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willowser · 6 months

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you had only to look at me—

part two.

bakugou x f!reader

wc: 3.3k+

tags: nsfw (18+), childhood best friend bakugou, dry humping, implied virgin bakugou, a tad angsty at the end.

even before i was touched, i belonged to you; you had only to look at me. — the burning heart, louise glück.

this is a repost.

childhood best friend bakugou is probably a wrestler. a lil' rough-houser.

games of tag end with you tackled to the ground, squashed underneath him until you finally agree that he's the king of the world. whenever your hair is long enough to pull back into a pony-tail or little bun, he's yanking on it to get your attention, harsh, especially if you're ignoring him to talk to anyone else. scraped knees and bruised elbows, coming home missing a single shoe, shirt stretched out and wrinkled at the bottom corner: all katsuki's fault.

it makes you a little volatile, too, in turn.

not so much as him, but you grow up defending yourself; the first black eye he gets is from you (if you don't count the time he hit himself in the face by accident, when you'd started a slap-fight because he was trying to hold you down) and you very quickly learn how "unfair" it (apparently) is to kick him in the groin. your parents spend a lot of time separating you, putting you in opposite corners of the room until one of you stops crying and the other is ready to mumble out an apology. you're not allowed to sit next to each other at holiday events. whatsoever. under any circumstances.

he's your best friend. you wouldn't have it any other way.

in middle school, he's just as insufferable, hardly allows you to talk to any of your girl friends without butting in some how, too loud for anyone's own good. he tries to embarrass you in front of other boys, puts you in a headlock even when he's sweaty — which he is a lot at that point, during puberty — and calls you names that make you want to hide in the bathroom.

("why is he such a jerk?" your friends will ask, trying to fix the mess of your hair during lunch. all your butterfly clips are either missing or broken, crunched under bakugou's scrawny arm. "you should tell on him for being such a bully.")

nobody else treats you the way he does, and you don't treat anyone else that way, either; you never make ugly faces at your girl group, never punch them as hard as you can in the arm, aiming to leave a bruise. with all other classmates, you're — normal, trying to discover what that even means in the grand scope of things, who you want to be as the years pass. you avoid bakugou and his little posse of brats like the plague, because detention is what awaits both of you, should your paths ever cross.

things start to change, seriously, in high-school.

bakugou goes to u.a and you — don't; instead you continue on to the shizuoka high-school without him, along with your group of girls. his time at home and in the neighborhood lessens, even moreso when he moves into the dorms on campus, and the only time you see him becomes those few and far in-between family visits he has time to make; some holidays, he doesn't come home at all.

at first you think it's a good thing, because you've never gotten to flourish while trapped in his armpit. yanking at his hair until he finally lets go in the middle of the hallway has always garnered you some weird looks, odd stares, and you finally stop being labeled aggressive, too, with him gone. boys can talk to you without being stalked by your angry, wiry, chihuahua of a best friend, and you go on dates, ride in cars, have your first kiss.

you miss him from time to time, though you'll die before admitting it, and the yearning doesn't last long whenever he does come home. even when you're seventeen, eighteen, he still lays on the couch and puts his stinky feet in your lap and in your face, purposely puts things too high up on your shelves, leans against the front door so you can't get out when it's time to leave.

(he becomes an immovable object, much to your annoyance; in the past, you've always stood somewhat of a chance against him, knowing all his weak spots, like the clump of hair at the crown of his skull and how ticklish he is on his thighs, but now, after all the training he's been doing — he's huge, unfortunately.

if he grabs your wrists in one hand — like he's never been able to do — and holds them above your head, you're useless to defend yourself; there is an absolutely zero-percent chance you'll ever manage to overthrow him if he sits on you; tickling him is impossible, because his thighs have gotten so muscular that it's hard to grab him, and even if you do manage it, he can nearly crush your hand if he closes his legs together.

bakugou doesn't even look like your scrawny best friend anymore; he looks like the guy that ate your scrawny best friend.)

you graduate and go to college. bakugou graduates and goes to work for best jeanist, in the heart of tokyo. seeing each other means planning on it, making an effort neither of you have ever had to, and there's a lot of radio silence for months at a time. somehow it always comes full circle, though, and it always ends in violence, because you two don't know any other way to be.

you're twenty the first time his touch becomes tight, bruising, purposeful — for new reasons.

it's one of the few times he's off, and you haven't seen each other since his mom's dinner party four months ago. you only agree to come over because his patrol route had taken him through your campus and you'd spotted him across the street in the early hours of the morning, after you got out of class.

now you're both tired, lazing around despite planning to get lunch once the heat died down. together doing nothing; sometimes it's a little alarming how easily the two of you fall into each other, but you've been doing it for so long that it doesn't take a second thought.

bakugou strolls out of his bathroom with damp hair, in nothing but a loose pair of sweats, and you're laying on his couch half-asleep and he puts his wet towel over your face and you ball it up and throw it at him and then he tries to whip you with it.

"stop," you groan, serious, "you're so annoying." when he only twists it tighter, you stick your arm and leg out, deflecting against the wet smack he tries to leave against your skin.

his sharp teeth flash with his ugly little grin, and you try to grab the towel twice, ending up with an angry, stinging lick up the inside of your arm, before he gets too close and you can finally yank it from his hands. you sit up to get a better angle, but you're not as quick as he is, as adept at being a brat, and when he yanks on the towel, your whole body nearly comes off the couch, arms almost coming out of their sockets.

"bakugou!" you squeal, and he cackles, evil, and grabs your hands when you try to smack him. your massive, stinking, freight train of a best friend deposits his entire body on yours, crushing your lungs with his back as you cough, "get off!"

he doesn't say anything, choosing to pretend he's watching whatever is on tv and that he can't hear you — which you could believe, because bakugou likes trash television more than he lets on — and your hands are trapped at your sides and you can't breathe and so you bite him, right in the neck.

"ow, fuck!"

when he moves, he moves fast, and you're only hope of retaliating before he flips around and grabs your wrists and holds you down is to roll the both of you off the couch. his body thuds, deep and heavy, against the carpet, and you trap his hands beneath your knees as you straddle his hips, adjusting your full weight so you can at least try and keep him down.

beneath you, bakugou sneers. "you've got five seconds t'get off me before—"

"one!" you shout obnoxiously, rolling your eyes just to hear his annoyed snort. "two! three! f—"

his body snaps up into a sitting position, nose bumping yours as he rips his hands from beneath your legs. a scream tears out of your throat as you wiggle, surprised, trying your best to stretch your arms over your head and around your back so he can't grab them; if he does, it's game over for you.

"stop!" you shout, choking out a shock of laughter when he brings his legs up, trapping you in his lap against his chest. a little grunt leaves him as you jostle, but the tension at your back never lets up, not even when his mouth sets in a firm line and a sharp exhale leaves his nose. "let me go," you tell him, squirming again as he reaches for your hands. "i'm not playin' around."

"too bad, y'shitty nerd." he says, gruff, and when you stick your tongue out at him, he buries his face in your neck and bites, too, taking advantage of your shock as his fingers close around your wrists.

"no!" you scream again, trying in earnest just to get away from him completely, but he holds your hands behind your back and keeps you squished so tightly into him that you can only breathe shallowly, and his free hand goes to ball into your shirt at your side and —

— and his face is red, you realize, delayed. you can almost feel the heat from his cheeks with him so close, and you take in the flush of his neck, how it spreads down to his bare chest, crimson and fevered. his tongue darts out to wet his lips, nervous, almost.

"what?" you breathe, quiet, as if speaking too loud will break your playful bubble, and his eyes jump around his living room before landing back on you, narrowed and black.

"what?" he echoes, voice pitched and mocking. "you lose, dumbass." and even though he closes his eyes and grits his teeth, there isn't any hiding from how hard he's breathing. how subtle he's trying to be about spreading his legs.

all at once, everything kind of — falls apart.

bakugou is a man now, much to your horror; it feels like you've closed your eyes and opened them in the lap of someone else wearing your best friend's face. there's serious muscle definition in his shoulders and biceps, and you can feel yourself getting lost in the curves and valleys of him like never before. he's — you're — so close. more than it feels like you've ever been, even though you know that's far from true.

this boy used to pin you down in the yard and threaten to lick your face, the both of you grass-stained and covered in sweat. you've tackled him face first into the ocean on various vacations, running behind him quietly and plunging his scrawny, shirtless body into the waves as they rushed forward, uncaring of what you were wearing or how it twisted when you both came up for air.

saliva is still drying on your neck from where he bit you and, unthinking, your eyes dart down to his lips; plumper than you ever realized and parted, just a bit, enough that you can feel his breath on your cheeks. and you wonder —

bakugou grunts quietly, shuffling himself so that his back is leaned against the couch, and you half-expect him to just let you go because things have — changed. but he doesn't.

instead the new position has his legs a little wider and you've sunk a little further and you're now very aware of exactly what's changed, and how much. you can feel him twitch, just barely, and the hand he has at your side balls tighter into your shirt, jostling you minutely in the process.

and finally he opens his eyes and stares at you — cheeks burning, eyebrows furrowed — and you stare back — heat lighting up your body to an uncomfortable degree as your stomach flips.

you wonder what he would do, if you kissed him. what it would feel like. what he would taste like.

you move your hips with purpose, stuck on the new and foreign change it does to him; bakugou's always been a tough little brat, and you made him cry a handful of times when you were younger, but this weakness is — different. there's so much you know about him and yet even more for you to learn, and you find yourself consumed with the desire to explore this new, enticing territory.

his lashes flutter gently when you grind against him, tentatively, and then his head thumps back against the couch as the muscle in his jaw sets. half-lidded, his red-hot gaze jumps from your face down to where you're seated against him and back, and it's only after you move again that you realize — he's watching you, too. discovering.

the fist he has in your shirt loosens and his fingers burn your bare skin when they slip under the material to grip your hip. at any moment, you're half-expecting him to tell you to cut the shit, to shove you off and ask what the hell is wrong with you. why you're being so weird, doing things friends don't do to each other. but he doesn't.

you're almost certain that if you put your hands on his chest, you would be able to feel the mirrored, nervous pace of his heartbeat; it only takes the faintest tug of your hands for him to let you go, his grip falling to the other side of your hips. you can't tell if he means to hold you in place, or keep you going.

you spread your fingers out and, gently, as if you've never touched him before, run your hands up his chest, watching the bob of his adam's apple when you rest them on the sides of his neck. stabilizing yourself a bit, before testing the waters again.

bakugou's eyes are nearly black and when you don't stop, he looks down to resume watching the movement of your hips, the way his sweatpants bunch up and tug, and you feel a little zing up your spine with his every sharp inhale and sharper exhale. even his jaw falls a little slack and, fuck, you've never seen him like this.

you never thought you'd want to, but now — you don't think you'll ever see him any other way again.

his eyes go a little wide when you lean into him, brushing the tip of your nose against his. neither of you have said anything and maybe you should keep it that way, lest the bubble burst, but you feel like you're going a little insane.

quietly, around your own heavy breath, you ask, "does this — feel good?"

you can feel the temperature of his cheeks spike, but he nods shallowly regardless, and you press your mouth into his throat to bite him again, just lightly. it should be so that he's a little biter; the feel of your teeth makes him jump, has him angling his head so that more of his neck is exposed to you. when you soothe the barely-there indentation with the flat of your tongue, his breath hitches and his shoulders shake on a shudder and he groans, like he's angry.

