#maybe a little bit ashamed
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#uploading rest of my unholy sketches#please mind the tags#as always#i am not sorry for this#maybe a little bit ashamed#kerry eurodyne#trans kerry eurodyne#cyberpunk 2077#my art#v x kerry#male v x kerry#fixing my old sketches takes me forever#but it's so worth it#cw choking
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Mihawk’s lips are dry and tempting. The next time he sees him trying to wet them, he kisses him. For a moment he feels the other’s hand tightening around his shoulder, and he sways a bit in Mihawk’s direction—
“Sorry, I’m— sorry”, he says automatically when the other pushes him back.
A cold chill goes up his spine and fights the wave of heat in his cheeks. His mind keeps juggling excuses as to why he could read the situation so wrong, when he was so sure that—
He wishes he found Mihawk’s unblinking stare as unnerving as people usually do.
“...What for?”.
Shanks opens his mouth, closes it. He looks back at Mihawk’s perplexed expression, more or less as confused as him. Then he thinks about the other’s hand on his hair as he massaged him; about his fingers tracing idle patterns on the back of his hand in the underground. About the weight of his hand still on his shoulder.
He takes a deep breath.
“I said a lot of stupid shit”, he says as if it was some sort of grand commencement of a speech only to instantly run out of words. Good gods. Somehow Mihawk still makes him feel as if he was about to go on scene for the first time.
“I didn’t want to fight you”, he tries to explain, feeling rather lame under the other’s scrutiny.
No, he had wanted to fight off that part of his conscience that questioned what he was going to do when there wasn't any part of his dreams left to sacrifice over. Much like in their duels, Mihawk had the habit to strike and to do it hard.
Restless and unsure, he tries to get something more out of the haze of ideas he toyed with, when he still used to think about what he’d say to Mihawk if he had the opportunity, only to be surprised by—
“I wasn’t patient with you. I regret that”.
Shanks’ head snaps back to meet Mihawk’s gaze.
There’s a dust of pink on his cheeks and he sounds as if his words had been confessed under torture.
He snorts.
#mishanks#akagami no shanks#dracule mihawk#one piece#one piece live action#I feel I must clarify that this is a modern au#and also that while Shanks is wildly thinking about how to ask Mihawk out again after how bad things ended between them when they were youn#Mihawk is mildly worried about him and feeling a bit ashamed for thinking about kissing him bc Shanks is mildly sick#and also bc surely mihawk's being SO OBVIOUS playing nurse (so obvious being: he bullied Shanks into taking a nap and maybe cuddle a little#also at the background of this there's zoro (who suspects a bit what's going on) playing with luffy#who has a pretty good idea of what's going on but also some INSANE lore about shanks zoro's 75% sure is fake
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disgruntled warden and newly obtained lil guy...
#artists on tumblr#magellan one piece#oc x canon#one piece oc#self insert#my art#so ashamed to like the shit man. maybe a little bit#hes funny i'd like to study him.
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👥: omgh Gallaxhar's family is so cute!!!!
Gallaxhar's family:
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅
SORRY THAT I'M SPAMMING STUPID SKETCHES WITH ALIENS' FAMELE I had to show their relationship
Fun fact #2: Gax's mother worked in the government in some cool high position and didn't really saw her son - his father was a householder and inflated the family hearth out of nothingᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ
#sketch#character art#monsters vs aliens#mva#gallaxhar#monsters vs aliens oc#the real Gallaxhar's lore: he destroyed his planet because he was forbidden to be a femboy#I'm not the least bit ashamed well maybe a little bit
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so i'm writing an 8th year fic and h&d are taking a muggle studies class together in which they read one of shakespeare's plays, and i'm trying to write a final project (for which they are partners) but like. hogwarts academics don't seem all that uhhhhh rigorous to me (like we see the students complaining about having to write a foot of parchment which is essentially ONE PAGE HANDWRITTEN) and i'm a little worried that my assignment is too rigorous.
it involves a lot of like. thinking analytically and using your imagination wrt the motivations of people unlike yourself, and that's not rlly something they do much at hogwarts as far as i can see. BUT it is muggle studies, and like. they could definitely all use some practice at those skills, following the recent implosion of their society.
