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threelionsgirl · 4 months

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karma is my boyfriend| mason mount

part II of better with me

summary: y/n and mason finally arrive in cancun with y/n having to make a serious decision; while trying to understand her feelings for mason warnings: none word count: 1.760 notes: it's been a long time since i've posted anything, this was a sequel that i've been writing for a while, i even thought about posting it on wattpad bc i really like the plot, but i don't know, do you want a sequel? let me know!!! also i wanted to say that english isn't my first language so sorry for the mistakes, not reviewed (ignore the title too, I couldn't think of anything better

After just over two hours of pure sex with Mason, Y/N had decided that this was the best way to travel by plane, but she wasn't iron either. She was exhausted, and he wasn't much different either. For the rest of the time, realising they had no choice, they silently agreed to raise a peace flag, at least until the plane landed. They were still sharing that small sofa, but decided to put on some warmer clothes while the same blanket covered them. Y/N had discovered that she could occupy the same seat with Mason without fighting with him or fucking him… She hadn't felt that sensation since… Since they were 15, when things started to change between them and a part of her, however small, missed her friend. "So why didn't you break up with him?" Mason asked. They had been talking for a while about trivial things, and that was one of his biggest doubts. The low light and the cold climate made the atmosphere of the plane pleasant for that. He had one arm under her body and his Serbian bicep as a pillow to support her head. "Him who?" "Your boyfriend, Jake." Y/N grimaced as she remembered him. She didn't want to remember him while she was still with Mason, because she knew that cheating on him had been wrong.

"Well, I don't know… He's a nice guy, he treats me well, and I know he loves me." Guilt seemed to consume her even more after saying that, Jake was a nice guy, he didn't deserve what she was doing to him, even though she wasn't sorry. "I guess I was trying to focus on these things, thinking that it would be immature to end a relationship because of sex; Sex shouldn't be the basis of a relationship, and it shouldn't matter so much. I mean, there are people who live just fine without sex, right?" "You're not one of those people, so you're not going to live well that way." He said, and she looked at him, thinking that behind all that arrogance, Mason actually had a thinking brain. "I also agree that it shouldn't be the basis, but sex is fucking important." "You're right, I was just fooling myself. When we get there, I'll give him a call." "To break up?" He asked unassumingly, but with a faint thread of hope running through him. "Yeah, maybe, I guess. I mean, I don't want to hurt him, but I need to tell him I had sex with you. I'm sure he won't be happy to know." She pondered, knowing it would be difficult, but confident that it was the right thing to do. "What about you? Why did you break up with Karen?" She turned sideways to look at him, no longer feeling awkward about having his body so close and wanting to look him in the eye. Mason wanted to pull her around the waist with his other hand and entwine his legs in hers, but somehow it didn't seem right.

"She was suffocating me." He let off steam, remembering how sometimes, or almost always, Karen could be annoying. Mason preferred to summarise the story, the details were too stupid to hold Y/N's attention. "The Euro final was too difficult, and I really didn't want to bring her to Cancún with us." "Hmm." It was the only thing she decided to say, realising that Mason didn't want to prolong the subject any further, and neither did she. Y/N stared at the roof of the plane, listening to the noise of the wind and the engines, the two of them there, it seemed like a parallel reality, and she began to wonder what it would be like when the plane landed. A part of her didn't want things to change because it scared the shit out of her. "Mount?" "What is it, princess?" His eyes were almost closed, but he opened them wide when he heard her voice. "I was serious at the time, let's not tell anyone about it." She said, pointing at him and herself. Mason stopped to think for a moment, in his mind this was the start of something new, but Y/N wasn't really interested in making things change. This fuelled something bitter inside him, so he decided to act the same way.

"I also think it'll be better if they don't know." She shook her head, sure that the subject was closed when he whispered: "So, do you hate me again?" "Wait until the plane lands, now I just want to sleep." Y/N spoke as if sleeping in his arms was the most comfortable place she had ever slept. It made Mason angry, but he couldn't do anything as he watched her eyes grow heavy, as Y/N fell asleep so close to his body. Not while that moment was all he ever wanted.

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"Look who's finally here? So? How was your trip? I guess you got through it without killing yourselves." Declan laughed as Mason and Y/N got off the plane. They had finally landed, and Y/N's brother decided that he would be the one to meet them at Cancún airport. Y/N couldn't believe it when the plane finally landed. When she woke up on top of Mason, from the window she could see that it was morning, she locked herself in the bathroom and only came out when they were minutes away from landing. It was time to get back to normal, and she had to get ready. She changed her clothes and dressed up as much as possible, trying to look like she hadn't had a hectic night of sex. Y/N left first, coming through the door like a rocket. She stared at Declan with fire in her eyes. Unlike her, he was in a good mood, smiling and wearing sunglasses to protect his eyes from the beautiful sun. "You're a terrible brother, you know that?" She grumbled, walking past him and handing him her bag to carry. He looked at Mason for answers, Declan thought that Y/N would get so angry that she would storm out of the plane swearing a thousand words and slapping his arm, but she seemed quite calm.

"What's up, bro." He greeted Mason and the two of them started walking side by side, behind Y/N who was a few steps ahead.

"I really thought she'd be angrier, what happened there?" Mason bit the inside of his cheek, flashes of the trip flooded his mind and he remembered every moment with Y/N, but he also remembered the deal they had made not to tell anyone, and that included Declan, so it was inevitable that he would have to lie to his best friend. He looked ahead so that Dec wouldn't notice. "I don't know, I slept the whole journey. Do you know how hard it is to put up with a girl as boring as the princess for so many hours?" "Don't be late next time then!" Dec slapped him on the back, laughing. He had thought he was a genius when he came up with the idea of putting Mason and Y/N on the same plane. That experience must have been the worst for both of them, and he found it amusing. The journey out of the airport was uneventful. They had decided to rent a mansion on the beach instead of staying in a hotel with the excuse of having more privacy. Lauren, Alex and Ben were already there when Dec, Mase and Y/N arrived. They hadn't really done much while waiting for the other two. Their plan was to set aside a few hours to rest and go out in the evening.

The house was big enough for everyone to have their own room, with the exception of Lauren and Declan, who preferred to stay together as expected. Y/N discovered that the last two rooms left were facing each other, which meant that Mason would be her next door neighbour. It was for these reasons that she hated arriving after everyone else. She went to her room to unpack and Alex went to help her so they could talk. The only thing Y/N could think about was taking a nice shower. "So, Y/N, is Jake coming?" Alex asked, throwing herself onto her bed after a while. Y/N was on the floor with her suitcases open, looking for an outfit to wear for the evening. Jake. She hadn't even stopped to think about him because remembering that she had cheated on her boyfriend wasn't the best thought. "I'm going to break up with him." "What? Why?" Alex stood up quickly, surprised. In her mind, Y/N and Jake were the happiest couple in the world, she couldn't imagine that they were facing problems to the point of breaking up. "Do you want me to be honest?" Y/N paused. "He's terrible in bed, and I've realised that I can't live without cumming." "Is that serious?" Alex was dumbfounded. Y/N just thought that she would only be more shocked if she knew that it was Mason who had made her realise all that. But Mason was her secret under lock and key.

"Very serious. I'll finish this" She indicated the clothes in her suitcase. "And call him." "You're going to end a year-long relationship over a mobile phone?" Alex looked sceptical, it was all so sudden. Y/N stood up, pondering. God, she had betrayed him, and now she was going to end it all with a phone call. She was a terrible person. That's for sure. Karma was her boyfriend and would come for her at any moment. "Do you want me to make you come here just to finish?" Either option was terrible. She could also pretend that nothing had happened and carry on with Jake, but that seemed even worse. As well as lying to him, she'd be lying to herself. "It makes sense." Alex agreed. Y/N shrugged and took a towel out of her bag. Through the crack in the door, she saw Mason, shirtless, entering his room, and bit her lip. A few hours later and she was already missing his hot body, but NO, it wasn't going to happen again. Ever.

