#maybe I am being too harsh
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Walton Goggins interview for Den of Geek, Fallout press junket at SWSX 2024
#walton goggings#jonathan nolan#todd howard#jfc why journalist are like this#I'm sorry if something is being adapted have the decency to search about it#it feels stupid some questions like this#walton made a joke and the vibe was so awkward for the terrible joke that people weren't vibin emmidiatelly that broke my heart#he took like champion#also TODD HOWARD FACE#A FACE OF THE MAN WHO DEV THE FUCKING GAME AND KNOWS EVERYTHING WHY THE NOSE IT IS HOW IT IS#I would do it the same face if some stupid ass question like this would come up#maybe I am being too harsh#but with this opportunity to see these artist to waist time in such lame joke question#urgh#also not seeing videos with aaron being worried about it
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does anyone else have horny and non-horny ships? like binggeyuan is totally a horny ship & so is anything with tianlang-jun. i don't really read that much pwp but i will read the FILITHIEST things if they involve a heavenly demon ig. but tender binggeyuan always just seems so...wrong. tbh i think you have to be in a certain state of mind to truly appreciate the freak4freak dynamic they have going on...like any reasonable person would dump lbg's ass but then again sy has the wife halo so it all works out.
but recently i've been super into qijiu but they're such a turnoff. istg it's like watching a divorced couple fuck awkwardly. there's not even a hot exes to lovers thing it's just awful. i refuse to believe in hot qijiu smut. even milfjiu can't save it. like sub yqy and dom sj is like amazing in theory but i can't help thinking about how yqy would apologize every 10 seconds for "hurting" sj but not in like a sexy way and just kill the mood. i love them but i cannot read their smut. i will read the worst qijiu fics if they have the right tags but i cannot read pwp. maybe i just need my horizons expanded lol.
#svsss#mtxt#qijiu#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#og!shen qingqiu#binggeyuan#luo bingge#shen yuan#maybe im being harsh on qijiu smut bc usually it's fine but like#does yqy even concieve of sex as a thing that he can enjoy#i feel like he thinks he isn't worthy of “taking” pleasure from shen jiu#argh they have too many FEELINGS#you know what im being closeminded divorced dad sex can still be hot in the hands of a good writer#how am i getting secondhand embarrassment from my own post
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john isn’t the stepdad, he’s the dad who didn’t step up
#legends of tomorrow#i’m halfway through a season six rewatch and oh boy#john constantine#astra logue#maybe i’m being too harsh towards him (i am) (but in another more real way i’m not harsh enough)
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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Well, that was unsurprising.
#19 edits has posted a fic#i had to back button after three sentences#just how they constructed sentences hurt my head#i know i'm not great at writing (and still sometimes wanna spell it grammer not grammar) but still#maybe its a ymmv type dealie#pretty sure most people would be ok with it. i'm just a petty snob#(yup. i'm not a nice person after 2am. sorry about that?)#its me hi im the problem its me#petty post is petty#went back before posting this thinking maybe i'm being too harsh. nope#the paragraph of exposition made me pinch the bridge of my nose before back buttoning again#think that's one to avoid#(which is a shame because the idea of the apocalypse sounds good if a bit hackneyed - very aschen)#(they do mention a few inspirations so... *shrug*)#am i being harsh? i actually don't know 😬#i'm going to bed
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Yesss @ your tags on the Childe post. I want to add that even if someone is shaped by trauma/an extreme upbringing, as he very well may have been, unless someone is insane or having an episode of something their actions are still them. It makes his behaviour more sympathetic but (or rather AND) he still has agency over his actions.
