I really appreciated the video Julien Solomita posted recently (an edited part of one of his Twitch streams) where he talked about online creators leaving the public eye. Specifically these bits really struck me: "I think it's hard for some people to imagine what a person goes through with years kind of compounded of doing something like that in such a public way. You see a little bit of it, right? Like you see videos, and you see posts, and you see some appearances and it's the tip of the iceberg, but not only are you not seeing the other things that happen that make that machine run and that make it all possible, but...you also aren't experiencing the toll that someone has to pay." "There's always a cost... I think what people are starting to realize when they see creators leave is what that cost looks like. For different people it is a different cost...but there's like...an overarching similarity with that cost. There's like a common denominator, which is like it's kind of part of your soul. You're kind of giving a part of yourself to make yourself available in content for the world, and after doing that for a long time it can sometimes, I think, feel like you've forgotten what it feels like to just be a person." It reminded me of a lot of things currently on my mind, including the post John Green made a while ago about what he gained and what he lost as a successful author and YouTuber. More and more I feel like the creative people I admire most all end up feeling this way, and it has me so conflicted and stuck. I used to think what would ultimately hold me back creatively would be fears that I'm not good enough, or that no one would care what I have to say or share, but that's not it. I mean, those are worries, sure, but they aren't enough to stop me. No, what stops me is wondering if I am good enough. If people would care about what I say or share. Because then I would have to pay that toll. Something equal to what I gained would be taken from me, and I would never be able to undo it. I would never stop being The Person Who Did That. I will have no choice but to live with all positives and negatives that unfurl as a result. I would have to continue to do it to maintain the income and the success. Parts of me would not be mine anymore, and what happens to them out in the world would be out of my control forever after. There's something much more terrifying and haunting in that potential outcome. I just still deeply do not know how to reconcile the desire to make a creative, meaningful impact on the world, and the desire to protect what matters to me. It doesn't feel like these should be the only two options. I wish there were more.

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

fuck w me

Selfshippers who ship with weird/unappealing characters. I love you. Like hell yeah you go get with Mr Crocker. Go get with lord faarquad

Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.

obsessed with this

not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing [what would happen between earth and the moon if the earth stopped spinning as illustrated by xkcd randall munroe]

AUTISM RULES.

maya angelou saying the funniest thing anyone has ever said about editing, which i can never let myself forget EVER AGAIN [x]

A former stray very happy to be inside

his smile and optimism…….gone………

Men are being very normal about the new Godzilla design

Expertise can't help you here.

teenage me and current me are both depressed directionless girls, the only difference is that current me started appreciating the beauty of the world and realized how good it is to be alive despite it all

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight