#monstera fucker
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Our first Grinding Pad and our first Wash Pour have been successful ✨
It's getting closer to release, we just need to work on the strapping.
We went with a 25mm strapping and a higher tensile strength than was needed because this brand of strapping felt smoother on the skin, very similar to a seatbelt 🤔
#fauxphallus#siliconesculpture#indietc#australianmade#bodysafe#spicy silicone#adulttoys#fantasysextoys#fantasytoy#mature#grinder#monstera fucker
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Get you a giant demon that calls you beautiful after you ugly cry and get snot on his shirt.
Get you a giant demon that falls deeper in love with you every time you open up.
#mermaidwips#monsterboy#monsterboyfriend#monsterlover#monsterfucker#monster fucker#monstera#demons#monster boyfriend#monster lover#romance#wip#he's such a simp for his girl#witchwip
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ok i know no one gives a shit about my plant hoarding tendencies but listen. LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. today my mom and i swung by my aunt's and there was this MAGNIFICENT Monstera Adansonii there in the neighbor's front yard. so naturally, i stole these cuttings and took them home 😎 be gay do crime kids
#my shitposts#this fucker better not disappoint me like my last monstera#i have high hopes for this baby it better not fuck up#be gay do crimes
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the temptation to just throw a plant when it does even the smallest bitchy act
#christalks#sigh#I've had my wandering jew since june and now it's getting all droopy and yellow like WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME#little fucker knows the house inspection is coming up and wants to look neglected#that one and one of the pothos are tag teaming#everyone else is fine I think I'm just being really paranoid about the monstera cause I've never had one before#excuse me while I go sit in the corner and bang my head against the wall
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My monstera obliqua and I like to play a game called “Leaf or Runner” where I guess whether the new node is going to be a leaf or a runner.
So far this node is looking like it might give me a leaf. But this fucker likes to get my hopes up and then laugh at me when it continues to run.
#monstera obliqua#my plants#please grow a leaf#monstera#plant blog#plantblr#houseplants#plants#rare plants
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you know with how emotional Link got about his tattoo I think it might have something to do with his coming out. And also Rhett tried to (or did) stop him from finishing.
I hadn't watched the MS video where he had originally explained the meaning of the tattoo but now by redoing it in GME he did say the tattoo symbolises his family. The idea was his, he said, but he took Christy's advice for it, because she is the plant expert.
The monstera is also known as cheese plant. This must symbolize Christy who loves cheese so much. Then there's a prayer plant - a begonia and palm, these must symbolize his children or the home in general. They are houseplants they have at home. And in between them, a hummingbird, him. A tiny, fragile, melodic bird (although with an attitude, you know). Very fast, it's here and it's gone at the glimpse of an eye but it feeds off the nectar of such tropical plants.
It is a tribute to his family. Whatever else happens, it doesn't mean he doesn't love his children to bits, and his wife, they have shared 25 years of domesticity, and if anything changes in the future, it wouldn't be her fault. Link loves and feels grateful for all of them.
He's tattooing all his favourite beings that are a huge part of his life. Lily, the whole family, Jade...
Can I also say how much of a fucker tab021 or whatever was? I have a nasty experience where I have been the "tab021" to somebody else. I mocked somebody's tattoo, which was stupid because it wasn't even an ugly tattoo, it was quite nice, so why did I even do it? I mostly teased him about it but in a somewhat bad way. And then he told me it was about his deceased mother. And here's me still feeling like shit 12 years later. Don't mock tattoos - they more often than not bear significant meanings.
And similarly to that case with me, Link's tattoo is actually very pretty and nicely done and it is definitely not the work of an amateur like this crapper was saying.
