STANDING IN THAT SCRUB room with Meredith had been one of the hardest things he had had to do. He had to tell the love of his life that he was sticking with his wife because he felt it was the moral thing to do. How backwards was that? If he hadn’t been stuck in surgery he would have followed Meredith, chased her through the halls and told her he was wrong. That he would sign those divorce papers that night and they could start fresh. But he couldn’t have things his way. Ever. 

    By the time he was finished, Meredith was gone. He had searched high and low for her but he couldn’t find her. It was Cristina who had told him she had gone. So there started months of regret and eventually scouring the country for her. Sure, he had some looks when he had stuck to his guns and tried to make things work with Addison, but everyone knew he was unhappy. They were never seen holding hands, there was always a 2 foot distance between them. The intimacy was gone from his life. He couldn’t even think about being intimate with Addison. 

    This was his third trip to Boston. The first had been whilst he was looking at places to do his internship. Mass Gen had been a top contender before he settled for Bowdoin. Maybe if he had gone to Mass Gen he would have bumped into Meredith sooner. She had spent the majority of her life in Boston. If he had learnt anything over the past few months, he learnt not to hold onto the past. He could change his future. Not his past.

    His second visit to Boston had been a month after Meredith had left Seattle. It killed him that he hadn’t thought of Boston sooner. That he hadn’t ran straight to the airport to fly there. But again, you can’t change the past Derek. He had spent a few days in Boston searching the hospitals in case she had transferred, spending time outside supermarkets, trying to locate her old house based on information she had given him over time but he had come up empty.

    Sitting in the drivers seat of his rental car, Derek thought long and hard about places he may find her. Four months had passed now and the pain was still there. Closing his eyes, Derek took a deep breath and then opened them again and reversed out of the parking spot. It was only a thirteen minute drive from the airport to Mass Gen, but that would be his first stop again. Leaving the parking lot, Derek joined the highway. 

    Derek entered the hospital, trying to act confident. He had a plan. He was going to try act as confident as possible, ask for Dr Grey and just go find her himself. He knew she had to be here. Boston made sense. Mass Gen was the hospital her mom worked at when she was younger. This was the place. It had to be. He felt so close to her, closer than ever before. Yet, despite his fake confidence, he was shaking from head to toe. He took a breath and rushed inside, bumping into someone at the same time. He gently took the woman by the shoulders, his left hand catching his eye, it looked weird without his ring again. “I’m so sorry. I need to look where I’m going.” He told the woman with a small laugh. 

[ @mctwcsty​ | Plotted starter call ]

Please send help. Derek is a little too invested in this whole elf thing and I’m about to go crazy. I just walked in on this. And he calls me messy?! 🤯🤦🏼‍♀️ @mcdceamy

TEN FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM TEN DIFFERENT FANDOMS.

Addison Montgomery (grey’s/pp)

HG Wells (warehouse 13)

Regina Mills (ouat)

Amity Blight (owl house)

Abby Sciuto (ncis)

Violet Sorrengail (fourth wing)

Annabeth Chase (percy jackson)

Luna Lovegood (hp)

Gabrielle (xena)

Kara Thrace (battlestar galactica)

tagged by: @prettytragcdies​

tagging: @hclfgoddess, @mctwcsty, @multi-royalty, @teddyaltman-cardiogoddess

I was tagged by @planetsfatesallthestars like a month ago, but here we go

Your name: Nic

Your star sign: Aquarius

Last thing you listened to: Gale Song by the Lumineers

How tall are you? 5'5

Piercings? all 3 lobes are done, conch and industrial Tattoos? 3

Glasses? yes

Last drink: cherry diluted squash

Last thing you ate: cinnamon bun

Pets? no

Do you have a crush on anyone? Ummm does Pedro Pascal count?

Faves fictional characters: Derek Shepherd, Ellie Williams, Joel Miller, Amelia Shepherd, Persephone from Lore Olympus

A movie you think everyone should watch? Deepwater Horizon A book you think everyone should read? His Dark Materials

Tagging: @mctwcsty

@mctwcsty

"It means I’m going to be there for her when she needs me, because she’s the only one I can count on."

Keep Getting Pulled Back

@mctwcsty

It was a normal day for Addison. She'd woken up, got ready for work, and headed into the practice. The secretary gave her a run down of her day and let her know her schedule before heading into their morning meeting. Practice life was very different from life as a surgeon in a hospital or chief of her own surgical department. Sometimes she missed the rush. Life always had a way of staying interesting for Addison though. Whether is was Archer nearly dying or her parents appearing on a whim. She could hardly say that life was boring.