"You look strange, Y/N." Alex's voice roused her from her thoughts, and Y/N stopped staring at the door, trying to forget that Mason was half-naked next door. "No, I'm not. I'm just… thinking about what we're going to do today." "Well, I don't know what I'm going to do, but you'll definitely be looking for a guy who can make you come." Alex laughed, walking past her and slapping her on the bum. Y/N sighed and laughed back. Alex had no idea that Y/N had already found this guy, and he was only a door away.

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acecasinova · 10 months

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Hullo!! This is so late but for the ask meme if you're still doing it? :D

🌹🍁🌺💫 for Lazarus and Keev? :D

ABSOLUTELY I'm always down to talk about my kiddos lol~

🌹 Where in the world does your OC feel most at home? Is there any reason why? If it’s not the place they were born, where were they born? Is there a certain somebody that makes them feel at home where ever they may be? What does home mean to them?

Lazarus: Man. I don't know if he's got a place like that. The closest is probably when he gets to nap as a wolf, curled up under a tree or maybe on Eurydice's lap, but he's SO guarded and on edge that he doesn't get to feel like that much. We just got confirmation that he was NOT from Barovia, just somewhere on the Material Plane, but not sure where bc his grandfather wasn't exactly forthcoming lol. Eurydice most of the time- she let him squat in her orphanage's barn and never tried to pressure him too much, but she DOES sort of hover and fuss in ways that he doesn't like (but so many people do that rn). Home is somewhere people don't judge him.

Keev: It used to be his family's kitchen at home, but.... He hasn't actually been back since the accident (being declared dead, buried, and then deemed an undead abomination even though you're NOT (technically) undead, just barely connected to the living sort of puts a damper on going home.) And knowing that his parents knew he'd die if he became a wizards' apprentice but didn't fight the assignment bc it was an honor for their family, makes it a LITTLE soured. But really, any time he gets to cook feels comforting, or, failing that, just spending time w/ his twin sister. (She's sort of his whole world) Home to Keev is comfort. Protection. A warm place to let down your guard- a hearth.

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

Lazarus: Usually he just f-cks off to the woods outside Valaki lmao~ The hayloft in the barn is also a usual haunt for him- it's where he sleeps and hides the stuff he's found/stolen, and where he goes when he doesn't need to work off excess energy (Q has also added some decorations, like a large stop sign her fey prince gave her) In the forest there's definitely an area with more scratched up trees that he frequents for working off energy, hunting small animals, and just climbing up trees to nap or sulk lol

Keev: Right now, he and his sister are on the road too much- they don't have a 'base' outside a magical shelter, so it's difficult to make a place feel like "his". But he does like journaling and pressing flowers, so that may count as a "comfort corner" as he doesn't remember anything after they passed the magical barrier outside their home country. He'll just turn invisible and slink off if he gets overwhelmed, but most times right now he doesn't want to be too far from his sister.

🌺 What does your OC do to calm down when they’re scared or after a nightmare? Do they have any special comfort items or need to be reassured by a specific person? How do they handle this if they’re alone?

Lazarus: Depends on what's scaring him TBH. Most times, he'll just bolt, maybe drop some Darkness and then start jumping through shadows, but LATELY the source of his fear has been Kindness and Strahd, which has been.... tricky, and he's been freezing up as part of him wants to run and another part instinctively wants to obey. After the scare has passed, he usually has a lot of pent up energy and he gets aggressive or needs to let it out somewhere, like just running, hitting something, or scratching up a tree if he can't pick a fight

Keev: So much stimming! Usually he seeks out his sister to tell her about it and just not be alone, because he's had quite a few meltdowns and panic attacks recently from his claustrophobia and other recent fears, and since his magic is tied to fear and reacts to it, it can be dangerous. If he's alone, he tends to just withdraw and curl up to ride it out as best he can

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

Lazarus: ....okay so I JUST found out he was literally MADE from pieces of the rest of his vampiric family, then basically "jump-started" by a great old one, which is WILD- like what a way to have a biologically connected vampire den??? And I love that bc the DM just casually dropped that at the end of last session and reminded us that he mentioned that Laz' arms are different skin tones sdfghjkl;??

Keev: He's agnostic even though he's literally met several gods because he's seen them be fallible and doesn't think they've proven themselves more worthy of worship than anyone else. Also in his ideal world, he could be a paladin who draws faith from other people and their inherent goodness (But he's not very confident in his martial abilities as he was trained classically in arcana and now dealing with shadow magic)

#lazarus #keev #ask meme #sleepyforestbeast

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izzy-b-hands · 1 year

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my brain is buzzing with random au ideas and shit while im sitting here awake entirely too early

and i just. Fucking Niche AUs I'll probably never finish part two:

-Call Center AU: Ed and Stede are middle managers learning to work together (and falling in love of course) after their companies and staff merged in a new big ass building (for fun: many rumors it's haunted. It isn't, Buttons just hates getting up early for work so during the week he hides out and lives in the basement.) Badminton & Co are trying to buy out their newly merged company with plans to fire everyone. Is this one just so I can shove in Murray Hewitt references with Stede? Partially! It's also bc i can throw in The Office references for my mum, who thus far will only read fic if I have a few in there & it's mainly comedy, and she hasn't read like any of my stuff fic or original in ages so. Yeah skdnfng

-NTSB (National Transportation Safety Board) AU aka did u know aviation is another special interest of mine? u do now!!:

Ed and Stede lead separate teams as part of Aotearoa's TAIC (their version of the NTSB), and are called in to assist with an NTSB investigation re: a crashed plane & a dead Badminton bro as a result ( Either of the two we've seen thus far, w/subplot abt him being a dick who was super rich bc of a shit ton of rental properties in Aotearoa that he didn't keep up well and hiked rent on constantly bc he seems like the landlord type.)

However, as it progresses it becomes clear there's more at stake than just a plane accident investigation (tho obvi also v important still) bc it appears there might be sabotage involving ppl in both the states and Aotearoa (aka hi jack!! and any other random pirates or historical ppl i might add in lol.)

This is difficult tho, bc like. they didn't like this Badminton of course so him being dead is like well this will be positive for his renters at least maybe, but also holy fuck other ppl died as a result jfc what the fuck. so then it's a matter of do we or do we not reveal the whole truth & open up what would be a can of worms re: Badminton, but would be an utter disservice to the rest of the victims' families if NOT revealed.

Substitute Teacher AU:

A school has had just. horrible luck and a few scandals and now the entire staff has been fired and the district really doesn't wanna spend that much money on new ppl yet so

enter Stede and Ed as separate teams of substitutes, attempting to cover all the topics at a decently large school where tbh they could use even more teachers (enter Doug, Mary, Spanish Jackie who actually teaches French & likes how her nickname fucks w/the kids a bit lmaoo, & Jack as additional help)

Nigel & Chauncey both have kids at the school, and expect special treatment as a reward for donating generously to the school (not really that generously tho), which means they are Nightmare Parents. Like yes it's sad they're both divorced but like if u talked to them for five mins u would Understand.

Big events in it would be Parent/Teacher Conferences (Izzy and Jim end up having to manhandle a screaming Nigel outside after Roach asks him to tell his kid to stop trying to set things on fire in Home Ec), at least one school dance ("Ed, they're vaping in the bathroom, what do I do?" "Idk join them?" "Ed!" "What? They'll do it regardless!!") and the graduation of the oldest grade (I think middle schoolers would be both the cruelest and funniest option for this au) and how they'll actually miss these goddamn kids, & don't know if they'll be contracted for the same school next year as permanent or called in to sub more or what

Topics for everyone thus far:

Jackie-French as noted above. She also enjoys that the kids always think Frenchie should teach her class purely based on his name. Doesn't tolerate any bs during class & will send u to the principals, but if everyone behaves they get an extra point added to their grade just for showing up and being polite. For some kids, for various reasons, it's a life saver.

