorus after the bridge in Treacherous. “We always walked a very thin line” HAUNTED REFERENCE

My tears ricochet: the background! And it stops! It’s traveling earbud to earbud! Why do I feel like I’m going to cry? “Even on my worst day, did I deserve all the hell you gave me...I loved you...til my dying day” Cold as You who? “Same jewels I have you as you buried me” the word and imagery of this ALBUM “CURSING MY NAME WISHING I STAYED” YES YOU CAN GO WHERE YOU WANT “BUT JUST NOT HOME” OH MY GOD I-“BUT NOW IM SCREAMING AT THE SKY” “YOULL HEAR MY STOLEN LULLABIES” I love this “BATTLESHIPS” AND IT PICKS UP “you had to kill me but it KILLED YOU JUST THE SAME” good god this song is so good like

Mirrorball: please man I need a pick me up,, 70S VIBES FROM THE VOCALS, what is a mirror ball? Ah, thank you Taylor. “Hush, when no one is around my dear” is so pretty “on my tallest tiptoes, spinning my highest heels, love, shining just for you” so pretty the vocals on that part. “I CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME JUST TO FIT IN” yes taylor you ARE A DISCO BALL GET INTO IT 💃🏼 SHINING JUST FOR YOU is so happy it makes me so happy, this is such like a happy song but like at the same time so freaking sad, so bittersweet

Seven: Aw this is so sweet, ah the snaps in the back is so cute! This is about her childhood! How cute!! “SWEET TEA IN THE SUMMER CROSS YOUR HEART CANT TELL NO OTHER” SLAPS this the second VERSE oh my god I’m gonna cry from that “why your dads always mad...you won’t have to cry” “I love you to the moon and Saturn” 🥺

August: chill and beachy vibes from the lyrics,!! THE CHORUS! AH! LOVE IT! “Cuz it was never mine” “CUZ YOU WERE NEVER MINE” “for me it was ENOUGH TO LIVE FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL” “CUZ YOU WERE MINE TO LOSE” is so beautiful!! Yes taylor bring back the OUTRO yesss outros make me so damn happy “meet me behind the mall” “cancelling my plans just in case you called” STRINGS IN THE BACK I REPEAT STRINGS IN THE BACK IM SO HAPPY I LOVE ORCHESTRAL THINGS

This is Me Trying: ooooooh I like it so far the beat and instrumentation “but I’m here in your doorway” THAT WAS FROM BEFORE IN THE ALBUM (I’m too tired to remember which song but IT WAS THERE IM NOT SLEEP DEPRIVED) “at least youre trying” sounds HEAVENLY DIVINE IMMACULATE MARVELOUS the movie references! That was a thing! THAT WAS A THING! “At least I’m trying✨”

Illicit Affairs: guitar! Guitar! Taylor! With a guitar! “Ends with meetings in parking lots” “born with just a single glance but it dies and it dies and it dies a million little times” leaving no trace behind? Oooh is she the other woman or something man this is sad

“LOOK AT THIS GODFORSAKEN MESS YOU MADE ME” “LOOK AT THIS IDIOTIC FOOL YOU MADE ME” “and you know damn well for you I would ruin myself” the pain, the anguish, death by a thousand cuts

Invisible String: interesting backing, we’re doing some fun rainbows,, I love how “clues” sounds I want that repeated until my death, ahahahaha Taylor yes reference yourself, SHE SAID I LOOKED LIKE AN AMERICAN SINGER; dive bar? Delicate who? Too many references that this isn’t about her and joe, DEEP BLUE BUT YOU PAINTED ME GOLDEN!

Mad Woman: please tell me this is about the last great American dynasty? Or is it an allusion to the Kanye and the scooter stuff? TAYLOR SAYS FUCK! AH! “And you find something to wrap your noose around” and also the piano? can you tell yet that I like piano? “AND WOMEN LIKE HUNTING WITCHES TOO” omg THIS IS about KANYE AND KIM, IDSB, THIS IS ABOUT KANYE AND KIM. “COUPLE SIDE THINGS” THROW THAT SHADE THROW IT THROW IT THROW IT! MAATHBP but like make it about 2016s snakegate

Epiphany: track 13! SO CHILL, SO CHILL, LOVE THIS, LOVEEEEEE LOVE LOVE LOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE. The vibes are IMMACULATE, the LYRICS, love it love it LOVE IT. WHAT oh my GOSH this is high key so SAD “DOC I THINK SHES CRASHING” DONT DIE NO ‘only 20 minutes to sleep?’ WHAT DOES IT MEAN? “Watch you bleeding OUT” NO, the background vocals I love this though, good god, HEARTBEAT BACKGROUND MY GOD NO THEYRE GONNA DIE ARENT THEY? It’s fading? Are they dying? Am I reading this wrong? Idc I love it

Betty: this is written with that William guy who doesn’t exist. HARMONICA, folkkkkkkk. “The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you” HOLY SHOOT, mentioning summer! is this the guy that CHEATED? OH NO THE POOR OTHER GIRL AND POOR BETTY THIS IS SO SAD also the guiTAR! KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE KEY CHANGE! oh my god the CARDIGAN,

Peace: ooh I’m anxious. THE GUITAR RIFF? Love IT, “If your cascade, ocean wave blues come//All these people think love's for show//But I would die for you in secret” “sit with you in the trenches” GIVE YOU A CHILD? SEE YOUR BROTHER AS MY BROTHER, THIS IS ABOUT TAYLOR AND JOE :))))) “you have a friend in me” vs “it’s nice to have a friend”. She could never give him peace because she’s a celebrity obviously, which is what I think this about

Hoax: last song on standard,, PIANO? LYRICS? I’m literally not even going to list them they’re all beautiful, but the vocals on “Stood on the cliffside screaming, ‘Give me a reason’ Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in” slight of hand? Card sharks playing games? please this is so sad, she sounds so SAD in the BRIDGE god, “but what you did was just as dark”

The Lakes: how do I listen to it? Lmao can’t find it and I’m tired

Wow Taylor outdid herself with the lyrics on this album, absolutely incredible, and the vibe is so chill but like sad and it’s like if Safe and Sound and Lover (the album) had a baby, but like with the sad songs on red, like Sad Beautiful Tragic fits right in here. Anyways I love it to pieces. Good night y’all 💗

Nino’s Quest Chapter 1: Gathering the Party

When his uncle leaves for Morocco, it looks like Nino might be stuck without any Dungeons and Dragons for a few months. Since this is a terrible fate, Nino takes it upon himself to make a campaign of his very own.

