#mary jane water buffalo
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Mary Jane Water Buffalo from The Spectacular Spider-Ham comics.
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If Mary Jane Water Buffalo makes a cameo in Into the Spiderverse 2, she’d better live up to the ‘Buff’ part.
#sfw#marvel#spiderman#into the spiderverse#artists on tumblr#spider ham#mary jane watson#mary jane water buffalo#the spectacular spider ham#comics#character design#character redesign#redesign#my art#bri’s art#ohfugecannada
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When we last left the Springs-Eternal family, the heir Justice was just about to grow up to be a teenager. Hope took the baby Mercy to work on accident. A certain stray dog stuck around. Patrick might FINALLY get a job.
What will happen next?
“Hello hello and welcome back to another day in paradise. This is Ajay, bringing the blues and the news.”
“The local militia has strongly advised that all persons stay inside from the hours of 8pm to 6AM PVT. The curfew is in effect for your protection. If you or a family member is displaying symptoms of the rotting sickness, please report to the nearest medical facility immediately.
And now, on to Mamma Marguerite’s Story Hour.”
“Hey ya’ll, Mamma is not feeling well today, so this is Wendy filling in.
When we last left Laura, Christmas time was coming, and the cousins were coming to visit them at the little cabin in the big woods…”
“The day before Christmas they came. Laura and Mary heard the gay ringing of sleigh bells, growing louder every moment, and then the big bobsled came out of the woods and drove up to the gate. Aunt Eliza and Uncle Peter and the cousins were in it, all covered up, under blankets and robes and buffalo skins.”
“They were wrapped up in so many coats and mufflers and veils and shawls that they looked like big, shapeless bundles. When they all came in, the little house was full and running over. Black Susan ran out and hid in the barn, but Jack leaped in circles through the snow, barking as though he would never stop. Now there were cousins to play with!“
“As soon as Aunt Eliza had unwrapped them, Peter and Alice and Ella and Laura and Mary began to run and shout. At last Aunt Eliza told them to be quiet. Then Alice said: "I'll tell you what let's do. Let's make pictures."”
“Alice said they must go outdoors to do it, and Ma thought it was too cold for Laura to play outdoors. But when she saw how disappointed Laura was, she said she might -”
“Drip, turn that off”
*click*
“So, you’re certain they are moving product independently?”
“Yes. You and the family control the supply lines for food and all other products. The only conclusion that I’ve been able to come to is that they must be growing it themselves. I’m having Benji scope the place for evidence. What makes the most sense is that it’s being grown using a hydroponic system.”
“Hydroponic?”
“Yes, hydroponic.”
“I heard you the first time. Care to explain what that means?
“It’s a way of growing plants without soil. The roots of the plant are in direct contact with the support material, usually nutrient-rich water. I’ve looked into it and it seems like they started the hydroponic growth system right about the time Pitstop Valley was able to reinstate its plumbing system. It explains, (but also hides) the recent spike in water usage for the radio station.”
“Huh. Makes sense Drip. College did you some good after all. So that means that Monty fucking lied.”
“Yes.”
“He lied to your face, which means he lied to my face. Fucking ungrateful, disrespectful...call up Caden to take care of him.”
“Yes sir….sir, a thought?”
“Oh yes Miss College?”
“If the hydroponic system is there, we can take it and use it. Grow food to supplement food supplies.”
“A regular farmer Jane over here! You want to grow more food, do ya? Cute idea, but who the fuck knows how to use that water shit anyway?”
“Tiffany Zarubin and the other former garden club could be…encouraged to provide such a service. Could be another revenue stream for the family as well. Grow food and set the cost. There would be high demand for vegetables that didn’t come from a can.”
“God, if I don’t have to eat another can of green beans that will be the fucking day. Could Tiffany grow some oranges? I’d love a real orange.”
“I don’t know sir. But with the right encouragement, I’m sure she could figure it out”.
“….okay, when Benji comes back, get in touch with Tiffany. Don’t say shit to Caden unless Benji confirms. You’re dismissed.”
“Yes boss”.
~~~
Back at the founding Witch’s Hut, Justice is a teen! Looking like his mom mostly.
Hope and Patrick make short work of embarrassing him immediately of course.
“MOMMMM, GOD”
“Oh Justice you should have seen her in college dear. Regular town bicycle that one.”
Before the Education restriction is lifted, all needs must roll for the aspiration. Wish me luck trying to keep Justice out of the red!
Justice gets right to work being a big brother again.
I also realized at this point that I was dead sick of taking dark photos. So even with the Science restriction saying I can’t have lights, I am making a small exception.
Though they may not have working electricity, an apocalypse almost certainly has candles, right? I’m going to go ahead and say candles are okay.
Justice has inherited Patrick’s love of the Dance. They may be subsisting on hot dogs but no on can take dance from you!
Patrick gets a job in the Culinary career track so that we can start working on the Culinary restriction fucking finally.
As Patrick heads off to his first day, the Matchmaker drops off the genie lamp which we almost certainly are not allowed to use.
Culinary
“Hunger is the best spice”
The gas lines and power grid have been severely damaged. Running a gas stove or electric appliance carries too much of a risk. The radiation levels are too high to risk using a microwave either. Food is scarce. The quality of the food the Sims can get is very poor and can bring illness to some. Coffee is now scarce in the region due to supply cuts. Fresh food is non-existent.
-Sims may not purchase or use anything from the “Ovens” or “Small appliances” category except for the cheapest grill.
-You may only prepare food once per sim day. Once any sim has prepared food, no other may do so for the rest of the day. A sim making a one-serving meal counts. (An easy way to keep track of this restriction is to turn the fridge backwards after a sim has taken food from it, and keeping it that way until midnight)
-Sims pulling out baby bottles does NOT count against this limit and may be done as many times per day as needed.
-Sims may not prepare food on community lots
-Sims may not eat at restaurants on community lots.
-You may not use the “Delivery” menu on the phone to order Pizza or Chinese food.
-Sims may not purchase prepared food from community lots (such as pre-made cakes from a bakery)
-Sims may not hold food in inventory.
-Sims may not flag any food item as ‘for sale’ with the wholesale tool.
-Sims may not purchase or use birthday cakes, wedding cakes, the bakery display case or any catering buffet tables.
-Only Sims in the culinary career track can make use of the Chocolate maker.
-Filling any pet food bowl, the wormrat cage or bird cages counts against the family’s “one meal per day” limit.
-Sims may not “give treat” to pets.
-Sims may not purchase or use the Juicer
-Sims may not stock fresh food in their fridge
-You may grill fish, even with the culinary restriction in place.
-You may NOT store fresh food in the fridge until the restriction is lifted.
-You may NOT use the juicer until the restriction is lifted.
-You may NOT put cooked food away as leftovers until the restriction is lifted.
As it’s a Sunday, everyone but Patrick is home.
Justice makes quick work of befriending Benji, Koda’s son. He needs friends, not only for his social meter, but when his parents eventually pass, so does their combined friends count. He’ll need that for needed for work.
Stray dog: “Don’t like that Flat-top lookin boy :P”
“My dad is the best cook there is! We eat a lot of hot dogs, but he’s described the most amazing vegan chili to me so many times that I can practically taste it.”
Stray dog: “Got any beds to eat?”
“Wow Mrs. Springs-Eternal, these hot dogs are way better than the ones my dad makes! A super-babe like you must feel lucky to get to eat so well.”
“Benji I’ll take the compliment and pass it along to my husband Patrick”.
The only one not invited to the hot dog feast is Mercy, who is attending to other matters.
Benji sticks around for the whole day.
He’s even here when Patrick comes home from work WITH NO PROMOTION AHEM PATRICK.
“Ah I see my dear wife used the quinoa-cannellini dogs I had in the freezer. An excellent choice for our guest.”
Max the stray: *continues to stop by every single day*
Yep, another blissful day in this wintery hellscape.
And soon enough, it’s time for Hope’s birthday too. This one is a little bittersweet, as due to the Service Animal restriction, once any Sim turns elder, you may no longer issue any direct commands to them, nor cancel any of their actions.
“I’m worried Patrick. I see elders at St. Circe’s all the time. My medical staff reports that they are often malnourished, starving even. Many have wet them selves and most are fatigued. Many have their wits about them, but some do not. They seem to have their full memories, but it’s like they’ve ignored their most immediate needs, to the point of concern. Several of them come to us picked up by locals - none of them have made it to the hospital of their own accord. They seem to wander out at all hours, and we aren’t entirely sure why. They are at risk for falls, for serious injury and of course, for exposure to the rotting sickness. Many arrive to us frostbitten. I am afraid - I don’t want to be a burden to you and the kids. I have no reason to expect that all of that will not happen to me.”
“Oh my little fava bean, you could never be a burden to me. We cannot always be our best selves all of the time! We will take each day as it comes. You are hard-working and intelligent; there comes a time for rest for all of us.”
“Ugh GROSS can you guys cut it out?! I have a friend over!!”
And with that, Hope grows up well in a semi-decent outfit.
Our founder still looks pretty good! Jaunty ascot and all.
And almost forgotten (sorry kiddo) is Mercy, who is now a child.
Grew up into a lighter hair color for some reason, but of course I cannot change it.
“Daaaamn Justice, your mom Hope sure is putting the “Hope” in, “I HOPE this MILF doesn’t mind if I -”
“Benji, please shut up.”
After over half a day Benji does finally leave.
Max the stray: “And you stay out! This is my property to stalk”.
Already untethered from commands, Hope chooses to do a lot of resting on the Murphy bed.
She does a fair bit of staring waiting to interact with her mini-clone as well.
And desperately wanting to use the computer.
