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thekyraalexandriablog · 3 years

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Kyra’s Top Albums of 2020 🎧

Despite a tragically hectic year, some of my favorite artists managed to release some phenomenal projects in 2020. Here are my top picks (in no particular order):

Girl Eats Sun—Hope Tala • R&B

Tala’s third EP is a picnic on a Spring evening—breezy and warm. I absolutely adored her first two projects, so it’s been a joy hearing how she’s continued to develop her unique style. On Girl Eats Sun, she masterfully serenades you through the different phases of love from dizzying happiness to aching longing. The little things are what elevate this project, from the strings on the wistful Easy to Love Me to Sky’s high-pitched, flowy vocals on the chorus of Mulholland, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my special appreciation for when Tala’s pitch dips and she’s in that pleasant moment between rapping and singing—hello verse two of All My Girls Like to Fight. Despite the title, Tala’s latest project brings the sunshine out for me every time I listen.

Ungodly Hour—Chloe x Halle • R&B

If you somehow managed to miss Chloe x Halle being the darlings of R&B this year, then please allow me to be your introduction to one of 2020’s few must-listen albums of the year. There’s no other way to describe Ungodly Hour than as a treat for R&B fans: from the variety of tempos (there’s the breathtakingly beautiful ballad Wonder What She Thinks of Me as well as the certified party bop Do It), to the timely range of topics from relationships to self-love (the lyric “I had to learn to love me lately” felt especially pertinent in a year without the usual social distractions); the album takes you on a ride. And of course, the whole time you’re wrapped in the surreal pleasure of their talent for unique harmonizations. If you’ve yet to queue this project on your streaming account, do it.

Holy Cow—All Cows Eat Grass • Electronic

Now here’s a group I’ve missed! ACEG projects always excel at layering dreamy synths with smooth beats, and Holy Cow fits right into the herd. One of their slower projects, tracks like Fly and Pillow Talk would easily fit into a summertime playlist with their simple, fun melodies. There’s also great storytelling in the lyrics of this project from the palpable excitement of the VIP section of a nightclub on About Us to the visceral shock of hearing “thank you” in response to “I love you” in a complicated relationship on Pretty Ladies—ouch. There are so many melodic gems on this 35-minute project; welcome to the pasture.

Ice Cream Clones—ROMderful • R&B

I must admit I was late to the party that is ROMderful’s music. I first encountered ROM last year via Twitter where he would post short clips of miniature duplicates of himself playing the various instruments of the track; the full videos can often be viewed on his YouTube channel. Since then, I’ve been enjoying the pleasant rabbit hole that is his Soundcloud (he’s had releases on Soulection) and production credits (he’s worked with artists like DUCKWRTH and Rayana Jay). A talented multi-instrumentalist, ROM’s music is full of fun sounds and soulful melodies, and his social media presence is just as joyful (his current Twitter name is ROMderTHICC). This project is full of very short tracks with infectious hooks. It’s a quick listen, but one I’ve returned to often.

Rumble Pack—Button • R&B

Button is the collaborative union of Allen Love and Bobby Earth—one of my absolute favorite independent R&B artists, and the reason I gave this project a listen. I’m very glad I did. Rumble Pack is brilliantly bizarre: funky synths, blazing features, all interspersed with random gaming commentary. Fans of The Jet Age of Tomorrow (Pyramid Vritra and the Internet’s Matt Martians) and ROMderful (who has a Rumble Pack feature) will surely appreciate the groovy eccentricity of this one. Thanks to this fun, soulful project, I’ve decided I may be a video game fan after all.

Cosmic Lips—Momocurly • Smooth Jazz

If the phrase ‘easy, breezy, beautiful’ were an album, this would be it! Momocurly is Japanese pianist and vocalist Momo Otani and French guitarist Christophe Pannekoucke. Together the two crafted an exquisitely mellow medley of melodies. Cosmic Lips is everything I enjoy in jazz: relaxing, mid-tempo and smooth. Otani’s voice is unique, high and light, and she glides over the tracks like Pannekoucke’s guitar. This project transports, it’s otherworldly.

with HER - EP—Crush • K*R&B

Because I believe Crush is one of the most talented R&B crooners making music right now, I was completely unsurprised to find that his latest project is smooth and soulful. Only five tracks, it’s a short one, and the concept is incredibly cute—each track is a duet with a different woman vocalist comprising a project of unique love ballads. The different vocalists mean each track has a unique sound and lyrically the project is full of heart-warming quotables and seductive one-liners. with HER is a project to fall in love to.

DPR ARCHIVES—DPR Live, DPR Ian, & DPR Cream • K*Rap/K*R&B

Ahh DPR, the eye candy that makes ear candy. DPR, initialism for Dream Perfect Regime, a South Korea-based art collective, blessed fans with this collection of both new and previously released tracks from DPR Live, DPR Ian, and DPR Cream. Though they collaborate extensively, each artist has a distinct sound that diversifies the collection overall—where I would call DPR Ian a pop artist, I’d call DPR Live a Rap/R&B artist, and then there’s DPR Cream whose contributions are purely instrumentals ranging from smooth and R&B-tinged to piano solos. For fans or those dipping their toes in for the first time, the ARCHIVES offer much to enjoy. (Also watch some DPR videos if you haven’t yet, both the men and the art are exceedingly visually pleasing.)

Peace Is Not a Dream—Senpu & ROMderful • R&B

And ROM makes another appearance! This time on a collaborative project—he has quite a few and I’ve enjoyed them all so far. Senpu, who I am less familiar with, contributes production and vocals to this project. Unlike Ice Cream Clones, these tracks feel more fully fledged out, with a verse or two in addition to the chorus. Between the memorable melodies and vocal harmonizations this project is certainly dreamy.

Rare Changes—Mayer Hawthorne • Soul

If you know anything about me, you know Hawthorne is one of my favorite blue-eyed soul artists, and Rare Changes is a lovely retro addition to his catalog. This album is from the seventies, I’m convinced: from the mid-tempo disco grooves to the doo-wop style background vocals. Rare Changes demonstrates Hawthorne’s adeptness at balancing nostalgia with the best parts of modern music, queue this one for a mellow night of slow dancing and slow sipping.

Honorable Mentions (there’s some bops here, but overall the project didn’t move me):

It Is What It Is—Thundercat • Funk

Whimsical & free-flowing as is his style; lyrically musing & haunting, the last track is an absolute clincher to the project.

The Slow Rush—Tame Impala • Alternative

If age-ripened weariness had a soundtrack you could bop to at a festival; Breathe Deeper instantly brings a smile to my face.

Shabrang—Sevdaliza • Alternative

Sevdaliza is one of the few artists who consistently leaves me breathless—her art is daring, thought-provoking, and absurdly beautiful. Shabrang is no different in its presentation and lyricism, though it is musically more traditional than I might expect.

Sin Miedo—Kali Uchis • Reggaeton

I already think Spanish is a beautiful language but Kali just makes it even more so. I’m not the biggest fan of reggaeton (I’m sorry to say it starts to sound repetitive to me after awhile) but the slower songs on this project are lovely: R&B melodies with her breathy, unique vocals. I definitely enjoyed the listen!

SLINGBAUM ONE—Slingbaum • Experimental Jazz

Voyage-19—Bilal x HighBreedMusic • Experimental Jazz

For fans of experimental jazz, get into SLINGBAUM ONE and Voyage-19, both projects are odd in the best sense: more about vibes and transitions than the traditionally cohesive album—I bought both and I’m still enjoying exploring them.

SAWAYAMA—Rina Sawayama • Pop

Future Nostalgia—Dua Lipa • Pop

Pure pop is not my usual fare, but SAWAYAMA, a fun, dance project is truly special—it is genre melting and Rina’s strong voice transforms to expertly complement each new vibe. Also, PLEASE watch the video for XS, it was one of the few things that energized me this year. And then there’s Future Nostalgia, a fun disco-inspired project. Only a couple of the bass lines & melodies caught my ear, but the visual/aesthetic roll out was spectacular.

The Album—Teyana Taylor • R&B

This was my first time sitting down to try a full Taylor project, and while I overall found the tracks repetitive, The Album has some bass lines I enjoyed and Taylor’s voice is beautiful.

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onestowatch · 3 years

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JW Francis Follows the Feeling on ‘WANDERKID’ [Q&A]

Following a summer on the Appalachian Trail and a string of blissful singles, New York's very own JW Francis has finally released his sophomore album WANDERKID. The artist's unapologetic persona shines through as he tells candid stories of the people who come in and out of his life, even if just for a moment.

The tracks on WANDERKID were written before Francis hit the trail. Opening with "John, Take Me With You," listeners are met with warped, pop guitar layers and heavily saturated vocals singing, "John, take me away! John, take me with you!" The melodic theme from the opening track seeps into the second, a looping and lighthearted song called "I Love You." The percussion transforms into a tight snare, tom hits, light percussive sounds, and a kick you feel in your gut. There are also pulsating analog synths layers that carry the melodic theme forward.

The rest of the album is full of sonic twists and turns that ultimately lead to the record's finale "Cars," easily a personal favorite. "Cars" is a downtempo, reflective closing track that uses a fast tremolo on the guitar lines, picking out a captivating melody. Supported by guest vocals provided by rising indie darling Margeaux, Francis ends the album with a soft fade-out, leaving listeners wanting more.

Overall, with its thematic tone, complex structure, and Sahil Ansari's impeccable production and mixing, WANDERKID is a cohesive body of work that should be on everyone's radar. We had the opportunity to discuss the record further with the artist and gain further insight into his inspirations and creative journey.

Ones to Watch: Do you feel like the record is one story with a beginning and end, or do you feel like it's more of an anthology, with each telling song its own story?

JW Francis: I feel like as an emotional ride, the record is one story with a beginning and an end. Hopefully, you can feel it in the energy of the first track and the emotional send-off of the last track. Sahil (my producer) and I always try to make it one cohesive ride that you can close your eyes and float to.

Were all of these songs written and recorded before or during the pandemic?

All the recording was done pre-pandemic, actually! We were very lucky in that respect. All the mixing and milling over the record was done during the pandemic. It was a very nice distraction to escape into.

What or who inspires you, and how did that manifest in this album?

NYC is inspiring. My mom and dad are inspiring. My friends are inspiring. Everything in my life is always pulling me towards the next thing, and I'm just trying to keep up with the feeling. For this record, I felt pulled towards another life, away from the comfort of my job and living with my best friend. So I recorded the record, then quit my job and left NYC. You have to follow the feeling.

Each of your music videos has this vibrant energy that retains a sense of novelty. How did you develop the concepts for your music videos, and do you have a favorite shoot from this album cycle?

A lot of the music videos are collaborations with friends where we bounce ideas off of each other. For the first record, I had specific ideas for nearly every song. For this one, I wanted to know what other people were seeing when they heard the track. For example, Clayton McCracken, who did the "WANDERKID" video, had the idea of filming with a 360 camera and plopping me into all the places I've lived. My favorite shoot, though, would have to be "Holy Mountain," which I made with my cousin Ryan because it features so much of my family.

Which video was the most challenging to shoot or conceptually execute?

Definitely the "WANDERKID" video. Not that it was challenging for me, Clayton just asked me to get a 360 camera and gave me a list of shots to get. When I saw the finished product, though, I was like, "Holy cow, he put a lot of work into this."

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What song is your favorite and your least favorite on the record? Why?

My favorite song on the album is usually the last one because that one is always different. This time it's "Cars." It's a little duet with one of my favorite artists, Margaux. It's such a sweet song.

I don't really have a least favorite, but it would be "Holy Mountain" if I had to choose it, because it's the oldest song on the album. It used to be a song about strawberries. I still love it, though.

What's your process like when it comes to songwriting? Is it a tried-and-true method or something that developed over time?

I tend to accumulate lots of musical ideas in the voice memos on my phone. A lot of them in the middle of the night. Eventually, I sit down at a computer and try to figure what I was singing about.

Do you have a favorite lyric or a line from the album that resonates with you when you sing it?

There's a line on "Cars" that goes, "I cannot drive." Which is something I actually cannot do. Never driven in my life. I didn't think it was a big deal until I went out on the Appalachian Trail and thought about all of the things I've never done. As soon as I got back, I booked a driver's test.

Can you tell me why you went with WANDERKID as the album's name?

It actually was one of those "all of a sudden" moments I can't explain. I wrote WANDERKID on a piece of paper, looked at it, and was like, "Yeah, that's it."

#jw francis #interview #wanderkid #album reviews #indie #indie pop

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galadrieljones · 4 years

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As You Were (Chapter 5)

Fandom: The Last of Us | Pairing: Joel x OC | Content: Fix-it | Rating: Mature

Masterpost

When Joel and Ellie take a wrong turn on their journey from Pittsburgh to Wyoming, they find themselves lost in, what feels like a time warp: a beautiful place with a dark and dangerous secret. While there, they meet Cici and Noah, a mother and son fighting tirelessly for survival, and who have recently endured a terrible tragedy on their family farm. Amidst their joint desire to find hope for the future, the two groups decide set out west together, changing the course of the story (as we know it), and the very course of their lives.

This is an AU, starting after the events of the Summer chapter in the first game, and extending into the timeline of the second game. Joel lives.

Chapter 5: Living Room Jam Session

"There are a million ways we should have died before today, and a million ways we can die before tomorrow. But we fight, for every second we get to spend with each other. Whether it's two minutes, or two days, we don't give that up. I don't wanna give that up."

That night, Cici went out to the circuit breaker next to the shed, and she switched on the electric fence. It worked after all.

“It’ll use up a lot of fuel,” she said to Joel. “But we can’t risk it.”

The farm was peaceful. Almost like nothing had ever happened. A couple cows had escaped, earlier that day. Joel had offered to help wrangle them, but Noah said don’t bother. “We can’t feed them anyway." He shrugged. He slaughtered a cow in the early evening. He showed Joel how to clean and butcher the meat, and how to salt and cure it for longer term use. They had steaks for dinner that night, prepared this time with a few potatoes, seasoned with dill from the garden, which was picked almost clean.

Joel was beginning to gather that their time on that farm was coming to a rapid conclusion. They couldn’t stay there, not much longer. If there were spores in the tributaries, that meant they could get into the water table, too. Cici and Noah knew this. They had been making four hour drives to the Fox River in Fon du Lac for several months now, bringing back water sourced from Green Bay. They said this was how they were able to trade for their fuel for the generators, from the Amish on the other side of the hill—making long drives to clean water. Even with the rain, they could no longer water their crops or sustain their livestock, and the Infected were becoming more of a threat every day. They had a lot of reserves, but it was only a matter of time before they ran out of food, or worse. Like Cici had said, him and Ellie showing up like they had, it was almost happenstance.

“I can get you your fuel tomorrow,” said Cici. They were still outside, leaning against a tree, looking at the circuit breaker. “You made good on your bargain. Thank you, Joel.”

Joel had got a big old cut on his forehead from the events down at the trench. She had patched it up for him with alcohol and gauze. Hadn’t made a fuss, just did it. “Cici, I know we ain’t known each other that long, but I ain’t leaving you and Noah here to deal with this all by yourselves.”

“You don’t owe us anything.”

“I know that,” said Joel. “And trust me, I been wrestling with it myself. But it don’t change anything.”

Cici straightened up off the tree and looked around. Her hair was down now, kind of tangly and windswept. Noah and Ellie were inside the house. “Noah said he told you about LaCrosse.”

Joel looked down at the grass as if to count the moonlit blades. “He didn’t go into a lot of detail,” he said. “But yes, he gave me the gist. Said your husband, he died in a fire. I’m sorry, Cici. I truly am.”

She just shrugged her shoulders. “We never got to find out, what’s been going on,” she said, blinking back tears. “We couldn’t stay, after it happened, and then we couldn’t go back.”

“Noah wants me to come with him,” said Joel. “Back. To LaCrosse. He asked me after dinner.”

“There’s no point,” she said. “There’s nothing we can do. Even if you find the source of the problem, the farm is too far gone to save.”

“I think it’s more about closure,” said Joel. “He didn’t say as much, but I get it. I told him I’d go. I hope I ain’t crossing any lines in doing so.”

She closed her eyes.

“Me and him are gonna head up tomorrow,” he went on. “I figure, the sooner the better. Shouldn’t take more than a couple days. I was gonna ask if you wanted to come with us, or if you'd be okay staying here, with Ellie. I don’t want to take her, because she’s just a kid, and she’s been through enough, and I don’t know what the hell we’re getting into up there, but I won’t leave her here alone.”

“It’s okay,” said Cici. She didn’t even try to argue. “I’ll stay. I don’t—I can’t go back there anyway.”

“Do y’all have anywhere to go?” said Joel. “I mean, aside from this farm? Noah mentioned family down in Moline. The I-80 runs right through there. I don’t know what we’ll find, but we could take you.”

Cici shook her head slowly, staring at the earth. “My sister-in-law was trying to get back there like six months ago. She said she’d come back for us, if it was all clear, but we never heard from her again.”

“I heard about some turf wars going on in the Quad Cities,” said Joel. “Just warning you. It was the kind of place too small for a QZ, but it was too big and too isolated to try and save. The military all but abandoned it. Now that was years ago. Things could have changed. Either way, it’s right on the Mississippi, so if your little problem extends into Illinois and Iowa, it probably ain’t gonna be pretty. But we can try.”

She took a deep breath, and she opened and closed her fists a couple times. She had little bones. She was small, but she wasn’t a weakling. “I wanna think about it.”

“Okay.”