Frenchie-joint band and choir director with The Swede. Treated like a local rock star by the kids bc he tells them how back home he plays in a few bands, and plays gigs in between teaching contracts/assignments. A couple make fan shirts after they google and manage to find out the name of the band he usually performs with. They give him one too and he can't help but well up bc. kids man. one minute little assholes the next moment doing something so kind and unexpected!

The Swede- mainly choir director but helps with the band bc they have a huge class size but of course the district doesn't care abt that.

Ed & Stede-joint principals, also Theater. Ed jokes that he's the Fun Principal bc he occasionally lets the kids get away with like. smoking near the school or playing hooky. If he catches them they get a 'guys cmon if u keep this up i gotta stop u forever so like. be mindful' talk. Stede thinks he's truly the Fun One tho bc he keeps making up ideas for those funny dress up weeks schools do in the states and Ed we are teaching here so we should do as the Romans do, so to speak! (how does that work, it doesn't really as far as i know with a lot of teaching jobs but shhhhh fiction time.)

Buttons-shop related classes, any and all, including woodworking and a v basic automotive class (obvi they won't pay for a garage set up, so he has to rely on drawing and otherwise illustrating & using texts to teach.) Also serves as the lunch room monitor bc the kids are p sure the rumor that he once ate a guy is true, and no one wants to Test Him.

Jim-Gym. Took it on purely bc they think it's funny to hear the kids go 'its time for gym/Jim!' Another beloved teacher for being supportive when kids struggle with the class, and also bc if everyone has good attendance each quarter then they'll take a day to show them knife throwing (after permission slips are signed of course.)

Olu-Spanish, but defers to Jim a lot bc then he gets to talk to Jim and no he doesn't have a crush on Jim! Also occasionally bemoans to Jim for them teaching the kids to swear in Spanish. Jim finally kisses him during one such lovingly made complaint.

Wee John-Home Ec, sewing & other textile based art. One of the fave teachers bc he always has snacks in his classroom, and will let any exhausted kids nap during class so long as they turn in finished projects (first is a lil plushie, then a bigger one, finally they have to design & attempt an article of clothing. Doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect or even complete, he just wants them to try.) Once freed Stede after he accidentally sewed his finger to some fabric while mucking abt after school in the classroom.

Fang-any and all math classes. No one knows how he handles the work load, but he's always chill af abt it. Another student fave for being kind and taking extra time with kids that suck at math, or flat out have dyscalculia & require the extra tutoring as part of their IEP.

Ivan-Social Studies. He knows the kids find it boring, so he does his best to give it some extra shine by making up projects for the kids to do that are graded a little bit kinder than regular hw bc he's more concerned that they have fun (and might retain the info better as a result.) One of the kids' faves ends up being a journal assignment abt the Oregon Trail, aka write an Oregon Trail story that can be as dramatic and/or like the video game as they want.

Izzy-Head Librarian. Cannot believe they fired the library staff as well as everyone else at the school. cannot get over how little the district does to help keep up said library (books are heavily damaged & still on the shelf, new books rarely ordered, and literally the shelves are not in Dewey order. That makes a vein in his forehead twitch every day until he takes an evening to correctly label and reshelve everything.) Winds up staying late a lot to repair books, order new books (when he runs out of what little funding there is, he puts them on his own cc and just doesn't tell anyone, claiming them as charitable donations from 'an anon donor'), and otherwise do any additional upkeep to get the place up to par. Realizes halfway thru the year no one got assigned to teach the Health class, and begrudgingly takes it on as well. He teaches in a section of the library, with Mary taking over main library duties for that time. Has to deal with all the horribleness that is teaching middle schoolers that topic ("You can't all keep laughing every time I say penis or we'll never get through this chapter. And that's hell for you as much as it is for me!")

Roach-Home Ec, cooking class. also helps in the lunch room bc literally they did not actually hire any kitchen staff, the subs are told to do that too. He winds up telling the kids they can help by prepping the ingredients for their lunch in his classroom, then he'll take it all to be finished for lunchtime in the industrial kitchen. They end up loving it after the first week, bc he brings in recipes that are decently healthy but that most the kids are up to trying or already like.

Mary-painting substitute if Doug is out for a day, but mainly works alongside Izzy in the library as the assistant librarian. Yes they gossip abt Ed and Stede. Yes they have a running bet on when they'll finally announce a relationship and fill out that paperwork with HR (this immediately starts a side convo for them abt the shoddy quality of the paperwork & how slowly it gets filed. They admit to being sticklers at times, but also they're right.)

Doug-art, painting and sculpture. Always up for weird art ideas, and has the graduating grade (even if they don't take his elective course) make a mural before the end of the year. They each get a framed pic of it, and he plans to have each graduating class redo the wall each year, should he be contracted for another full year.

Jack-biology/gen science. Encourages the kids to 'really get into' the dissections. Does his best to try and get the district to agree to a field trip to the local morgue to see a full on embalming, but is told uhhhh no bud. Accidentally reveals a parentage issue for a few kids while using eye & hair color to teach Punett squares.

Lucius-Creative Writing. Has a loving feud with Pete bc most of the kids are in both their classes. Said kids have bets on if Pete or Lucius will propose to each other or not by the end of the year. Makes a point to be a safe place for any kids with writing that may point to some other issues going on in life (based off my hs lit mag teacher Dr. Brenda Werner. No joke, she saved my life as a kid, I think Lucius would be the same for his class.)

Pete-Newspaper/Yearbook. Very big on making sure stories are accurate, bc 'ppl doubt my stories a lot, so you need your details and shit in order.' The kids: ooooh he swore!!!! and promptly do not absorb this knowledge fully. But they enjoy his class bc he's chill and is happy to let them explore what options journalism can offer, and to research odder stories for internal class articles vs school paper ones (Missing: David, Where's Shelly? vs Cilantro: Should Roach Use It In Our Lunch Or Does It Taste Like Soap.)

#text post #these are somehow dumber than the first set akdnfkgngm #in my defense on the plane one ive been watching the show air disasters on Hulu for like. three days straight #so it is v much Activated Special Interest times rn for me #the teaching one got way out of hand ive spent like an hour typing that bit up alone akdnfkg #also i didn't go into the separate grade levels of each topic essentially if they teach the topic they're stuck teaching all grade levels #even if maybe that's not ideal and stretches a short staff even shorter #anyway we should pay all teachers subs or not more

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kyetalksshit · 26 days

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my dream last night was chaotic and difficult and I only remember glimpses. I was just reminded of a moment with thorns because I was checking my rune app and it mentioned poems that talked about thorns.

so I remember at one point traversing some kind of land to get... somewhere? (will go deeper in a sec) and I have this very vivid memory of, in my dream, accidentally touching thorns and getting them stuck on my right hand. it was very painful (and I almost remember physically feeling it...) and the people I was traveling with (p sure one was my cousin crystal) had to stop and turn back to help me. I unstuck the thorns from my hand as best as I could and met them halfway, incredibly distressed, but there were still thorn slivers that were stuck in my finger, and not only that but somehow the base of that finger and also a part of my wrist were wrapped super tight and cutting off circulation and physically warping my skin, even though it was just thorns. the people I was with (again, my cousin I think and maybe my little sister?) tried for a second to help but there was some kind of sound that alerted us to danger and that we had to keep going and rush to our destination, and only once we were hidden could they help get it off. so we're running and I just keep staring at my hand and freaking out and being upset that I can't detangle it myself because I can't even see the strings that are wrapped around my finger and wrist cutting off circulation. like the thorns suck but I can get those out later, these strings could make me lose my entire finger or hand???

