Short Debts Make Long Friends - Chapter 19 (part 1)
Chapter 19: I Don't Need to See Your Face; I Just Need You to Help Me Pretend
This is the big leagues? you were wondering as you followed Mando down the stairs to meet the man himself. This wasn’t even your worst Black Friday, when some asshole decoupaged all the dressing rooms with Christmas-themed hentai and you had to explain to your very, very sheltered manager why the tentacles were wearing Santa hats.
But then Kaba happened, and everything surpassed all the Black Fridays, and your worst nightmares, too.
One minute, the porcine-faced Klatoonian was casually seated at his desk and weighing his options; the next, Mando had shoved you behind him and yelled, “Go!” over his shoulder.
This was your first chance to see the Darksaber in action, but you didn’t need to be told twice. As Kaba’s goons descended, you and D-5 had run for the exit, with full intention of booking it to the usual rendezvous point at the transit station.
You were halfway to the door when you heard it. You knew the sounds Mando made during a fight. Every grunt, every hiss and yelp, even the occasional curse that meant he’d been hurt.
You had never heard that sound from him before.
Autopilot clicked into gear, knocking self-doubt right out of the driver’s seat.
You bolted back the way you came, instantly zeroing in the source of Mando’s agonized cry as soon as you ducked through the transparent strips of curtain – the patch of scorched, glowing flesh on his leg that should have been really well-done CGI, except you knew better.
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Shattered
summary: When an anxious day gets the best of you, Din seeks to comfort you.
pairing: din djarin (the mandalorian) x reader
tags: depictions of anxiety, injuries (incl. blood), hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
rating: T
word count: 2.087k
main masterlist • din djarin masterlist
You ran to the viewport when you heard the roaring of the N-1’s engines above the cabin. The familiar starfighter was landing in its usual zone, not far from your isolated home. You exhaled in relief, though your heart continued to pound even as you made your way back to the kitchen.
The meal that was only halfway prepared remained abandoned on the counter, and your shaking hand took up a utensil to continue its half-hearted work. You forced yourself to blink a few times to refocus, but all you could see was the haunting image of the beady eyes you’d been trying to escape all day. You took another glance over your shoulder.
The door to the cabin opened and your head snapped up from the slice you were about to make. Din stepped inside with Grogu’s pod trailing behind him, his helmet tilting as he let the door slide closed behind him. “Hey, cyar’ika. Sorry if we scared you.” Din pointed towards the viewport you ran to before. “I was hoping you’d hear our approach in the N-1.”
“Oh!” You forced out a laugh from your tightened chest. “Yeah, yeah, I did. I just…” you lifted the knife in your hand, “you know, instincts.”
Din chuckled before he lifted his hands to his helmet to remove it. He set it on the table as he made his way over to you, though your gaze was fixed on the food you were preparing. “How was work?”
“It was good.” The lie slipped off your tongue easily, but there was no faking the smile you earned when Din set a hand on your back and kissed your head. “How was your galactic exploration?”
“Great. Grogu did well.” Din brushed his hand over your back as he answered. “We only went one system over.” He gestured to the closed-up pod. “He fell asleep on the way back.”
You gave your hands a rest and hoped Din wouldn’t notice the way they shook. Your gaze found his as you managed your best smile for him. “Sounds like a success.”
“It was.” Din returned a soft smile of his own. “But you were missed.” He took a deep yet gentle breath and glanced at Grogu’s pod. “I’m gonna take him to his room to rest, then I’ll get washed up for dinner.” Din’s thumb ran over your back. “Thank you.”
You nodded, unable to say anything else. Now that Din was at your side, you didn’t want him to leave. He made the move to step away and you grabbed his arm without thinking. Din’s head whipped towards you with his brow knit together in concern.
Before he could ask any questions, you lifted yourself high enough to kiss him, one of your trembling hands pressing against his cuirass for stability. When you pulled away, Din took your hand from his beskar and gave it a squeeze, smiling as he walked off with Grogu to bring him to his room.
You exhaled a shaky breath and set both hands on the counter. Your head hung low as you tried to catch up with your racing thoughts. You wished so badly that man had never shown up at the hangar, if only for your own peace of mind. Even if he hadn’t done anything other than watch you work on his ship, the grime of his stare was like a stain on your spirit.