“Let’s go inside,” she said, pulling herself together. She had this way of tucking her hair behind her ears. It was like hitting a reset button or something. Truth be told, he was a little confounded by Cici. Not in a bad way. He just found it very hard to predict her, despite her seeming steadfastness, as a woman. “Ellie and Noah are into the vinyls," she went on. "Who knows what they’ve got playing in there.”

“You guys got a ton of records,” said Joel as they headed back to the porch in the moonlit grass. “What is it with that? You just collectors or something?”

“My husband was,” she said. “William. He used to say that if the apocalypse ever came, at least we’d still be able to listen to music.”

“Well, he was right,” said Joel.

The seemed to comfort her. He saw her almost smile, out the corner of his eye.

“What’s this band called again?” said Ellie. She was sitting on her knees on the floor, in the middle of a big old pile of records. Noah was on the floor nearby, sifting through the pile one-by-one. It had been a long time since he’d really taken inventory, since before his dad died.

He picked up the vinyl, examined it front and back. “The Wallflowers.”

“The Wallflowers?” said Ellie. “Weird name, but I like it.”

“Do you know what a wallflower is?”

“Uh,” said Ellie, “like a flower that…grows out of the wall?”

Noah was amused. “It’s a metaphor. It’s like, somebody who stands on the sidelines. They don’t really get in on the action.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” said Ellie.

“The singer for this band is Bob Dylan’s son.”

“Neat,” said Ellie. “Who’s Bob Dylan again?”

Noah started going through a stack on his left, where he kept the sixties stuff. “This guy,” he said.

“Ah,” said Ellie. “The Blowing in the Wind guy. Very cool.”

“Did you guys ever listen to music in the QZ?”

“Yeah,” said Ellie, “but we didn’t have records. And everything I wanted, I had to steal or trade for with my ration cards. It was like, music or food sometimes. I had a walkman though, so I would just listen to tapes.”

“Do you still have it?”

“No,” said Ellie. “It broke like a thousand miles ago.”

“Bummer,” said Noah.

“Pretty much.”

They listened to the song. It was called “Josephine.” I know you’ve been sad. I know I’ve been bad. But if you’d let me, I’d make you ribbons from a paper bag.

“What do you think this song is about?” said Ellie.

Noah thought about it, looking up at the ceiling. “I think it’s like, the end of a relationship,” he said. “The guy messed up, but he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for Josephine anyway. He’s apologizing, and he knows he can’t get her back, but he still loves her. That’s what I get from it, but it sounds dumb as hell when I say it out loud.”

Ellie examined the sleeve. It was just a whole bunch of yellow stars on a black background. “It’s not dumb,” she said. “It’s just really sad. Why doesn’t he think he’s good enough?”

“I don’t know,” said Noah. “Why does anyone think anything?”

Ellie thought this was kind of funny. “Good point.”

“Let’s try this one,” said Noah.

He took the Wallflowers record off the platter, put a new record on.

“What’s this?” said Ellie. “Lightning Bolt. Pearl Jam? I think I’ve actually heard of these guys.”

“This one’s got a story behind it. You want to hear?”

Ellie straightened right up. “Hell yeah.”

“Okay,” said Noah, looking down at the sleeve. It was like this big, red eye, full of white lightning bolt decals. “So apparently like, this album was supposed to be released a few weeks after the day the outbreak officially hit in 2013. It got pushed back like everything else, and then the stores all closed and it just like, never happened. My dad had really been looking forward to it, so like six weeks after shit went dark, him and some guys went to a Best Buy up in Madison and looted all these unreleased vinyls from the warehouse.”

“Holy shit,” said Ellie. “That’s fucking awesome.”

“I know. He said he had to get by military guys and everything.”

“Dude, your dad was a total badass,” said Ellie. “You should be proud.”

At first Noah got quiet. Ellie hadn’t thought anything of it. She’d never had a dad, or a mom, or anyone to be proud of like that. She just thought it was so unbelievably rad that he had a story like this to tell other people, about his dad. Eventually, Noah smiled. She smiled along with him. He said, “There’s one song on here I like a lot.”

“Play it,” she said. “As long as it’s not about people breaking up. Because that shit sucks.”

“It’s not,” said Noah.

He set down the needle, and together, they listened.

The song was slow and beautiful, thought Ellie, but it grew. Piano—crisp and clean and rushing as the river—gave way to a man’s voice and the guitar, big as a boat. She sat without talking. She tucked her hands in her lap and looked down at her wrists. She closed her eyes and tried hard to let the music overwhelm her. It was hard for Ellie to let things overwhelm her. She wore heavy armor. She would make a joke. She would roll her eyes.

But this was different than the other song, thought Ellie. It was sad, maybe sentimental, but it was a good kind of sentimental. All the missing crooked hearts, they may die, but in us they live on. I believe. I believe 'cause I can see. Our future days. Days of you and me. It was strong, and it seemed to be about trying. Like, trying to be better, through the eyes of someone else. Loving, and being loved, even when it’s hard. You have to try. It put her back in time, almost to another universe, but she hammered it away. She liked this song much better than the last song. She wished to live inside the music.

When it ended, she looked at Noah, who was looking at the ceiling again, leaning back on his hands and listening, with intent. The song had filled the house with a purifying energy and brought it down, made it simple. The bad things that had happened that day, they were clean.

“That one was awesome,” said Ellie.

“Are you okay?” said Noah. He seemed like he was half-joking, but sort of earnest. It was enough joking to make her smile, but not too earnest to freak her out.

“Oh,” said Ellie, looking down at her shoe laces. “I’m fine. I just—these songs sort of remind me of someone I once knew. In another life I guess.”

Noah waited what seemed like a long time before he spoke again. He was mulling it over, with his elbows now resting on his knees. Then he said, “I get that.”

They played the song again. Then, they couldn’t take it anymore. They took it off and put on some emo shit by a band called Coldplay. It was kind of terrible, they agreed, but they listened anyway, as it was like a dream.

A little while later, Joel and Cici came back inside. Joel held the door for her and once they were in the living room, raised his eyebrows and made fun of the Coldplay.

“You guys okay in here?” he said. “Sounds like you made a wrong turn somewhere.”

“Oh, we’re great, Joel,” said Ellie. “You guys are seriously missing out on our jam session.”

“Ha,” said Cici.

Joel stretched and got real big, and then he leaned against the kitchen table. He seemed kind of faded, thought Ellie. He had that cut on his eye. He seemed very tired. “It’s been a long day,” he said. “I think I’m ready to head up. You wanna come Ellie, or you fixing to stay awake a while longer?”

Ellie got up and wiped her hands on her jeans. They’d gotten kind of dusty from handling all the vinyls. “I’ll come up,” she said. “I’m pretty wiped.”

“I’ll have breakfast ready early,” said Cici.

“Sounds fine,” said Joel.

“See you guys in the morning,” said Noah. He glanced up at Ellie then, as if thankful for something.

When they got upstairs, Ellie went to look in the mirror on the bureau and she took down her ponytail. Her hair felt like a rat’s nest. She started to brush it out, aggressively.

“Where’d you get that hair brush?” said Joel, taking his shoes off.

“Cici let me borrow it,” she said.

“Right,” said Joel. He put his face in his hands then, scrubbed them down his cheeks. “Ellie—"

She stopped mid-brush, turned around. “Noah told me about LaCrosse,” she said. “I wanna come.”

Joel took a deep breath, as this had caught him by surprise. “Ellie, no.”

“Well what the fuck?” she said. She set down the brush on the bureau, hard. “Why the hell not?”

He just took to staring at her. She wasn’t actually that mad, he thought, she just seemed genuine in her confusion. “Because,” he said. “I got no idea what we’re walking into up there.”

“Oh, but you did in Pittsburgh, when you drove us straight into a fucking trap?”

“That is beside the point.”

“How, Joel?” said Ellie. “Noah is only four years older than me. I can hold my own.”

“Those are four critical years, Ellie,” said Joel. He was trying not to raise his voice. “And honestly, it don’t matter whether you can hold your own, because this thing going on in, it ain’t about you. It ain’t about me neither. You understand? It’s about Noah atoning with his dad’s death. He needs help, and he asked me, and I am providing that for him.”

“I can help,” said Ellie.

“I know you two get along,” said Joel. “But you're helping most by staying put.”

“What about Cici? She doesn’t wanna go?”

Joel waved her off, started rubbing his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “No,” he said. “Cici’s made her peace. Or what’s left of it.”

“She doesn’t seem…at peace.”

“I didn’t say she was at peace. I just said she’s made her peace.” Ellie seemed to understand this, and now, he could tell she was just scared, of being left behind. “Look, Ellie,” he said, shaking his head. “You can’t come. That’s the end of this conversation. But we’ll only be gone a couple nights. You got Cici with you. She might seem quiet, but I think she's pretty hardcore, and you two got the electric fence. Me and Noah, we’ll be okay.”

“I know,” said Ellie, like she was defending herself. She had flipped open her switch blade, was studying the tip. “I know.”

“We good then?” said Joel.

She hesitated, but then she closed up the knife and flopped back onto the bed. “Fine,” she said.

He was relieved.

“But then you better fucking bring something back for me.”

This surprised him. He gave her a look. “Bring something back?” he said. “Like a souvenir?”

“Yeah,” she said. “A souvenir.”

“A souvenir from LaCrosse?”

“You heard me.”

Joel tugged the covers back, was getting ready to crawl beneath. The day had become a heavy weight, all of it resting right on his eye lids. He was glad it was all okay. “All right,” he said, yawning. “I’ll see what I can find.”

“Good,” she said.

“Now get some goddam sleep.”

“Ay ay, cap’n.”

A few minutes went by. Joel was about ready to get under the covers for good when Ellie said, “I gotta pee.”

He looked at her. “Now?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he said. “Okay. Just—just be quick.”

“You think I wanna take my time peeing in that thing? Outhouses are like the one bad thing about this place. Other than the whole, contaminated-water part, I guess.”

Joel took a breath, told her he would leave his lamp on. “Just hurry, and turn the lamp down when you get back.”

“I will,” she said.

Ellie went pee in the outhouse and did her best not to make any sounds. When she got out, she didn't feel tired, so she went over and stood by the river like a detour. She did not plan on staying long. She just looked at it, right down into it, and then it blinked back at her like the little bitch it was, bubbling deceptively in the moonlight. She suddenly hated that something so innocent could also be so deadly, and so fucking sad. The night was cooling down but it was still humid. She switched open her knife and wiped the sweat from her forehead on the back of her hand. She switched her knife closed again, then open again. She tried thinking about anything else, but that stupid Pearl Jam song had awakened something inside her.

“I haven’t seen you in…in I don’t know how long,” she said.

"Forty-five days?” said Riley. She was nervous. “Well, forty-six. Technically. Wanna know what I’ve been up to?”

The rain outside was like a drum. Ellie didn’t care. “All this time,” she said. “I thought you were dead.”

Riley felt everything, but just like everybody else in the whole wide world, she couldn’t show it. “Yeah,” she said. And she took off the dog tag. “Here. Look.”

“God fucking dammit,” said Ellie. She was on her knees now, overcome by something, and she stabbed the knife into the river bank. “Stupid fucking bullshit. Fuck you.” She stabbed it again, and then she felt like a complete dumbass, put it away. She thought about crying but she stared back at the river instead. “Go away,” she said.

“Ellie?” said someone. It was Cici, she was calling out to her from the porch. It must have been too long. “Ellie, you okay?”

“Shit,” said Ellie. "I'm okay." She got up, frantic, and her knees were all wet from the river bank. “I'm okay. I'm coming."

"Just checking," said Cici.

When she got back up to their room, Joel was under the covers. The lamp was dim. He lie very still, on his side, facing the wall, and she stood watching him for a second to see if he'd roll over and scold her or something. But he seemed like he was sleeping, and she was relieved. She didn't know why she cared, but she did. So she turned down the lamp right away and tried to be as quiet as she could so as not to disturb him. She took off her shoes and set them down silently, one by one. Then she took her jeans off, too, hung them over the bedpost to dry. She only had the one pair. She got under the covers and pulled them up to her chin, trying to sink into the mattress, forcing her brain to shut the fuck up. Please. For once, just shut the fuck up. But then,

“'Night, Ellie,” said Joel. He had not moved, by the dim light of the moon coming through the window.

She was near on startled. His voice was really deep and it always filled the room no matter how quiet. “Oh, shit,” she said. “Sorry, Joel."

"That's okay," he said.

"‘Night, Joel.”

Days of you and me.

***

On the record player: “Josephine” by The Wallflowers, “Future Days” by Pearl Jam, “The Scientist” by Coldplay

#the last of us #tlou #the last of us 2 #tlou2 #joel tlou #ellie tlou #as you were #cw: animal death mention

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queen-scribbles · 4 years

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2019 in Fic

Another tag from @starsandskies, just gonna open tag bc this one’s been sitting a while

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Favorite fic you wrote this year: Oh no, don’t make me choose. This was a really good year for me, writing-wise, and I have a lot I’m proud of and love... HELP. nnnnnn. Here, top three, bc I really can’t pick:

Tension(KotOR II; f!Exile/Atton sparring fic)

Certain as the Sun(Pillars of Eternity; Edér/Charity(OC) ultra fluffy wedding fic)

Drifting Roads(Dragon Age: Inquisition; Inquisitor!Jowan Fade adventure/self-worth wrestling)

Least favorite fic you wrote this year: A Little Excitement(PoE; Hirvaias & OC). Nothing wrong with it, I just really struggle with Hiravias’ voice, so I feel like it could be better but Idk how? That sort of thing

Favorite line/scene you wrote this year: UM. Dear God. I can’t pick a favorite fic and I’m supposed to pick just one line or scene? HOW. There’s the Ederity wedding, (also their flirting banter in the modern AU), Tavi and Khellin’s reunion. Mallory giving Felix a bloody nose for all of five seconds. Jonas and Bry making use of the Kissing as Cover trope. Levyn(Jowan)’s conversation with Trinne in the Fade--

OH. OH I KNOW. Jaaide’s breaking point in Cracks.

“And if I had? If I’d opted for directness over subtlety and still failed to sway her, would my hands be clean enough for you?!”

Total number of words you wrote this year: I didn’t keep track, but estimating between my AO3 stats page and short stuff I didn’t cross post to there... around 300k? HOLY MOTHERFORKING COW. THAT’S A NOVEL. I WROTE A LONG ASS NOVEL WORTH OF FANFIC LAST YEAR WTF

Most popular fic this year: A Good Story(DA:I, Varric PoV on writing Sebastian re: Hawke’s death during HLtA.) It somehow broke 100 notes and I’m still mildly stunned by that fact. :P

Least popular fic this year: Late Night Honesty(The Wayhaven Chronicles) only has three notes.

Longest completed fic you wrote this year: Drifting Roads is just over 20k

Shortest completed fic you wrote this year: If prompt fills count, this one. Otherwise it’s A Good Story(418).

Longest WIP of the year: Of Wardens & Pariahs(Dragon Age:Origins; Joined Canon AU for my Amell and a friend’s Cousland) is up to 150k now.

Shortest WIP of the year: If you mean started this year, I don’t have any; all my WIPs are holdovers from 2018.

Favorite character to write about this year: Okay, much as I love writing Jowan and Jonas and Edér and Sagani etc etc, this HANDS DOWN goes to Felix Hauville from The Wayhaven Chronicles.He’s a sheer joy and I love him.

Favorite writing song/artist/album of this year: Lindsey Stirling + The Witcher 3 OST

A fic you didn’t expect to write: Aside from all the Wayhaven stuff(I didn’t even play it until November), A Good Story. My feelings on Varric are /cough complicated and less positive than 99% of the DA fandom, so I never expected to write anything from his PoV.

Fic(s) you completed this year: Um. A lot. Look, it takes 9 1/2 pages of my tag.

Fics you’ll continue next year: Of Wardens and Pariahs

Current number of WIPs: four or five? A couple of those I started in January, though, so they’re technically 2020.

Any new fics to start next year: Mass Effect Holiday Harbinger fic, MORE WAYHAVEN FIC(esp. my f!Detectives being buddies with Felix bc that’s apparently so rare there isn’t even a tag for it on AO3 which is a TRAVESTY), Keme/Jorgan stuff.

Most memorable comment/review: While I love and cherish all comments, fave is either the person who commented “Oh darn, I’ve caught up” on OWaP or the person who asked if Tavi knew they’d die for her. :D

Events you participated in this year: Mass Effect Holiday Harbinger(Trust Exercise; MEA, f!Ryder/Suvi) and the DA Prompt Exchange summer fill-a-thin(Drifting Roads)

Fics you wanted to write but didn’t: That damn Brykar longfic(SWtOR) which I really, really hope I can get to this year. /fingers crossed

Favorite fic you read this year: JUST ONE?! HA. No can do :P

the past is a foreign country(Critical Role, by @teammompike)

Epiphany(Pillars of Eternity; The Watcher/Rekke, by @haledamage)

After, and After That(also Critical Role; Grogleth, post-campaign 1, by @aban-ataashi)

I’m sure there’s more that were on tumblr(those are all ao3) and I just can’t remember them. >.>

A fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read:

See Fire and Go Towards Light by @dalish-ish(Dragon Age: Inquisition, minor NPC-view of the game events) I really love her writing style, and she further explores some themes/issues that are only mentioned/hinted at in the game.

Number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year: A lot? I know three bookmarks off the top of my head, and I faved pretty much everything from The Usual Suspects(Knitter, Rhi, Grey, etc etc) by I didn’t really keep count.

