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caught-in-the-filter · 3 years

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Filling your request for smutty prompts. 1. "if you keep making those sounds, i'm not going to be able to stop myself." 2. "be rough with me. i can handle it." 3. "oh my god, did i just say that out loud?" 😏 Hopefully at least one of these will inspire a little something!

Yes, Captain

No Longer A WIP Wednesday!

A/N: Thank you very much for the hot prompts!! 🔥😏 I’ve decided to combine all three into one purely smutty fic, and I hope you enjoy it! 🥰😘❤️

Faltering restraint, a certain request, and a slip of the tongue, all mean this one turned into a bit of rough and dirty, impromptu Captain Hook roleplay.

Thank you to @the-darkdragonfly and @kmomof4 for looking over it for me, and to everyone on the CSMM Discord for all your support. ❤️❤️❤️

Approx. 1284 words; read it on AO3

———

“Fuck, Emma,” Killian panted with hot breath over her lips, his forehead pressed to hers and his nose nudging her cheek as he sheathed himself inside her over and over again, eliciting a delicious moan from her each time. “If you keep making those sounds, love, I’m not going to be able to stop myself.”

“Be rough with me,” Emma encouraged, rising off their bed to meet him. “I can handle it.”

“Oh?” he questioned, eyebrow raised in challenge. He laced his fingers through her hair and pulled, jerking her head back and exposing her neck to him, which he slowly traced with the tip of his hook, followed closely by his hot breath ghosting over the path it had taken. Tipping his head back when he passed her chin, his lips just above hers, he drawled with a dangerous tone, “Are you so sure?”

“Yes, Captain.” Oh my god, Emma thought, her eyes wide and a blush spreading across her cheeks, did I really just call him that out loud?

“Ohh, so you want the pirate then, is that it?” He grinned, and it was almost like a switch flipped in his brain, though she could see in his eyes, behind the wildfire the use of his title had ignited in them, that her Killian maintained his restraint. With the curve of his hook, he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear before he grazed her collarbone with the sharp tip and trailed it down her side, sending a chill rushing through her whole body. “Alright then, lass, this position certainly won’t do.” Emma whimpered in protest when he removed himself from inside her, and he caught her jaw in his hand, gently but firmly. “Trust me, darling. I know what I’m doing, and you’d be wise to listen.” Getting to his feet, he ordered her to kneel on the mattress. “No,” he said when she faced him, “turn around. I want to take you from behind.”

Emma did as she was told, taking it a step further by bending forward and bracing herself on her hands, taunting him with her ass in the air.

“My, you are an eager wench, aren’t you?” Killian swatted her ass with an open palm, immediately soothing the sting as he massaged her reddening flesh with his fingers before smacking it again. “If I weren’t so intent on having you around my cock, I might be inclined to punish you for your impatience.” Killian ran the curve of his hook through her folds, and she could just imagine what he was doing when he took a deep inhale and hummed with a sharp sigh. She wondered how she’d keep her limbs from collapsing as they trembled beneath her, when he slid his cock fully inside her aching core. He growled, “My enticing lass, I will grant you mercy just this once.”

“Thank you, Captain,” Emma panted as he pounded into her. The deep impacts of his hard thrusts left her reeling, the sounds he drew from her of the most erotic nature.

“Perhaps we should fuck in my quarters on my ship instead. You’d like to let my crew hear your sweet sounds as I take you hard and fast on my desk, wouldn’t you, little minx?”

Emma couldn’t find the words to respond, her mind racing as she struggled to stay with him, her knuckles turning white as she clenched her fists tighter in the sheets. Her moans were almost pornographic, but there was certainly nothing fake about the way he made her feel.

Killian suddenly planted his hand in her hair and pulled her upright with a grunt, bringing her back flush against his chest as he continued to piston his hips.

“Or do you prefer to sully your own sheets with our sinful activities, my wanton lass, so you’ll be reminded of them every time you enter your room?”

“As long as you’re inside me, Captain,” Emma answered breathlessly, “I’m not that picky.”