Now if only he could find a party...

Thank you to @alienducky for inspiring me to expand on this one shot from last year’s fictober prompt! And thanks to @marinoodles for letting me steal her name!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 (Final)

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3. My ko-fi.

“As you clutch Raygar close, he whispers a single name into your ear as if it were the most important thing in the world: ‘Doznak.’ The moment the word passes his lips, the light leaves his eyes.”

“No! Not my dude Raygar!” Nino wailed, his fist hitting the table, gently shaking the drinks that had been set on it.

“...And I think that’s where we’ll end this session. Thanks for coming out, you guys.” Uncle Hassan gave a hug to the other two party members as they left, leaving just him and Nino to pick up. “Thanks for the help, little man. How are you liking this campaign?”

“It’s totally awesome, uncle dude!” Nino raised his voice to be heard as he carried the glasses to the kitchen and left them in the sink. “Each story gets better than the last. And man! Tonight’s cliffhanger. I can’t wait to get the low down on who this Doznak dude is next week.”

When he returned, he saw his uncle smiling sheepishly and rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah… about that.”

“What?”

“I’m going to be visiting your grandpa in Tangier. So, uh, you might be waiting on that thrilling conclusion for a while.”

Giving his uncle a suspicious look, he asked, “How long is a ‘while’, exactly?”

“I won’t be back until New Year’s, kiddo.”

Nino gaped. “Dude!” He said, betrayed. “We’re only just at the end of summer! How am I supposed to wait that long?!”

Uncle Hassan chuckled. “Well, you’ll be starting school soon. That’ll help keep your mind off it, right?”

“Maybe a little.” Nino pouted and pulled his cap down, trying to hide his disappointment.

A large hand settled on his shoulder and Nino looked up into the hazel eyes of his uncle. “Kiddo, you’ve been doing great and it’s been fantastic having you around in the game. But sometimes groups have to take a break for a while. These things happen.”

Nino sagged. “But… I was just getting the hang of Dungeons and Dragons…”

“Well, you don’t have to stop.” Nino looked up, curiosity getting the better of him. “My books are just going to get dusty waiting for me here. Why don’t you take them and make a campaign of your own? Invite your friends. Trust me, it’ll be way more fun than playing with us geezers.” Uncle Hassan laughed, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

His friends? Nino thought of Adrien, with his impenetrably dense schedule. Alya and her lack of interest in games, whether they be board games or video games. Marinette and her tendency to always be juggling fifty projects at once. Although… they weren’t his only friends, right? It couldn’t be that hard to find two or three people willing to game with him like once a week.

“You know… you might be onto something.” A grin reached Nino’s face as he took the rulebooks that his uncle passed him. Outside, a car honked its horn - his dad was there to pick him up.

“Tell my brother-in-law I said hello. And good luck, kiddo!”

Nino waved and felt his mind light up with the possibilities of adventure.

--------------------

The last month of summer went by in a blur as Nino put his mind to work getting his campaign drafted. When school started, he took a few weeks to get back into the swing of things before he started the hunt for a new party.

That’s where he hit a snag.

There weren’t that many Dungeons and Dragons players in his class. Or, at least, not many that he knew of. He managed to corner all three of them during lunch and pitched his campaign to them.

“...So what’d ya think, dudes? Sound like a party or what?”

Max cleared his throat and pushed up his glasses. “I really am very sorry, Nino, but I’ve been kept adequately busy with my work on game design. While I’d love to join up, it would cut into my other projects. Regrettably, I’ll have to decline.”

“Alright, dude, no sweat.” Nino patted Max on the shoulder and turned toward the other two. “What about you guys?”

Juleka shook her head. “Sorry. I just started one with Rose. Can’t back out now, you know?”

“And I just got hooked on a new MMO with Ivan,” Mylene said with a wince. “If I stop now, I’ll lose my placing that I worked so hard for!”

“Major bummer.” Nino tugged at his cap as all four of them got up to return to their usual seats.

“According to my projections, I’ll have a greater likelihood of joining on the next adventure.”

“Maybe next campaign,” Mylene patted his arm as she walked past him.

“Yeah, we can try again next time.” Juleka paused. “Have you tried asking Adrien?”

Nino shook his head. “Nah, dude is always super busy.”

‘Sure, but he was asking me and Rose about D&D. I dunno, maybe just try it?”

“Really?” Nino perked up. His best friend had gone home for lunch, but he was still just a text away. “It might be worth a shot. Thanks, Juleka.”

“No problem. Good luck.”

Taking a seat at the table next to Alya, Nino shot a quick text to Adrien.

Nino: Heard you were asking about DnD. You game?

“What’s that about, babe?” Alya asked, looking over his shoulder.

“I’m trying to get a party together for Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Dang, and the first half of that sentence was so promising.”

“So is that a pass then?” Nino said with a faint smile. While sometimes he could get her to play games with him, he understood that it wasn’t her favorite. Just like how he didn’t share her love of rom coms, but indulged her every now and again.

“Yeah, babe. Although…” She looked at Marinette as she rushed into the building clutching a brown bag with the Dupain-Cheng bakery logo. “...there might be potential there.”

“Hey, guys!” Marinette sat down opposite them and opened the bag, passing some chocolatines to the two of them. “What’re we talking about?”

“Hey, M.” Alya leaned forward. “Do you ever play roleplaying games?”

“Um, sometimes? You know my favorite is fighting games, but I’m up for some adventure sometimes.” Marinette tilted her head to the side. “Why?”

“Well, Nino here was thinking about running a Dungeons and Dragons campaign…”

“I’m… not sure.” Marinette’s eyes widened. “Not that I’m not interested! It sounds like it’d be fun to do with friends. But I don’t know if I’ll be able to find the time. Plus-”

She was interrupted by the sound of Nino’s phone going off. He’d left it on the table, so everyone could see that it was from Adrien. A small smile crept across Nino’s face when he heard the little intake of breath when Marinette noticed.

“S-so, um, how’s- how’s Adrien?”

Poor dude. The guy isn’t even here and she is stuttering. Nino pulled up the text.