You managed to compose yourself enough to continue making dinner, even giving Din another quick smile as he walked from Grogu’s bedroom to the one you two shared. Your thoughts, however, were as relentless as the movements of the blade in your hand. Each cut was a memory and a what-if tearing across your mind and threatening to leave you in merciless shreds.
It was getting harder to breathe at the idea of Din coming home to you missing, or even worse, him coming out of your bedroom to the sight of you injured or apprehended by the very same man who had been haunting you all day.
You finished your chopping and took a step away from the counter. Your trembling hand felt as if it was burning in the place where the man’s fingers had brushed your glove while he handed you his credits. You lifted it and saw nothing left behind, making you huff as you forced yourself to take a deep breath. You gave your hand a shake and reached for a plate to transfer the cut food.
That’s when you felt the phantom touch on your shoulder. It had caught you off guard, and your shaking hands were no help in trying to grab onto the plate that flew from your hands when you whipped your head around. You could only close your eyes and cringe when you heard the sound of the plate shattering on the counter, the broken shards scattering around you.
It was your own breaking point. The tears that welled up in your eyes were more from embarrassment than anything else. You bent down to collect the pieces from the floor first, keeping your back turned to your bedroom door.
Din’s footsteps were behind you in mere moments. “Are you okay?” His voice was strained with concern.
You kept your gaze fixed on the floor and somehow gained the faith to speak. “I’m sorry.” Your voice wavered, but you kept it as strong as you could. “I just…”
Out of habit, you tightened your fist to gain more resolve. The broken shards still in your hand cut your palm, causing you to gasp as you dropped them and stood back to your full height. Din set a hand on your shoulder to turn you towards him and used the other to take a gentle grasp on your hand, exposing your now-bleeding palm to him. You watched as his gaze rose from your wounded hand to your eyes, a knit forming in his brow as his hand rose to the side of your face.
After a moment of studying you and the tears in your eyes, Din set his hand on your back and eased you away from the kitchen. You passed the half-made meal and Din’s blaster still on the counter as Din took you inside your bedroom. He urged you to sit on the edge of your bed while he found his medpac.
You focused on Din to keep yourself from shattering more, noticing that he had since removed his beskar and part of his flight suit. It left him in his black tunic and his pants, with his suspenders still hanging at his sides. The sight was an endearing comfort to the storm within your mind and the stinging on your hand.
Din sat beside you and set the medpac on the bed. He held your hand and started his work on it, each movement as gentle as he could manage. He didn’t say a word and he didn’t have to. His silence was the only invitation you needed.
“There was a man at work,” you began, your voice quiet for fear of loosening the knots in your chest and throat. Din gave your hand a soft squeeze as both acknowledgement and encouragement. “A customer. He must’ve been looking for a layover or something, because all he wanted was work on his ship.”
Din’s voice mirrored your quieter tone in a soft rasp. “Did he go into town?”
You shook your head. “No.”
Din gave you a careful glance. “Did he stay on the ship?”
You shook your head again. You couldn’t speak anymore, and your silence prompted Din to halt his work on your hand as his eyes found yours. His jaw tightened before he spoke again.
“What did he do?”
You lowered your gaze to your hand in his. It wasn’t your fault, but the grime of what the man had done stuck to you in the worst way. “He watched me. The entire time I worked on the ship, he just… stared at me.”
Your lips trembled as you found the faith to look at Din again. His gaze was soft for you, but the fire that raged within its brown depths was evident.
“I didn’t know what to do.” You started to break, the knot coming loose and your breaths coming heavy. “I just, I kept thinking about the people who used to stare at us when we were on the run. I didn’t know if he just wanted to make sure I didn’t mess up or if he knew something more about me and about us. I was worried he would do something to me and you… you wouldn’t even know what happened.”
By the time you finished rambling, your tears had spilled over, leaving just a few trailing down your cheek. Din lifted the hand not holding your wounded one to brush them away with his fingertips. He remained almost achingly gentle, despite the anger he undoubtedly held within him.
“I really was just worried for nothing.” You huffed and used the sleeve of your tunic to blot your eyes. “I thought he was gonna follow me home or something, even though I saw him leave in his ship.” You shrugged, watching Din’s brow relax as he gave you a once-over. “I just got anxious.”
