i get into hi fi rush and then proceed to make the most TOXIC ASS hfr oc. this is seltzer (he/they). he is Hashtag Problematic.

hes a precanon character who i created for the main purpose of exploring chais backstory which is FREE REAL ESTATE and subject chai to wretched things. making up a reason why chai is such a lonely ass independent guy at the start of the game AND SELF INDULGING AT THE SAME TIME (i love emotional whump). seltzer is red flag ass emotionally manipulative motherfucker. lmao

he is uhh. chais ex-"friend" that chai met at a venue during a local band performance in college. in quotes bc its a kinda complicated one sided deal. hes in a band called acid scale thats just a group of friends fucking around with instruments. their skills are mediocre and their music is DOGSHIT

somehow chai ends up hanging out with them. it doesnt end well

more sketches of the bastard below

....I have to see the dentist tomorrow and I can't tell if imagining I'm seeing @taliscat 's scarecrow is making me less or MORE anxious....probably more...if you can't tell I'm mortified

I'm worried that they're gonna tell me I'm gonna have to have surgery for this wisdom tooth coming in and hnnggg if y'all don't hear from me just know that I love you all...

Very few things will be quite as chilling to me as when Will hides in Martha’s closet — only to emerge with “The name is Lila.” I cannot describe the amount of confusion and fear I felt hearing that voice during my first playthrough.

urinetown headcanons (under the cut) while i wait for my headphones to charge >:)

there are. so many.

hope is a total plant mom

her place is like. decked OUT in plants. they are her pride and joy

just like. assume that they all have water. for now.

bobby does not get it. at all. but he's so supportive

bobby and hope get a puppy together and the puppy is scared of loud noises but so is bobby so when hope vacuums they hide in the broom closet together

officer lockstock watches drag race like an olympic sport. it's his version of like a laker's game or a yankees game or whatever

avid bianca del rio stan and i will die on that hill

no sorry i just gotta take a second to like.

lockstock 100% lives in like. your grandparents house. it's decorated the same way. blankets over chairs and couches, plants, LOTS of books, antiques, that sort of thing. vintage but like. humble?

officer barrel collects coins

you're gonna look at this man and tell me he doesnt collect coins?

you're lying

ms. pennywise is a tea fanatic

lesbian hot blades harry

little sally's favorite movie is Coraline

and she definitely takes apart toys and puts them back together to make little frankensteinian creatures like sid in toy story

lockstock would make a hella cool university english professor

tiny tom believes that the moon landing was faked

hope sews

ms pennywise's favorite book is definitely like wuthering heights or something

personally. i think. as someone who's played barrel. that were he given the opportunity to come to terms with his own identity, he would go and sincerely apologize to everyone he's hurt over the years.

like he probably wouldn't be forgiven, and i don't know if he deserves to be, but i think he would at least recognize the severity of his actions

lockstock taught little sally how to roller skate

little sally has an ant farm kit

caldwell b. cladwell has an eerie amount of world war 1 and 2 books.

mcqueen and millenium marathon euphoria together

fipp collects rocks and minerals

barrel lowkey knows how to cook a good ass meal

little becky two shoes is the type of person who you run into leaning against a wall smoking a cigarette while it's pouring rain and if you talk to her you're getting unskippable lore

kinda like your wine aunt but on drugs

little sally made lockstock a friendship bracelet once

idk i kinda feel like lockstock had a kid once and then they like. passed away or something. i just feel like lockstock has a tragic backstory but i dont know what it is

ma strong gets migraines and it got passed down to bobby

*chants* sick fics sick fics sick fics

ok i have a theory that the amenity numbers correspond with street numbers. so it's called amenity number nine because it's on ninth avenue. that way the numbers also still correspond to the quality of the toilets.

so the cops would have jurisdiction based on where the amenities are. that way it makes sense that they're the only two cops, because they only have jurisdiction in that particular area.

ok im done :)

Gonna start using my imaginary yandere stalker bf to encourage self care 💕

If he's dedicating so much time and energy to me the least I can do is give him someone worthy of all that worship! 💕💕💕

Do you think there will be Raphael pov in palmarosa at any point? I love how you write hiiiiim

Hiya anon!

So far I'm leaning towards no.

The reason is that I actually like that he's so hard to read, and because I find the concept of writing his mind genuinely challenging because he is so inhuman to me. I think if I were writing his POV I'd feel seduced by the urge to humanise him 'internally' and we'd lose the mystery and mercurial power of seeing him as an outsider (i.e. from Astarion's POV).

And while that's tempting in its own way, I'm very much not wanting to do that either! Part of what I enjoy in this story is watching Astarion deal with the loneliness in a way of being with someone / spending time with someone who thinks so differently to him, who prioritises differently to him, who has different values to him, and who is so very *not* human.

And sometimes that's something I want to write, but I actually don't want to humanise Raphael to that degree, so I'll be avoiding his POV, I'm sorry!

when you’re off of work would you please elaborate on your hannibal service top agenda,,, please my family is starving

i don’t want anyone to starve so obviously I will extrapolate on the service top aspect of Hannibal Lecter o7!! I am going to get so carried away and I apologize in advance.