#i showed it to my spouse who is a hs teacher#'where are they getting the books for this research? are there wizarding books about macbeth?' no there are not#the professor chose macbeth bc it has these concepts that will be familiar to them like witchcraft and prophesy#but presented from a muggle perspective#and also bc shakespeare is foundational to english literature and culture and it's good to be familiar with his work#and also bc they don't have a lot of experience with art esp language arts which is so so so sad and this will broaden their world#and ALSO bc shakespeare wrote before the statute of secrecy was signed which hopefully sparks their imaginations#to what extent might shakespeare's work have been impacted by ambient magic? or rumors of magic?#and if they had like a regular english literature education#they could talk about like the role of outcasts in shakespeare's work and whether magical people fit into that role#but they do not so we have to be a bit more literal#for the students that are prepared to like dig into this stuff it could be a very engaging experience#but most of them will prob be a bit lazy with it right? and maybe just resent the assignment and not get much out of it#and like!!!!#this assignment is literally just an excuse to have H&D putting their heads together in the library#and bring their relationship/the fact that they've been warming up to each other and spending time together out into the open#in a plausible deniability sort of way#a friendship soft launch if you will#i get a little carried away about these details sometimes#like if i mention the characters getting sandwiches i will look up menus for places they could plausibly have gotten sandwiches in that are#to make sure the sandwiches i mention are reasonable sandwiches#i heard some dumb story about meghan markle freaking out about not being able to get avocado when she was in the uk#and i remembered a fic i had written where aziraphale and crowley eat egg and avocado sandwiches#and i felt ashamed#an implausible sandwich!!!!
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so question.
if aziraphale fell / wasn't an angel anymore ( by choice or force . ) would crowley still call him angel? even just as a slip up
gimme opinions
#i know neil said that he calls him that because he is an angel and not a form of endearment or anything#but i do not belive a word of it /hj#i think he would and then aziraphale would be either very confused#ashamed or bit shocked that it took him that long to realise “ oh its not because im an angel is it ”#lemme go w the hc of crowley using it as a little flattery / thing he picked up from humans#but aziraphale just never realised why he actually was calling him that#maybe crowley would accidentally call azi angel a couple of times if this happened#good omens#good omens 2#crowley#aziraphel#honestly i cant even remember crowley calling aziraphale his name. like. at all ?? maybe im just having a brain blank.#michael sheen#david tennant#good omens season 2
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hello I’m turning 22 soon and saw u say it is???? Worse than being 19????? help. how did/are u surviving?
i survived by nurturing my friendships + reading more books (distracting myself) + walking/exercising daily or as often as i could + letting myself feel my emotions fully instead of bottling them up and being hard on myself for feeling them in the first place which was a huuge adjustment 4 me
#i got emotionally decimated when i was 22 but i’m sure it wasn’t like that for everyone!! <3#like maybe i am sensitive!!!! not a bad thing and i shouldn’t be ashamed of feeling hurt by people who hurt me!!!#and i feel like letting myself be a little crybaby for a bit helped me make it through without becoming super jaded and cold lol
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Sorry to keep throwing Miscellaneous Asks your way, but I finally had a moment to get my thoughts in order on one of the points on your Venn diagram I wanted to talk about! I always kind of debate whether or not to send other, semi-unrelated long asks like this when we've already got a chain going, but oh well. I'll try and address anything brought up in response here in the main one and hopefully it doesn't get confusing lol.
So I was thinking about the extent of Jo and Arakawa's relationship. It is completely true there's not much you can say that's concrete, especially since most of what we see is from Jo's perspective. Although his perspective is crucial to forming an understanding of their relationship, it's not sufficient. This is particularly the case because, coming back to giri-ninjo for a moment, Jo is largely bound by giri; it's clear his loyalty runs deep, but it's not a choice for him.
Arakawa, on the other hand, can choose who he places his trust in, especially early on. And I think it's incredibly important that, despite having men who've already been with him from day 1, men who've already been helping him with his son, Arakawa chooses to "place every confidence" in Jo (per an old Famitsu profile, one of the first official ones) and chooses to make Jo his captain.
Similarly, he kind of chooses Jo "over" Ichi in sending Ichi to prison "instead of" Jo. Perhaps the family really would collapse without Jo's talents, but… does it have to collapse entirely? Didn't Arakawa make it pretty far on his own? I guess it's neither here nor there, but I've always wondered if things would've really played out as feared if Jo went to prison instead. Not to understate Jo's role in the family, of course.
Anyway, I think that trust shows not only in overt gestures such as entrusting Masato and the family's finances to Jo, but also in more subtle behind-the-scenes ways, such as what we were talking about before with regard to New Year's 2001. There's also the fact that leaking information to Aoki was Jo's idea; for that to be the case, Arakawa would have to discuss Aoki's threats at length with Jo. (Unrelated, but come to think of it, "complying with him [to] make him see value in keeping us around" is very often the strategy of victims of abuse and neglect…)
And this one's an underrated detail many people miss, but after Arakawa shot Ichi, while he was able to come up to Ichi to tell him he's counting on him and sneak in the fake bill, if the goal was to not arouse suspicion, I don't think he would exactly have been able to excuse himself from the dinner to drive Ichi to Yokohama. Time was of the essence in terms of Ichi's survival, so that leaves Jo, who was conveniently already at the scene and who was certainly in on the "secret rule" that constitutes part of the Arakawa Family's agreement with the homeless camp. Overall, there is a pattern of Arakawa approaching Jo before anyone else, isn't there?