Adrien: Yes!!! I got all the rulebooks months ago and I’ve done my best to learn but no one plays. [sad cat emojii] Are you going to be a DM??

Chuckling, Nino sent him another message.

Nino: You bet! Would you be able to meet once a week?

The response was immediate.

Adrien: Maybe if I say I’m working on a group project? I could pull it off, yeah.

With a huge grin, he looked back up at the girls. “My boy is in!”

Marinette bounced up and down in place. “Then so am I!”

“Oh?” Alya leaned forward with a smirk. “What happened to not having the time?”

“I will find the time, I promise. But gaming with friends? And Adrien? Too good an opportunity to pass up.” She met Nino’s eyes and had the good graces to look sheepish.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. If this means I get more players, than I don’t mind.” He turned towards his girlfriend. “Speaking of more players… Now everybody else is in. How ‘bout you?”

Alya rolled her eyes with a smile. “I guess someone has to keep an eye on you hooligans.”

“Nice. This is going to be great!”

-------------------

Nino: And… we… are… LIVE!

We’ve been expecting you, Adrien Agreste

Marinette joined your party. Everyone look busy!

Alya is here, just as the prophecy foretold.

Nino: Say hello everybody

Adrien: Hello everybody

Nino: You’re hilarious

Marinette: hello! Hey guys!

Alya: Sup

Nino: We’ll be using this Discord server for all Dnd related things, k? Mostly for planning new sessions

Adrien: What about… spicy memes?

Nino: Know what, bro? I’ll make a channel that you can spam to your hearts content

Adrien: <3

Nino has changed his name to Lord DM

Alya: Seriously

Lord DM: Definitely

Adrien has changed his name to Adrien Regreste

Alya: Pffft

Adrien Regreste: Come on, Mari! Its what all the cool kids are doing!

Alya: Hey now

Marinette has changed her name to marinoodles

Marinoodles: ...How’s that?

Adrien Regreste: ;-; Its so cute. And also hilarious??

Marinoodles: I mena thank you! *mean

Alya has changed her name to Alya’ll Beware

Alya’ll Beware: Sweetie you know you can just edit your comments right

Marinoodles: ...Now I do.

Lord DM: Lol Anyway. How’s this weekend looking?

Alya’ll Beware: Just jumping right into it, arent you? But yeah I’m free

Marinoodles: I babysit Manon on sunday but saturday is clear!

Adrien Regreste: I can pull off saturday! Where are we meeting??

Lord DM: Whoever we meet at provides food. Since I am DM, I am exempt. (Plus my place is always supes crowded)

Adrien Regreste: Uh I can probably manage it off. Father will be out of town with Nathalie. The Gorilla is much more lenient hwen it’s just us.

Marinoodles: Gret sounding! *Thta sounds gerat! **That sounds great!

Adrien Regreste: Haha, yeah! I’m pumped to have you guys over. :)

----------------

Despite Nino’s fear of a repeat from last time, none of them were thrown out or belittled on their way to Adrien’s room. The worst that any of them received was an uncertain glare from the Gorilla as they filed upstairs.

As it turned out, the most difficult problem they had to face was Adrien’s purchasing habits. Nino had to explain to him that even though they were teenagers playing D&D, there was no way they’d be able to get through five pizzas and all the drinks he’d ordered. After he’d extracted a promise not to go overboard again, Nino went straight into explaining the basics and had them roll for stats.

“You sure about this, dude?” Nino leaned over Adrien’s shoulder and frowned at his character sheet. “I get you’re gonna be a bard, but max Charisma and low Wisdom just sounds like a recipe for disaster.”

Nino could just barely overhear Alya whisper to Marinette, “Attractive but kinda dense? Doesn’t that sound like someone we know…?”

“ALYA,” Marinette whispered back in a scandalized tone.

“Maybe, but that just means it might be more memorable, right?” Adrien looked up at Nino and couldn’t hold out against the excitement he saw in his eyes.

“Sure, bro.” Nino walked over to the girls. “And how’re you two hanging?” He craned his neck to see where Marinette was sticking her highest stats. “Dexterity… and intelligence? Good choices for a rogue.”

Marinette smiled. “Thanks! I’ve been thinking about her background. Get this - the rebel daughter of an elven baron.” She nudged Alya. “Pretty neat, right?”

“Wow, that sounds way cool, Marinette!” Adrien beamed at her and she melted.

“Than- than- Thanks, Adrien! You’re cool too!” She winced, but Adrien’s smile didn’t dim.

Nino raised an eyebrow as he noticed her hit points. “But, uh, why’d you stick your lowest stat in Constitution? Your dude isn’t gonna be able to take a hit.”

A sly smirk spread across her face. “I won’t need to take a hit if I play my character right.”

“Heh. Fair enough.” Nino turned his attention to Alya’s sheet, only to see it blank. “Um, something wrong, babe?”

“I dunno.” Alya shrugged. “I’m not big into games like you guys are, so its all going in one ear and out the other.”

“Well…” Nino took a seat next to her and thumbed through the core rulebook. “Maybe we should just keep it simple, right? So you can get your bearings.”

“A fighter?” Alya raised an eyebrow. “Seems kinda boring.”

“Yeah? How about a knight errant, looking for glory to make her name in the world? Rushing forward to defend the weak from the strong? Still sound boring?”

A grin split her face. “Now you’re speaking my language, cappy.”

“That’s Lord DM Cappy to you, babe.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Okay, so let me see if I get where we’re standing.” Adrien pushed the hair out of his face and looked at the three of them. He pointed to himself. “I’m a half-elf bard.” The finger shifted to Marinette who blushed and frantically waved at him. “Elven rogue.” Alya fell under his digit next. “Human fighter. Where does that leave you, Lord DM Cappy?”

Alya groaned and Nino chuckled. “Since someone needs to watch out for you guys, I’m going to be playing a human cleric. A priest of the sun.”

“Sounds like we’re pretty well balanced? Well,” Adrien ducked his head. “Except for me. Maybe it’d be better if I just played a wizard…?”

“N-no!” Marinette quickly interjected. “Adrien, you can be what-whatever you want to be!”

“Dude has a point. There is more to having fun than being the most efficient party possible, bro.”

“Alright.” Adrien relaxed. “Awesome.”