She had just escorted one of her patients to the elevator with instructions when her attention was grabbed by someone she didn't know. "Are you Addison Forbes-Montgomery?" Addison nodded, "I am. Are you a new patient? Our office staff can help you with forms and get you set up with an appointment-" "No, that's not why I'm here at all. I - I just wanted to introduce myself." Addison stared at the woman in confusion. She had no idea who this person was, so why did they seem so nervous. "I'm Erin Flynn," her hand extended a business card for a law firm. Addison frowned, "If one of my patients had an issue-" "No, god no, I'm doing this all wrong. I'm sorry. Is there- can we? I was hoping we could talk." Addison nodded lightly, "Sure, my office is down this way." She walked down to her office and gestured for Erin to take a seat.

Addison watched the other woman glance around her office, she was confused as to why a lawyer was so invested in her decorating choices. "So, Erin, correct? What brings you down to my practice?" Erin startled for a second before taking the offered seat. "I- I was adopted as a baby. I've always been curious but when my dad died, I just felt this hole and finally got the courage to look at my adoption papers. His name wasn't on the certificate, no one's name was, but there was paperwork that named your dad-" Addison cut her off, "I'm sorry. You said you think the Captain is your father?" Of course this would happen. She couldn't exactly be surprised at that, with all his affairs. However, she was a Forbes-Montgomery. She'd been raised to be wary of people like this. "You'll need to consent to genetic testing." She watched the way the woman's face fell. "There was another name in the records My birth mom's reports. Her name was Ellis Grey." Addison started laughing. She had to or she would lose her mind. "Ellis Grey slept with the Captain. Of course she did, they did." It explained so much.

Oh god, she realized. She was going to have to tell Meredith. Damnit. Addison sobered at that thought. "I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me. This is just- there's a lot to this. But, uhm, how do you feel about Seattle? There's more than just myself involved in your mother is Ellis Grey." "Yes, I'm aware of Meredith. I fully vetted both of you, you seemed like the better one to start with." Addison didn't quite understand what that meant. Either way, she wouldn't be dealing with any of this without Meredith. "Well, it doesn't matter who you started with. We'll have to go to Seattle and talk with Dr. Grey. This involves her too.

Over the next hour or so, Addison reworked her schedule and scheduled a flight with Erin to Seattle the next day. She didn't have the energy to let this sit in her head for more than a day. That night, her brain was overwhelmed with thoughts and worries. Captain had another kid. Of course she knew it was possible, almost probable. That didn't mean she ever wanted to look them in the eye. Even now, knowing the truth about her parents, Addison could just barely manage Bizzy's death. Throughout the night, she barely rested, leaving her exhausted for the flight that morning.

When they landed in Seattle, Addison was surprised that it was storming. She had the taxi take them to the hotel to drop their bags off, knowing this was going to take more than a day to manage. There was very little talk between herself and Erin. Addison was telling herself that it was because she didn't care about her. No matter what the tests said, she wasn't her sister. But she also knew that it was because of Meredith. Addison had come to terms with everything, moved on; hell, Derek died. And yet another thing pulled her back to Seattle, and connected her to Meredith Grey.

Addison quickly led Erin through the hospital that afternoon, refusing to get caught up in gossip. She knew her old friends would find her in time, news traveled fast. It didn't take long for her to find Meredith at the nursing station. This was her first trip back to Seattle since the funeral. After a moment, she made eye contact with Meredith and paused before walking over. She had no idea what to say to her, she doubted a 'hey, your mom slept with my dad and created this person' was going to work. Once within appropriate distance, Addison gave Meredith a tight lipped smile, "Dr. Grey," she started, "This is Erin Flynn. She says her parents are Ellis and the Captain."

Forming Friendship 

Starter for @mctwcsty

It took some time after their talk in the park, but she finally did it. She told Owen about the baby. It wasn’t when, where, or how she planned to; but wasn’t that how it always went for the anxious blonde? They were in surgery and it was some sort of miracle their patient was fine, and she just blurted it out before being paged away at just the right time. She just word-vomitted to an OR full of staff and now the whole hospital was bound to know. Of course they talked about it some but it was all so....messy and complicated. Things with Owen were always complicated. 