I feel like ~the discourse~ can be terrible at handling this sort of character because it can suck at acknowledging the uglier side of mental illness and neurodivergence- the way that hurt people hurt people- with nuance in general. So he has to be sorted into Traumatised(TM) and therefore forgivable or Irredeemable(TM) and can't be sympathised with at all.
yeah! childe is, pretty obviously, traumatised (and as you said may or may not have had an extreme upbringing we don't really know yet iirc but it could be implied), but i feel like that makes it even more important to acknowledge that, as you said, his actions are still his, because i feel like people have this tendency to look at a character and then either decide that everything they ever do even slightly wrong is completely justified and forgivable because they're traumatised or label them as an irredeemable monster and disregard the aspect of it that stems from the fact that they themselves have been deeply hurt because that means that they can't continue to view that character as having absolutely no humanity anymore.
as you mentioned, i think the main issue with the discourse is that people seem to have such a hard time reconciling the fact that someone can be shaped by trauma and their upbringing and still be aware of their actions and the consequences of those actions, and then because of that they end up sliding to one of the two extremes with their interpretation of the character and like. they can be traumatised and shaped by that trauma and still have their actions be Them. they're not being controlled by some Ghost Trauma Force or anything lol (unless as you said they are insane or having an episode of something but that's a different topic) they are Choosing to do those things and therefore have accountability for those actions; this also means, however, that it would be literally impossible for every action they take to come from a place of pure evil - people can, in fact, exist in shades of grey in terms of morality (shocking, i know)
#sorry i feel like i just reiterated a load of your points and then babbled unnecessarily about them lol#can you tell that brevity is not my strong suit#also. i know it sounds basic but i feel like a lot of this just boils down to people being unable to accept that people be good but also do#things that you might consider evil. like. i feel like some people just need to understand that morality is never black or white lmao#it feels like a basic statement but some people still don't seem to get it#am i being too harsh. maybe. idk#asks#childe
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okay so not a fan of Space Babies unfortunately, 3/5 ★s
the babies are creepy, its too fast paced, the monster is just straight up gross and makes me feel uncomfortable...
love Ncuti as the Doctor mind, his charms are through the roof and 15 seems so warm and silly if you ignore his odd tendency to traumadump so much
(again, I will be seeing you at group therapy later Doctor)
and Ruby is fun! she's cute! she's also just.. unbelievable???
she just gives big fictional character in a fictional setting vibes and feels unrelatable???
where past companions have felt like actual people you could relate to somewhat???
shes a good character! i just dont feel she hit very well in this episode and felt fake???
and that's not inherently a bad thing, especially if the whole thing is because of the toymaker fucking shit up like i saw someone else theorise
i just... feel uneasy??
I'm hoping that as the season goes on and everything settles in I will stop feeling that way, but i remember Clara felt this way too and i never did start to genuinely like her in the end
I could appreciate her and enjoy moments with her, but never actually grew to care for the character or her story
i hope that won't be the case again with Ruby, i would love to fall in love with her character
Despite Ruby feeling so... ????? so far, i have high hopes for the reast of the season still
Millie is doing fantastic! i love her energy! her and Ncuti have amazing chemistry already
it could just be that Ruby as a character just won't be for me, which wouldn't make her a bad character, but i really do hope that im wrong about her and this was just a 1 episode fluke
i liked her enough in ACORR and she seems so interesting!
i really hope it was just the rushed pacing of Space Babies that caused this feeling
so, again - I am ranking the first episode of the new season, Space Babies, 3/5 ★s
#am i being too harsh??#maybe? idk man#space babies#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#vaxxy watches doctor who
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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found some old oc art on my art fight
#i still like these a lot.. hehe#i think the first one mustve been spring 2021 and the second one hm.. earlier than that. i wanna say 2019?#this is just another example of younger me being a better artist than current me#i don't think i could replicate this now#i remember drawing them#because they both took a considerable amount of time#but these days i am too harsh and judgemental and too short of time to illustrate#maybe in another world..#milkart2206#oc tag
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do you hate peter b??
I don't hate him; I'm just frustrated with him. I love the whole mentor/mentee dynamic between the two, but Peter was barely a mentor for Miles. Even though he had the power to visit Miles on a silver fucking platter, he didn't even bother to check up on him and continue his training. Everything Miles did in ATSV was Miles and Miles alone. Peter had nothing to do with his glow-up and STILL thought Miles was the same, unskilled thirteen-year-old who couldn't even relax his fingers to unstick himself from the ceiling.
I adore Peter, but he dropped the ball in ATSV, and no amount of hugs or apologies will ever repair what was damaged between him and Miles. Seriously, if my mentor tried to convince me that my father had to die and tried to sell me that "bad things happen to people all the time" spiel, and that I can't do anything about it, AND was associated with a fucking cult sent to "contain" me for daring to want to do things differently, I'd lose all respect for them.