“Oh?” Killian said, bringing his movements to a halt, “And what if I weren’t inside you?” Despite his own urges to keep his cock inside her tight heat, he pulled out quickly, and she gasped in offense at the loss. His hand harshly palmed her breast with a rough squeeze. “What if I decided to tease every inch of you except your little cunt?” She shivered when he grazed the tip of his hook along the crease of her thigh. “What if I sought out each little point that makes you quiver and left you a wet and wanting mess just for me, begging for me to fill you again? And then perhaps I’d put that pleading mouth of yours to work, filling it instead, as deeply as I say you could handle?” He nuzzled her neck and nipped at the side of her jaw. “What then?”

“God, Killian,” Emma panted, her head spinning in a dizzy whirl, the throbbing between her legs getting unbearable as his cock rubbed against her ass, so close to where she needed it yet so far.

“Excuse me?” he growled, snaking his hand up and gripping her throat.

“I’d like that too, Captain,” she corrected.

Killian paused a moment before sheathing himself inside her once more and adding, “There’s a good, naughty lass.” The sigh of relief that left her lips at the sudden stretch made it difficult for him to deny her any longer. But she wanted the pirate, so it was the pirate he would give her.

Emma’s arms shot out behind her to find some part of him to hold onto as Killian tucked his arms behind her thighs and scooped her off the bed, spinning the two of them and sitting at the edge with her in his lap, never pulling out of her in the process.

“You can have your release, love,” he purred, his breath searing her neck as he nosed along the shell of her ear, “but you’ll have to take it.” He splayed his hand on her stomach and gave her legs a little nudge with his, encouraging her to move atop him. “Fight for it. Show me you can handle a bit of piracy yourself.”

“Yes, Captain, thank you.” Emma ground down on him, frantically rocking her hips back and forth, unwilling to risk letting him slip out of her again and trying desperately to rub her most sensitive spot against him as she kept adjusting her angle.

“Come on, lass,” Killian moaned, her efforts very enjoyable but not nearly enough for him. “You can do better than that. Take what you want. What you need.”

“Yes, Captain.” Emma rode him with determination then, setting her own pace as she bounced on his cock and sought out her high.

“That’s it, love. Good lass. Yes!” His hand gripped her hip as the side of his brace dug into the other. He couldn’t help himself as they neared their releases and desperately thrust up into her each time she sank down on him. “Take it. Yes. Fuck.”

Emma let out her own string of curses as she reached her climax. The amusement on Killian’s face was quickly replaced with bliss as his eyes closed and his mouth fell open on a stuttered moan, pouring himself inside her and pushing it deeper as it dripped around his cock.

“I knew there was a little pirate in you, love,” Killian sighed as he kissed across her shoulder and up the side of her neck. Emma giggled and turned to kiss him back, bringing his hand back to her stomach with their fingers interlaced.

“At this rate,” she smiled, pressing her forehead to his, “maybe there will be.”

———

Tag list: @donteattheappleshook @elizabeethan @hollyethecurious @ilovemesomekillianjones @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @klynn-stormz @kmomof4 @qualitycoffeethings @stahlop @teamhook @the-darkdragonfly @thejollyroger-writer @tiganasummertree @xsajx @wefoundloveunderthelight @zaharadessert

And also tagging @darkcolinodonorgasm because you’ve been a good bad influence on my mind, so the end is also for you 😘

#captain swan #CS smut #CS ff #Captain Hook #Captain Hook roleplay #wip wednesday #no longer a wip wednesday #roleplay #Kayla answers #Kayla writes #my writing #justanother unluckysoul

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maplecourtesy · 3 years

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TAZ:G NOTES, EPISODE 38

god okay. it’s finale time. this ones a long one im both very scared and very excited. the setup they did in the last episode was SO cool i’m very hyped for this

OKAY OKAY WE ARE STARTING.

and going STRAIGHT into a boss battle with CHAOS BUILD CHARACTERS this is so sick

[most of the content under the cut, because spoilers!!]