i remember at some point getting to a safe spot (not to our destination but a hideout of sorts) and crystal (?) turned to me and explained that the thorns I touched shoot out strings of cotton when someone gets stuck in them, like a defense mechanism. she was going to try to help me detangle them but something happened that she had to focus on. but after she told me about the cotton I suddenly could see the strands I couldn't see before? it looked like a spiderweb at its thinnest, but as I started to gently unravel myself, it started to look more like floss. as it turned out, there was even more than what was just cutting off my circulation, there was also some draped around my shoulders and wrapped lightly around my arm before the intense wraps around my finger and wrist. but I DID finally get myself free before we continued on.

before that, I remember being on the interstate in a hay bale ride type thing? it was flatter than that but that's the closest I can describe it as. and I (and the few other people riding there with me) was laying flat and gripping onto the sides. weirdly, it was also on the front end of the truck which doesn't make any sense to me but yk. and at one point my cousin crystal was in a drone plane above me. I saw it and thought "omg that's probably crystal lol" but didn't say anything bc I was in a flat truck bed on the interstate, but then she backed up and I saw a camera come out and look down at me. knowing it was her, I risked letting go of the bar for a second to wave at her, and she waved back and then the dumbass just jumped straight to the road from her drone plane (which... either disappeared or had other people in it that flew it away? idk lol) and I was like whAT ARE YOU DOING YOURE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED BRO and she ran and hopped on the truck bed with me and the strangers I was on. not sure what exactly happened right after that,

but at some point I met up with family and also was waiting for a car to be given to me. I also was dressed up in business clothes and about to apply for a clerical job inside the brick building in the parking lot I saw everybody in. I was on my way inside when my car was delivered, so I walked back and then drove it into the parking spot beside my mom's car, but it kept turning funny so I kept trying and got it parked before going inside. my mom said she'd meet me at her house. when I opened the door to the building though the lights were off and I almost closed the door right back behind myself except I saw someone in there look up at me. so I opened it back up (it looked like grandma earley's house) and apologized and said why I was there. they told me to come on in. the lights stayed off but we did do an interview. I don't remember if I got the job or was told to wait or what, but it was time to leave and meet my mom at her house. I believe I completely forgot about my new car or maybe it disappeared I'm not sure, but I started walking and crystal was there again, and i'm pretty sure my little sister appeared shortly after as well to walk with us. I don't know when it turned into a run, but it may have had something to do with the weather?

although at some point I was in a truck (can't remember if I was driving or not but I think I might have been) with Heather and crystal, and we were looking for somebody specific. I'm not sure who irl but I knew them in my dream and it was very hush hush but we had to deliver a message to them or something. so we went to the meeting spot we all knew of behind a shack of a house, and when we didn't see them, we walked down the sidewalk to the place that they were supposed to be living. but the woman who answered the door didn't know who we were talking about, but she let us in anyway. the house was a bit of a maze and it was very... like political intrigue meets supernatural lol it was a dangerous place to be in and after a little while we were sure it was just a ruse and we had to escape from there. I think after that is when I got stuck on thorns while we were running.

anyway fast forward to after I unraveled myself from the "cotton" from the thorns, we go a bit further and FINALLY find my mom's house. when we get there and get inside, my mom is like omg I was worried about you getting here in this snow! and it had been a warm California day lol so we were like snow?????? and she opened the curtains to the picture window in the living room and sure as shit it was a full foot + of snow outside. she had her books out and some coffee and said something about how harsh and cold it is outside and how much she loves it. I just remember seeing the snow covering up a bag of garbage, and then looking up to stare at the icy tree branches. at one point I even tried to brush some of the snow off the front porch (we somehow entered through the back door or a side door that doesn't actually exist idk it was almost like we opened a door to a different house but the door was a portal and we just appeared at my mom's) but even though a little bit fell, I didn't actually make a dent.

and then I woke up.

#idk is this about my family trauma lol #i fully did not remember my dream at all for most of this morning but GODS have I had the worst migraine #but then seeing that poem about thorns just CLICK fully unlocked that memory for me and the rest of it I remembered as I typed this.#idk I do feel like there's something very poignant about this dream #I just am not sure exactly what #dream log

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captorcorp · 27 days

Text

THE DREAM MACHINE GAME SPOILERS (post-game rambling)

if i had a nickel every time i experienced media with an AI trying to give birth to itself in a human baby form through the protagonist's wife - i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

on a whole i'm really >:3 about this game though!!! i should've known from the title (which is why i got it ofc) but just wasn't sure if it'd live up to my expectations for either the dream aspects or the machine aspects, i think it did for both though

the dreams could've been more dream-like in logic at some times (though i feel like they usually did feel p dreamlike), though with how difficult the puzzles were already maybe it's a good thing they weren't lol i did like the environments though like the wife dreaming of being the captain of a ship where all of the workers are clones of her husband, the stressed nurse dreaming about a cool fantasy land where she's the village medic, the wfh guy dreaming having some weird cube-like dream land that nobody expected but most of it being manipulated by the machine controlling him...

decent amount of dream psychology mentioned, specifically jung's collective unconsciousness (is that a zero escape reference??? /j) and some freud mention iirc? the disk-shaped shared realm of dreams that people start from the center of and move towards the edge as they age while being able to traverse the plane between people's dreams as well is an interesting concept - feel like i haven't seen that many games come up with their own dream lore like that. at that part in the center with the prenatal barrier and baby dreams being raw potential energy and such, i hadn't heard as much about that irl so looked it up in case it was some obscure theory i hadn't heard of before but didn't find anything unfortunately ^^;

also love the ending in like chapter 5 where you can just. choose to start working with the machine instead after almost killing it, i didn't expect them to give us that option. sorry to my pregnant wife but you're saying i can inherit this dead guy's whole repertoire of dream research passed down for generations and explore the dreamscape as i wish with this cool sentient eldritch machine? fuck yeah let's start hiding the bodies /hj (jk I would go help my wife if i were victor. but i'm not i'm the player and i want to learn about dreams.)

also re: the machine itself i thought it was a neat character ^^ was a bit ??? at what it's goals were at first, bc obviously the mortons were using it to map the unconscious but then it wasn't clear if the machine also wanted to do that or had its own agenda, but self preservation of its sentience and trying to maintain its existence by leaching from the dreams of others was a good motive. and then also 🥺me when the ai is lonely and misses its friends (and accidentally kills them when they stop giving it unsuspecting residents to feed off of but dw about that)

very 👀at that bit in the 3rd floor neighbors' dreams where we found out it was trying to build itself a body in the dream world out of dream npc's organs so it could move around the dream world as it wished without the clunky tentacles that kinda just stay in one place and die. another one of those things that's like 'bro it's a dream you don't have to be that thorough about it to make it work' but i get it with the weird shared dreamscape lore this game has set up and it was a very 'bro wtf' reveal. gotta respect trying the frankenstein method

actually that makes me think. are dream npcs sentient in this universe??? i was just thinking about it like 'at least it was just stealing organs from npcs and not people' but idk how this fits with the collective unconscious lore.

also i do have to address the ending of the game besides just that 2 nickels joke (the other media was demon seed btw. was a pretty disturbing watch ^^;;). that one bit felt like the stanley parable hole ending and the other bit felt like the 2001 a space odyssey ending. the playing god part was very ??? i didn't know what to think of it at first (still not sure) and this is the only screenshot i took from that portion.

that whole final colorful shifting area with the victors of different ages reminded me of the denver meow wolf exhibit (i haven't been yet but from the pics i've seen of it on the site). then i saw the area with our mother giving birth to us and i was like. Ah. Unfortunately this game has given us a lot of experiences with climbing inside of small holes, even when they're inside other people...