"hah, fuck."

the friction in his lap isn't doing much for you, realistically, but his reaction is what has you aching, has you drawn tighter than a bow string. you feel yourself growing antsy for something that you won't name, because friends don't do that, though you can't help but to wonder if he's ever done it before.

you've had a few boyfriends. had a few experiences that ended quickly and left you feeling exposed and uncomfortable and a little in pain, and even though your girl friends insist that's normal — it's nothing like this. bakugou might not last much longer, if the grip he has on your hips is any indication, but not a single piece of your clothing has been removed and you're hot and getting sort of desperate and you know your underwear are a little more than damp.

you want to dismantle his long-standing composure. you want to be — maybe — the only one that gets to see him fall apart like this.

he's been your best friend your whole life, afterall; this experience should be yours. he should be.

the thought has you shivering a little bit and bakugou bucks up against you, pulling you down hard in his lap. dragging across the thick and solid length of him becomes even more clear and another, stronger zing has you letting out a breathy little sound into his ear. it makes him groan again, this one almost whiny, but he closes his mouth to muffle it and you don't want him to do that so you tighten your fingers in the hair on the crown of his head and — just to see, in a way you've never done before — you quietly whisper,

"katsuki,"

and he loses it.

one of his hands slips up your shirt to splay against your back, forcing you closer to him so he can bury his face in your neck, and his hips become insistent, urgent, rutting up against yours eagerly.

"fuck, oh fuck, fuck," he groans into your skin, fingers gripping you so tightly that you think he might actually leave burns behind, and his shoulders tremble before he goes totally still.

for a little while, you both sit there and let your breathing even out as reality sobers you from whatever lust-drunk haze you'd both been in. distantly, you think you wouldn't mind if he pinned you to the ground the way he always does, only this time to peel all your clothes off, right here on his living room floor. but he doesn't.

doesn't say anything, just shudders every now and again, and you think you're starting to feel the wet spot soaking into the front of his sweatpants.

you pull back just a little to look at him and he lets you, face just as red as he stares back at you, like he's the one waiting for you to freak. a little bit of red has returned to his eyes, though they're still swollen and dark with want.

when you lean in again, to bump your nose against his, bakugou snaps back away from you.

"wh-the fuck are y'doin'?" he shifts his eyes to the ground and they go wide. horrified, maybe. all the blood rushes in your ears and you don't know what to say, so he continues. "i-i don't have time t-to sit around all day, so—" bakugou shakes his head and you think he's going to kick you out, and he must know it, from how stiff you go. "so, you better know what the hell you wanna eat."

your bubble has burst; you nod silently and he glances up at you twice before swallowing.

"well, i can't get dressed with you sitting on me, so get off." when you remain quiet, he finally raises his head to look at you head-on, fisting the edge of your shirt again so that you'll look back. "d'you..." bakugou wets his lips before biting them, "need anything?"

"uh," maybe to shove your head down the drain and drown yourself, so that you can get rid of all the not-so-nice feelings that are creeping up beneath your skin. instead of that, you tell him, "just the bathroom, maybe."

"hurry up then," he mutters and even tries to roll his eyes, though it feels anything but casual. "don't...take for-fuckin'-ever."

and then he's up, quick to stand so that his back is to you as he disappears around the corner to his room, leaving you to yourself, trying to smooth out the wrinkle he's left in the corner of your shirt.

#this is my attempt at being a bit more organized akhfkahfa #the second part ends so abruptly that i'm tempted to extend it a little more............#if i don't put up the second part right away it's bc i'm thinking about it LOL #bakugou x reader #bakugou x fem!reader #i did not even check over this for typos whoops #not a one shot oh well #✿ willow writes #✿ one shot: bakugou

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fidgetspringer · 4 months

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Testing out the beautiful antique dip pen I was given for christmas with a hasty brain horse.

#my art #not good enough to go on the art blog so on the main it goes #i'm gonna give it a couple more attempts when my hands are less wobbly #but it's fun to use #i enjoy the natural line weight you can get as well as the very organic lines #i'll get some new ink since mine is ancient #as well as some new nibs since this one is kinda crusty #it do be very pretty though

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hellsite-hall-of-fame · 10 months

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I finally decided to create a semi-decent tagging system- enjoy :)

#hellsite hall of fame - actual legendary posts that belong in my wonderfully cursed hall of fame museum

#hellsite hall of fame curator’s bullshit - asks and other posts that 100% belong here, but alas aren’t legendary posts

#the hellsite answers - any and all asks. some helpful, some just silly-goofy-fun, some extremely cursed bc ✨tumblr✨

#hellsite hunger games - @hellsite-hungergames blorbo poll competition that I somehow was lucky enough to enter, and was runner up in. also gives context to -

#enemies to lovers angst hurt no comfort 200k hellsite hall of fame × perry the platypus - a truly beautifully cursed fanfic being written by @instantpansies about how I lost the hellsite hunger games to perry the platypus bc, once again, ✨tumblr✨

#color of the sky - my beloved favorite post that i’ve based this blog’s entire personality on. the original post is somewhere in there... if you scroll far enough :)

#bee movie script - some of the best posts on this hellsite are under this tag. scroll through it all… if you dare

#long post - any and all long posts. some are legendary, some are just obnoxious…. but that’s why I love them <3

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cowsaresushi-coral · 2 months

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dating sim protag concept art 1

#doodles #2024 #plague doctor sim #i say dating sim loosely. it's just organized like a dating sim #btw this is a game i wanna make because i said as a joke 'why aren't there any dating sims with plague doctors'#anyways i want to make games and my first attempt is rizzing up some guy with a doctorate JUST KIDDING

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beanbeanbee · 4 months

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First time drawing Kitano/Martin *head in hands*

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tmetta · 11 months

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I am once again asking you to look at my sesskagu oc trying to play with her cousin

#inuyasha #sesskagu #moroha #sesshomaru #i missed drawing her....#shinatsu #im attempting to organize my tags for her but im lazy #hc every time inu and sess meet up for playdates it ends with both their daughters watching them verbally argue about the most inane shit

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bizarrelittlemew · 1 year

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fic masterpost

with links to tumblr posts in case you want to make my day and rec one ❤️ one-shots under the cut since this was getting long (yay?!)

this post will be updated as I add more!

tag for scrolling through them all

Multi-chapter (6)

Something timeless going on (post) 9 chapters, ~37.3k words, E, canon divergence au (different first meeting) - COMPLETE

Where Edward Teach is 20 years old when he first meets Stede Bonnet, and they become friends with benefits (and a lot of feelings) through the years until Stede goes to sea.