CAN I JUST SAY, THE USE OF THE WORD HERO IN THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION VS TRAVIS’ EXPOSITION BEFORE THE BATTLE. “we need some heroes.” vs “at some point in the past this might have been a job for a hero. but not now, not anymore.” i love that. so much. ive said it before and ill say it again one of the sexiest parts of grad is the way they redefined heroes and villains.

oh right holy shit chaos and order shouldn’t have been able to exist together,, chaos and order are at such ends now that theyve completely split,, chaos no longer relies on order thats so sexy

RELEASE THE KRAKEN VERY POGGERS ACTION NAME they r so cool and powerful i love them

IMAGINE taking 20 damage from fitzroy just being in ur VICINITY

oh i forgot about gray he and althea are there right

BIG SNIPPERS??!??!!?!? BIG SNIPPERS. MY BABY BOY I LOVE HIM.

im so tired of order can they do something cool instead of blinding the one pc who’s not even gotten a turn yet

FUCK SHIT UP ARGO awesome thats 66 damage good for him he is JUST like loki

hey this ethereal music kinda vibes

everyone is kittens. hm.

ENJOY THESE MEOW-TEORS meow

i am very happy about all the meowing but also i think its very funny that justin said hes gonna dislike any firbolg art he sees

FURBOLG

fitzroy kitty cat rage…. what are we even doing here whats going on

i wish that grays first epic move wasnt as a kitten but i can work with this

FITZROY GIVES GRAY HIS MAUL??? i think this is the peak of the sibling dynamic between them. bickering and complaining but cooperating when it really matters

GOD. how are we having every fucking cartoon trope in one battle. u guys know in cartoons when they like get put through some beam and u see into different universes or whatever and theyre cats and they have a body swap and maybe theres a sock puppets one. this is that.

GRIFFIN FIRBOLG IMPRESSION

maplekeeners stay winning

argo does a sexy graceful reverse dive but he also looks like fitzroy so thats fitzroy. good.

NOW THEYRE THE REAL GUYS. i hate this

cannot believe im listening to justin mcelroy roleplay justin mcelroy sending meteors at a horde of hellhounds

GRIFFIN MCELROY PUSHES GRAY THE DEMON PRINCE TO THE GROUND SAYS SOME COOL MOVIE LINE AND CASTS THE BIGGEST THUNDERWAVE EVER.

SNIPPERS KAIJU

THIS IS THE SOCK PUPPET AND THE DIFFERENT ANIMATION STYLE BIT OF THE CARTOON TROPES.

fuck off travis give me animated taz

i do like this music a lot its got video game vibes

DIFFERENT CLINT MCELROY??? disgraced dj clint mcelroy x janitor clint mcelroy fanfic /j please dont

AUDIENCE??? thats me im the ones cheering

THUNDERMAN LOVE LANGUAGE IS HANDS ON SHOULDERS. and now they are both clouds of gas

fuck that is so cool fitzroy is the coolest hes just shooting lightning out of his hands and its his cool lightning illuminating him. THATS a painting

AW WHAT. HEYYY WHAT ORDER STOP IT IT WAS GETTING GOOOOD.

chaos i like u so much. i’m a chaos sympathist and apologist now i adore them

mission imp-hospital <3

oh my god what the hell i just got chills i love this so much,, everyones a hero,,, this fucks .,, theyve destroyed capitalism and systemic injustice i love them very much

A BALANCE HAS SHIFTED.. THE WORLD HAS TURNED TO CHAOS.

i am so enamored with how travis described that this makes me so happy

order i hope u die powerless and fearful

THEYRE SINGING THE THUNDERMEN SONG. GOD I LOVE THEM…

it would be very sexy if they did just cut to black i wouldnt be mad.

CHAOS E N D ORDER. PLEASE. U DESERVE THIS CHAOS.

GO TO HELL. INCREDIBLE. FUCK THATS SO GOOD good firbolg lines today as always.

