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mezalian king joel will literally wake up in an unknown location with nothing familiar in sight and none of the people he knew being the same and be like “is anyone gonna add moss to this meza tho” then doesn’t wait for an answer

would you draw an esmp 1 joel?

One slutty, slutty sculptor, coming right up!

He’s admiring his handiwork

Who's seen Joel's latest short?

Competing with Lizzie to find the coolest thing in Minecraft in five minutes

Joel finds a heart of the sea

Lizzie crafts orange glazed terracotta

Did they try to give me empires season one feels? Unclear

Did they succeed? Definitely

Jimmy: “So these are the summer homes I built, then this is one Sausage built, and this is one that some guy who called himself the “Mezalian King” built-“

Pixelriffs, an A class nerd: “I’M SORRY IT WAS BUILT BY THE WHO-“

Do people know how hard it is to survive the apocalypse? No really, do they? Because Joel really, really rather thinks they don't.

"The Mezalian King is dead guys," he says to nothing in particular. The universe. The sky. Everything. "Get over it."

It was the apocalypse. The world ended, and also his heart was broken, and he lost everything. The Mezalian King, that is. He lost all that. Joel didn’t.

Do people know how hard it is to survive that, though? All the empires fell, everyone died, the end. That's how the apocalypse works. The oceans dried. The fields burned. People escaped, or they didn't. It was the end of the world.

Do people realize?

It's hard to survive the end of the world. It takes a lot of effort. You’re starting from nothing. Less than nothing, really. The sky falls on your head and you dig your way out of it just to realize, wait, everything’s gone? A lot more people die in the aftermath than the explosion. A meteor falling only strikes a single town. The shock wave shakes the earth for a few miles out of it. But that’s not all the damage it does, is it? What happens to everyone who relied on that town for trade goods? You can’t gather food, idiot, the one city that wove good baskets and made good tools is gone! That river you fished in has been so diverted by the mudslide from the shock wave, it doesn’t even give you water anymore.

(This is a metaphor. The end of the world wasn’t a meteor. It was two friends finally admitting they were friends. The effect was the same, though, in the end. Now there are no friends, because everyone is dead. Or gone. Or wish they were. Anyway, back to the metaphor.)

All the water is gone. Now you’re walking ten, twenty, thirty miles to find some in the low places of the world. What happens to all the people who can’t walk, climb, delve? What happens to all the people that can? Surrounded by monsters, and other desperate people willing to do anything to save their own, and you’re not their own anymore. What happens to the King, looking out at his shore, wondering how he’s going to provide for an entire blooming desert when water has decided because of some stupid prophesy it doesn’t exist anymore? He tries his best to rule, but he has nothing. You can’t give someone gold to heal a wound. There’s no apples to guild, all the trees are dead. Terracotta does a great job of getting in your eyes, your mouth, your blood, and stinging everything when it’s crushed to powder. All those alliances you made to fill the gaps your country couldn’t, well, they’re gone. Even the clothes off your back can only go so far.

It takes a lot to survive the end of the world. You rally your people. You inspire them with your stubborn grit, your insistence the world isn’t ending because you’re here! Obviously if we were all going to die, we’d be dead. Plot armor. He’s the Mezalian King. He doesn’t die, and if he does, he comes back. He comes back again and again. Don’t worry I don’t need food, I can, in fact, starve. I don’t need water. I can thirst. I don’t need medicine. I don’t need anything. Give it to someone else. Please, please, give it to someone else.

Can’t you see I’m fine? Take care of your bloomin’ self for goodness sake!

That’s... probably what the Mezalian King said. Joel wouldn’t know. He’s not him.

Anyway it doesn’t matter. The Mezalian King is dead. His heart was broken. His kingdom was in ruins. The world ended. He begged his people to stand together, to care for each other, to walk and keep walking. They fled their burning world to other Empires in similar shambles. They walked. They kept walking. They talked about their King who couldn’t die. How could he? if he died, they wouldn’t be a kingdom anymore. They wouldn’t be a people. So he’s alive. He’s walking with them. He’s insisting they keep moving. Fetch water. Make food. Build shelter. Live. Survive. Thrive.

