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dindooku · 3 years

Text

ao3 - loulou1810

you hesitated, knowing there was no other way around this. he could just look you up on the holocomputer. your name would be top of the list. and he’ll, you were in a max prison security unit, so using petty crime wouldn’t cut it either.

you’d have to tell him, be honest. that’s the honourable thing to do, right?

tw - contains violence, suggestive themes and flashbacks of sexual assault/rape

word count: 5,040

____

His chair slowly turned to face you. The child was sat comfortably in his lap playing with a small silver ball, completely entranced by its chrome.

“Is that it?” He scoffed back with a slight hiccup of a laugh. “Me too, why’d they lock you up there? Bit overkill?”

“Yeah…” You drifted, wondering whether you should tell the truth. “I was captured about 2 years ago…” You start, gauging his reaction to see whether he actually wanted to know. He sat up and fixed his gaze to you, signalling that he was listening and for you to continue. You dropped your head, eyes now transfixed on the loose piece of thread you were wrapping around your fingers,

“Well, I was captured. I was originally what you could call a hit-man for the Republic. I’d worked for them consistently for around 8 years. They used me to hunt down and dispose of Ex-Empire politicians and War Lords, but one mission went south and I was drugged. I was then sold to a high-class underground fighting ring, they’d implanted some sort of control chip which meant they could stop me from lashing out or protesting. They could make me do whatever they wanted…” you paused.

This part of the memory was particularly painful. “They didn’t just use me for fighting,” There were so many hidden meanings and stories hidden there, stories you’ve hidden away and not even bared to think about yourself. They’re too painful, just thinking about it felt like daggers were being slowly pushed into your skull, “One customer had let their name loose during…” Your breath hitched, tears now pricking your eyes as the trauma replayed vividly in-front of your eyes, again and again. You close your eyes so that Mando can’t see how much this has affected you. “I committed the name to memory. During one fight I heard that name again. I saw them in the crowd and something in me just snapped, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore. As soon as I’d dealt with my opponent I sent a knife straight through his skull.” The memory was clear as day now and just as callous.

The extravagant curtains draped the room. Rows of black leather chairs lined the arena, circling around the central ring. The lights were dim, a subtle red stained the multicultural onlookers in a bloodied mood lighting. This was a highly prestigious place, only the highest-ranking officials and galactic influencers could witness this fight… this was obvious from the lavish guest attire. Some coated greedily in gold, others jewels and crystals. Normally you’d be dismayed by the lavish beauty of it all, but not today. You were fighting for your life against one of your more difficult opponents. They were at least 3 times your size, chiselled from pure warrior muscle, wielding a heavy battle-axe which was decorated with the bones of their previous wins. You’d given them a run for your money the whole fight, slowly chipping away at their ego with your double-edged Phrik knives. These were the only weapons you needed. Despite this, you weren’t yourself in this moment. Your targets unbeknownst to you were sat peacefully in the viewing box. Your thoughts were painful, the weight of the constant torture and manipulation had worn you thin, you were on your last tether. Despite the chip stopping you from resisting, your soul was ripping that connection from you with every punch, kick and slice. ‘This is your purpose, do it’ swirled your mind in a violent tempest. The words tortured you, controlling every cell in your body.

And then you heard it, their name. You glanced towards its direction. They were right there, in front of you, taunting you with their presence. ‘Complete the mission. Do what you have trained to do. Feed that temptation ’. You’d had enough. As if timed moved slower now, you slid under the belly of your opponent, grabbing their ankle you kicked yourself up, swinging onto their back. You planted a knife into the nape of their neck, twisting it to make sure. As they fell forwards you used the momentum to jump, launching your other knife over the barrier and into the viewing box. It left your fingers before you could control it, before you could stop yourself. The next few seconds felt like a lifetime that day. The confused agony not leaving their face until you’d dropped to of view. You’d watched their face as they realised what had happened. The synthetic mind that had been forced into you left the moment the knife did, and the weight of that kill latched onto your soul.

“The synthetic consciousness left with the knife. What I didn’t know is that they were a high ranking Republican political official, and you can piece the puzzle from there. That was that. It was over for me”

You could feel his rage. This had angered him more than you. You didn’t dare say a thing. You fiddled harder with the fabric in your fingers now, the anxiety was suffocating you and you didn’t know what to do. You knew that what the officer did to you was wrong, illegal. But the way you’d been treated afterwards was what stung. You were the dirty criminal, they were a war hero. It didn’t take long for them to convince you that you were crazy, that you were a psychopath.

This guilt would carry you to the grave, maybe even push you in.

“If it wasn’t your choi-… if it was synthetic, why’d they lock you up? You were kidnapped and manipulated.” The question fair, and exactly the same question that had eaten away at you ever since they sentenced you. You were taken, held hostage, abused and tortured. Your body became a toy, something for them to release their anger and lustful cravings on. The pain they slowly incited within you only made things easier for them, more enjoyable, they fed off your hate. You tried to cut your emotions, but what they did to you was unforgivable, sadistic. They used your emotions against you, like Lori said would happen. By the time their use for you came around you were an empty shell, stripped bare. They implanted you, and with the flip of a switch, you were their puppet.

“My kidnappers implanted a chip into my brain. They could control me when they wanted, on and off like a droid. It was an old hijacked Clone Wars tech. They only had one use for me, making money. Once I’d done their bidding for them, they’d turn it off. After the incident though, they destroyed the switch along with the evidence. I was classed as insane. The Republic arrested me and took me in. That's how I ended up in the transporter. I was Disposable”

The last word rang your ears, it was driven into you from the start. No one had any attachments to you, no one. You were nothing. A credit without currency. An object.

The sigh that left your body felt like it took the last remaining pieces of your soul. Your tears relenting now, a nervous response to the rehashed trauma. You’d thought about it until your mind was raw. No matter how hard you reasoned with your conscience, you couldn’t shake the guilt. It was your fault, you knew it. You wished that you hadn’t thrown that knife, that you’d had more self-control and restraint. Deep down though, there was no other reason, you killed them, no one else. You, you’re the sick psycho.

“So they can’t control you anymore?” It was low, quiet. You knew he was trying to understand how it all worked, it was confusing even to you, and you weren’t the best at explaining things either.

“I don’t think so, they said they’d destroyed the controller,” You told yourself that they couldn’t control you like they did then, not anymore. But you couldn’t deny the power they still held over you. The way they’d manipulated, engraved their domination into you meant that you’d do anything they’d say out of fear. They were the only people you feared. You couldn’t face that pain again, and you knew resisting would only lead to torture. Out here in this ship, flying through hyperspace… they had no grip here, you were away from them, free.

He seemed uneasy, and you thought it was because he suspected that you could just turn on him at the flick of a switch. You were sure that they’d destroyed it. They’d not used it since…

“Would you like a job?” Out of everything you thought that he was going to say, you really could not have ever thought he’d be asking to employ you. You darted your eyes up, the confusion on your face was almost painful. Completely speechless. He elaborated, “I need someone to look after the Kid” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You’d just told this guy that you were a top-ranking assassin and now he wants to employ you as his babysitter?

“Are you having a laugh?” Is all you could say, chuckling as the words left your mouth. You’d never dealt with kids. You had no idea what you were doing. Mando seemed to be doing fine, why did he need you?

“Why, what makes you think that?” He sounds confused now. He shifts his head back a bit, his back straightening. He really did not know why this was all so confusing…

“You want me…me?” you point to your chest, emphasising your concern “of all people, you want me to look after the Child? Did you listen to a word I just said?”

“Yeah. You’re overqualified. Exactly what I’m looking for.” Right, this is odd. You pinch yourself, are you really awake. Have you somehow died or is this some messed up dream?

“I don’t understand?” You curt back, arms now folded in an aggressive manner. You weren’t up for being played around.

“I need someone who can protect the Child, you said you were trained and that’s obvious, I saw the way you moved from me in the cell, how you came away unscathed from Xian” He was right. You started to see what he was getting at, and despite agreeing that you could quite comfortably be the Childs personal bodyguard, you couldn’t deny the fact you had no idea how to look after a Child in the first place.

“I have no idea how to look after a Child…”

“Neither do I, we can figure it out together” He looked down to check on the kid. He was in a whole other galaxy, completely amiss to the tense situation happening just in front of him, the chrome ball his only concern. Mando’s gaze held for a moment, you assumed to weigh up all the possibilities of what he was offering. He turned back to you.

“You can call me Mando” And with that, he left the cockpit to put his weapons away in the main hull. You glanced at the child’s beaming toothy grin as he was carried away. You were frozen. That was it. You’d just bagged yourself a job.

___

He watched you, eyes bearing into your back as you assessed what was now going to be your new home…if you could even call it that. He handed you a small bag of clothes, some black long sleeve t-shirt’s that were way too big for you, some trousers and toiletries. The gesture was appreciated. You placed it down next to the metal slab of a pull-out bed… Damn, it is what is. You scold yourself, you’ve never had luxury, why do you expect it now? Maybe the promise of freedom was sweeter than it actually was. He nods for you to follow him out of the room.

He shows you the fresher, which is small but practical. Next, the carbonite freezer, explaining briefly that this is where his bounties go. Then, he pointed to his cabin, making it explicitly clear not to enter or open it unless he says so, even in emergencies. You thought it was odd but then it clicked as to why, and so you let the question die before it surfaced.

You’ve heard the stories of Mandalorian’s, how they’re the fiercest warriors in the galaxy. You’d read books about the battles, the power that ran through their blood. Through your job, you’d come across a few who posed as Mandalorian's but were never real. They wore the armour for protection and style, never out of honour. But with the way this guy acted, spoke and had some sort of attachment issues to his armour… you sussed he was the real deal. Xian even said the doesn’t take it off during…stop.

_____

A few days had passed now and Mando was getting more and more agitated. You’d stopped off at a small spaceport on a remote planet to gather more supplies and fuel.

You walked together through the market. He’d given you a small bag of credits so that you could get some spare clothes, toiletries and anything else you’d need for your stay on the Razor Crest. It wasn’t much but was enough to tide you over. You couldn’t complain, you had no money so it was better than nothing. You made sure to say thanks as you walked out the ship, following just behind him.

The market was a bit overwhelming at first, but once you’d realised that no one was out to get you you settled down. Mando walked in front, the Kid sat up in his pod, watching the people go about their lives. You noticed that people were making extra effort to stay out of his way, turning to whisper to others as you passed. He stuck out like a sore thumb wearing all that armour, but he didn’t seem to care. It certainly made traversing the busy streets a lot easier. You also found that you got things for a lot cheaper too, he’d stand just over your shoulder each time you went to a stall. The owner would give you the biggest smile whilst simultaneously trying not to anger the armoured chrome bucket behind you.

