write hard and clear,

about what hurts.

🎤 next song is dedicated to @jeongtokkie

on love and hope in the universe, even through all the destruction

II ZW 96 galaxy collision // The Beatrice Letters - Lemony Snicket // the galaxy NGC 3256 - a wreckage after a cosmic collision // What My Bones Know - Stephanie Foo // light from a burst of star birth after a collision between galaxies // me about you // IC 1623 - two galaxies colliding // Abstract (Psychopomp) - Hozier // a pair of actively forming stars - Herbig-Haro 46/47 // Undertale

what color pallet do you use for Swap Grillby

had to throw this together on the spot since I don't keep most of my palettes organised, but here's the colours I use for him!

I realise the fire colours aren't much help as is, so here's a very rushed guide on how I use those colours (using paint tool SAI btw):

(since I draw his fire lineless, the dark orange line colour is only used for his eyebrows)

a couple details not shown here:

I usually put a faint orange overlay on him to make everything slightly warmer, but the colours I use for those aren't consistent between art pieces

I forgot to include shading his glasses but I use the same flat colour on a luminosity layer to give them a little shine ✨

there aren't any highlight colours in the palette bc these days I tend to just use a very low opacity luminosity layer rather than pick out individual lighter colours for highlights

anyway hope this helps at all :]

NO CHEATING: You’re starring in a movie with the last person saved in your camera roll and the last song you listened to is the title. Who/what is it?

Appreciate the tag @konigsmissedbeltloop !! <33

YAY ME. But also no because i sense full throttle super duper pro max level angst (i'm a sucker for angst but that's beside the point)

Random no pressure tags: @whateverfiction @illusivesoulgaming @iamcautiouslyoptimistic @alypink @h-a-unted @whimsywispsblog @mariariley @mockerycrow @alexxmason @darlingor @yumethefrostypanda & whoever else!!

Screen tablet arrived!! It's a huion kamvas 12 and man. It's so much better than my laptop display LMAO

Been working on a personal OC/worldbuilding site bc my toyhouse has gotten somewhat unwieldy and wow wow wow it's so satisfying to have this much flexibility and control over my html/css and my file structure and the way I connect different pages and show the connections between things ^^

It's going slow, but mostly because I'm a slow writer and I want all my little guys to have at least a paragraph-long summary explaining in loose terms Their Whole Deal...

But overall it's really nice to feel like my OCs are more integrated into a single continuous world!! I put a lot of thought into who fits where before I started, and so far it's really paid off xD

2022 Steve as one of these insanely organised aesthetic tik tok moms who makes the kind of asmr videos where they restock their fridge and make comedically elaborate gourmet lunchboxes for their children who are way too young to appreciate it and every surface is always just freshly cleaned with an unnecessary amount of products and everything is in its beautifully labelled glass container because 1. It’s funny and 2. Adult Steve all these years after the chaotic mess of his young adulthood would find a lot of calm, peace and a sense of control from having a home where everything is clean and safe and as it should be. And as a parent who was once a neglected child this is a way for him to concretely demonstrate absolute care and love for his children.

My prediction is that Cucurucho is trying to take down the Federation from the inside. And post.

so i love the ak lonetrail event. i really do. this isn't a post about it but reading it did prompt me to think about a bunch of things

this is more about how strange i feel when i read fictional stories about fictional scientists, and sometimes they're celebratory stories, but much more often they're stories about hubris, how science has gone too far.... and regardless, i'll see responses to the story that are like.. damn.. science/scientists powerful!!!! woah!!!!!!

and whether people are saying that positively or negatively—either can make sense in context, i'm not really criticising these responses—it feels so strange, seeing the state of science irl. i've kinda been in and around a bunch of STEM institutions, briefly debated joining academia, still kinda do vaguely researchy things sometimes, still know a lot of people in STEM... and among my friends and I there's been this sense of disillusionment. not just in the sense of oh, science is being used for terrible things (there's plenty of that, yes, and that IS important, but)—also the sense of. wow. there sure are a lotta .... plain ass fraudsters.....