There’s also a lot of her going up to rotten food, considering eating it, then she cancels the action herself. Good job Hope. Last thing we need is a food poisoning death.
She also does a lot of tucking the kids in while unsupervised. Aww.
Monday comes around too soon again and Joey the Comb takes his cut. Sheesh! The cut seems steeper but really the family just has less money, with needing to buy another bed for Mercy.
Mercy is just as playful as her brother, though not as nice.
“Dad, what’s another name for zucchini noodles?”
“Oh! I’d love to make some zucchini noodles for you! Did you know, that in the spring, when we had spring, there would be wild onions growing called ramps, and you could harvest them? That would be excellent with zucc-”
“Impasta. That’s the answer Dad. IM-pasta-A, it was a joke. You ruined it.”
Speaking of her brother - I’ve got him meditating before 8am rolls around so that he doesn’t get on the school bus. The “no school for teens” restriction prior to unlocking the Education career track is still huge bummer to me. :(
Mercy’s still okay to go though.
To celebrate the small win of Patrick getting a job in the Culinary career track, the family invests in 2 countertops. The addition of which means that they have one more thing that can be cooked - hamburgers.
“I’ve used kidney beans as our base protein, and aquafaba for a binder. I know it might seem a little wasteful not to use chickpeas in addition to the aquafaba, but I’m going for a different texture than chickpeas can offer, plus the kidney beans provide a more appetizing color. I can just use the chickpeas later. With the aquafaba, a 1/2 cup of crushed tortilla chips as a dry binder adds much needed flavor! I only wish I had fresh garlic instead of powdered.”
Justice gets through his ever-falling grades through the power of meditation. I’d let him get a teen job, but I’ve read that a teen with bad grades will get fired almost immediately. :(
He’s also taken to exercise and yoga to pass the time.
“Max, my dream to get so jacked that no one can mess with me or my family.”
“Mercy, can you call out the fractions you are doing? That’s how many sets of jumping jacks I am going to do.”
“Justice shut UP! I’m doing history homework anyway you boob”
Patrick is still skilling as he is STILL not at the top of the Culinary career. I know I’m being impatient, but with Hope being undirectable and Mercy being a child, getting everyone fed enough and on time has gotten a lot harder.
“Justice you must be the biggest meat-brained dork I know.”
“I’ll swing you around if you let me read your spelling homework.”
“...okay.”
“WEEEEEE!”
Maybe Mercy is all crabby because she’s hungry. It’s seriously hard to keep this kid fed and satiated with all of everyone’s different schedules.
The realities of Hope’s elder state are starting to make themselves known.
Gee thanks Hope, not like that’s not one of the family’s most expensive and oft-used objects. She’s the only one on the lot with full mechanical skills, but without her being directable (and I can’t use influence either, as per the Politics restriction), we have to buy a new one instead of fixing it.
“Hope my crumpet, now I know you didn’t mean to break the computer on purpose, but this is very inconvenient for me, as the entirety of my children’s novel was on there, as well as the perfect lemon-rose black rice pudding. You’ve got to me more careful.”
“If you are feeling restless, you are more than welcome to sort through the cans I’ve found at the dump this week, and toss the dented and swollen ones.”
“Patrick you are so attractive when you chastise me.”
“Don’t try to distract me Hope, my vegan chili recipe was also on that computer.”
“Mom does stupid stuff because she got old and her brain is all full of holes like the paper snowflakes we make at school.”
“Mercy! That is not a kind thing to say.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that to me? Sometimes true things aren’t kind.”
“UHM YOO-HOO the fridge is turned around? I am starving?!”
*sigh* “Mom, you’re as busted as this computer.”
Now that there’s a counter on the porch the family has taken to eating meals alfresco.
Elder Hope does about as well as expected. She bothers everyone and wanders around until her bladder and energy are in the red.
Luckily Hope’s inner drive to do well hasn’t waned, and she still manages to go to work. Needed, if only for the paycheck and to get her fed for the day.
Mercy continues to be sassy, whether or not it’s from the lack of food, who is to say.
“Cool wig bus driver man, I didn’t know that hair could look clumpy and shiny at the same time.”
Justice continues to pump jump and jog to pass the hours.
He also greets walkbys intermittently. This one’s name is Courtney Allen and she’s not very interesting.
“I’d love to start the Mutant League Football league, recruiting the best players from all over the area to come together and show this town the real meaning of athleticism and community. Girls would be allowed to join of course. I come from a very progressive family.”
“Hehe sure get, can you progress to give me some food?”
“And you should have seen me with a protractor! Damn, even the teacher was like, ‘this kid knows his way around a protractor’.”
“Uh huh....so like, do you have any food?”
“My report card says, ‘needs to use kind words with people?’. Um, my friends are dumb and they need to know.”
At least someone is bringing home the bacon. Come on Patrick, fingers crossed, promotion...
Bupkis! Rats.
“Dad, why are you frowning at that book?”
“Mercy, my butternut squash, I’ve gotten feedback that my recipes are excellent. But management says I’ve got to work on my leadership skills. So I am reading up on it.”
There is not a single thing in the rules about catching fireflies, so Mercy’s welcome to do so.
“Justice says that they glow because of radiation!”
“Mom, I’m a big kid now, why do we still have my baby toys laying around?”
“Well Mercy there might be babies in this house again some day. So we are keeping them around for them to play with.”
I am also unable to delete or even move a single object until the Athletic restriction is lifted.
YAY Patrick finally - squints at other notification - Patrick nooooooo
“*cough* *cough* *hack*”
Damn you Patrick! This flu is going to run its course through the household now. With basically only 2 rooms there’s no avoiding it.
Hope’s mind, bit by bit, continues to slip.
“Hehe yeah I’m sure he’s the worst....but don’t know the guy you’re talking about, sorry.”
One helpful thing that Hope does to autonomously is clean like crazy. Doesn’t help too much when the tub is busted, but hey, it keeps her busy.
“Patrick, my brain is as fried as an egg.”
“Hope, you interrupted my coughing fit for this?”
Damn it SHIT! Damn flu. Hope’s at even more risk of death/general need decay than Patrick being undirectable and all.
OKAY if you say so. $10 says that Patrick gets sick again, either from his wife or from the rotten hotdogs on the porch.
Hope relives good old college times in the bathroom by falling asleep standing up. This is how we find out that she can only awaken by herself, not from another interacting with her. Joy.
“HOPE my dear stir-fried green bean I need to use the restroom, if you could PLEASE sleep elsewhere -”
~~~
And that’s where I gotta leave it for now, as the chapter is getting mighty long.
Will this flu be the end of our family? Will Justice reach his goal of getting super jacked? Will Mercy take a chill pill? Can Hope not die in a stupid way, please?
Until next time, Carry On, Woman!
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LUCY & BEDROCK! (TWIST! TWIST!)
Lucille Ball & “The Flintstones”
“The Flintstones” was TV’s first primetime animated sitcom. It was produced by Hannah-Barbara animation and ran on ABC TV from 1960 to 1966. Following the show's cancellation, a film called The Man Called Flintstone, a musical spy caper that parodied James Bond, was released that same year. The show was revived in the early 1970s and several different series and made-for-TV movies. The original show also was adapted into a live-action film in 1994, and a prequel, The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas, which followed in 2000.
Although not officially recognized by its creators, the show bears a very strong resemblance to TV’s “The Honeymooners”. Fred and Wilma Flintstone are reminiscent of Ralph and Alice Kramden, and they have best friends and neighbors Betty and Barney Rubble that are very similar to Ed and Trixie Norton. The original “Honeymooners” (1955-56) also was spun-off into future iterations, including musical episodes, just like “The Flintstones.”
Lucille Ball admired “Honeymooners” creator and Jackie Gleason and Gleason even played Ralph Kramden on “Here’s Lucy.” Ball also worked with the show’s other stars: Art Carney (in “Happy Anniversary and Goodbye” and “What Now Catherine Curtis”), Audrey Meadows (in “Mother of the Bride” on “Life With Lucy”) and even Jane Kean, who played Trixie in the color “Honeymooners” (who was seen on a 1966 episode of “The Lucy Show”).
CAST CONNECTIONS
Jean Vander Pyl (Wilma Flintstone / Pebbles) worked with Lucille Ball on several episodes of “My Favorite Husband” radio show in 1948.
Alan Reed (Fred Flintstone) played a train station luncheon counter attendant in “Lucy Visits The White House” (TLS S1;E23) in 1963, while also playing Fred Flintstone on ABC. He later appeared on an episode of Desi Arnaz’s “Mothers-in-Law”.
Bea Benadaret (Betty Rubble) was one of Lucille Ball’s favorite performers. She played Iris Atterbury on “My Favorite Husband” and was Ball’s first choice to play Ethel Mertz. Instead, she played Miss Lewis in “Lucy Plays Cupid” (ILL S1;E15).
Mel Blanc (Barney Rubble) was a master of voices best known for Bugs Bunny. He also worked extensively with Jack Benny, once with Lucille Ball. He did two films with Lucille Ball: The Fuller Brush Girl (1950) and G.I. Journal (1944). In 1969, Blanc did some ADR (dialogue replacement) work on “Here’s Lucy.”
Hal Smith (Various Voices) is probably best known as Otis the Drunk on “The Andy Griffith Show”. He appeared with Lucille Ball in the 1963 film Critic’s Choice and did three episodes of “The Lucy Show” and one of “Here’s Lucy.”
Howard Morris (Various Voices) played Howard Coe in “Lucy and the Golden Greek” (TLS S4;E2) in 1965.
