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kane-the-fed-pinkerton-tulpa · 6 months

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not cancelling or calling for a boycott but in light of evidence actually materializing about tsr's author im not sure im going to continue to run this blog

the things presented and allegations don't fall into 'truly awful/shut the whole thing down right this instant' imo but more and more "serial asshole (from just ass)/weird things about non-gay mlm" territory.

im not posting sources or planning on discussing these things (as again they're not EXTREME), only on what i do next regarding this blog. if you're concerned/interested in what's being said, go to twitter and look up the author's username. there are a handful of threads compiling this stuff.

this isn't a call to action or indictment (see the words allegations and evidence presented) and the author or echo project hasn't responded. there's more context to just screenshots, but even then there's a sufficient amount 'mmhh this is odd' stuff even if it's all explained 'with' a full contextual analysis IMO

im choosing to step back and see where things go/if anything changes or is at least said/acknowledged.

The situation is complicated too because a lot of things posted were either outright fabricated and up to taste/hyperbole, or completely out of the scope (IMO) of whether or not something is "problematic" . there's also shades of grey to the things that have happened that i witnessed personally (so its something im willing to discuss)

ie fat murdoch edit: the image was, very much so, imo a piece of fat fetish art. (this isnt an assignment of moral good/bad. its a statement of subjective fact). an admin of a server (tsrs author) asked OP to move it to a thread dedicated to fat fetish material. IMO, he was kinda rude about it, but the words "kinda rude" are key. OP reacted negatively, but IMO with hyperbole, so the situation got heated.

So while this isn't something truly terrible, to me, and the other allegations and evidence are more serious (but not EXTREME), there's been enough of instances of "hey this is kinda odd/rude" for things to remain comfortable for me.

ill be blunt and ill say that ever since i saw interactions with the author, he's looked like kinda of an asshole. i think he has some interesting things to say and some unique viewpoints on some events/things that have happened and shares those in an interesting way (outside of being an author for this vn i really enjoy) so i just dealt with him being an asshole by rolling my eyes or talking in closed/private instances and going "oh my gawd he's an ass lawl" and moving on with me life. most of the time he's pedantic and kinda whiney in online discourse BUT i say this in his defense because I feel like some of the allegations/evidence are chalked up to how he reacts negatively and not outright demonstrable actions/beliefs

maybe that's a copt out? maybe these patterns mean something or more? i dont know. though, with things shown to me, and things prior, I don't think we have a case of "cancel this man's entire career, body of work, and banish him from the internet and entire furry community immediately and forever!"

i think not wanting to associate with him or his work is understandable. i think stopping and looking and thinking, and waiting for a response is reasonable. I don't think harassment campaigns or like genuine bullying is reasonable (at the point we're at. if it comes out tomorrow he's, idk, fucking killed someone maybe we can do that)

There's some other things i find distasteful about the situation too, but this post is long enough. i'm hoping we can act like adults about where we find ourselves as a fan community though. Including as Echo Project fans, TSR fans, FVN fans, and even as members of the wider Furry Community

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haveyoureadthistransbook · 2 months

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idk how much you care about the accuracy of the polls but im always stuck because often i haven’t heard of the book but then I’ll read your description and think “oh i would like to read this”—but which of the last two poll options do i pick? I think usually i pick “never heard of it” if I’ve read the description and don’t care to read the book, and “no but I’d like to” if your post brought the book to my attention and now im interested in reading it. maybe I’m being too pedantic but i wonder what your thoughts are

Hi, so I personally I often vote like you do (since I don't know many of the books submitted). I see the "no" vote as a "I know it, but it doesn't sound interesting to me/not something I would read etc", "no, but I'd like to" for things I want to read whether or not I heard from it first from this poll or knew of it before but haven't gotten around to it and "never heard of it" if I've never heard of it & probably will not read it.

But if you interpret the polls in a different way, I think it's completely fine to vote your way as well. While I enjoy seeing the variety in poll replies, what I'm really interested in are peoples comments & tags & submissions. I think that's the most interesting thing for me.

I hope this helps.

#not a poll #anon #ask

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kairospy · 7 months

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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @moondal514 (im a bit late my bad)

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

37,248

3. What fandoms do you write for?

All for the Game is my bread and butter, but i did write one for the Marauders

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it takes two(but you and i are one) (AFTG / 13.6K) - the dynamic between neil, abram and nathaniel, delving a bit into the DSM-V because i am pedantic and a psych student

the ticking of a heart (AFTG / 5.3K) - andreil after a bad episode. hurt/comfort

genesis' wane (AFTG / 9.5K) - the twinyards

Owl Light (Marauders / 8.6K) - wolfstar with background jegulus but using fancy words

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do!!! i respond 99% of the time mostly because getting them makes my day (and week) so i should let the commenter know that

them: "really liked this!"

me: "hey just letting you know you made my fucking year and im no longer mentally ill so thanks for that" :)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

pf… Owl Light or it takes two

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the ticking of a heart starts gut-wrenching but ends rather fluffy? so that one.

god i really have to post more

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i've gotten a "critique" and a bookmarks rating that's since been deleted. i would've been offended hadn't i found it funny

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i… could? the thing is my writing's very much all nonsensical flowery prose and metaphors so i fear i'd get lost in the dramatics of it all instead of actually describing that they're fucking

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i do not (yet?)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I've had art stolen (posted without credit) but not a fic

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had many suggestions but i've yet to take someone up on the offer mostly because it would feel like having someone do a job for free and morally that feels a bit wrong

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

lord knows we've tried @butallmystars

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Andreil takes the cake and gold, silver goes to probably jerejean (because it's my current hyperfixation), and bronze to jegulus…maybe? (the fandom has made me resent them so much perhaps i should take the medal away)

honorary mentions go to wolfstar, jily & drarry

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

…yes

16. What are your writing strengths?

um flowery depictions of the mundane? idk i like talking like a thesaurus while getting my point across with excessive metaphors

That and characterization judging by what others have told me

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plot

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

if you know that language or have a way to fact check it with someone other than google and the demon you accidentally summoned writing that gibberish, yes. 100%

otherwise, i'd say to use things like "he said in french" / "he muttered something in undecipherable german" if it's from the pov of someone who doesn't know the language

BUT do as you please, at the end of the day the point comes across, we're all here to have a good time not a long time, and people who don't know the language find it compelling :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

…next question?

(on ao3 it was AFTG)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

probably it takes two (but you and i are one) but i honestly forget what they're about once i've posted them

No pressure tagging (apologies if you’ve already done this I haven’t been keeping track ): @butallmystars (suffer with me evelyn) & @soliloquy-dawn

#kairospy answers #ao3 #kairospy recs #aftg fic #aftg fic recs #all for the game #aftg #aftg andreil #andreil fanfic

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splattermouth · 1 year

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Actually, I've more questions: you mentioned that Volo and Val eventually got to collecting the plates— what exactly got the ball rolling with that? Was it related to the spooky plate, or was it something else?