You found one stall that sold a bazaar range of things, from cutlery to footwear. But what caught your eye was the small Orback toy sat over in the far corner. It was perfect for the kid, it’d keep him distracted and it meant that Mando might get the silver chrome ball back. You asked for the price, not bothering to haggle the shopkeeper. Once you’d paid for it he handed it over and you placed it straight into the Childs hands. He looked it over for a second, confused at what you were giving him. He soon realised and the noise he made melted your heart, he was ecstatic. Waving it around in the air you grabbed the silver ball and handed it to Mando. He nodded at you, then glanced at the now screaming child who was what looked like laying down the law to his new friend.

After a while, the distance between you and Mando got closer and closer until there came a point where your arms were practically nudging one-another with each stride. You didn’t mind the contact, it was nice actually. Even in the busy streets, you felt like the only one there, his presence looming and protective. As the streets got busier you started to get antsy, you’re now scanning for possible threats. You didn’t want to slip up on your first day on the job, first impressions count. Mando could sense your tension and tried to soothe you by resting a hand onto the small of your back as you were walking. It brought your attention away from the dark alleyway and the rooftops and right into his touch. It paid off and you were instantly calmer. You said thanks through a small smile, which still hadn’t left your face whilst you were packing your stuff away back on the ship.

“We have to go somewhere, to pick up someone. I know you’re skilled in fighting, more than many I’ve seen” The compliment lands short as he continues, “The Child has a bounty and he isn’t safe until we take out the root cause. I'm going to need your help with this, is that ok?”

“Yes… for the Child, anything” He stared at you for a second. You guessed it was so he could read your face, ensure that you were ok with what he was asking of you. If it meant that the Child would be safe, then you’d do it. You know it was now your job, but over the few days you’ve been part of his crew, the Child has grown on you, incredibly. He’s already taught you so much, things you never thought you’d learn, and you’re grateful to the Child for that. Even though he can’t talk, he still finds ways to communicate warmth and hope. You don’t like to admit it but he is growing on you…a lot. He nodded and then left for the cockpit, firing up the engines and directing the ship out of the port. You turned away, walking back to your room.

__________

You wake screaming, the torture of your nightmare gripping your neck vindictively, suffocating you, dragging you into the depths of your mind that you never want to re-visit. You’re screaming but its broken, bloodied, hurt. You’re sat upright now, gripping your neck as you find release, the door to your cabin swinging open. He rushes in, quickly scanning the room for the cause, only to set his eyes on you and realise the root of the problem. He slows, just a small space between the both of you now, his helm still checking to ensure there’s no physical harm causing your pain.

You struggle to catch your breath, still clutching at your throat. The dried tears coating your cheeks, your eyes glint off of the ships dimmed lights. The extend of your struggle was shown in the reflection of his Beskar suit, the physical strain pertinent around your neck, the grip you’d been holding was enough to kill.

You were still struggling to breathe but were completely conscious now. Mando reached out a hand to your shoulder, trying to soothe you, “Breathe” He looks again to triple check the child isn’t doing any crazy magic as he had woken in a fit of tears too.

You quickly turn to look at him, your breathing still hoarse. The physical contact cutting through your mind and bringing you to now. Your eyes search for his. The black visor stared back. It’s probably good that you can’t see his face, as its currently slightly torn at the physical wound you’d inflicted to yourself in your sleep. His eyes scan the rest of your body, gazing at your arms which are now bare, the sleeves of the black-top he had given you were now rolled up. They’re riddled with scars of different shapes and sizes, but obvious. He glanced to your neck again, the edges of some pointed out from under the neck of the tee, some raised, some etched, some burned.

“Sorry for startling you…I…” The embarrassment starting to set in now you’ve absorbed the situation.

“The Child woke in tears too, and then I heard you screaming. Cara’s looking after him now”.

You furrow your brows at the new information. The Child too? Was he connected to your dream somehow? Or did the feeling transfer… you wouldn’t know, just acknowledging the connection and leaving it at that.

“Yeah… I was confused too…” he’d noticed the coincidence too, “We’ve got a busy day ahead of us. You should start getting ready soon.”

All this information was starting to rack your brain, the sleepy haze in your mind making it difficult to focus. Then you remembered.

The last week had been a blur. You’d picked up some reinforcements for the mission. First, an ex-shock trooper who went by the name Cara, the tattoo was one of the first things you noticed. She wore it proudly. Cara seemed nice enough even though Mando had told her your backstory, she understood. Her eyes had seen the horror of manipulation too. She knew pain, death. You doubt she’d excuse what you did, but it seemed as though she’d done her fair share and maybe call it even. You’d made small conversation with her and it seemed that you could trust her, you hoped that she’d trust you too.

And then Kuill, now he was sweet. A kind, older Ugnuaght who had served the Empire. He’d done his time. Like you, he was forced to do something he didn’t want to do. The similarity between you two was silently acknowledged, he knew your pain, wanting to fight back but not being able to. He always spoke to you with soft words. You remember his admission with clarity. A day or so after picking him and his Bluurgs up, Mando and Cara were discussing the plan in the cockpit. You were sat in the corner of the hull, entertaining the Child, rolling the chrome ball back and forth along the floor. Kuill strolled up to you, holding your shoulder, bringing your attention from the Child to him.

“I too know the pain of Capitulation. I served my time, and now I work for no one. My soul is free. You are changed now, your punishment dealt. Make good of your life now it is yours. I have spoken.”

You didn’t know what to say but you knew that was exactly what you needed to hear. You’d never had kinder words spoken. It was bittersweet, but a lifeline nonetheless.

“I don’t know exactly how things will turn out so it’s probably best we prepare for anything” he admits, fear hidden in the admission somewhere. “I have asked Kuill to look after the Child along with IG. You’ll come with me and Cara to sort the problem. To finish this.”

Your head turns to the small Ugnaught now standing in the doorway, Cara to his side holding the Child. You nod politely to them, slightly embarrassed at how they were seeing you. The Child coos, his arms outstretched to his Dad. Cara walks into your room to give Mando the child, he coos again, this time more assertive. Cara tries to hand him over to Mando but he’s blubbering louder now, his arms are now outstretched to you. You sit up properly at the realisation. Mando nods to Cara, giving her silent permission to hand the Child to you. They both watch as you and the Child babble, his hand grabbing around your finger.

The connection warms you. He’s telling you through the only way he knows how that he’s ok, and that you should be too. He exudes calmness, soothing your mind to level with his. You smile at him, silently thanking him for his unique comfort. He nods back with a coo, head-turning towards Mando. He looks back at you with a toothy grin, releasing your finger then making grabby gestures to Mando. You smile to yourself as you watch Mando pick up the Child and leave, resting him in his right arm. Mando’s head was tilted towards the Child as if to ask what all the fuss was about. Cara watches them leave then turns to you.

“Hey,” She says calmly, sitting to perch on the side of your bed.

“Hey, I'm sorry if I interrupted you, I didn’t mean to-” She cuts you off.

“Don't apologise, it’s ok, we all have bad dreams sometimes” She sports a small smile, letting you know she understands. You smile back. It’s nice to have another girl on the ship, you feel like you can open up to Cara a bit more than you can with Mando. You maintain the small smile, showing your sincerity. “The kid seems to really like you” She chuckles, showing a couple of teeth. She’s right, you both got along really well. You’d not known the Child for long but you were already smitten, the toothy grin got you every time.

“Thank you, Cara.” You don’t know what else to say. The simple reply is soft, thanking. You really did appreciate her care.

“Don’t thank me, you’re the one that can make that little womp-rat smile. I’ve tried and he just… anyway. We’re not far out now. You should get ready”

You both exchange a small smile, it's sweet. You know you can trust Cara now.

___

The doors to the weapons locker opened and you couldn’t stop your jaw from dropping in awe. There was enough to form a small army! Does this guy have a thing for weapons or what? He reaches out and grabs a blaster. It’s exquisitely crafted, the mahogany wood polished to within an inch of its life. Once securing it in his belt, he reaches out again, grabbing two leather sheaths. Turning, he hands them to you. You put them on, one of them sits on your right thigh, the other sits just under your binder and rests under your shirt. You look up at him, his visor pinning you in place.

“I took you as a knives person” He deadpans, handing you two combat knives. Yeah, true, he’d read you like a book. You loved close combat, the thrill of it was always your favourite. You hated your past but you did have to admit, you enjoyed the hunt, it felt like fighting was what you were made to do. You drop your gaze to the knives. They’re pleasing to the eye. You’d not seen anything like it, the metal had waves to it, like an ocean. You traced a finger up one end of the blade, the sharpness of them tantalising, “Beskar” he chimes. Goosebumps riddled you like a rash, you couldn’t hide the grin that found your face. You’d not had a nice pair of knives since you were taken, hostage. Looking back up to him you thank him, placing one in the thigh holster and the other in the holster on your chest. You felt more confident now, adrenaline starting to prickle your senses; your body was starting to prepare itself for what was to come.

He reaches in again, grabbing a small belt. It was rough and tatty, this must be an older belt he’d once used, the one he wore now was a lot sturdier and more practical. Turning back to you he hands it over. You hear a slight scraping sound, like metal on metal. Inspecting one of the two pouches attached to it you found it was full of little throwing knives. They weren’t the same material as the daggers he’d just given you, but still sharp nonetheless. The grin feverish once you’d placed the belt around your waist, it hung lower than you’d like but it was still practical. You tested the buckle to see if it’d release quickly, and to your amusement, it did. You look back up at Mando, grin now toothy like the kids. “Thanks, hopefully, I won’t have to use them”

“Don’t lie, we all know you want to,” he said jokingly. So he finds it funny now? His comment makes you glance down. He was right, you were looking forward to it. Guilt floods your cheeks and you blush, now coming to terms with how you’d been acting. You didn’t want them to think you wanted to fight. This mission needed to go as smoothly as possible, for the Kids sake. Now they just think you’re in it for the blood, great.

“I didn’t mean it like that…I…” He stutters on his words, now realising the meaning behind what he said.

“It’s ok, I get it” you mumble back, turning away to get your boots from your room. You don’t notice him turning his head back around, watching as you walk back into your cabin.

___

Trust Cara to be carrying the biggest blaster from the locker. She’s all muscle that girl, and she knew it too. A blaster that size would look stupid if you tried to use it, you’re not even sure you could even lift it. Cara made it look like it was second nature, each to their own.