FIRBOLG IS GRAYS FAVORITE?!?!?

chaos i love u very much. i think they deserve to have whatever they want ever

FITZROY LETTING HIM KEEP HIS MAUL,,

obsessed with gray calling fitzroy his best friend right after saying the firbolg was his favorite and then ending their last conversation ever by telling argo he’s his son.

althea and barb r girlfriends <3

literally what happened to rainer btw where is she

leon and buckminster r boyfriends <3

OH RAINER HI THERE SHE IS

thunderman llc doesn’t have time for labels

OH THE MUSIC… THIS BRINGS ME BACK

i like it very much that during taz graduation, instead of graduating, they became anarcho-anticapitalists and took down the entire school system.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS. we’re doing a timeskip ending…

btw where did the fucking time travel fit into this i’m still confused about that.

okay but do they not sail away on a ship together. on argo’s new ship.

he’s just… fitzroy maplecourt now!!! wow…. that character arc is so near and dear to my heart. from forcing people to call him by his full name and his full title to relieving himself of the titles completely.. guys i love fitzroy

FITZROY BOYCLOAKS MAGAZINE COVER PAGE 8 ISSUES IN A ROW AND HES STARTED A WOODLAND CREATURE FASHION LINE AND HES RICH. he helps out his parents too that’s so sweet.. And he’s got a beard.

JUST PLAIN OLD FITZROY<3333333333 ouhgh,,, this is so cute… he’s getting closure. and he gets to give a cool speech…. about anarchism………. and going to fucking Law School. oh that’s very good..

does. the firbolg settle down. ill fucking lose it. DOES THE FIRBOLG FUCK THE TINY GARY. I CAN’T DO THIS I COULDN’T DO THIS. THIS IS THE FUCKING WORST PLEASE DON’T. does the firbolg BECOME a gary!?!?!?!?!? what the fuck is happening i’m so confused please stop. can we just go back to having the thundermen be friends so the firbolg isn’t lonely. please. i’m going fucking insane this can’t be how the firbolg ends i can’t fucking do this i can’t call him gary. his name can’t be gary. NotLikeThis.

IS THIS A GARY COMMERCIAL. I HATE THIS

OKAY ARGO TIME PLEASE HAVE A GOOD ONE ARGO PLEASE.

argo on the firboat!!! what will he do!!!

A CRUISE SHIP YES. FUCK YES OKAY I CAN WORK WITH THIS. what the fuck does he mean by the firbolg experience. why is there a theme song oh god oh no.

i’m in hell order’s gone to hell and taken me with them. how did he fucking come up with this. AND he ends with the thunderman llc. good.

OH THEY’RE ALL ON THE CRUISE SHIP… cute i like this

HE COMMANDEERS THE COMMODORES FLEET AND HAS TURNED THEM INTO A CRUISE SHIP LINE

oh,,, fitzroy suggesting they go for one last fight? ;; cute as well.

DON’T JOKE ABOUT GRAD2ATION I WILL CRY. ISN’T THE NEXT ARC SET ON THE SEAS. DON’T JOKE ABOUT THIS

oh ;;;;;w;;;;;;;;; fitzroy………<3 he has grown so much,, no more considering himself above his companions,, he is just fitzroy maplecourt and he loves and misses his pals. and because of this he will get a cruise ship based on him.

YEAHHHHHH FRONT FOR PIRACY. GOOD.

oh my god,, fitzroy becomes a robin hood of the seas.

they all miss each other ;;;; <3

ARE WE GONNA END WITH THE THEME SONG. CHRIST. OKAY.

no this fucking sucks actually. goodbye everyone. it’s been nice.

AWWW THE END MUSIC… wowowowowow they brought it full circle with the soundtrack and ended with laughing and a fun little fitzroy joke. i’m happy with that :]

i’ll miss the thundermen so very much,, i don’t know how excited i am for the next arc it kinda rests on the pcs,, i prefer griffin’s pcs over when he dms but let’s see!!! well pogchamp fun end to perhaps my favorite taz arc!!!!<3333333

#taz #taz graduation spoilers #taz grad #taz g #taz graduation #taz grad spoilers #the adventure zone #the adventure zone graduation #taz episode 38 #sir fitzroy maplecourt #fitzroy maplecourt #argonaut keene #argo keene #master firbolg #the firbolg #taz notes by krys #krys talks

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freddiesaysalright · 4 years

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Part of Your World - Chapter 6

Ben!Prince Eric x Mermaid!Reader

Summary: Prince Ben is trying to escape an arranged marriage. A young mermaid wants to escape the sea. Their paths cross and they may just be what the other is looking for.