Favorite fanfic author of the year: If I can’t pick a favorite line/fic of my own, do you really think I can pick a favorite author? :P I love all my writer friends. (I know it sounds like a cop-out, but it’s TRUE)

#tagged #i wrote SO MUCH pillars fic #just holy cow #choosing between my fics is like picking a favorite child xD

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melody-fox · 4 years

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Quarantine tag game!

thanks for the tag @mrsluthordanvers!

Are you staying home from work/school?

my job apparently thinks answering the phones and printing out drawings that literally anyone else could print out is “essential” but honestly i can’t complain very much because at least i still have a job. i know a lot of people lost theirs because of this virus situation

If you’re staying home, who’s there with you?

me, my parents, three younger siblings + one unofficially adopted one, and my older brother and his wife. and my puppies. it should be crowded but honestly, it’s not. i’ve really enjoyed having everyone home

Are you a homebody?

i would love to never leave my house if i could but alas, there are some people that i do enjoy seeing and i must leave my cave to do so.

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching?

i watched Set It Up recently, and on Sunday my family and i sat through however many hours Ben Hurr (1959) is because it is a classic and perfect for easter and holy cow that chariot race is iconic.

shows wise, i spent like a week binging New Girl and i just figured out Scooby-Doo!: Mystery Incorporated is on Netflix and that show is my CHILDHOOD so of course im watching the entire thing unironically and very much enjoying it.

An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

my birthday :( and my grandma’s big family party she’s been planning since Christmas

What music are you listening to?

i keep coming back to mxmtoon, Taylor Swift’s latest album, and the soundtrack for Little Women (2019).

What are you reading?

fanfiction but i need to reread Skulduggery Pleasant and Throne of Glass

What are you doing for self care?

i’ve been drinking a ridiculous amount of water at work because i get bored and that’s better than munching on candy all day. my dad got a boxing bag and a whole bunch of gloves and wraps so we can practice in the garage and that’s been a serious stress relief. i need to work on going to bed at a reasonable hour though

tagging: @butimaloneandfree @aqueenthatisfrozen @thecaptainbriarrose @sybill-the-seer and anyone else who wants to have a go :)

#tag game

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andersonpaceny · 6 years

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The Perfect Vacation || BLESSE

Airports were almost like a second home to Jesse, having been in them and through them more times than he could count. And JFK was the airport he frequented the most. From flying over to LA to do press to travelling for tours or events to just visiting his parents in Florida. When they pulled up outside the airport, in the drop off bay, he unclicked his seatbelt and turn to Blaine with a grin, "we're here." "Can I tell Georgia where you're going now?" The man sitting in the front seat asked, a tone of amusement to his voice, since Jesse had made him swear not to tell her. He shrugged, "you can tell her when we land. I don't trust her not to have an entire army of body guards waiting for me at Zurich if she finds out with enough time to organise it." He looked at his watch. They still had several hours to their flight since they had to check in early. "So at 6am tomorrow, you're safe to tell her. By then we'll have a car and since even you don't know where we're going from there, I think we'll be safe." The last thing Jesse had wanted on this trip, was an entourage. And Georgia was always so paranoid. He wanted it to be just him and Blaine, and the Swiss Alps outside their window. Nobody hanging around, no need to worry about being quiet or the awful feeling somebody was watching them. None of it. "Okay, let's go," he grabbed Blaine's hand and they got out of the car, taking their luggage out of the trunk and walking in, directing Blaine to the priority check-in line, instead of the long queue that most people were joining. The check-in process was easy, their bags were weighed and sent off (they hadn't taken much, but with their hiking gear, they'd both packed a checked bag), and then the woman was sliding their boarding passes. "There you go, sirs. You can go through customs to your left, and you can find directions to the first class lounge at the information desk if you need. Enjoy your flight."

Blaine chuckled as he too got out of he car, then held onto his suitcase and carry-on luggage. "You both shush. It's my job to call her and get nagged about it. I'm your P.A. so I'll call her... right after we're at the place where we're staying." He shook the driver's hand, then followed Jesse inside to the VIP check-in line, which made it all easy and rather fancy. Once they were inside Blaine couldn't stop gawking at everything he saw, especially when they made it to first class lounge, where they had to wait for the time to board the plane. Coffee and magazines in hand, they sat there together, him focusing on the magazine at hand while some people looked at them, or at Jesse and smiled, or waved at him, and then it wasn't long until they were finally boarding the plane, them being located in first class the first ones to come on board. "Holy cow...." he said as walked inside the first class sitting area, unable to hold back his awe any longer. "You can tell me to shut up any time you want, but this is the first time I fly first class, and this is awesome!"

@jessestmusic

Jesse chuckled and put their bags under the spacious area of their seats. "It's okay, it's adorable. You're like someone who's celebrating Christmas for the first time." Truthfully, he didn't always first class, he could never justify the need, especially when he was flying around America on such short flights. But he also had the money to spend and this was their first real trip away together. Yes, they'd been together on the tour, and they'd taken trips to Florida to visit Jesse's family, and Ohio to visit Blaine's, but there had never been anything like this. A romantic summer vacation in the Alps. This was - to Jesse at least - a big step in their relationship. So why wouldn't he want to spoil Blaine when he had the means to? So first class had been a no brainer. "Just wait until you see the wine menu." There were a couple of different seats in first class but the two that they were in were joining - of course, so they could lift up the table in the middle and virtually they ended up on a large sofa. It was soft and plush, with spacious room to move and large TV and window they could watch the take off and landing from with ease. Although they had boarded first, it didn't take long for the plane to fill up, and the pilot announced their take off and asked everyone to put on their seatbelts and prepare.

Blaine chuckled and nodded. "Yup! This is exactly how it feels like" he said chirpily, then planted a soft kiss to his cheek and made sure his bags were safely tucked under their seats, then he turned to look at him with wide, shocked eyes. "We're having wine?" To him, it was all a discovery so far, and they were just getting started. At the pilot's signal they took their seats and he tucked his seatbelt on tight before he held onto Jesse's hand. "Here we go!" he said, almost bouncing on his seat, then took a deep breath when they plane hit the runway and finally took off with ease, his stomach dropping down inside of him as they climbed up, but he was also far too excited to actually feel scared.

Jesse looked at Blaine, confused, and nodded, "of course we're having wine. Even the economy class gets wine, although they have to buy it. We get two complimentary glasses." The take off was smooth and they watched through the window at New York getting smaller and smaller underneath them. "New York is always so beautiful from the air," he commented, the contrast of Central Park and the urban sprawl obvious. Once the ascent was compete, the cabin crew started moving around. The flight went fairly quickly, they had a couple of drinks and their meals and since it was overnight, had a little nap in the incredibly comfy seats of first class. He took a photo of him and Blaine, posting it to Instagram using the plane's wifi, knowing it would drive Georgia crazy not knowing where they were going. But he couldn't resist. Still, before long, the pilot was announcing their descent and asking everyone to return to their seats and buckle their seatbelts to prepare.

Blaine wouldn't miss the chance to take as many pictures of he could from inside the plane, and even though he tried to persuade Jesse from posting that one selfie on instagram, he was really too happy to care about Georgia's reaction. He could deal with that later. After a couple of movies, a quick power nap and some nice breakfast (they flew through the night), it was soon time to land, and Blaine was once again on overdrive. He had to be reminfded by Jesse several times that he had to wait until the plane stopped completely to stand up from his seat, and when it finally did, he felt like everything and everyone else were moving too slow. Eventually they made it out of the plane and took the VIP access to their baggage claim, and he was bouncing a little when they finally got hold of them.

Jesse couldn't help but find Blaine absolutely adorable throughout the whole flight, but he couldn't blame him. He remembered the first time he'd flown first class, he'd been about 17 at the time and as much as he'd tried to not look as excited, he absolutely had been. But the flight was over soon enough and they departed first, and collected their bags, their two suitcases and the guitar case marked as fragile. "Is it okay?" He asked, checking the case over for damages. "Come on," he said, once he was satisfied, "let's get the car." They walked to where the car hire was and with a quick check over the license, they were being passed their keys. "I think Georgia will know where we are soon," he said, nodding over to where somebody was not so subtly taking his photo. He made a point of waving at the, amused when he noticed their face flush. "I don't know why people don't just ask, surely a selfie is better than being a stalker," he huffed, taking the keys and following the attendant out to where their care was. After loading up the luggage, they were on the road, making sure nobody was following them.

Blaine gave the guitar case a quick lookover and nodded. "Yup, seems whole." After grabbing their bags, and also picking up their hired car keys, he followed Jesse to the lot where it was parked, just beside the main gate of the airport, and he chuckled at Jesse's reaction at the people who had ajust spotted them there. "Just ignore them, babe. Come on..." He put his bags inside the trunk and got into the car, where he quickly proceeded to post some of the pictures they had taken in the airplane, tagged with #sorrygeorgia and pressed 'post'. After that nothing else mattered, but the fact they were already in Switzerland, starting their vacation.

Jesse snorted when he saw the hashtag Blaine had taken and shook his head, "oh my god, she's going to be so mad and I don't even care. But we have to be careful. If I hurt myself or we do something stupid, she'll have me under lock and key until my next album and tour are over." It wasn't a short drive, their accommodation being just over two hours from the airport but that was exactly what Jesse had wanted. He wanted to go somewhere off the grid, where the two of them could just enjoy the peace and quiet with the views around them. He thought about coming back in the peak winter seasons, taking Blaine skiing on the busy mountains and he knew that would be amazing. But right now, he just wanted a quiet time with Blaine, where nobody would gawk at him and where he could focus on his music. They chatted, and pointed things out about the scenery, especially the Swiss Alps as they came into view.

Blaine didn't waste any chance he had of taking as many pictures as he could as they rode the long drive to where their cabin was located, which Blaine loved since that meant they could be alone and enjoy their vacation. He couldn't stop gawking at everything around him, the scenery almost too beautiful to be true. When they finally arrived to their destination it was even more perfect than what he had imagined. Mountains surrounded them evrywhere they looked and the cabin settled on a cute, much smaller mountain top, looking almost like those in the postcards. "Oh.. my god... Babe, this is so- wow...." He chuckled, then jumped into his arms. "I love it, and I love you."

Jesse was busy looking at the view - the mountains looked different in summer, but somehow more cheerful and welcoming - that he nearly missed Blaine jumping in his arms. He had fast enough reflexes though, catching up as he wrapped his arms around him and he couldn't resist spinning him around. Other than a hike or two, they really had nothing planned for the ten days they were here and Jesse was looking forward to just relaxing, spending time with Blaine without the pressures of the outside world, and writing some music. "It looks beautiful, doesn't it. Quick, smile," he pulled out his phone and held it out in front of him, snapping a quick selfie with the mountains behind them. He didn't want to post too much on Instagram until they got back, just in case, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to take as many photos as possible. "Come on, let's check it out." He grabbed Blaine's hand and tugged in him inside, finding the key where the owner said it would be, and stepping inside and revealing the large cabin, styled perfectly for the mountains.

Blaine couldn't stop gawking at everything he could as he held onto Jesse's arms, then he leaned closer and smiled brightly for the camera before he jumped back to the ground and took his hand back. "If it's anything like things here on the outside- H-Holy sh...." He blinked as he looked around at the perfectly put together cabin, its wooden interior making it warm in the winter and cool enough during the summer days. "Jesse, it's... wow, just... wow. It's so beautiful, babe..." He walked up to the door that led outside to the balcony and gasped when he saw the ful mountain scenary in front of him.

Jesse completely agreed with Blaine's reaction, despite having seen the pictures before and knowing what to expect. The place was gorgeous. It had such a warm, moutain cabin feeling to it without feeling cramped or dark. And already he could just feel the inspiration coming. The more he'd thought about it lately, the more he wasn't sure if he wanted to sign on to Apollo records after his next album, which was the last in his contract, unless they allowed for a little more freedom in his music. He wasn't some teenage boy wanting to produce popular poppy songs anymore. He'd grown as an artist and he wanted his music to reflect that. And essentially, he wanted to have at least a few songs on there that directly related to coming out, or celebrating who he was. He wasn't hiding anymore, and he wanted to show the world that he would never hide again. At least, not his sexuality. He was fully prepared to hide from the world with Blaine for the next ten days. He stepped up behind Blaine on the balcony, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on his shoulder. "It really is, isn't it? And just think, itOops.Jesse completely agreed with Blaine's reaction, despite having seen the pictures before and knowing what to expect. The place was gorgeous. It had such a warm, moutain cabin feeling to it without feeling cramped or dark. And already he could just feel the inspiration coming. The more he'd thought about it lately, the more he wasn't sure if he wanted to sign on to Apollo records after his next album, which was the last in his contract, unless they allowed for a little more freedom in his music. He wasn't some teenage boy wanting to produce popular poppy songs anymore. He'd grown as an artist and he wanted his music to reflect that. And essentially, he wanted to have at least a few songs on there that directly related to coming out, or celebrating who he was. He wasn't hiding anymore, and he wanted to show the world that he would never hide again. At least, not his sexuality. He was fully prepared to hide from the world with Blaine for the next ten days. He stepped up behind Blaine on the balcony, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on his shoulder. "It really is, isn't it? And just think, it's our view for the next ten days. Well, that and each other," he smirked, tilting his head to kiss his cheek.

Blaine was quite enraptured in the sight in front of him, so when Jesse came up from behind he was a bit startled, but he quickly calmed down and relaxed into the gentle embrace, his back leaning against Jesse's chest. "Babe, no matter how beautiful it all is, it would never distract me from looking at the thing I like to look at the most." He turned into the embrace and smiled as he kissed him, then hugged him tight before he pulled back. "Let's go check our rooms now! Oh, and the kitchen. I must see where we'll be cooking for the next days. You know me and my tummy!" He giggled, then took his hand and led him to where he believed the rooms were.

Jesse raised an eyebrow, "our rooms? Babe, I think you'll find we'll be sharing a room or I'll riot. Mmm, speaking of cooking, we'll walk into the town in a bit before it gets too late and pick up some supplies. I think it's only a small town, but I'm sure we'll be able to find something to get us by. I hope so," he chuckled. It was about 12:30pm now, so he was sure they'd want to walk in to get some food once they were done exploring and it was only a ten minute walk. Practically down the road. He followed Blaine throughout the house and they looked into the rooms. There were four bedrooms since the house was huge and laid out for a family, but the only one they cared about was the large master bedroom. It was large and beautiful, and just perfect. There was a large window and their own private balcony as well (not that technically the other balcony wasn't private for them too) and there were also tea and coffee making facilities so they didn't have to go downstairs to make coffee in the morning if they didn't want to.

Blaine chuckled and patted his butt playfully. " I meant the rooms in the house, babe. Of course we'll be sharing a bed. You think I'd let you out of my sight during our vacation together? Unlikely." When Jesse opened the door to their master bedroom he gasped and stepped inside, and if he had thought the living room was gorgeous, nothing could compare to that room. "Oh... my god. This is so awesome. Look at the view!" he said, pointing at the window like a little kid pointing at some toy at the store. "And we can see it from the bed, how cool is that??" He was bouncing on every step he made, even spinning around as if he was in a bad reprise of The Sound of Music. "This is gonna be so magical, but yeah... Food is a must. You wanna go now then, before it gets dark?"

Jesse leaned against the door frame and smiled as he watched Blaine run around. He remembered being a teenager, touring for the first time. Staying in nice and fancy hotels. His parents had never been poor, and they'd been on the occasional holiday, but they'd never been rich either. Just comfortably middle class. And now, here he was, worth millions - if not billions - of dollars. And sites like this still shocked in sometimes, but seeing Blaine excited was worth even more. And if they could travel the world together, he would show Blaine wherever he wanted to go. He'd never wanted to live a particularly lavish life, having saved most of the money he'd made after purchasing his apartment, so even if something went horribly wrong with his career, they'd be set up. "We can use the fireplace too," he said, pushing himself off the door frame, "it still gets cold at night, even in summer. Romantic, wouldn't you say." He grabbed Blaine and pulled him in, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him deep and soundly. They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, as moments passed before he broken the kiss. He glanced outside the window, "we do have several more hours before it gets dark. But I agree, if we go now and get what we need, we can get back and enjoy the rest of the day to ourselves."

Blaine smiled as he was pulled into Jesse's embrace, his body fitting perfectly against his as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders and let go of himself when their lips touched, always so smooth and soft and warm; he hummed softly into the kiss, savouring every drop of warmth and taste that was shared, and he even pouted a little when they pulled back, his heart beating fast inside his chest and his toes tickling inside his shoes. "How about... a cute picnic-slash-dinner or lunch, or.. brunch, what time is it?-" He chuckled, then looked at him fondly. "-by the fireplace for our first night here?"

Jesse laughed and kissed him softly on the nose. "It's about half 12. So if we take our time walking to the village, maybe see if there's a cafe for a light lunch, and then go for a walk, we'd get back here and can have an early dinner by the fireplace. Sound good?"

Blaine smiled and kissed him again before he let go of him and took his hand instead. "I like that idea! That way we could get a glimpse at this place, and if anything like you can see from afar-" He chuckled as they both made their way back into the living room, their suitcases left there to be taken care of later that day, and he grabbed his bag, which contained his passport, wallet, phone and sunglasses, before he walked to the door. "Let's go then!"