“Let me do the talking,” says Mando. Him? Do the talking? Is he having a laugh? The guy can barely hold a conversation, and now he thinks he’s some negotiating mastermind. You let it slide though, he is a Mandalorian at the end of the day, the armour does most of the talking for him. “Kuill, are the Bluurgs ready?”

“Yes. Someone will have to walk, I only have three” he says back to Mando, back turned as he’s fixing the final bits of equipment to the Bluurgs.

“I’ll walk,” you say, you’re the odd one out at the end of the day. You want to make a good impression, and you thought that a decent walk wouldn’t do you harm. You’ve not had a chance to properly stretch your legs in too long.

“You sure? It’s a fair way?” Cara asks back, she’s genuine.

“Yeah, I need to stretch my legs, let me lend a favour” you smile back. You really did want them to trust you, and you thought this is the least you can do to show your appreciation for their kindness over the last few days.

“If you get tired then you tell me,” Mando commands. There's no room for if’s or but’s, he means it.

You pull a sneaky grin, the temptation to say it was just too much, you can give in this once, right? You pick your next words very carefully but use the most seductive tone you could. It's just a bit of fun…

“Yes, Sir”

Cara chokes out a shocked laugh. You turn to her, she’s pulling her eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. I'm glad that landed well… You laugh back as you both follow Kuill out of the ship to the Bluurgs, her elbow nudging your arm in a jokey way. You both continue giggling, not noticing the now slightly flustered Mandalorian.

Notes:

Hope u guys enjoy this chapter! the next couple chapters are quite action-driven as they follow the original arc, but I'm a few chapters ahead and let me tell you... is it getting hot in here?;)

#the mandalorian #mandalorian fanfic #mando x you #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin fanfiction #din needs a hug #angry din #fanfic series #mando x reader #mando.exe has stopped working

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dindooku · 3 years

Text

right i know i said i would make this mega juicy but the sad boi hours hit and... well. just read it.

i’m sorry.

You thought you wanted to escape.

You thought you wanted to be free.

You thought you wanted to be alone.

Tradegy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disilusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.

Blind.

rating: Mature/Explicit (had descriptions of blood and violence etc and depressive/dark thoughts)

- please be warned this chapter is sad af, so if you can’t/do not want to read about sad boi hours please do not read

word count: 4,940

————————

You didn't bother sleeping that night, your mind was too busy thinking of ways to escape the Mandalorian.

You were nothing but cheated, it felt like. And upon further contemplation, you'd practically convinced yourself that you didn't mean anything to him and that he'd just played you as everyone else had. There were no feelings, no personal sentiments, no attachment between him and you; and it hurt. He'd gotten what he wanted, and would continue to control and manipulate you behind your back, clutching your sense of freedom and chaining you to the cold confines of the Razor Crest.

You didn't want to believe this, though. You wanted more than anything for your mind to be playing tricks on you, and for your feelings, your true hidden feelings to be true. You wanted him to want you, to trust you. you wanted to work as a team, a power-couple you could say. But the fact of the matter at hand is that Mando had no interest in you helping him, working or even having any sort of independence at all.

You felt so confused.

On one hand, you wanted to stay, to give in and just be the stay at home babysitter Mando wanted you to be. But on the other hand, you wanted to finally be free, to do what you want and just go wild. Gideon had awoken something deep, something dark within you and you knew it'd only be a matter of time before you couldn't contain it anymore. You had to get out and release some energy - you wanted to on Nevarro but Din had stopped you, and you wanted to the other day when he left for his bounty, but yet again Mando demanded you stay on the ship.

It was suffocating.

Your choice was clear. You only really had one option, run. Run as far and as fast as you can. he was one of the best trackers in the galaxy, but you were a vicious machine bred and trained, ruthless and aggressive. You would do anything to taste the sweet buzz of adrenaline again, to feel truly alive once more. You were addicted to it, the smell of violence tugged at your heart, and the sadistic bite of pain made your insides twist and turn in with-drawl. You really couldn't control it any longer. The sweet temptations of the galaxy before you we're all-encompassing.

Back to the plan. It was night, the ship was sunken into the blanket of night. You checked the wall clock, 02:19AM. Perfect; Din would be asleep around now and locked away in his cabin with the Kid - that meant no distractions. You quietly slid out of the bed, silently slipping on your trousers, tunic and everything else you'd need - both your thigh knife holsters and the chest cueress. you slid on the poncho Mando had let you borrow to keep warm and slowly left the cabin.

And you were practically on autopilot. You made no sound as you edged around the hull - ensuring you missed furniture and loose bits of metal as you had memorised the ship in the little time you'd spent on it. You found yourself stood just outside of Din's cabin, right next to the weapons cabinet. You had one shot at this, and you prayed to the maker above that he was in a deep enough sleep to not wake up to the sound of you ransacking his weapons stash. As quietly as you could, you tapped the code into the keypad to the right and the doors swung open, you caught them before they made the classic tap against the wall of the ship.

You didn't have much time, hurry.

You eyed the contents and quickly grabbed the two Karambit knives Mando had gifted you, along with the bag and belt of throwing knives, and two combat Beskar knives too. You *borrowed* a couple of charges as well as a blaster, which you hastily tucked into the back of your pants. You eyed the cupboard for something to holster it in, and you found yourself lucky as you grabbed a secondary thigh holster. You're pretty sure it was one of Mando's shin holsters he used for the Vibro-blade that sat tucked in his boot, but it'd hold the blaster for now and it was small enough to wrap the upper part of your thigh. Perfect. You needed credits too - you hated having to steal from Din, but if you had any chance of getting off if this rock without him, you had to do what was necessary; so you took the bag of credits sat comfy in the corner of the cupboard and emptied a few into your hands. You took what you needed and placed the credits into the pouch with the throwing knives.

With as much caution as before, you closed the doors to the cupboard, to then hastily make your way to the kitchen. You grabbed what you could that was at hand, a few protein bars, an empty flask and a dried packet of fruit. You didn't fill up the flask as you knew the sound of running water would wake Din up - you could find somewhere on the way. He'd left a shoulder satchel in the corner of the room and you swung it over your shoulder, placing more food and other bits into it as stealthily as you could.

You'd got everything you needed, now came the hard part. You crept out of the kitchen and into the main hull, quietly stepping until you were face to face with the ramp. You knew this would wake him up, but you were betting on the fact that he was either in really, really deep sleep or he would be too slow getting up and out to catch the direction you'd be leaving. That was another thing.

Where would you go?

You thought back to your survival training and countless hours spent tracking, stalking targets. You could do this, you were more than qualified. trust in yourself.

You took a deep breath before punching the code into the keypad for the ramp. the loud whir of electric motors grinding into life reverberated through the hull, and you didn't miss the distinctive clash and thud of Din falling out of his bed and trying his best to put his armour on.

But he was too slow.

By the time he'd gotten into the cockpit and aimed his blaster, you were gone.

---

You ran like your life depended on it - well, it pretty much did because you knew if Din caught up to you you were practically dead anyway. The man had pretty good taps on his temper but you were sure that he would just about lose his shit if he got hold of you. And that adrenaline, that fantastic sick rush is what fuelled you to run, and run, and run.

Luckily you had been quick enough to leave the ship, and Din didn't manage to get a grip on which direction you'd left - but you knew he had some sort of tracking gadget in that metal lid of his so you would have to be smart. Find somewhere busy and mix up the tracks, maybe even switch out your footwear or - wait, you could carve a new tread into the soles of your boots; perfect. But not now, because if he was tracking you he'd instantly notice the change - you needed commotion to confuse and render his tracking software useless.

You'd been running for around an hour now - more than your body would normally be able to cope with at this tempo, but you couldn't rest, you had to find a way off of this planet. You took a second to take in your surroundings. The heavy bushland had initially thickened into a desolate forest, but after some time you found the tree density to be thinning out, and after another half hour of running you found yourself at the back entrance to some sort of settlement or town.

You took a second to compose yourself, it was still incredibly early in the morning, but you didn't have time to wait.

You strode into the town, and it became apparent quite quickly that luck was on your side. As you peered around the corner the lights of a shipyard lit up in the far distance of the settlement. It wasn't anything big, but it was enough - a couple of ships lay dormant in the 5 or 6 bays at the far end of town.

You'd never stolen a ship before.

Trying not to act suspicious in case anyone was watching, you walked down through the main street of the town. The grass and moss had all but withered away into a solid dirt track, and the huts made of wood from the forest trees littered the surrounding landscape. It was quiet but serene, and you definitely felt a pang of guilt knowing that you were not the type of person that would be welcome here, you'd only cause trouble; and by the looks of things, they didn't get much trouble around here. Eventually, you found yourself at the entry of the shipyard and you let your eyes roll over the selection of docked ships. Instantly you knew two of the prospective six were off-limits as their owners sat outside, slumped over in their chairs next to each other - and by the looks of the empty bottles of alcohol, they were out for good. This was ideal, things couldn't be better. As you scanned the area, you noticed the ship you'd be taking.

It was an odd shape, but for some reason or another, you couldn't help but feel like you'd seen it before. It was definitely familiar, but from where you wouldn't know. It had a long snout of sorts and was sharp and precise in its craftsmanship. On either side, long triangles perched high, like ears. It was definitely unique, but it was in tidy condition and would do for what you needed.

Taking another look around, you quietly made your way over. To your astonishment, the ship was left unlocked. Surely a ship of this condition wouldn't be left in such a state of complete in-security? Either way, finders keepers.

You pressed the button to open the ramp and quickly made your way inside as it closed behind you. You hurried into the cockpit, instantly recognising the universal controls and powering the ship on. You clicked the holo-map and found the quickest path out of the atmosphere into space, you could worry about where to go later, you just needed to get off the ground. Flipping the switch for the thrusters, you felt the blazing roar of engines vibrate the cockpit and before you could think twice about what you were doing, you'd pulled the control arm back and were lifting into the sky. Turning the ship in a 180 away from the direction of the Razor Crest, you edged your way out from the dock and into the pre-planned flight path you'd programmed just moments before.

And just like that, you were gone. ---

Din awoke to the sound of the Razor Crest ramp opening, and before he could even register what he was doing, he was clumsily stumbling out of his bed and onto the hard dura-steel floor. The Kid awoke with a startled cry, and the bashing and clanking of Beskar being hurriedly worn didn't help matters - he could sense something was wrong. But Din wasn't fast enough, as when the door to his cabin opening and he strode out, blaster pointed and finger itching on the trigger, the hull was empty.

Odd, there's no one here, why - wait.

Din ran over to your cabin but knew better than to barge in. Instead, he hastily rapped his knuckles against the door.