“Now, let’s get everything else sorted for character creation. And while we do that, I can tell you a little about the world you find yourselves in…”

As Nino began by telling them of the Good King Hamon, he felt a spark light up from within. He could already tell this was going to be the best campaign.

my darling @daintyharru tagged me to share my top albums of 2019 💫 and I'll never pass up an opportunity to talk about music as it's my favorite thing in the world (even if my tastes are questionable adkdjdj) so here we are!

these arent in order, but middle row is my top 3 of the year, then top row earns the next spots, followed by those in the last row:

1. Cheap Queen // King Princess - I actually didn't think I was going to love this bc I hadn't been feeling the singles as much as I did her EP in 2018, but the album as a whole works so! well! and by the second listen I was sold. also i cant wait to watch her perform these songs on shitty livestreams of uk love on tour shows

2. Nothing Happens // Wallows - who would have thought the kid from 13 r*asons w*y and his pals would make the soundtrack to the 90s gay indie high school film of my dreams?

3. Norman Fucking Rockwell // Lana Del Rey - lana's songs are always hit or miss for me so I've never been able to call a full album of hers a favorite until this. this? absolutely goes off on almost every track, thanks queen

4. Wasteland, Baby! // Hozier - andrew my tall forest dweller wife and the lesbian spirit possessing him delivered, as always. just as good as his first album which is saying a lot

5. Fine Line // Harry Styles - :') nothing to say shes in the middle spot for a reason

6. Heard it in a Past Life // Maggie Rogers - this is a top 10 album of all time for me (and definitely second only to fine line in 2019) I'm so grateful to have found my witchy feminist rockstar and her music that speaks to my soul. gonna Love You For A Long Time miss maggie

7. Doom Days // Bastille - I dont even think this album is as good as their others (though it has its moments) but I enjoy it conceptually and it provided me with the political bops I needed this summer to drown out everyone else playing you need to calm down, so

8. i,i // Bon Iver - I'm annoying and I like crying to bon iver idk that there is anything else to say here. couldnt really get into the sound on the 2016 album, but this one hits just right

9. Inner Monologue Part 1 // Julia Michaels - this making the list is hilarious bc I hate issues with a passion and kinda assumed all her music would be like that. only reason I even listened to this was bc I was curious about the collab with niall (which imo is the best thing hes done and it's not even his) but! I somehow ended up really liking it, especially bc it makes me think of my sister who now after my recommendation is personally attached to these songs

tagging @angelharrie @wlwharry @harryspretty @strawberrieharrie @twelvegrimmyplace and anyone who wants to share what they were listening to last year 💕

9, 21, 29, 40, 81? ^w^

9. favorite smell in the summer?Fresh Cut Grass ..

21. obsession from childhood?OBSESSED with dragons. dragons n dinosaurs but Mainly Dragons i LOVED Them. i had 200 dragons toys (which i still do) and those . Dragonology books. i LOVED them.. me n all the girls in 2nd grade in the schoolyard Talking About Dragons. B)

29. best way to bond with you?Ideal Form of Bonding would b to b sitting in a vc . i would not b saying Anything im just *sits there* *vibes* that’s my Peak State of being. that or talking about stuff i like (my ocs .......... that funkey hat game ........................ thats is thats all i like (/j) ) 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? answered this already but yknow what. ill share Another fun story anyways . so 1 time me n the boys were just having lunch in the cafeteria and this guy just came up to all of us and asked if we wanted to buy a vape off him. .................we all said no. he then asked if anyone had bus tickets. .........none of us did but i think the Weird part of that exchange was that. why didnt u just ask for bus money . why did u start off with offering a Vape to a bunch of gifties . nerds . or just go onto the bus w/out paying like everyone else when u dont have money. losing my mind..... even later far into lunch we could see him goin around to other lunch tables . presumably asking ppl the same thing.     Anyways dont do drugs kids dont buy drugs dont odo vaping .

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?arent those the same thing. anyhow i call them Fireflies...... they r Fire Flies .. smh. lightning bugs not Realshsmsmhsmhsmhsmhh.... Fireflies is all i know. 

4/??: Trouble is: this one sounds more like a plea to an old lover to let him go? like he’s asking the person and himself to let him go bc he still loves them and he doesnt want to but he doesWake up sunshine: i like the drums and the chorus. i like that it sounds like he’s speaking to the audience and telling them that everything okay and to remember that they have someone in their corner to be there for them

Monsters: its heavier sounding and i like the drum/bass beat. it sounds angrier which goes with the lycris and its an interesting turn before the interlude bc it diverts from the romantic light sound of the other 6 songs and even though he seems upset with the person he loves he still loves thempretty venom: i like this as an interlude. it sounds like a reflection and it’s a good pause after the angry tone of monsters while holding the themes of it and sounding like he’s reflecting on where to

firstly, trouble is CRACKS seriously name ONE thing sexier than a verse in 13/4 and a chorus in 6/8. wake up sunshine? also bops. monsters? GIVE me that blackbear feature god i love it. now this is an unpopular opinion please dont doxx me but pretty venom is....actually my least favorite on the album NOT because i think it’s a bad song, its NOT, just because it is SO slow compared to the rest of the album. like wus was really marketed as an album to blast with your windows down driving down the highway or whatever and it is absolutely perfect for that EXCEPT for pretty venom it slows the album down so much. i like it but i wish it werent on this specific album

6: favorite place: i like that he’s saying that his favorite place is the person and being with them. and that he wants them there when he’s feeling low safe: this one sounds to me like it goes with wake up sunshine and melancholy kaleidoscope bc its talking about the listener getting away to feel better. it sounds like it’s telling you to let go of the past and move forward

favorite place oh you mean the most beautiful love song of all time??? “you feel like the sun on my face” holy shit that line decked me and i just LET it. god what a good fucking song plus the camino feature?? iconic. ETA FORGOT TO ACKNOWLEDGE SAFE IM SO SORRY SAFE I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH god when the chorus hits my heart SOARS also my particular opinion on safe is that there should be a key change in the last chorus. just listen to that break between the end of the bridge and the beginning of the final chorus and TELL me you dont think there should be a key change there like IMAGINE THE POWER