And how did those two collecting the plates interfere with the overall mission of the kids that Arceus sent?

What exactly does Missingno do to a person that it possesses? Like, how does it affect the very essence of their being and then some? (This is kind of a self-indulgent question, you don't have to answer if you don't want to since I also have a Missingno oc and went into detail for that bc I love existentialism)

I think them trying to collect the plates was something they were always trying to do. (And by always, I mean once Val breaks down and admits to Volo he thinks Arceus sent him to Hisui. Volo might have already been plate hunting by this point, knowing they had Some ties to Arceus, but I don’t think he’d met Giratina just yet. Val falls months/maybe half a year before the rift opens up over Mount Coronet after all. Sorry the timeline for all these different events is still screwy and nebulous, I’m still piecing things together myself lol)

And I’m also not sure how much the kids interfere atm honestly! Rei and Akari, friends from another time, both take the role of the player character, but I don’t think Val would encounter them all that much to have a strong opinion on them. He thinks they’re normal sweet kids, not like they did anything wrong being sent here. Volo interacts with them the usual amount, nothing out of the ordinary.

Because of that, I don’t think the confrontation with Volo at Spear Pillar happens either, at least not traditionally. Like I think Rei and Akari are the ones to close the rift and calm Dialga/Palkia, but I don’t think any Volo postgame happens with them. I think that’s a Val and Volo thing. You could interpret that as Missingno’s presence altering the current timeline and throwing the plot into whack, and that’s a fun thought, but idk. I think it’s more just Val ends up having to deal with Volo’s delusions instead of the kids. Like atm, I think Rei and Akari’s presence is mostly fuel for Volo’s gradually degrading morals.

AND AAH I’ve actually just recently talked about what Missingno IS and how it works in relation to The Horror That Came to Hisui here!

But long story short, Missingno are either scrapped ‘content’ or mutations/aberrations that occur through spacetime distortions and tears. Dialga and Palkia generally clean up these holes in reality pretty quick, but not always quick enough to prevent anomalies from settling in.

Missingno thrive in corrupted environments. The young and fresh, carefully crafted world Arceus is currently watching over is built so there is no room and no way for It's old, unfinished, generally broken creations such as Missingno to thrive. But Arceus is not a Perfect god, and It has not built a Perfect world, and with a suitable host, a Missingno can get a foot in the door. The longer it stays with a host, the more powerful it gets, and the harder it is to dispel. Like how the longer you hold onto and use glitches and glitch pokemon in game, the more at risk you are for the whole experience to fall apart.

Anyway, Missingno doesn’t necessarily Possess a person (even though i technically say that a lot it doesnt it doesnt im sorry i misled you im pedantic), it more steadily Fuses with a person. The Missingno’s personality and ideals become one with the host’s, and in most cases, an entirely new ‘being’ is made. In Val and Missingno’s case: Jacred. Jacred is gleeful and fun-loving and unwittingly cruel, but also very much still loves Volo like Val loved him. And in knowing Volo’s desire to understand the universe around him and his place in it, Jacred will routinely show Volo things he did not at all ever want to know about the world he inhabits. It’s fun. Jacred really did say ‘know the unknowable, boy’ <3

Physically, Missingno naturally warps and distorts the body in odd ways. Smiles and eyes can seem too big, limbs and necks appear stretched, skin sometimes seems prehensile? Skin that shifts and ripples and ‘moves’ on its own. A host's movements sometimes come with afterimages. Colors and lighting on the host can appear unnatural, too bright or too dull. Physical contact with the host brings slight, but still sharp static sensations. Sometimes portions of the body seem to ‘bleed’ and blur together. All of these distortions happen randomly, and all for split seconds at a time. Blink and you miss it occurrences. Making those nearby wonder if any of what they saw was even real. If Missingno is corrupting the host or simply ones own vision.

And again, the longer Missingno remains in it’s host, the more it fuses with them- the more frequent and extreme the distortions become, the more it’s able to affect the environment around it and the people and pokemon that inhabit it.

I distinctly remember reading a comment on some video about pokemon glitches, and it described how when a glitch pokemon did enough damage to its opponent, the sprite of said opponent would look like it’d just been ‘shattered’, and i think abt that a Lot in relation to Jacred tbh. I will not elaborate on what that could possibly mean for Jacred OR for Volo.

#snap snips #valvolo #the horror that came to hisui #TY AGAIN thinking hard abt jacred a lot all the time

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cozymochi · 1 year

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1, 12, 4, and 7 for the artist asks!

Love the avant-garde non-chronological storytelling this employs

1. What canon character(s) do you love to draw the most? (And why?)

As of NOW, it’s changed considerably. Tbh I think I’m still finding out who is the favorite to actually draw vs. a character I just happen to draw a lot. …So on that end i’m gonna refer to old but gold, Yamcha MIGHT still be my top favorite to actually draw. It’s just been a hot minute. His design means the world to me. Even if in toriyama-land he’s default generic pretty man. with scaaaarssss. AIN’T NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT IN MY HOUSE!!!

12. Which OC do you love to draw the most? (And why?)

I have a new favorite now starting back in April. WHOMST? she’s hasn’t been introduced yet. At least not formally up here? I like drawing her because (and im gonna sound so,,,), anyway after all the bs irl from then to now, she’s now my comfort character. Im obsessed with indulgent scenarios mkay. Though she has cameo’d twice so far publicly. But she’s inevitable just gimme a hot minute to stop being cryptic for no reason , here’s important stuff

4. What type of colors do you like using in your art? (And why?)

I’M FINDING MYSELF USING A LOT MORE BLUES AND GREENS NOW and anything in that group.

7. Any funky lil art tips? ((WARNING I START LOSING IT ))

Not unless something is asked in specific and caters to a specific persons needs. TIP: there’s no ONE way to approach anything. Like!! If that video tutorial someone pedantically linked in a discord channel isn’t helping you then!! It’S FINE TO try something else! Or if google searching isn’t teaching you then ask someone else! …but plz be cooperative about it and open to listen, i know i just said there’s no “one way” to do something (and there isn’t, these arent contradicting statements) but the amount of times i’ve seen art advice fall on deaf ears because the asker just was not cooperative despite inciting kills me.

Also plz learn fundamentals i know they are tedious, boring, and seemingly useless (aND ARE THEY EVER so not-fun to learn, take from someone who had to start at the beginning every new class for a D E C A D E), buT it COMES BACK SO OFTEN and is more universal than people assume. Then hey, maybe that tiktok “art shortcut” will finally make sense or be a little easier to grasp. Yeah shortcuts are cool n all but that shortcut was made by someone who considers all this “second-nature” and has like, years of foundations under their belt to MAKE that sorta thing 😭

actually now that i think about it all this is like the equivalent of ppl buying those old “how to draw whatever” books back in middle school but instead of reading the material, people just looked at the pictures and skipped to idk tracing the final results. Meme the chris hart books all you want (there’s a lot to lol at, especially in a modern lens) but those foundational portions early on in those text blocks aRE sAying universal things!! IT ISNT GONNA CONDUCT A MIRACLE OR ANYTHING buT THE KNOWLEDGE DOES HELP A LOT AAAAaa reading!!