it's this latter thing that's giving me so much dissonance when i read scifi these days. in fiction: scientists are punching holes in the sky! irl, well. two scientists are suspected of separately, independently, falsifying data... in their papers about honesty. you can't make this shit up. the entire field of psychology has been going through a crisis because so many results are just not reproducible. knowledge be damned when there's a publication count to worry about. (not to single out psych as a field, i think it's a bigger problem than that.) on the tech side, crypto... exists, and we are all the worse for how much time it's collectively wasted, that's the nicest thing you could even say about it. and even apart from crypto, silicon valley isn't really driven by tech, or engineering—like the tech is there but that's not what's pushing things along, it's money doing that. not any pretty ideal like the "pure pursuit of knowledge/invention." just the next shiny grift that can shake ass well enough, speaking the right buzzwords to get that sweet sweet VC dollar. and then starve some existing industry via attrition, and cash out when everything's in ruins.

i don't mean to exaggerate how doomed things are. i still work in stem, and i do think there's plenty of good to be found still. but when i think about how the fraudsters hide behind this Science! Wow! trope, and how they invoke the image of genius for their own actions it's just. wow. "omg science" starts ringing hollow, in that way where if you see a word too much it starts not looking like a word any more?

fiction about these dull, basic bitch kinds of hustlers is maybe less entertaining than the ones about super smart scientists/inventors, i get that. but it's probably a good thing to just keep in the back of the mind, to, idk, watch out for the people who'd really love for you to believe they're sooo hypercompetent.

just like in the stories.

1, 30 and 31 for the ask game!! <3

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

my mom used to play sade on repeat for like hours on cassette tape and i think that’s why i’m like this.

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

dancing to my favorite songs in my bedroom!! 🕺

are you messy or organised?

i’m a virgo........

I'm sleepy so have some Vampire!Kakashi ideas/headcanons that admittedly are all over the place but oh well (I kickstarted this train of thought by sending an ask to Red, now I gotta think beyond "head empty, only Kakashi").

I can imagine his skin being cold all the time, enough to make others recoil and flinch away. No particular explanation outside of the general 'undead' nature of vampires. That and his skin is very thin. It makes blushing all the more obvious and makes getting sunburnt too easy for his already vampire self. It's why he covers up so much of himself, mask and all (though as Red said in their post, the mask doubles as a means to hide his fangs).

I like to think that when he smiles, even if it's just a little quirk of his lips, the fangs jut out. It might be slight but it is noticeable. If he's smiling with those closed eyes of his you can bet you'd see a glimmer of a fang peaking through if he does not have his mask on.

Now, as much as I love no heartbeat vampires, give this man a heartbeat. Vampire!Kakashi that rarely gets phased by anything and is why he chose to become a shinobi. Well, more like why he chose to remain a shinobi. He wanted to feel the adrenaline make his undead heart hammer. It's why he reads romances and erotica: to get that same reaction. That same flushed face and all.

If we play with the sharingan being a metaphor for his vampire nature then that means he was turned into a vampire. Like a childhood pact which in the end left him all alone. (This technically means that the Uchiha are just a clan of vampires and I am not opposed to that idea).

Next... this one might be out there but vampire!Kakashi blushes when he smells blood, particularly when he is hungry. It's not a fluster by any means, just an automatic body reaction. The adrenaline from a potential meal causes it. That or it triggers the sharingan to appear, his eye going that rich red in search for the source. He won't act on the impulse, he never has, but the eye won't return to normal unless he's eaten.

That or it only happens when he smells the blood of someone he cares about and that properly triggers blood to rush to his head alongside adrenaline. He's thinking of nothing but the scent. Heart beating too fast, refusing to make eye contact. The whole lot.

And when it comes to eating, Vampire!Kakashi is the type of vampire to be constantly drinking "tomato juice" and then no one bats an eye especially because Guy drinks actual tomato juice. Kakashi did it first and Guy just assumed it was actual tomatoes and naturally he couldn't let his rival outdo him. (Naruto would be 100% clueless even if it's revealed that Kakashi is a vampire).

Oh yeah, Vampire!Kakashi wouldn't drink human blood. Not without a lot of healing of his past trauma. He'd settle for animal blood and it would take a lot of trust to take blood from a willing person. He'd be all shaky drinking from them. (Though he would 100% enjoy biting and nibbling. Like a cat).

And that's it for now I think. I might come up with more later though.

I am once again dissatisfied with my blog situation but now Tumblr has polls so I wanna ask again!

Will ylm have the same chapters or length as lwh? 🤗

i think ylm will have more chapters than lwh!! but i think the chapters are gonna stay short cause i enjoy smaller chapters more !!