Wanna share? (post) 2 chapters, ~12.9k words, E, modern au (music festival) - COMPLETE

Ed, a music festival veteran, helps music festival newbie Stede feel very welcome on his first day after meeting him in line for free condoms.

Matching spark and flame (post) 4 chapters, ~29.8k words, E, medieval fantasy au, Reverse Big Bang 2023 - COMPLETE

When prince Stede Bonnet is accused of murdering the royal family, the kingdom calls upon warlord Blackbeard, also known as the Shamer, to use his magic powers to prove Stede's guilt.

Circus Nights (post) 15/31 chapters, ~41k/? words, E, circus au, inspired by the ofmd kinktober 2023 prompts - ONGOING

In all his years with Hornigold's Circus, Ed has never had such a distressing season. The cause? Newcomer Stede Bonnet, with whom he has to share his wagon. The problem is not that he doesn't like Stede – no, it's that he likes Stede a bit too much. And when Stede asks Ed to teach him his most popular trick, sword swallowing, new opportunities arise...

Five Birthdays and a Funeral (post) 6 chapters, ~58k words, E, modern au - COMPLETE

When Ed and Stede's friend groups merge, they meet at a birthday party, and Stede's life is turned upside-down. As they collide again and again, he not only has to figure out what Ed means to him, but what he means to himself. Or: The five times Stede wasn't ready, and the one time he was.

In the sack (post) 2 chapters, ~8.3k words, E, post-s2 - COMPLETE

To be very honest, Ed had planned on making Stede wear the sack for like, half a day. But once Stede put it on, it was like the air changed around them. As the latest observation in an interesting chain, Stede in the rice sack onesie is… oh boy. One word does come to Ed’s mind here, and that is obedient.

Microfic

warmth, good food, orgasms (post) 319 words, M, post-S2E3

One-shots (24)

First Snow (post) ~3.5k words, T, modern au (winter)

Edward wakes up to the first snowfall of the year. He cuddles a depressed Stede, who is totally just his roommate, and takes him to a nearby market.

⪼ my "Stede has recurring depressive episodes" fic with lots of domestic fluff

Prescriptions (post) ~2k words, T, modern au (medical)

Ed is a chief physician on night shift, and it’s a big deal when the hot, new pharmacist (guess who) comes by with a question.

⪼ a small thing for OFMD JanuAUry day 3 - Medical

Out of my head (post) ~6.2k words, E, modern au (rock star)

In which Stede gets to do more than just meet his rock star crush after the show.

⪼ something smutty (with an age difference) for OFMD JanuAUry day 8 - Celebrity

A dollar short (post) ~6.6k words, T, modern au (coffee shop)

A new coffee shop in Ed’s neighborhood has a Dutch auction-style book sale, lowering the price by one dollar each day. Ed gets very attached to one particular book, and one particular coffee shop owner.

⪼ where Izzy is a chihuahua for OFMD JanuAUry day 15 - Coffee shop/Pet owners

Hiptyscoop (post) ~6.7k words, E, modern au (magic)

Stede takes his school team for a Hiptyscoop tournament at Queen Anne's Academy, but ends up taking on a different challenge.

⪼ described as "kinda unhinged in the best possible way" (thank you @as-a-creww), this has dirty magic for OFMD JanuAUry day 18 - Hobbies/Magic school/Rivals

Save it 'til the morning after (post) ~2.9k words, T, modern au

Ed wakes up in a stranger's apartment and needs the stranger's help to piece together the night before over breakfast.

⪼ a cute little fic where Stede helps clear Ed's hangxiety

Throw away the oars (post) ~10.5k words, E, modern au

Ed joins a rowing team over the summer with ulterior motives. The only problem is that Stede, the instructor, is twice his age. This doesn't stop Ed from trying, anyway.

⪼ more smut with an age difference but the other way around

From gloom to grace (post) 8.2k words, T, modern au

When Ed and Stede get lost in Iceland, they happen upon an eerie place, and have to deal with the consequences of being poisoned by a strange substance (cuddle pollen, it's cuddle pollen).

⪼ the one where I invent(?) cuddle pollen

Call your wife (post) ~3.2k words, E, modern au

Ed’s best friend of several years might be getting divorced. He also might have his hand down Ed’s underwear while they sit around the campfire with their colleagues.

⪼ slightly angsty semi-public handjob (or something similar)

I adore seafood (post) ~5.5k words, T, 19th century au

Ed answers a personal ad in the newspaper, but has a hard time figuring out if Stede's intentions are what he thinks they are – and whether Stede is aware of it.

⪼ oblivious Stede doesn't know he's on a date

Keep your 'lectric eye on me, babe (post) ~15.3k words, E, 70's au

Glam is rocking the Sunset Strip in LA, and Edward Teach is rocking glam. But then he hears rumors about Stede Bonnet, a groupie who might just provide the excitement he's been longing for.

⪼ slutty Stede my beloved <3 rock star Ed my beloved <3

Who are we saying is captain right now? (post) ~6.8k words, E, 90's au, Ed/Stede/Roach

When Roach’s car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, he has to count on the kindness of the strangers who live in the only house nearby.

⪼ introducing the raretrio Roasted

Overcompensation (post) ~9.2k words, E, modern au

Ed is pining for Stede, who is dating Ed's best friend Mary. While Mary is aware that Stede is likely gay (which Stede hasn't realized), she has no idea Ed is in love with him.