Her and Mer had definitely become closer since the day at the park. More chats here and there, texting, etc. Dare she say they were actually becoming friends? Not that they weren’t before, it was just that they didn’t really go out of their way to be more than professional. It was civil and friendly, just not close. So, the cardio surgeon was still trying to wrap her head around the thought that she was knocking on Meredith’s door to hangout and catch up about everything going on in their lives. “Stranger things have happened.” She muttered quietly to herself as she waited on the porch. She certainly didn’t show up empty handed though, that was something instilled in her by her mother. While she would refrain, she knew it was Mer’s favorite. So, grasped in her free hand was a good bottle of tequila.

positivity for mctwcsty & surgeonsoath : @mctwcsty and @surgeonsoath are two of the best writers on this website! I’m so glad I became friends with them. I seriously can’t believe I get to write with them!!

Your absolute dedication and precision in the very details to portraying your character is what drew me to your page in the first place. Your impeccable writing as well! You are such a great writer and I love seeing you on my dashboard and following your storylines. I cannot wait to start writing and creating with you as well, it will be so much fun! You are also such a kind and sweet person to talk to out of character & I’m glad we get to bond off characters as well, it’s always great talking with you. Keep shining 🥰

what about my portrayal attracted you to my blog?

You are seriously one of the sweetest people oh my gosh. You are always so supportive and uplifting! Not just with me, but with others and in general and I admire that! I adore it and I'm so thankful because of it, honestly. You're always complimenting me and my Liv and writing and ahhh, it means a lot! And you know I feel the same way about you and your Meredith! Your dedication and love you pour into her and your writing is beautiful and inspiring and I love that we share that! As well as our love for these two very important ships we hold dear to us. I love your passion for Mer and MerDer and I love that we are similar in that aspect. It'll be great when we start writing and I do love what we have planned! I've enjoyed talking to you, too. You keep shining, as well!

I’ve been re-watching Grey’s and as much as I love my baby, I’m proud of Meredith for standing up to him and not just giving him what he wants. Everyone says that she begs him and just hands him what he wants but I can name many occasions where she didn’t. 

For example when he tells her that she was like coming up for fresh air, she stood there and said ‘It’s not enough’. She knew her worth. She knew that she was worth more than to be lied to. 

When she went to the woods to try get him to come back and he got angry and hit the engagement ring into the woods. She literally just walked away from him.  When he came back from DC and she says ‘I thought I could live without you. But I can...I just don’t want to.’ She was telling him that he does not control her, he doesn’t turn her world so much that she can’t turn it herself. 

I love Derek, but he can be an ass and trust me, he knows it. He’s gorgeous and he is my baby, but he’s a right ass hat sometimes. But I think that’s why I love my threads with @mctwcsty​ so much. We can explore that side of him and she doesn’t write Meredith as a push over. She shows that Mer will stand up for herself and she knows that she’s worth more than being walked over for Derek’s benefit. But she also knows when he is being sincere. 

That’s why you rule Mctwcsty. 

heck i’m proud of this

if ever you like to read, here’s my novel. this thread is dear to my heart. lucky to have built this with my dear @sxtanshepherd - come enjoy this meraddie era with us :)

https://www.tumblr.com/mctwcsty/712811976700641280/sxtanshepherd-addison-loved-the-way-the-kids-ran?source=share

The Woman Who’s Been Screwing My Father...

@mctwcsty

She only sort of knew what was happening. Rosalie had been busy with school and cello lessons, trying and usually failing at making friends. Of course she’d noticed Christmases being a little empty, the morning was just her and her mom and quiet excuses that her dad had gotten paged during the night and wouldn’t be home until later. Dinner at Grandma Shepherd’s with her cousins, but still her dad hadn’t shown up. Her birthday happened and again, her dad wasn’t there. Eventually, Rosalie stopped waiting. She stopped thinking or wasting her time wondering if her dad would come to her recitals, holidays, birthdays, and parent teacher conferences. She got comfortable with it being just her and her mom, occasionally Mark. Her dad almost ceased to exist in her mind. 

Rosalie learned a new routine: getting herself up and ready for school, checking her own homework twice, and making her own breakfast. Her mom took her to school three days a week and the other two, she walked. If she were to pause herself in her routine and think about it for a few minutes, she wouldn’t be able to remember the last time she saw her dad for more than a few minutes. He was coming home after she was in bed, he was usually gone before she got up- if he even came home at all. Rosalie wasn’t okay with it, she was just used to it. It had become her new routine, and one the rare occasion that he was home for longer with her, he messed with how her days went and she got frustrated. She had heard a few times the way her parents fought about the fact that she struggled when he was around. 

Her mom had warned her a week in advance that some things would be changing and that it would be hard. Rosalie’s routine wouldn’t exist when they went to Seattle, but Uncle Richard, Aunt Adele, and dad would be there, mom would be available whenever she wasn’t with patients too. If she knew that things would change a lot and rapidly, she would be okay, she knew to expect it. 

Rosalie listened to her mom’s explanation of where they were going, why, and how long they would be gone. It was vague, more vague than usual. She was used to getting very precise explanations, but this time her mom had told her, “I have a case in Seattle, where your dad went. So, we’re going to go, and we’ll see dad and figure out what we’re doing from there.” She knew about Mark, knew that her dad had left; her mom didn’t keep secrets from her, she hated secrets. Rosalie found lying difficult and didn’t understand why everyone lied. When her dad left, her mom sat her down and told her everything; about work, her dad, and then she told her about Mark and how her dad found out. 

The flight to Seattle had been long and Rosalie was tired, but she understood that her mom needed to go to the hospital and check in with her patient. She was the child of two amazing surgeons, she’d been down this road before. Despite being tired, she was still going with her. Rosalie followed her mom through the hospital to the desk and stood there quietly while she asked about her patient and heard her ask about her dad. She rolled her eyes lightly, again, it wasn’t that she didn’t care but she hadn’t had a real conversation with him in years at this point now; and now, he lived on the other side of the country. 

Turning around, Rosalie was looking at what the hospital looked like when she saw her dad across the lobby. She tapped her mom on the shoulder and pointed, since she’d been asking about him. The young teen didn’t exactly understand what she was looking at as her dad helped a woman into her coat, but she could see the change in her mom’s body language. 

Rosalie thought that she didn’t care. She thought that she wouldn’t really want to see him, but he was right in front of her and it looked like he was leaving for the night. That meant that he was free. He would actually have time to talk to her. She felt her mom’s arm wrap around her and gently start walking towards him. Rosalie watched his face, he didn’t look happy to see her even though he’d been gone for four months. He hadn’t seen her in three months, and he wasn’t happy to see her. Her face fell as they approached him. Uncertainty and anxiety was settling in and she didn’t know what to do. 

“Addison, Rosalie, what are you doing here?” Her dad’s voice rang through her head and she frowned. “You aren’t happy to see us,” she said quietly. It wasn’t a question, she could tell; between the lack of smile on his face and the tone of his voice. He wasn’t happy to see her. “That’s not what I’m saying-” He glanced at Addison, “What are you doing here?” Addison smiled sadly at Rosalie’s realization before pushing it off and focusing on her husband, “You would know if you bothered to return any one of my phone calls.” She turned to the other woman, “Hi, I’m Addison Shepherd, and this is my daughter Rosalie.” Addison reached out to shake the woman’s hand. “And you must be the woman who’s been screwing her father.” Rosalie glanced between the adults surrounding her. She knew about Mark, knew her dad was mad, but he wouldn’t- he wouldn’t do that. Would he? The teen realized she really didn’t know, considering she hadn’t said more than three sentences to him in three years. 

Tag a quality blog, You’re it! Quality doesn’t means that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how many followers you have. Send this to 15 blogs who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them. 💙

It's honestly ironic that I got this message from you when you're the quality blog. You're perfection in many ways; as a person, a writer, as Meredith. With Ellen leaving I know you'll help to keep Meredith alive for me. You're so talented and honestly, as a friend, I am so proud of how far you've come this year. I am blessed to know you and blessed to be able to call you a friend.

Please count this as a send-back, as you deserve to know just how amazing you are. @mctwcsty

@mctwcsty

"You want to be a mess, be a mess. I don’t care. I can take it."

Continued from here. @mctwcsty

The entire world around Olivia was at a stop as she tried to process the news she had just been told. News that was four years old, but new to her. One of her oldest friends, there since she started at the SVU, was gone from this world. And she had no idea this entire time. She felt like a terrible friend because of it - for not knowing what happened to him and for not keeping in contact, but their lives had become busy. Derek here in Seattle and Olivia back in New York. With her work, with Lewis, with Noah... but it hadn’t been the first time they went years without speaking. After he moved to Seattle for the first time, they kept in contact for a while before it fell apart, only to meet up again later and then... the same thing. But to hear that he died? Olivia felt crushed and it showed all over. The way she had to turn away while the tears spilled out, giving herself a moment to compose herself so she didn’t break. But she felt sick.