was also surprised that we just took up the machine's offer to share our consciousness and stay stuck in the dream world. feel like it'd be more effective to give us some options there and have multiple endings, but i guess if it was us (machine loses too much power to survive outside of the dream) or our child (would grow up possessed by the machine irl) makes sense as a trade, our poor wife though... i do like dreams but being stuck in the dream world forever like that would be OTL i am glad the machine got to survive though

anyway my final review is. puzzles were pretty hard so thank you steam and yt walkthroughs. ending was weird, it was too metaphysical for me to fully wrap my head around but i do like the artistic vision. game on a whole is good especially when you're autistic about dreams and ai characters, played it for like 10 hours straight. dream machine is my favorite character (no surprise). why did the game make us unbirth ourselves.

misc screenshot dump:

normal teatime conversation topics

cool machine diagram

NOOO i forgot to get a picture of those fuckass pumpkins that make you lead a government. love those guys

#kcat talks #the dream machine #non-spoiler review: if you like dreams and fucked up AIs check it out >:3c #it talks about the collective unconsiousness a bunch #also some parts get really weird and the art style takes some getting used to though #i think i got it on sale forever ago for p cheap iirc #just maybe look up content warnings for uhhh. pregnancy related stuff??

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transbuck · 11 months

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Oi I would love to hear about why you didnt like that last part of TL

I mean I liked that they kept RoyJamieKeeley as friends and shit but I didnt not like Jamie forgiving his asshat of a father like not so soon at least acting like a greay father and shit.

Didn't mind the rest all that much really besides the wedding of Jane and Beard cos she is toxic af

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE END OF TED LASSO (obviously) AND NEGATIVE CRITICISM OF THE FINALE DO NOT READ IF YOU'RE GOING TO GET MAD AT ME (putting this under a read more in case it shows up in the tag)

i was totally on board with the finale up until the end. now it seems likely that what we saw, that montage, was just ted's dream of how all his friends ended up. i don't like that way of ending the show for several reasons. now, i understand they may have been trying to leave it open ended for future spin off possibilities. but they could have easily done that without all this nonsense. SO. let's get into it.

I don't love "everyone ends up perfect and happy yay nice little bow" endings. I think they're INCREDIBLY difficult to do in a satisfying way. So regardless of whether or not this was ted's dream, I find it kind of boring and unsatisfying. (Going to discuss this ignoring the aspect of this being ted's dream, i'll discuss that in another point). Some of the endings felt SO shoved in when it felt like there should be more importance placed on them. Like the Rebecca wanting to be a mother storyline. Also, in general, it felt like the show was about the push and pull of wanting to be better but that not being linear, and how even when things are low, there's life worth living and it doesn't mean things are bad. So it felt a little cheap to focus on everyone being perfectly happy and getting all the things they hoped for and wanted in a perfect little montage. (This is largely personal preference, but I do feel it cheapens some of the show's message. I just don't think it was a good way to wrap up).

Ted dreams about his friends lovely futures Definitely feels like a weird ending when just previously he told Trent to rename "The Lasso Way" bc it was never about him, and yet we end with him imagining happy endings for all his friends. Also, if you're GOING to do a "everyones stories wrapped up with a nice little bow" ending, at least commit to it. Don't make it all about Ted and what he wants for his friends.

I think Ted leaving 100% was a bad move I think there should have been some. In between. Maybe he's not head coach anymore, passing that torch to Roy, but an assistant coach who can spend off season time back in Kansas with his son. Or have Henry spend the summers with Ted. I just felt like it undermined a lot of the show for him to just leave. If they had done it in a different way, maybe I could have liked it. But ultimately it just felt. Odd.

Beard and Jane Clearly such a fucked up relationship that was in no way good and that disappoints me. Not once did they convince me that it was a good relationship. Beard should have gotten off the plane because he'd found a home, a life for himself, one he can have without Ted, who he's been linked to since his early twenties!

Ultimately, everything was both "too neat" and unsatisfying. I love an open ending, where not everything's perfect, but life goes on.

There were things I liked! Colin's ending was perfect, love Roy being the new head coach, the fans getting shares of the club was great, love Keeley coming to Rebecca with a women's soccer program initiative! All things that could have been done without this weird dream thing.

#god how do people tag their negative posts #its not really anti anything #except the final 10 minutes of the finale or w/e #and i dont want to tag it discourse bc im not trying to get anyone up in my business about this #i guess having it under a read more is good enough??#sigh

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eunoiaflow3r · 3 years

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when worlds collide - h.p. x gn!avenger!reader

a/n: bahahahahaha no one reads harry x reader lmaoo you don’t have to tell me - i know. but still, i thought this was a cute idea and i went with it. hope you enjoy :)

not edited.

also: timelines don’t match up bc i don’t want to do the math so harry is like 20 - 21 and your like 19 - 20 in 2020. Civil War and everything on didn’t happen. Fred didn’t die.

gn = gender neutral

warning(s): “language!” - captain america.

word count: 3.1k

request(ed): no.

summary: stephen sends y/n to a strange new place with...wizards?

————————————-&—————————————

Never doubt Stephen Strange. That's something that pretty much everyone has accepted. Never second guess the wizard man. Usually you'd agree. Usually you'd just let the man babble about whatever he needed to and then go about your day.

Not now.

The fuckery.

Now you were here (wherever here was) after some flashes of orange and a "be careful." Did he even do the spell right? Is this really where you were supposed to be?

It was dark, and dirty and you just wanted to go home and not talk to anyone so you turned yourself invisible.

You were born with your powers - you think. You were adopted so you wouldn't know where your powers came from. All you know is that one day your parents couldn't find you, even though you were right there. Instead of thinking you were some kind of alien and throwing you out to labs, they helped you control it the best you could.

It was difficult at first, all things considered, but you got through. You discovered you had another power as well. Force fields. Those came in handy during the battles. (You helped where you could), and Tony Stark took you in afterwards as his own. He helped you create your suit, and your name, and discover more about your powers, he was basically a dad to you.

Your parents were a little hesitant letting you join the Avengers, but once they realized this is what you were meant to do, and you had people just like you protecting you, they couldn't keep you from that. They just couldn't.

So here you were, invisible, in some dark and creepy alley. There were doors either side of you, so you got out of the way considering they could open and smack you in the face at any given moment. You heard loud voices and laughing and cheering from both ends of the alley so you walked towards the one in front of you.

The voices were so loud and echoey that you really couldn't focus on anything else. Maybe that's why you didn't hear a boy behind you trip and fall into you from behind.

"I'm so sorry." he said helping you up.

You turned around to help him, he got awfully dirty, and searched for his glasses that fell off his face.

Once standing, he took out a stick, waved it over him, and all of a sudden the dirt and gravel was gone.

"How did you do that?" You were no stranger to magic, but this was something you've never seen before. And why would he do it in front of you? For all he knew, you were an unknowing human.

"What?" He asked eyebrows furrowed together, accent strong.

"With the stick."

He chuckled shoving the stick back in his cloak.

"The stick." He smiled and looked you up and down. "It's a wand. You must not be from around here."

"Yeah, what tipped you off?" You noticed the lightning bolt scar on his head. You wondered how he got it.

"The accent, the clothes, the inability to recognize a simple wand, the ability to be here, not recognizing me, and wait - where is your cloak?"

"Cloak?"

"You were just invisible a moment earlier but I don't see your cloak anywhere."

"I don't have one. I can make myself invisible without a piece of fabric or your fancy stick." You say sarcastically. Were you flirting?

"Handy." He grins. "The name's Harry Potter."

He holds his hand out for you to shake. "Y/N L/N."

He asks you if you want to talk somewhere besides a dark dirty alley. You agreed. It took some convincing though to let him use his stick to clean the clothes you had on, but to change your outfit to something less, standout-ish.