Allan Melvin (Various Voices) is best remembered as Sam the Butcher on “The Brady Bunch” and Barney Hefner on “All in the Family.” In 1956, as Corporal Henshaw on “Sergeant Bilko,” he did was seen with Ball in “Bilko’s Ape Man.” Melvin and Ball also appeared together on the 8th Anniversary of “The Ed Sullivan Show” In 1954.
Harvey Korman (The Great Gazzoo / Various Voices) is best remembered for his work with Carol Burnett on “The Carol Burnett Show”, several times with Lucille Ball. He also appeared on “The Lucy Show” three times.
Janet Waldo (Mrs. Slaghoople / Hedda Rocker / Various Voices) is best remembered for voicing Judy Jetson on another Hanna-Barbera cartoon series, “The Jetsons” (1962-87). She played Peggy “Keep Jiggling” Dawson on “I Love Lucy” and Lucy Carmichael’s sister Marge on “The Lucy Show.”
Frank Nelson (Rockbind / Rocky Stone / Various Clerks) did two recurring characters on “I Love Lucy” - Freddie Fiillmore and Ralph Ramsey, in addition to other characters. His distinctive voice was heard on “My Favorite Husband” and he made one appearance, as the harried train conductor, on “The Lucy Show.”
June Foray (Granny / Nurses) was one of the most famous voice artists in Hollywood, most famous for Rocket J. Squirrel. Coincidentally, Warner Brothers recruited Foray to replace Bea Benadaret as Granny in their cartoons. On “I Love Lucy” she provided the bark of Fred the dog.
Paula Winslowe (Mrs. Slate / Various Voices) played Mrs. Martha Conklin on “Our Miss Brooks” opposite Gale Gordon. On “I Love Lucy” she was one of the passengers on the S.S. Constitution in “Second Honeymoon” (ILL S5;E14) and a patient (in wheelchair, above) in “Lucy Plays Florence Nightingale” (TLS S2;E14). She was the voice of Bambi’s mother in the 1942 Disney film Bambi.
Verna Felton (Pearl Slaghoople) received two Emmy nominations for her role in the Desilu series “December Bride,” playing Hilda Crocker from 1955 to 1959. She did two episodes of “I Love Lucy,” including playing Lucy’s stern maid, Mrs. Porter. Felton voiced many characters for Disney.
Howard McNear (Doctor) played Mr. Crawford, Little Ricky’s music teacher on “I Love Lucy.” McNear went on to play Floyd the Barber on “The Andy Griffith Show” from 1961 to 1967, filmed on the Desilu backlot. He was also seen in Lucy and Desi’s 1953 film The Long, Long Trailer.
Herb Vigran (Cop) was one of the busiest character actors in Hollywood. He played Jule, Ricky Ricardo’s music agent on two episodes of “I Love Lucy” in addition to playing movie publicist Hal Sparks in “Lucy is Envious” (ILL S3;23). He was seen in the Lucy-Desi film The Long, Long Trailer and six episodes of “The Lucy Show” - all as doctors!
Ginny Tyler (Daisy) voiced Clementine the sheep in “Lucy Buys a Sheep” (TLS S1;E5) and the bird voices in “Lucy Gets the Bird” (TLS S3;E12) and one episode of “Here’s Lucy.” She did the voice of the sheep in Disney’s 1964 hit Mary Poppins. Although she died in 2012, her voice can still be heard in the chorus of birds outside The Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.
Willard Waterman (Gus Gravel) was a versatile voice actor who appeared on hundreds of radio shows in the 1930s and 40s. He is probably best remembered for playing “The Great Gildersleeve” on both radio and TV. He was seen on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy and The Plumber” (above) and “Lucy the Rain Goddess” (S4;E15).
Jerry Hausner (Clyde) was best remembered for playing Jerry, Ricky’s agent on “I Love Lucy” (including the pilot). He also did one appearance on “The Lucy Show.”
Sam Edwards (Agent) played the star-struck bellboy in “Lucy Meets the Queen” (ILL S5;E15). He was also the voice of the adult Thumper in Bambi (1942).
Sandra Gould (Various Voices) was best remembered as Gladys Kravitz on “Bewitched”. She made two appearances on “I Love Lucy” and one (above) on “The Lucy Show.”
Ann-Margret (Ann Margrock) was one of several celebrity guest stars to be honored with character on “The Flintstones”. She was also a guest star (as herself) on “Here’s Lucy” in 1970 and had appeared on Ann-Margret’s 1969 special.
Elizabeth Taylor (Pearl Slaghoople in The Flintstones live action film, 1994) was one of Hollywood’s most glamorous and popular stars when she guest starred with husband Richard Burton on “Here’s Lucy” in 1970. It is odd, then, that she was cast as Pearl Slaghoople, a character that was previously considered frumpy.
Paul Winchell (Umpire / Thief / Reporter in "Wind Up Wilma” - 1981) was best known as a ventriloquist, but he was also an accomplished character actor who appeared in two episodes of “The Lucy Show” and two of “Here’s Lucy.”
Arte Johnson (”Flintstone Kids” - 1989) was best known as a cast member on “Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In”. He also did an episode of “Here’s Lucy” as an eccentric bird watcher.
George O’Hanlon (”Flintstone Kids” - 1989) was best remembered as the voice of George Jetson on “The Jetsons,” another hit Hanna-Barbera cartoon. On “I Love Lucy” he was one of two actors to play Charlie Appleby.
"I Love Lucy” and “The Flintstones”
First, Lucille Ball bears more than a passing physical resemblance to Wilma Flintstone. In “The Flintstones” it is clear that Fred is the leading character and most stories revolve around Fred and Barney, rather than Lucy and Ethel. The tried and true formula of a leading couple and the best friends / neighbors as the secondary characters is used in “I Love Lucy”, “The Honeymooners” and “The Flintstones”.
Here are a few more tangible connections:
The animated Lucy and Desi that opened pre-syndication airings of “I Love Lucy” were created by the Hanna-Barbera unit at MGM.
And both shows were sponsored by cigarette companies; “I Love Lucy” by Philip Morris and “The Flintstones” by Winston.
Wilma and Betty trying to sneak into the Water Buffalo convention in "Ladies Night at the Lodge" (1964) while disguised as men was very close to Lucy and Ethel disguising themselves as male reporters to infiltrate Ricky’s daddy shower in “Ricky Has Labor Pains” (1953).
The plot of “Operation Switchover” (1964) recycles the premise and many of the same plot elements of “Job Switching” (1952) especially with the domestic disasters on Ricky and Fred's end: scorched clothes while ironing, a fallen cake, and overflowing rice on the stove.
Like Lucy Ricardo, Wilma Flintstone’s pregnancy was incorporated into the storyline. It was originally thought that like Lucy, Wilma would have a boy, but merchandisers pointed out that there were more opportunities for products for girls, so Pebbles was born. Like Lucille Ball, Jean Vander Pyl (who voiced Wilma) was pregnant at the time of recording and gave birth to her son on the day "The Blessed Event" originally aired on February 22, 1963.
Fred and Barney undertake a rehearsal for the big moment, including Betty rehearsing telephoning the doctor, just like Ricky and the Mertz’s do for Lucy when ‘the time has come’.
Wilma seems to get cravings for unusual foods including hot fudge and sardines that Fred dutifully supplies, just like Ricky did for Lucy.
In the father’s waiting room, a man worries his wife might deliver more than one baby, just like Mr. Stanley (Charles Lane) on “I Love Lucy.”
In “Operation Switchover” a character named Hedda Rocker from Good Cavekeeping Magazine is obviously inspired by Hedda Hopper, the famous gossip columnist who appeared on two episodes of “I Love Lucy” as herself.
Arthur Murray, who’s innovate dance instruction method and dance studios became iconic, is parodied on “The Flintstones” as Arthur Quarry. In a 1965 episode, he was named Arthury Murrayrock.
In “Lucy Meets the Mustache” (LDCH S3;E3) Lucy wants to open a sealed letter so she tries a inserting a knitting needle under the flap, a method she says she saw in an Alfred Hitchcock movie. The scene is underscored with “Funeral March of a Marionette” by Charles Gounod, which served as the theme tune of “Alfred Hitchcock Presents”. On “The Flintstones” he is parodied as Alvin Brickrock.
Hollyrock star Rock Quarry is a tribute to Rock Hudson, but talks like Gary Cooper. Hudson guest-starred on an episode of “I Love Lucy” set in Palm Springs. Previously, Lucy dressed as Gary Cooper (complete with his trademark ‘yup’) to fool near-sighted Caroline Appleby.
An episode titled “The Soft Touchables” is modeled after Desilu’s hit gangster series “The Untouchables.” “The Lucy Show” parodied their own show in an episode titled “Lucy The Gun Moll” (TLS S4;E25) in 1966 starring “The Untouchables Cast” but using different character names.
Wilma and Betty’s favorite television show “Peek-A-Boo Camera” catches Fred and Barney acting silly in a 1963 episode that is clearly modeled after TV’s “Candid Camera” created by Allen Funt. In 1971, “Lucy and the Candid Camera” (HL S4;E14) also featured Funt in hidden camera shot plot. Lucy Carmichael also get involved in a hidden camera television show in “Lucy and the Beauty Doctor” (TLS S3;E24). In that show, the program was called “The Boiling Point.”
The hit Broadway and movie musical movie My Fair Lady inspired many satires (some in name only) including “My Fair Freddy” (1966) and “My Fair Lucy” (TLS S3;E20) in 1965!
In “Fred Flintstone Woos Again” (1961) Wilma convinces Fred to renew their wedding vows after realizing the official who originally married them wasn’t fully licensed! On “I Love Lucy” Lucy realized that their wedding was also invalid when she found an error on their license. They go to the spot they first wed to renew their vows, just like “The Flintstones”.