Jesse smirked at him, knowing exactly what he was talking about. There were no houses around where they were (part of the charm of why he picked the place - that and the view) and the town was far enough away that he was sure nobody would really notice them. He swung their joined hands between them, as they locked the door behind them and headed off down the path towards the village. The views were virtually the same from their accommodation, but they still stopped multiple times to take photos and veer off path so their five minute walk turned into about twenty minutes. And the village... well. It was definitely small. The description of the property hadn't been lying. It was more of a pitstop for travelling vehicles than anything else, but there was a roadhouse/gas station and a small convenience store. Enough for them to find things to make dinner, though he was thinking they'd end up with pasta and rice. Easy and a good base for their meals. "Should we get some food? Roadhouses can serve good food sometimes. I'm starving. And then we can think about some easy stuff we can buy for dinner. We can always drive to a bigger town if we can't find stuff, but I think we'll be okay."

Blaine was in absolute of the place they were, his eyes wandering all over the place while he took a bunch of pictures out of everything he could. It was such a nice change of pace from being, from living in a city that literally never slept, and was always on the run; and although their last vacation together had been wonderful too, to be in a town like that was the perfect place to enjoy a calm, peaceful time, with the man he adored, with no disstractions around, but them two. "Yes! Food! PLease. I'm really hungry too. Maybe some hot soup and a steak? You think they have those there?" He only had to look up to see the place where they would most likely be going.

Jesse looked at the roadhouse and shrugged, "let's find out?" He winked at Blaine and they walked inside. They could go to the convenience store later to pick up food to cook with, and anything else they wanted, like coffee. For now though, they were both hungry and some hopefully okay food was what they needed. They were greeted warmly by the man behind the counter when they entered. There were a couple of tables in the small building so they would at least be able to sit down and eat as well. They didn't have steak, or anything quite like that, but they had sandwiches, sausage rolls, soup and other similar food. "I think I'll probably have a sausage roll and a coffee." The sausage rolls sat in a heated cabinet at the front, clearly homemade with flaky pastry, and that was enough to convince him. "What do you think, babe?"

Blaine smiled warmly at the man who greeted them at the door, then after following him to their table he placed his napkin on his lap and hummed in thought for about two seconds before he spoke. "A bowl of hot soup and a roastbeef sandwich then? And some chips on the side, please?" From the corner of his eye he spotted a deliciously looking chocolate cake, covered by a plastic lid to keep it fresh, and he made a mental note to have some of that for dessert.

"I'll get us a chips to share," Jesse replied, leaning in and giving Blaine a quick kiss on the lips. He ordered their food from the counter and the man behind it rung it up. Thankfully, Jesse's card was one he could use internationally without worry, so they hadn't needed to rush and get currency before they left. The man got their food ready, passing it to Jesse once it was heated up. It was set up as a pit stop, so he was sure a lot of people got their food in takeaway bags, but the few tables that sat here for those wanting to take a break from their journey - or in their case, just enjoy lunch - was nice. "Thank you," he said, carrying the tray with the food on it over to where Blaine was sitting. "Here we go. Soup and a sandwich for you, sausage roll for me and chips to share. God, I'm starving."

Blaine was lost in thought as he looked outside a nearby window, from which he could see the mountain, beautiful and untouched, so he almost didn't notice Jesse coming back until he was actually at the table. "Oh! Yum yum, give me food!" he said making grabby hands at him, and they were soon settle down with their food at the table. He held onto Jesse's hand and gave it a quick kiss. "Bon apetite" he said, then dove right in to eat his soup before it could get cold, and he hummed at its delicious taste. "Hmm! This is very good! Not as much as my infamous chicken soup, but close second." He smiled at him and continued eating, even sinking one of the crackers the soup came with in it.

Jesse grinned when Blaine kissed his hand, bowing his head in a ridiculous gesture. He broke off a piece of his sausage roll and chewed on it thoughtfully, his stomach giving an appreciative noise. "It's not bad," he agreed, taking a chip, "I'm so hungry so it could have been awful and I probably wouldn't have minded though." He chuckled and gazed out the window. It was a rarity sometimes, for him, to be able to be so completely relaxed, without a hoard of people asking for autographs or photographs. Here it was just peaceful, and he was looking forward to just Blaine's company for the next ten days.

They continued theeir meal in relative silence, broke only by the sounds they weremaking when chewing the food, and perhaps some lively comments about the food, or the place, which Blaine was convinced they would be visiting at least one more time before leaving. It was a rarety to have such a calm time when they were out, and he appreciated that. After they were done eating and paying for their bill, and carrying a to-go cup of coffee in hand, they continued their lazy walk through town, every now and then stopping to get items they felt they might needed during their stay, just before they made it into the actual grocery store, a small place, in comparison with the ones back at home, but still with anything and everything they would like. "I vote we get some bottles of wine for the cold nights" he chimed in with a playful grin on his face.

They had a fridge and freezer back at the lodge, so they picked up a bunch of things they would need. No doubt they could come back into town if they wanted - but Jesse also wanted them to have enough supplies to last them in case they wanted a few lazy days. They also grabbed things to take on their hikes, since they'd planned on doing a couple of those. He chuckled at Blaine's wine suggestion, leaning in to kiss him quickly, "you say it like you think I'd argue with that. Wine is a perfect suggestion." They selected a couple of bottles from the limited range on offer, and made their way to the checkout, bagging up their items and loading them up on their arms for the short trek back to the lodge.

Blaine chuckled and kissed his cheek quickly. "Good man. I knew you'd see my point. Nothing like a good wine, and a warm body for the cold nights." He wiggled his eyebrows at him, then laughed and walked away to where the register was. After everything was paid up and packed they grabbed the bags and made it back to the cabin. "I'm really loving this place, babe. The quiet alone is something I'll treasure while we're here" he said as they walked through the door and headed to the kitchen to put the bags down. "I have the feeling I'll be walking with plugs in my ears from now on when we get back home." He chuckled and winked at him.

Jesse looked around and nodded, "I know what you mean. Sometimes it all just gets too much. I kind of thrive on it though... but that doesn't mean I don't want a break every so often. Something Georgia doesn't seem to get. She thinks a break is a day off in my apartment." He sighed, placing the bags down on the counter and they got to work unpacking them and putting them away. Thankfully they had a fully stocked kitchen so could pretty much cook up anything they wanted, and they'd bought enough stuff to last them a few days at least. More if they dragged it out but it wasn't like the town was far away - and it was summer so there wasn't exactly a chance of a snowstorm to trap them in. "I do want to try to get something written while I'm here... you know, a change of pace might get the creative juices flowing. Not to mention, you're here to inspire me and all but one of the songs I've written for my new album have been inspired by you so far. Well, you and just being myself."

Blaine closed the pantry once everything in place, then turned to Jesse and smiled, his arms going around his waist as he pecked his lips gently. "I'm the luckiest muse in the world then. I'm happy to be part of your life now that you're so comfortable with it. With who you are and what you feel. I have the feeling the best is yet to come, Mr. St. James, and I'll be there, pom poms and all to cheer for you, always." They shared one more kiss, then he stepped back and rubbed his hands together. "How about we drink some wine, hmm? The one you bought looks like is from a good year."

Jesse smiled into the brief kiss and nodded. "Well, you made me realise it was okay to be okay with who I am. So thank you. I don't think I can ever repay you, but writing songs is what I do so it's a start." He grabbed one of the bottles of wine they picked at random, searching through the draws for a corkscrew, luckily finding one. He popped open the bottle, and poured the two glasses, taking Blaine's and leading him to the alcove window, with a couch and a gorgeous view of the mountains. It was still the afternoon, but he could imagine sitting here and watching dusk settle over them. But for now, they sat on the couch, curled up, drinking sips of wine and soaking in the view.

END.

#blesse rp #1x1 rp #discord para

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thatbanjobusiness · 3 years

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One of my favorite moments in life...... was finding out a banjo magazine did an in-depth, almost-played-straight interview of Kermit the Frog. There’s jokes in here particular to banjo pickers, and a number more jokes that are typical Muppet tongue-in-cheek.

Like seriously, they start the article by comparing Kermit the Frog with EARL SCRUGGS.

Take away his meteoric rise to superstardom in the movies and we could be hailing Froggy Mountain Banjo as a barometer of banjo bliss right beside Earl’s magnum opus. Academy Award nominations... Grammy nominations... TV stardom... blockbuster movies... a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (four years before that other Hollywood banjo guy... what’s his name...)... whew... not bad for a little green banjo picker from Mississippi.

FROGGY Mountain Banjo is a great pun, referencing Earl Scruggs’ 1961 album Foggy Mountain Banjo, which is the ultimate staple solo banjo album for pickers. I also had to look up Kermit the Frog’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star... Kermit got a star on November 14, 2002. Earl Scruggs also has a star, which he got on February 13, 2003, so yeah, Kermit beat him. Admittedly I’m not sure who “the other Hollywood guy” is they’re mentioning; I was looking up famous names, and found that Roy Clark got his ceremony February 12, 1975, so it can’t be him. So I don’t know. I looked through the people who got their stars in 2006 and 2007 and so and there wasn’t a name that caught my eye. I only skimmed it so maybe I missed something. Anyway.

Then the article goes into famous banjo pickers like Tony Trischka supposedly giving praise to Kermit’s banjo abilities. Which gave me a huge laugh. Especially when they’re saying things like, “in many ways, Kermit has been as important in the resurging interest in the banjo as Pete Seeger was.” Come to think of it... they’re probably........ not wrong.

Ira Gitlin also remarked on how little Kermit’s hands move. “That kind of economy of motion can only be the fruit of many hours of practice. Yet he chose not to indulge in empty showboating and virtuosic display, but in playing simple music that touched people’s hearts. That’s the sign of a true artist; we could all learn a lesson from this modest amphibian!”

Like holy cow this article went all out pretending Kermit’s a real performer.

BNL: I’ve seen you use a flatpick, but on some songs you play Scruggs-style.

KF: I love Scruggs-style, but I think it’s good to be able to use a flatpick too. Unfortunately, I sometimes have trouble using a flatpick: Animal keeps mistaking them for chips and eating them.

Elsewhere:

KF: I’m self-taught. No one in the swamp had ever seen a banjo before. I just had to figure it out as I went along. Lucky for me, one of our neighbors had an old Flatt & Scruggs album, so I had some guidance from that. (Though I admit my family got very tired of me practicing Foggy Mountain Breakdown.)

And as I said...... there’s some spot-on Muppet humor....

KF: It helps to be able to get that full loud sound, but the real reason I chose the banjo was because a banjo floated into the swamp one day and I decided to give it a try. (I’m lucky, too. The following week, an accordion floated into the swamp.) Somewhere out there is a music store that floods regularly.

BNL: What was the first song you learned to play on the banjo? For most people it is Cripple Creek... but you’re from Deer Creek...

KF: Actually, it’s an amphibian variation on Cripple Creek called Cripple Croak. Same basic tune, but with more of a hip-hop beat.

(I can attest... the first song I was given in lessons was Cripple Creek. It is the standard beginner’s first song.)

And given as banjo players suffer through banjo jokes, I’m always trying to strengthen my arsenal by memorizing all the banjo jokes I can. See, I can take control of the situation if I am the one to make the jokes instead of being the victim of the jokes. And they had some new funny ones I hadn’t heard before:

BNL: Do you have a favorite banjo joke?

KF: Playing the banjo is a lot like being a blindfolded javelin thrower: you don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

BNL: Do the other Muppets know a lot of banjo jokes?

KF: Fozzie has a lot of banjo jokes. Actually Fozzie has jokes about almost everything. I know his personal favorite is: “You can tune a banjo, but how do you tuna fish?... By adjusting it’s scales”... To which I add, as Fozzie would: “Wocka! Wocka!”

BNL: You’re from the Delta, home of the blues. A lot of people feel the blues started on banjo. Do you play the blues?

KF: I can play blues, but I mostly play greens.

So yeah like. The first time I saw this article, it made my life.

#thatbanjobusiness #that banjo business #while I'm yakking about the Muppets tonight I got reminded of this #General Banjo Business #Modern Media #Resource #The Muppets #long post #Kermit the Frog #modern media connections #links and resources

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pervasivescariness · 6 years

Note

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Lemme hear one!

One? Friend that’s six. XD Which is perfectly alright cause I have just so many songs I love~

Vertigo - Mini Mansions(NSFW warning on that video btw, it contains boobs)

Discovering this song was quite an accident, having stumbled upon it through my endless sifting through spotify lists to chase a mood. I instantly fell in love with the way this sounds so mysterious and dangerous. It’s this winding, pressing sort of walk through a weird soundscape that kinda feels like a slow descent into a bit of madness? Either way it’s spooky and wonderful and I’m happy I stumbled upon it!

My Mistakes Were Made for You - The Last Shadow Puppets

These guys have this lovely old school rock sound and I adore it to pieces. This song is jangly and dark and catchy as hell while also having that sort of dark feel to it. Hey have you noticed a trend in my musical habits? :V Catchy and dark? lol

Every Thug Needs A Lady - Alkaline Trio

Alkaline Trio is like that best friend that’s always been around that you discover, years later, that you’re absolutely in love with them. That being said, I honestly feel this song is probably one of the best love songs I’ve ever heard. No fancy words or grand declarations of love, just a very intimate ‘hey I know I’m not much and I can only ever be what I am, but I love you and I need you.’ I have a lot of love songs that I enjoy but this one has always stuck with me as being just so damn real, you know? I just love the sentiment behind it. :3

Seasons (Waiting on You) - Future Islands

You know the real reason I ever looked up this band at all was because I absolutely fell in love with the way the singer says ‘you’ in this song. XD It was really hard choosing a song by these guys cause I just absolutely adore everything they’ve put out. Seasons has this great sort of building melancholy to it and I just...I really love the way he says “you”. XD I highly reccomend checking out the album ‘Singles’ though, as it has some fantastic pieces on it.

Play Crack the Sky - Brand New

This song is beautiful. I’ve always loved Brand New and their lyrical prowess and this song is no exception. It’s powerful and sad and hits me right in my heart. I love this because I’ve lived this.

The Hounds - The Protomen

Aahhhh this song is just so much fun >:O This was my introduction to The Protomen and holy cow, by the end of this song I needed to listen to the entire Act II album from start to finish or I was gonna die. It’s catchy and I am a sucker for concept albums. The whole album is a treat and probably one of my most favorite albums of all time even~

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katiebruce · 6 years

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Year of the Silver Star

It’s taken me a while to sit down and right my annual end-of-the-year post. Normally, I’ve got this post done in the weeks leading up to New Year’s Eve, or, at the very least, the night before. Yet, here we are.

I think part of it is my fear of letting go of what was such an incredible year for me. I know I’m basically alone in having had a great 2017—that’s okay, I’m usually an outcast anyways—but also a sense that I’ve peaked and will now plateau, if not avalanche, downwards into both my Saturn Return and my thirties. Whatever it may be, I owe it to both one of the best years of my life and one of the strangest starts to a new year I’ve ever had to document it.

So, here it is.

I started 2017 doing one of my favorite things: being out of the country. Sure, I was working, and sure, I wasn’t with my most favorite people, or in one of my favorite cities (not to shade Toronto, by any means)—but I had a good time. I had this overall feeling of excitement and change and that air of “anything is possible” that often accompanies the completion of a year--but somehow more than ever before. Something just felt right.

I knew that starting the year off out of the country would provide ample travel opportunities and I made no hesitation in starting that right away. My best friend and I flew to Philly for a weekend—to see one of our favorite emo bands, mind you—and explored the frigid city in all its historic glory. About a week later, I flew to Vegas for my roommate’s bachelorette party, which, in and of itself, was easily one of the most eventful things that happened last year…

February came and I turned 28 and celebrated with my girl gang at a library themed, Oscar Wilde bar. We got LIT-erary. I still find that fucking hilarious. We ended the night at our favorite watering hole, The good old Owl and ended up getting called The Spice Girls which was actually such a revelation for us (and even though Nicole wasn’t there, she somehow was the fifth we needed and the universe fucking knew it.)

About a week or so later, me, Bethany and Lo flew across the fucking pond. We traveled London, Liverpool and Edinburgh for a week and froze our bloody arse’s off. In London, Lauren and I had a most memorable night where we were both kissed by a rose and wound up and a Beyonce bash, complete with face masks of Bey and all. I was catcalled in the most British way possible: “Oi, that’s a big bottom!” and I ended up meeting a guy we referred to as Mr. Grey for the better part of the year. He and I would, uh, well, fuck it. We’d have facetime sex at like, the most awkward hours and tbh it was sexy and made me feel great and I walked a little lighter and enjoyed how silly it was for a while. Of course, it ended a few months in, as these things often do, but I can’t deny the fun I had and I feel like I shouldn’t. Everyone should have sex with a sex monster (yes, that’s what I’m going to refer to him as now) at least once in their life. It was a wild ride.

Beebs and I got inked in Liverpool on an absolute whim, and I had a sixty-year-old man tell me about the time he saw Bowie on the Ziggy Stardust tour as we listened to Lorde and he forever immortalized my love of The Thin White Duke on my forearm. This is when I really started letting go last year; I’m not very good at being impulsive. I may appear to be, but deep down I have grave anxiety about pretty much anything I do. I’ve just been lucky enough to have people who are willing to tolerate it and help me work past it in my adult life. But something changed in me in Liverpool, that drunken night where I not only decided I would get inked but thought up the concept mere hours before having it forever, and I can say I completely allowed this new girl to inhabit me and take over for the remainder of the year.

I fell in love with Edinburgh and decided that, should I pursue a Master’s degree in the next few years, I’ll be going to school there. I’ve never felt quite as home as I did there. (I realize I’ve always said that about London, but trust me, if something was ever going to top Lahndo, it must be true love.)

Me and the girls (all sexed up from chatting with all the foreign boys we did) had a most memorable night when we got home getting drunk at a sex store together and spending a collective $800 or so dollars on toys and lingerie. Self-care, bitches.