You exhaled a breath and waited for Din to respond. His thumb was absentmindedly running over the non-injured part of your hand as he composed his thoughts. When he spoke, his voice was calculated. “I can make sure you never have to see that man again. You give me his name and I’ll take it to Greef. He’ll never step foot on this planet or anywhere near you again.”
You started to tear up again, but this time in guilt. “But he didn’t do anything wrong.”
Din softened, trading his anger for comfort as he lifted his free hand to the side of your face. “He made you uncomfortable, cyar’ika.” Din added a nod for further reassurance. “That’s enough.”
You searched his gaze, and all you could see was honesty and sweet concern.
“If he made you uncomfortable, then it’s more than likely he’s done it before.” Din offered a small smile. “Your bravery in speaking up will help others.”
You returned his smile, the weight of the day finally starting to fall from your shoulders even as your tears remained. Your smile disappeared when you freed one more confession from your chest. “It made me feel so filthy, Din.”
Din wrapped his hand around the back of your head and urged it to rest upon his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” He kept you there for a long moment, his fingers brushing over your head to soothe you. When he spoke again, his head resting against your own, his words were even softer than before. “Would it help for you to wash up with me?”
You nodded, though you looked up at him from your place on his shoulder. “What about dinner?”
Din chuckled and ran his thumb over your hand. “I can finish making it once we’re done.”
You smiled and cupped the side of his face with your non-injured hand. “Thank you.” You pulled him towards you for a quick kiss.
When you pulled away, Din raised his brow. “Just one more thing.”
You raised your brow, an invitation for him to go on. Din faced you with severity, though he also maintained his softness.
“I’ll never let anything like that happen to you, no matter how far I am.” You already started to smile before Din went on. “And on the off chance it ever did, I would find out what happened, and I would bring you home safe and sound.” He nodded at you. “That’s a promise.”
Your smile widened. “I believe you.”
“Good.” Din had given you another kiss. “I love you too much to let anything happen to you.”
“I love you, too.” You lifted your head from Din’s shoulder and gestured to the refresher. “Now, about that shower…”
Din laughed and lifted your injured hand. “Once I finish with this, cyar’ika.”
You laughed with him, your shoulders lighter than ever before as Din once again proved just how well he can take care of you.
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Short Debts Make Long Friends - Chapter 19 (Part 2)
Chapter 19 - I Don't Need to See Your Face, I Just Need You to Help Me Pretend (Part 2)
The shower door is wide open, and around the edge of the beveled glass he finds you sitting huddled on the floor, fully dressed, arms wrapped around your knees, heedless of the cold water raining down over your head. You haven’t stopped staring into space, but he misses the vacant gaze because the sorrow he sees in your eyes is paralyzing. He did this.
You show no sign of noticing as he steps into the cramped confines of the shower, but slump into him the moment he sits down beside you, and clutch onto his arm with both hands as you rest your head on his pauldron.
“I keep seeing it,” you choke out.
No, I’m what you keep seeing, he amends silently. Darksaber held high, swinging down in a merciless descent and unfeelingly cleaving through a man’s body two times over.
“I wish I hadn’t seen it.” You’re speaking again, rambling, your words coming faster and faster. “But he was going to kill you. They all were, and I’m not sorry they’re dead, I’m not sorry any of them are dead, and I’m not sorry I helped, I’m glad.”
You lift your head to look up at him, lips trembling and slightly bluish from cold.
“Does that make me a monster?”
Oh, God, you actually mean it.
“Oh, cyare, no,” Din breathes, “No. You’re the farthest thing from.”
You don’t believe him. Droplets cling to your lashes and cheeks, but he cannot separate the water from the tears as you tell him the words he has been dreading since the day he found a remnant of the life you had left behind:
“I wish I was home.”
A lump rises in Din’s throat and swells to the point of pain, but he simply tucks you under his arm, bringing your head against his chest as he wraps you in.
“I know, mesh’la.”
His voice is steady, but inside he is breaking. With his other arm, he reaches up to twist the tap above your heads, and as the water changes from cold to warm, he holds you close and repeats, “I know.”
Short Debts Make Long Friends - An overeducated, underpaid millennial finally gets to go on her first adventure.
Same as last time, everyone who reblogs gets their own snippet! It's a good kind of pain...
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