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @im-an-adult-ish, @queen-paladin, @rogerina-owns-me, @mirkwoodshewolf, @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye, @radiob-l-a-hblah, @xviiarez, @butlegendsneverdie, @sunflower-ben, @godblessthisgardenpigeon, @okilover02, @xhaliemax, @your-typical-ingenue

Word Count: 5k

A/N: Okay, I can’t believe I’m updating this early but hey, it happens, lol. This is the last part, y’all. Thank you so much for the love and support for this story. I’ve had an absolute BLAST with it.

Warning(s): Mild descriptions of violence

Moodboard

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 here we go!!!

Behati started toward the harbor, but stopped herself. In her panic, she nearly forgot her own curse. But she had to get to you somehow, and tell the crew. They needed to set a course right away if they were going to catch Sycoria and save Ben. But what could she do? There was no one around, and she was trapped.

She looked back out to the water, hoping against all odds that Ben would emerge and make his way back to the shore. He didn’t.

You woke with sun peeking in through the curtains, but feeling oddly chilly. You quickly realized it was because Ben was not beside you. Your brow furrowed and you grew worried. Had he come home at all? Was he up already and hadn’t said anything to you? Had something happened to him?

You sat up and stretched, talking yourself down off the ledge. It was more likely that Ben had decided to stay on the ship with Behati. He had mentioned several times during the day how sorry he felt that she was alone while all of you were off on your trip. He must have wanted to keep her company. You began to dress, convincing yourself that Ben was on the ship. He had to be. He would not just abandon you.

You came into the corridor and were immediately bombarded by people. It was the crew, all embracing you and clapping you on the back and shouting, though you couldn’t make out any of their words. It was clear they were celebrating, but you were clueless as to what.

“One day, and he’s already proposed!” Ari said as they all settled. “You must have really gotten through to him, Y/N!”

Who? You asked. What are you talking about?

“Ben, of course!” Sharna replied. “The news has spread all over town, the prince has decided to marry!”

Marry? You questioned. He didn’t even kiss me!

Their faces fell as they exchanged puzzled looks.

“Is he not with you now?” Ari asked.

You shook your head. I was just going to head to the ship to find him.

“Something’s not right,” she replied. “We’ll come with you. Let’s see if the captain knows anything.”

You nodded. Together, you all headed toward the harbor. The sound of Behati screaming made you all race the rest of the way. You found her between two soldiers who were trying to remove her from her ship. She was struggling wildly - with impressive strength - and you understood why. She could not touch land.

“Hey!” Ari shouted.

The crew jumped into action, crossing swords with the squad of soldiers, who relented quickly. They were outnumbered in seconds. You and Ari stood between Behati and the men.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Ari demanded. “Who are you?”

“I am Major Archer,” the leader replied with a huff. “And as I explained to your captain, she is under arrest.”

“On what charges?” asked Kay.

“Kidnapping the prince!” Major Archer replied.

“I’m telling you, I don’t have him!” Behati spat back. “Search the ship if you like!”

You whirled around to face her. He’s not here?

She shook her head. “No. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“The prince has been safely returned to the custody of the Navy,” Major Archer interrupted. “He and his fiance told us everything.”

“Fiance?” Kay returned.

“Lady Eleanor Manderly,” Archer said. “She rescued him from the beach last night. According to the prince, he had just barely managed to escape you all, ran into her, and she helped him to the base. She proved to us she had his gratitude and had won his heart when she was able to present his ring.”

“If we really kidnapped him, do you think we would have let him go with anything valuable?” Behati challenged. “Besides, it’s like I told you. Ben came with us willingly. He begged to be allowed on my ship because I don’t normally permit the presence of men.”

“Even someone as useful as the prince?” Archer scoffed. “Likely story. You’re all under arrest.”

“Hold on, where is Ben now?” Ari asked. “And this Lady Eleanor?”