In March, I watched as my roommates committed to a beautiful forever together. It was also my first time as a bridesmaid, and holy cow are weddings a lot of work. I’ve always said I’ll have a tiny wedding, if not just elope, but holy hell the experience from the inside only solidified that in my mind.

Spring came and went and I grew my hair longer and cut it short again, yearned for warmth and visited my sister in Florida & flew to visit Kris in his newly adopted city of Denver. This is also around the time where I went on a few Tinder dates (Lord, help me) and fell, soul-crushingly head over heels for a guy I met one fleeting day at work…

I took Acid on a third date which resulted in it also being The Last Date, but it made me see text messages as bubbles and I battled a dragon trying to get money from and ATM and watched a Star Wars for the first time (and last time) and had an evening of bad, trippy sex. Nothing like hallucinogenics to make you realize you are not in sync with another person, lol.

So it goes.

I traveled Europe for two weeks with Ellie which was lovely and exhausting. I returned to my beloved Italy, which was huge for me, as I always wanted to go before it had been ten years since the last time I stepped foot in the first foreign country I ever visited. We got drunk in San Marco Square and listened to battling string quartets and fell in love with foreign men we were too afraid to talk to and I was old enough this time around to know not to order a Long Island iced tea from a bartender who barely understood English in the first place…

We eventually, by some form of absolute witchcraft, caught a flight to the tiny Greek island of Santorini and legit lived in a cave house for five days. We walked all over that tiny island and I let the sea breeze cleanse my skin and my hair and my heart and my mind. We watched the sunset every evening as if it were a spectacle to behold (it was—it always is) and just really let ourselves tell time by nature, and how it made our bodies feel. It was really a humbling experience to be in a place that’s so, so small. Going to Athens (via a ten hour ferry ride, mind you) was a bit of culture shock after being so confined for so long. Being in one of the most Eastern cities in Europe, however, really just made my itching to go to the middle east even more dire.

I had a rough summer in terms of mental health; I hate summer flying (& the debilitating crush I mentioned above seemingly saved me—for like a week—and then left just as fleetingly as it arrived and left me in a pretty low place. I still dream about the guy regularly; I had two separate one’s last night.)

I started taking Xanax again. Because, well, life is hard and my roommate has a prescription.

I got to explore the beautiful, beautiful part of Wyoming that is Yellowstone National Park and got to see the beautiful, beautiful human being my best friend is becoming in the process. For a few days we camped, explored, and just really took in nature—even a death storm that threatened to turn our tent into a boat—it was a beautiful experience and I’m glad Nicole has found a place to call her home surrounding her with such beautiful, expressive people.

August came and with the promise of September on its heels, I started to feel like myself again. Virgo season always does it to me; it’s my polar opposite and therefore, my most compatible sign. Ellie and I got another round of impulsive tattoos; strawberries—a quote stolen from Shakespeare that really just became a euphemism for our friendship throughout the year. We went to riot fest and I saw New Order and cried and Paramore (for the first time since I was, like, nineteen… and while we’re in a side note, let me just mention how much After Laughter was very much the soundtrack to my year and I’m not ashamed to admit it) and Ellie cried and we just had a very fun few days in the hot Chicago heat.

I chose to recover from this by getting yet another tattoo; my largest & most intricate to date, so that made for an interesting, but wonderful day. It’s also worth noting that I got it in the south side of Chicago so, like, if I ever go to prison at least I’ve got that going for me.

I returned to Milwaukee and had a riotous night with my girls where I got hit on by two famous band members and it was like, the stuff dreams are made of. I know it’s silly to assign worth to someone’s fame, but you have someone hit on you who has, like, a million Instagram followers & songs in like fifty different movies and see how it makes you feel & then judge me. This also started my love affair with the lesser famous band member who I’ve now entered into some weird “see you around Chicago” love affair thing for the past few months where we both flirt and ignore each other simultaneously. It’s wild.

I saw so many bands and cried to so many songs and discovered so many artists and felt all the things.

Friendsgiving came, and Nicole came, & along with her came The Con X tour. Without getting too into it, that was a huge shifting point for me & 2017 in general. The Con was an album that saved my life both metaphorically & also, like, physically, and to be able to stand outside of the depression that nearly took my life ten years prior and say, loudly, “I am still here and I like my life and sort of like the person I am but I am also trying to become better each and every day and it’s all very much worth it” is beautiful and powerful thing.

My mom and I spent a wonderful weekend in Vancouver, exploring the cold north and even got to go whale watching, which was, honestly, one of the most breathtaking, awe inspiring experiences I’ve ever taken part in. Nothing will make you feel as small as floating in a yellow zodiac in the middle of the ocean surrounded by six Orcas and a baby (but fucking huge!) humpback whale will. Nature does a good job of reminding us of just how insignificant we are.

The holidays just passed and I forgot about two ex-lover’s birthdays until days after each had past. I’m a big fan of dates; so this, too, was a huge thing for me. My Saturn Return stressed me out for months, yet finally arrived, subtlety, yet very directly. I assigned all my turmoil the Mercury Retrograde and the moon’s rotation yet also tried to use that bad air as a way to propel myself further into becoming better in some odd way.

I spent a week at home in Tampa and the past week here in Chicago and I’ve been reflective and passive towards the new year, which is new for me. I celebrated the end of one of my favorite years, Year of the Silver Star, seeing Twin Peaks at one of my favorite venues in the world. I’ve lately adopted such a deep, profound love for Chicago that I can’t say was always there. I’ve always loved it here; don’t get me wrong. But lately I’ve just got this overwhelming sense of pride about living here and the person it’s shaped me to be. I truly live in the greatest city in America; it’s such a quiet, best kept-secret and it’s all fucking mine.

So, in saying goodbye, I realize I am also going to be mourning the death of a good friend to me—2017—in the process. There’s a certain amount of fear that comes after having such a good year. Can anything else compare? Where will I go from here? What does the future hold for my small, insignificant experience on this planet?

At least David Bowie can’t die again.

2018 has had a slow, humble start. I think that’s going to be the theme, though—slow and steady. I’m cautious because I’m aging (twenty-nine in a few weeks. twenty-fucking-nine!) but also because of my fear and understanding of Saturn Return. I was just becoming comfortable with impulsive kb, and am now being faced with a wise, considerate version of myself. I’m really trying to act thoughtfully & with reason.

I will not invite toxic relationships, old or new, into my life. I will not settle for less than what I what, just because I am afraid to voice what I do want. I will not let anything stop my travel plans—and boy, do I have a lot of them for this year.

I will move out of my apartment, my home for the last seven years, in four short months. I will turn a new leaf. I will (finally) graduate college. I will likely have bad sex. But, I will also have good sex. Really, really good sex. I can feel it; it’s vaginal intuition. I will visit India and bask in the beauty of the Taj Mahal and dream of a love so wild that someone might dream of building me something so grand in order to express their feelings for me some day. I will visit Australia and New Zealand, Iceland, China and who knows where else. I will continue to learn about myself, slowly, humbly, and try to embrace the woman I am and the one I want to become.

So, 2018, Year of the Stardust, I salute you and your intrinsic ability to control what’s next for me. I know it’s going to be a transitional year; that’s inevitable. But I will do my best to accept your place in my life with open arms and love. I will try every day to better understand my place in this world, and what’s next for me. I will continue to grow up. I will end my twenties with you!

I eagerly await your lessons and turmoil, & burn sage in beginning you, officially, tonight. (After all, it’s a full moon and that feels more like a fresh start than some mortal-made calendar, anyways.)

Cheers to you, Stardust. May the crumbling of my Silver Star bring only beauty within you.

#personal

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megsblackfirewrites · 7 years

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Anniversary Surprise

Jack heard the whistle behind him and rolled his eyes. For fuck sakes; he was elbow deep in a car engine, why were the Alphas showing up now? He was busy doing his job, for crying out loud! He let out a sigh as he grabbed his grease rag and cleaned off his hands as he stood up.

“Can I help you?” he asked calmly.

The Alpha grinned at him, brown eyes sparkling as she tossed her hair behind her ear. “Just wonderin’ when the show starts,” she said. “Legs like that were made for….”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Jack sighed. “Look, it’s flattering that you find me attractive, but I’m not interested. One, you’re female and two, I have a mate. So, if there’s something you need concerning vehicles, I’m all ears. If you’re just here to harass me over the shape of my ass, the door is that way. Have a nice day.”

The Alpha’s mouth flapped for a moment before she retreated for the door, properly cowed after that horrible display of manners. Jack snorted as he stuffed his hands back into the engine, shooting Jesse a look. The Alpha smirked from the belly of the car he was working on before he rolled out from under it.

“Now I gotta remember that line the next time an Omega is snuggling up against my chest beggin’ me to fuck ‘em,” Jesse laughed.

“People suck,” Jack sighed as he continued working. “If they aren’t hitting on you, they’re insulting you.”

“Maybe you should have your mating mark in full sight,” Jesse shrugged. “It’s how Hanzo keeps everyone from botherin’ him at work.”

“Hanzo works with generally respectful people,” Jack said as he found the source of the blockage and started scrubbing the caked up oil out of the tubing. “Me? I don’t know who’s walking through that door. Someone might just take my mark as a challenge and not respect my boundaries.”

“That’s true,” Jesse sighed as he walked over and peered into the engine. “Who the fuck does this to their car?”

“Someone that didn’t flush the engine properly before switching from synth-oil to vegetable,” Jack grunted. “That axel fixed?”

“Of course,” Jesse nodded as he rolled his head on his neck. “Hmm, how’s Gabe? Haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Busy with his new album,” Jack smiled. “He promised to be home tonight though. He never misses our anniversary.”

“I’m so glad his music took off,” Jesse grinned. “Every penny helps.”

“It does,” Jack sighed happily. “We still have his first album on the mantle. I need to get him something for the wall so he can hang it properly.”

“Not this year?” Jesse asked.

“Was thinking more for his birthday,” Jack shook his head. “Our anniversary is about us, not just his accomplishments.”

“Well, I hope you have a great supper and wonderful sex,” Jesse teased as he ruffled Jack’s golden hair. “Too bad neither of you have a knot.”

“Shut up, Jesse,” Jack laughed as he aimed a swat for his friend’s head. “Only Alphas love their knots. Their Omegas are just indulging their egos.”

“I’ll have you know that Hanzo begs for mine,” Jesse pouted as he ducked the swat.

“Only when he’s in heat,” Jack grinned. “Any other time I’m sure he’s telling you not to put that monster in him.”

Jesse pouted even more before huffing and playfully stomping back over to the car he was working on. He slipped back under it to avoid Jack’s laughter. He knew how stupid some Alphas could be over their knots; a lot of Omegas were just as bad for begging for it when they were horny. It was all around just annoying.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Jack finished the car he was working on and advised the owner to flush their engine before making any other oil change to avoid build up again. They thanked him and left a tip when they paid for the work.

Jack arrived home from work shortly after five. The house was quiet and there was a note stuck to the mirror in the entrance hall. He picked it up as he kicked his work boots off, reading it over with a sad smile.

‘Hey, had to run to the studio really fast. Should be home around 5:30. Supper’s still cooking and will be ready for 6. Don’t get into the dessert, you chowhound. Love you.’

Jack crumpled the note up and headed to the kitchen to throw it out. His mouth was watering at the scent of barbeque ribs in the slow cooker. He lifted the lid just to get a more concentrated smell, drooling a little as all of Gabriel’s ingenious spice rub mixture melded perfectly with the savory barbeque sauce. He put the lid back on quickly and headed to the fridge to see what dessert was waiting for him.

A cookie dough lasagna. Gabriel was trying to fatten him up, it would seem. Not that he minded; his weight had always been an issue. He blamed his father for his wild fluctuations; he couldn’t remember a time where his father had ever been more than one hundred and sixty pounds and skinny as a rake. Gabriel had made it his mission to get Jack on a stable diet that didn’t consist of cheap food and supplements. He was proud to say that he was one hundred and fifty pounds for over a month and his weight wasn’t dropping again.

He grabbed a homemade protein bar out of the crisper and closed the fridge door. He headed for the living room, dropping onto the couch as he thought about what he wanted to watch. He flicked through the channels until he found the news and settled down for what new depressing situation was taking hold of the world.

Gabriel arrived home shortly after 5:30. “Sorry, honey,” Gabriel called as he kicked the door shut. “Recording took longer than I thought.”

“That’s fine,” Jack smiled as he got to his feet. “I didn’t waste away from loneliness.”

Gabriel smiled as he walked over and kissed Jack warmly. “Sorry; Ana can be a taskmaster,” he said as he held Jack close. “How was work?”

“Work,” Jack shrugged. “Cars were fixed and Alphas were put in their place.”

“Good,” Gabriel frowned. “I’m so sick of them hitting on you. It’s not even flirting; it’s disgusting pick-up lines as if you’re going to let them fuck them in the backseat of the car!”

“I know,” Jack smiled as he pressed his forehead against Gabriel’s. “Who needs Alphas?”

“Not us,” Gabriel smiled back. “God, that pork smells amazing.”

They walked into the kitchen together just as the phone rang. Gabriel grinned before he went to answer it, bringing the handheld over to the table.

“Hey, Mama,” he called as he put the phone on speaker. “How’re you?”

“Doing just fine, my boy,” Gabriel’s mother replied in Spanish. “How’re my favourite sons?”

“We’re your only sons, Mama,” Jack teased as he sat down beside Gabriel. “And we’re fine.”

“That’s good to hear, Jackie. I was worried. I know you both work so hard and sometimes ends don’t meet. I sent some money to your account, Gabi. Did you get it?”

“I did,” Gabriel shook his head. “I used it to pay off a few bills. Thank you.”

It didn’t matter that Jack and Gabriel made more than enough to get by, Reina Reyes still worried about her youngest child. Jack knew she did the same for all of her children, sending them money whenever the newest royalty cheque rolled in from her time in the most popular Mexican blockbusters of the decade, but always called Gabriel immediately.

“Oh good! What are your plans for the evening?”

“Supper, dessert, and then cuddling on the couch,” Gabriel smiled at Jack.

“And grandbaby-making?” she teased.

“Mother, relax,” Gabriel cackled. “We’re still young!”

“And waiting for another heat to roll around,” Jack agreed.

“You still haven’t had yours yet, Jackie?” Reina asked. Jack could almost hear her frown.

“No,” he admitted. “It should happen soon though. My weight’s stabilized.”

“That’s good,” Reina sighed. “I know heats suck, but they’re healthy.”

“I know, Mama,” Jack soothed. “I’ll let you know when I feel it approaching.”

The timer went off beside the crockpot and Gabriel hurried to turn it off. Jack continued talking with Reina as Gabriel put supper on plates and carried them over. Jack licked his lips at the smell of perfectly cooked pork ribs, cooked vegetables, and wild rice. He thanked his mate and kissed his lips, smiling as Gabriel said his good-byes to Reina and hung up the phone. Gabriel nuzzled him as he rose to put the phone away.

“Oh, can you get something out of the oven?” he asked. “I have to grab something in the living room.”

Jack lifted an eyebrow as he got to his feet. “Okay?” he replied as he headed for the stove.

He opened the oven and stared at the loaf of buns sitting on the top rack. There was a note that said “surprise!” stuck to the top of it. He pulled the package out and frowned at it. Why the Hell would Gabriel put a package of buns in the…?

He let out a gasp and whipped around, grinning at his mate. “Really!?” he demanded.

Gabriel grinned and nodded. “Yup.”

“How far along?” Jack asked as he hurried over and covered Gabriel’s cheeks in kisses.

“Sixteen weeks,” Gabriel said as his eyes teared up. “I have an ultrasound next week to sex the baby.”

Jack felt tears burning his eyes and sniffled. “Holy shit, Gabe,” he whispered. “We’re going to be dads!”

Gabriel nodded and hugged him close. “Good present?” he asked.

“The best!” Jack laughed. “Sort of blows my signed copy of Guns ’N’ Roses’ first album out of the water.”

Gabriel pulled away and stared at him in awe. “You got me a signed copy?” he whispered.

“It was a bitch to find, but yes,” Jack smiled.

“You are amazing,” Gabriel said as he kissed Jack’s face. “I’ll take it after supper. I’m starving and so is Jackie Jr.”

Jack let out an excited squeal. He was going to be a dad! He couldn’t believe it; after years of fertility problems, they were finally going to have their baby! And Gabriel, healthy, strong, successful Gabriel, was going to be carrying their little belly-bean.

“You’re going to be a great mom,” Jack murmured as he held his mate’s hand. “I know it.”

“And you’ll be a fantastic dad,” Gabriel smirked. “Finally, someone else will suffer your horrible puns with me.”

“My puns are ingenious, you ungrateful man,” Jack pouted playfully before he knelt down. He nuzzled his face against Gabriel’s belly and rest his cheek against the tiny swell. “Hello, little one,” he cooed. “I can’t wait to meet you.”

“I’m certain they can’t wait to meet you too,” Gabriel chuckled as he ran his fingers through Jack’s hair. “Finally put a face to the man that rocks them to sleep so well every night.”

Jack let out a snort of laughter before he stood up. He kissed Gabriel deeply, pulling his mate in close. His head was still reeling; they were going to be fathers! In a few months they were going to have a baby in their house. They were going to have a baby!

“Did you tell your mom?” Jack asked as he pulled away.

“I did; she’s good at pretending she doesn’t have a clue,” Gabriel smiled and kissed him. “Mmm, you should call your parents. They’ll be happy to hear this.”