In “Dial ‘S’ for Suspicion” (1962) Wilma's devotion to a murder mystery novel causes Fred to wonder if Wilma is trying to away with him. In “Lucy Thinks Ricky Is Trying To Do Away With Her” (ILL S1;E4) Lucy's devotion to a murder mystery novel causes her to wonder if Ricky is trying to do away with her!
When Wilma can’t keep up with the housework, she hires a maid in “Wilma the Maid” (1963). The same situation happened in the Ricardo home in “Lucy Hires a Maid” (ILL S2;E23). While the Flintstone’s maid is an earthy Italian woman named Rockabrigida, the Ricardo’s maid is a humorless woman named Mrs. Porter. Coincidentally, Mrs. Porter was played by Verna Felton, who voices Pearl Slaghoople on “The Flintstones”.
When superhero “Superstone” is hired for a birthday party but can’t make it - Fred takes his place. On “I Love Lucy” when Superman is promised for Little Ricky’s party, but can’t make it, Lucy takes his place - nearly!
In “How To Pick A Fight With Your Wife” (1966) spats between spouses escalate to such a degree that the couples split: Fred and Barney are thrown together as roommates, while Wilma and Betty are bunking together at the other house. In “Vacation from Marriage” (ILL S2;E6) much the same thing occurs between the Ricardos and the Mertzes!
The real comparison with Lucy and Desi is something Joe Barbera could have only hoped for in 1960 — enduring popularity. Lucy is still justifiably loved by hoards of fans and “I Love Lucy” is on the air somewhere. “The Flintstones” remains a part of the popular culture, 60 years after the show’s debut.
#The flintstones#I Love Lucy#Lucille Ball#Jean Vanderpyl#Bea Benadaret#Lucy#Fred Flintstone#Mel Blanc#Hanna-Barbera#Alan Reed#Ann-Margret#Elizabeth Taylor#The Honeymooners#Hedda Hopper#frank nelson#Janet Waldo#Verna Felton#Willard Waterman#paul winchell
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Survey #354
“swimming through the void, we hear the word / we lose ourselves, but we find it all”
The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. My hair is naturally pretty oily, and conditioner just adds oil to it.
Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Dark. I never liked light-hued jeans.
When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I almost always just listen.
Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yes.
Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? My first "real" boyfriend. I always do to varying degrees.
How many cars are parked at your house right now? Just one.
Do you have any Italian ancestry? No.
Do you prefer water to be ice cold or at room temperature? The colder, the absolute better. I can barely stomach drinking water that isn't cold, like literally.
Has anyone ever told you you’re a control freak? No.
Do you know anyone who has gone missing? If so, were they ever found? I don't think so, anyway.
What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? A certain hot sauce on the wings I used to get at Buffalo Wild Wings. It was close to the top of their little heat rating thing. It made me feel awful, and yet I enjoyed it still?? I think it was an adrenaline thing. I only get medium sauce now; I'm more interested in enjoying my food than feeling like I'm eating fire.
Do you need to talk to someone? I'm ready for my therapy appointment honestly, but it's not 'til the start of June. Mom and I both don't want to go through the process of finding a new one, so I've chosen to just suck it up and wait.
Is something confusing you at the moment? I'm always confused with myself and my feelings.
When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Real deep, I'm sure that would've been during PHP.
Who did you last see on webcam? My former group therapist. I miss him a lot and really wish he could treat me outside of the program, but he doesn't do that. :/
What’s your best friend’s pet’s name(s)? Doris, Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, Jane Marie, Buster, Beesly, Winter, and I believe only one of the fish is named: Raisha.
Have you ever taken a picture while laying in the grass? No.
Who’s your favorite Disney character? Dory, probably.
Have you ever deliberately tried to get someone drunk? What the fuck, no.
When was the last time you used a pay phone and who were you calling? I've never used one.
Do you like being kissed on the neck? Whoa now buddy, we better be kind of serious by then for you to do that because it doesn't end "well" lmao.
Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later? I almost deleted this question because I didn't want to answer it, but I try to leave more unique ones in, so... whatever. I haven't. But I would for "somebody."
What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a good bra? Ugh, my relationship with bras is a hellish one because NONE FUCKING FIT ME CORRECTLY. Mom's tried so, so many places, so many different stores online and in-person, and even if the bra fits in the front, it won't go around my back comfortably. I guess my body is shaped weird, I don't fucking know, because I have literally ZERO bras that don't aggravate me. At some point, I'm going to some woman Mom knows who can size me properly and therefore buy some that don't piss me off. All that to say I'd actually pay more than the usual, but not a ridiculous price.
Do you have any of your teachers’ personal cell phone numbers saved in your contacts list? My old Physical Science teacher, who is actually now a very close family friend and our landlord, is in my phone.
Do you ever stalk peoples’ personal blogs, even if you don’t know them very well? No.
What’s one thing about today’s generation that you just can’t stand? How ungrateful they can be.
Be honest: how do you feel about abortion? I am pro-choice.
Is there anyone you currently want to reach out to? There's a lot of people, actually. Old friends I miss.
What is your favorite piece of art you own? It... sounds cocky, but it's probably the drawing I did in high school of Pyramid Head and the Halo of the Sun intertwined. I worked my fucking ass off and I'm extremely proud of it.
What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? Hm. Probably just something minor, like bumping into Mom or something when passing her.
My favorite color is ______? Pink, specifically pastel pink.
I wish I had _____? A job.
What did you buy today? Nothing.
What has challenged your morals? Life, my dude. Live and learn.
What made you pick up the last book you started reading? It's the sequel to the last book I read.
What about your life concerns you the most? Concerns me, my physical health, especially just how weak my legs are. I'm terrified of them continuing to deteriorate.
What do you find particularly offensive? Would you say you’re easy or difficult to offend? I cannot fucking stand the misuse of the word "retarded." Like just keep your damn mouth sewn shut if you have the audacity to say things like "hurr hurr this driver is retarded." ANY mental illness/condition is NOT to be mocked. Onto the next question, I'd say I'm more towards difficult to offend. It really depends on the topic.
What was the last series you finished watching? Do you have any plans to begin another? I re-watched Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. We're working on Avatar: The Last Airbender too, but I won't resume watching it again until we can do it together.
What is one way in which you are different from a year ago? What is one way in which you are still the same? Well, I weigh a lot more. .-. I gained back almost all the weight I shed since quarantine started, and I'm forever fucking furious about it. I'm the same in most other ways.
If you could learn about anything without the stress of grades or cost, what kind of classes would you take? Uhhhhh meerkat behavior? Idk.
Name a song you’ve listened to today? I've got Halocene, Lauren Babic, and Violet Orlandi's cover of "Aerials" by System of a Down on loop right now. It's fucking gorgeous and so mesmerizing.
When you were younger, did you have a swing set or a playhouse in your backyard? We had a small playhouse with swings and a slide.
Is your mall nice? GOD no. You better accept the possibility of getting shot before you walk in there. There's nothing that cool at all there.
Do you have a Sonic near you? If so, what’s your favorite drink from there? Yeah. I love the strawberry slushy, and the Reese's Blast thing if KILLER.
Will you be voting in the presidential elections next time around? Yes.
How do you feel about chocolate-covered strawberries? GOOD. STUFF.
Did you ever stop having feelings for someone and then started having those feelings again for them? I think so.
Do you hate the last guy you had a thing with? No, he's my closest guy friend.
To whom did you last give the finger? Probably some idiot that ran a red light. I'm sure it happened in the car, whenever it happened
What was the last musical instrument played in your presence? I've got no clue.
Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? No, I hate the texture difference. And just sprinkles in general.
Honestly, have you ever crashed a party before? No.
Do you know how to do the moon walk? No.
Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? Yeah, but I beg to differ.
Onion rings or french fries? French fries. I'm not a big fan of the other.
Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? Nope.
Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? When I'm excited, yes, it happens sometimes.
Who is the best cook that you know? Uhhhhh idk.
Which meal throughout the day do you skip the most? I don't really skip meals.
What’s the largest amount that you can juggle at one time? I can’t juggle at all.
What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? Swings. I'd dash to those at recess to try to actually get one.
Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? All I know is six pounds, no clue on the ounces.
Which aspect of your daily routine takes the most time? What do you do? Sitting my ass at the computer, really... I don't exactly do much.
Do you enjoy buying gifts for others, or could you do without this? It feels sucky of me considering whenever I do get someone a gift, it's because Mom is letting me use her money with me being without an income, BUT I still do LOVE the process of thinking of something meaningful for those important to me and hopefully seeing them love whatever I got them. I cannot wait until I actually can do that regularly.
What is one thing you are expected to do, if anything? Take care of my pets.
How do you tend to view driving? Monotonous or entertaining? I hate driving because you're in a speeding box of death, man. I do really want to start working towards my license though; I've long since reached the "enough is enough" point. But first I need new glasses so I can actually see five feet in front of me.
Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Yeah!
Is acting something you enjoy? No. I'm too awkward about it.
When do you feel most accomplished? When I finish a big art pierce.
Do you think Manwich is amazing or completely gross? I like 'em. Just messy, which I'm not a fan of.
How many best friends do you have? One.
Are you a smoker, drinker, pothead or none of the above? None of the above.
If you have your ears pierced, when did you get them pierced? I don't remember exactly, but I was a kid.
Do you own any exercise machines? No. I wish.
On Facebook, do you have people listed as your siblings who aren’t really your siblings? Nah, but I used to do that.
Have you ever drawn or painted a self-portrait? Painted, but only because it was a school assignment.