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trips and falls and a bunch of blaseball rarepairs including brisket friendo/lorcan smaht and hank marshallow/stevenson monstera and shaq torres/edric tosser and derrick krueger/seb telephone fall out of my jacket pockets
Oh okay we’re in for a long one
Brisket and Lorcan - tbh I don’t know much about Lorcan or the Cat Lady Brisket interp but I love it anyways. I wish I had more to say on this (and some of the other ones on this list) but I am a diehard mill and I do not know many crabs or garages
Hank and Monstera - oh I know about Hank, not much about Stevenson. Hank gives me perpetually tired “every day I wake up against my fucking will” energy so him being in a relationship is so cute. HOLD ON I JUST WIKI’D STEVENSON OH BOY THIS WAS BEFORE ALL THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OKAY. Sometimes you visit your brother in Seattle and find his swamp monster bandmate hot. Sometimes you are both the monster and the monster fucker and that’s absolutely fine and normal. Keep on going you funky creatures. Oh wait Steve’s dead
Shaq and Edric - SHAQ AND EDRIC….ough. I had to rewrite this one because I misread “Edric” as “Declan” and made a two guys chillin in a hot tub joke but the guys were gamers. ANYWAYS. Edric “I Will Never Be Over That Time I Threw A Ground Out Even Though That Wasn’t Me” Tosser and Shaq “Happy Go Lucky Gamer” Torres. If we’re going with the AU where Shaq somehow comes out of discipline alive then we got a guy perpetually trying to figure out his identity and his relationship with it also trying to deal with his really cool boyfriend who has really bad nightmares about dying and claims that he should’ve died a long time ago. These two are awful for eachother but they just want to be there for one another. I am now rotating this in my head so much
Derrick and Seb - OUGH……two guys trying to be Normal even though they live in the shadow of people they cannot help but love/admire. Seb remembers Derrick as much as he can until Seb dies and when he’s dead the fondest memories anyone has of a man that the league + fans would rather forget dies with him. Derrick eventually gets a memorial but Seb’s personhood is lost in the fact that he now has the epithet “Twice Killed” on top of “Jessica’s Brother”. That’s all he is now, and there’s no one who really truly knew him around to make sure that he can be known beyond that. Sorry for the angst bestie I had to.
Anyways all of these are good thank you so much for your blorbo posting
#woosh answers#charanablescanontoyota#blaseball#brisket friendo#lorcan smaht#henry marshmallow#Stevenson monstera#shaquille torres#edric tosser#sebastian telephone#derrick kreuger#dude your MIND. absolutely amazing#I can also tell how many teams you double on KSNDKWNWKWNWKWHE#anyways I’m now rotating all of these
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first off imm rant about how my monstera deliciosa continuing to have the scale infestation is annoying the hell outta me!!! like how much hydrogen peroxide and neem oil do I gotta use to kill all you lil fuckers!! 😤😤😤
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me: "all living beings are valuable and should be treated with respect"
mealybugs: 😁
me:
#if you even LOOK at my monstera i will stomp you to death with my alcohol soaked q tip#i may be vegan but i hate those fuckers#houseplants#plants
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i get what u mean with ur plants too!! if i can actually organize myself 4 it i've been dying 2 take care of plants again, i want to try w an aloe vera first. what plants do u have :0c? - 🍈
aaaa i can't wait until you do! aloe vera is a nice plant to take care of hehe.
whew this is going to be,,, quite the exhaustive list. going from favorite to least favorite under the cut (although i love all my plants):
01. calathea warscewiczii (velvet calathea) - i've only had her for two days but if anything happened to her i would kill everyone in this room and then myself. half jokes aside, the leaves of this plants are sooo velvety, i can't get enough. my absolute favorite, i pick favorites and she is one of them
02. scindapsus pictus argyraeus (satin pothos) aka Argent - my BABY. beautiful (especially with that silver speckled pattern hhh), grows quickly even during the wintertime, easy to take care of. she has it all 🥰 even spider mites (i think)
03. monstera adansonii (swiss cheese vine) aka Hoothoot v2- she lookin a little scraggly right now but i love her (@animatedarchives iykyk)
04. ficus tineke (variegated rubber tree) aka Rococo - the thing is lowkey giving me stress but the variegation on her leaves is beautiful so she gets a pass 🥰
05. peperomia 'bamboo stalks' - the cutest 🥺 thing 🥺 it looks like lil mini bamboo, i can't wait until the baby grows more hehe
06. senecio rowleyanus (string of pearls) - again, another really cute plant that i can't wait to see grow, especially from a hanging basket 😌 just looks like bubbles in a pot and i can't get enough
07. calathea 'white fusion' aka Zephyr - kind of a brat but the pretty leaves make it worth it. i am trying so hard, SO HARD, to keep this mf alive. hopefully the higher humidity in the greenhouse cabinet will help, especially once i have the fans and humidifier going in there.