⪼ Stede and Mary are oblivious people and Ed has to deal with it. also, smut

A Series of Cases of Penetrating Stab Wounds of the Abdomen (post) ~1.9k words, T, fix-it in the format of a published medical case report

Abstract: We present five cases of penetrative stab wounds of the abdomen (all involving the same two patients) and the care and interventions that led to successful recovery (and reconciliation).

⪼ brand new fic format idk

Cashmere and lace (post) ~2.3k words, E, modern au

As far as Stede knew, men like that didn’t usually wear lace panties and garters.

⪼ pwp inspired by a tumblr post

Getting dressed (post) ~3k words, E, post-canon (post-reunion)

Stede has trouble finding something to wear other than his white stockings and yellow robe, Ed suggests an activity that doesn't require getting dressed.

⪼ pwp, the auxiliary wardrobe has many uses

Know real love when it aches (post) ~4.8k words, E, post-canon (reunion)

Stede Bonnet is dead, and Ed has made his peace with it. Until Stede stumbles onto deck and right into his arms.

⪼ Ed takes care of injured Stede in more ways than one

Five-star review (post) ~5.2k words, E, modern au

“D’you think I came all this way to not suck your dick?”

⪼ pwp where Ed goes back to his Grindr hookup for more (and perhaps more than that, too)

Losing count (post) ~2.7k words, E, canon compliant

Ed went there to talk. They don’t talk.

⪼ missing S2E6 sex scene!

Out the gates (post) ~2.9k words, E, modern au

The summer is coming to an end, and as Ed and Stede share a morning in bed, Ed realizes that his crush has bloomed into love.

⪼ Throw away the oars 1.5! can be read on its own

Testing the waves (post) 8.1k words, E, modern au, Stede/Ed/Mary

Ed is thrilled when his best friend (with benefits) from college, Mary, gets hired at the hospital where he works. He’s even more thrilled to meet her husband.

⪼ Stede and Mary make an Ed sandwich

Five Hours and a Minute (post) 6666 words, M, modern au, follow-up to Five Birthdays and a Funeral

On New Year's Eve, Stede ponders his relationship to Ed and where he wants it to go. At the very last minute of the year, everything turns around.

⪼ Stede cat-sits Nova for New Year's

Heatwave (post) ~3.4k words, E, modern au

During a heatwave, Ed lounges around in his underwear playing video games until Stede comes home from work.

⪼ roommates with (free use) benefits

Turning a page (post) ~5.3k words, E, modern au

Stede orders a lot of books. Ed delivers them.

⪼ both are just down bad in this one

The next adventure (post) ~3k words, E, modern/70s au, prequel to Who are we saying is captain right now?

Ed shows up to a gangbang set expecting a normal, boring work day, when it turns out they have hired the cutest fluffer he has ever seen.

⪼ Stede sucks Ed's dick within five minutes of meeting him. professionally

#my fics #fic masterpost #ofmd fanfic #ofmd #ida.stuff #another attempt at organizing somewhat #ofmd fic

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amazinglyegg · 3 months

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JAY! JAY! JAY! JAY!

The most basic survivor with the most basic story! Very long ramble about him below the cut (sorry)

Physical appearance

Short, skinny, pale (malnourished vibes)

Part way through his story he loses his eyes from a grenade and gets synth eyes as prosthetics

Has scars all over his body from that incident, as well as the average amount of scars for a wastelander

Always wears long sleeves, usually a white tshirt

Jean jacket over top with some silly little patches!!!

I am terrible at clothes so idk what pants he wears. Vaguely grey probably

Other outfits you'll see him in are any random clothes he needs when going undercover in the railroad (he keeps an outfit in his bag for synths still in their old uniform!) and rarely the Brotherhood flight suit when it's laundry day

Backpack

Big ol' hiking backpack he scavenged in sanctuary, also ties his sleeping bag on the bottom

Food, water, and caps are necessary

Sketchbook and pencil to keep him busy while having to sit around and wait, loves sketching and journalling

Teddy bear! Lovingly named Mr. Cuddlesworth, keeps him tucked away so nothing bad happens to him

Fancy Lads for any synths he comes across, also (not in the picture) a blank box filled with chems for bribing his way out of problems with raiders and the like

Uses his baseball bat, especially before he got comfortable with guns, but occasionally uses Rightous Authority and a combat shotgun

Keeps an extra knife on hand as well as pepper spray and a rape whistle, both of which he kept on his body since pre-war

Stats!

Physically weak but very perceptive - not very high charisma but his perception usually helps him along

High perception means he has very sensetive ears, which can both be useful and a problem (prone to sensory overload!)

His perks aren't based on his SPECIAL at all

Medic - he was trained as a scribe in the Brotherhood of Steel, much more comfortable healing than fighting

Vans - He's practically reliant on his pipboy to keep track of all his quests! It has a detailed map and GPS that can even give directions out loud

Rooted - He's a freeze response type of guy. 100% deer in the headlight vibes

Personality

He's a big ol' scaredy cat!

Trauma from the vault has left him absolutely terrified of enclosed spaces, the dark, and radroaches. Also dislikes loud sounds, the cold, alcohol, and chems

He likes touch and always gives out hugs and handshakes! He also likes the sun (and light), nature, sweets, sleeping, being non-violent, and brahmin

He's a crybaby and will cry at every little thing. Just give him 15 minutes and he'll be fine

He's very naive and trusting, especially starting out. He just blindly goes along with what anyone says, and that becomes an extreme as he tries to cope with how much the world changed

Everything's in ruins now? Okay. There's cows with two heads? Okay. You're going to rob me and steal all my money? Okay... wait.

Always tries to see the best in people and things, and will much rather get shot than risk shooting someone who may not be a danger to him (hey, maybe they're only aiming a gun at him because they misunderstand! We can talk things out!)