“After supper,” Jack promised as he pulled his mate over to the table and sat down. “We’re going to be dads, Gabe!”

“We are,” Gabriel squirmed happily in his seat. “Finally. And, when they’re old enough, we’ll adopt another little baby.”

“Yes,” Jack sighed in relief as he tore the bone of of his ribs and stuffed the meat into his mouth. “This is amazing, Gabe! You outdid yourself.”

“It is good,” Gabriel agreed as he closed his eyes blissfully. “Fuck, I’m good.”

“You are,” Jack purred as he leaned over to kiss his mate’s cheek. “My darling. My beautiful moonlight. My….”

“Honey,” Gabriel smiled at him. “I get it.”

“I need more nicknames,” Jack sighed as he sat back in his chair. “Or better ones.”

“Jack, you could call me a ‘cocksucking asshole’ and say it with the sweetest smile and I would love it,” Gabriel laughed. “I don’t need a thousand pet names. I just need you.”

Jack felt tears spring to his eyes. “We’ve been mates for years and you still manage to make me get all choked up every single time you say that,” he sniffled.

Gabriel set his fork down and scooted his chair closer. He kissed Jack tenderly, nuzzling against his cheek. Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel’s shoulders, whimpering happily as his mate whispered more sweetness into his ear.

Who needed an Alpha when his Omega mopped the floor with all their macho bullshit?

#Reaper76 #abo dynamics #mpreg

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itsnebulous · 5 years

Text

BOND THROUGH BANDS

Well I know when you're around ‘cause I know the sound I know the sound, of your heart... bzzz bzz bzz

I woke up by the annoying vibration of my alarm, I checked the time and good lord my alarm has been buzzing for about half an hour now! I don't remember snoozing it off but damn my train for London leaves in 20 minutes. My earphones are tangled all over my neck. I could literally hear my mum inside my head saying “You should not sleep with your earphones on Bailee!” I'm sorry mum but your loving daughter just did. I must have fallen asleep again while on my phone last night. It has become my habit now to pass out while scrolling through my socials, I mean that's just pure talent. Music is my thing but not in the way that I'm great at instruments. It's just that I love listening to bands.

As I hurry to the bathroom to take a shower, I tripped over my sketchbooks. I don't remember my flat being this messy. Dirty clothes are piling on the chair beside my disastrous closet, books are everywhere on the dusty carpet. The only thing in order are my shelves of books and music albums which is also now getting dusty. Surprisingly the kitchen area is clean, maybe because I am always out at the city to eat out with my classmates after school. I got out of the shower with ten minutes to spare. I have no time for my indecisiveness on what clothes to wear so I pulled off my go-to outfit. I tucked my favourite yellow sweater on my jeans and put on my worn out Converse then grabbed my coat that is hung on the back of my door before sprinting to the elevator.

As I got out on the streets, tourists are everywhere, typical for Brighton though even if it's freezing cold. But today is warmer, the sun is actually out which is very unusual for December. I'm almost near at the station when Lily texted me:

“BAILEE WHERE ARE U?!”

But before I can even type my answer, she called

“Sis the train is about to leave in two minutes” I can imagine with her tone how pissed she is at me.

“I’m almost there. I’m like twenty steps away”

“That better be not a lie”

“I swear it's not- and oh she already hang up”.

We made it to London without having a fight. She is already used to my shenanigans on my morning routines which always make me late. Lily is just pressed that I missed breakfast with her at the cafe.

“Why on Earth are you late this time my beloved friend? Bet you had your concert again while in the shower”, she said sarcastically.

“Oh stop it, you know I can't miss my singing ritual whilst in the shower”, I teased her.

“Also, I'm not late duh I made it exactly at 8 am”. Lily has always been the early bird kind of friend during meet ups and I am most certainly the buzzer beater type.

Roaming around the city of London is always my favourite. I have lived here three years ago when I first came to England yet every time I walk along its streets and pass by its shops, I keep falling in love like it's the first time. The telephone booths are still class even though no one uses it. Everything about this city is so aesthetic. Lily and I spent half of the day going through some of the places London is known for as if we are tourists.

“It's ridiculous that I've lived in London most of my life but still haven't ridden this until now". We are now inside a carriage on top of the London eye.

“ I can't say the same. I mean I lived here only a few years back and I even barely go out then but it's never too late to be a tourist you know”.

The view on top is amazing, cityscape and sunset is picture perfect. I just wish that I am seeing this with Matty right now if he hadn't left me. I guess this is it again, I have fallen on my whirlpool of grief that keeps dragging me down. It's been years but why didn't I learn to handle the pain.

2 years ago...

London street is busy as ever yet the holiday spirit is very alive. Every one on the city is on their layered coats as it is freezing cold. It's two more weeks until Christmas and the shops are all packed with those who are gift shopping. I am probably the most loneliest person in London because I actually have no one to celebrate Christmas with as I just moved. I have Lily and our friends but they’re all going home for the holidays.

Today is the last day of school before our Christmas break so we planned a night out at Winter Wonderland.

“Here's the thing Bailee, a Christmas holiday of a typical London resident wouldn't be complete without a night here", Millie said as we walk toward the entrance of the giant Christmas carnival. Millie is my street smart friend who always got my back the first time I got in London.

“Really?”, and as I ask this I confirmed what Millie just said, the place is crowded and sparkly with its lights. The people are in their high spirits as they are in queue for the rides. I could never be that person who is excited for the rides. Before I even know it, my friends are already in line calling me to join them.

“BAILEE AREN'T YOU GOING TO JOIN US?”, Josh screamed.

“ I'D RATHER WATCH YOU FROM HERE. I'M SCARED OF HEIGHTS.”, I answered. The music is getting loud now from what I hear from the people passing by is from the beer tent.

“ARE YOU SURE???” asked Lily looking concerned.

“YEAHHHH, MEET YOU AT THE BEER TENT MAYBE?”

I barely heard their answer but I'm sure I heard Millie say “oh she'll do just fine, she can manage now". Thanks Millie for your confidence but I am actually anxious going alone inside the beer tent. But I am eager to see what's going on in there because I can hear a band playing.

There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls ‘Cause I'd fall again.

“Holy cow they are singing a Blossoms' song" , I whispered to myself out of excitement.

I made my way in front of the crowd. The people inside the tent are all chattery and loud but I could only hear the song playing, my favourite song. I caught the vocalist' attention maybe because of my aggressiveness to get in front. I got lost on his gaze, his deep blue eyes melted me, the curls of his hair is so soft. It is their last song to play. After they played, he went to sit beside me which is weird because we don't even know each other.

“Hi” he said shyly.

A cute band vocalist who is a stranger just talked to me, how am I supposed to reply. “Hello?”

“You sound so confused" he said giggling.

“Uhmmm yes? I am confused because a stranger who just sung my favourite song is talking to me out of context”, I blurted out.

“Oh I actually approached you because of your reaction while we were playing ‘your favourite song’ "

“Why so?”

“Because it's so obvious that you really like the song and you were the only one here who seems to appreciate it. Does it remind you of someone?”

“Honestly no, I just really love it. The tune, its lyrics is just perfect for me.”

“Guess we are the same then".

After my weird moment with that guy, my friends finally came to have a beer. Mr. Stranger was about to leave when I asked his name.

“It's Matty”

That's how Matty and I started. After that night, he invited me to watch shows and gigs. The drive back home is always my favourite. We take detours just to spend more time talking about each other with good music on the background.

“Cityscapes are just beautiful, aren't they?” I said while looking out the window.

“Not as beautiful and bright as you”

“Stop being so cute please”, that's the only reaction I could do with his smooth cheesy lines.

As months of hanging out together goes by, we fall deeper and deeper with each other. Matty gave my room a make over. Ever since I moved in London my flat doesn't look like home so he gave it an artistic touch. He painted the walls, built me a desk and shelves. We also hung posters of our favourite bands. After redecorating my room, it now feels home and cosy. He stayed until midnight so that we could listen to the new album of the 1975 together.

“I guess this could be our new jam then" he said with enthusiasm in his eyes.

“I love the idea", I answered.

I knew he was already sleepy when he said goodnight before driving back home. I didn't want him to drive anymore because it's already late but he insisted because he's worried about his sister so I let him.

“Call me when you get home ok? Drive safely”

“Ok I love you” he said.

I don't recall the next months after. It is as blurry as when my tears won't stop falling for him. Matty have left me. Matty never returned my calls not because he's scared of falling again for me. He never returned my calls because he's gone. How I wish we could've said our goodbyes. I should've said I love you too while I still can. But it is all too late now.

Matty is the reason why I moved to Brighton. Everything about London reminds me of him especially at this time. He once asked me to ride the London eye with him but I refused because I was scared and anxious.. What I did not know is could never see this view with him anymore. I should have said yes back then but my anxiety ate me. Up until now his memory still haunts me even in Brighton. I never had the courage to clean up my room because I keep remembering when he decorated my room. Now I can finally say that ‘There's a Reason Why (I Never Returned Your Calls) by Blossoms reminds me of someone.

Before I even get drowned by my whirlpool of grief, Lily brought me back to reality.

“Bailee are you alright?”

“Yeah I think I am"

I still find parts of you. In the corners of my bedroom. Someday comes too soon. The radio plays our favourite tune again.

#creativewriting

0 notes

thelastspeecher · 7 years

Text

Stan-at-Home - Chapter 3: Consequences

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 AO3

Holy cow this is probably the longest chapter I’ve ever written. I just had so much content I needed to squeeze into it. There’s a lot of hurt/comfort here, and Stan’s babs don’t really make any appearances. But we do get to meet Stan’s probably-a-dog, Apple! Also in this chapter, Ford realizes that maybe asking your twin brother to abandon his family isn’t the best idea. Enjoy.

“D-daddy, what’s going on?” Stan stared helplessly at his daughters, who were both shaking in fear. He was bloodied and bruised from Rico’s goons roughing him up, but the thing that hurt him the most was seeing his family in danger. At least the girls weren’t tied up, unlike him and Angie.

“It’ll be okay, sweetheart,” Stan choked out. He tried to hold back his tears. He had to be strong for them. “We’ll be outta here soon. Just close your eyes.” Danny and Daisy looked at him with identical disbelieving expressions. “Trust me, pumpkin.”

“Do what yer daddy says,” Angie said in a quavering voice. Daisy and Danny clung to each other tighter and finally closed their eyes. Stan looked over at Angie. She was biting her lip, shaking from fear, as Rico held a gun to her head.

“Shut up, bitch,” Rico snarled, whacking the back of her head with the gun.

“Cut it out, Rico!” Stan yelled. “Leave them alone! I don’t care what ya do to me, just don’t hurt my family!” He heard one of the girls let out a choked sob. His heart broke.

“Stan, you deserve hell, for thinking we wouldn’t find you.”

“Kill me, then! Let my wife and kids go, then end me.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll do that,” Rico said. “But I know the only way to really hurt you. You’ve never cared about your own life. You’ve always been weak for those you love. We’ll kill you. But you’ll watch your wife die first.” The girls began to cry in earnest. Rico cocked the gun being held against Angie’s head. Stan watched in horror as her terrified eyes met his, pleading for something. Tears finally began to stream down Stan’s face.

“Angie, I’m- I’m so sorry for all of this,” Stan sobbed. “You and the girls, ya don’t deserve any of it.” Tears leaked from the corner of Angie’s eyes. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love ya, Stanley,” Angie whispered back. Rico pulled the trigger.

There was a shot.

-----

Stan sat bolt upright, every part of him shaking from panic.

Angie! Stan shoved the sleeping dog off his legs and fumbled out from the bed he’d made on the couch. He made his way to his bedroom, cracked the door open, and walked over to Angie’s side of the bed. She was fast asleep, her petite face relaxed and calm. Stan stared at her for a few seconds, trying to slow his heartrate. He reached out a trembling hand and tucked a strand of hair behind one of her ears. Angie smiled faintly and mumbled something in her sleep. He blinked away a few tears. It was just a dream. Just a dream. Stan took a deep breath. A pretty damn realistic dream. But just a dream. He leaned over and kissed Angie on the forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered to her. Still asleep, she smiled again.

“Love ya,” she said softly. Stan stroked her cheek one last time before exiting their room. On his way to the kitchen for a glass of water, he checked on the girls.

Still sleeping. Good. He closed the door quietly. It was just a dream, Stan. Just a dream. He walked into the kitchen and turned on the light. Stan took a startled step backward, surprised to see his twin sitting at the table.

“Ford? What are ya doin’, sittin’ alone in the dark?” Stan asked.

“I’m not sure where are the light switches are,” Ford mumbled.

“It’s two in the morning, why aren’t ya in bed?” Ford looked away. Stan sighed. “Nightmares?” Ford nodded.

“Bill won’t let me go,” Ford said softly. Stan joined his twin at the kitchen table. “What about you? Why are you up?” Stan shrugged.

“Same reason.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yup.”

“What about?” Ford asked. Stan drummed his fingers on the table, mentally debating whether or not to tell Ford.

Eh. Might as well.

“I was only a drifter for a few years, but I still fell in with some bad people,” Stan said, looking away. “And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop thinkin’ they’re gonna find me again, and hurt the girls and Angie.” He took a shuddering breath as he attempted to fight back the vivid details from his dream. “I know what they’d do to my family, and it- it’s real nightmare fuel, Sixer.”

“Have you talked to Angie about this?” Ford asked. Stan laughed hollowly.

“Tell my wife I have nightmares where she gets killed in front of me and our kids? No fuckin’ way. She’s got enough anxiety as it is.”

“Fiddleford struggled with anxiety as well,” Ford said softly. Stan nodded.

“Runs in the McGucket family. Angie and I are tryin’ to keep a close eye on the girls, so that if they end up bein’ the same way as their ma, we can nip it in the bud.” He sighed. “Really hope they don’t, though. My kids deserve better than that.” Stan frowned at the expression Ford was giving him. “What?”

“I’m just…so surprised by how devoted you are to your children.”

“Like me carin’ ‘bout my family is somethin’ new? It’s the same as when I beat up Crampelter for ya, when we were kids.”

“What are you gents doin’ in the kitchen at 2am?” a groggy voice asked. Stan and Ford looked over. Angie stood in the entrance of the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. “Get some dang sleep.”

“We, uh, needed a break,” Stan said. Angie frowned at him.

“A break from sleep?” Realization dawned. “Did the two of ya have nightmares or somethin’?” Stan rubbed the back of his neck.

“Y-yeah,” he mumbled. Angie walked over and sat on his lap, then wrapped her arms around him.

“It’ll be okay,” she whispered, nuzzling her head against his neck. “It was just a dream.” Stan wrapped an arm around her torso and squeezed her tightly. Well aware of the intimate nature of their interactions, Ford’s gaze dropped to the table.

“I know,” Stan said quietly. Noises began to come from the living room. “Ah, shit, that dog better not be messin’ with anything it shouldn’t be,” Stan grumbled. Angie gave him a peck on the cheek.

“I can take care of it, darlin’. Try to go back to sleep, okay?”

“No, no, you need your sleep. I’m gonna be up for a while anyways.” Angie stroked Stan’s face.

“Ya sure?”

“Yeah. Go back to bed. Maybe Ford and I can take the thing for a walk.” Stan looked over at Ford. “Not completely sure Apple’s actually a dog.”

“Oh, hush,” Angie said softly. She got up, gave Stan another kiss, nodded at Ford, and left.

“Still can’t believe you even have a dog,” Ford said. Stan stood up with a shrug. He walked into the living room and turned on the light.

“Kids wanted one. They spent a weekend at their grandparents’, and Angie’s folks live on a farm, so they were around all sortsa animals. When we picked ‘em up, the girls wouldn’t stop askin’ for a pet. They wanted either a dog or a horse. Dog seemed like the better decision, what with us livin’ in the city.” Stan looked around the living room. He finally found the dog, digging through a stack of books near the coffee table. “Hey! Cut it out!” Apple barked. “Shut it! You’ll wake up the kids,” Stan hissed, marching over to Apple and grabbing his collar. The dog whined softly and licked Stan’s legs. Stan sighed, his anger gone. “Damn dog knows how to charm everyone.” Stan looked over at Ford. “Come on in here and meet the pooch.” Ford stood hesitantly.

“I don’t know, Stanley. I’m not that good with animals.”

“C’mon, this thing’s the nicest dog ever. Hasn’t even growled at anything yet,” Stan said. “Likes to make messes, but other than that, pretty well-behaved.” Ford cautiously approached the dog. It was a living, breathing small mound of gray and black fur.

“Is the dog somewhere under all that hair?” Ford muttered. Stan chuckled. His laughter was cut short by Apple suddenly bounding at Ford.

“Apple, what the hell?” Stan said. Ford stared at the furry muzzle in front of his face. Apple emitted a low growl. Ford tried to move, but stopped when Apple snarled at him. “Apple, cut it the fuck out!” Stan barked, pulling the dog off Ford. Apple continued to growl at Ford. “Hot Belgian waffles, Ford, what did ya do, roll in about twenty other dogs?” Stan demanded.

“I’m- I’m wearing your clothes, Stanley,” Ford pointed out. His heart was racing, something he was not pleased by.

I can go toe-to-toe with an actual dragon in Gravity Falls without my heartrate rising, but I get nervous about my brother’s small dog not liking me?

“Huh. You’re right.” Stan stared at the dog he was still holding back. “Maybe this dog just…doesn’t like ya. Which I guess means ya shouldn’t join me on its walk.”