7: January gloom: i like the tying of the feelings of sadness to the seasons and how it being gloomy outside ties to feeling sad but that the person is the sunshine he needs to combat the outside world Clumsy: this one sounds like an apology for something he did and that he’s asking for forgiveness for what he’s done but also that they should have seen it coming that they couldn’t work together bc of other reasons like who they are. but this one might be top 3 on the album bc i love the ending

january gloom is a whole bop and so is clumsy!!!! fun fact that is actually where half of my url comes from i dont think most people actually know that bc on a glance it just looks like im calling michael clumsy which,,,fair enough,,,,,plus theres no mention of atl in my bio or anything i should change that but anyway yeah. my url is clumsy the song. so

8: glitter&crimson: i like the metaphors in this one like he’s saying that they’re two special things that belong together (supernova vs 4 clover) also that he makes it sound like she’s the luck he needs and that he needs her now but that he wants to be together before it ends Summer daze: i like this being the second part of january but that it sounds like the upbeat summer vs the gloom of january. it sounds summery and sweet but theres the edge of sadness that he doesnt want the summer or love

oh fun fact glitter & crimson is actually a song about the Gays!! he said this for Apple Music:

“To me, this song is about two characters who are deeply in love, whose love is not allowed to be that by [a certain] society. They’re gay, and they don’t feel like they’re accepted in their own skin for who they are, or for who they want to love. It’s a cry out to seize that power back and saying, ‘No. You don’t get to dictate how we live our lives.’ Obviously, I can’t speak to that, being a straight guy, but I know a lot of people who live that experience every day. And it was something that felt very meaningful that I wanted to address for them because they can’t [in this way]. They aren’t songwriters.”

i was initially kinda like hm.......hmmm.....but ultimately i feel like he a little confused but he got the spirit. (when he said that gays cant address this bc they arent songwriters tho like alex.....you know gay songwriters exist right??? may i introduce you to fletcher. kehlani. hayley kiyoko. troye sivan. the way they LITERALLY did a song with tegan and sara on lyr- i just. anyway. he means well.) AND additionally i would like to say that i fucking love summer daze GOD the distortion on those guitars chef’s kiss

9: basement noise: this sounds like a closer in the way that some kind of disaster sounds like an opener to the story. it sounds like a reflection of something thats over and that he’s nostalgic for what was. this one sounds like its not just about love but about the band and what things used to be. And this has been my track by track review

omg.....i never thought about it as like the ending to a story that skod begins but youre kinda right it starts and ends with looking back wow i fucking love that. fucking LOVE it. basement noise is so lovely like the emotion is evokes is just. wow.

thank you for this track by track i thoroughly enjoyed it

Whoa, is that THEODORE JEON? I love him! You might know him as THEO. He’s the MAIN DANCER, AND VOCAL of IMPULSE, and he’s a ‘97 LINER! He’s one of my favorites under GOLD STAR ENTERTAINMENT. 

surprise bitch i got another char n for once they arent a demon more abt him below like this 2 plot ty gn 

theo is my lil babie boy, hes the babiest of impulse 

ok wait idk abt babiest but hes the youngest 

he is freakishly smart like im abt to struggle to write it sometimes bc hes studying psychology n is just ... rly bright ? 

that said this dude is a fucking idiot hes gullible as h*ck for someone so gd sarcastic 

hes all bark and no bite like he might say hes gonna throw hands but he would never in the wise words of seungyoun he doesnt have a killing part bc hes a pacifist 

his dad is french ergo the name he visited there (not his dad tho) in the summers sometimes so he speaks a lil bit of frnech (i do not so u will never see it in real time)

his personality is bein based off his astrology chart n he’s a double aquarius w his venus also in aquarius so ... i’m sorry VNDSMG 

(for u non astrology h*es this means he’s a gd edgy menace but i promise hes also a softie) 

he seems a lot dumber than he is like he Does have a brain u just cant always tell 

wanted plots 

ppl who try to make him less schedule focused / have more fun 

rivals ?? esp if its someone who thinks hes dumb

partner in crime 

“i’m not gay but i’d definitely kiss u bro” (narrator vc: he was a little gay) 

97 line group chat 

2 am friends 

he tries 2 get ur muse to stop smoking 

idk dude im tired GHDJSG 

Just Say His Name Part 1

So this happened to me now for a third time, you think i would have learned my lesson. I wrote a whole lot of this story and the draft didnt save so now i must write this all over again. I may make this 3 parts im not sure yet. If you enjoyed my story please like and reblog!!!  This is based off of an old english myth!

Warning: Some language, Smut will be coming soon, some mention of Domestic Violence but very small. If alot of people like this story i will keep writing! I wanted to see how this one turned out. 

The vibrations of the train were making my eyes close even more. It has been a long ride and i have almost made it to London. Its about a two and a half hour long train ride. It was just me and Rory my cat on this journey. I am coming from Paris, i went to school there and lived with my family. A couple of days ago my parents got an letter saying that they had an urgent  meeting with some Aurors downtown. After said meeting they were told they needed to go on a trip with more Aurors out of the country. I was of course not able to attend. My mother was talking to my Aunt on the phone, my cousin Lilly attends Hogwarts. They were very excited and offered for me to stay with them while they were away. This is unfortunately a two year mission. Going in my bag i looked back at my ticket to remind myself where i am going so i dont miss my stop. Kings Cross Station Platform 9 and 3 Quarters. I sigh as i lean my head on the window. 

“Kings Cross Station next! ETA 5 minutes.” The train conductor yells as he goes through the train cars. I take a glance at Rory who is sleeping next to me. 

“Well Rory it looks like we arent in Paris anymore.” It is our third year LIlly and i, I am very excited about the next two years but also very excited. The train comes to a halt and the Whistle blows. I gather everything and  Rory. The train conductor puts my luggage on my cart and tips his hat. He leaves me alone and surrounded by people. Lots of people hurrying to catch their trains, whistles blowing and lots of carts. Frantically,i start looking for Lilly or my Aunt. 

“(Y,N)!” Sighing in relief i turn around to see my Aunt, Uncle and Lilly standing with a sign that says Welcome to London. I push my cart towards them and run to give them all a hug. “Its so nice to see you dear!” My Uncle takes my cart and they lead me to the car. 

“Its so nice to see you all too!”We all get to the car and start driving to their house. “Thank you again for taking me in, mum and dad really appreciate it.” 

“Of course! We are all very excited!”