"Hey! Wake up, did you open the ramp, are you ok?" Nothing. Dead silence. He tried again, this time knocking harder and with a bit more haste. "HEY! GET UP," and again, there was no response. Something wasn't right. He knew that breaking into your room was a complete breach of your privacy, but he'd rather deal with the consequences of your wrath than find you hurt, or worse. He shot the blaster into the keypad of the door and it flew open, but what he found was not what he expected. He expected you to either be asleep or to even be mid-fight with an intruder. Not for you to not be there.

This was worse, so much worse.

He turned and punched the side of the wall, groaning out in both parts pain from the impact of his knuckles against the dura-steel, and part from the rage and frustration at the realisation that this was his fault.

You'd left him.

The only person he could ever confide in, to let his guard down and allow himself to have some sort of pleasure in life; the only person he trusted, and you were gone. He didn't have time for this though, he had to find you, apologise, just do something. He couldn't let you just walk away from this, you'd been through too much together, and if you weren't there with him, he couldn't protect you. He'd nearly lost you once, he couldn't do it again.

He all but ran to the weapons locker, grabbing his pulse rifle and a few charges, the usual load-out he would take when tracking a bounty - and that's what he supposed this was, it was his job to track people, its all he'd ever done. Yet he still felt as nervous as his first time - what if he didn't find you?

And then the question of *why* burned its way to the front of his mind. What had he done to push you away like this? Yes, you'd shared a few intimate moments, but he was under the impression that, well, you enjoyed it just as much as he did... what had he done so wrong to make you want to leave, without even saying goodbye? He understood you were frustrated with him for stopping you from coming with him, but he only wanted what was best for both you and the Kid - taking you both with him was just not on the cards, even on a safe planet like this. You were more than capable of holding your own, that was made evident by the way you handled the Bounty that he'd brought back not a few hours ago. It was incredible, the way you moved so effortlessly but with clear, unhinged violence; it was beautiful, *you* were beautiful - yet he hated the ironic bond you shared with aggression and beauty - it was like you couldn't have one without the other, that your DNA was composed of the complicated connection both traits possessed and any attempt to strip or mutate your makeup would ruin you. Deep down he wished you weren't as skilled as you were because then he would have a reason other than his own selfishness to tell you to stay behind. But, he didn't... you were made to fight like he was, and he was being the biggest damn hypocrite by denying your basic rights to freedom.

He had to put these feelings aside. Focus on the task at hand - finding you and making sure you were safe. He would turn this galaxy upside down, wreak undying havoc among those that stopped him from getting to you.

He had to hunt like his life depended on it.

---

You had safely made it out of the upper atmosphere and were now sat comfortably in the vacuum of space. Your fingers trailed the star map in front of you - desperate to find somewhere to bunker low, maybe even take on some underground work and earn a few extra credits, just enough to tide you over so you can resupply and form a contingency plan.

Yavin...nope, Hoth...nope, Mustafar, definitely not...Tatooine...

Tatooine.

Perfect.

You'd heard of the secluded little dust planet on the outer rim, and it was notorious for its harbouring of the Hutts and criminals alike. That's exactly what you were looking for, you'd fit right in; plus you knew it'd be easy to get work, maybe even an underground bounty or two?

You punched in the flight plan and took a swig of water from the flask you'd just recently filled up. you had struck gold with this ship - it was full of food and medical supplies, and even had an impressive cabinet of weapons too. it was exactly what you needed. So, without hesitation, you were off.

_____

You honestly thought he'd have found you by now, but you mused the growing fear that maybe you were right.

He didn't care about you.

It had been eight months now and Din still hadn't shown his face.

Your time on Tatooine had been one you hadn't expected. You initially fled to the sandbox to get away from Din and abuse the freedom you thought you had earned, but the gimmick soon wore thin and now you were living like a hermit in the middle of the desert. You'd tried to save face after a particularly violent cantina shootout which was incidentally but unsurprisingly your fault, and so you fled the small town of Mos Espa. You trawled the desert for a few days until you came across a nice little secluded cave. Upon further inspection it seemed to be abandoned, the telltale traces of a previous life from long ago littered the inside. Dusty blankets and old kitchenware were tidily packed away as if the previous owner knew they wouldn't return, but they left things in such an order in which anyone would still be welcome in their domain. And so you took solitude in this little hiding spot of yours, bringing the ship back for safekeeping by parking it just next to the entrance of the cave.

The supplies on the ship had lasted you a while, three weeks if you rationed sensibly - but you knew you couldn't keep it up for long so get yourself busy with renovating the place. You came across the skeletal remnants of a water catcher and after a couple of days of tinkering, you got the old bit of kit running. That was your water sorted, now just food.

Whilst you had enough credits to last you a while, you reasoned on finding a somewhat stable source of income that would allow you to buy essentials, bits and pieces and any materials you may need to keep the water catcher running. So, at the start of your second week in your new humble abode, you set out for Mos Espa, and after a few drop-ins and questionable interview tactics, you'd managed to grab yourself a job as a barmaid.

It didn't pay particularly well, but it was just enough to get by and put food on the table. Life was simple.

Sweet.

Innocent.

Something you never thought you would be entitled to, something you knew you didn't deserve the privilege of experiencing. You had done enough damage in your lifetime to warrant another full of debt - and yet you found yourself on your back, counting the stars in a constellation you hadn't seen before, the cold touch of night soothing the phantom pain of singularity - the regret of your choice to be alone.

Because as much as you loved this new quiet life you had manufactured, it was nothing worth substance if you were not to share it with anyone.

You craved the intimate connection forged between two souls - that of which you would read about in mythical books of old, or listen upon as wise words were spoken in hindsight around the dying light of a fire. The indescribable feeling of love, companionship, trust.

It was something you had never felt in completion, and the slightest taste had you craving more to the point of insanity.

You thought you wanted to escape.

You thought you wanted to be free.

You thought you wanted to be alone.

Tragedy only strikes when the mind and soul are in disillusionment; when the body is so preoccupied chasing its lust that it refuses to listen to its reason.

Blind.

But you supposed that it all made sense now. The false pretences you had stumbled across, this home you had forged out of desperation for freedom.

Home isn't the place, the bricks or windows or doors.

Home is where the heart is, and your heart resided in the lost arms of Beskar.

_____

"Hey, Grogu?" Din asked from the pilot's seat. The little green gremlin's head shot up out of recognition, his toothy grin and litte 'eh?' spurring the hidden grin igniting on Din's face.

"You think she's ok, out there?" He asked.

"Patoo?" Grogu grunted.

Din chuckled, turning back to face the viewport before replying, "Y'know, wherever she is. Do you think she is doing alright?" He mused, head resting back against the seat. His search to find any Jedi willing to train Grogu had coming up short. Ahsoka had sent him to the seeing stone; she said Grogu would make his decision. His decision was to stay with the Mandalorian. Din was torn by this, he wanted Grogu to learn the way of his people, to become the incredible Jedi he knew he could be - whatever a Jedi truly was anyway; but he also needed Grogu more than many would realise. Din didn't let it on, but the day you left, he had never been the same. He had Grogu, yes, but that was different.

Grogu gave him something to focus on, something to care and nurture, to keep him grounded whenever he found himself wanting to just fly away from the mess he called a life.

But you gave him something to live for. He'd never mourned the loss of presence, of physical contact. He practically lived by a code that repressed said urges; a code that denied any humility. And yet for the last eight months, all he had done was grieve the loss of your lost promises, his own wishes for comfort.

People deal with loss in different ways, but like you, Din found himself being irresponsible. Hed made stupid mistakes. Hed done things he would never be able to seek forgiveness from for simply speaking the words would surely cast him as nothing but wild. Hed committed sins he knew earned him a first-class seat to the fiery pits of beyond, but the pain of your absence was torturous enough as it was, and he'd rather pay his debt with interest than feel the consequences of your disappearance any longer than he needed to. So after the few wreckless weeks of pure unbridled rage, and after a stern intervention from Cara and Carga, he finally managed to see somewhat straight.

He would find you, he had to. He would hunt you down like prey as his life depended on it.

Because it did.

He was truly alone.

The silence had never been so loud.

The nightmares had never been so violent.

______

You'd never seen the place so busy.

It was your lucky night it seemed, as you handed one of your friendly regulars their eighth drink. The cantina was flourishing, overflowing to the point where your boss Roscoe had to open up the back to allow for the partons to use the backyard as a makeshift drinks garden. It was the height of Tattoine summer and the suns were setting later and later into the night with each day that passed. It wasn't just the high suns and glorious weather that attracted your customers though, it was the now tactfully reduced amount of clothing you were wearing,

See, it was tactical for two reasons.

A - it was extremely hot and wearing any layers more than what was necessary was a form of self-punishment - so your ripped dregs for clothing would have to do. B - the fewer clothes you wore, the more tips you made.

At first, it felt wrong to scala van your body in this way, but you really needed the credits if you were to have any chance of leaving this dustbowl. You were tired of waiting for someone who is not coming back. So, anywhere better than here would do.

A loud whistle sounded from the other side of the bar. Rolling your eyes internally you reminded yourself that your shift ended in half an hour and you could be out of here and back in your bed within the hour. You turned, strolling over to the greasy bounty hunter who had called you over, your exposed hips swaying with more swagger than you actually possessed.

"Yes Honey?" You said in the fake charm you wore in the bar.

"Sweetheart, would you mind passing me a glass of your strongest?" The man winked as he spoke, the yellow and black spots of his lack of dental hygiene making you internally cringe. But you needed the credits and you didn't fancy another bar fight.

"Sure Honey, one half of our strongest is coming right up," you mused, seductively winking as you reached up the bar and grabbed the watered-down bottle of Correllian whiskey.

"Here'y'are Darlin, enjoy," winking as you walked away to serve the next customer. But you froze as you turned.

A metallic shine flashed from the far corners of the cantina, hidden.

Your head whipped around at the pace of stars but landed empty-handed. The stall was empty. You really had thought you'd gotten over the Mandalorian by now, and it had been a few weeks since you'd had any fleeting thoughts or wanton urges. But you could've sworn you saw the telltale reflection of Beskar under neon lights. You shook your head at the thought and proceeded with your next order.

"Pretty thing you are aren't ya?"

"Thanks, Daru, such a poet with your words," you giggled convincingly at the regular. Daru had always been kind but his intentions were always clear. He wanted your body. You'd entertained the thought of it as a means of therapy, but it was fleeting and you swore to yourself you wouldn't fall that low. Daru was a handsome man, yes - honey-rich blonde curls and hazy green eyes spoke something of a mystery, of excitement. But the thought of adventure didn't tickle you like it used to, instead it petrified you. That excitement was only fuelled by one, and that fuel was finite.