I JUST AAAAA

i literally trailed off im so fuckib sorry i have a 7 hour shift in an hour and dont wanna leave my bed

#cozy ask

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divorced-ceroba-ketsukane · 3 months

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All right... this is a good start... i think...( man this is hard)

Uh... Kill any customer thats rude and rob a bank...

...

Alright alright sorry... on a serious note though

Accepting the fact that the solution is going to be a jorney is something good. A divorce is a big change. But confronting change little by little with more change would be a part of that solution.

... considerating the fact that you are not in a good economic situation is rough start...

Stopping a hobby.... While it benefits the economic side of life. A decision like that can affect you in the psicological (idk how to write that) side. The purpose of a hobby is relieve stress. Give you some comfort. And help establish a routine that you find happy to accomplish.

Maybe try something low budget in the meantime. Like a little walk on the morning/evening to get the thoughs sorted out. Go out with some friends. Make new friends.

Im asuming that Kanako is a relative of yours. This situation may affect that individual too. So try to spend time with them and give them all the love and support they can recieve. While also trying not to step over their boundaries.

And before i forget this journey will suck. It will be like going upstairs blindfolded. But if you do little by little everyday one day you may be almost reaching the end of the stairs

And dont forget to take breaks! Thats an important advice in general!

And sorry if what you heard is something you already heard before. And if this session of

Free Therapy

sucked im sorry for that too. Im just some guy and i dont know a lot

I... Thank you. I really appreciate it. I think just talking to you helped, even if the advice had been bad. Fortunately, it was very good advice! I think I'll try to follow most of it, thank you.

// Anyways, time to correct all your spelling errors like the pedantic little grammar police officer I am! Jorney -> Journey - psicological -> Psychological - i -> I -

//Genuinely though, this is all amazing advice! Well done ^w^ - Admin :3

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higheldertala · 6 months

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the giggle commentary

please presume i am holding this sign whenever im watching dw

nice that the overlay text isn’t bright orange this time 😅

the bad fake german accent gets very annoying very quickly

i think the invention and history of television is quiet fascinating, so bit of a shame we don’t go more into it.

humanity in chaos really does drop off into the background very quickly, i’ll come back to this later

the stranger in street expositing seems random seeing as unit will repeat this 5 minutes later

the doctor and mel hug is certainly cute

i would have perhaps altered the ‘i used to be like you’ line. maybe have the doctor say that mel used to travel with him or something. the ‘i used to be you’ they keep doing with past companions somewhat implies there’s interchangeable/ replaceable which im not a fan of.

‘although don’t say companion’ to say rtd specifically changed this term back, it seems weird to make a point about a seemly negative connatation to it? i suppose you could argue this is just an in character line for donna tho. i’ve never had an issue with the term, idk why we have to make a deal about it

‘gold protocols, the doctor’s in the room’ 🙄🙄🙄

i know russell likes doing his political angle but uh i have heard this story from russell many times before

the vlinx is a very random addition. feels very lets add a droid in star wars style idk

is it pedantic to say that the everyone in world still wouldn’t have access to the internet or a screen? or is that what’s not going on?

‘everyone know arpeggios’ i don’t know what an arpeggio is mel 😅

i feel like we make a humanity is bad point every now and again and then that’s it. it’s giving trying to be self aware but needing the doctor to always be on earth saving humanity anyway

and the episodes ends with 14 essentially assimilating into humanity anyway so can’t be that pressed about it hey

‘international consequences’ were there any consequences to this? blowing up the satellite doesn’t even stop the toymaker’s plan in the end, like i said this plot gets dropped a bit

‘waiting for permission’ again making the doctor the whole authority over humanity/ president of the world is so icky 🙄

i really hate the all past companions should join unit. maybe some of them shouldn’t want to join the military?

‘it’s like you’re staggering, you are staggering along. maybe that’s why you’re all face came back. You’re wearing yourself out ’ it all well and good russell writing this, but there’s been no build up or anything to explicitly back this up in in the show, even in the specials themselves. this is something we’ve literally just made up now

i feel like we should have kept to either the toymaker’s realm or just kept to reality. i think splitting this up loses time

i just don’t buy the salt thing let in the toymaker into. its very silly.

‘i played a game and let him in’ how was that a game?

‘maybe i’ll save you’ i loved this bit!! i’m so gutted donna didn’t save the day instead we played a game of fucking catch 😭😭😭

‘dice don’t know what the dice did last time’ i like this quote, it quiet clever

the premise of the toymaker and the toymakers maker realm is so open and allows for anything and i just think there’s so much more potential for a story than playing a game of catch

the scenes in the toymakers realm are great, they’re creepy and suspenseful.

on viewing the human size marionette seems cgi but it’s actually real which is good to know, i don’t know why it’s come across as fake

‘If this is a trick i will kill you’ donna my queen

donna smashing the doll is great

there’s so many times we just Reference™️ things and i want writers to understand there’s so much more to homaging the past than just listing things

i don’t understand the point of showing donna the fate of her successors, as she doesn’t really have any emotional reaction and it’s not like she’s not aware of the dangers of travelling with the doctor, again she’s a seasoned companion

also is this a dig at moffat for how he treated his companions 🤭 lol

when i said i wanted bill in the 60th this isn’t what i meant 😭

i hope we stop mentioning the flux after this

‘The one who wait’ I for one am very tired of season arcs/ teases where we basically just keep a phrase until we get to final. it’s really adds nothing to the story for me, it’s literally just key jangling. I don’t think we need season arcs and just because series 11 didn’t work doesn’t mean they need to be a permanent fixture. we literally just need to write good stories that’s it.

‘they shout and they type and they cancel’ I wish boomers would stop talking about cancel culture. boomers whine about cancel culture when the root of it is just accountability (the rest of it is just twitter).