“Probably not,” Ford agreed. Stan sighed. He picked up Apple and carried him out of the living room. A few minutes later, Stan returned, Apple safely secured on a leash.

“All right, we’ll be back in, I dunno, fifteen?” Stan said, opening the front door. “Don’t wait up.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Ford replied. The door closed with a firm thud.

Now is the perfect time to investigate. Everyone is asleep or gone. Ford looked over at the pile of books Apple had been pawing through. That seems like a good place to start. He picked up a binder and turned it over to look at the cover.

“Danica and Daisy,” he read out loud. “Hmm.” Ford flipped the book open to the first page. He frowned at the blurry black and white image plastered onto thick paper. “What is that?” It was clearly printed off from somewhere. He scanned the page for hints. Below the image was a simple caption.

“Twins!” it read, in excited, neat handwriting. Ford blinked.

This must be the first sonogram. He examined the sonogram with a bit more interest, managing to make out the fetuses that would become the girls. A small smile played at his lips. This is the first picture ever of my nieces. He could picture Stan and Angie at the appointment, excited and surprised.

Ford flipped through the binder, which he now realized was a photo album chronicling Danny and Daisy’s childhood thus far. After the sonogram were various pictures taken of Stan and Angie preparing for their children. Ford stopped at the page with Angie’s baby shower, catching a familiar face out of the corner of his eye. His heart leapt into his mouth at the sight of Fiddleford excitedly hugging his younger sister. He tore himself away from the picture of his former partner, exuberant and healthy. His gaze instead landed on an adjacent picture, clearly taken after the party. Stan was sitting on a couch, his heavily pregnant wife leaning against him, asleep. Ford swallowed at the loving gaze Stan was giving Angie.

Dammit, Stanley. Ford wasn’t sure why he was cursing Stan’s name. Envy, maybe? Or perhaps he was just frustrated, knowing how much more difficult it would be to convince Stan to leave. He turned the page, agitated. The next few pages were devoted exclusively to pictures of Danny and Daisy, presumably short after their birth, judging by their reddened, wrinkled skin. Ford skimmed the photos of Angie and two young men, likely older brothers of hers, cooing at the infants. He turned another page. His heart stopped.

“Damn,” he whispered. The page had one photo. It was of Stan holding Daisy. Even though all infants looked the same to Ford, he could tell which child it was, given that Stan was holding her six-fingered hand. A single tear was sliding down Stan’s cheek as he stared at his newborn daughter.

I can’t imagine what’s going through his mind, or what all he’s feeling. Ford stared at the picture, wondering if he could interpret the complex expression on Stan’s face; one of joy and love but also sadness, regret, and nostalgia. After a few minutes, Ford closed the photo album. I…I can’t ask him to leave, can I? He’d never do it. He loves this family he’s built. He loves them too much to be away, or to leave them all alone. The front door opened.

“Ford, I’m back from the walk!” Stan called.

If I can’t give Stan the journal, what am I going to do? Ford continued to stare silently at the photo album as Stan put the dog away and eventually joined him on the floor.

“Whatchya lookin’ at, Sixer?” Stan asked. Ford handed the photo album to him without saying a word. “Oh. This thing. Yeah, Angie insisted on makin’ a photo album for the girls.” Ford put his head in his hands. “Is somethin’ wrong?”

“I-” Ford started, but he didn’t finish. Stan frowned.

“What’s goin’ on?”

“I haven’t told you why I came,” Ford said.

“Uh, yeah, ya did. Ya came here because ya got mixed up with some bad guy named Bill, and ya needed to lay low, get some help, whatever.”

“That’s not the entirety of it. My intent was…to ask you to take my research, and leave.”

“Leave?”

“Yes. Leave. Go somewhere far away. The ends of the Earth. Somewhere Bill’s minions wouldn’t find my research.” Ford shook his head. “But I can’t ask you to do that anymore. You- you have a family. And your kids, your wife, even that thing you call a dog, they’re your entire world now, aren’t they?” After a moment, Stan nodded.

“Yeah. They are,” he said softly.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ford whispered, tears beginning to run down his face. “Bill, he- he’ll follow me anywhere I go. He’ll never leave me. This- this was my last chance, the only plan that might end with Bill finally breaking his ties to me.”

“Ford…”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a plan, Stanley.” Ford chuckled hollowly, feeling his exhausted mind finally begin to unravel. “In my state, I wouldn’t be able to come up with one, anyways. Bill won’t let me sleep. He won’t let me enjoy spending time with you and your family. He’s pulling my strings, turning me into his puppet whenever he wants and I-”

“Ford. Stop.” Stan wrapped an arm around his twin and pulled him into a tight hug. “You’re havin’ some sorta breakdown. Followin’ your thoughts will only make it worse. Just take a few deep breaths. Don’t think of anything.” Stan could feel Ford gradually get calmer. “Better?” Ford nodded silently. Stan let go. Ford looked away, hurriedly rubbing tear tracks off his face.

“How did you-”

“Angie’s had breakdowns before. After the girls were born, she- she went through a really rough time.” Stan shrugged. “Doc told me what to do to calm her down.” He eyed his twin, concerned. “Ford, how bad are things for ya?”

“I-” Ford started to say that he could handle it, but thought better. “I’d say I don’t know how they could be any worse, but that feels like tempting fate,” he said quietly. Stan nodded. “And I legitimately have no idea how to fix what’s gone wrong. Asking you to flee with my research, that was my last hope.”

“I’m no scientist or paranormal researcher or whatever,” Stan said, “but it doesn’t seem like that would actually have helped ya.” Ford was silent. “Look, Ford, I- I don’t like seein’ ya like this. I don’t know what we’re gonna do, but we’ll figure somethin’ out.”

“You’d do that?”

“Stanford, you’re my twin. We have our issues, yeah, but I’m not gonna watch ya have some sort of prolonged mental breakdown and do nothin’ just ‘cause my dog doesn’t like ya.” Stan looked at the clock on the wall. “Why don’t ya go back to sleep, and we can talk more in the mornin’.”

“I can’t sleep,” Ford whispered.

“Then read a book or, I dunno, lay on the floor for a while and stare at the ceiling. Ya need rest, Ford, even if it’s not sleep.”

“Very well.” Ford reluctantly got up. Stan watched him leave, dread building in his chest. After the door to the guest bedroom had closed, Stan stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Rather than getting a glass of water from the tap, like he had planned, he opened the topmost liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of whisky.

-----

Ford woke up at 4:50, like usual. As he sat in the dark guest room, waiting for…something, his gaze slid over to the bookshelf by the window. Unbidden, a memory surfaced.

“Don’t store yer books on the floor, Stanford,” Fiddleford grumbled, after having stubbed his toe against a thick volume on particle physics.

“There’s no space in my room,” Ford said without looking up.

“Then keep ‘em in the guest room. That’s what my fam’ly does, when the bookshelves in our rooms get too full.”

Ford stood and walked over to the bookshelf. He squinted at the titles before realizing that he probably should have turned on the light. After a moment, he grabbed a random book and went back to the bed, where he turned on the bedside lamp. The book he had selected was, of all things, a novelization of the second Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back.

That’s my favorite film. Why would Stan have it in his guest room? Ford shrugged his curiosity away and opened the book.

Ford had just finished reading the book when he heard the distinct sound of an alarm clock going off. He glanced at the clock. It was now 6:45. He placed the book on the bedside table and made his way to the door. Ford opened the door at the same time that Angie, looking near-delirious, opened hers. She blinked owlishly at him for a few moments.

I can practically hear the gears turning in her head. Does she not remember me? Finally, recognition dawned, and she smiled sheepishly.

“Mornin’, Stanford,” she said in a voice thick from sleep. “Were ya up long?”

“…No, I woke up when your alarm clock went off,” Ford lied.

No sense in making her concerned about my sleep schedule. That’s my own burden to bear. Angie grimaced.

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

“It’s no problem,” Ford said reassuringly.

“Hmm. If ya say so. How’s ‘bout some breakfast?” she said. Ford nodded.

“That sounds excellent.” He followed her down the hallway and into the living room. Stan was still fast asleep on the couch, but the dog must have been put in its kennel, as it was nowhere to be found. Angie gestured at the table, indicating for Ford to take a seat, before walking over to Stan and kissing him on the forehead.

“Mornin’, sweet potata,” she said gently. Stan stretched.

“Mornin’,” Stan said. Ford smiled absently at the tenderness between Stan and Angie, as they continued to talk in low tones. He looked around the kitchen.

Where’s the coffeepot?

Everything went black.

-----

Ford abruptly came to. He was face down on the kitchen floor, his nose squashed against the linoleum. Someone was pinning him to the ground.

“Stanley?” Ford said, his voice muffled. “Why are you holding me down?”

“Ya grabbed a fork off the counter and started stabbin’ yourself,” his twin replied.

“That wasn’t me. That was Bill.”

“How was that Bill?” Angie asked.

“Bill can…possess people who have given him permission,” Ford explained.

“Why the hell did ya give him permission?” Stan demanded. Ford sighed.

“It’s complicated. Now, are you going to let me up or not?”

“Until ya can prove it was Bill who did that, I’m not lettin’ ya go.”

“Stanley, please,” Ford said desperately.

“His voice is back to normal,” Angie added.

“…Fine.” Stan let go of Ford. Ford pushed himself up into a sitting position, ignoring the painful wounds on his arms.

“Never thought I’d have to clean blood off my kitchen floor,” Angie said. Her attempt at a lighthearted tone was marred by her voice quavering. Ford looked at his sister-in-law. She gasped. “Yer eye!” Ford gingerly touched his eye. His fingers came away damp with blood.

“Damn,” he whispered. “It’s- it’s a side effect of Bill’s possession. Nothing to worry about.”

“Yeah, right,” Stan scoffed. He helped Ford stand up. “Let’s get ya to the ER.”

“No!” Ford said immediately. “I can’t go to the hospital!”

“Ya stabbed yourself with cutlery and your eye is bleedin’,” Stan said. “You’re goin’.”

“Stanley, what would the doctors do if you told them I entered some sort of fugue state, wounded myself, and then blamed it on a demon?”

“They’d have ya institutionalized,” Angie said softly.

“We don’t mention Bill,” Stan suggested. Angie shook her head.

“If we told ‘em he harmed himself, they’d place him under observation, at least. At most, they’d still institutionalize him.” Stan rubbed his face, frustrated.

“And we’d be dealin’ with cops if we say he got attacked. And no one would believe it was an accident. Well, shit.” Stan looked at Angie. “You’ve got first-aid trainin’, right?”

“Yessir,” Angie replied. “I’ll get the kit, see if I can’t patch him up. In the meantime, Ford…”

“Yes?” Ford asked. Angie smiled apologetically.

“Would ya mind standin’ over the sink? I hate to ask ya, but yer drippin’ blood all over the kitchen floor.”

“Oh. Right.” Ford walked over to the sink and watched bright red liquid drip onto the white porcelain.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” Stan said, joining him at the counter. “Angie can have…issues if things aren’t clean enough. Especially when guests are visiting.” Stan sighed. “Pretty sure it’s another thing that runs in her fam’ly.”

“Fiddleford was similar,” Ford said softly.

“‘Was’?”

“The last time I saw Fiddleford, he clearly didn’t care about cleanliness any more.” There were footsteps.

“I’m back,” Angie said. “Stanford, go ahead and take a seat at the table, would ya?” Ford covered his eye to prevent further dripping on the peach linoleum. Stan gently guided him to a chair next to Angie. Angie was busily unpacking the first aid kit, setting aside bandages and antiseptics. She looked at him and pursed her lips.

“…What?” Ford asked. Angie sighed.

“I just ain’t sure what to do ‘bout yer eye. I could try to bandage it, but I don’t want it to fester,” she replied. After a moment, she took out a roll of gauze. “Here, hold this under it until it stops bleedin’.” Ford did as he was told. Angie scooted her chair closer to his and took one of his arms, then began to dab a damp cotton ball on his wounds. Ford hissed slightly from the stinging. “It hurts?” Angie asked. Ford nodded. “Good. That means it’s workin’.”

“So, Ford, does this possession thing happen very often?” Stan asked. Ford shrugged, making Angie cluck her tongue disapprovingly at the movement.

“It happens when Bill wants it to happen, essentially. Though it normally would only happen if I was unconscious.”

“Hon, the bags under yer eyes are big enough fer me to use as a purse,” Angie said. “Usin’ common sense, I’d say that yer at risk in this state.” She tilted her head. “Sort of like the immune system. Sometimes yer more sensitive to attacks, sometimes yer less sensitive. ‘N times when yer exhausted, malnourished, or ill, yer more sensitive.”

“I didn’t think about it that way,” Ford said after a moment. Angie cracked a half-smile.

“Stanford, I’m surprised ya can think anything with how much of a wreck ya are right now.”

“So we need to fix this problem yesterday,” Stan said. Ford nodded. “Okay. How do we do that?”

“Well, first, we need to break any ties I have with Bill,” Ford said. “Then, I can go to Gravity Falls and dismantle the portal, as well as block off the way I initially came into contact with Bill.”

“And help Fiddleford,” Angie added.

“Yes. Of course.”

“All right, the second and third thing seem pretty easy,” Stan said, rubbing his chin. “But how do we do the first part? Some sort of ritual?”

“I’m not quite sure. Maybe.”

“No, sir. No witchcraft in my house,” Angie said immediately.

“Then what are you suggesting?” Ford asked warily. Angie put aside the cotton ball, which was now a light pink.

“How does the possession work?” Angie asked. “Does he take control of a specific portion of yer brain, or all of it, during possession? Can he access yer memories? Are there certain control centers in yer brain that he can’t play train conductor with?” Ford stared at her, his mouth open.

I’ve never thought of the possession from a neurological standpoint before. Why haven’t I?

“I’m…not sure,” he said.

“Then that’s where we’ll start.”

“What?” Stan asked.

“I’ve got a friend what works in Neurology at the hospital,” Angie said. “I’ll call her up, see if I can’t get her to give ya a brain scan.”

“I doubt you’d be able to do a brain scan during a possession,” Ford said. Angie stilled.

“Yer right,” she said softly.

“Then do it while he’s asleep,” Stan suggested. Angie and Ford looked over at him. “You said ya get nightmares from him whenever you fall asleep, right?” Stan asked Ford. Ford nodded. “So he’s in your brain then, right?” Ford nodded again. “I guess it’s not as good as gettin’ the scan while he’s possessed, but it’s a start,” Stan said. Angie beamed at her husband.

“Yer so clever, love,” she said. Stan grinned back at her.

“Not as clever as you.”

“Just as clever,” Angie insisted. “Only in dif’rent ways.” She began to bandage Ford’s arms. “So, Stanford, since yer the guest, and yer ill, what do ya want fer breakfast?” Ford blinked, taken aback by the rapid change in topic.

“Oh. Um, hashbrowns?” he said hesitantly. Angie nodded.

“Stan, would ya get breakfast started while I finish up here?”

“On it,” Stan said. As he walked by Ford on his way to the fridge, Stan clapped a heavy hand on Ford’s shoulder. “See, Sixer? Told ya we’d work somethin’ out.”

Two days later, Ford sat in the living room of his twin’s house and flipped through his journal idly. He looked up at Angie, who was standing at the entrance of the kitchen, on the phone. Ford could hear splashes and chatter coming from the bathroom, where Stan was giving the girls their nightly bath.

“Jenny, are ya adjustin’ to things all right?” Angie asked. “I’ve told ya, Stan ‘n I can take the lil feller off yer hands fer as long as it takes to set things in order.” Ford looked back down at his journal.

I’ve already been here three days. When is the brain scan going to happen? I have to return to Gravity Falls at some point. But even though he was eager to dismantle the portal and finally remove Bill’s grip on his dimension, Ford was hesitant to leave his twin’s home. It’s just so…warm and welcoming. And I hadn’t realized how starved I was for interpersonal interactions.

“Oh, did my ma tell ya ‘bout that? Yes, apparently Stan had an estranged twin, that he never told anyone in my fam’ly about, and that twin is the same person what hired Fidds to work up in Oregon! Ain’t that wild?” Ford shrunk into the armchair he was sitting in, well aware of the fact that Angie was looking directly at him. “Hmm? That’s how I found out, was meetin’ him, yes. Is he still here? I’m lookin’ at him right now. Really?” Angie covered the receiver with her hand. “Ford, Jenny’d like to talk to ya. She’s Fiddleford’s wife.”

“…Oh,” Ford mumbled. Angie pursed her lips.

“Get yourself over here, Stanford. It’s the least ya could do. Jenny don’t have her husband and Tate don’t have his father no more.” Ford nodded reluctantly and stood. He walked over to Angie. “Here he is.” Ford took the phone from her. He cleared his throat.

“Hello, Mrs. McGucket.”

“Stanford Pines.” The voice was smooth and soft, nothing like Fiddleford’s rather rough southern accent. “I’ve been wondering if I should reach out to you. But I decided to wait for a sign. You ending up at my sister-in-law’s house definitely qualifies.”

“Look, I’m sorry for what happened to Fiddleford, I-”

“This isn’t about my husband,” Jenny interrupted. Ford blinked. “It’s about Tate.”

“Y-your son?”

“Your son.” Ford’s heart stopped.

“I, uh, I think I misheard you or-”

“No, you didn’t,” Jenny said in a tired voice. “It’s something Fiddleford and I discussed before we even got engaged. The identity of his son’s other biological parent.”

“But I- it’s impossible for-”

“Tate’s a smart lil boy, with far too much brown hair, pretty blue eyes, and twelve fingers.” Ford’s blood ran cold. “He’s also a bit over six years old. Do you remember meeting Fiddleford for dinner about seven years ago?”