#atsv#I'm team Miles Morales until the day I die#the way I see it Miles is a victim because the Spiders kept him in the dark and tried to force him to accept that his loving father will di#and that he can't do anything about it because of some canon bullshit#and Miles also had to find out that the man he looked up to had the means to go visit him but didn't even bother#maybe I am too harsh on Peter but fuck it#Miles deserved so much better#and I'm tired of black children being expected to be the adults and accepting the bare minimum#if you don't like this just keep scrolling
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So Liam was my first ever andromeda romance (listen, he was cute and friendly and passionate about what he did, I couldn't resist), and I think what a lot of people dislike about him is he usually takes risks first and only tells others about them when they either blow up in his face or work out. Which isn't ideal in the current situation where communication is key to survival. He is used to making quick, potentially risky decisions on his own due to his background in crisis response and rescue, which, as i mentioned, doesn't really work on a crisis this big. Also, he clashes with Vetra, but given their different upbringing and views on life, it can be understandable, but a lot of people dislike him for it. I do feel like he is a little stuck in the way he handles the world around him, but he isn't as bad as some of the fandom makes him out to be, since he does show willingness to grow. So, overall, not my favourite character, but he isn't as bad as some of the fandom makes him out to be. In my opinion. I am a little iffy on Cora's general personnality, but that's because I don't know her very well and never really take her anywhere since I feel like our personalities wouldn't mesh well. The way she handles some things irritates me (same with Liam), but she has more nuance than she is usually given credit for, from what i can tell. -blue anon
I think it's Andromeda writing and pacing that's not giving him justice.
Mass effect writting was always corny in a way, campy more accurately. Cliche but fondly so and the pacing was just right. Most importantly, it was self aware. The writers knew the tropes they were leaning into and it clearly showed. That's why it hits so hard when a twist comes since you get used to expecting to know what comes next.
In Andromeda the pacing is thrown out the window since it's an open world game. Making scenes with Liam either feel too rushed or too spaced out depending on your playstyle and how many times you talk to him. Sometimes it felt like he's moving too fast, other times like he's giving me the cold shoulder.
Even his speech feels...rushed? It's bite sized scenes. Not giving him enough time to fully talk and express his thoughts. Compare any of his scenes at the start with that one scene with Kaidan where he awkwardly explains his backstory at jump zero.
Was it convoluted and painstakingly long? Yes but it gave him time to shine. Players who cared about him enjoyed the exposition a lot, especially with how much he was opening up. He spoke in details and stuttered a lot because it is true to his character.
Meanwhile when liam talks about himself, it feels chopped and out of place because of his writing. Like I know chopped, and the way his speech jumps from point A to Z immediately without any letter in between just makes it feel like a fever dream. It's like you're speaking with someone who's trying to say many things at once and you end up leaving not sure what the fuck the two of you were even talking about.
A lot of Andromeda writting suffers from trying to be hip and cool while being corny? Like you can't be camp if you desperately attempt to be genuinely cool and modern, these things contrast. Liam is a character that was clearly ment to represent a casual chill guy with a chaotic side and modern tones. Not too wild like Peebee but not too non-human like Cora, he's new but not new new.
So he ends up being written like what a kid imagines a cool guy to be and it doesn't work in his favour at all.
You have to look past a lot of bad writing to see his genuine traits and core ideas shine through is what I'm saying. There this muddy fog between you and the character he was meant to be.
Because he's exactly like you described! But only after you have all the pieces to his personality and be able to filter him from the horrible game writing.
Liamn was very interesting to me at the start. Like you immediately focus on him after creating your character because he is directly opposite from you during the scene and you can't help but stare at him. It was organic and so beautifully done how he was seamlessly introduced, catching your attention.
But man it is downhill after that. There is just....nothing below the surface, a thousand yards empty stare. Kaidan and Ashley felt like actual people most of the time while Liam and Cora always felt like characters in a videogame.
Like of course you'll say that, you're a character in a videogame. They were never immersive and never gave their tropes any rest. Delivering their roles of being characters perfectly and making you aware you're playing a game.