“My friends are also very excited to meet you. They are the ones i take to you on the phone about,”

“Ah, yes Peter, Sirius, Remus and oh yeah how could i forget James.” Her parents laugh. Lilly blushes. The Car takes a turn on the next street. In the Yard you see 4 boys and a girl hanging out in the yard. I was assuming they were waiting for Lilly to get home. The car turned into long driveway and we all exited the car. A kind of tall boy with glass ran to Lilly and gave her a hug, 

“Lilly pop how are you my darling?” Her face turns red with embarrassment. 

“Ah, you must be James.” He smiles and shakes my hand. The rest of the group caught up with James, they all hugged Lilly.

“(Y/N), this is James, Peter, Sirius, Alice and Remus.” I wave

“Its so nice to meet all of you, Lilly has told me so much about you all. More about James than anyone.” James high fives Sirius meanwhile Lilly punches me on the arm. “Ow, asshole.” My Uncle gets my bags as we walk up the driveway. Her house was lovely, all brick house with a wrap around porch. Inside was just as grand as the outside. When walking inside there is a formal sitting area and formal dinning room. I followed everyone to the main living room area. It was a very  large space and the kitchen was in it as well. “Lilly what is that amazing smell?” 

“That my dear is my famous Chocolate Chip Cookies. Im reheating them for you all. Lilly why dont you go show (Y,N) her new room. The reset of you may go outside and play Quidditch-” 

“Yes!” Sirius and James cheered. 

“Without breaking anything please.” The group left to go to the backyard, Remus was the last to leave, he looked at me softly before heading out back. After he left i had the weirdest feeling i have never felt before. I barely knew this boy yet i longed for him to come back. I was drawn to him. I shook it off and headed upstairs to my new room. The room was nice, it had light blue walls, and a fluffy white rug in the middle of the room. I had a bed, desk, and bookshelf. I hugged Lilly. She was surprised at first then hugged me back. She understood that this was really hard for me not being with my parents. I was still waiting for an owl to come to let me know they made it ok. My cat Rory seemed to bed doing ok as well. Sleeping in a tall cat tree right by the window so he can watch the cars drive by. We went back downstairs and walked to the back porch. Lilly ran up to the group excited to play.

“Come on Remus how many times have you read that book?” Sirius yelled

“This happens to be my favorite book, and at least i can read better than you.” Remus smirked

“At least i can read better.” Sirius mocked. 

I was never a fan of sports and i have never played Quidditch. I was standing near a table and chairs on the porch where Remus was sitting. I took a glance without him noticing at the book he was reading. 

“To love or have loved, that is enough. Ask nothing further.-” i quoted 

“ There is no other pearl to be found in the dark folds of life.”  Remus finished the quote. “Thats right.” He smiles up at me. He gestures me to sit down. When i sit by him i feel heavy, Im so drawn to him. “Im assuming you read, and you have great taste in books.” I smile and push a piece of hair behind my ear but it falls again. This time Remus puts it behind my ear and it stays in place. All i think when i look at him is just how bad i want to jump him. “(Y/N)? You ok?” I zone back in. 

“Yeah sorry, what were you saying.” He laughed and continued.

“Whats your favorite book.?” I bit my lip to think, I have never really had an absolute favorite. 

“Well your holding one of them and Pride and Prejudice.” 

“Thats not a bad book either. What else do you like to do for fun?” I bit my lip again, i have no idea who this boy is and yet im so nervous around him. “Did you notice that you bit your lip when you are thinking.” I blush in embarrassment. Before i was going to say something he interrupted. “I think its adorable.” Im sure my face was super red now.

“Hey (Y,N) Do you want to- why is your face so read?” Remus chuckles as he leans back and continues his book. I look towards him, he winks at me then continues to read. 

“Its just hot out here. I am not a huge fan of sports but i will for sure watch,” Lilly shrugged and went to go play. The picked teams, they were now up in the air playing. Sirius had the ball the passed it to James. James threw it in the hoop but the ball landed near one of Lilly’s moms flower pots. The pot went into many different pieces. Everyone in the air and on ground were silent. 

“Please Merlin she didnt hear.”

“James and Sirius!” My Aunt yells. 

“We will go clean it up.” Everyone laughs, 

“Is there a time when they dont break something?” 

“Almost every time they break something dear, however this time it was just a flower pot and not our window.” My Aunt explained as she put the cookies on the table. “Last time they broke my window and James’s parents payed for a new one. Ive never seen James so terrified, Remus had the pleasure of watching that one unfold.” Remus chuckled and shook his head.

“What did Sirius’s parents say.” She paused as she placed a pitcher of Lemonade on the table. “Ok we dont talk about his parents, got it.” 

“Mrs. Evans is not of fan of his parents. Sirius hasnt been back home since the summer going into his second year. James’s family took him in.” I looked over at Sirius with a sad look. He was pushing James to the ground laughing. He looked so happy though. Coming from a horrible household you think he would be an asshole. “I know what your thinking, he is upset about his family but at the same time he found a better family here. Hes a nice boy.” Remus looked back up at her. She got the hint, winked and went inside. 

“That was an interesting look you gave her.” He smirked

“I just dont think hes your type.” I raised my eyebrow at him. This boy dont even know me. But whats weird is that hes right. 

“Oh really well whats my type?” 

“You date nice boys, well you started dating a type like Sirius but it didnt go well. Now you arent really looking right now nervous how the next boy will be.” He was right but it brought back memories i didnt need. I stood up, went inside and slammed the porch door. Aunt tried to stop me but i was already half way up the stairs. I think Remus means well but what he doesnt know is my last relationship ended with me in the hospital and being a werewolf for the rest of my life.

@thenaturaldisaster@th3maraud3rsmap @rougerazors @rainandhotchocolate

Headcanon: First Date with Ben

HEY so it’s my spring break and i’m back temporarily :) i hate saying temporarily but i know that once school starts again i’m never gonna have time to breathe lol but i’d like to think school is temporary, writing for you guys once summer hits will be the real thing <3 

this wasn’t requested but as a starter, i’ve written this headcanon :) sorry if it’s shit, haven’t written in a while so i’m a little rusty. i hope you like the ending though, i certainly do. 

**this is going off the “Meeting Ben” headcanon I wrote a while back xx

“so uhm…”

“yes?” you giggled, brows raised as Ben swallowed harshly

“i-i was wonderin’ if you’d like to go on a date with me.. sometime..?”