‘im already running’ 😂

donna doing the coding template is pretty redundant in finding the entrance/ exit for the toymaker

spice up you life scene is fun

biregenation silly and we’ll leave it at that

i don’t know why both 14 and 15 couldn’t just have the same outfit like no one would have questioned it

‘bigeneration is supposed to be a myth’ can we please have a rule about adding lore is that if you’re gonna do it, it can’t be shit

it is sort of weird to stop midfight to do the whole bigen, messes with the flow a bit

that line by donna is crazy why did russell think that was okay??? jesus

i think it’s shit that ncuti has to share the screen and he should be able to have the sole spotlight as the doctor

having the climax of the episode being playing a game of catch is… silly. time to stop writing russell

this being ncuti first act as the doctor 😭

the consecutive shots of them all clearly not throwing/ catching the ball 😭

it really isn’t clear that 14 will become 15. it does just seem like 14 is just a copy. it’s really not explain well and it’s just silly

the repeat of the hand picking the tooth/ring isn’t a callback it’s just lazy writing

getting into the slightly insulting territory that 14 is explaining the tardis controls to 15 🙃

also really don’t see why 15 can’t get dressed yet

‘one thing you need in this place is a chair’ so true bestie

i’m begging stop trying to make the doctor retroactively care about adric. it’s been 40 years

again creating a copy of the tardis… silly

so rtd says the one 15 gets into is the ‘original’ tardis but the execution is so poor because he literally gets in the copy… how can you not see this? silly

boomer does ‘gen z is a vegan’ gag 🙄

the doctor has had multiple opportunities at settling down but always go back to their life of travelling because that’s the show character, i don’t buy how the doctor settling down with a nuclear family is this character’s happy ending

and also is the doctor (15 i should add) now just free of Trauma™️? 😖

concluding thought: i think there’s so muc wasted potential here and yeah ends pretty disappointing :( positive (singular), ncuti is great, he has so much charisma and confident and is so joyous to watch. he seems like he’ll be perfect for the doctor and particularly a fresher take on the doctor. okay negatives, the ending is underwhelming and borderline patronising. bewildering that rtd thought that playing a game of catch and the toymaker simply misses the ball makes for a thrilling conclusion 🙄 the bigeneration is super silly and unnecessary. there’s no reason for it other than to wank off a certain doctor. the spilt means 14 still is the main protag of the episodes and 15 becomes a side character and a second thought. not to mention all the icky tropes 15 endures similar to the fugitive doctor. ncuti and jo deserve better. repeating the ending of journeys end is even more frustrating in that russell has literally done this plot before. also repeating other elements is lazy writing but at least it’s only his writing he’s plagiarising this time(!) annoying there no real plot reason that the ‘old face comes back’ and the insinuated reason is because of Trauma™️ which we’ve only address this episode. idk to say this changes regen lore of not being able to change back into an old face as written by russell himself is frustrating, again if we’re making lore please at least make them good and not waste everyone’s time. it would have been so easy and simple to attribute this to the toymaker but no, dt gets another go at being the doctor because… fuck everyone else that’s why. the specials overall certainly did not feel like a celebration of a breadth of dw’s history and felt more like simply stroking a certain person’s ego. im sure another story could have been written. imo ncuti could have helmed the special(s) himself with other elements added to pay homage to the show. despite this seemly being an unpopular opinion i do think ncuti has been done down in his regeneration and now has to continually talk about dt in his press run instead of being able to talk about himself and his doctor. other points being that donna doesn’t really do anything to contribute and just follows the doctor around and mel is… here. big ch*bnall companions vibes 🙃 i don’t know if i have any more energy to waste on this episode but i least i don’t have to watch it again. 4/10

i pray the christmas special and ncuti’s era will be better

#dw commentary #and if i said the sixtieth specials were mid what then

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nanjokei · 1 year

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well, you know. something funny about how i vehemently denied being mentally ill well into high school despite various unpleasant incidents (no details heehee) and constant panic attacks and mental breakdowns. of course into university it did not get better. but i started being a little more honest with myself. started calling myself ambigiously mentally ill, but looking back now, i was still trying to downplay it. i felt that i did not "deserve" to label myself as anything as it would be an "excuse". not only that, but also enroaching on people who are "actually" mentally ill. people who were visibly "worse off", or perhaps simply made their misfortune clear before i did (it sounds silly, but i really did think like this). well... obviously i am very neurodivergent. even mental illness and anxiety and depression aside. very nice cocktail of me juice.

what does that even mean? wasn't i struggling too? i think the mental health discourse of the late 10's was so damaging. there was so much emphasis on "worth" and "proof"... i'm not talking about listing your mental illnesses, that is so early 10's tumblr and i think something usually younger people do (to a lot of detriment ofc). i'm talking about the silent pressure of "if you don't see a professional you decided you got it via webmd" or something. i didn't wanna seem like that... so i never questioned myself. ever. i just decided to acknowledge "something is wrong" and nothing else. of course, in an effort to be inclusive perhaps to maybe their friends, people would hastily tack on statements like "but it's okay if you do a lot of research".

what IS "a lot of research"? by what metric is that decided? how much research is that? how many hours, books, webpages, blog posts... i do think in this pedantic and literal kind of way. i take the words much too seriously. but when is it okay? such questions haunted me. honestly, i am unable to let the thought go. even if i recently in the past and even now go, "i'm an adult, should i not be able to tell and surmise what may be wrong? do i not have observations? can i not relate my experiences to others strongly? is it wrong of me to do so? do i not live in my own body?" this social pressure is not something i can make sense of, but i still feared it, heeded it, let it be something that commanded my life and how i saw myself.

i can never be diagnosed in this decade. even aside from the society i live in. how intensely i have to mask in my day to day life because of how intricately collectivist this society is. gender shit. my own personal circumstances which i will probably never speak of online. but it's okay. i don't really want or need a diagnosis. i know at least and am honest with myself, but i hope one day i can transition from "i am ambigiously neurodivergent" and the like to saying what i really feel. you know? because i am an adult who is at least somewhat self aware. like, in masking so intensely my entire life, in KNOWING i was so bad at knowing what to do in such inflexible social environments and having to learn from scratch, i honestly should have realized... no idea how i did not...

honestly it runs so deep sometimes i tell myself i don't have things i OBJECTIVELY have! like i have trichotillomania yes!! i pull my hair out constantly. but sometimes im like ok but what if i'm just pulling my hair out just cuz lol... DO YOU SEE!!! it is so deep seated. when i first started doing it my mom took me to a hair guy bc she thought my hair was falling out. he immediately recognized i was pulling it out, but didn't say it was a disorder or anything. maybe he didn't have the authority to, idk, i have no idea what his profession even was. it was not a hospital. we went home and i got yelled at. i wish he said something. but alas. i lived not knowing for years. so sometimes i still don't believe THAT. how am i gonna convince myself it's ok for me to say the quiet part about my neurodivergence out loud? that i've "earned" the right to do so? i've met so many people both irl and online that have validated my trich and i can't even fully believe it. so imagine... you know??

i'm not chasing a label, but i want to be able to say it one day and not care about approval (in the sense of others believing me) or "being incorrect". BECAUSE WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK?! i believe others without thinking about it or doubting them right? and no one is living my life but me!! i want to be honest to myself completely one day!!! i want to wholeheartedly say i am ___ without thinking about it too hard. you know?! ;_;

i have no idea if any of this makes sense at all. i know my way of describing my feelings is confusing and very roundabout. it may not even be obvious what i am agonizing about, maybe it is, but i want to overcome my inhibitions wholeheartedly. i am ready to evolve past the self denial