"Just for tonight sweetheart, I'll make it worth your while," he murmurs, his lips sealed around the edge of the pint glass but his eyes fixed on yours. You lifted an eyebrow at him out of surprise.

"I'm sure you would Daru, but I am tired and haven't eaten all day, I just want to go home." You admit, hoping that the honesty card would steer him clear of you.

"I'll cook ya something if you like?" He offers.

"Its ok Daru, thankyou," you smiled solemnly - he was in no state to cook let alone perform.

"Why is it pretty women like you always turn down good guys like us, hmm?" He spits. You turn from where you'd been walking away, the previous softness you faked for him now shifting into a cold glare, but he continued despite your silent warning, "do ya just want arseholes who fuck you and leave you in the dirt, who hurt you and take what they want without askin'?"

"Daru..." you warn, your hand slipping to hover over the karambit hidden under the ripped chiffon of your thigh.

"What? Are you gonna beat me up, princess? What is a pretty little thing like you gonna do to a fuckup of a man like me? I've hurt people sweetheart." He hisses, standing aggressively and squaring his shoulders to you from across the bar.

The cantina is silent, all eyes now trained on you.

You tried so, so hard not to lose your shit. And you nearly held it together until Daru spoke one too many words.

"You're just a pretty mouth and a fuckable cunt"

Before he had time to react, you pulled him by the collar of his shirt, his face now only moments away from yours.

"And I've killed people, Daru, I've killed people for a lot less," you whisper to just him. His eyes widen, his realisation that the glint in your eye wasn't that of fear, but of restraint. Daru shifted and pulled but it was no use. You grabbed his empty glass from the side of the bar table and smashed it across his temple, the glass shattering and cutting both his head and your palm. But this didn't phase you as you moved your hand to the back of his head and pushed his temple into the glassy shards littering the table. He screamed as the sandy shards embedded into his flesh, but his plight was short-lived as you plunged the sharpened Beskar which hid on your hip into the nape of his neck, pinning his now lifeless body to the table.

The blood poured like a fine rum.

"Out." You mutter, but it was loud enough for those inside to hear and within a few seconds the room was empty.

"He had it coming." Comes a familiar metallic voice.

"Excuse me?" You chide as you look up, but stalling in your tracks.

There he stood.

The plight of your nightmares for the last year.

Confident and swave.

Regrettably so.

16 notes · View notes

dindooku · 3 years

Text

this is a short chapter compared to the others as i am completely overwhelmed with uni work - but i’ll make sure that the next chapter is mega juicy xo

The hot water of the fresher was probably one of the best feelings you’d ever felt. The streaks of water melting your anxiety away, washing your pores of any doubt and residual fury; swirling into the drain and freeing your mind of their heavy burden. You felt lighter now. The soap Mando had given you soothed your joints, the homely pine smell comforting you. He’d made sure to give you some clean clothes before you showered, he wanted to make sure you felt as comfortable as possible.

tw- explicit - 18+, smut (not heavy)

word count: 5,627

You placed the clothes on your bed in your cabin. He explained that one of the pucks that Karga had given him was on a peaceful planet, suggesting that you could all spend some time there to relax a little. You were a bit shocked that he wanted to return to work so quickly, but the reality of life probably meant that he didn’t have a choice. The fact it was a quiet planet though was soothing, no more drama for a while. You needed a break from it all. Your peaceful revery was interrupted by the heat of your core, now slowly simmering. The shadow of his hand still pressed against your back, the warmth and desperation of his lips pressed to yours as he made his intentions towards you very clear in the hull of his ship. You closed your eyes, envisioning that moment in the darkness, that sweet moment where time slowed and your only focus was him. His heavy heat pressed against your hip, slowly rocking in time with his touch, with your touch, your breathing.

_____

A couple days had passed and you found yourself falling into the same mental conversation, now only a few hours away from your destination. You had decided to take a shower to try and pass the time. Turning the water as hot as you could manage, you stood, stewing. This was your release for you. Sure, the ship was big and you had your own cubby, but Mando’s presence was simply overpowering and you never felt like you had privacy; like he was somehow watching you and judging everything you did, like he knew how affected your were by him. He’s found a way to wind you up. Two nights now you’ve found that you’ve had to give into your cravings to release the overbearing pressure of your core. You’d find that even just one thought sent you down a rabbit hole, one you couldn’t escape without touching yourself. The way he spoke, how he’d commanded you, and how you’d just do it. Normally you hate being told what to do, but weirdly you found yourself craving his dominance, his commands. You wanted him to take control of you.

There hadn’t been any conversation about what had happened back on Nevarro, and despite your prominent feelings towards the Mandalorian, you were glad that nothing had been said. You didn’t even know how to even approach the situation in your head let alone in person; the thought of it always sent you giddy at the thought of his angsty touch…you knew if he even brought it up you would not be able to function. So, you took yourself to the shower every time you felt overwhelmed by the manifested rolling camera-film of his body against yours blurring your mind, your consciousness. He was simply intoxicating. The shower was your private space - you knew he wouldn’t be watching or listening to you here, and so, in the shower, hands trailing, you could truly relax and find your release.

Afterwards, the water trialing over your hypersensitive skin, you level with yourself. There’s definitely no hiding it, there’s obviously something brewing, something that you can’t necessarily control. You’ve never felt this way before, and it scared you, this unnameable feeling.

He’d been avoiding you at times you thought, but others he would occasionally graze your hand with his when passing you something for the Child. Or when your were preparing meals, he’d slip behind you to grab something, his hand resting on your waist. Every moment you picked up on, his touch holding you, slowing time and making you reel at each moment. You just hope that the feelings weren’t one sided. He’d given signs, right? That moment on Nevarro was real… right? He’s either been deliberately teasing you or he’s just completely and utterly oblivious…or he regrets what happened. You shut that thought away as soon as it rears its ugly head, you don’t want to go there…but as every day passes it makes its unwelcome presence more obvious.

You turn the shower off to stop your mind from wandering. This was dangerous.

You stepped out the shower, grabbing the towel he’d given you before. Tipping your head upside down, you shake it against your head, trying to briefly dry your hair before wrapping yourself in the towel. You looked around for your clothes. Dammit, you’d left them in your cabin. Making sure the towel was secure you opened the fresher door, hair still dripping as you stepped into the hull. The lights had been dimmed, he must’ve put the Kid to sleep, trying to catch as many hours as he could before you stopped at the first Quarry.

Turning around to close the door, you jump.

He’s just standing there; no armour, just his helmet and underclothes. Slowly you turn your head to look at him, trying to play it off that he didn’t scare the living daylights out of you. You stare back at him, forming a smile almost in an automatic self defence. You hoped he couldn’t hear what you were doing in the shower… you were sure you’d kept quiet, taking special care not to make any noise. You’d even bitten your wrist to muffle any moans that may have slipped out.

He was casually leaning up against the ladder, one hand still holding on. It's like he was frozen in time, like you were looking in from another dimension. The moment was odd, the air thick. You weren’t trying to make it weird but somehow with every breath you took, your throat tightened, heart quickened and the space in the hull shifted. You decided to break the stifling silence.

“Din,” you say politely, still holding his glare.

Silence.

Okay this is a bit worrying now…”Hey, Di—,”

“Yeah, sorry, I ugh… I…” He drifts from his sentence, the hull instantly shifting back into the awkward silence of before.

“Do you need something?” You ask. Maybe he needed something from the fresher and you were in the way? His unease wasn’t something you’d really seen before. Something was bothering him. He’s never been strong with words but he always made sure that when he did speak he wouldn’t stutter or show any signs of heat. Trying not to assume the obvious you reasoned that he just needs to use the fresher and you’re being the awkward one, Yes, he’s just being polite. You shift out of the way, back turning to his as you walk towards your cabin.

“Stop,” His voice stern, low. It freezes you in your tracks. Okay. “Come here,” He didn’t have to tell you twice. Slowly you walked over towards him, eyes not leaving the floor. You’re now stood in front of him. The warmth of the night-lights in the ship blessed your shoulders in a golden glow, accentuating your features beautifully. The towel was tightly wrapped around your chest, held in place by the corner being tucked under your arm. However, your collarbone and neck were out in the open, poetically emphasised by your hair. You hadn’t completely dried your hair before leaving, so it didn’t take long for small droplets to drop to your skin; graciously falling, skating over your now prickled flesh; it was like the tension in the air had electrified you - all of your senses were on high alert but the only thing you could focus on was the rhythmic rise and fall of the Mandalorian's chest. It was trance-like. You daren’t look up, the stare would be too much. “Drop it,” What?

“Din, I don-” you chime sweetly, but you’re cut short.

“The towel, drop it,” Your breath hitched, your body tensed. Is he really asking you to do this or are you in some weird dream? His command sent an instant pulse to your sensitive core. Your skin was now a blushed red, you couldn’t even hide it anymore. Your feet were fidgeting, fingers pulling at the rough fabric that grazed your thighs. Was this really happening? “Don’t make me ask again.”

And that was what did it for you. He really was on a mission. His cocky attitude emanated his influence on you. Even though he adorned a Beskar helm you could feel his eyes wander your body. You would do anything to see his face, be able to read what he was thinking, feeling. Your mind flicked back to Nevarro, his body pressed to yours, his hard arousal pressing into you. Your mind decided to torture you in this moment, conjuring explicit images of Din’s naked body. His hand stroking his thick length, moaning your name to his pleasure. Your face warmed to a hot blaze, mirroring the heat that had settled deep in your core. Only a few moments had passed and you were already ready for him, your body preparing for what you sought after most.

As you went to release the towel, a cry cuts through the tension like a knife. The Kid couldn’t have chosen a worse moment if he tried.

The agitated gruff was plain. He didn’t care if you knew his frustrations, the wall of secrecy he’d built was now kicked down and the Child’s cries had just stopped him from walking through. His fists clenched at his side, the sound of leather twisting pricked goosebumps along your skin and contrived a hitched breathe.

Keeping your head down, you mutter, “You should probably see if he’s ok…” The kid hadn’t completely drifted off, his cries were urgent. Maybe he just missed his Dad. Din doesn’t say anything, he just turns and walks back over to his cabin, the cries breaking through the metal door that separated it from the hull. His absence released you from his transfixion, finally allowing you to begin to absorb the last few moments. You needed to get away, you couldn’t breathe, the weight of what had happened was clamping down on your chest. You scrambled into your cabin, closing the door as quick as you could behind you. You leaned back against the door, the back of your head titling up towards the ceiling. What… just… happened?