“is this not a date?” 

then Ben’s cheeks went red, even more so than they were before

because like

he had been waiting for the right time to ask you on a date since he followed you into that cafe

how was he supposed to know he was gonna spend the next two hours talking to you in that back table

but you looked so lovely underneath the fairy lights of the cafe

and he adored the rose tint on your cheeks whenever you subtly dropped in your love for Queen

that’s another thing, he loved your taste in music

i mean, it’s a given that you liked Queen because of Bo Rhap

but when he learned of all the other bands / artists you loved, he kinda sorta just wanted to kiss you right there

he should’ve

anyways

“n-no, i mean, like a proper date, not that this can’t be considered one, but-”

“i’m joking, i’d love to” you cut him off, more laughs spilling from your mouth

and then you and Ben set a date, a time, and after he insisted on picking you up, you finally let him

the day of, he showed up with your favorite flowers which uh

u didn’t tell him what ur favorite flowers were

he uh.. kinda found out through instagram stalking

he didn’t specifically stalk you

but Joe did

Ben mentioned you to Joe and Joe was quick to find your account

(let’s pretend it’s on public if it’s not)

“oh she’s on public, this is gonna be fun” Joe said to Ben while they were hanging out the next night

“she is?!” Ben jumped over and

for a moment he wanted Joe to like.. stop because he kinda felt weird doing it

but i mean

he also was super super curious to see your posts and kinda also wanted to see more of ur face

so he went along with it

“she might even be funnier than I am” Joe said when he went over one of your captions

“I couldn’t stop laughing when I was with her, she’s hilarious” Ben gushed

“oh wait, what’s that one?” Ben made Joe stop scrolling to click on one of ur pics

it was of u and your friend’s dog

with the caption “don’t tell (your friend’s name) but i’m stealing her dog forever sorry”

“she likes dogs” Ben whispered to himself, a smile on his face as he imagined you with Frankie 

that’s when Joe stopped and looked at his friend

“you’ve known her for a total of 30 hours and yet i’ve never seen anyone do this to you.. you really like her, don’t you?”

Ben sighed, he didn’t want to let himself get so deep so quickly but

there was something about all this that just felt so easy, like it’s come into place

and something about you that made him feel as if he’s known you his whole life even if you had never been to england before meeting him

so Ben just smiled and nodded, hoping he wouldn’t get his heart broken with all the risk he’s taking

and they continued scrolling till Ben got a text from … 

surprise surprise, you 

and completely forgot Joe was there for a moment 

“oh by the way, just so you know, her favorite flowers are…” Joe told him before leaving

“how do you know?”

“her instagram, which, if your elderly ass would bother to learn a little more about, is a great app”

so anyways when Ben showed up with your favorite flowers u were happy and he was happy that u were happy

but also lol because you were staying in an airbnb and didnt rlly know where to put the flowers down

aaaannnywaaaays 

then you two drove out into beautiful London 

the night life was buzzing with Londoners and tourists alike and you couldn’t be happier to be in such a city

much less next to Ben, who if a week ago someone told you you’d be with him 

u might punch them for playing with your feelings

but here you are

“you see that building? that’s Abbey Road studios”

“so much history here, I think I’m in love”

when Ben finally stopped driving

you two were in front of a rather tall building somewhere in the financial district

Ben rushed to your side to open the car door

“can i ask where we are now?” you laughed and Ben chuckled as he finally told you

and he made sure to open the door for you on your way in

im convinced chivalry is still alive and comes in the form of ben hardy 

and u two rode the elevator aaallll the way up 

then you two went through a couple other doors

and then eventually you were met by a host who checked you guys in

then you were led outside

let’s say it summer by the way so you guys arent freezing when u go out

it’s a rooftop area, with outdoor furniture and plants decorating the area

fairy lights strung around the pergola, soft gentle music in the background

there’s a few other couples having dinner but it’s peaceful and everyone’s rather into each other so you know no one’s eyes will be wandering

but your favorite part of the whole thing

was that you could see the entire london skyline from your position, with a table in the perfect spot so no one was blocking the view

“what d’ya think? i-is it too much?” Ben asked shyly as you hadn’t said anything 

but you were in love with the place, your heart filled with joy

“it might be too early to say that this is the best date i’ve ever been on but i will, if that gives you any idea for how i’m feeling” 

as the dinner progressed, any nerves you felt coming in vanished

as did Ben’s

it felt natural, comfortable, meant to be

and when Ben reached over to hold your hand across the table

part of you never wanted him to let go, even if it made it a little harder to eat

in any case, he himself never quite wanted to let go either

with you, he wasn’t Ben Hardy, actor. he was just Ben

and he felt like he could be anyone he wanted to be around you

he loved that even if you were a fan, you never made him feel like he needed to take on the actor-persona he had 

in fact part of you forgot he was even an actor when you asked him if he had met anyone famous 

which made Ben laugh and your cheeks go red 

but Ben slipped up too lmao

“so I heard you like dogs?”

“...yes but...from.. who..”

then his cheeks got red as he had to carefully explain how him and Joe didnt stalk you on instagram but stalked you on instagram basically 

celebrities, they’re just like us

that’s when you laughed

which made Ben realise he could hear you laugh all day and never get tired of it

and never get tired of your smile

something about your twinkling eyes when you spoke about your friends and family back home

and about all your passions, ridiculous and not so ridiculous

u may or may not have let him in on your love for Queen, even more so than in the cafe

and u kinda forgot he was in Bo Rhap for a hot minute

but he was amused, he loved seeing you speak about something so close to your heart

and felt proud to be part of it

all in all Ben felt a feeling he hadn’t experienced in quite a long time, if ever in his life

a feeling of completion, of relief

as if he had been waiting his whole life to meet you

and so he continued listening to your rant about how much you love Freddie and JIm together

watching as you blushed and apologised profusely for going on about them

“don’t be sorry, i wished we could’ve had more of them in the film as well. and i love hearing your opinions on them, i love hearing you talk about it all. it makes me more and more fortunate to have been part of it”

“well i have much more to say about anything Queen related if you’re interested”

“then i’m always here to listen for when you do wanna speak about them” 

when dinner finished, you and Ben decided to postpone driving you back 

you two walked around the city more and eventually made it to a little park just up the road

your hand in his, humming ‘39 by your favorite band

Ben smiled to himself as he realised you felt the same comfort around him as he did with you

and so the months went on, date after date with Ben

till you found yourselves on your one year anniversary, walking around the same park you two had gone through on your first date

“do you remember when we first came here?” he asked

“of course, it’s when I realised I love loved you and was basically fucked”

“why’d you say you’re fucked?” he laughed

“i mean, i was like, oh god i’ve scared him by talking about my obsession with Queen and he actually knows them and he’ll tell them and Brian and Roger will think i’m crazy and he won’t ever date me again after this and all i can do now is hum ‘39 and hope he won’t block me on instagram after this” 

Ben cackled

“that’s not at all what i was thinking, i hope you know that”

“well obviously” you rolled your eyes

“d’ya wanna know what i was thinking?” 