He’s not a King anymore. He’s an idea. The King is wrathful. If you don’t pull your weight, he will haunt you. The King is sacrificial. We have plenty because he refuses to eat. The King’s heart is broken, so his people aren’t. The Mezalian King is dead. But he’s still here. They build statues of what he looked like, and those fall to dust. They build houses in colors as close to terracotta as they can. Those fall to dust as well. They don’t call themselves Mezalian anymore, but they remember him. It’s been years. Decades. Centuries. Eons. The world is unrecognizable. It’s gods, however, are.

"The Mezalian King is dead guys," Joel, a god of sky and thunder, says to nothing in particular. The universe. The sky. Everything. "Get over it."

It takes a lot to survive the end of the world.

hihihi may i request the mezalian king plz? for art btw :)

Little man (affectionate)

S1 esmp codlands world building headcanon

The cod lands value their alliances and are known to take inspiration from other cultures its not as though they don’t have any original traditions but a good few of them are a direct result of them putting their own spin on foreign cultures and imports from all over the world 

The most well known example is the cod folks famous wood carvings the story goes a long time ago there was a young codish traveler who had stopped to stay the night in a mezalian inn while wondering the streets he could not help but admire the buildings he loved how symmetrical and perfectly placed the tiles were and it stuck with him 

when he returned home he tried to recreate what he saw but he didn’t have the materials needed for it and he realized very quickly that he should have asked how it was made when he was there but hindsight is twenty twenty and he still wanted to try so he decided to ditch the colors and clay he focused on his favorite part 

He went out side and picked up some tree bark he got a knife and scratched the same patterns the tiles were laid out in mezalia on the wood but smaller it was mess but he liked so he kept doing it when ever he got home from his travels he would sit down and carve patterns into the wood as time went on his work got neater and thought it was not as colorful as the tiles they were based on they focused more on little details they became beautiful and when he got old and settled down he started selling his work in the market soon enough it caught on and more people started carving wood for art rather than for utensils and weapons 

Lots of Time has passed since then and along the way it even picked up some religious significance when children reached a certain age they carve a special bead to mark the day they took the oath to protect all cod it’s like a baptism or bat/bar mitzvah there guardian weaves the child a necklace to put the bead on and from then on when ever something significant happens they make another bead to put on the necklace but they only wear it for special occasions these things are so important to a person they never wear them casually and are heavy protected when someone dies they’re beads are hung in a mini cemetery that each family has because you can’t bury someone in a muddy swamp like you could in a dirt field 

The cod father head is very special because when ever a cod father is introduced they create a bead but it doesn’t go on their necklace it goes on the cod father head alongside the beads of the past cod fathers unlike necklaces that are only worn sparingly the cod father head is to be worn every day to symbolize the cod fathers never ending responsibility to protect the legacy of the cod empire a constant reminder of the past present and future generations the cod fathers have to maintain it’s a lot of pressure and needless to say if a cod father were to loose the head or cod forbid have it be destroyed while in their hands well that would be blasphemy 

but in the present long after the man died the art style he fathered keeps evolving with every new artist it gets further away from the tiles and became it’s own thing a art style that is unmistakably a art unique to the cod lands

What if the ocean queen’s last move before forgetting everything was to pass on her godhood to the Mezalian King

Boom

God Joel

Empires season one references in season two go brrr

(I’m literally going to end up having watched everyone’s perspective gahsjjzhsj)

1. Lizzie not being able to control axolotls

2. Shelby putting spirits in her old villiagers

3. The portal to shrubs home land

4. The whole mezalian king appearance

5. Jimmy adding cod to his pond

6. Sausages whole season

My head canon for crystal cliffs is that it is notorious for being the empire with the worst food 

It is a school and the closest thing they have to a government is the school board and gem

