Who’s Hot in New Capenna
Okay! Streets of New Capenna was set in a glitzy 1920s Fritz Lang-style metropolis ruled by a bunch of different criminal syndicates. Its major contribution to Magic is that it introduced jazz to the multiverse, and was otherwise a substandard draft set anchored to, presumably, a story? I’m almost positive there was a story, but I’ve never spoken to anyone who knows what it was. They juice angels to make drugs? Vivien shows up, because where is Ms. Park Ranger more at home than Industrialized Urban Environments? Urabrask is also here?
Anyway the frequent badness of Magic story is tempered by the fact that we mostly encounter it in isolated pieces of cardboard with killer fucking art and are free to derive better ideas about story and characters and setting than you would get if you actually read the story, most of the time. It’s also tempered by the fact that girls!
AND HOW! WE’VE GOT GIRLS IN ALL YOUR FAVORITE JAZZ AGE LOOKS! GIRLS IN SUSPENDERS? YOU BET! WAISTCOATS? DIME A DOZEN, PAL! YOU WANT KISS CURLS? WE COULDN’T FIT MORE POMADE IN THESE COIFS IF WE TRIED! HOW ABOUT ARM MUSCULATURE? BUDDY, WHY DON’T YOU JUST TAKE A PEEK FOR YOURSELF?
Night Clubber (art by Joshua Raphael)
Ask me how I know Moustache here is from Queens. Go on, ask me.
Cause if he was from Brooklyn, he could dodge ‘er!
But seriously, folks: arms like fuckin tree trunks here. That is delectable. And just because you’re heading out for a night of swinging baseball bats at the heads of tourists with expensive wristwatches doesn’t mean you don’t dress to the nines, or at least the eights! Or like realistically maybe just the sevens - the pinstripe trousers are great, the lip color’s great, and I adore the extreme sleevelessness, but it’s clear her clothes have seen better days - which is maybe why she’s out here with the bat.
Also, baseball is canon in the MtG multiverse now! That’s fun. Maybe the Gatewatch could put together a company team, if any of them are left at the end of the current storyline. “Take Me Out to the Holodeck” but it’s our favorite surviving planeswalkers against, like, Freyalise’s supremacist elves. Chandra struggling to swing a bat without immolating it. Kaya getting into an argument with the umpire about whether ghosting through an opposing baseman holding the ball counts as being tagged out. Garruk-as-Worf yelling DEATH TO THE OPPOSITION. This bit was about a specific episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine; I really appreciate you reading my horny Magic blog, and I am not going to be respectful of your time.
Dapper Shieldmate (art by Greg Opalinski)
Okay, on a strict practicality level, having a plate mail waistcoat that leaves your neck and sternum covered only by a starched collar and a tie is basically just a chainmail bikini for lesbians. I can imagine Beige Sonja here thinking “well, I’ve got pauldrons on my pinstripe suit, for safety, but I’m worried I don’t look like enough of a dyke, so I’m going to make sure to roll my sleeves up,” because that’s the sort of thought process that often guides my sartorial choices as well. I also love the “I don’t particularly care about my appearance” messy hair on top combined with the “I really actually desperately care” glossy waves on the side. She’s trying way too hard, and honestly, that’s hot.
Glamorous Outlaw (art by Maria Zolotukhina)
Okay, there’s trying too hard, and there’s “I rented a panther for a date” trying too hard.
Venom Connoisseur (art by Marta Nael)
This isn’t a subtle piece of card art, but sometimes it’s enough to get your tits most of the way out and slap a python on em. Convincing someone to shake a hand with at least two venomous snakes coiled around it probably requires a substantial distraction, so: this cleavage is actually tactical, did you know?
Psionic Snoop (art by Marcela Medeiros)
I’m not going to lead with “oh, you’re psychic? can you tell what i’m thinking?” because I’m sure she’s heard that a hundred times from a hundred different slimeballs, but also she definitely knows it was my first thought, which is pretty embarrassing. Actually it is probably a bad idea for me to try and sleep with any kind of telepath unless she’d be remarkably tolerant of the sort of anxious inner monologue where I can’t ask a pretty barista’s name without first getting sidetracked into a long thought process involving Martin Buber and the alienation of capitalism, culminating in not asking her name and coming back another day, by which point it turns out she’s moving to Colorado and I’ve missed my shot, and all I got out of the whole thing was pretty good music recommendations (Khruangbin, in point of fact.) Hm. What were we talking about?
Jetmir’s Fixer (art by John Thacker)
Rakish, flamboyant, good with explosives: the cat’s hot, sorry.
Caldaia Strongarm (art by Randy Vargas)
Ma’am. Your arms.