Very rarely gets angry or loses his cool - tends to just cry instead. Not too great in the wasteland!

He doesn't like kids (and didn't like Shaun, which he feels guilty about...) despite being so childish and friendly. He gets along with them great! He just... doesn't like them...

Story

Jay has two storylines of sorts, one of my first playthrough and one of my second playthrough that diverges a bit

My first playthrough is a Railroad playthrough

Jay is Shaun's older brother. Their father was a veteran and Sanctuary was a small neighborhood specifically advertised as PTSD/veteran friendly (AKA HOA had a field day with banning fireworks and loud parties, and didn't bother with much else...) - Codsworth was also part of a pack for veterans!

Jay gets some basic survival skills from Preston and the group (after becoming severely ill due to a 200yr old immune system, but whatever) and leaves with Codsworth to Diamond City

He meets Nick and joins the Railroad quickly after! However Codsworth gets pretty beaten up in Vault 114 and after staying with Arturo for a while Jay convinces him to go to Sanctuary where it's safe

At some point Jay runs off on his own to try and collect the last few of Winter's holotapes, which is where he gets cornered by gunners in Quincy and throws a grenade which bounces off the wall and back near his own feet

He was mostly blind and severely injured, and staggers his way back to Railroad HQ (thanks to his high perception + VANS to guide him) where he gets taken to Doctor Amari and gets his synth eyes

He infiltrates the Institute and befriends X6, and also finds out he's a synth after reading a terminal he was told very sternly not to look into

In the same way Shaun is sort of a test for child synths, Jay is a test for teenage synths, as well as to study personality and emotions, and how a synth would grow if they believed to be human

Barely anyone knows this, save for Father and maybe a few other scientists, so Jay keeps it a secret until the Railroad is attacking the place, where he tells Father on his deathbed that he knows the truth

Father tells him that they're not real brothers and he feels nothing for him, and Jay responds by telling Father that he loves him and that their parents would be proud of him before mercy shooting him in the head

He adopts synth Shaun and gets adopted by Nick, making a family of entirely robots (including Codsworth!)

Far Harbor comes after this and stuff happens idk this is getting very long, but DiMA is his uncle!!

The second playthrough, which is forever unfinished, is a Brotherhood playthrough, follows all the main plotpoints above with a few changed details

Instead of immediately leaving to Diamond City after Call to Arms, he and Codsworth stay with Danse and his group with the promise of food, shelter, and in-depth survival and weapon training (he's still relying on his baseball bat at this point despite his horrible strength stat)

Codsworth eventually goes back to Sanctuary (all this fighting stresses him out) and Jay does still find the Railroad and go along with them, but he spends a majority of his time on the Prydwen learning everything he needs to know

Jay's still supportive of synths but is less active in the Railroad, and he finds out he's a synth around a week or two before the events of Blind Betrayal

After Blind Betrayal Jay leaves the Brotherhood and goes for a Minutemen and Railroad ending, where the two factions sort of combine, and a lot of settlers are either rescued synths or helping the Railroad in some way

Danse is also in the Minutemen! Although he's mostly unaware of how involved in the Railroad they are - Jay is trying to ease him into it slowly but it's taking a WHILE to unlearn all that Brotherhood propaganda!

Jay isn't as active in the Railroad in this playthrough, and he's more critical of their ways of doing things. He's a bit more distant with Nick (as Danse sort of takes the roll of surrogate father) but generally the vibes are the same

These two stories somehow both exist equally in my head, so I guess they're both "canon"!

Fun facts!

Jay is a genre of person. Whenever there's an RPG and I can't tell if I should make an OC or pretend to be myself, I make Jay! He also exists in Stardew Valley!

Jay is my middle name, but not on purpose. While getting my name changed my mom offered to include Jay as a middle name (unrelated to my OCs) and I went along with it. Jay had already existed for a while before this!

Jay's original design included a hard hat. I decided it wasn't for him.

Jay disliked Codsworth and Shaun before the war. He was going through an angsty phase and was a bit jealous of not being the only child anymore. He feels very guilty about it now

He can't bring himself to go back to Sanctuary anymore so most of the Minutemen's work is done at the Castle

During The Lost Patrol he finds himself alone at the Revere Satellite Array and trades a bunch of food, water, and caps with the Super Mutants in exchange for Scribe Faris' holotags (and his life). Danse is not happy about this

Despite the fact I never travelled with Curie or Strong in my playthroughs, he's friends with them! He thinks they're pretty chill

The first person he tells about being a Synth is X6, and he asks whether he knew. X6 had no idea.

He doesn't tell Nick for a looong time because of his reaction when DiMA asks if he's a synth. He asks DiMA for advice after the events of Far Harbor before he tells Nick.

[TRIGGER WARNING beyond this point for claustrophobia, suffocation, roaches, PTSD, and suicide] He spent several hours stuck inside the vault, barely able to move or breathe due to having to dethaw in an already cold room. His cryopod couldn't open from the inside and he was slowly suffocating as the seals were air-tight. He had to claw his way through the cushioning to get to some wires that, when broken, finally released the doors.

He was still too weak and pained to move, and the radroaches started swarming him once they sensed fresh meat. They didn't do much damage to him but it was still very traumatizing

The first thing he did as soon as he got out of that room was try and shoot himself with the 10mm. The safety was on and he didn't know how to switch it off, so he gave up

Attempted suicide again a few days later after the power armor from the Museum of Freedom reminded him of the cryo pod and triggered a nasty flashback (plus the general stress of everything), but gets stopped by Codsworth. After retelling this to Captain Cade he finds out that it's not a "normal panic attack" and that he does in fact have PTSD, and that he's not allowed in power armor until he gets his symptoms under control.