When you felt the witch hat on your head you immediately snatched it off your head and glared at him.

He just laughed.

Once out of the alley, you breathed in the now clean air, and was mesmerized. People were bustling in and out of small shops, animals were flying and chirping around their owners, children were running around with their friends and siblings, and people were waving sticks, or wands, just like Harry used.

"C'mon, this way." He smiled at your awestruck face. It reminded him of when he first arrived with Hagrid all those years ago.

He brought you inside a coffee shop, and sat you at a booth near the window knowing you'd probably want to still look outside at the new scenes.

After ordering, and a few moments of silence as you looked around, you decided to ask some questions.

"Where am I?"

"We're in Diagon Alley. It's like an outside mall."

"I mean like, planet? I guess?"

"Earth."

"Earth?"

"Well, more specifically London. Diagon Alley."

"London?! I'm in London?!"

"You've never been? To Earth? Or London?"

You rolled your eyes silently cursing Strange. "I'm from Earth. The United States, actually. I just wish he'd put me on a fucking plane or something instead of making it seem like I was going to Mars."

"He?" Harry was very curious.

You looked into his green eyes, your mind wandering. The guy in front of you was very attractive. His dark hair complimented his eyes, and his glasses made him even more attractive.

"You guys are wizards right?"

"Really? What gave you that impression?" He asks sarcastically. "The sticks, the pointy hats, or the big bowl with green liquid sitting outside?”

You rolled your eyes. "Very funny. It's not my fault you live into the stereotype of brewing potions in your cauldrons -"

"Oh well I can only assume you're one of those Avengers from the States, yeah?" He grins. "You guys are all over the news."

"Yes, sure -"

"And don't one of you wear capes and another shoot lasers or lightning or whatnot? Sounds very stereotypical to me."

You laugh as the waitress brings over your drinks and muffins. You thank her. "No, well yes, that's Strange and Thor, but that's besides the point -"

"Well of course it's strange." He grins and winks and you over his mug. He was purposely annoying you and found great joy in it.

"Anyway," you sigh getting back to the point. "Do you guys have a Wizard here, like a powerful, trusting, all-knowing kind of guy?"

His eyes dropped slowly and his smile dimmed for a moment before slowly widening once again.

"Had. His name was Dumbledore."

"Our guy is Stephen Strange. Or Dr. Strange. He sent me here, and I'm not sure why."

"Hmmm." He hums setting down his mug. "Are the states in danger? Were you sent here on a secret quest that would put you through tough trials that would risk your life but would ultimately save everyone you've ever loved so you just have to do it?"

You were in a silent shock. "Uhm. No, not that I'm aware of, no."

"Well then perhaps your Wizard Strange is playing matchmaker."

"Matchmaker?"

"Well you were sent here weren't you?" You nod. "Arrived outside the exact place where I was and I just happened to bump into you? Sounds like a set-up to me."

"Or a coincidence."

"I'd like to think it was fate that I bump into the most attractive person I've ever seen and they don't know who I am and won't judge me 'cause of my past." He took a bite of his muffin.

"Should I be worried?"

"I guess you'll have to figure that out yourself." He winks.

You decide to eat your muffin as well. It was a comfortable silence until you looked out of the window and noticed a guy crouching down behind a cauldron...with a camera.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"Why is there a man outside taking pictures of you?"

His eyes widened. "Oh shit." He whispered. "Here." He took out a baseball cap and put it over your head, hiding your face from the camera.

He gets out of his seat quickly pulling you along with him to the back of the shop but before you could say anything he had his wand pulled out.

Next thing you saw was a couch and living room.

"Wow." You panted. "What a way to bring a girl home."

"I apologise Y/N, I block them out so much I forget they're even there and now they've seen you, and have a story and -"

"Wait, wait, wait, are you wanted for murder or something?"

Harry walks over to his bookshelf and pulls out a rather large book. After opening up on the table, he waved his wand over it and beckons you over to read it.

'Boy who lived.'

'Golden boy defeats Voldemort'

'winner of Triwizard tournament'

And there was so much more… 'Harry Potter' in bold just strewn across the pages. His whole life story.

Your eyes widen at everything. "So both and neither. War hero. How come I've never heard of you? Or any of this?"

He smiles at the pages fondly, running his fingers across the letters and reminiscing on his times at Hogwarts.

"Unlike you Avengers, we like to keep our business private and quiet. We don't like prying eyes."

You scoff. "Not our fault we have alien invasions every year."

Harry agreed and for the rest of the night you sat on his couch talking and sometimes arguing, over every little thing. It felt like you two had known each other forever.

You're not sure when, but you fell asleep there and woke with your head on his chest and his arm wrapped around your waist. You're not sure how the two of you ended up this way, and you realized you were practically strangers, but you didn't want to move. You just wanted to tangle your fingers through his dark hair.

But you didn't. Instead you stared at his closed eyes, and focused on his long, dark, eyelashes that fluttered a little from time to time. You thought about how you could get used to this. Waking up with his arm wrapped around you.

You told him last night that if he was actually a serial killer, and wanted to kill you that you had a whole team of people who would rip him limb from limb. He had no doubts and looked actually scared of your threat.

You thought about what it'd be like to live here among people like you.

Stomach grumbling, you decided to get up and see if he had anything you could make for him. It's the least you could do. His face turned when you left his arms, but you quickly pulled the blanket over him so he would be able to sleep a little longer.

You found his bathroom, and washed your face. In your backpack was a toothbrush and some toothpaste so you brushed your teeth, fixed your hair, and got dressed.

By the time you got out of the bathroom, you noticed Harry was still sleeping so you went into the kitchen and tried to find anything remotely close to breakfast foods. By the look of his inventory, you could tell he was very good at cooking but hadn’t been to the store in a while. He did have some eggs and toast though so you decided to make that.

In the middle of it, you got a phone call from Strange.

“Strange?”

“Harry Potter.” he says.

“What?” you were so confused as to how Stephen knew ANYTHING.

“You’re in his place, we've been tracking you.”

“So I guess we should probably have a talk about privacy? I don’t know, it just seems like something we should discuss you know? Cause usually people can respect that - especially people who just DUMP you here in the first place -“

“Calm down that’s what the mission was. While you were sleeping, we searched the place with a camera we put on you and he’s not who we thought he was. You completed the mission L/N. Great job.”

“Is he a danger?”

“Not necessarily. Just making sure your fine is all.”

“What -?”

He hung up.

Why wouldn’t Strange tell you his intentions? Why would he let you stay here if he thought Harry might have been a bad guy? Why would he risk that?

Right as you hung up Harry Potter walked into the kitchen with his lenses in between his shirt - he was cleaning his glasses.

His dark hair hung over his eyes but his eyebrows were raised.

“You made breakfast?”

“It was the least I could do. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but thank you for letting me stay.”

He smiled and put his glasses back on. In doing so his gray shirt lifted and you could see his abs. You turned away a blushed.

“It was no big deal. Thank you for making breakfast, love. You didn’t have to.”

You didn’t say anything and instead placed both of your finished plates on the dining room table. He followed you and sat down immediately digging in.

“These are the best eggs i’ve ever eaten Y/N thank you.”

You smiled in response but then frowned remembering your conversation with Strange. You should probably tell Harry.

“So,” you cleared your throat. “You were wrong.”

He gave you a look that meant “about?”

“Dr. Strange - the wizard I work with - he likes to check out potential threats and make sure that ya’know - the earth stays safe and everything. Je can kind of see the future and its propabilities. He did the same thing with Thor and his brother Loki.”

“Okay, go on.”

You cringed. “And so he called me and told me that he sent me here so he could see you? I don’t know I guess he saw you as a threat and wanted to make sure you weren’t.”