There food is close to what would be served in a school cafeteria because they focus on studying and teaching they like food that is easy to make and cheap to produce 

The students and teachers are forced to get creative and try to find ways to make it more palatable 

They use spell’s to artificially flavor the food or use spells on themselves to change the way their taste buds perceive the taste 

The food is not natural and the while edible the taste is off and noticeably different from what it is trying to emulate ( like how banana flavored candy tastes different from bananas)

One good thing that comes out of this situation is that they are also known for their food lasting years and being well preserved 

They have very manufactured products just like the grimland s which makes sense because most of the students are from the grimland

Ps how are you doing

I'm good, haha! I tend to always hit a bit of a slump come summer, but I'm bouncing back c:

I like this headcanon, the nation full of scholars living on broke college student diets. Why would you take the time to cook a complex meal while in the middle of solving the complex runic sigil pattern that's been tormenting you for weeks now? Instant noodles cook in three minutes, especially when you can magic the water to its boiling point and prestidigitation in any flavor you like.

Adding onto this though, the Crystal Cliffs must have some incredible street foods going on. Tons of people probably visit to either study or to request magical aid, and these visits would not be short lived. There is an incredible market here for quick, convenient, hot food as busy students bustle between classes or leave their dorms for the fifteen minutes of sunlight they'll see that day. On every CC street corner you'll find carts setting Mezalian samosas stuffed with colorful greens and tubers, Mythland smoked blood-mutton kebabs, and Pixandrian honey-coffees brewed in fine sand. The most common of these are the Gilded Helianthian food stands, which tend to sell anything and everything that can be made with in-season ingredients.

Can we talk about the line “You are a toy. Toys don't have rights. You don't have rights.” cuz that fits in really well with my own Jimmy headcanons. 

I like to think that Jimmy is a construct like a golem or a doll made of clay. Kinda like how there was that s1 Joel being a clay doll headcanon. (ngl I have no idea how common that was. I just saw it and thought it was neat) Maybe Jimmy is a descendant of some Mezalian people who are made of clay and wanted to make Tumble town in a mesa to honor his ancestors!

Anyways back to the point Jimmy is a construct of a kind and being called a toy would be really demeaning since it implies that he is just a thing to play with. Maybe Jimmy has had an encounter where he got fucked over because someone thought that he is just a toy and shouldn't be treated like a person. So now he is the sheriff. He is the law. So people have to respect him as his own person right? He has the power to protect himself and make sure that he and people like him have rights and are protected by law. And if someone disrespects him then he can arrest them and make sure he doesn’t get hurt again.

So Joel calling Jimmy a toy over and over again would understandably make Jimmy annoyed and agitated. He is not a toy, but he is still lying about being a human because who knows what Joel would do if he found out what Jimmy really is. Especially now that things are escalating between the two. Especially after Joel said in no uncertain terms that “toys have no rights.”

In keeping with s1, I love seeing Mezalian King Joel show up and promptly flip lore the finger. We stan consistent characterization

I like to think that a lot of the smaller doorways in the Mezalian Matral Palace are covered by curtains rather than actual doors. My reasoning? Mezalian king Joel is super autistic and (definitely not projecting here) often walks into the actual doors or doesn’t open them far enough to carry anything through, whereas curtains he can just kinda walk through, and the feeling of doing so is nice. Also he likes the way they billow around and likes to draw them.

(Walking between curtains or having them blow on you is really fun for me idk why. Autism moment👍)

(Also they remind him of the Ocean Kingdom! Many of the doorways there are either open or covered by curtains, because doors don’t really work underwater! There are kelp and seaweed curtains underwater :D )

S2 Joel is just S1 Joel in denial and trying to achieve god-hood so he can be reunited with his wife again. The whole ‘mezalian king is dead’ spiel is actually him trying to convince himself.

Oh my gld that. Ow

What if the Mezalian King we saw in the new episode was the Joel from whatever parallel universe bs Scott Smajor made during the s1 finale-