“Why, they’re on their wedding ship,” Archer said. “It set sail this morning, and they will be married by sundown. The prince insisted.”

Your chest got tight, as if someone was sitting on it. Tears sprang to your eyes. This had to be what Calla warned you about - Sycoria’s plan involving you and the prince. She had bewitched him, and you were doomed. Your life was closing in around you.

“We’re not going with you,” Behati said firmly. “Ben is being manipulated, and we won’t stand for it.”

“Well, I don’t see how you have any choice in the matter,” Archer said. “The prince ordered all of you to be arrested and hanged for piracy and kidnapping.”

“I don’t see how you can arrest all of us,” Behati replied. She retrieved her pistol and pointed directly between his eyes. “You’re outnumbered and outmatched.”

She had a fair point. There were only seven of the soldiers there, while the crew was almost thirty. Even if the numbers were the same, Behati’s crew were some of the most skilled fighters in the kingdom.

“Get off my ship,” she ordered. “Or I’ll put this bullet between your eyes.”

She cocked the hammer to show she was serious. Archer’s eyes went wide as an owl’s. He gulped loudly.

“Alright, then, we’ll stand down,” he said. “But we’ll be back, Behati -”

“Captain Behati,” she corrected.

“We’ll be back,” he repeated. “With reinforcements. You will stand trial.”

“You’ll have to catch me first.”

They left. Behati lowered her weapon and faced the crew.

“Raise the anchor!” she barked. “Release the sails, we’ve got to get as much speed as possible if we’re going to catch them!”

Everyone jumped into action, you included, while Behati went to the helm. She was already turning the rudder to get the ship turned out of the harbor. The wind picked up in the sails. Slowly, it began to move.

“Captain, where are we headed?” Ari asked.

“To Sycoria’s lair,” Behati answered. “I saw her take Ben from the beach last night. He went into the water, where she must have bewitched him further. I can’t say how they made it to the naval base and back out without anyone seeing, but it must be more magic. All I know is that she has no intention of marrying Ben. She just needs to run out the clock.”

“Run out the clock?” Ari questioned further.

“Y/N’s clock,” Behati said. She looked at you. “Can I tell them?”

You still felt rather shaky, but nodded. They deserved to know if they were going to risk themselves to help your case. Behati explained it all as the crew worked. They seemed to understand, and began to work harder, taking on more of a sense of urgency. Because come sunset, you might no longer exist. Your heart pounded against your ribcage. There was no way you had enough time.

When you got past the harbor, the wind was much stronger. Behati instructed Kay and Sharna to check the speed. They went to the side, Sharna releasing the rope and Kay keeping time. Kay called it and then Sharna looked at the rope.

“5 knots!” she shouted to Behati.

The captain frowned.

“That’s not nearly fast enough,” she said. “Ari, why aren’t the topsails down?”

“Max says the wind is too strong,” Ari explained. “The ship can’t handle it.”

“Release them!” Behati demanded. “This is Ben we’re talking about! We don’t have time to waste! We need to get to at least 7 knots if we’re to catch them by sundown!”

Ari gave the order. The main and fore topsails came down and caught the wind. The ship lurched forward, rocking heavily with the abrupt change in speed. You held on to the side as you struggled to remain standing. You thought the ship might heave over, or the masts might snap, but neither happened. The helmswoman rotated sharply, and the ship evened out. You let out a quiet breath of relief.

“Sharna, what’s our speed?” Behati called.

Sharna and Kay ran their drill again. When Kay called time, Sharna beamed.

“Seven knots, Captain!” she cried excitedly.

“Excellent!” Behati replied.

Sharna and Kay climbed back on deck and got right back to work. Behati came over to you. She placed a hand on your shoulder and held your gaze.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back, Y/N,” she said. “For your sake, and the kingdom’s.”

You nodded firmly. You wanted to cry, to lose yourself to the despair that this was your final day. You had risked it all and won nothing. But you had all the faith in the world in Behati.

Once the ship was on course, it was difficult to distract yourself from your worry. All you could think about was Ben. The sun began to curve lower in the sky, and you felt your stomach drop. It was getting into the afternoon, when Lily Bones shouted from the crow’s nest.