Who was your last voicemail from? I don't get voicemails because mine isn't even set up.
Have you ever been falsely accused of something serious? No.
Did you ever set up a lemonade stand when you were a kid? No.
When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language? Not since I was taking a test in high school for my German course. My teacher was a Germany native, so she was a total pro and fun to learn from.
Have you ever received an anonymous gift? No.
Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. That's always sounded miserable to me.
When were you the saddest in your life? 2016 was fucking miserable.
Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? I don't know if it's abusive, but it's toxic and dysfunctional as HELL. I don't know WHY she keeps going back to him, I feel awful for the woman. I'm definitely not, 'cuz I wouldn't tolerate that shit for half a second.
If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? They've both moved out by now.
Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? Yes, as a safety protocol with mental illness stuff.
Do you like fried rice? Yes.
What was the last thing you drank? Would you believe me if I told you I have water right now?
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I want more mjs in spiderverse stuff and i want them all to have very different but similar nicknames. Like, gwen’s mary jane is em jay. noir’s should nj, and naturally, porker has mjwb (mary jane water buffalo)
#spiderverse#peter b's mj is the mvpj because... shes the mvp#into the spiderverse#adventures of angel
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2019 celebrity deaths
Peter Fonda
Date: Aug. 16
Cause of death: Respiratory failure caused by lung cancer
Age: 79
Son of Henry Fonda, brother of Jane Fonda and father of actress Bridget Fonda, Peter was part of a Hollywood dynasty. He was best known for his starring role as Wyatt in 1969's Easy Rider, which he also co-wrote and produced, earning him his first Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay. He was also nominated for Best Actor for starring in 1997's Ulee's Gold.
Peter Tork
Date: Feb. 21
Cause of death: Adenoid cystic carcinoma
Age: 77
Tork was a folk musician in New York City’s Greenwich Village when Stephen Stills (of Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young fame) tipped him off to a TV and pop star deal, and the rest is Monkees history. Despite his likable doofus persona on the band’s sitcom — which resurfaced as an MTV and “Nick at Nite” favorite in the ‘80s — Tork was a gifted multi-instrumentalist who played the earwormy piano intro on their hit “Daydream Believer.” Post-Monkees, he pursued a solo career (collaborating with friend George Harrison), made acting cameos and even dabbled in being a high school teacher. He was preceded in death by fellow Monkee Davy Jones, who died in 2012.
Doris Day
Date: May 13
Cause of death: Pneumonia
Age: 97
The legendary actress and singer first found fame as pop singer ("Sentimental Journey” went straight to No. 1 in 1945) but exploded to stardom on the big screen in films including Pillow Talk, Calamity Jane and The Man Who Knew Too Much. The one-time Academy Award nominee was paired with all of Hollywood hottest leading men, including Clark Gable (Teacher's Pet), Cary Grant (That Touch of Mink) and — most notably — Rock Hudson (Pillow Talk, Lover Come Back and Send Me No Flowers). Her freckle-faced, wholesome look led to her being crowned the top box office star of the early 1960s. Day’s attempts at marriage were less unsuccessful with one of her four husbands embezzling her fortune and leaving her broke. She climbed out with her successful The Doris Day Show, which she appeared on for five years until 1973. At the end of its run, she largely retired to focus on her animal activism, establishing the Doris Day Animal Foundation, briefly returning to host the talk show Doris Day's Best Friends in the ‘80s.
Tim Conway
Date: May 14
Cause of death: Water on the brain
Age: 85
The comedic actor brought the laughs on The Carol Burnett Show, for which he won four Primetime Emmys. His LOL characters on the sketch show included the Oldest Man, who was painfully slow — and hysterically funny. He went on to headline his own short-lived variety series, and made several movies with fellow comedian Don Knotts. Conway later won Emmys for guest appearances on the sitcom Coach and 30 Rock. He also voiced the character Barnacle Boy on SpongeBob SquarePants. Conway was diagnosed with normal pressure hydrocephalus in 2018 and had brain surgery, but died from complications of that condition.
Valerie Harper
Date: Aug. 30
Cause of death: Leptomeningeal carcinomatosis
Age: 80
The Broadway dancer turned TV star was best known for playing Rhoda, sidekick extraordinaire, on The Mary Tyler Moore Show before getting her own spinoff, cementing her as a ‘70s icon. She went on to starred in ‘80s sitcom Valerie, before a salary dispute led to her firing (which she later sued over and won). Harper, who beat lung cancer in 2009, went public with her fatal cancer diagnosis, leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, a condition in which cancer cells spread into the fluid-filled membrane surrounding the brain, in 2013 after being told she had three months to live. The walking miracle went on to live six more years — and kept working, from a Dancing With the Stars run to a sweet Mary Tyler Moore Show reunion on Hot in Cleveland.
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Peter Porker’s love interest
Okay, so Mary Jane is a water buffalo in his universe...
But then she’s a crane?
Explain, marvel!
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For a Spider-Ham Reboot
Have Aunt May stay a mad scientist, but unaware her adopted unintentional creation is Spider-Ham. Peter ocassionally borrows her inventions without asking out of desperation.
Eventually of course she will find out and be basically attempt to be his Q.
Make Mary Jane Water-Buffalo an absolute unit. Like totally ripped.
Make Black Panda (their version of Black Panther) a photo-negative panda.
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I don't know if you've seen Into the Spider-verse yet but here's a fun question if you haven't, since Spider-Ham is back in the spotlight which animal version of MJ do you like more, Mary Jane Water-Buffalo or Mary Crane Watson? ;D
not familiar with either sorry
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Spider-Ham is married to a Water Buffalo in his universe.
Lit, I’m down. Is the buffalo named Mary Jane Water?
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▌real name: mary jane watson
▌single or taken: single ( verse dependent )
▌abilities or powers: mj is nothing more than a human.
▌eye colour: light brown
▌hair colour: red
▌family members: phillip watson ( father / alive ), madeline watson ( mother / deceased ). gayle watson ( older sister / alive ), anna-may watson ( aunt / alive )
▌pets: small golden pomeranian named tiger
▌something they don’t like: being talked down to
▌hobbies/activities: singing, acting, playing the guitar, shopping
▌ever hurt anyone before: maybe
▌ever killed anyone before: no
▌animal that represents them: water buffalo ( not really, but in the spider-ham comics, her animal was a water buffalo, lol )
▌worst habits: nail biting, and leaving lip stick marks on the rim of glasses
▌sexual orientation: bisexual
▌thoughts on marriage/kids: hasn’t really thought about it. but, marriage doesn’t sound half bad to her.
▌fears: being a nobody, being a failure, being stuck in the same place forever
▌style preferences: mj pretty much wears anything any everything. though, she is more of a skirt girl when it comes down to it, and loves pairing said skirt with a cute top and a killer pair of heels. she also likes wearing thigh-high boots over a pair of leggings and leather / jean jackets.
▌someone they love: peter, but she’d never admit it.
▌approach to friendships: mj is very outgoing, and she loves making new friends. she can be a little bossy at times but, she doesn’t mean anything by it, and quickly backs off when she realizes what she’s doing. she takes care of her friends, and always helps them when they are in dire need.
▌thoughts on pie: she prefers ice cream sandwiches and oreo shakes.
▌favourite drink: cosmopolitan but, if she’s not actually drinking, she likes diet coke.
▌favourite place to spend time at: aunt anna’s home.
▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: ocean
▌their type: she likes the boy next door/ girl next door type. someone that is sweet, and someone see’s her as something more than just a pretty face. she also has a thing for smart guys/girls.
▌camping or indoors: indoors
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Caught in my web: chapter 5
Authors note: Sorry for taking literally forever to update. Seniors years coming to a close for me, and prom planning has begun. I also just needed to step back and let my creative juices replenish. All those essays really drained me D: I can just reply to comments on A03, but fanfic.net is different, so I’ll just reply to reviews at the end of the chapters from now on.
The morning sunlight shone dimly through the blinds in Peter Parkers bedroom. Laying snuggly in the middle of Peter’s bed, was Sam Alexander. Peter had unknowingly fallen asleep beside his crush last night, luckily he was the first to wake up, and he did so with the grace of a water buffalo.
Somehow that night the two boys had ended up spooning, and when Peter had realized their positions, he quickly extricated the younger teen from his arms, much to his disdain.
Although Peter had literally dreamed of waking up next to his crush like this, he really didn’t want to have to explain why he had an erection to his best friend.
Yeah he felt bad about it, but what young boy wouldn’t get aroused from having his crush sleeping soundly in his arms. At least, that’s what he told himself.
Sam woke up about 30 minutes after Peter did. The younger boy stretched out with a yawn, trying his best to force his eyes open. Sam turned over to snuggle up with his pillow, but only managed to roll off the bed with a thud.
He groaned as he slowly peeled himself off the floor. He stood up in a zombie like fashion, running his hand through his messy hair as he began to realize where he was.
‘Peter’s room?’ he thought to himself as he looked around the older boy’s bedroom.
On the walls, were various band posters, and a periodic table. The room wasn’t messy, but it wasn’t the most organized either. A cheeky grin spread across Sam’s face as he realized that this was his first time being alone in Peters room. This was the perfect time to snoop.
Sam crept his way over to Peter’s desk, but stopped himself before he could open any drawers. Something about trifling through his best friend’s things made him feel guilty. He frowned, taking his hand off the drawer.
He let out a grumpy sigh, ‘Stupid web head’ he thought as he stormed out of the bedroom.
Sam had a light scowl as he was walking down the stairs, wondering where the heck Peter was.
He sighed. ‘Guess I’ll make us some breakfast,’ he thought as he groggily made his way down the stair case and through the living room.