Jaxis, the Troublemaker (art by Zoltan Boros)
Look I’m just a simple, honest lesbian, you know? End of the day, I want what we all want: a ripped, sweaty woman in suspenders with the world’s most utterly contemptuous sneer, the kind of sneer that stomps all the way down your spine with cleats, the kind of sneer that’ll slam you against a wall, spit in your face, and leave you bruised for a month. Yes, it has been entirely too long since someone beat the hell out of me, thank you for asking!
NEXT TIME WE GO BACK TO DOMINARIA FOR SOME DISAPPOINTING ITERATIONS OF HOT CHARACTERS, AND AN INTERDIMENSIONAL DOMINATRIX SLIPS INTO SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE: A MULTI-STORY STRAP-ON.
We’re almost caught up, folks. New Phyrexia is very, very soon.
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Fotógrafos da exposição Toner/Torque - dezembro de 2022
FOTÓGRAFOS DA PRIMEIRA EXPOSIÇÃO TONER/TORQUE - DEZEMBRO DE 2022
A primeira exposição colaborativa Toner/Torque trará 82 fotógrafos, 4 continentes e infinitos Brasis.
Adrian Rovetta (Anchieta/ES)
Aluízio Sueth Jr. (Alegre/ES)
Babak Kanaani (Teerã - Irã)
Bárbara da Silva Santos (Vitória/ES)
Beatriz Sodré (Vitória/ES)
Bruno Queiroz Marvila (Linhares/ES)
Bruno Reis (Vitória/ES)
Carlos Carriço dos Santos (Anchieta/ES)
Carlos Felipe Rojas (Curitiba/PR)
Caroline Minzoni (Anchieta/ES)
Chad Tobin (Nova Escócia - Canadá)
Christine Walter-Saxena (Londres - Inglaterra)
Cláudia Sampaio (Alegre/ES)
Craig Mammano (Seattle/WA - EUA)
Danilo Andrade (Berlim - Alemanha)
Deybiane Moreschi (Anchieta/ES)
Douglas Lopes (Anchieta/ES)
Ederson Klug (Vila Velha/ES)
Eliane Grillo (Anchieta/ES)
Ellen Bravo (Anchieta/ES)
Eustáquio Silva (Belo Horizonte/MG)
Fábio Miguel Roque (Sintra - Portugal)
Fábio Mozine (Vila Velha/ES)
Fabiola Jungles (Curitiba/PR)
Fernanda Santos do Nascimento (Anchieta/ES)
Fernando Costa Netto (São Paulo/SP)
Fred Ayres (Espera Feliz/MG)
Gabriela Carrara (Niterói/RJ)
Gabriely Tiburski (Jaraguá do Sul/SC)
George Bravo (Rio de Janeiro/RJ)
Gimü (Vila Velha/ES)
Gustavo Minas (Brasília/DF)
Guy Veloso (Belém/PA)
Islane Flôr (Anchieta/ES)
Ivo Escossia (Fortaleza/CE)
JC Anjos (Rio de Janeiro/RJ)
Jean Venturim (Venda Nova do Imigrante/ES)
Jessie Dinan (Melbourne - Australia)
Jiang Wang (Pequim - China)
Jonas Viriato (Anchieta/ES)
Jose Gallardo (Málaga - Espanha)
Lacy Filho (Alegre/ES)
Léo Daruma (Santos/SP)
Leonardo Daher (Brasília/DF)
Leonardo Prata (Vitória/ES)
Lorena Gomes (Anchieta/ES)
Lua Catake (Belo Horizonte/MG)
Lucas Muniz (Rio de Janeiro/RJ)
Luciana Silveira (Vitória/ES)
Luiz Henrique Rangel (Anchieta/ES)
Marcela Medeiros Calazans (Vitória/ES)
Maria Amélia Boechat (Bom Jesus do Itabapoana/RJ)
Maria Auxiliadora Pires (Alegre/ES)
Maria Bonella (Vitória/ES)
Maria da Penha Soares (Alegre/ES)
Mariana Antônio (Alegre/ES)
Mirella Bravo Bonella (Vitória/ES)
Miro Soares (Vitória/ES)
Monique Ferbek (Anchieta/ES)
Nadja Kouchi (São Paulo/SP)
Nandolfo (Vitória/ES)
Olandim Sueth (Alegre/ES)
Othon Ribeiro (Anchieta/ES)
Paula Holanda Cavalcante (Feira de Santana/BA)
Paula Maria (Vila Velha/ES)
Rafael da Silva (Guaçui/ES)
Raphael Pereira Santos da Silva Machado (__)
Ricardo Luis Silva (São Paulo/SP)
Roberta Lima (Santos/SP)
Roberto de Barros Lima (Vitória/ES)
Rodrigo Lima (São Paulo/SP)
Rogério Campos (Vitória/ES)
Sara Lovatti (Vitória/ES)
Sergej Vutuc (Paris - França)
Sol Iaria Berlt (Anchieta/ES)
Taynara Barreto (Alegre/ES)
Tiago Almeida (Rio de Janeiro/RJ)
Trey Derbes (Los Angeles/CA - EUA)
Uanas Linhares (Vila Velha/ES)
Vagner Benezath (Vitória/ES)
Vitor de Lima Siqueira (Serra/ES)
Werllen Castro (Vitória/ES)
XÉROX-ARTISTAS - PRIMEIRA EXPOSIÇÃO TONER/TORQUE - DEZEMBRO DE 2022
29 talentosos alunos da rede pública de ensino, orientados pela professora Iris Negrini, enviaram trabalhos em arte xérox para a exposição.