I am giving him more chances, since your ask, I've started taking him with Vetra along on missions just to hear their dialogue because nothing makes characters shine like conflict.
And it's...tame. fine. Okay.
Mild.
Boring.
Delivered like a first time stand up comedian on a stage who keeps shuffling their cards loudly before reading from them.
I wish they actually made them hate each other like Ashley used to do with other companions. I wish they gave him some claws or gave Vetra a spine. I wish they revealed anything interesting besides vague comments about vague past events with vague characters we never mention by name because fuck making commitment and actually developing character backstories huh?
They never commit, never reveal much. Just vagueness.
I love Jaal but he too is becoming very boring. I mean fumbling an interesting character like him that's basically the curent closest thing to an actual alien ingame is almost impressive for Andromeda.
I liked Jaal and Liam interactions but it never went anywhere. Liam is supposed to be this risktaker, act now think later and the personification of the phrase "curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back" and yet he can't actually do any risk taking with the game constantly holding him back.
A fucking movie night is the biggest thing he can manage? I expected strip poker with alcohol energy drinks potion mixing from this guy and we just get movie night??? That gets delayed back????
I love the guy but I am disappointed.
So I get you. The way you see him is for who his character was supposed to be, the way I wish he was given justice in his portrayal. But not what he currently is ingame.
Because this is the Liam we have ingame
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This paper is actually going quite well.
Too bad it's complete bullshit.
#I'm not lying#but I'm definitely not being brutally honest about the historiography here#look the first few works are technically all social histories but there's a qualitative difference from the later ones#and the politics is still important enough that I should get to call them political histories#Also frankly I don't care#I just need to finish the damn paper by midnight and then I will be free of this fucking course#I have never in my LIFE dreaded going to class before this course#And honestly? It's soul crushing! I have no will to succeed here!#My only motivation is that I liked the rest of the semester and I need to pass this class to continue the program!#the professor asked for an additional evaluation (still anonymous) and I'm torn about how brutal to be#because on the one hand it was an enlightening course and I am definitely better equipped as a historian than I was three months ago.#on the other hand every single one of my classmates had completely given up by the end because no matter what we did it wasn't good enough#and also the professor was just fucking mean a whole bunch. But in that subtle way where you feel crazy for noticing.#so the class was horrible but I don't want him to feel horrible but also maybe he deserves it??? I can't even tell if he's actually a dick#or just acts like one#which is perhaps not a meaningful distinction but if he doesn't mean to I'd feel bad being too harsh#though several incidents make me think he meant to#blegh. It'll all be over by midnight!#And then I can focus on studying for women's history and - joy of joys - writing a syllabus about Victorian fashion and politics#I fucking love historical fashion that's going to be absurdly fun
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Cary Elwes filmography tier list
bc after watching Machenka I went back and actually finished the movies I'd previously only skimmed through
TV shows appearances, voice roles and the 6 unavailable tv pilots aren't included bc 1) it's hard to judge just from a couple of eps and 2) then I'd have to rate stuff like Sophie I and Family Guy 3) there'd have to be more than 125 items on this list
#i feel like i missed something but i rly dont know anymore!#really wanted to add the tv shows as well since ive seen them but god would this list be long#feel a bit sorry about yesterday's hero being in the same category as the oogieloves but listen he isn't even visible on screen#cary elwes#my own#cat C is basically idk how to feel about it maybe id been to harsh maybe id been too nice... it depends#a lot of them could pass as B or as D tbh#robin hood MIT is in S and not B because i am biased and i do not care about the criticism 🙉#another release from my drafts bc floridians are giving me hell at work
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Yeah I know I am days behind kinktober but shit happens JSJSJS. Ofc it's gonna be all posted before October ends. So I will continue to apologize and cry 😚👍🏻.
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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also I'm torn between like, for his sake I want Mal as the City Witch to be liked and respected by the citizens of Widdershins and stuff... but it's also funnier and possibly more on brand if people are like 'ffs this scruffy asshole again...' like I feel mal wolfe ben are kind of pernamently losers in some form and things cant go too well for them because their primary job is get hit by household object.
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