Beboptober Day 18: Don’t Lose Me
Thanks to @thestarlightsymphony for the prompt list! I know, it looks like I’ve skipped Day 17, and...I kinda have (sorry!), but not permanently. I’ve just had the idea for this for a really long time, so I’ve decided to catch up and do Day 17 at some other point during the month, along with another prompt. It will lead to things being a little out of order, but what’s life without a little variety, right?
Oh, and credit where credit’s due—I think I got the idea of Faye keeping a journal at all from Chapter 4 of @beccanoodles’ one-shot collection “With Love, From Bebop” (read it here), although in that one, Ed takes it over!
June 9, 2007
Dear Diary,
Today some of my friends and I found a Betamax tape recorder, and we all decided to use it to record messages to our future selves. It was a little embarrassing at first! I kept getting shy and having to turn the camera off and start again. I guess it was hard to think of things to say to myself ten years from now. At first, all I could say was “Good morning,” and that made everyone laugh. I suppose part of the reason why it was easier for my friends is that they know exactly what they want to be, and they can see their future selves so clearly. Sara wants to be a vetrenarian veterinarian, Mei wants to work on Hyperspace Gates. But it’s hard for me to to imagine my future self.
Ten years from now I’ll be 22, almost 23. That seems so adult! I’ll be a newer version of myself—ten years older, ten years wiser—more mature, I hope. I guess I’ll have graduated from school & university and I’ll have a job, unless I decide to become a doctor or something and have to go to even more school (UGH) and do lots of math (UGGGGHHHH). But I guess my future self knows best—maybe I’d actually be a great doctor and I don’t know it yet. I really have no idea what I’ll be doing with my life that far in the future….For a while I thought maybe I wanted to be an actress, because it sounded like fun. But I sort of gave up on that dream after I was only cast as Villager #3 in the play this year. (Vivien says it’s just because Director Chen doesn’t see my talents, but I think she’s just saying that to make me feel better!) Whatever it is I’m doing in the future, though, I hope it’s something I like, not just something I’m pushed into or anything. I bet I’ll be great at it, especially with 10 more years of experience!
Oh, and I hope that I’ve traveled lots of places and seen lots of new sights by the time I’m 22! I especially want to go to space and see some other planets. I’ve been to a few places on Earth with my family—I told you about that trip to Tokyo earlier in this diary, and we’ve also been to London and New York and a few parts of Beijing—but I’ve never actually been on a rocket, not even one that’s just in orbit. Someday I’d like to see other planets, like Mars or the Moon. (The Moon’s not a planet but whatever.) I bet it will be easier to go there in the future and they’ll have more people and stuff on them, specially with all that Mei says about the new advancing tecknology technology of Hyperspace Gates. It all sounds so exciting!
But there are also some things I hope don’t change. Like I hope that, so far in the future, I still have my friends. I’d be so sad to lose them, even if we just fall out of touch, which Dad says might happen now that we’re all entering our first year of secondary school. Maybe I’ll make new friends, though, in addition to the ones I have already. Maybe ten years from now all of us can watch the tape and laugh and remember how we used to be.
I wonder if I’ll have a boyfriend?
Now that I’m writing this and I’ve recorded the tape, I think, most of all, I hope I don’t change too much—that I don’t lose the things that make me me. Yes, my future self may seem really foren foriegn (dang it) foreign to me now, but she’s really just me, just a little older. I hope she’s still the good things my friends and my parents say I am—compassionate, caring, creative. Plus 10 years of experience and growth and stuff, of course. I hope she’s happy and she has friends, and she’s doing okay. I really want that to look forward to when I’m grown up. When I’m her, I guess.
I thought about this a lot today after my friends left and I did the rest of the recording by myself. I even put on my cheerleading outfit and gave my future self a cheer I’d made up! It’s a little embarrassing, now that I think about it…but I was proud of it. I hope my future self will like it. Or at least that it will make her laugh.
I don’t know what exactly will happen in the future, or what my future self will be like. When she arrives on the scene, I won’t be here anymore. But she won’t totally have lost me. I’m here right now, and even ten years from today I’ll still be there on the tape we recorded today and, I guess, in this diary. And in memories. My future self will know I’m cheering for her, that I love her so much and look up to her (how mature she must be!) and want things to be okay for her. I hope she’s looking back in time and cheering for me, too.
- Faye ♡
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waiting for us ― a skz social media au.
pairing. OT8 x fem!reader
synopsis. At age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. You've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them.
genre. soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut
cw. swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, eventual smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault/harassment, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, reader is really bad at feelings, ulzzang pics (this is more so to focus on the fashion), appearance of junhao, yeji and hyunjin are siblings, more to be added
status: ongoing! / taglist: CLOSED! send an ask or sign up here to be on the waitlist
wanna support my work? consider buying me a coffee.
yn's accounts | the boys
chapter one. go to horny jail
chapter two. sus
chapter three. welcome home cheater
chapter four. you come here often?
chapter five. sk8er boi
chapter six. just a coincidence
chapter seven. soulmate tingle
chapter eight. down bad
chapter nine. avoidance
chapter ten. feminine urges
chapter eleven. the whole circus
chapter twelve. fairy boy
chapter thirteen. apologies
chapter fourteen. simp behavior
chapter fifteen. not slick
chapter sixteen. scooby doo
chapter seventeen. screwed over
chapter eighteen. back off hoe
chapter nineteen. the gig
chapter twenty. the plan™
chapter twenty one. yn
chapter twenty two. a chance
chapter twenty three. good morning
chapter twenty four. totally subtle
chapter twenty five. opening up
chapter twenty six. howls moving castle
chapter twenty seven. a deal
chapter twenty eight. girls daye
chapter twenty nine. girl dinner
chapter thirty. the clit
chapter thirty one. knight in shining armor
chapter thirty two. masterpieces
chapter thirty three. #NPP
chapter thirty four. beach episode
chapter thirty five. in the rain
chapter thirty six. rumours
chapter thirty seven. laser tag
chapter thirty eight. cat cafe
chapter thirty nine. bruises
chapter fourty. sunrise
waiting for us masterlist part 2!!!!
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Everything Everywhere All At Once became the movie of all time™ for me the minute they made Joy the antagonist. The minute Waymond said, “There was one jumper who stood out from the rest; but you pushed her too far. The pressure of it fractured her completely”, it was UP!
Joy was wreaking havoc across dimensions begging for her mother to see her. To see who she created. To force her to understand that the same potential that devastates Evelyn is the same one she inherited. To beg her to understand that if Evelyn couldn’t carry it, how could she?
A masterpiece. Sorry to the haters.
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