#You WILL learn everything about my sole survivor and you WILL enjoy it #i'm writing this at midnight so theres probably so many spelling errors im sorry #this is my attempts at organizing him and his story at least a tiny bit #his story is very malleable and I keep switching it up whenever i get a new plot idea!#anyway ask me questions about him if youd like. i will attempt to answer them...... or make up the answer on the fly idk #fallout 4 #sole survivor oc #my art #oc art #oc jay

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gellavonhamster · 6 months

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If one can set aside, for just a moment, the major objection that Christine de Pizan would have had to Isode’s and Guinevere’s adultery, it is worth observing how they both in fact possess many of the traits she believed made a good queen. Christine advises queens to gain support of powerful people, and both Isode and Guinevere appear to be politically adept, as they secure the support of allies: the barons defend Isode when she drinks from Morgan’s horn, and Guinevere reclaims support after the poisoned apple incident, re-establishing her allies in the roll call that signals her Maying expedition. Christine also promotes charity, and warns princesses not to overindulge in their wealth, one of the main ‘temptacions’ that can plague the rich; while the day-to-day accounting and practical affairs of a queen are rarely, if ever, recorded in romance, Isode demonstrates that she is no slave to wealth when she offers to live with Tristram in poverty, and Guinevere is willing to spend a small fortune on the recovery of Lancelot following his madness. Christine suggests that a sensible queen will ‘tendra discrete maniere meismement vers ceulx que elle saura bien qui ne l’aimeront pas, et qui aront envie sur elle’ [maintain a discreet bearing even towards those who do not like her very much, and who will be jealous of her]. While Christine warns against those who envy queens for their power rather than beauty, her advice might still work as a relevant backdrop for Malory’s two queens, who show no signs of jealousy at all despite being constantly compared to each other by their admirers. The solidarity of women in Le Morte Darthur is also extended between women of different social status: Isode has a good relationship with Brangwain, as well as Guinevere, again adhering to Christine’s advice for ladies, for she stresses the importance of having the favour ‘de tous les estaz de ses subgiez’ [of all the estates/classes of subjects], and, in particular, of ladies in waiting and female companions. While the French Iseut plots against her maid and contemplates killing her at one point, Malory omits this entire episode completely, strengthening my claim that his women may be positioned as much-needed models of civility and empathy for the envy-ridden knights.

— Women of Words in Le Morte Darthur: The Autonomy of Speech in Malory’s Female Characters by Siobhán M. Wyatt

#i might be misremembering but i'm pretty sure the attempt upon brangaine's life is still there?#only it's organized by other servants and not by isolde #anyway *jo march voice* women-#arthuriana #arthurian legends #isolde #guinevere #brangien #brangaine #what was my tag for her ugh #le morte d'arthur #gella talks arthuriana #talk talk talk

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ceaseless-rambler · 1 year

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I just did Jonny d'Ville eyeliner and how the hell did he get his off. I used a pencil which I believe is generally easier to get off than liquid liner (although I could be making that up idk) and it was horrible to remove. I think Jonny's eyeliner looks more like liquid based on the smoothness of the lines and opacity and stuff. How the FUCK

#it wasnt as bad as that weird oil-based skin-safe crayon thing i used for skull makeup on halloween a few years back #never putting that on my face again #that skull makeup was the last time i did anything before this stuff today actually #shocked i managed to make it look even half decent but it actually looked pretty good #i would absolutely recommend doing jonny d'ville eyeliner it made me feel so hot #kinda want to post pictures of that + the vague attempt at a cosplay on here but. posting my face on tumblr #i saw vague attempt because i had to go entirely based on vibes rather than actual appearance #i own one white shirt and it's sleeveless #and i own nothing brown at all #i do have a very good belt though!#i also used a wooden dagger as a gun stand-in cause it captured the vibe better than a nerf gun #which was my only other option #uhhh organization tags now i guess #the mechanisms #jonny d'ville #also probably #ceaseless rambles

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churchoftheconfusedchicken · 1 year

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@mjalti / to be alone, hozier / everything everywhere all at once (2022) / love club, lorde / when you die, areshi / little women (2019) / letter to my rage: an evolution, lidia yuknavitch / cherry wine, hozier

#web weaving #a first attempt #yeah anyway i watch eeaao the other night and it’s been stewing in my brain for 3 days #payton rambles #payton’s poems #payton’s poetry #i forget every time what tag i use #also not technically mine but for the purpose of organizing #mecore

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theshadowrealmitself · 5 months

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Me: Okay, gotta go to sleep so I can wake up early and continue stressing over finals, so I’m gonna think calm scenarios with low stakes to fall asleep to

Me: Like…an older captain having a crush on a younger crewmate that wasn’t even ranked high enough to be on the bridge, so the captain of course never said or did anything about the crush, staying completely professional the entire time, but now they don’t work together anymore

Me: And now the captain is wondering if they should pursue a relationship with them, because they aren’t currently working on the same ship anymore, but the captain is still ranked higher then them overall, and then there’s the issue with the age gap, it’s not really a big one, but it’s still There™️

Me: And several other crewmembers have joked about seeing the captain as a parent figure because they act so professional and competent and dependable and stuff that it just makes the captain come across as way older and oh god what if the crewmate is just horrified to find out the captain has a crush on them??