Adriely Silva (Anchieta/ES)
Alexandro Souza (Piúma/ES)
Ana Carolina Vieira de Macedo (Anchieta/ES)
Ana Carolyna Vieira de Macedo (Anchieta/ES)
Ana Izabella Rodrigues Meleipe (Anchieta/ES)
Brian R. de Mattos (Guarapari/ES)
Carlos Eduardo Carriço dos Santos (Anchieta/ES)
Edy Gomes (Anchieta/ES)
Gabriel Cunha (Guarapari/ES)
Gabriel Gomes Ferrando (Piúma/ES)
Gabriel Marx Gonçalves dos Reis (Anchieta/ES)
Gilciane Alves (Anchieta/ES)
Iris Negrini (Anchieta/ES)
Isabella Germano (Piúma/ES)
João Pedro Nascimento (Anchieta/ES)
João Vitor Almeida Matos (Anchieta/ES)
Lucas Cesar Morais (Anchieta/ES)
Luiz Felipe (Piúma/ES)
Maria Eduarda de Nadai (Anchieta/ES)
Maria Eduarda de Souza Santos Ferreira (Piúma/ES)
Matheus Alves da Silva (Piúma/ES)
Matheus Bento (Anchieta/ES)
Matheus Santos (Anchieta/ES)
Natan Coutinho Carvalho (Anchieta/ES)
Reinam Silva (Anchieta/ES)
Simon Silva (Anchieta/ES)
Thalles Matos Ferreira (Guarapari/ES)
Vitória Rita Lorencini (Anchieta/ES)
Wederson Júnior (Anchieta/ES)
***
O lançamento da exposição acontecerá no dia 1º de dezembro, quinta-feira, às 18h, no CEU das Artes, bairro Planalto, em Anchieta (ES).
Realização: Luciano Albertazzi Bravo (curador) e Gerência Estratégica Municipal de Cultura e Patrimônio Histórico.
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📚Mid-Year Freakout Tag 2022 📚
I stole this from @ninja-muse, hope you don’t mind!
1. How many books have you read so far?
81
2. What genres have you read?
Fantasy, Horror, Poetry, Literary Fiction, Romance, Philosophy, Cooking, Self-Help, Erotica, Short Stories, Mystery, Thriller, Feminism, Contemporary, Historical, Middle grade, Classics, Psychology, Memoirs, Politics, YA, True Crime & Cozy Mystery
3. Best book you’ve read so far in 2022
Dead dead girls by Nekesa Afia
4. Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2022
Eidolon by Grace Draven
5. New release you haven’t read yet, but want to
The Maid by Nita Prose
6. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year
A Duel With the Vampire Lord by Elise Kova.
7. Biggest disappointment
Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reed
8. Biggest surprise
I have two: Slewfoot by Brom and Dark Harvest by Norman Partridge
9. Underrated gems
The Sweetest Kind of Poison by Katie Wismer, Master of Crows & Entreat Me by Grace Draven, Olive and the Backstage Ghost by Michelle Schusterman & Aphrodite Made Me Do It by Trista Mateer,
10. Book that made you cry
Violeta by Isabel Allende
11. Book that made you happy
A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows.
12. Most beautiful book cover of a book you’ve read so far this year
A Deal With The Elf King & Dance With The Fae Prince -- the artwort by Marcela Medeiros is very lovely.
13. How are you doing with your year’s goals?
I’m doing very well, in fact I am past what I thought I’d be. My goal this year is 100, and I’m just 19 books away, so yay!
14. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?
Mexican Gothic, My Sweet Girl, No Gods No Monsters, Transcendent Kingdom, The Witch’s Heart, Silence For The Dead, Dracul, The Christie Affair, The Island of Missing Trees & Goldenrod.
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