Alright going to start this off by saying I do think they’re vers but only in regards to each other, I think for canon relationships, Will has a tendency to allow himself to be directed while Hannibal loves to orchestrate. With each other, though, it grows increasingly and alluringly complicated. Arguments could be made and subsequently thrown out depending on what part of the show you’re watching and post fall is an entire free-for-all because you can’t tell me two grown men survive murder-suicide via cliff and then settle into the puritanical rigidity of who tops and who bottoms.

Okay that being said, honestly i could make the case that both of them lean more toward making sure whoever they’re with is getting the most out of the encounter (maybe for different reasons; the popular trope of Will’s empathy causing a sort of blissful feedback loop and in Hannibal’s case, it stands to reason the politeness overlaps with a challenging sort of hedonism, he’s in control and playful about it) but I think that specifically for Hannibal, Will’s reactions are what he’s constantly seeking and then hoarding. Like. Will responding to stimuli that Hannibal presents is basically the premise of the show and Hannibal very clearly gets off on that, maybe not anywhere explicitly but we see shots of his pupils dilating, his gaze always caught on Will, licking his lips, all in response to Will reacting to him. It’s very rare he’s outright hungry at the beginning of a conversation or interaction, he seems to maintain a sense of aloofness until Will snarks or baits or replies or even defers and then, it’s as though he’s desperate to see more. I'm not getting into the whole them eating meals together because I'll devolve very quickly but like. just keep in mind the way Hannibal watches Will eat, as though he savors Will instead of the meal he cooked. Right. Okay. He gets caught up in Will’s responses very quickly, enraptured and almost stupid about it and trying to immediately trigger more which!! Goes hand and hand with him doing very uh lets say unique acts of service (the malewife jokes are only half jokes); the breakfasts & dinners, the driving, the caretaking. Yes all that’s manipulative but to Hannibal, that doesn’t negate that it’s still getting him the responses he wants and that’s also maybe why he’s so quick to say they’re friends because he’s viewing it as a form of relationship building and quite frankly, that is the only way that man knows how to build relationships; he sets himself up as a crutch and then breaks your leg and unfortunately at that point, for Will, for Jack, for Abigail, for Bedelia, for Chiyoh, you are too grateful to be standing that you forget he’s the reason you can’t do it on your own. The others I mentioned learn either very quickly or very (in painful irony) rudely that he is only a crutch as long as he enjoys it, as long as he can benefit from holding you aloft.

However. In Will’s case, he tries to remove himself and finds that it’s him who can’t stand and he’s immediately resentful and desperate to take back that ability, leaving another gift, another act of service, for Will to prove that he can still provide it and detrimentally putting himself on the map for Jack and Mason in the process. He’s so eager to have Will’s response, he waits at his own fucking crime scene. Will gives him what he wants and he’s too overwhelmed to respond with any sort of power or immediate selfishness, he runs again. And then. Muskrat Farms and his surrender. I feel like I don’t even need to explain why that backs up my case here, that man is so so ready to rescue and then surrender all because Will’s involved; two things he’s never done in his entire life, they essentially reduce him to this almost pathetic thing and it doesn’t give him pause at all because again, they’re acts of service whether Will wants them at that point or not. Like Bedelia said it best, he’s obsessed, he wants every reaction, every word, every sigh and curse, he’s very single-minded about getting them and he doesn’t care who he has to hurt, himself or others, to get them. Now, combine all that and the cliff scene and tell me that man doesn’t spend every second they’re in a bed together completely and utterly focused on Will and Will alone.

On the next episode of Are Maleness and Sadism Interlinked or Am I Just Weird About My Masculinity and Kink

I see all these "barbie doll" and "boy band" Dark Urge characters, and all I can do is laugh at the fact so many people want to ignore the canon Dark Urge is a reasonably older dragonborn sorcerer with the voice of a tired librarian that just mentally snapped after seeing someone litter in the non-fiction section.

two idiots with a history of miscommunication finally get their honeymoon after fucking off to the demon realm and leaving the human world in the hands of resident best boy (alternatively, the result of me reading angst)

sometimes i think characterising gort as a huge pervert is antithetical to my aro grey-sexual hc but then i remember i’m aroace and also the biggest pervert i know.

saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.

Every night where i think about the Qsmp, is a night where i fantasize in an alternate universe, SAD-ist, makes a suprise animatic based on it and then everyone in the world will literally flip out and explode from sheer excitement-

no yeah i love when tumblr doesn’t let me edit a post i reblogged. definitely won’t drive me crazy that i missed a word in the tags and it changes the meaning of the sentence

no yeah tumblr is such a cool and very functional app :)

oh no I stopped working for five minutes and remembered I love he...................... ;;

friendly warning: weird fucked up demons incoming at some point

no like seriously, they're pretty fucked up

^series link