“hm”

“I was actually thinking of Freddie while we were walking around”

“same”

“no, i’m serious” Ben chuckled 

“why were you thinking of Freddie then?” you giggled, squeezing his hand a little tighter

“well, if I was just going in my head about how if it wasn’t for him there would’ve have been Queen, wouldn’t have been a Bo Rhap, I never would’ve been in anything like it, and I might not have met you then because of it”

“i don’t like thinking about that” you muttered, leaning your head into his side

“really though, it’s mad how much he’s influenced all our lives in a good way” he stopped walking, you standing below him with curious eyes batting at him 

“i guess we have Freddie to thank then for bringing us together” you said before pecking his lips

and then you two stood there for a moment, your head pressed against his chest as you listened to his heartbeat

that’s when Ben looked down at you in his arms, then up into the starlit sky and whispered; 

“thank you, Freddie” 

do u have any arthurian legend book recommendations? ive been wanting to get into it but have no idea where to start i just think knight sexy

LOL Yes of course i do. i love answering this ask.

people will tell u different ways to start but they r wrong. i am sexy and know a lot and thus am right (sarcasm ive seen a lot of starting positions in the legends this list is just from my personal experiences with whats easiest and most engaging :-))

also dear lord this got long so im throwing it under a read more sorry

i think the best two starting options involve the same strategy of “pick a knight you like the most and consume all the content you can find on them until you get bored/think of another knight and repeat” and its as simple as “do you want to start with sir gawain or do you not know who you want to start with.”

sir gawain i think is the best starting knight if you wanna go the route of reading as much as u can about one and moving on, since theres a LOT of varied content and hes just in a lot. hes important! anyways the first recommendation i have to start with is Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. its a wonderful piece of poetry about a homoerotic beheading game, getting a movie this summer! its fucking gorgeous and a really good introduction if youve never read this old of texts before. i have a few different links so you can take your pick of what you prefer :-)

heres it in the original middle english, its beautiful and if you get the beat down sounds fucking gorgeous but i understand how hard it is to get through if youve never read through it before. 

lou recomends Raffels translation above all others which i kinda have to agree with. heres part one and heres part two of that. 

and the other link i have directly on hand atm is tolkiens translation which ive skimmed before and it seems really solid. 

if you dont want to start with a short and tender christmas party, consider another text most arthuriana fans will consider a must read. its a bit more intimidating than sgatgks poetry but like. hey. its Sir Malory’s Le Morte D’arthur. 

this is more on the level of most of the story things youll find for arthuriana and a good starting point to get an overview of a lot of major plot points and characters that show up time and time again in the legends, all of the major knights are covered through malory’s own spin on them and he tries to cover a lot of older tales in his weird fanfiction. 

the text can be weird ESPECIALLY if you arent used to middle english since he .... used some weird as fuck words? even for the time. but thats malory. 

I highly recommend, if you can get a copy, Kieth Baines modern retelling of Le Morte, it rewords things to make more sense to those used to a more modern prose and while it takes out some of the nuance of some scenes, its way easier to pick up and read. were working on a full scan of it atm actually but the book of arthur is up in our shared drive :-) ill shove a link down here for u

heres the first bit of baines rendition. honestly if u can find a copy for cheap grab it is a fun time

heres the pdf i use for the full text, warning for how weird its structured? its long paragraphs with no quotes around text but if you have no problems with that go for it. heres book one and heres book two.

from there, theres a ton of different options you can follow, but again i think the least overwhelming way to go about it is pick a knight you like and read whatever seems fun that has them in it !

best choices include gawain again, the marriage of sir gawain and dame ragnelle is fun, l’atre perilleux is so fucking wild and just a fun time, the turke and sir gawain has gawain playing tennis? like what more do you need

lancelot has a decent collection of old stories including the entire vulgate cycle (my favorite piece of arthurian lit, im working on scanning the entire english translation ;-)), lancelot and the hart with the white foot, though i havent been able to find a FULL translation, is wonderful and with that the lancelot collection of old stories is a lot of fun the dutch loved him, if you have like 10 bucks to spare, Lancelot and the lord of the distant isles is on amazon for cheap and retells the book of galehaut section of the vulgate and its . so good. please care about galehaut.

tristan as wild as he is is also a really good choice for how popular the Tristan and Isolde legend was in europe. you can find a ton of versions of it, though i prefer the german one by gottfried von strassburg, another amazing one is the povest o’tryschane which is a slavic take on the legend that weirdly throws sections of the vulgate and some italian romances in? i adore it either way. 

uhmmm some more off the cuff recommendations include Troyes four romances and also Perceval. as much as i bully troyes knight of the cart, knight of the lion, and knight of the grail are some of my favorite words. skip cliges if youre doing that though it sucks so bad. troyes hated his version of tristan and isolde so much he wrote cliges. that alone should keep you from it. eric and enide is ok but eric sucks SO HARD. i hate that bitch.

more modern but ive only heard good about lord tennyson’s Idylls of the king...

and finally one i cant really speak on much due to my preference of the romances, but i have many good friends who say the welsh sources are REALLY REALLY good and worth checking out :-) the mabinogion mainly, but a lot of the scattered poetry is really fun!

for finding pdfs for some of the ones i just named, u can check out my doc of whatever sources i have on hand. im missing quiet a few but i got most of the ones i recommend at least io3hewt. heres the link to that. ill post a link to the vulgate when i can finish up scanning the prose merlin ! 

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.