Sort of branching off of that, I would personally feel comfortable saying that Jo knows Arakawa better than anyone else. He seems to know details about Akane and New Year's 1976 no one else does, details Arakawa would have had to volunteer himself, and that plus his own experiences are what allow him alone to have the most complete picture of that night.
I also get the impression Jo understands Arakawa better as a person than anyone else--certainly better than Aoki, but perhaps even better than Ichi in some cases. There are multiple instances where he defends Arakawa and challenges their perceptions of him--that he's "betrayed" the Tojo Clan, that he's betrayed Aoki, that he's the type to scheme and make power-plays behind Aoki's back. He hasn't. And, despite how little Jo's "allowed" to say, he turns out to be right every time. Also worth noting Arakawa does something similar in asking Ichi to try and understand Jo's frustrations, though he's more or less enabling Jo's abuse in doing so.
Lastly, The Smallest Detail that drives me kind of insane. Them arriving at the office in the back seat of the same car in one of Ichi's flashbacks. I wouldn't think too much of it if it were any other time of day, but the first-thing-in-the-morning quality and the fact Jo isn't driving (thus it's not as an act of service but as an equal) is like… Okay. You're carpooling to work. And if you're not carpooling, you're honest-to-god living together. What the hell.
So a lot of it is this web of inferences--it has to be, at least currently--but I really do think there's a lot to chew on. More than meets the eye, anyway. I've also been stewing in all of this for years, especially since drafting Jo's relationships section, so I might just have inhaled the fumes for too long lol
Thank you for coming to me about the nature of their relationship! Although I did put it down as being more-or-less 'uncertain' on my chart, I do agree that their relationship isn't as cut-and-dry as other relationships might be (it's going back to appreciating the complexities of RGG relationships, especially in the case of the Arakawa's where for every party involved it really IS complicated)
I wanted to exclude making any definitive statements on things that couldn't be verified without making a detour on the original post (I know I already mentioned frequently that Arakawa is able to joke about Jo being 'softer' on Masato, but I do think about their relationship often and the implied depth of Jo's loyalty if- as you said- he was able to climb through the ranks of the Arakawa family much quicker than preexisting members), but there are clear points in the game that due allude to a great trust between the two (and I also note that carpooling detail during Ichi's flashback- or at the very least I know I'd find myself noticing Jo sitting in the back opposed to the front/driving). It's definitely not hard to assert that Jo knows Arakawa well either, it's hard not to come to that conclusion when we have evidence from the game to infer that.
#long post#fave#i should prob come up with an actual tag for these asks so i can easily find them and not sift through my other fave'd posts#ill do it in the morning im right about to go to bed but i just saw this pop up on my notifications#and well. we know me i've been presented an itch i have to scratch LMAO#snap chats#i feel a bit silly now- i know that their relationship isn't exactly. 'uncertain' but i didnt want to put that so i didn't appear#hmm.. i dont know the word for it.#i guess because it's not AS blatant as daigo and mine's relationship was#i didnt want to make it appear as though i was saying theres more when there isnt?? tho there definitely is..#its a little evident i Am interested in the depths of their relationship so i promise ive thought about it#maybe i just wasnt sure how to exactly word it.. though in review the way i worded it on my chart#wasn't HORRIBLE. to most standards anyway i think however it definitely undermines the bond they have and for that#'ashamed' is hyperbolic i feel like someone would say so we'll go with 'embarrassed' to meet in the middle#but thats the benefit of peer review isnt it- just to help catch your mistakes or to help reaffirm ideas so im grateful!#but x2 again in review im a silly coward for doubting my gut on that#tho i sort of do want to torch that post- i wont tho. it's not supposed to be SUPER deep just very quick notes#so i guess i'll save the Deep Dive on jo and masumi's relationship for a future post. is what ill tell myself to keep myself sane#thank you for compiling- i suppose i'll call- their moments together !#it's a great way to keep track of every important note on their relationship that i hope people will take note of if they havent
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Sniper tf2 x Glados Portal can be a wlw relationship. actually
#sorry. sorry. sorry. sorry. but my friends told me uwu cringe is dead uwu post what u want so THIS is the shit ur getting#maybe i do shehim sniper tf2 a little bit. i just don't post abt it bc honestly i don't trust you people to not make it into Discourse#he's a girl who is a gross dude and also me in real life. take notes#not tagging this one too much bc i am ashamed. eugh#tf2#sniper#portal#glados#open mick night
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i have an unhealthy amount of feelings about byler for someone who has only seen the first season
#byler fanfiction writers are some of the best writers out there#and i stand by that#i have read so much byler fanfiction that at this point i feel like if i watch the show i’ll just be disappointed#and im not ashamed to say it#okay maybe a little bit#byler#stranger things#daisy originals