Sam’s fuzzy socks were warm on the carpet, until he stepped onto the now wet linoleum of Peters kitchen floor.
Looking down, he saw that his sock was now soaked in a thick yellow substance.
Sam’s face recoiled in disgust at the yellow goop that he had just stepped in. On one leg, he hopped his way to one of dining room chairs.
With the whole kitchen in his view, he could piece together that what he had stepped in must have been egg yolk.
The kitchen was a mess. Mixing bowls were scattered around the counters, a frypan was webbed to the ceiling, and on the table, was what Sam assumed to be a charred ham.
” So this is what happens when Webs tries to make breakfast?” he chuckled.
With a grin, he began to clean up the mess that Peter had left behind.
Sporting only one sock, Sam was able to clean up the mess that Peter had made, he even managed to do some of the dishes from the day before; Peter wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t good at doing household chores.
After he had finished cleaning the kitchen, he hopped his way towards the stairs so that he could steal a sock from Peter.
Right as he had stepped foot on the stairs, the front door swung open, revealing a very disheveled looking Peter Parker. In the doorway, the older boy stood clutching onto two to-go bags from I-hop.
Peter’s eyes widened when he saw Sam, “I bought breakfast!” he blurted out as he held up the I-hop bags with a grin.
The two boys started laughing as they saw each other, “I’m gonna go borrow a sock, so you go ahead and set some plates for us okay?”
Peter let out a nervous laugh as he remembered the mess he had left in the kitchen, “Sounds good!”.
Peter waited until Sam was out of sight before he bolted towards to the kitchen, hoping that he could at least hide the mess he had made.
When he was in the kitchen, Peter stood in awe. The counters were spotless, and the floors had even been mopped. A blush tinged Peters face when he imagined his typically abrasive crush cleaning like a loving housewife.
With a goofy smile, he pulled out two plates and some cutlery for them to eat with. Carefully, he took the styrofoam to-go boxes out of their bags, and began transferring the pancakes to the plates.
Peter had everything neatly arranged, he even got out a couple of glasses for orange juice. Normally, he would have just scarfed the food down from inside their containers, but today he wanted to make a good impression on Sam.
With his hands to his hips, Peter let out a triumphant huff. ‘Things around the house sure are great when Sam is around’ he thought.
“Hey, Peter?” Asked the younger boy from the doorway.
Peter whipped around to face the other boy, “Yeah?”
“Wasn’t I supposed to be your maid?” Sam questioned as he sat at the table Peter had prepared. “Why didn’t you wake me up to cook breakfast?”
Peter smiled bashfully at the ground as he sat down in the chair across from Sam. “You looked really peaceful, so I thought I’d try to make some for you instead.”
Sam smiled, “You didn’t have to do that, webs” he said softly.
Peter looked up and made eye contact with the other boy, then grinned. “I know.”
Unsure of how to deal with the embarrassing tint spreading across his face, Sam shoveled the last remaining chunk of pancake into his mouth, syrup dribbling down his chin.
“um gnna gt drssd” (I’m gonna get dressed) he mumbled before getting up and making a bee-line towards the bathroom.
Peter just stared with a puzzled look on his face, shrugged, then proceeded to eat the rest of his pancakes.
After breakfast, Peter went to his room to play a video game while Sam took a shower.
He had made it to the final boss battle when Sam walked into the room.
“Hey, Peter, do you know where my backpack is?”
“Uhh, Yeah, I think I put it in my clo- “Peter started, his voice trailing off as his jaw dropped.
Standing there with only a towel draped around his waist, was Sam. Warm beads of water stuck to Sam’s tan skin like dew, and it took everything Peter had not to stare.
Checking back into reality, Peter cleared his throat “I-it’s in my closet”
“Okay, thanks” Sam said, turning to the other boys closet to grab his bag, then smirking as he gave an extra amount of sway in his hips while exiting the room.
As he was turned around, Peter took the chance to ogle at Sam’s figure. His eyes traversed the boy’s body all the way from his toned calves, to the way his towel caressed his firm behind, and to the small drops of water that pooled serenely in the curve of his spine.
His stare was broken by the sound of his character dying in the game. He smiled goofily back at the television screen.
“Do I really have to wear this? It’s so itchy,” whined Ava, adjusting the short blonde wig that MJ had forced onto her head.
“Yep, now put on the glasses, and stop being so difficult!” Scolded Mary Jane, who was wearing a black turtle neck sweater with a long black wig.
“Why are we even doing this? We could be studying for the calculus test on Monday.”
Mary Jane pouted her lips and furrowed her brow. Does she really need a reason to spy on her adorkable best friends who happen the be in love with each other?
“Because, as much as I love them. Sam and Peter are both oblivious idiots who won’t tell each other their feeling unless we give them a little push.”
“I’m pretty sure you just want to be nosey, buuut so do I. So, are we just going to watch from a distance?”
“Pretty much.”
“Oh” Ava said, scratching her head nervously.
“Stop messing with the wig!”
Ava mumbled something unintelligible to Mary Jane as they both left early for the movie theatre. She was in for a long night.
Peter and Sam stepped out of their Uber when they reached the movie theatre. The movie had already been out for a while, so there weren’t many people in line.
While they were on their way into the building, Peter had been trying to call MJ, but she wasn’t answering for some reason. He dialed her number again and waited patiently as it rang.
The crisp December air made Sam hug himself as he let out a muffled shiver against his hands; He would never get used to anything other than the warm Arizona weather he was so fond of.
Without warning, Peter pulled Sam into him with his free arm, his gaze turning away from him to hide the flush spreading across his nose bridge.
Sam’s eyes widened in surprise, almost automatically, his head had found itself nuzzled into the crook of the older boy’s shoulder.
Each passing second felt like an eternity, and the thumping in his chest was starting to freak him out.
He wondered ‘Do I….no.” he can’t have these feeling. This friendship means too much to him. So he didn’t understand why he couldn’t break out of Peters hold?
In the background of his thoughts, he could hear Peter talking.
“What do you mean you’re sick? You were just fine yesterday?” The older boy asked in a concerned voice that was peppered with irritation.
Inside of the theatre MJ grinned cheekily at Ava, faked a coughing fit, then continued into the phone, “Sorry, Pete, I really can’t make it. But you and Sam shouldn’t let that stop you from seeing it!”
Peter looked over at Sam, who was deep in thought, and looking absolutely adorable against Peters chest. He smiled, “Yeah, you’re right. Get well soon, okay?”
MJ faked a cough and said her goodbye to Peter, then laughed manically inside her head as she pressed the red phone icon, ending her connection to Peter.
Ava couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous her friends were, but secretly, she was glad that Sam and Peter were getting closer.
Peter turned off his phone, then looked to Sam, who was now a deep shade of red. Peter’s stomach did a flip from seeing how cute Sam was. “Well you sure look comfortable.” he said, trying not to smirk.
Sam’s eye’s widened, then he pushed himself out of Peters arm, his blush unfading. He cleared his throat, “Yeah, well, let’s get inside” he said quickly, speed walking towards the door.
Peter felt a pang of guilt, he was kind of happy that MJ couldn’t come.
Peter had to speed walk to catch up to Sam who was waiting for him at the ticket stand. When he made it to the ticket stand he smiled at Sam then turned to the shaggy haired boy selling them.
“Can I have two tickets to Paranormal Activity 8?” The boy accepted Peters money, then counted his change. As he counted, Peter squinted his eyes; He’s seen this boy before.
“Hey, um, do you deliver pizza?”
Sam turned to give him a confused look, “Peter, this is a movie theatre.”
Peter’s ears took on a slightly red flush as he laughed, “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean, you delivered my pizza yesterday, remember?”
The shaggy haired boy handed Peter his change and tickets, then blinked slowly. “Oh yeah, you’re the dude with the weird name. Uhhh, Pooter, right?”
Peter’s face turned with a mix of confusion and annoyance “No, no, my name is Pet- “
“Come on, Pooter, we have to get snacks before the movie starts!” Sam exclaimed with a grin as he pulled Peter away while he was in the middle of correcting the shaggy haired boy.
There weren’t any other movie goers in line for snacks, and Peter was grateful that nobody could see the love struck look he got from Sam leading him by the hand.
“Can we have a large popcorn, a bag of gummy bears, and two large cokes please?” Sam asked the snack attendant gleefully.
“Sure thing, hon.” The woman replied, turning around to fetch their items.
Peter smirked, then turned to mess with Sam. “You know, you sure are comfortable with older men buying you things. Sam, is there something you want to tell me?” he said teasingly.
Sam rolled his eyes, then punched Peter in the arm, eliciting a laugh from the older boy.
“Your total is thirty-two dollars exactly,” Said the lady at the snack counter, smiling. Peter filtered through his wallet for the momney, then handed it to her.
While they gathered their things, the lady spoke again. “If you boys don’t mind me asking, how long have you been dating?” she said with a bright smile.
Both of their eyes widened, and Sam’s vision went to the side, while Peter rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
“Um, we’re not dating,” Sam said bashfully. In his mind, Peter added ‘yet’ to what Sam said.
“Oh, well, pardon me. I just thought…Oh, I am so sorry!” she exclaimed in a southern accent.
“Don’t worry about,” Peter said reassuringly, leading Sam away from the nosey women and towards the room that their movie was being shown in.
There was an awkward silence between the two while the made it into the room showing their movie. Both seemed like they wanted to break the silence, but were unsure of exactly what to say.
The room inside the theatre was pitch black, and the large screen offered no assistance to them. Peter almost instinctively grabbed hold of Sam’s hand and led him to two open seats in the middle of the theatre.