The cries eventually die down and the ship is plunged back into silence. You’ve changed and now you are lying in bed, facing the wall.

“Drop it,” fogs your mind, blocking any other thoughts from touching the surface. His attitude over the last few days now made sense. The way he’d been avoiding you, not engaging in much conversation at all now made sense; he was waiting for a moment like that to make his move, to finally catch you alone, vulnerable.

At least now you know your feelings aren’t one sided.

____

The ship lands gracefully into an open pit of forestry. Walking out once he’d lowered the ramp you could tell you were in some sort of natural clearing. The front of the ship was facing towards an open field of thick, green grass. Surrounding the ship like a cauldron were tall, dense trees and moss. You guessed you’d landed just on the edge of a forest. It was cosy, quiet. It felt like you were the first to lay your eyes upon it and the natural beauty of it all was soothing to the soul.

Din had said that there was a bounty near here but and odds of them being a difficult one were low, they were just a bail jumper. He went on to explain that often when they’re on planets like this they were an easy pickup - they would very rarely fight back. This calmed you a little, knowing that you wouldn’t have to deal with an unnecessary level of violence, and that the both of you would come away unscathed. You were tired of fighting for the time being.

___

You knew you’d be leaving soon so you decided now would be a good time to suit up.

You’d just finished putting on your thigh holster as Din walked into the hull. You turned your head to smile at him, greeting him silently. Turning back to the weapons locker, you went to grab the arms holster.

“What are you doing?” He asks, striding over to you. Before yo can react he’s grabbing the arm holster from you and pressing it back into the locker, closing the locker doors by fiddling with his vembrace. This confuses you so you let your frustrations known.

“Im getting ready — what do you think you’re doing?” You curt back, he’s being quite rude, you’re not going to let him trample all over you.

“You’re staying here,” he replies, bending slightly, gesturing for you to take off the thigh holster. Why are you staying here? You’re completely qualified for this, he even said so himself back when you first met! He’d be damned if you’re just going to sit on this ship, locked away in exile because he’s in an angsty strop.

“No, I’m not, I’m coming with you,” you command. You’re not a pushover. He can use his domineering charm all he likes, you’re going with him. Maintaining your eye contact with him, you press the button that opens the weapons locker. You’re seething now. You reach in to grab the two knives he gifted you, your knives.

“Don’t test me,” he hisses. His hand shot out, encasing your whole wrist with his vice grip. It hurt, this is a contact he’s not used on you before. He’s been forceful, yes, but never maliciously, just in a way to express his concern or even in a playful manner. This however was new, frightening. He was scaring you. You didn’t realise you’d frozen until the slam of the locker doors shut and he’d turned to walk away. You were shaking now, but not like you would if you were cold, no, you were shaking with agitation, anger, hurt. You wanted to reply, to argue with him, but he’d truly rocked you. And in that moment you questioned yourself. You thought you knew this man, you thought you could trust him and that he would only ever protect you and have your interests at heart. He’d bent over backwards to rescue you, to look after you. But what he’d just done exposed a whole different side to him, your trust in him shattered. You’d felt comfortable that this man would never lay a hand on you, but now you’re not so sure.

___

He made sure to grab some firewood and set up a small camp just in-front of the ship. You knew he’d be gone for a bit as he’d made sure you both had dinner and breakfast sorted. Grabbing a couple empty crates from the hull you set them down near the fire. The kid’s cot was next to you as you warmed up his soup in the cooking pot.

Mando was inside the ship gathering whatever supplies he needed for the job. He’d grabbed a couple protein bars, a metal bottle full of water and then obviously his weapons. He didn’t bother with the long rifle this time, only sporting his blasters and a combat knife. He was confident this would go just as planned.

He hadn’t spoken to you since the shower incident, and you were kinda glad he hadn't. It was awkward. Once the shock of it all had worn away the situation dawned on you. How were you going to broach a conversation now? On Nevarro it was sweet. He was jokey and loose, but for some reason he’s now tense and closed off from you. You strip your mind in search of anything that you could’ve done to antagonise him, but there was nothing. His behaviour was completely out of the blue. And now, with his feelings splayed across the table, it was your turn to make the move. Maybe its best if I just act like it didn’t happen…he probably regrets it and wishes it never happened… You conclude your thoughts and decide to just keep hush. He doesn’t want to talk about it, so you won’t. Simple.

It was starting to get dark now, the fire pit illuminating the camp in a soft yellow glow as purples and blues faded into the dark of night. Mando had finished polishing his armour and went back into the ship to make sure he had everything he needed. Once back out he handed you a comlink. You look up at him.

“In case there’s any trouble” he says blankly. He didn’t sound worried, and you guessed it was because he knew that if anyone did try anything they’d be dead before the realised their mistake. You didn’t wear the belt he’d given you but the thigh holster remained with one of the combat knives he’d originally given you. You took it as a silent gift, it was sweet.

“I think we'll be just fine, won’t we” you both look down at the Kid, whose practically face first in his bowl of soup. He must’ve been hungry and the fresh warmth of the soup was a new favourite of his. Sensing your look, he turns his head up to the both of you.

“Eh” He agrees before swiftly returning to his supper. You place the com link in your back pocket, hoping that you won’t actually have to use it.

“I won’t be long, close the hatch before you go to bed.” And with that he’s striding off into the forest, not looking back.

_______

A few hours had passed and now you were sunk into complete darkness, the dying embers of the fire barely lighting the camp. The kids head had dipped a couple times as he dozed, and realising he was knackered you tucked him into his cot. Kicking out the embers you walked back into the ship, closing the ramp behind you. You’d brought the kid into your cabin this time. It just made more sense to have him with you instead of on the other side of the ship, it meant that if there were any problems you could deal with them straight away. You also just want the company as you lie in bed, listening to the wind roll of the chassis of the Razor Crest. The sound of the Kid sleeping was therapeutic, and before spud realised you’d drifted into a deep sleep.

_______

You heard a hiss, the intake of air dampened by the vocoder of his helmet. The hull was dark but the lights were bright enough to accentuate your features, the soft yellowy-red draping a sultry curtain over your features. Your nipples perked at the cold, the skin around them prickling into goosebumps. The lines of your stomach were long but defined. The years of training had built a strong frame, but the feminine features still remained. The sleek lines leading from your upper chest right down to your lower abdomen, cinching at your waist. Scars rippled your skin, some hidden by the light. Others, more pertinent injuries sitting like shards of glass, reflecting off your now tender body. At least the lights were helping to hide the hot flush of anxiety that had swept you, little twitches of anticipation making random muscles jump.

You jump awake, wet from sweat. You open your eyes only to be met with blinding darkness. You couldn’t see in front of you even if you tried. You could still hear the kid fast asleep, so you relaxed, lying back down onto your bed, now trying to control your breathing. The dream felt real, like you were actually there. You didn’t want to leave it, the feeling was electrifying. Time had slowed and you were stuck in that moment. You didn’t mind though, being stuck in a moment with the Mandalorian wasn’t too bad. At least your body thought so, now that it had made it’s arousal very, very clear.

Your legs were damp but with a different feeling. You felt flirty, like you’d just been caught doing something forbidden, but deep down you didn’t mind, in fact, you were incredibly turned on right now. You glanced over at the Kid, your vision now adjusted to the darkness. You get up and lightly push his cot away until he’s near the corner, now facing away from you. This was wrong. But you couldn’t help it, the pent up arousal you were drenched in was suffocating. Sliding back into bed you let your hand drift, and your mind experiment.

Your right hand slowly slid down your midline, you were trying to picture them as his; heavier, rougher. Your other hand moved to grab your left breast, lightly massaging it and then playfully pinching your nipple. You shuddered and let out a small moan. Mando wasn’t here, and the kid was knocked out… you could have a little fun.

You were surprised at how wet you were, the dream had obviously been playing with your body for some time, because as you lightly pressed against your clit the sensation made your hips buck. Okay, you were really, really turned on. You liked Mando, but your body now confirms just how much you like him, and you can’t even deny it. You give into your temptations and slowly begin circling your fingers over your core. Small moans escaped your lips as you imagines your hands were his, that his body was looming over yours, whispering in your ear. ‘You’re fucking soaking. Is this how wet you get when your moan my name at night? Hmm?’ Another moan leaves your throat, this one strained now as you’re edging closer to your release.

“Having fun?” A digital voice booms from your back pocket.

You can’t believe it, you really. Cannot. Believe it.

“Ugh… hi, Mando… I’m sorry… It’s not what you think it is” You blurt out into the com link you’d grabbed from your pocket. You’re cursing yourself inside. How can you be so stupid! And your reply, it wasn’t even believable. So so stupid.

“Is it not…? Shame” the cockiness roasted your skin. He knew. Shit. How were you going to drag yourself out of this. He’s teasing you now. How can he still wind you up when he’s literally tens of kilometres away?! “Don’t stop. I was enjoying listening to you” he cuts again. He wants me to carry on? Am I still dreaming?

“I ugh… you what?” You stutter, trying to make sure you heard him correctly.

“You heard me, don’t stop.” He’s dead serious. And just like that his voice has grabbed you by the throat and is forcing you to do as he commands. You lie back, trying to calm your breathing as you set the com link next to your head, leaving your hands free. You close your eyes again, letting your hands drift back to where they were before. Instantly you let out a moan at the pressure against your clit. The bundle of nerves was now throbbing, his words were practically nudging them for you. A tight breathe leaves the com link, and the faint sounds of a zipper slip through.

“Are you-” you go to ask but you’re cut off.

“You’re lucky I’m not there right now because I’d… I’d be making sure you knew how disappointed I am in you. You waited for me to…fuck…you waited for me to leave before you made yourself cum.” That hit something deep within your core and only made the pressure at your core twist tighter. He was definitely getting off to this as well. The thought of it sent you mad, you’re now reaching for the tipping point of your release, your fingers pressing harder now.

“I had a dream…” you can’t hold back the strained moan “ A dream that you’d undressed me, that you were going to-” you can’t even finish the sentence, you’re so incredibly wound and tense all rationality had left you.

“fuck, you… I…” he’s just as wound up as you. Are you making this fierce Mandalorian choke? The power that fills your veins makes you grin from ear to ear. Knowing you have this effect on him floods your inner thighs. “You’re gonna cum for me when I—when I tell you too, okay?” You can hear his quickened breath, he was close too. The dominance he was displaying even from miles away had you reeling, and you were a little impatient, wanting him to give you your release.

“Yes… please, please” you say through ushered moans, you weren’t sure how much longer you could take this.

“Yes what?” He growls and it send every one of your hairs on end.