You looked at Harry but his face was clear of any and every emotion. He just continued to eat his eggs. It was silent.

You ate a bit at your eggs too until he spoke up which made you look up.

“I can’t say I’m very surprised honestly. With everything you guys manage to fuck up there I’d wanna know if someone else was about to create shit problems too.”

You sighed with relief. He wasn’t mad.

“I’m sorry really Harry, I didn’t even know.”

“No yeah it’s fine. I get it. I still think he sent you specifically for a reason though. There’s just no way we aren’t soul mates or something.”

“Oh shut up Potter.”

He smiled. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Gee your head must hurt.”

He squints at you jokingly. “You should let me take you out. I can show you around today. Y’know, so you can see what wizards are like.”

“Is this a date?”

His face flushes red and he looks down at his plate. “Yeah, yeah it’s a date.”

And a date it was.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Harry! Again?!” You practically screamed. Harry called it aparation but you call it hell. You let it go the first time but damn. He barely even warned you, just took your hand, held it tight, pulled you close, and waved his wand.

It was teleportation. Something you’ve never ever done before.

“Fucking hell Potter I’m going to murder you.”

“And Strange was worried about your safety? This is like your 4th time threatening to end my life and besides, it wasn’t even that bad.”

You rolled your eyes.

Throughout the day Harry showed you all sorts of things you’d never ever seen before. This consisted of every flavor jelly beans (and by every flavor they really meant every flavor), a chocolate frog, and never ending bubble gum. And that was just on the candy side.

He took you inside this joke shop ran by two of his friends from his old school he called hogwarts. They were twins that went by the names of Fred and George. The only twins you had ever met was Wanda and Pietro but telling the story of Pietro’s death seemed to sour Harry’s mood but excite the twins. The fact that he sacrificed himself for a little boy made him a hero in their eyes. They begged you to tell them more stories.

By the end of the day you went back to Harry’s place and you were exhausted. You can’t believe all that you’ve seen and eaten. How was this stuff even possible? How was it all hidden? You were amazed.

Harry was glad to see you had a good day and glad that he had met you. When you got back, he told you that you could stay another night...and perhaps in the bed instead of the couch. He hadn’t meant it in a dirty way but that didn’t stop you from laughing until tears came out of your eyes. He was so awkward at times. Once he had to ask if it was okay to take your hand while you were in the street and it was so cute how he couldn’t really find the words even for something as simple as hand holding.

“Harry?”

“Hm?”

You both were laying in his bed facing the other.

“I had a lot of fun today. I feel like i’ve known you forever.”

He grinned from ear to ear and was glad that you couldn’t see him. He would have been beyond embarrassed if you’d seen how unmistakably happy that made him.

“I had fun with you Y/N. You’re great company.”

You were silent for a moment.

And another.

“Harry?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

You were scared of his response and your heart was practically beating out of your chest. What if he was just being friendly? What if he just wanted to be friends? You would have made a huge fool of yourself. You were going to turn away embarrassed until his hand came up to your face and slipped onto your cheek. He was so warm. His lips pressed against yours for a moment and then he pulled away.

After a moment he reconnected and moved his lips against yours slowly. Your hand went to the back of his neck and toyed with his hair. He groaned into your mouth. You smiled and scooted even closer to him. All you could hear was the sound of your breathing and kissing. You didn’t want to pull away but you had to.

“Harry.” you said practically breathless.

“Yeah.” he was breathless too.

“I want to show you my world. You should come see New York.”

“Yeah? You wanna show me those alien invasions and robot attacks?”

You laughed and snuggled into Harry. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed your neck.

“Mhmm.”

“I’d love to see it.”

Tags:

@romance-geek @gooseyhouse

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sunflowerslut · 3 years

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Literally just gonna copypaste some tweets here bc I need someone to talk to about this with me lol I am fixating!

CAUTION SQUID GAME SPOILERS AHEAD

I do feel like squid game ending was too neat and tidy. In terms of character relationships it felt too coincidental. Like yeah of course the *one* character who we didn't actually *see* die isn't dead. Which is fine but I just didn't see the point in having player one end up being the master. Also didn't see the point in having the Front Man turn out to be the police officers missing brother (seemed p obvious to me way before the reveal and yet - why? If the commentary is that the police are powerless against wealthy elites, that doesn't rely on them being brothers.) My only thought is that it's to demonstrate that the game is a corrupting force, that those who participate in it are doomed to perpetuate it (which would change slightly how I feel about the ending but more on that later).

Also, while it is possible to conceive that Il-nam participated in the games for the genuine experience that even $ can't buy, I really can't imagine anyone that rich successfully pretending to be that poor. And it's difficult to tell whether or not he was ever actually delusional and how that changes the story. But I guess a brain tumor could potentially cause a significant personality change. I just felt like he started out a really strong character but didn't understand his bit at the very end at all (in terms of like, character development, motivation, etc. Is the point that it doesn't even matter bc he's rich? But if he is THAT rich, he'd have been able to do something about the brain tumor omfg!)

And the shows super popular and everyone's writing articles like "yeah this is just such a great depiction of the horrors of capitalism and how as individuals we can't change the system and literally everything is rigged against poor ppl" and I'm not saying the show didn't show that at all but I don't feel like most general audiences are really able to pick out the nuance that's necessary for it to be the critique of capitalism they seem to be trying to go for. bc despite everything, it does feel like Gi-hun is ultimately the winner bc he is morally more compassionate or more empathetic than the others. but most of it is just fucking luck. And we can't forget that he really is kind of a coward and asshole (re: first episode) and despite wanting to do right by some people he has a long history of. Not actually being compassionate. And if he hasn't been compassionate under the stress of daily poverty, why does he become compassionate under the stress of the games?

The audience is made to interpret him turning back on the plane as him returning to the game because he believes he can do something to stop it, right? I guess if you interpret the games as being a corrupting force, maybe the point of him turning around is in the tragedy of it. Bc Gi-hun really wants to believe that he as an individual can put an end to it, when everything in the world has shown him (and the audience) over and over that he can't. Except, the music and various other cinematic choices make his choice seem Heroic and Valid, rather than horrifying. Or at least that was my interpretation.

I'm sure there are many aspects of my critique that would be greatly changed if I had a better understanding of South Korean culture!! I know certain character tropes especially can get lost in translation so I wonder if that's where my not understanding of some character motivations comes from.

Anyways, if you want to respond or just comment about ur own thoughts watching it I will love u forever lol. You can also msg me idc I just want to know what more ppl are making of this show.

#squid game #squid game spoilers #spoilers #also feel free to correct me if i got something wrong i just finished it last night and then barely slept 👀

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pioneeroverc-my-5000th-sideblog · 3 years

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plan from July:

-Drawabox lessons 4-5 (two weeks each - 2 pages of insects per day) ✗ finished lesson 4 except for the very last insect drawing

-finish 100 heads ✓

-studies for Shepard: textures, hands, draw mass relay, red/blue lighting ✓ (kinda - mostly focussed on hands though)

-study people interacting with everyday objects (hands) ✓

ACTIONABLES: use more references✓, plan out multiple light sources better✓, clean up lineart✗, reference faces/necks/hands in particular✓, figure out a less cartoony way of drawing eyebrows✗, try to define edges on faces more when painting✓, keep going with composition✗, try to do background in two sittings (?), study textures more (ongoing)✓, more figure drawing mannequinising stuff✓

Overview of August:

finished 100 heads challenge, nearly finished lesson 4 of DAB. Drawing all the insects has helped me analyse stuff better and also has improved my sense of 3D->2D space. Redid a few of them until they made more sense, which I think is probably a very important thing to keep doing at this stage of development.