Me: And they’re wondering if they should just not pursue anything, especially since the crewmate has recently accepted to go on a date with another person, but they also kinda don’t wanna give up because getting to hang out with that crewmate more in non-work settings (cause most of the crew stayed in contact and constantly meet up to hang out) has made their infatuation grow, so they quietly and indecisively pine

My brain, for some goddamn reason: Mhm, and then, it turns out that person the crewmate agreed to go on a date with, is actually a huge creep trying to stalk their poor ex using the crewmate as a coverup (claiming to innocently be on a date, totally unknowing the ex would be there (lies)), so not only is the date really crappy, but because this creep isn’t actually listening to what the crewmate is saying, they tune them out about their deadly allergies

Brain: And then to seem like a good date to keep the coverup going, they stop by a flower shop (still stalking their ex, the crewmate isn’t aware of that, but is aware this date sucks and is trying to think of how to politely leave) rushes in, and then comes out and shoves a bouquet into the crewmate’s face as a “thoughtful” gift, and it’s the flowers they just mentioned being extremely allergic to-

#no fandom #humans #surprisingly no one mentioned in this post is an alien #there is some but they’re side characters #wasn’t sure how one of them (like maybe the captain) being an alien would add to the dynamic #was thinking about it but I was like ‘what kind of alien would even fit with them?’#anyways #my stupid fucking brain. that isn’t low stakes. I’m trying to SLEEP #conversations between me and my brain #still not sure what the age gap should actually be #not something huge especially since I’m imagining the crewmate as 23 #but enough where it does feel a bit like a gap and may make a power imbalance seem bigger #if you wanna know what happens with the flower stuff #my brain has decided that because the stalking creep is also an officer of the organization #that the situation gets pushed to the higher ups and now it’s like a court case where the crewmate is like:#’this was obviously an attempt on my life!! I just said this flower would kill me check the tapes from that area!!’#and the stalking creep is stuck trying to figure out how to defend themselves without mentioning that their focus was on their ex #because they’re a creep #hmmm I think they should get hit with a space restraining order at minimum and can’t be anywhere in the area #which helps out the poor ex who’s blissfully unaware of this and now doesn’t have to worry about this creep anymore

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deathmycotime · 7 months

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oh i just realised that im really starting to miss koisenu futari again

#i keep wanting to rewatch and then i keep forgetting and stopping halfway #also i realised how much i wanted to read something about it but there are barely any fics on ao3 #i have a few ideas so like once i finally understand the characters are i'll try attempting to write.....#scary but i guess it couldn't be worse than things i've already written before #it's just those times when i meet someone who is allo that my feelings of aromanticism/asexuality become apparent #like sometimes i dont feel to a certain identity and then someone irl says something love romance related #and i am reminded that 'oh yea i am aspec. i am queer these people would think i am weird huh'#koisenu futari #uuuuhm. organization tags. i don't have any here

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shevr · 6 months

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ur telling me there was "the lonely freaks of tumblr have never been to the club' discourse right in the wake of my pathetic failed attempt to go to a thing like that. targeted & mean

#i had a. very brief attempt to goto a halloween event thing #organized by the trans asso that does those afternoon hangouts i've been trying to go to (and very awkward at)#turns out it was extremely foolish to think i could have a fun time when i still hadnt managed to make a single friend there #got in instantly felt awkward and out of place suffered one count of getting a weird look like the 'u said smthng cringe at the party' meme #that i will think about for a week or two #and ran out barely 10 minutes after gettin there #ridiculous unredeemable scared beast #anyway thats my thursday prorcrastinating on work rant. bye im sorry for being so bad at all this #shevr

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ghostlyheart · 8 months

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I never expected this to be the season that really highlighted Nadja and Guillermo's friendship but I'm so happy it was. Them physically protecting each other was amazing, but in the last few episodes of the season she really goes out of her way to defend him from both the Baron and Nandor even though she disagrees with his choice. That scene of them in the motel together is short, but it says so much. She gives him the lecture about protecting his sire not for Derek's sake but because she's worried about Guillermo and she's trying to give him some of the important vampiric lessons that he's missed out on because his turning was abnormal. I wish we had gotten to see the rest of their conversation play out before she left because it seemed like she was empathizing with him about how complicated relationships can be once you turn into a vampire and learning to accept those consequences. She takes on an almost big-sister-like role with Guillermo where she acts annoyed but also secretly cares very deeply and is trying to help him learn from her own experiences.

The entire household has grown closer to Guillermo this season, but for me his and Nadja's relationship is special because I feel like she's the one who has held him at arms length for the longest. Last season, their dynamic changed because he became the nightclub's accountant, but in situations where she helped him, she always fell back on the excuse that it was in her own self-interest. She could have abandoned Guillermo at urgent care, told Nandor his secret in order to minimize the fallout for herself, not gone to visit Guillermo or advocate for him to Nandor, etc., but now she puts herself in those risky situations because she cares.

Woven through this season there are bits and pieces about her early life and how her turning ended up being kind of a traumatic experience. She mentioned last season that she watched most of her family die (and at another point that she was the only one of her siblings to survive). In "Local News" and "Hybrid Creatures" she talks about being forced to leave Antipaxos and the only place she ever really felt at home. The fact that she was so desperate to escape when they thought they were exposed on the news, even if that meant going without the others, speaks to her being afraid of leaving herself vulnerable. Unlike Laszlo, she also doesn't seem to have many connections outside of her housemates until she begins visiting with the Antipaxos family. I think all that amounts to her being wary of trusting people or letting in others outside her relatively small circle because she's experienced the danger of getting too attached. It's taken her over a DECADE to warm up to Guillermo, but as she becomes comfortable reconnecting with her culture and her human past with the Antipaxons, it makes sense that she would start to let her guard down with him as well. I think Laszlo's comment in the finale about vampires having a difficult time expressing their emotions externally ties in well with this. Nadja is a very expressive person, but when it comes to displaying her emotional closeness with others, it comes across a lot more subtlely. Nadja's arc didn't have the clearest throughline this season, and the hex plot itself didn't really spur much development from her, but I feel like it ultimately led to moments that demonstrate how she forms relationships and the ways in which that's informed by her past.

#wwdits s5 spoilers #nadja of antipaxos #I haven't really organized all my Nadja Thoughts about this season yet so this is my attempt #i love her so much. have i mentioned that i love her so much?#this might be nonsense im so tired and i have to work in the morning and ughhhh. but i cant go to bed without getting this out of my brain #this turned out to be kind of a lot asjkds. there's just sooo much i want to say about her even though it's probably not in the smartest wa #idk im just trying to take allllll we've learned about her over the seasons and knit it into a coherent image in my head

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