It takes her a couple of minutes before she finally turns back around and faces Meredith, muttering two words. Words that were meant to convey her sympathy for Meredith. How sorry she is for having lost her husband and the father of her children. Not to mention, her best friend. It may be four years ago, but losing someone you loved so much, that was your whole world? Olivia can imagine that kind of heartbreak never fully goes away. To this day, she still misses her mother, despite the strained relationship they had, but this is different, she knows. And she hates that the feelings of loss are returning to her - she can’t help but feel bad about it. Seeing the tears in Meredith’s eyes, the way her voice falters, trying to keep it together. And so Olivia reaches out.

She steps forward and embraces the other woman in what she hopes will provide her some comfort, while also silently thanking her for telling her. She keeps there for a few seconds, hand rubbing up and down her back before she’s pulling away and offering her a small smile, strained and pained, but appreciative. And full of admiration. Then comes her question and Olivia lets out a tear-eyed chuckle. “Oh, god, it’s been well over ten years.” A long time. “It was when he was still living in New York, working at the hospital there. I, uh, I was new to the SVU, my first year, and I’d gotten injured..” Olivia starts recalling, her smile growing a little more as she talks about it and she moves to sit down on one of the empty chairs. “And Derek was the one that saw me. I could tell he was a little disappointed because it wasn’t anything major.” She laughs, knowing how much of surgery junkies surgeons are. Which made sense. Even Derek told her so. “Laceration to the side, concussion. He was, uh, he was very charming.” She isn’t afraid to admit, though she hadn’t fallen for his charms. “Anyway, I’d gone back a few weeks later for something else and, again, he happened to be my doctor so it became a reoccurring thing.” She laughs, wiping her eyes. “So we became good friends. Would meet up for drinks after work when our jobs allowed, grab lunch. He, uh...” She takes in a deep breath. “He was a great guy. Great friend..” It sounded so strange talking about him in that way, past tense. It was extremely hard to do. And even think about.

♡ + TEDDY/ADDIE :)

Who is the most affectionate? Romantically, Addie. Teddy likes to tease her and do things for her to show affection.

Who initiates the handholding? Teddy. Holding Addie’s hadn't grounds her and calms her down when she’s anxious, snowballing, or thinking about all the things. She always just feels relaxed when holding her hand. 

Who worries more for the other? Addie. Teddy is stubborn and doesn’t always make time to take care of herself so Addie is constantly worried about Teddy and how she’s doing.

Who is more likely to ask for help? In recent years, Teddy. It took a lot of work and vulnerability. Addie gets more waspy when needing help and doesn’t like to ask for it.

Who is the one always losing the keys? Teddy. She loses everything. Addie keeps track of their things because Teddy just leaves things somewhere random rather than where Addie insists that they go. Addison always tells her where her things are.

Who leaves little love notes for the other? Addie. She can’t help herself. She pops into Teddy’s office and leaves notes and/or a snack/coffee on busy days.

Who can’t sleep unless the other is there? Addie, typically. She’s clingy. However, Teddy acts like GI Jane when she’s really Attachment Barbie and secretly sleeps like crap when Addie isn’t there. When she’s pregnant, Teddy is all kinds of needy and wants Addison with her all the time.

Who is more likely to propose to the other? Teddy. She comes up with some elaborate romantic plan for Addison but it doesn’t go that way at all.

Who introduced the other to their family first? Addie because Teddy's parents are dead. Addie really didn’t want to though. Teddy wishes she could’ve introduced hers to Addie though. They would’ve loved her.

Who is more likely to play with the other’s hair? Teddy. She has a thing for Addie’s red hair and is always playing with it or grabbing on it. When she’s upset or sleepy, she plays with it while they are snuggled up together. She doesn’t mind Addie playing with her hair but prefers when she tickles her back.

Who makes sure the other has meals/stays hydrated? Both, especially when the other is going through something. But on a normal day? Addison. She knows Teddy gets caught up in a million things and reminds her to slow down and eat/drink.

Who is more likely to stand up to anyone for the other? Both, you don't mess with their family. They are very protective of their family.

Who is the most likely to prepare a surprise for the other? Teddy. She plans surprises for Addie to “woo” her but they never go as planned and Teddy gets flustered which Addie thinks is adorable.

Who makes the other pinky promise not to do certain things? Teddy. She’s more childlike than Addie and helps feed Addison’s inner child.

Who puts a blanket over the other when they fall asleep on the couch? Addie because Teddy typically falls asleep on the couch first. When they have kids, Addie falls asleep in the rocking chair next to the cribs and Teddy puts a blanket over her.