Figure drawing improving. Need to keep trying to mannequinise them instead of falling back on ~the intuitive way~. Path of great resistance but great reward. Gave self permission to focus on interesting bits and not worry about finishing each figure. Thinking about 3D and hip/torso orientation is helping my unreferenced sketches too, which is nice.

Drew a bunch of hands but they were kinda too sketchy to actually help go to something more precise. Quality of hands in my finished art varied WILDLY this month, although they mostly look 'ok'.

Put the stuff I learned about head structure into practice with a painting - was good to actually try out defining nose/eye/lip planes. Need to keep practicing this, though, and not sure how much focus I'll be able to give it. aaaaa

During the painting, I also used lots of references (although my ability to use the information was pretty limited), tried to represent texture and learned how to blend in a more smooth way. Even though I'm not super happy with the way the finished thing turned out, I did get presented with a lot of new information - hopefully I'll retain some of that.

September plan:

finish DAB Lesson 5 (multiple pages per day if possible so I don't lose momentum)

study whatever the next step in the Radiorunner curriculum is

do 30min figure drawing/other studies at least 15/30 days

finish that damn comic

sketch out/thumbnail every prompt fill for October prompt lists

probably a busy month, but I got this!!

notes and improvements from finished stuff:

orochimaru: hands SUPER off and ended up being 'eh, kinda looks like a hand, whatever', forearm connection is kinda fucked, lines too messy/pointy to look graceful, hands don't really look like they're interacting enough

good points: tried several iterations on a difficult pose, arm movement is relatively clear, sense of energy

kylo: values WAY off & look washed out (I THINK because the background has more contrast??), hand is completely fucked up (too wide and lighting doesn't make sense on it), glove doesn't look like leather, mouth too low, cutout effect isn't done well (+ it isn't obvious whether it is a flat graphic effect or a physical sheet in front of him - drawing a thin shadow on his face didn't help here), level of messiness in foreground/background and kylo is uncomfortably different

good points: I really do like the colours (hues) even though the values are messed up, nice sense of energy from brushstrokes, the detail fadeoff in the shadows looks intentional (I mean, it was)

femshep: shadow values went too dark too quickly bc I wasn't sure how to handle multiple light sources, sunk-cost fallacy w/ left eye and/or nose (facial features are in different perspectives), overall shapes not interesting, neck connection to body is wrong, near shoulder looks dislocated even though I took a photo reference (possibly related to the neck being wrong - or maybe the strap going across her chest is oriented wrong too & flattened out), background looks messy, composition is boring, clothing folds aren't realistic, shading is too soft

good points: at least there IS some texture to everything, I LEARNED HOW TO BLEND, facial features are overall painted pretty well, nice transition between lightsources on face, hair texture and placement of texture looks really good, somehow the hand came out looking 3D with minimal effort, tried to do a lot of things I had 0 experience with and learned a lot

ACTIONABLES: CLEAN UP LINEART, reference/learn about neck-body connection & shoulders, mannequinise figures, take own clothing reference photos for exact pose instead of trying to abstract existing images (not skilled enough to do this yet), draw hands, study leather texture in particular (since it's a common material), start drawing in greyscale again

#end of month #spiders #insects

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imjustaboredfan · 5 years

Text

I guess this is kinda like a secret letter

Hi love,

don't know when you're reading this or if you're gonna read it at all but I'm writing it anyway because I need to get this off my chest. Also you're the only one who knows about my Tumblr so you know this is for you.

(besides, this app is dying so who cares what I post).

Where to start? I guess that trip to Rome was the beginning of everything, even though you'd been in my mind for months before that. Seeing you in every other class (because your attendance was pretty much non-existent tbh) made my day. There were days in which my anxiety was so bad the only reason I wanted to go class was because I would (or at least hope to) see you. I'd spent whole lessons just fantasising about us talking or discussing some thoughts on philosophy class. Even the tiniest interactions made me so happy, you don't even know.

That's why I still wonder what would have happened if I had never got on that plane, or went up to your room on the last night or agreed to that coffee on a Saturday afternoon.

Those days in the Italian capital now genuinely feel like a dream. I spent the seven days with butterflies in my stomach for just having you closer and noticing something was going on between us.

I'll never forget that feeling.

You already know I had that fanfic kinda dream where there was some problem with our hotel rooms and we had to "sadly" share one and we ended hooking up on the shower. I'm not proud, ok? But don't dare deny it's not funny to think about now.

I was so so nervous when you walked me home after that coffee and you stayed on my building entrance. The thought of you just being polite and the fear of making it all up in my head crossed my mind like a thousand times. I kept repeating myself "nothing's gonna happen, he's just making sure you get home safe, it's all in your head".

Until it happened. You just stayed there, staring at me, slowly approaching me, reducing the distance between our lips, your hand grabbing my hip. I don't know if you noticed but my hands where shaking. When I went up the stairs I stayed there for a while before entering my house because I just couldn't believe it. You, you of all people, just kissed me on my front door. You, the boy I had had a massive crush for months. This wasn't the kinda thing that happens to me. I pinched my skin a couple times searching for proof that I was dreaming it all, that it all was another stupid dream. But it wasn't, it was pretty damn real.

Since that 30th of March I've realized some things. I've realized how cloudy the sky is usually and how difficult it is to see the stars. I've realized that I actually like bad bunny's music and how much peace it brings me to just lay down with you and run my fingers through your hair. I've realized I'm actually into Tarantino's films and how pointless it is to tell you to not tickle me because you do it anyway (although I do the same thing to u so I actually kinda get it bc I love your laugh when I tickle u).

I've realized how songs can remind you of someone and teleport you to some places (your dinning room for example). I've realized I need to express my thoughts, that it is ok to say no, that I shouldn't always agree to whatever the other person says, that I don't have to use sex as a reward (which are things I didn't do before and put me in some bad situations I'll explain to you someday). Basically I've realized what a healthy relationship is. And how much better and happy I am now.

I've realized how funny and embarrassing it is to drink peach licor at seventeen. I've realized it's not that hard to make friends and to be more open and friendly. I've realized I love going to museums.

I've realized what intimacy truly is. I had never been so comfortable with anyone ever (I'm not just talking about sex but on all levels). I've realized it is ok to cry, even in front of people, that I should talk about my feelings as a way to let the crap go away. I've realized how insane it is that you talk about me with the people in your life (kinda normal since I'm your girlfriend but it is still crazy to me).

Also, as dumb as it may sound, I've realized that I am lovable. Yes, it still crosses my mind the thought of you getting tired of me or meeting someone much more interesting or prettier or smarter at any time. It's not a secret how insecure I can be sometimes. But you've proven to me more than once how much you love and value me and I think it's time I start truly believing it.

And most important, every day I'm realizing how much I love and care about you —It's really gonna sound cliche but the more days that pass the more I love you...— staying away from you for a few weeks has really proven to me how important you are in my life and how much I care about you. I'm having fun here but there's been too many days without your kisses and hugs already and I can't wait to get home.

Yes, it hurt me a little to know you thought me cheating on you was some kind of possibility and that's what made me wrote this. I wanted to emphasize what I told you the last night we spent together. When I'm with you I forget about anything else. My feet rise up from the floor as if I am flying in some kind of dream.

Because that's what you look like to me still. A dream. Something unbelievable. I still find hard to believe you choose to spend time with me and you having me as your girlfriend honestly feels insane (maybe that's why I asked you to repeat it for me on the phone the other day, hearing it in your voice is priceless). I would never betray your trust like that. "Impossible" I told you, and that answer hasn't changed.

I've also realized how seeing you smile and laugh and feeling joy, makes me feel it too. I want to experience all kind of things together. I wanna really get to know you. When I'm with you life doesn't seem so scary anymore. You make me wanna be reckless.

I'm writing this in Asturias, 762 km away from you, holding one of your T-shirts and counting the days left to see you again.

Love, Sara

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