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[ young vic sometimes craving a boyfriend big enough that he could hide behind and whose arm he could safely cling onto? far more likely than you think. ]
#[ especially since he's lived under the full blast of his father's quiet judgment his whole life ]#[ he's not ashamed to admit he wouldn't mind a stronk boyfriend (okay maybe he is a little bit) ]#[ he'd never actually hide behind someone else but the existing possibility would calm him lol ]#; about Victor#V; Novice
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#i should be writing this in my journal but i feel like i do not regret drunk calling my ex yesterday like ok maybe i might’ve embarrassed#myself but this is something i needed to do for a closure#everyone has done this at some point but i can’t help but feel a little bit ashamed even though i know at some point i would’ve done this-#eventually
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the urge to change my name and make a new account to have a fresh clean slate is so big off and on lately djfjkl idk why
i would miss friends and mutuals though and followers i see in my activity feed so i won't do that but like. i kind of wish i could like. not be held down so much by how i feel ppl perceive me, i want to say things or do things that would be considered "out of character" bc i have a lot of shifts going on in brain rn (like things are shuffling around and being re-organized almost?) and i just want to be able to let myself exist without feeling like i need to be consistent fdsfjkl
idk if that makes sense. i probably won't be posting anything to do with that here until its more concrete and i can slowly shift towards that instead of the current state of being, but also i really wish i could share the cool things i'm realizing or piecing together or thinking about, but i just feel like it would be weird or cringe or whatever. but god i feel like this might be really healthy finally and i might be able to like,,, not be literally constantly running shame and suicide in the background of my brain, those might be able to shut down for a bit which would be so nice
#idk fhsdgjkl this doesnt make sense probably but im just#things are changing in brain finally i think and im able to explore it a bit better and learn to work with it#this brain is definitely not anywhere near normal or average which. makes sense. traumatized child setting things up for life and-#-then add dissociative disorder on top of that and all the egostates or whatever not coming together like theyre supposed to and now#you've got scattered pieces all across the board#also i think there IS an inner world more than what i've realized but i've been unable to see it properly or access it bc of my-#frankly insane amounts of shame. like it would've been extremely distressing for me to realize i had that before now#it is still a little scary and distressing which is why i can't like. access it still but i have been feeling glimpses of it#maybe im making this all up idk but... it doesnt feel like when i make things up fdsjkl it feels like when theres smth true that-#-i dont want to acknowledge is true. like im trying to shove it away and pretend it doesnt exist bc im ashamed and feel cringe#but it isn't going away so. i would like to try to work with it#and just let myself be curious instead of ashamed#maybe i'll post on our system sideblog about things idk fsgjkl it feels too public here but i DO want to share bc its interesting-#-and god knows i can't journal for the life of me (there is... trauma around that) so dsgjkl maybe that would work best#okay cool i'll stop rambling about DID and brain stuff bc ppl will think im being weird probably fshdfjkl thats why i never talk about it-#-here bc i know its seen as ''cringe'' to have this disorder and its weird and strange and not normal#which yknow. it isn't normal. it is a bit strange. but thats trauma babeyyy lmao#but i just . dont want ppl to think badly of me. unfortunately the others in system dont think that way and dont care so they post here LOL#SO much more than i post about things which is totally fair and i'm not going to get upset at them bc i DO need to work thru this shame#its unhealthy for me and also it can be harmful for OTHER pwDID/systems if im being embarrassed about having this disorder#okay im done now for real HDHGJKL sorry abt the ramble#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#delete later probably
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i’m the greedy grinner i post my art and sit on this goddamn website waiting for someone to reblog it with tags GUSHING about my talent and how beautiful it is
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My music is lesbian indie yearning songs and divorced dad rock
#and im not ashamed t9 say it#okay maybe a little bit#admitting i listen to weezer urks me but its okay
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Yeah sure but what about the notion that dominated the minds of the 19th century philosophers?
#hello professor yes this is my tumblr please ignore my posts about minecraft men this sentance was too funny not to post here#i promise i didn't plagiarize a random tumblr user. my tumblr account plagiarized a random academic paper tho 👍#also please ignore the posts ive made regarding writing this exam. its really interesting i promise#im just very slow and have too many thoughts. so its a bit frustrating at times#i doubt this sentance even is funny to a native english speaker. which i know you are#i really am about to out my tumbkr account to you over this maybe half-funny at best sentance#oh well i am not ashamed of liking to watch block men. maybe a little bit. im sure youre cool tho. you seem kinda like a tumblr user#i mean that as a compliment btw. or as much of a compliment as it can be
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