#rambles #long post

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antifacountryfella · 2 years

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before i write the rest of this post i want to make one (or two? maybe even 3 idk i didnt pull out my calculator or anything) things VERY clear; I LOVE this new(ish) crop of Springsteen-core bands (punk rock bands that either are directly influenced by the Boss or they cover many of the same things. i.e. driving on the highway while reflecting on our poor economic situation, working shitty jobs to barley pay rent while reflecting on our poor economic situation, being madly//hopelessly in love with someone very pretty while reflecting on our poor economic situation, etc.) I also LOVE Bruce Springsteen. his first SEVEN albums are all masterpieces.

ok. that being said:

recently Bruce appeared on the song "Chinatown" song by the band Bleachers. if you aren't familiar, it's like an electronic-y kinda song with heavy nostalgia vibes. lyrics include things like: "Get in my backseat, honeypie And I'll wear your sadness like it's mine" and "But a girl like you Could rip me out of my head Black tears on your cheek I want them in my bed I'll take you out of the city Honey, right into the shadow" and finally: "I wanna run I wanna run I love to chase every feeling I wanna run"

"okay Jewish Nick Miller" I hear you asking "what point are you making? all you've done is tell us that you like The Gaslight Anthem and then post some lyrics to a song that isn't even by that band" to which I would respond: you clearly need to go back and reread my post because I said I LOVE tGA. but ok, here is my point:

Chinatown by Bleachers is more of a descendant of Springsteen's music than the Gaslight Anthem, the Hold Steady, Titus Andronicus, or any other orgcore band (AGAIN, I love all these bands; they are all top ten bands EASILY) Why do I say this? Simple, it comes down to the style of music they play. Bruce played a mix of rock n roll, r&b, motown, soul, and occasionally folk. These are all genres with mainstream popularity at the time; (early 70's to mid 80's) in the case of motown and r&b they are also genres associated with a fun night out, dancing, etc. Now take the orgcore bands; the genres they pull from (punk rock, 60s/70s rock, pop punk, hardcore/melodic hardcore, soul, folk) are not popular in the mainstream.* They ARE generally associated with going to to drink and dance** and have a good time, but a random Tinder*** date would prolly be more interested in having a singalong to Sweet Caroline or Just a Friend than some hXc anthem about friendship and betrayal. anyways;

I can't speak for the rest of Bleachers catalog (the only other song i kno by them is a modern-rock-dance-electronic[???] kinda song, which doesn't bode well for my thesis if im being honest) but the song "Chinatown" does not have the problem the orgcore bands do. instrumentally the songs has more in common with electronica and hip hop than it does the Ramones and Lifetime. take a listen to top 40 from the past decade or so- our most popular pop songs take their instrumental cues from the same genres. Also, these are genres that people go out and party to. Now, this music on Chinatown is definitely more subdued and bleary-eyed than an LMFAO**** song or whatever, but that isn't the point. Bruce has soooo many songs like this- Lost in the Flood, Backstreets, Independence Day. But you already knew that, that last point there was just to answer the most pedantic person in the world. We've already covered the lyrical content, so bada bing bada boom. now you know why i think that Chinatown has more in common with Bruce Springsteen's heydey than org//springsteencore bands (59 Sound by The Gaslight Anthem, The Monitor by Titus Andronicus, Boys and Girls in America by the Hold Steady, Celebration Rock by Japandroids, On the Impossible Past by Menzingers. all fantastic albums. seriously some of my favorite albums of all fucking time right here)

yes i know, pop punk is popular. you know what i mean.

** slam dancing and skanking count as dancing!! its all i can do!

*** total tangent here but I ALWAYS think its spelled 'tindr'

**** christ, I'm old

#bruce springsteen #orgcore #bleachers #gaslight anthem #titus andronicus #hold steady #japandroids #menzingers #punk #punk rock #skate punk #springsteencore #melodic hardcore #folk #folk punk #motown #r&b #rock & roll

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ghostlypawn · 3 years

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Hey, did you have any coloring tutorials regarding your pride headcanon gifsets? The coloring looks so nice and I wanted to try and attempt to use some coloring for my gifs but I dont know how

thank you !! its usually kinda specific to each gif but i can try! theres usually 2 ways i go about it

using the color overlay feature:

this is probably the easier one as it can be used with more scenes

you need to find a scene where the person you're giffing/the camera moves very little (here she moves a bit but its fine enough for me)

colour and sharpen the gif as you normally would

then create a new layer and simply colour the background in the colour you want

it will look ridiculous at first but then u wanna change the overlay setting from normal to color (the drop-down next to the opacity)

and it should look something like this:

and then sometimes i add a gradient (pink to transparent) on a new layer on each side if i want a bit pinker (i mess around with the opacity of this layer to whatever i think fits this is around 70% opacity)

it doesnt make a ton of difference here but i tend to use it more when there are things happening on the far left that i want to draw attention away from as it makes those areas more opaque

and thats basically it for this way!

the cons to this way are sometimes you can see gaps/overlap where the character moves at certain points of the gif

im usually pedantic about these things but its honestly not as noticable as you think it is and ive uploaded gifs that have overlap (i tend to think overlap is better than a gap but thats personal preference)

using selective colour:

this is harder to do as you need the background to be a specific colour (but i think it tends to look better)

this colour can be the colour you want the gif to be but from my experience blue backgrounds tend to be most easily manipulated

red/yellow/pink backgrounds are hardest to change as they affect the skin colour of the character (but it can sometimes work if the character doesnt move much as you can use a layer mask and erase your colouring from the person)

im gonna try and colour this gif (idk if it will work yet as the background is a greyish blue rather than a brighter blue like the sky would be but it should do)

colour and sharpen as normal (i also recommend using a blue/cool photo filter layer to really get rid of the yellow undertones the later cm seasons have it makes a world of difference for me but its up to you/how you colour things)

then from here honestly its a lot of trial and error; im gonna try and make it pinky purple

this is gonna be different for each gif but for reference i added 2 selective colour layers (as the bg is blue im only gonna change the cyan/blue and maybe black/green) and one hue/saturation

1st selective colour: GREEN (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -100) CYAN (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -23) BLUE (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -91) BLACK (C = +1, M = +13)

2nd selective colour: GREEN (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -100) CYAN (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -23) BLUE (C = -100, M = +100, Y = -91)

hue/saturation: (the background is now pinky/purple) MAGENTA (hue = +1, saturation = +32, lightness = +19)

this is my result:

as you can see their skin tone hasnt changed as i didnt touch the red/yellow selective colour options. if your background is one of these colour you could add a layer mask to that selective colour layer and erase the area of the person but this might cause effects similar to first version i showed you (gaps or overlap)

im still not entirely happy with it as firstly, luke is in the picture as we want to draw attention away from him and secondly, there are still some non-purple colours in the background

to fix this is once again use the color overlay feature from the first version to touch up some of the areas (i colourdrop a colour from the background) there shouldnt be much overlap/gapping as im not colouring precisely around their skin (and if there is it wont be as noticable as the background/shirt is the same colour)

and then to get rid of luke i simply draw over him in a colour from the background and then add a gradient and move it so the opaque side of the gradient is near the edge of where i stopped drawing over luke (i also transform it and mush it inwards so the more transparent side doesnt go all the way over to matt just next to him)

this is what it looks like finished!