“Yes, Sir…please” You’re practically begging him now, you want to cum so bad. The arousal has made every single muscle tense, you’re wound like a dam waiting to burst.

“Good girl…” He pauses. You’re now pretty much mentally crying. Oh you need this release and you need it now. His teasing is going to send you awol.

“Cum” The words couldn’t be sweeter and you press down in just the right spot. Your body reels and your mind spirals, the shattering gasps and moans are now lining the air with filth. That felt good, oh so good. You can hear the distance slur of swearing and heavy grunts from the vocoder, blurred between the dark of the cabin and the thick of your lust. After what seemed like a lifetime your senses returned to normal and you could breath comfortably now. Your body slack, pulsing still as the pleasure courses your veins. If he can make you feel this good without even being here, how would it feel when he's with you..?

“How are you feeling?” Whispering into the com-link, your eyes still closed.

“Amazing, Meshl’a” He sighs through the com-link, his satisfaction like music to your ears. “I don’t need to ask you how you’re feeling” This time you can hear a chuckle, and it makes you giggle too. “Get some sleep, I’ll be back before you wake up” He says, and then the red light on the com link dims, and you drop back into a deep sleep.

_____

The sound of physical struggle wake you from your sleep and you instantly jump into action. Grabbing your discarded clothes, you practically fall around your room in an effort to get yourself dressed so you can sort out whatever is going on in the hull of this ship.

“I thought Mandalorian’s were meant to be tough! What the fuck do you call thi—,” the voice cuts off when you exit your room in only your combat trousers and a loose tunic, “well, Mando, I didn’t know you were such a collector of fine art,” the bounty grits. It was a Twi’lek, similar to that of the one from the prison freighter, except this guy was green, and certainly a lot bigger. His face twisted into a sadistic grin as he turned to face you, clearly eyeing you up as if you were his.

“Don’t even try it,” Mando warns, stepping aggressively towards the bounty. But before he has time to cuff him, you’re doing his job for him. You run at him, jumping and grabbing him at the top of his shoulders, using the momentum to carry and pivot you as you wrap the inside of your thighs around his neck. You squeeze hard, but follow through on the rotation, completing a complete 360 swivel around his neck before twisting forward, clamping his neck especially hard with your thighs as you bring him down. Before he falls, you release your thighs from his neck and wrap his neck in the crook of your right arm, using your bodyweight and the velocity of his fall to bring him tumbling, quite ungraciously onto the hard durasteel of the hull. He lets out a pained gasp as the air leaves his lungs, and you quickly take advantage of his struggle by grabbing the cuffs from Din’s hands and securing them over the bounty’s.

You take a second to breathe before patting the bounty on the shoulder, “I could’ve snapped your neck if I wanted to, but I have a feeling you’d be worth less dead,” you say, before standing up and leaving the rest up to Din. The Mandalorian just stares at you as you walk to the fresher, closing the door behind you to start your morning routine.

“You gonna let her stand you up like tha—,” the bounty wheezes, but Din cuts his sentence short.

“Shut it, or I might finish what she started, Get up.” And with that Din grabs the Bounty by the shoulder and hauls him into the carbonite freezer.

_____

Nothing is said between the two of you until the early afternoon. The events from last night hung heavy in the air, and neither of you were brave enough to bring it up. You’d found it quite frustrating that he’d not mentioned anything, considering he was so eager to make you…well… but then again you were also quite thankful for the silence because if he started a conversation, you weren’t quite sure what you’d say, what you should say. It was incredible, yes… the way he had complete and utter control over your body even though he was 10’s of miles away made it all that more exhilarating, but this mornings encounter only solidified your worst fears. You were both dangerous people to be around — Din was a Bounty hunter, a fucking Mandalorian, one of the most feared and ruthless in the Galaxy. His job was nothing but violence and aggression. What made you think he had time for someone like you? You’d been through hell together, that’s for sure…but that doesn’t mean you owe each other anything.

You wanted to stay with him, to work with him and be his partner, but something about the way he’s acted just makes you second guess whether he feels the same way. If he’s expecting you to just sit tight and be bed bound to the Razor Crest, he’s got another thing coming. This morning certainly proved you can handle yourself, so why is he hesitating now? Maybe if you could work on a bounty together, you could prove you’d work best as a team, and he’d let you stay around and actually make use of your skills — after all you’re pretty sure you could beat him in one on one combat if you really tried. So, you decided to break the ice and broach the subject.

“Where’s the next bounty?” You ask, swirling your cup of caf and staring into the little whirlpool forming. Din pauses, gripping the polishing cloth he was using on his Amban rifle. You hear the telltale sign of frustration as he lets out a sigh.

“Why do you want to know?” He counters, resuming the polishing after he’s finished talking.

“Just curious…” you mutter, taking a quick sip of your drink in an effort to look casual.

“Curious…yeah,” He mumbles, rubbing a little harder on a particularly scratched spot on the barrel of the blaster, “You’re not coming with me,” he finishes.

“Why not?” You’re not dancing around the bush now, you just want him to cut the crap and be honest with you.

“Its dangerous. You’ll get hurt,” he says, not bothering to look up and face you. This man really did know how to wind you up sometimes.

“Yeah… cause by the looks of things you definitely weren’t in danger this morning,” you rasp, taking another swig from your caf in order to quell your frustration.

“You didn’t give me the chance to cuff him,” he snarls, pausing once again from polishing to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down.

“He was going to lunge at me, and anyway, you were taking too long, it was pissing me off,” you chuckled back, even though you weren’t finding it funny at all — you knew this was winding him up and the fact that he just couldn’t bring himself to accept you helped was rubbing you up the wrong way. You were a trained assassin for fucks sake, why isn’t he using your expertise, your experience to his advantage? But, like always, Din remains quite, hiding behind the security of his helmet. Of course he’d just shut you out — that’s what he did to anyone, why would he do anything else with you? “Pathetic,” you mutter, and before he can even think of a reply you’ve put your empty caf cup on the floor and you’re striding your way back into your room, locking the door as soon as you’re inside.

You instantly strip yourself off your clothes and slide on the stupidly large tunic Din had given you and you practically throw yourself into bed, rolling over to face the wall. You clutched the comforter tightly to your body as you buried your head into the pillow, willing yourself just to fall asleep and forget everything that had happened in the last 24hours.

Tomorrow would be a better day. Tomorrow you could just forget everything that’s happened. Tomorrow, you would find a way off of this ship. If Din didn’t want you, then you wouldn’t stay. It was decided.

#the mandalorian #din djarin #star wars #din djarin fanfiction #mandalorian fanfic #din needs a hug #angry din #mando x reader #mando x you #baby yoda #mando.exe has stopped working #mando smut #smut

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dindooku · 3 years

Text

ao3 - loulou1810

with xi’an locked away, you find yourself back with your prison pal. one thing leads to another and now you’re admitting your deepest, darkest secret

tw - minimal violence, suggestive themes

word count: 3,174

———————

Following your gut, you end up meeting back up with your prison pal. The red light saturating the hallway in some sort of pathetic fallacy, the mood lighting fit the situation you both found yourselves in perfectly. Exchanging a silent acknowledgement to one another, you walk to him. His gaze commanding you without words.

You walked side by side, following his lead on when to turn. He occasionally brushed your shoulder when prompting you to take a right or left down a new corridor. The alarm was drilling your mind into a rhythm, one that only deepened your focus with each note. He strode to his end destination with you at his side, dominance drumming each time his boots hit the floor.

You follow him as he steps right into the corridor. Halfway up a ladder is the other Twi’lek you saw on the security cameras in the control room. A picture glances your mind, the body of the human guard strewn on the floor, a shadow of crimson red surrounding their neck. You assumed that the female Twi had caused this injury due to the sharp cut that lacerated his neck. The thought that that could have been you didn’t go amiss.

Turning to face both of you they stepped off the ladder, letting out a low tonal remark, “You killed the others” His eyes glowered at the Beskar helmet next to you. Not getting any reaction, their eyes drift to you, piercing. You knew then that he’d already sized you up, eyes undressing your body with obvious intent, it was shameless. You’d seen those eyes hundreds of times…you hated being a woman sometimes, you’d grown to know through experience that many people only ever wanted one thing, and they’d never even try to hide it. When working you’d always tried to make the best of that situation. This meant that occasionally if the moment was right, you’d ensure that they never looked upon you the same way again, or anyone else for that matter.

“They got what they deserved” the vocoder returned. You glance up, there was no sentiment or anger laced in this return; it was stern, assertive. Had he killed them? The tonality of it had you silently reeling in the depths of your stomach. You didn’t realise you were staring into the Beskar side profile until a snarl left the Twi’lek’s lips, deadpanning your accomplice, “You kill me, you don’t get your money”. The tension is palpable, unnerving. You feel like the walking armoury next to you is buzzing, the contemplation simmering like blind fury.

“Whatever Ran promised, I'll make sure you get it, and more. Come on, Mando.”

Mando, so that's his name…

“Be reasonable. Hm? You were hired to do a job, right? So do it. Isn't that your code? Aren't you a man of honour?”

That obviously seemed to hit a nerve with Mando, his stance shifting slightly. You could sense the trepidation in his aura. This man has some serious relaxing to do…

______

With the Twi’lek cuffed and what you assumed to be the remnants of a piloting droid which Mando had dealt with earlier (rather harshly but you could understand from what you’d pieced together), Mando piloted the ship away from the Transporter, booting into hyperspace.

You sat facing the Twi’lek in the cargo hold of the ship. His head was donned to the ground, hands cuffed in front of him. Your stare didn’t leave his body, partly due to the obvious risk of mutiny, and the other in detached thought over what had just happened in the last 30 minutes.

‘Do it’ replays in your head like an old Holotape. Considering you were completely unarmed, famished from not eating in what seemed like days and noticeably stiff from the meditative position you’d strained yourself in before the break-in, you’d fought pretty well. You’d made a stupid mistake, allowing the female Twi’ to get a hook to your left cheek, the bruise now starting to throb a little. But that's not why you’re simmering, brooding. No, it's that voice that told you to do it, the temptation to finish her, like that. To quench that thirst you hadn’t faced for over a year now. The fact that you even let that side come out, to even grace you during that moment, that's what you’re fretting over. You’d done it before, countless times. But that was different, it was your job. You don’t have any duty now…This you’d have to fix, you’re not letting yourself go back, not after the pain it took to get out.

“Did you kill her?” The Twi’ is now looking at you, breaking your meditative stare.

“No” You reply with resignation, not wanting him to pry.