08. tradescantia nanouk - i've been wanting one of the other species (tradescantia fluminensis) for a while and while this may not be the one i initially wanted, she still cute 🥰
09. oxalis triangularis - this one looks like butterflies tbh. enough said, 11/10 (fun fact, the wood sorrel is also bokuto's birth flower 🥰)
10. peperomia 'silver ripple' - okay lowkey i'm still not sure how to take care of her but i heard they were kinda bratty so- wish me luck (hella pretty tho)
11. dischidia ruscifolia variegata (variegated million hearts) - it's,,, so teeny n cute, and when fully grown it looks super lush so i'm excited for my little baby cuttings to grow hehe
12. calathea 'medallion' - cute and i rescued her from costco for the low price of $15. cute but probably has spider mites so i'm lowkey too scared to touch it-
13. philodendron brasil - the variegation is fun to look at, easy to take care of and also fast growing. kinda basic but i love her for it 😌
14. marble queen pothos aka Medusa - stunning variegation, thankfully not a brat
15. njoy pothos aka Baby Ace (@ soph 👀) - the thing looks PAINTED. so so pretty but i've been lowkey neglecting it bc the soil got mold from being so damp and i got grossed out- still need to repot her into a better draining pot
16. golden pothos aka Khrysos - basic houseplant, hella hard to kill, and the variegation is cute. can't wait for it to start vining and look super lush
18. african violet aka Chloris - lowkey i impulse bought this because of it's variegation but have no idea how to take care of it- she's doing pretty okay tho!!
19. variegated creeping fig - kinda neutral about this one since she's been giving me nothing so far in the time i've had her. all in due patience though, esp since it's winter + probably does better in higher humidity
20. hypoestes phyllostachia 'white splash' (white polka dot plant) aka Khione - look if i could give up on this bitch i would. girl has been doing nothing but losing her variegation and dropping leaves. trying to save her though bc i would feel bad tossing her out so fingers crossed ;;
21. hedera helix 'harlequin' (ivy) aka Thalia - she was my favorite until she got absolutely infested with spider mites and spread it to a few of my other plants. this is why i'm traumatized by the little fuckers. my mom threw a fit bc i quarantined her to the bathroom and thought i was neglecting it, so it's been moved to the outdoor garden. have fun with the spider mites, ma 😐
#kelley's garden#garden regulars#🍈anon#here's the list that one (1) person asked for#and i took the opportunity and ran with it 🥰#don't ask me for my list of wishlist plants bc hoo boy#tbh this list made me realize that i haven't had the time to name my other plants
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We just wanted to keep you all updated on the progress for this big beautiful design.
We're also working on the Extra Large Lilac V-Plug that's also up to this stage as well.
We'll be glad when these are done and can get going on the smaller Monstera.😅
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//my monstera just decides to unfurl a huge leaf over night like huh bitch fucker energy
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arimwe replied to your post: dracanea replied to your post: ...
That should work, it works with my strawberry plant and those fuckers grow like crazy too
FUCK. i still need to get one of those. i was gonna get more pots today (which was legit the only reason i went to the store) and walked away with 1 pot with drainage.......cup? and mr “got my dick out” root.
then again i was also super super tempted to buy the little olive tree i saw in the store....and i want a fig tree as well...and i want one of those other monsteras with the “whole” leaves with many holes in it. and i want a tiny kumquat plant. and i want a pothos, or like three. and a dracaena. and a yucca, i saw them being sold at the grocery store a lil while back. and i want a caladium. and i want a coleus.
im running out of room real fast. windowsills could fit like...4 more plants that aint too big (and i might need to switch my begonia to a different place soon because its getting too big) and i can fit like...1 more plant on my table but itd have to be a shade loving one
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Look at these busy body fuckers throwing out new leaves all willy nilly, don’t they know it’s AUTUMN . . . #obovata #monsteraadansonii #monstera #pothos #scindapsusexotica #indoorplants #houseplants #urbanjungle #urbangarden #satinpothos #plantedparenthood
#monstera#plantedparenthood#urbanjungle#pothos#indoorplants#houseplants#urbangarden#scindapsusexotica#satinpothos#monsteraadansonii#obovata
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Pulling our new Monstera Grinder pad from it's mold. This one's available in the store atm, but if you'd like to choose different colours our custom listings are always open.
#fauxphallus#siliconesculpture#indietc#australianmade#bodysafe#spicy silicone#adulttoys#fantasysextoys#fantasytoy#monstera fucker
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Staring into the abyss that is the Monstera mold 👀
Looks like we have a working mold, now to give it a washout and measure how much water it'll take to fill it so we can work out a price for it 😬 it'll take up a lot of silicone so fair warning it's going to be up there.
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