it turned out pretty well considering it was a random video i had on hand !!

also dont be scared to experiment with overlays/opacity etc and its okay to realise that it’s just not working for this gif and scrapping (ive lost many gifs </3)

im not the best at explaining things but i hope this somewhat helped!! if you have anymore questions feel free to ask <3

#gif tutorial

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stay-neurotic · 3 years

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tagged by @evenmyhivemindisempty 😘❤️️

Name: rachael

Gender: she/her

Star sign: aquarius

Height: 5'4"

Time: 4:51 pm

Birthday: jan 26

Favorite band(s): king gizzard and the motherfucking wizard lizard. that band is my heart band. also i've really been into tzusing and ok go recently

Favorite solo artist(s): ummmmm. tipper!

Song stuck in my head: IT'S BEEN A LONG ROAD

Last movie I watched: oh hell idk. i don't watch movies. uhh. the last one i remember was grand budapest hotel while i was on an acid trip w friends, it was an exceptional movie inebriation or no

Last show I watched: enterprise lol

When did I create this blog: like in 2011. it's ancient.

When I post: usually in the mornings before i leave for work and then at night when i get home. i spend my days off nonstop tumblr scrolling to procrastinate having to write so often on wednesdays and thursdays lol

Last thing googled: "spot" looking for spotify and accidentally hitting enter too soon

Other blogs: @vorta-whore for my smutty writings :)

Do I get asks: yes! there are a couple of you that faithfully ask me things when i reblog those ask lists and for yall i am endlessly grateful <3 <3 <3

Why I chose my URL: from a quote - "stay neurotic. stay emotional. stay frustrated. stay excited. your life is happening." once upon a time i really needed the reminder that it's OKAY not to have things under control all the time, life is crazy and i should just fucking learn to go along for the ride.

Followers: 416 but sooooo many of those are inactive after 10 years of just gathering followers here and there

Average hours of sleep: 6 probably

Lucky number: like many other nintendo kids, 64

Instruments: nada. but i did briefly play the melodica when i was into SPG.

What I’m wearing: my server uniform cause i'm on break at work lol. black skinny jeans n a black button up (with the sleeves rolled up for sex appeal)

Dream trip: ohhhh my honeymoon was planned for cali lol. probably there. cbd massages, horseback riding on the beach, spending way too much money at a dope shop and smuggling my spoils home...

Favorite food: potatoes, in any form. also chocolate is a big contender.

Nationality: im a white-ass jew

Favorite song: right now it's vessel - red sex. just a cool dark discordant song, feels like the soundtrack to something fucked up happening.

Last book I read: i'm about halfway through star trek gamma mission book 4: lesser evil. it's got my man taran'atar in it very briefly but i'm also getting sucked into vaugn's whole thing with his wife.

Top 3 fictional universes i’d like to live in: i think u fucking know which universe takes all three spots. cmon. i would also maybe accept pokemon or animal crossing.

Favorite color: cycles between green, blue and purple. right now it's purple!

not sure who's already done this or been tagged but HERE GOES: @tomvorikandharry @pedantic-savantic @missiodine @lasernahrwal @dukatsscalytitties @femalehumanoid

#also my keyboard stoppd oring right in th midd of riting this #oh my god #help

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delcina · 4 years

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hello friends! i’m red (she/her pronouns) and i’m so freakin’ stoked to be here and to write with y’all!! it’s been a hot second since i’ve been in a group but this place was too cute to pass up on, so you are now stuck with me and my baby delaina. congrats! i’m up for literally anything under the sun as far as plots go, so please don’t hesitate to poke me or give this a like and i’ll appear in ur ims all magical-like. xx

『 taylor swift. twenty-nine. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that DELAINA JORDAN from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -MERCURIAL & -PEDANTIC. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool EVENT PLANNER and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +EFFERVESCENT & +TENACIOUS. i hope i see them around again! 『 red. 22. est. she/her. 』

GENERAL INFO.

name: delaina claire jordan

nickname(s): laina, lainey, del, delly ( reserved just for her mom )

birthday: august 28, 1991

age: twenty-nine

gender: cisfemale

pronouns: she/her

zodiac: virgo

sexuality: bisexual

occupation: event planner

hometown: rochester, ny

ABOUT.

mentions of: infidelity

delaina had a pretty comfortable upbringing. realtor mom, dad who had a professor job at the local college, golden retriever sprinting around the lawn of their house with the white picket fence, dinners around the table every night, that sort of comfortable. she was a bubbly, happy-go-lucky child, and life hadn’t given her any reasons to resent the sun coming up every morning. and then when she was thirteen, her father had an Affair which turned into a whole Scandal that followed her to school, and delaina was not used to being the center of attention on terms other than her own. delaina’s mother was absolutely mortified at the whole situation and filed for a divorce faster than she could have said ‘bye.’ delaina ended up taking her mom’s side in things and her relationship with her father pretty much ceased to exist the day that the divorce was official and her and her mom moved to mapleview.

small town life was a bit of an adjustment for delaina; she considered herself a big fish thrown into an obscenely small pond when it came to mapleview, but it didn’t take long for her to find a groove and make herself at home. she played softball all through high school (gr8 anger management option) and ended up getting a scholarship to play in college.

she majored in communications, thinking she’d try to work a corporate job or for a company doing x, y, and z, but after a year at a giant media company that left her completely disillusioned and miserable, she decided to walk right out and do the very thing that made her happy: planning

a good college friend asked for some help planning her wedding and even though delaina had absolutely zero experience, she did it anyways and ended up loving it, so she kept the ball rolling with it and started her own tiny event planning company in town. she specializes in weddings, despite having bad history with them and not having much of a romantic view on life

delaina loves people, loves working with them and helping them and spending time with them, but trust is a very different story. she’s not the best when it comes to opening up and letting people in. her “inner circle” is small even though she’s never really met a stranger

she throws a damn good event though and she’ll make sure the customer is satisfied!!! as for pleasing people beyond the work environment...quite frankly delaina’s gonna do whatever she wants to do and whatever she thinks is gonna make her happy. if you’re along for the ride, sweet, but if you aren’t, she’s not going to look back and coax ya along

delaina throws her entire being into her work; she loves what she does and couldn’t imagine doing anything else, but she can get pretty bad about balancing and prioritizing work and an actual real life??? and then you throw in her over-commitment to the details and having things perfect and it comes as no surprise that she’s sometimes on the hairline of having a breakdown (and it will come out of seemingly nowhere)

delaina is not afraid to go after what she wants, and there are times when she finds herself in a morally ambiguous area where she’s not afraid to step on someone if she has to in order to get to her point b

is very aesthetically and organizationally driven?? like she’s the queen of bullet journaling and having everything tick all the boxes of a sought out vibe. her shit is in Order (or at least, it is on paper)

she’s the girl you call if you want someone to sit with you on your couch and get wine drunk while you accidentally burn the cookies in the oven because you are too consumed in bitching about whatever great injustice life has served up lately. she is not the girl you call if you want someone to tell you everything you want to hear — if she thinks hurting your feelings will help you in the long run (even if it’s out of the best of intentions) then get ur tissues ready