“She must’ve put up a fight, held you to your money” He cuts back, eyes shifting to the yellowing bruise forming on your face. You’d had enough of this guy already and it’d barely been 5 minutes. You could assume from the similar nature of their anatomy and his obvious concern that they were related, maybe brother and sister? Hmm, ok, if he’s going to be like that…

“If she put her money where her mouth is she might’ve given me a run for mine” The venom in your words hitting exactly where you wanted them to - obviously angering the Twi, who then lurched towards you, hands wrenching for your throat.

A hand caught his.

You peered up, gazing at the Beskar side profile again, projecting his domineering ambience through the empty space surrounding all of you. Before you could react, Mando has brought the Twi’s hands back into their own face with force, hard enough to cut the lip and draw blood. You blush a little at the gesture. You didn’t know if Mando was doing that for you or out of retaliation at his own complicated situation, but either way, it was appreciated. The Twi is swiftly bound to the hull with a metal rope, wincing as Mando tightens it a bit too much past comfort. A chuckle barely dissipates from Mando as he yanks the knot, He obviously found the fun in this too…

Once done, he stands and turns to face you, the Beskar helm studying the bruise which had started to mottle your cheek, or at least you think that's why he’s looking… you can’t tell with his face hidden behind that visor. Yes, you could normally read peoples energies pretty well, so reading faces wasn’t something you depended on solely for judging situations, but something about him just made it impossible to know what they were truly thinking, feeling. This intrigued you, more than it should have and soon the stare becomes awkward as you exit that reverie. He broads his shoulders again, almost squaring up to you until his head is nodding to the ladder of the cockpit. You get the hint. You follow behind him up to the cockpit.

He gestures to the co-pilot seat in the right-hand corner as he sits in the pilot seat at the front, his back to you. You take the seat as asked, admiring the little streaks of light reflecting off the Durasteel. Hyperspace. You’d missed this, the stars and planets manipulating into sharp daggers that fly past the Transparasteel in-front of you. The beautiful score of ocean blue and dappling purple slicing the endless black abyss of space. It was mesmerising to watch, hypnotising you into deep thought. You’d never really been free, always under someone's tether or command, but you’d travelled, by-maker you’d travelled; the nature of your past job demanded you to. But that was different, you were held in what felt like a cage, no windows or external life, keeping you focused, but torturing you with your own cruel mind. That version of you was controlled, unwilled, contained. This though, the feeling of now escaping with no plan or contract, the free will to use your mind with no hidden duty… it fills your chest; choking you on the freedom of space which you could now call your own.

A shuffle catches your dream and pulls you back from wherever you were, and a little green ear pokes out from the rummaging. Wait, a what?! Is that a… and to answer your question, Mando turns in his chair to you, now completely revealing the creature sat in his lap.

“He’s the Child”.

Oh right, yeah, a child…sure. The confusion in your face was obvious despite you trying to be as polite as possible, so Mando interjects, “He’s not my Child, but, well….” He stutters on his own words, trying to think of the best way to explain this odd situation, “I rescued him, and he rescued me. I look after him now, as my own”

“Oh, well… nice to meet you, Child” you retort back, a genuine smile breaking onto your face as the big, chocolate brown eyes don yours. He was a cute little thing, green and slightly wrinkly on the top of his head, which sprouted a few grey hairs. By Maker he had big ears, they protruded from his head like pyramids, definitely a bit much for his little stature. You’d never seen anything like it, and yet he was adorable. You already loved this kid, and now you know why Mando was so set on getting back here. You reach out a finger to say introduce yourself in a sort of handshake, the Child reciprocating.

The touch was short, sweet. You felt a sense of calmness wave over you, understanding. It was soothing, this little gremlin of sorts was wise beyond your years, you could feel it. Then you feel a burning heat glaring into you. You know what it is. He’s staring at you. He's not even bothering to hide it, it was shameless.

The stare holds you in place. You know he’s summing something up, trying to justify something. What though? You can’t read him, no matter how hard you try, his emotions in-penetrable. The stare gets you a bit flustered, you’re now fidgeting in your seat, still trying to pretend that your mind is on the child and not him. The words of the Twi female flash your mind “…did he charm you?” No, no he didn’t…did he? Is he distracting you…? ‘Don’t be stupid’ you internally hiss to yourself. You’ve barely known this person, you’ve exchanged like 5 words and you’re already preening for him? Don't be so foolish! Gods, it's been years since anything but control yourself, damn.

“You can look after him” Wait, what?

“Uhhh, what do you mean 'look after him'? I’ve got places to go, I’m not a mother by your demand!” You punch back. How dare he? Who does he think he is, demanding you look after his child? Yes, you helped each other out back there but this is taking his expectations a bit too far.

“A life huh? What kind of life where you living to get you locked up on that transporter? Sounds great”. The added sarcasm wasn’t filtered… the audacity. He’s just taking this to a whole new level. You’d kept things respectful, damn it, you almost thought that you’d gained an ally, a possible friend, but now you know you definitely judged that book wrong.

“Yeah, thought so. Look after the kid while I take care of Quin” He got up and left without hesitation, the Child now sat on the pilot's seat oogling at your dropped jaw.

___

The ship eased into the spaceport, dropping once it was completely inside.

“Stay here with the kid, don’t come out. I’ll be back in a minute”

You stayed silent. You didn’t even look at the man as he left, stepping down the ladder. You were angry, so angry. You’d been brooding for hours in hyperspace, even after he’d returned and put the Child to sleep in his makeshift cot. You knew he knew you were angry, and you could sense his silent frustration too - he wreaked of it, this he couldn’t filter from you. You were angry for different reasons though. His probably from his minor prison stint, but yours because of the fact he was right, and you hated to admit it. You really had no life to go to, no home, nowhere, no one. You were alone, completely and utterly. Heck, you’d go back to Lori if it wasn’t for the fact that he admonished you from ever returning. That stung, the wound still fresh after all this time. You’d only done what he’d taught you, to the T.

Lori took you in from a young age. You know he wasn’t your dad, you couldn’t remember your Dad actually, or your Mother. They were just ghosts to you, empty shadows of something that should’ve been, or at least thats what you’d been told. They’d been murdered, this was all you could make out from Lori’s hints over time; for what though? You’d never know. But Lori never let you dwell on this, he always said, “Holding onto feelings of beings that were never yours will get you nowhere. Focus on the now, what you feel in the present. Your emotions are your greatest weakness” He was right. You were too emotional for your own good. You’d always indulge in your feelings. You thought that listening to them was the right thing to do, but how wrong you were. Lori took special care to demonstrate how emotion was your enemy, how you’d only end up hurt. He tried to take away your ability to feel and you used to hate him for that. Now though… you kinda wished he had taken it and that you’d listened.

You’re snapped back into the present by the sounds of the ramp motors whirring, closing the ship up, accompanied by light, hurried footsteps in the hull towards the ladder.

“Take the child, we need to go, now” He ordered, sternness lacing his voice even through the vocoder. He hands you the child and swivels the chair as he sits, punching a few buttons then launching out of the hanger.

“Take it easy!” You counter. Still mad, you mimic his sternness in an attempt to unnerve him; it was futile.

Then, just as he swings the hyperdrive arm forward, three x-wings jump out of hyperspace and dart past, almost taking the ships right side with them. And with that, you’re gone, the mosaic of hyperspace filling the cockpit once again. A few silent minutes pass. Mando is busy pressing buttons to things you wouldn’t have the faintest clue about. The swiftness obvious through hours of muscle memory. He knew this ship well, that was obvious in his composed manner as he set what you presumed were co-ordinates to his next destination.

“What was that about?” You probe, trying to cut the suffocating silence. Surely he must know something? X-wings don’t just pop up out of nowhere, especially three of them. It was blatantly something urgent… and then the thought hits you.

Were they tracking you?

Almost as if he could read your mind, he intercepted, head still facing forward, “When the crew reached the ship to get Quin we found the control terminal so we could open his cell. In there was a human guard. He stalled us… he was panicking. Xian killed him, in the process activating a tracking fob to alert the Republic of a break-in. I put it in Quin’s pocket before we left, hence the haste”

“Sly fox” you uttered back, slight playfulness interwoven in appreciation of his handling. That was good, a canny move. It even made you giggle a bit inside, Karma.

His head turned to yours from behind the pilot's seat, the ship now in autopilot.

“They got what they deserved” The words repeated from a few hours ago returning the shrewd nature of your earlier reply.

“True” You giggled your reply, the irony of it all a bit weird, but funny nonetheless. “So what’s the deal with you? Why’d they turn on you?” The question jumped from your mouth, a little too curious for his liking.

“Why’d you ask?” His reply short, cutting. Jeez, why’s he got to be so curt?

“Well… if I’m going to be looking after your child I spose' I should know why they decided to run on you, it was obviously for a reason?” That seemed fair enough you thought, a simple question, and honest too. You didn’t want to say yes to looking after this rando’s child if he was some crazy psycho… not that you had a choice.

“I put Quin in there, so they used me to get him out.”

“Ah” Is all you could muster. Not really much else you could say back to that, he’d obviously closed that channel of conversation. You weren’t usually much of a talker either, but that's because those that surrounded you would take advantage of what you said, who you were. If you opened up a conversation it was an easy gateway to your emotions, to manipulation. Lori had taught you it’s always best to keep your mouth shut. You learnt this the hard way, being a young woman in your line of work meant you met your fair share of remarks and snides. The discipline it took to not reply, to pipe up and retaliate was a skill hard-earned. You didn’t waste time thinking of the things people have done to you without your permission, your control. You wanted to hurt them, the temptation to do so was palpable, but you knew if you did, you’d be just as bad as them, maybe even worse. That’s what always confused you about your training at first, surely training to be a walking Grim-Reaper gave you a free pass to handing out death notes, but as your training progressed you quickly realised that murdering through retaliation would only drag you further down, scratching the itch but forming a new one in a place continually more difficult to reach.

“What's your story then?” The question cuts the fuzzy tether holding you to your memory, startling you.

“What?” You were so deep in thought you didn’t quite catch what he’d said.

“Why were you in there… what did you do?” The scepticism in his voice was only barely noticeable. You reasoned that it was because he’d stumbled across you locked up in a max security transporter, he must’ve pondered and thought you were a crazy psychopath…you’re not, right?

You hesitated, knowing there was no other way around this. He could just look you up on the Holocomputer, your name would be top of the list. And hell, you were in a max prison unit, so using petty crime wouldn’t cut it either. You’d have to tell him, be honest. That's the honourable thing to do, right? You just hoped that they’d understand and not retaliate too much…

“ I… I umm… I went Rogue” The words burnt as they slipped from your mouth, the stale truth bitter in the air.

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