Sam was grateful that his flushed face was unnoticeable in the dimly lit room. “Want some popcorn?” Sam asked as they sat in their seats, breaking the silence between the two.
Peters looked over at Sam surprisingly, then smiled as he picked out a single popcorn and flicked it into his mouth, earning him a wide-eyed chuckle from Sam.
A blood curdling scream blared as the intro to the movie flickered across the screen, and the two boys were suddenly transfixed on the shocking opening scene.
Three rows behind the two boys sat MJ and Ava, both clad in their disguises. Ava seemed to be suppressing her laughter at the movie as she scratched her short blonde wig, and MJ was intensely eating her popcorn while watching Sam and Peter closely.
The movie didn’t appear to have a plot, and was mostly composed of jump scares and found footage scenes. Peter and Sam laughed at the jump scene of the cat ghost. Sam was eating the gummy bears he had ordered, and Peter watched him lovingly as he did.
‘Screw it’ Peter thought as he faked a yawn and stretched his arms around Sam. The younger boy stopped eating his gummy bears, the butterflies in his stomach were making it difficult to eat. Deciding to take in the moment, Sam leaned into Peters side.
Both boys were now grinning from ear to ear as they watched the movie. Peter wasn’t sure if it was just the movie, but he thought he heard a muffled squeal come from behind him.
Three rows back, Ava was struggling to cover the mouth of an ecstatic MJ. The red head couldn’t help herself from screaming “Finally!” against Ava’s palms.
The movie quickly came to an end, and the ending credits had started playing, but Sam and Peter stayed in their seats. Peter looked down at Sam and smiled, “We should get going,” he whispered, trying his best to avoid planting a kiss onto Sam’s head.
Sam pulled out his phone, “Let’s just stay here until the Uber comes.”
Peter grinned, “You know, I could just web us home. It would be faster.”
“Okay, let’s go behind the theatre so no one see’s you”
“Alright, I hope I can still lift you after all that popcorn you ate.” Peter teased, earning him a jab to the ribs from Sam.
Peter yawned with a stretch as he stood, then followed Sam to the staff exit at the back of the room.
The area behind the movie theatre was dimly lit, and the stench of the trash cans forced the two boys to pinch their noses closed.
“Hold on tight, okay?” The older boy said in a nasal tone.
“Okay,” replied Sam as he clutched on to his side tighter than necessary.
Peter shot a web at a nearby building, and they were off.
As they swung from building to building, Peter couldn’t help but relish the moment they were having. He hoped that he wasn’t misreading the signals, but it seemed like Sam was flirting back. ‘Better not push it’ Peter thought to himself.
After about eight minutes they had made it into Peter’s backyard.
“I left the back door unlocked so we can jus- “
“Peter.” Sam said in a determined voice.
“Yeah?” he asked, turning around so that he could face him.
With no hesitation, Sam wrapped his arms around Peter’s neck, stood on the tips of his toes, and kissed him.
Peter’s eyes widened at first, but they shut as he deepened the kiss, snaking his arms around Sam’s waist to pull him in closer. Their eyes were still closed as they pulled apart.
After a moment of silence between them, they both broke into laughter.
Peter sighed, then wrapped his arms back around Sam to pull him back in, “What was that for?” he asked breathily.
“You were taking too long,” Sam said with a smirk.
@BlueFH: Thank you!! Sorry for taking so long to update ;-;
@Wingedwrite101: Thank you so much :’D Sorry for taking so long to update! I have a better idea of where this story is going now, so hopefully I’ll start updating more frequently
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BYOV - LIBC & Sand City Tap Takeover 1/20/17
BYOV - LIBC & Sand City Tap Takeover 1/20/17 (TEN HOURS)
*SET ONE*
BadBadNotGood - Confessions Pt. II/Lavender/Chompy's Paradise
King Gizzard And The Lizard Wizard - I'm In Your Mind/I'm Not In Your Mind/Cellophane/
I'm In Your Mind Fuzz/Empty/Hot Water
Snake Oil - Seidel In The Salt Flats/Travels Light
Moog Machine - Jumping Jack Flash
Return To Forever - Sorceress
Space Needle - Where the Fucks My Wallet?
Notwist - Messier Objects 10-11
Wendy Carlos - William Tell Overture
Yes - Heart of the Sunrise
XTC - Making Plans For Nigel
Primus - Too Many Puppies
Parliament - Give Up the Funk
Mike Watt - Maggot Brain
Frank Zappa/Captain Beefheart - Willie the Pimp
DJ Shadow - Organ Donor (extended overhaul)
dälek - Spiritual Healing
Stevie Wonder - Superstition
Yo La Tengo - Nuclear War #2
Shriekback - Nemesis
Gang Of Four - I Love A Man In Uniform
Pink Floyd - One of These Days
Peter Gabriel - Games Without Frontiers
DEVO - Beautiful World
A Flock of Seagulls - I Ran
Lou Reed - Sweet Jane (live)
The Doors - The Wasp (Big Beat & Texas Radio)
The Wipers - Is This Real?
Mission of Burma - This Is Not a Photograph
Ned's Atomic Dustbin - Not Sleeping Around
Violent Femmes - Kiss Off*
The Monroes - What Do All the People Know?*
Poison - Talk Dirty To Me
The Vapors - Turning Japanese
Stetsasonic - A.F.R.I.C.A.
Public Image Ltd - The Body
INXS - Original Sin
Sisters of Mercy - This Corrosion
The Housemartins - Happy Hour
Talking Heads - This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)
Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians - Balloon Man
———————————————————————————
*SET TWO*
RJD2 - Ghosthunter
Genius/GZA - Duel of the Iron Mic
A Tribe Called Quest - We the People/Whateva Will Be
The Fugees - Killing Me Softly*
Glass Animals - Youth
Tom Tom Club - Sunshine and Ecstasy (sunshine + sensi mix)
Prince - Little Red Corvette
Thunderclap Newman - Something In the Air
The Upsetters - Curly Dub
Men Without Hats - Safety Dance
Weird Al Yankovic - Brady Bunch
Madness - One Step Beyond
The Time - Jungle Love
Luscious Jackson - Strongman
Buffalo Springfield - For What It's Worth
Beck - The New Pollution
The Bølshøi - Happy Boy
The Beatles - I Want To Tell You
The Breeders - When I Was a Painter
The Smithereens - Blood & Roses
The Jesus & Mary Chain - Head On
Social Distortion - When the Angels Sing
Jimmy Eat World - A Praise Chorus
The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy
Cursive - Driftwood
Kate Bush - The Hounds of Love
The Cure - Like Cockatoos
The Sugarcubes - Birthday
The English Beat - Tears of a Clown
Squeeze - Up the Junction
Supertramp - The Logical Song
Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Symphony of the Nymph
Dirty Projectors - Stillness Is the Man
T'Pau - Heart and Soul
San Cisco - Awkward
Siousxie & The Banshees - Cities In Dust
Chapterhouse - Pearl
Brian Jonestown Massacre - Lantern
David Bowie - Space Oddity
Modest Mouse - The Ocean Breathes Salty
Neil Young - Down By the River
Built To Spill - Carry the Zero
Bongwater - His Old Look
Yo La Tengo - Ohm
The Boo Radleys - Wish I Was Skinny
Al Green - Tired of Being Alone
Archie Bell & The Drells - Tighten Up Pt. 1
Rufus Thomas - Can Your Monkey Do the Dog?
Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man
Marvin Gaye - I Heard It Through the Grapevine
Major Lance - Crying in the Rain
The Drifters - There Goes My Baby
Sam Cooke - Chain Gang
Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of the Broken Hearted
Isaac Hayes - By the Time I Get to Phoenix
Chaka Khan - I Feel For You
Prince & The Revolution - Raspberry Beret
The Box Tops - I'm Your Puppet
Stevie Ray Vaughan - Voodoo Chile
Heart - Crazy On You
The Clash - Card Cheat
The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays
The Undertones - Get Over You
Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love?
Social Distortion - Story of My Life
Camper Van Beethoven - (I Was Born In A) Laundromat
The Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died
Frank Turner - I Am Disappeared
Bouncing Souls - The Something Special
Fred Schneider - Monster
Love & Rockets - Ball of Confusion
Flaming Lips - Evil Will Prevail
John Williams - Star Wars Main Title
Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
New Order - Weirdo
Mumford & Sons - There Will Be a Time*
Courtney Barnett - Lance Jr.
The Rave-Ups - She Says (Come Around)
Bangles - In Your Mind
R.E.M. - Life and How To Live It
The Mountain Goats - No Children
Dire Straits - Romeo & Juliet
Bob Dylan - Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues
Elliott Smith - Twilight
Emmitt Rhodes - Somebody Made For Me
Destroyer - No Cease Fires! (Crimes Against The State Of Our Love, Baby)
David Bowie - Starman
Yazoo - Nobody's Diary
Depeche Mode - Stripped (Highland Mix)
Bowery Electric - Beat
Tom Waits - The One That Got Away/Diamonds On My Windshield
Kurt Vile - Pretty Pimpin'
The Replacements - Here Comes A Regular
Flaming Lips - Five Stop Mother Superior Rain
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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - Who is Spider-Ham?
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Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham arrives in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Here's a look at the character's bizarre history.
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Gavin Jasper
Marvel
Dec 13, 2018
Spider-Man
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse stars not only beloved web-slinger Peter Parker, but various alternate-universe versions of the Spider-Man concept. Obviously, the protagonist is Miles Morales – originally Parker’s successor in the Ultimate Universe – but he’s joined by other wall-crawlers. All of them are widely different, such as a hard-boiled crime-fighter from the 1930s, a superhero alternative to Parker’s doomed girlfriend, a schoolgirl with an arachnid-based robot, and a cartoon pig.