“Y-yes.”

“And do you remember that dinner going very well, and waking up next to Fiddleford the next morning?”

“…Oh. Oh, no.”

“Here’s the thing. Tate is your son, Stanford. And now that his pa is out of the picture, you really need to step up. He needs a father figure in his life.”

“Stan is-”

“-his uncle,” Jenny finished. “Not his dad. No, that’s who you are.” Ford swallowed. “I was going to turn Angie down on her offer to have Tate stay, but if you’re there, well…”

“I’m not planning on staying long,” Ford said hurriedly.

“Then you take him with you when you leave. You’re going to be there for your son, Stanford.”

“I-”

“It was nice to meet you, even if it was just over the phone. Give the phone back to Angie, please? We’ve got to figure out how and when I’m dropping Tate off,” Jenny said pleasantly. Completely numb, Ford handed the phone back to Angie, who had been hovering nearby, trying to act casual.

“Hey there, Jenny,” Angie said cheerfully. “Oh, Tate is goin’ to visit after all? Why, sure! We’ll take good care of him.” Ford walked to the guest bedroom, completely empty. Stan found him sitting in the dark, staring at the wall, an hour later.

“Uh, Ford? What’s goin’ on?” Stan asked, turning on the light. Ford shook his head. Stan closed the door to the hallway and sat down next to Ford on the bed. “Did Jenny really tear ya a new one that bad?”

“She didn’t yell,” Ford said hoarsely. “She- she told me that Tate is my son.” Stan squinted at Ford for a few seconds.

“…What?”

“Stanley, I- I have a son that I didn’t even know about!”

“Tate is your…? Well, now the twelve fingers makes sense.” Ford didn’t say anything. “But holy fuck, Stanford. You’re knockin’ up your assistants?”

“I- Fiddleford wasn’t my assistant back then. Just a dear friend,” Ford said quietly. Stan scoffed.

“Sounds like he was a bit more than that.”

“I- I can’t do this. I’m not ready to be a father, to a child I didn’t even know about,” Ford whispered. He groaned and put his head in his hands. “This- this wasn’t a situation I ever expected to find myself in.”

“What, ‘cause you’re gay?”

“No, because I’m the responsible one.”

“Really?” Ford looked at Stan, startled by the venom in his twin’s tone. “You’re the responsible one? Ya knocked up your old college buddy, and didn’t talk to him in years. So ya never figured out that his son, your son had twelve fingers and was born nine months after you two knocked boots. You’re sittin’ in my damn guest room, just across the hall from where my happy and healthy daughters are sleepin’, stewin’ over how you’re not ready to be a father, and ya can’t do this. But sure, you’re the responsible one.”

“Stanley, I didn’t mean it that way.”

“No, ya did,” Stan snapped. He took a steadying breath. “You didn’t think you’d be the one with a surprise kid. You thought it’d be me. Hell, that’s what I thought, too. But then I fuckin’ manned up. Which is what you need to do now.”

“I can’t.”

“Bullshit. I’m the dumb twin. I don’t know squat. But I figured out how to be a good dad. You, the fuckin’ genius, should be able to do it in half the time it took me.” Stan glared at Ford. “And ya don’t have a choice. Ford, do ya want your kid to have an absent father? Do ya want your son to have a shitty dad, like we had?”

“…No.”

“Then don’t let that happen,” Stan said firmly. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, and if ya need help, well, stayin’ at home and helpin’ with kids is in my job description. But seriously. Whether ya like it or not, you’re gonna be there for Tate. You have to. Understand?” Ford nodded silently. “Good.” Stan stood up and walked over to the door. He opened it, but just before leaving, turned back to Ford. “And Stanford?”

“Yeah?”

“Congrats.”

#Stay at Home Stan AU #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Gravity Falls OC #Angie McGucket #Apple the ''dog''#Mrs. McGucket #Gravity Falls AU #Gravity Falls #Stan at Home #fanfiction #my writing #my stuff #speecher speaks

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bruno-news · 7 years

Text

It’s Joy Time for Bruno Mars

WE’RE JUST CAVEMEN, hitting on rocks,” says Bruno Mars. “It’s no different—you’re a caveman and you got a rock in front of you, you hit it with a stick to get everybody dancing. This is our time to forget about everything, it’s joy time. So who’s the best at hitting that rock? Who’s going to make the village dance the hardest?”

At a casual glance, you might not know that Mars is one of our superstar cavemen. Pulling up to an upscale Italian restaurant on an anonymous street in L.A.’s San Fernando Valley, alone in a relatively modest Cadillac, he parks in back by the dumpsters to slip in quietly. In contrast to the flashy outfits he wears onstage, he’s dressed in a simple collarless bomber jacket, a white Gucci logo T-shirt and camouflage pants. A small crucifix on a thin chain hangs around his neck.

But at age 31, the singer/songwriter/producer dynamo born Peter Gene Hernandez is unquestionably one of the most highly decorated figures in pop music, with 21 Grammy nominations and 21 Hot 100 hit singles. He has sold over 170 million singles and 26 million albums worldwide and notched his first five No. 1 hits faster than any male artist since Elvis Presley. His third album, 24K Magic, debuted at No. 2 in November; more than two months later, it was still parked in the top five.

On this drizzly January day, Mars is trying to take care of business before heading to Japan for promotional duties. He’s finalizing plans for the album’s second single, the breezy, drop-top banger “That’s What I Like,” and plotting out his performance for the Grammy Awards. Today, he’s mostly bouncing between meetings and calls to assemble the staging for his massive world tour—already more than 100 dates this year, starting in late March in Antwerp, Belgium, and hitting the U.S. in July.

“I want the show to be powerful, because people spent some money on a ticket,” he says. “I’ve seen some awesome shows. I’ve seen Prince and Michael Jackson ; those are nights I will remember forever. I’m not doing my job unless I leave a piece of me everywhere I go—if you do the right show, it will stay with people and they’ll tell their kids about it. I hope people can see what I was feeling when I made the records. Then I want to go beyond their expectations and fly.”

With his old-school dedication to entertaining and his grounding in classic pop and R&B songwriting, Mars stands alongside Adele as one of today’s most universally beloved musicians. “My mum loves Bruno Mars and my son loves Bruno Mars and he’s 5,” says James Corden, host of The Late Late Show—and, recently, the Grammys—in a phone call. “I love how joyful, positive, uplifting his music is. It excludes no one. Everybody is welcome.”

Mars makes no secret that being onstage comes much easier to him than being in the studio. Almost four full years passed between his quadruple-platinum Unorthodox Jukebox album and the release of 24K Magic. He works so obsessively on each song, he says, that he drew up parameters for himself in order to get the concise, nine-song project finished. “I wanted to make a movie, where each song has its own moment,” he says. “So ‘Versace on the Floor’ is the tender moment, ‘That’s What I Like’ is the fun moment, and the ballad at the end [“Too Good to Say Goodbye”] seals the deal. That’s how I kind of tricked myself into making the album.

“We were trying really hard to tap into the ’90s R&B music that we grew up with, and it’s a very fine line—it can get tribute-y, it can sound forced,” Mars adds. “But that New Jack Swing sound brought me so much joy as a kid, so we took that on and did our best to try to get that feeling, that effortless fun.”

His interest in exploring the sounds of the past has sometimes led to accusations that Mars is just a talented copycat. When 24K Magic was released, one publication offered a track-by-track analysis of which artist each song was imitating. Not surprisingly, Mars gets heated about such criticisms.

“Man, that pisses me off so much!” he says. “It’s so easy to say that, but anyone that does that kind of shit has never written a song in their life. That’s why I’m here, because of musicians before me.

“Don’t get me wrong—there is plagiarism when you just say ‘Hey, man, what are you doing? I’ve heard that already.’ And I’m not stupid, of course it sounds like [the ’90s]. We’re using these vintage instruments and there is a certain sound, but it’s not just regurgitated. You can tell that we were listening to ’90s R&B. It has that spirit. That’s what we capture, and that’s what I want.”

Every time I think about it, my whole story is just weird,” says Mars. “Even I don’t get it!” He was born and raised in Honolulu, one of six children—his Filipino-Spanish mother was a singer and dancer; his Jewish–Puerto Rican father was a percussionist. By age 4, young Bruno (the nickname came from his father, who thought the infant Peter resembled wrestler Bruno Sammartino) was performing five days a week in the family band, the Love Notes, singing Michael Jackson and Temptations covers.

According to his older brother, Eric “E-Panda” Hernandez, when Bruno was just a few years old, his parents dressed him up as Elvis for Halloween. “He was already so in tune with Elvis that he was imitating the moves, the lips, drawing a crowd,” says Hernandez. “I thought, ‘Holy cow, he’s a showstopper already!’ ” “Little Elvis” went on to perform at halftime in the 1990 Aloha Bowl and had a cameo in the 1992 film Honeymoon in Vegas.

“If you took your kid to school with you every day, and you were studying rocket science, he’d probably be a rocket scientist,” says Mars. “So that’s just it—my dad and mom took me to work every single day, and I got to see what it’s like to entertain an audience. I got to entertain everybody who came to Hawaii—a roomful of people that didn’t speak English, from around the world—and to see what music can do, and how it can bring the world together.”

Above all, he learned the power of a great song, the fundamentals of writing music that far outlives its creator. Hernandez, who is now the drummer in Mars’s band, recalls Bruno constantly studying music videos—doo-wop, Michael Jackson, Elvis, anything he could get his hands on—in the bedroom they shared.

“I’ve been singing amazing songs since I was a kid,” Mars says. “They weren’t my songs, but they were classics. So I’ve trained my brain to know what it feels like to sing an amazing song—when you do a lot of covers, you see it; you’ll play a song and you see everybody freak out when you get to that chorus, everyone is singing. It taps into something, whether it’s nostalgia or it just makes people feel a certain way.”

His father gave him a guitar and started teaching him to play—surf music at first, classics like “Walk Don’t Run” and “Apache.” The influence ran deeper than just the music, as evidenced by the silk-shirt-and-shorts set, white shoes and gold jewelry he sports on the cover of 24K Magic. “The style stuff all comes from watching my dad—the pinkie rings, the pompadour, everything,” Mars says with a big grin. “My dad would take me to school in some big, busted-up Cadillac, and he’d be wearing a rhinestone jacket and have his hair all whipped and greased up, flashy glasses, and I was like, My dad’s not like the other dads at school! I’d try to get out of the car, zoom out. And now I’m the one driving the busted Cadillac, wearing some gaudy shit, and it’s what makes me happy.”

“Bruno is a fashion leader, with a sense of style that is truly his own,” says Tommy Hilfiger, whose clothes Mars sometimes wears onstage. “He is almost chameleonlike—for one concert, he’ll wear an animal-print shirt, then the next, he’ll be in a tuxedo, and it’s all him, he is totally in control of his presence.”

After graduating from high school, Mars moved to Los Angeles to pursue a musical career. (He now lives in the Hollywood Hills with model/actress Jessica Caban, whom he has dated since 2011.) He was signed by Motown Records in 2004 but then dropped. He kicked around town, signing a publishing deal, playing in cover bands and soaking up all he could from sympathetic, successful songwriters. He wrote songs for K’naan, Brandy and Flo Rida and, in 2009, co-founded a production team, the Smeezingtons.

His breakthrough came with the hits “Nothin’ on You” by B.o.B. and “Billionaire” by Travie McCoy, both of which featured his voice on the hooks, and then with Cee Lo’s 2010 smash politely known as “Forget You.” Just weeks before that song dropped, Mars released “Just the Way You Are,” the first single from his debut album on Atlantic Records, Doo-Wops and Hooligans. The irresistibly sweet ballad went to No. 1 and topped the adult contemporary chart for a record-breaking 20 weeks. (The next single, “Grenade,” also went to No. 1, and the ukulele-driven trifle “The Lazy Song” cracked the top five.) After a brief tour opening for Maroon 5, he played headlining dates for more than a year, as the album saw sales of more than six million units worldwide and an unbelievable 300-plus weeks on the Billboard Top 200.

On the road, though, Mars became aware of the limitations of his repertoire. “The first album was so ballad-heavy,” he says, “and when I toured I was like, ‘Man, I need to dance!’ We gotta pick this up, because we can offer more and we’re kinda stuck. And that’s where ‘Locked Out of Heaven’ and ‘Treasure’ and a lot of tunes on the second album came from, because we wanted to push the tempo.”

With an Anglo-reggae groove reminiscent of the Police (Mars and Sting sang together at the 2013 Grammy Awards), “Locked Out of Heaven” shot Unorthodox Jukebox out of the gate in 2012. The album explored disco and classic soul styles and topped charts around the world. And then, at the end of 2014, Mars was featured on producer Mark Ronson’s earth-quaking, booty-shaking, record-breaking throwback “Uptown Funk.” Certified diamond, for sales over 10 million, the song is only the eighth single in history to spend at least 14 weeks at No. 1. “Uptown Funk” won three Grammys, including record of the year, and for months it was unavoidable—on your TV, in your car or at sporting events.

Mars says the song emerged only after a long struggle and that they had almost tossed it away. “We went through some trials and tribulations,” he says. “I’m not lying when I tell you that we were fighting—I was on tour and Mark would send me something and I’d be like, ‘Are you out of your mind?’ And I’d send him something back and he’d be like, ‘No, my version is better.’ We were both fighting for the greater good of the song.

“You press play and it went, ‘This here’s that ice-cold…’ and it was like, ‘Oh, what’s about to happen?!’ But then ‘Oh, man, that’s what you got? Nah, never mind, turn it off.’ And that kept happening for months.

“Finally the solution was that we just needed to dance—to say, ‘Don’t believe me, just watch,’ and that’s it. Don’t try to write a hook. You don’t need more; that already said everything. But it took us a while to feel that, because the way we were doing it was so unorthodox, piece by piece. When we finally got together and picked up the instruments, we got to feel it. That’s when the superpower comes in.”

Even after cranking out so many hits—plus collaborations with and writing efforts for everyone from Lil Wayne to Alicia Keys, Adele to Jay Z and Kanye West—Mars has no formula or shortcuts; songwriting remains an instinctive craft.

“When you’re in the studio, you can feel the energy shift,” he says. “It’s no different from telling a good joke—you can tell when it lights up the room. Or from telling a shitty joke that makes everyone want to leave and you hear the crickets. So you’re always trying to find that magic and then capitalize on it.

“You find something—‘put your pinkie rings up to the moon’—and everyone’s excited, but now what? What does the bass sound like, or the drums? If ‘24K Magic’ is supposed to sound like I’m having the time of my life, you gotta hear me smiling on the record.”

There’s no bigger stage than the Super Bowl halftime show; Bruno Mars is one of a few performers who have played it twice. In 2014, he played during a rare northern excursion, as the 48th annual game took place in New Jersey. “Rehearsing in the cold sucked,” he says. “We got lucky on the day, it was 50 degrees, but two days before it was -9 or something.” His action-packed performance was the highest-rated halftime show ever (since surpassed by Katy Perry and Lady Gaga) and earned widespread raves, especially considering that his career hadn’t quite reached the spot’s usual mega-A-list status.

Then last year, on the heels of “Uptown Funk,” Chris Martin of Coldplay invited Mars and Beyoncé to join the group’s halftime set. “I told Chris, ‘This is your Super Bowl performance, you deserve it, go kill ’em,’ ” Mars says. “But he’s such a sweetheart and he kept saying, ‘Bruno, this is a gift I want to give to everybody.’ He talked me into it. He’s a sweet talker, that guy. And she signed up, and all of a sudden I’m in rehearsal dance-battling Beyoncé—what the hell happened?”

Mars is proud of his work ethic and dedication to every appearance, something Corden can attest to after they filmed a Carpool Karaoke segment last year (the clip has had nearly 40 million views on YouTube since airing in December). “My biggest memory of that day was that the second it ended, I got a little depressed,” says Corden. “Like the last day of vacation, where you’re on the plane home and feel sad that it’s over. It was so euphoric, I just wanted to do it again. There’s a moment at the end of ‘Uptown Funk’ where we’re just sitting there and breathing heavily, and that was real. His commitment was everything—we left it all in the car.

“I think he’s 100 percent on his way to being one of the greats,” Corden continues. “There are great showmen who get by without always having great songs and great songwriters who aren’t great showmen, but he’s both those things. He has this unquantifiable energy, where you want to watch it and be a part of it somehow.”

Hernandez notes that his brother works tirelessly, showing up for every sound check, sometimes arriving before the rest of the band. “He sees something lacking in the business, maybe something we were influenced by as kids that’s missing today, and he sticks to his vision,” says Hernandez. “He’s put that work mentality on the rest of the band, where he makes us want to be great.”

The rain has stopped and as the sun goes down over the Santa Monica Mountains, Mars heads to the restaurant’s back patio for a cigarette. He seems in no great rush to get back into the scramble of preparing for a tour and keeping the business humming. With the long process of an album finally complete, he says that although he’s open to the idea of more new music or another collaboration, he wants to be careful.

“I just don’t want to feel gross,” he says. “It’s as simple as that. I don’t want to feel gross, I don’t want to regret any decisions. Even if I turn down a sweet check because I don’t want to be on that billboard, hawking some shit to the world—I just don’t need to do that. Because you get one shot at this.

“I’m not a model. I’m not an ice skater. I’m not a chef. I’m here to do music. And I want to be able to look back and say, ‘Yeah, I did it the way I wanted to do it.’ Whether it triumphs or fails, I can live with that.”

#bruno mars #interview #wsj #2017

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