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

platonic soulmate ( 0 / 1 ) — the yin to her yang, the person who knows what delaina’s thinking before it’s even crossed her mind, who sees her at her highest highs and lowest lows and loves her even when she forgets to smuggle them a piece of wedding cake as promised

high school or college friends ( 0 / ? ) — delaina’s been in mapleview since she was thirteen, and i imagine she went to college fairly close to home, so we can do just about anything with this.

casual sex friend ( 0 / 1 ) — exactly what it says on the tin. these two have sex on occasion, whether it’s just to scratch an itch or because they’re bored or because they’ve had a bad day they need to fuck out of their system. there are no feelings attached here. just two people, getting down and dirty while talking about their tax returns and remaining good ass friends once the clothes go back on.

exes ( 0 / ? ) — the good, the bad, the ugly, the ones who can’t stand to see each other happy but don’t ever want to get back together, the one who got away, gimme ‘em all

neighbors ( 0 / ? ) — again, the sky is the limit here! neighbors who show up on each other’s doorstep at 3am to hang out whenever they can’t sleep, neighbors who are feuding and embarking on a prank war that’s gonna get the HOA called on their asses, neighbors who don’t even know they’re neighbors, idk anything!!

hookups ( 0 / 3 ) — past/present, maybe someone she met at a bar or sdhfksdj maybe they were in the bridal party of a wedding, either way they got smashed then smashed each other tyvm, whether it is recurring can be up to us!

i’m open to everYTHING okay, whether it’s soft or angsty or completely Out There, lemme love u down. i am a mess but i’m now ur mess so it’s ok <3

#mapleviewintro

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worldwidemochiguy · 4 years

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Hello!! I just.. was hoping maybe I could get some advice on writing, I love your work so much! 💜

hi!!! thank you so much im rly glad you enjoy my shitty little unedited fics lmao

uhhhhhhh honestly i don’t have too much advice for writing and the stuff i do have to say is either a) painfully obvious b) copied from other advice posts lmao or c) stuff that i don’t even manage to do, buuuuuuut since you asked ill say anyway, but like, prepare to be severely underwhelmed

(ill add a read more thing when i can be bothered to fetch my laptop lol)

1. know what you want to write! this isn’t to say you can’t just like write whatever tf you want just for fun when the inspiration strikes bc you know, you do you, but it really does help if you know what you’re writing about. and not just, for example, ‘they go and get coffee together and then they flirt and then they kiss’ (although having a plot also helps obviously) but like - what are you trying to say with this fic? to its core - is it about loneliness? sadness? hope? companionship? (this is a tip i do not follow myself but wish i did lmao)

but also yeah remember what your plot is and make sure that everything makes sense basically. every scene should be there for a reason - plot development or character development. also, it’s really cool if you can intertwine these things. like, how does the character think and feel about what’s happening and how do they act to drive the plot forwards and why would they do that?

2. themes are cool, maybe not necessary or anything, but still cool. same rule applies to metaphors. however! if you feel like you have to shoehorn these things in and it doesn’t feel natural then don’t do it, and don’t add them just so that they’re in there, they should have like actual relave ce to the plot or character. each person has their own style and trying to force a certain way of writing probably won’t be fun to write or read. not to say that you can’t experiment with genres and/or style! but just, like, don’t think that you have to add something in to make it sound good. there are no rules for writing anyone who says otherwise is pedantic and you have no obligation to listen to them ! 💕

3. try and make sure you really know your characters. like, you could answer any question about them. a cool thing to do which can be fun and useful is to do personality quizzes in the character of who you’re writing, especially the meyers Briggs ones or like sorting hat quizzes. it can help you to get a deeper look at their personality also if they’re maybe not fully developed yet it forces you to think about these things and make decisions. this will also help with the plot and the character’s role in it! if you make them do actions that seem out of character it might feel less believable or engaging, but once you understand and develop the character more then this is less likely to happen.

4. i’ve said it before and i’ll undoubtedly say it again. practice makes perfect (or… improvement at least!). when i first started writing proper ‘fanfic’ i was 13 and it was about twilight if Bella and Edward actually had twins instead of just renesmee and the second child was kidnapped. as you can imagine, it was not very good!! but i continued to write and (im hoping lol) improve. i would even say i’ve improved in the nine months i’ve had this blog (omg almost a year now 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺) even if you feel like you aren’t improving and you read your things and think they’re awful, that’s actually good! bc (bear with me lol) it means your mind is becoming more critical as you understand more about writing and you improve. it does however have the side effect of criticising whatever you write which is... not fun! lmao

5. read! i’ve also said this one before but idc. reading helps your own improvement so much and im literally not even going to elaborate bc like that’s it. reading rly rly helps. it widens your vocabulary and helps you get used to varying sentence structures and see how plots can come together and inspire you. idk why my brain is just failing to work properly and form sentences that make sense but yeah. reading good.

but yeah that’s kind of it. just write what you want to write honestly, and then everything else will start to happen after a while.

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scnnyfm-old · 4 years

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chicago’s very own sunshine ‘sunny’ carmichael has been spotted on madison avenue driving a bmw 3 series , welcome ! your resemblance to dua lipa is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-third birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re sensitive , but being altrustic might help you . i think being a cancer explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be the scent of bubblegum, an abundance of house plants, and freshly baked cookies . ( cis female + she/her )

helloooooo ghouls, goblins, and everything in between. it’s ya girl aneesa or whatever fun nickname you wanna call me, and this is my child sunny! you can reach me via ims or catch me on discord at 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐚 🦋☀#5408

* && 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐬

full name — sunshine carhmichael

nicknames — sunny (preferred name actually)

birthday — july 15

height — 5′ 8″

age — twenty-three (23)

pronouns — she/her/hers

occupation(s) — singer, record executive, fashion/cosmetics brand ceo, fashion designer, reality show star, & model

languages spoken — english (barely)

orientation — bisexual

* && 𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑺𝑶 𝑭𝑨𝑹...

sunshine hawthorne grew up in the foster care system, according to the letter her mother left her, she was just a teenager with strict religious parents who threw her out the minute they learned of her pregnancy, and sunshine’s father was nowhere to be seen, and giving sunshine up was easier than living on the streets trying to fend for herself and a child

SEXUAL & PSYCHICAL ABUSE TW growing up in the foster care system was a lot, she bounced from family to family, and the things that happened were unspeakable. sometimes the abuse was physical, emotional, or sexual and it just caused a lot of deep personal trauma for herself that was never resolved

this caused her to become reserved, stuck up for the underdog even if it was at her own expense, just intrinsically unselfish, has always been the mom friend to a fault

she was 10 when she got adopted into an extremely wealthy family, like i’m talking top ten wealthiest families in the states, and suddenly sunny hawthorne became sunny carmichael

so let’s take a minute to talk about the carmichael’s

they originate from old money, i’m talking so far back it’s unclear whether or not the money they have was obtained legally or not, this caused her parents to be a little reckless w their spending

her father: sebastian carmichael is the one who inherited the wealth from his father, who inherited it from his father, and the cycle continues, he was addicted to gambling add that to the fact that he was a serial cheater and you have an extremely poor father figure

ALCOHOL & DRUGS TW her mother: davina carmichael was a drug dependent alcoholic who spent all of husband’s money to makeup for the fact that he was cheating on her, started her own billion dollar company from scratch, plans on ‘giving it’ to sunny

the carmichaels were very problematic and all of their scandals were extremely public, in fact the only reason they adopted sunny in the first place was so that they could appear more well-rounded then they were

after that would come give siblings, and it fell upon sunny to take care of all of them, so from a young age she acted extremely mature, learned to fend for herself, and still managed to have a soul flourishing with tender spots

sunny was a gifted kid, not academically, she struggled A LOT, she had trouble paying attention, couldn’t read as well as the other kids. she got teased a lot for being ‘dumb’ and honestly hated it, it’s one of her biggest insecurities to this day. but what she lacked academically she made up for artistically, she was musically inclined, and it was clear that she loved to draw (apparent from all the doodles in the margins of her notebooks)

her family capitalized on this as if she were some sideshow attraction, come see our daughter! look how good she is at painting and doodling! pay us money! and although it made her feel like some trophy the could polish and show off, and this messed up sunshine even more because she knew deep down they didn’t love her

in high school she was the bubbly ditzy popular girl, chewed on enough bubblegum to finance a new mercedes, and just was that stereotypical girl ripped straight out of an early 00′s movie

was on the cheerleading team because again i tell you she was just living her best teen life! having an amazing time! vibing!

although her parents could give her anything they wanted and were decent enough to pay the bills for her and her siblings, she wanted to provide for herself, not have to depend on her parents for anything

she got into modeling! and although t took her a while to find her footing eventually she did, and it was a great time! but eventually parents got jealous and made her quit modeling altogether, because god forbid that she get more attention than they did

eventually (and to everyone’s surprise lmao) she went to college, and somehow got accepted into an ivy league....for art! not as surprising, but her family lied and said she went to business school bc of course they did

she went to harvard and majored in visual arts, she got her degree, and got her her happy ass out of there, mostly stayed focused on her studies, occasional party here and there

she was extremely worried about her siblings and she immediately went back home to them, surprisingly they were in one piece, not surprisingly they were being raised by nannies

she applied her visual arts degree and started designing clothes, then modeling said clothes, because although her parents had enough money to get her company off the ground, she wanted to do it by herself

and she did! finally bringing a decent name to the carmichael family!

was a guest judge on a bunch of modeling/runway shows, occasionally starred in her family’s reality tv show against her will, and was so dynamic she would be offered her own, and of course she jumped at the opportunity!

her mother tried handing off the company to her, and she declined! instead she opened up her own company selling her designs and was very hands on in learned to make cosmetics, and her company has been doing extremely well so far, it’s set to surpass her family’s company in a couple of years

as if she didn’t have enough on her plate she wanted to pursue her singing career, ended up having a whirlwind romance w a singer that she collaborated with, they were pretty serious and talked about being engaged, but eventually things fizzled out

said romance inspired a lot of her music, and encouraged her to keep going with her music career, she even worked her way up to the title of executive of their label, she’s on top of the world

she’s come a long way from the shy girl from foster care who afraid of her own shadow, but she’s lost none of her softness!

still extremely charitable and even started multiple charities all ranging from helping fund the foster care system to providing more funding for no kill shelters (she’s a vegan!) all of her charities are nation wide and oh boy does she have a lot on her plate

has....literally no time for anything else....still tries to prove to herself that she’s definitely not stressed and has so much free time! sdflksj tries to party and have fun, but mostly craves staying inside and takes baths with scented candles and just watches the same romcom over and over again

* && 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭

....okay so maybe it’s not completely believable that she got into an ivy league with her own merit, after all she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed and spoiler alert she didn’t

her parents bribed an admissions counselor to let their daughter in their visual arts program, they even donated enough money to renovate the art museum

all of this happened without sunny’s knowledge and she continues to live in blissful ignorance about the whole thing

* && 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

zodiac — cancer rising, cancer sun, & scorpio moon

alignment — lawful good

mbti — infp-t

enneagram — type 2 ( the helper )

temperament — phlegmatic

house — hufflepuff

positive traits — ( + ) altruistic , committed , conceptual , curious , courteous , determined , generous , humble , inventive , imaginative , loyal , loving , organized , passionate , playful , reliable , selfless , supportive , thoughtful , and trustworthy

negative traits — ( - ) anxious , cautious , compulsive , critical , disorganized , dogmatic ,, hyperactive , indifferent , insecure , impulsive , logical , oblivious , pedantic , protective , and resilient

* && 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

please don’t feel limited by this list because i have a brain the size of a walnut and this is all i can think of these are almost all ripped off ryker’s intro bc i’m not creative

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑭𝑨𝑴𝑰𝑳𝑰𝑨𝑳....

family friends maternal or paternal cousins

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑪...

past crush current crush flirtationship except she prolly doesn’t realize bc head empty unrequited love ( on either side ) fwbs will they? won’t they? someone her friends are trying to set her up with forbidden love of some kind idk maybe not exes on good terms exes on bad terms first love high school or college romances summer romance childhood crush friends to lovers pr relationship somebody who leads her on

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑷𝑳𝑨𝑻𝑶𝑵𝑰𝑪...

BEST FRIEND / ROOMMATE PLOT BASED ON NEW GIRL OR FRIENDS PLS I WILL GIVE YOU MY EVERYTHING best friends confidants ride or die sibling like friends close friends neighbors?? enemies to friends reunited childhood friends drunk / party friends someone she’s a good influence on bad influence unlikely friends secret friends, aka friends who do not hang around in the public eye as their family or friends may not get along #married....just they argue and love each other like a married couple

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎ 𝑵𝑬𝑮𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑽𝑬...

enemies former best friends frenemies

#abuse tw #drugs tw #alcohol tw #wealthyhq:intro #I FINALLY GOT THIS DONE #please love me #this took so long #for no reason

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