Of Spider-Man’s heroic knockoffs, almost all of them come from the last decade. Spider-Man Noir first showed up in 2009, Miles in 2011, and both Spider-Gwen and Peni Parker in 2014. Spider-Ham, on the other hand, has been around for 35 years! Holy crap, has it really been that long?
The building blocks of the concept started out five years before that in the pages of What If? #8 (What If the World Knew that Daredevil was Blind?). In a backup story written and drawn by Scott Shaw, he showed a world where Webster Weaver is a mild-mannered spider nerd who is accidentally bitten by a radioactive human. He becomes the ‘Mazing Man-Spider and introduces a whole world of animal-based characters like Octo Doctorpuss, the Kingpig, and the Green Gobbler.
This world of anthromorphic animals never existed outside of that one backup story (though J. Jonah Jameson being a literal jackass would happen again in Earth X). Shaw would later get his chance to shine a few years later when he co-created Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew for DC Comics in 1982. I don’t know if Spider-Ham and his universe was created in response to Captain Carrot or because for some reason animal pun superheroes was the pinnacle of comedy back in the early 80s, but in 1983, Tom Defalco and Mark Armstrong put together a one-shot called Marvel Tails Starring Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham.
The story is a team-up between the titular pig-based Spider-Man and his best friend and partner Captain Americat. The two work together both as vigilantes and as newspaper employees with Peter Porker as the photographer and Steve Mouser as the reporter. Together, they get roped into solving a mystery of an arcade getting vandalized, which itself is like a Scooby-Doo plot.
Also, there’s this weird moment where they pass by people picketing the arcade.
Kind of timeless for something released in 1983, but since it’s supposed to be taking the piss out of people angry about video games, it hits me as off that, “NO RACIST GAMES” is something we’re supposed to disagree with. Maybe Defalco knew how solid Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out was going to be years in advance.
Another character introduced in this story is Bruce Bunny, a tech wiz who accidentally gets shoved into an arcade cabinet and is zapped into turning into a big, green rage monster called Hulk-Bunny. Listen, they can’t all be gems. A deadline is a deadline.
read more - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Almost Featured Doctor Strange
This “Larval Comics” world would get a reprisal in 1985 with a full-on Peter Porker, Spider-Ham ongoing series under the kid-friendly Star Comics banner. For the most part, the issues would be split up into two parts. Steve Skeates and Mark Armstrong (usually) would do a story about Spider-Ham, a lot of the time involving the greedy J. Jonah Jackal and a trio of newsboy sidekicks. Then Steve Mellor would do a backup story about a different animal hero like Thrr the Dog of Thunder, Awful Flight, the Fantastic Fur, Ant-Ant and so on. All with his very Seuss-like art style.
It was a silly and cartoony series, but didn’t have too much going for it other than the creators trying to come up with as many pun designs as possible. At times, they would just show a line-up of characters who may or may not get used down the line just for the sake of writing out the gags.
There’s even a panel that’s just Mary Jane Water Buffalo grooving out in front of a poster of a bird wearing a giant suit. Within that panel, she mentions that David Bird is the lead singer of the Squawking Heads and their big album is Stop Making Nests.
read more - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is the Best Superhero Movie of the Year
In the fifteenth issue, they finally revealed Peter Porker’s origin and it’s a little familiar. Peter was originally a cartoony spider living in the corner Aunt May’s basement. At the time, May was a scientist and accidentally turned herself into an irradiated and mindless menace. She grabbed the spider and bit it, evolving the spider into a full-on anthromorphic pig. Aunt May lost her marbles a bit and started insisting that this mutated spider was her nephew Peter and, ergo, Spider-Ham.
Welp. I mean, that’s at least a slightly better origin than Bouncing Boy.
The series ended after seventeen issues. The final issue included a backup story about the Secret Furs, starring the Beeyonder.
Spider-Ham’s adventures continued as backups in Marvel Tales, which is the Marvel equivalent of getting your timeslot moved to 3am. Regardless, he made about twice as many appearances there as his ongoing, albeit less frequent as time went on.
Spider-Ham not only made sporadic appearances in What The--?! (Marvel’s late-80s/early-90s version of Mad Magazine), but the comic itself was sporadic on its own. Only 26 issues over the course of five years on that one. During this time, Spider-Ham starred in parodies of Kraven’s Last Hunt and Spider-Man 2099.
read more - The Smart Alecky History of Spider-Man and Deadpool
The most notable appearance during this time was 20th issue, which was a big, one-issue crossover event of Marvel’s joke heroes in a story called "Infinity Wart." Spider-Ham teamed up with long-running Marvel lame-o Forbush Man and lesser-known heroes Milk and Cookies (a parody of Cloak and Dagger and superhero duos in general) and Wolverina. Wolverina’s deal was that she was a female version of Wolverine because, haha, wouldn’t such a thing be ridiculous?!
Since the story was supposed to be a send-off of the Infinity War comic, that meant that the heroes had to fight evil doppelgangers. Rather than fight a version of the six-armed Spider Doppelganger, Spider-Ham instead took on Pork Grind, a wonderfully-named take on Venom who talked in an Austrian accent because it was the early 90s and that’s how we did things back then.
read more - Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - Who is Miles Morales?
After the cancellation of What The--?!, Spider-Ham stopped showing up with any regularity. Over time, he became more of a nostalgic footnote. It was one of those things where people would just remember that for a stretch of ten years, there was a pig version of Spider-Man who occasionally showed up in comics. I recall Brian Michael Bendis joking about how he’d always want to bring him back, but realized that there’s not much you could really do with the character.
And honestly, for the most part, he was right. When they tried doing stuff with him, even after so many years later, it always fell flat. In 2007, there was a one-shot called Ultimate Civil War: Spider-Ham that was just a big mess about Spider-Ham trying to figure out what ever happened to thought bubbles while giving nods to Civil War and Marvel Zombies. Then they had a bunch of pin-up pages of pig versions of different heroes.
read more - The Making of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
The one saving grace was that this comic’s animal parody of the Hulk was called Green Ham and Eggs, which is at least better than Hulk-Bunny.
Around the release of Spider-Man 3, Marvel started a short-lived series called Amazing Spider-Man Family, which was made up of short stories revolving around everything spider-related, including the alternate future adventures of Spider-Girl. Tom Defalco – creator of Spider-Girl and Spider-Ham – merged the two together and introduced Swiney-Girl for a couple issues. Gone was the cutesy 1980s art and replacing it was Shawn Moll inspiring us to kill it with fire.
GAH! At least it’s better when the masks are on.
Oh, and Mary Jane Water Buffalo was rewritten as Mary Crane Watson. I blame Moophisto.
A 25-year anniversary issue of Spider-Ham was released in 2010 and while it had its moments, it was nothing earth-shattering. Yet the same year would give us a single gag that would finally figure out a way to make Spider-Ham work as a concept.
2010 gave us the video game Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. In it, Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man, Spider-Man Noir, and Spider-Man 2099 are drawn together to fight side-by-side. Crazy concept, right? In the post-credits scene, Madam Web – the one who brought them all together to save the multiverse – is surprised when Spider-Ham shows up in front of her, late for the party. She gives a surprised, “What the--?!” and Spider-Ham simply tells us, “’Nuff said, folks.”
read more - Why Three Directors Made Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
And that’s it! That’s the gold of Spider-Ham! It isn’t about seeing him fight villains with silly names and act as a parody of a superhero already known for being comedic. It’s about the fact that he exists and the contrast of seeing him interact with normal comic book characters.
This spark gave us Spider-Verse, the big comic event that brought together Spider-Men from all throughout the multiverse while introducing us to Spider-Gwen and Peni Parker. Spider-Ham, naturally, got to show up, even if he was considerably less ridiculous than the likes of Original Animated Spider-Man and Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man.
Spider-Verse was enough of a success that they even did a loose adaptation on the Ultimate Spider-Man animated series, which itself included Spider-Ham. Yeah, Spider-Verse is only a few years old and there’s already two animated takes on it. Wild.
Speaking of cross-dimensional Miles Morales stories, shortly before the fall of the Ultimate Universe, Ultimate FF by Joshua Hale Fialkov and Andre Araujo introduced the bizarre concept of Ultimate Larval. Ultimate Sue Storm and her teammates got to meet a refugee from the destroyed, more-modern-and-edgier superhero world.
“Miles Morhames.” I don’t know, I think that needed more workshopping.
Born out of the more recent Secret Wars, Peter Porker joined a new team of spider-folk from different realities called the Web Warriors. The Mike Costa series only lasted eleven issues, but sweet Jesus was it a fun eleven issues. In it, Spider-Ham mostly played the role of the team’s oddball comic relief. He got the mid-00s Plastic Man treatment where it was apparent that jokey hero or not, Spider-Ham is still an unkillable being who will wreck your shit if you give him the reason to.
read more: Every Spider-Man of the Spider-Verse
Also, there was a thing where Spider-Ham 2099 and Spider-Gwen fight the Marvel Megamorphs version of Doc Ock (glad someone else remembers those) and this happens.
I like her moxie.
Now with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, we get yet another example of Spider-Ham doing his shtick while human beings tower over him and shrug. Plus it’s John Mulaney doing the voice and he’s just delightful.
read more - Spider-Man: Far From Home - Everything You Need to Know
Spider-Ham, in the end, is about basic comedy. If everything is wacky, then nothing pops. Put something wacky up against something straight? Well, then you got a pork stew going.
Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and was disappointed that Pork Grind didn’t appear in Venomverse outside of a cover cameo. Read Gavin’s other articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L
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