now i know his (back) pain

Oh look its a new friend

a quick grusha✨

telling myself i can't start another tdwt rewrite but dear god do i want to write one focusing on alejandro and courtney in this weird situationship thats a lot more nuanced than just alejandro manipulating courtney and her falling for it. like theyre best friends they dont trust each other theyre the same person they dont know anything about the other one theres a mutual attraction theyre pining for other people theyre codependent they dont care about each other theyre platonic soulmates like i just want to do a deep dive into how messy that relationship couldve been building off of their friendship that exists in my head except the line between romantic and platonic is so fucking blurred they have no idea what they are to the other person

I have no idea why but I imagine Anton as a big guy

unleashes the horrors upon you (the horrors are my gay little ocs)

i make him sexier 👍

so like. does grizz know about the cats...or

My enrichment of the month thanks

A series of quick studies I did earlier this morning of Katjya! I’ve always found sketching traditionally to be WAY easier and much faster than my digital process tbh, I’m pretty happy with these 🥺💙

Maybe I’ll even finish these digitally. Thoughts? 🎤

[SHE/HE/THEY]

What's interesting about witnessing the shift in Tom and Shiv's relationship, is that for the first 3 seasons Shiv got to live in comfort of being her father in the relationship. She was in control. She was the emotionally detached one, keeping Tom at a distance from her inner vulnerable self like her father does to her and her siblings, despite Tom always appealing to that side of her, bearing himself and wanting that intimacy. She held all the power, and in holding all the power she felt secure that she wasn't going to be screwed over (like her dad did to her mum) and abandoned (like she felt her mum did to her). She could escape the fucked up divorce her parents had by being the embodiment of power (her father),,, which, like a lot of children of a messy divorce, she wanted to avoid such a thing for herself at all cost, and pride herself on her marriage and choice of partner instead of getting help for the trauma and damage she'd carried since childhood. Shiv was safe. She was secure. Like her dad, she had her own dog to kick to test its loyalty and feel secure and reassured every time that dog came back to her side.

But then the dog did bite back. Tom did betray her. The man she viewed as beneath her, all worshipping, and in her eyes nowhere near as smart as her, outplayed her and betrayed her and won over the approval of the very man that she'd been emulating. And now she's not her father. She's the last person she ever wanted to be. She's her mother. She's the one on the receiving end of Logan through Tom, making the divorce messy and difficult and painful by using the same tactics he did with her mother, something that gets to her easily and makes her extremely upset to the point where she's verging on tears. Tom is the one at Waystar + ATN. Tom is the one saying "uh huh." To her.

She thought that she could escape her mother's fate by being her father. By being cold and distant and emotionally closed off. By being the one who kicked the dog. She let her trauma and fears rule and guide her into making decisions and behaving in harmful ways (to Tom and herself) that she thought would protect her and never let her be hurt. And none of it worked. Because despite it all, she became her mother.

[Image Description: A digital painting depicting Feldspar standing to the right of a campfire, facing away from the viewer and upwards. They are holding an arm outstretched above them and the other gesticulates as if they were telling a story. Several fireflies surround them and their shadow falls to their right. Wreathed in the smoke of the campfire is a scene of their campsite in Dark Bramble. Three large twisting brambles, the anglerfish fossil’s teeth, and three pine trees are suspended upside down, stretching downwards toward Feldspar and the campfire. A plume of stylized curling smoke stretches across the top of the scene from Feldspar’s ship in the top right corner. The ship is sparking with electrical failure. End Image Description.]

my piece for the @travelers-encore-zine !!!  I think this came out a bit more conceptual than I wanted but I still like it!

Thank you to the mods for making this happen, putting everything together and being an amazing support team!!! Thank you to my fellow contributors for being so lovely and making such amazing things and sharing this project with me, I'm really happy I got to be a part of it!!

more stuff from the skyblock fanfic that lives in my head rent free (the fic does not exist)

hmm good morning! all of these eyes emoji asks have got me doing a lot of npc work (yippee!!!) so one of my favorite early and also one of my silliest headcanons is andie and peter's relationship!

if you're not familiar with comics peter parker then one thing you need to know is that this man literally somehow actually has so much game like he's dated everyone and slept with twice that. so if we're throwing another female spider around his age into the mix well then..... let's just hope dan slott doesn't get his hands on her! but knowing what i know abt comics it's inevitable that they date. anyway andie and may are dear friends and coworkers at FEAST. and my may is an old jewish woman which means she is nudgey, always trying to feed andie, and always trying to set her up with her nephew who is a "nice jewish boy. he's studying to be a scientist" (there's also just lots of regular talking about peter.) peter and andie meet through may/FEAST before learning each others' identities. there's a little bit of an awkward "so is your aunt also trying to set you up with me or am i the only one hearing about this?" and an "uh yeah, uh. yeah. sorry about that!" and that's mostly that.

but it's may and it's comics so eventually for her sake and because they're both lonely they do very briefly have an i can't even call it a relationship they have a situationship that basically consists of them going on a date to appease may and then like pathetically trying to date while mutually being in (what they believe to be) unrequited love with other people. they're very chill and it ends quite normally because their lives are too weird for it not to and also mostly they were just lonely friends pretending it was something more. 👍

kind of horrifying but also freeing how with enough time to let it simmer you can come to accept anything