Fandom? Merlin
Pairing? (pre relationship)Merthur
Summary? Modern!AU Merlin and Arthur go to a party. Lots of (one-sided) pining and angst.
Warnings? angst, mentions of alcohol, allusions to drugs/being unknowingly drugged
Word Count? 1k
Notes? i'm sorry ok?? my music was too vibey, and got me in my feels it was very much my fault- thanks @archangelsammy for choosing the fandom + characters :)))
The party is too loud. But he wants to be there.
Oh fuck, no he doesn't. He's only there for Arthur. Arthur, his best friend, who was straight, completely straight - who's never even questioned whether or not he liked males. Who is, quite literally, the straightest a man could get.
And yet...
Fuck, it's loud in here.
God. The only reason Merlin even considered coming here was for Arthur, and he's not even with Merlin! He's off doing cool bro-things, with his macho bro-friends.
No wonder he'd never even looked at Merlin like anything other than a little brother. But Merlin wanted to be more, he wanted so much fucking more from Arthur.
Why the actual fuck is it so loud here?
The music is barely even music. At this point it's just a fucking drumbeat. Pounding, pounding, pounding against the inside of Merlin's skull, trying to get out, but it can't. And Merlin can't escape either.
And the people 'dancing' don't help either. Don't all they know to leave the grinding and gyrating to the bedroom? God. They're acting like they're coated in aphrodisiacs. it doesn't even matter who they're with, as long as it's pleasurable.
Shit, he was going to throw up. How weak was his stomach? He'd only had a glass of water! Of course Arthur merely put up with Merlin, the weak idiot he was.
~
The quiet seems too quiet. He can still hear the beat through the thin thin walls of the house, but it's too quiet.
He'd somehow managed to get out of the house, pushing and shoving his way through the walls of flesh, that the party-goers turned into.
He still felt like he needed to throw up, even though he'd just emptied his guts on to the front lawn of the stupid frat house. A puddle of vomit, he very nearly landed in, thanks to his piss shit coordination.
But hey, at least the grass is cool underneath his face. The stars barely noticeable, despite the hour, thanks to the masses of street lamps that covered the college campus.
"Merlin?"
Oh gods, he was going to throw up again. But he couldn't, not when that voice was getting closer with every fucking millisecond.
He's pulled up by the back of his shirt into an upright position. His head spins, as the face of a stupidly handsome man swims into his vision.
Shit. Maybe he did drink something else.
"Wow! I didn't think you'd be so... reckless."
"I'm not." He said, or at least he tried to say - it just comes out a garbled mess.
Arthur chuckles, dragging Merlin to his feet, "Let's go, buddy."
Buddy. Fuck, that's all he was ever going to be wasn't it?
~
Arthur had had to carry him up the stairs. He was trying not to laugh the entire time. But Merlin, could feel the barely contained vibrations through his chest.
Merlin hated every second of it. Merlin loved every second of it. It was the most embarrassing moment of his life. It was the closest he'd ever physically been with Arthur. He would never forget it. He would never forget it.
What made it worse was that he couldn't even hold his head up to make sure it didn't fall in the fucking toilet bowl when he started throwing up again. Arthur had to.
He wasn't laughing this time.
That made it worse.
~
He woke up with the worst fucking headache anyone could imagine. His entire body felt like it was on fire. Every time he breathed his eyes burned. He could barely swallow. His mouth was too dry.
Eyes shut as tight as possible, he heaves the too-heavy blanket off of him, and shifts so his feet are off the bed and he's sitting up. A fire even worse than the original soared up his spine, and without thinking, Merlin launched into a sprint towards the bathroom again.
There was nothing left inside him to throw up. He was just gagging up spit.
He left the bathroom, heading to the kitchen. He hadn't left the pain meds in the bathroom for some reason, so he needed to find them.
Someone clearing their throat draws his attention away from his search for medication. He turns to find Arthur watching him from his position on the couch.
"Are you feeling better?"
Merlin nods.
"Say something then."
Merlin tenses. Arthur, noticing his hesitation, sighs and walks up to him.
"I need to talk to the guys about the water." There's a moment of silence, where Merlin resists the urge to touch Arthur in any way possible. "Speaking of water, would you like some?"
He nods again, not sure if him not being able to speak is because of his dehydration, or the man in front of him.
Arthur places a glass in front of Merlin, and he downs it in one go. Arthur chuckles under his breath, and Merlin almost smiles at the thought that he made Arthur laugh.
After a few seconds of comfortable silence, and Merlin guzzling down another glass of water, Merlin apologises.
Arthur looks up immediately, "Why?"
"What..?"
"Why are you sorry? You've nothing to be sorry for."
"I know how much you wanted to go to the party, and you left because you had to look after me. Because I was too stupid to know to not trust a random glass of water that someone gives me. I'm sorry that you got dragged away from your friends just because of me."
When Arthur doesn't respond Merlin glances up to find Arthur staring at him. "What's with that look?"
"It's jus-" Arthur's phone rings, and he checks the caller ID. He glances back at Merlin apologetically, "Sorry, I've gotta go."
Merlin blinks. Plasters on the same smile he always does.
"It's fine, don't worry about it."
Arthur hesitates for a moment.
"Go. I'll see you later."
Arthur nods, "Thanks Merlin."
~
Fuck. He was stupid. So so stupid. Especially to think that Arthur would've wanted to stay and talk to him.
For fucks sake. He's fucking straight, and he loves it. Why'd he have to fall for the straightest person in the whole fucking world?
At least it was dark enough in his bedroom, that no one would have to be able to see him. Even if Arthur was gay, why would he want to be with someone like Merlin? Why would anyone want to be with him?
He was so fucked up. Outside and inside. No one would ever want him, least of all the person he wanted more than anything. He would just be alone forever. Nothing he isn't used to.
But god, he wanted so much just to be with someone.
With him..
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