“Sails!” she cried. “Sails! We’re gaining on them!”

Behati ran to the bow, nearly throwing herself overboard, and snatched up her looking glass. She peered through it to get a better look at the ship. You could see it too, but couldn’t make out anything significant.

“It’s the Ranger,” Behati said. “Captain Barlow’s ship, and one of the fastest in the Royal Navy. He’s the worst about cracking down on pirates. No wonder Sycoria picked it for the wedding vessel.”

You really know your stuff, you signed.

“You learn quickly in this job,” she replied. “How are you feeling?”

I don’t know, you signed. How much time until we reach them?

“About two hours,” she said. “I know that’s cutting it close, but we have some time, Y/N.”

I just hope it’s enough.

As you got closer, you also approached land. Apparently, Captain Barlow was taking the couple into a bay that lay through an inlet. There were no cities or towns nearby, which you guessed Sycoria had also carefully chosen. She was not only going to dispose of you, but also Ben and the entire crew aboard the Ranger.

This is getting out of hand, you signed. Why would she take all these people out just to spite me?

“I don’t think it’s about you, Y/N,” Behati said. “Not that you aren’t a prize or anything, but there’s something more she wants. Your father is probably her likely target. She wants to draw him out, I’m sure of it.”

My father doesn’t know anything about this, you told her. What makes her so sure this would work?

“I’m not sure,” Behati said. “But get ready. We’ll be there before you know it.”

That proved to be true. You approached the Ranger as the sun was just about to touch the horizon. Only, as you approached, you saw that they were ready for a fight. The cannons were loaded and aimed, the sailors on deck had their rifles at the ready. As Behati’s ship came to a stop astride the Ranger, your stomach did a flip. You had a clear view of Ben, standing at an altar with a woman you had never seen before in a white gown. But her eyes gave her away. Her irises were a bright, vivid purple. She sneered at you when you caught her gaze.

“Arrived, have you?” Sycoria taunted.

An eerie sight struck you. All the crewmen and sailors, even the captain, had purple irises as well. Ben’s beautiful green eyes were also gone, replaced with purple. It was frightening.

“Sycoria,” Behati said. “Release these men and the prince and we might just let you live.”

“Oh, Behati,” Sycoria chuckled. “I know that isn’t true. You’ve been hunting me far too long. But you won’t get past them. Men, open fire!”

Behati and her crew ducked, but you did not. You stood up on the side of the ship, grabbed a rope, and swung yourself over to the Ranger, right over the heads of the sailors, who were still shooting toward Behati.

“Y/N!” she screamed. “Are you out of your mind?!”

You didn’t answer her. You jumped, ducked, and dodged your way through the crew, your focus solely on Sycoria. She would not have Ben. Even if you didn’t live through this, she was not going to kill him. Her eyes went wide as she saw you sprinting toward her. She tried to move, but her dress was too heavy, and you tackled her to the deck.

“Get off me!” she yelped.

She struggled against you as you struck out at her with your fists, reaching for the necklace which seemed to hold the power she had over all these men. She swatted you away at every turn, until finally, after distracting her with one hand, you snatched the necklace with the other. You hurled it into the side of the ship, where it shattered. Gold and purple smoke emitted from the pieces.

Sycoria threw you off of her and scrambled for the necklace, desperately trying to put them back together. You watched as all the men stopped what they were doing, grabbing their heads, as if recovering from a headache. You got to your feet, and went to Ben, whose eyes were their lovely familiar shade of green, but he looked utterly confounded.

“Where am I?” he wondered. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

You started to reply, but two whiffs of smoke swirled in front of you. The purple one wrapped around your legs. The gold around your neck. You felt a strange heat where it made contact with you. Your vision went white, and you instinctively reached out for Ben. You thought you heard him call your name, but you couldn’t be sure. You were suddenly on the ground again. You tried to pull your legs up, but as your vision returned, you realized, your legs were gone! Replaced with your old tail.

“Ben, I’m sorry,” you said, your voice cracking.

Your voice had returned! He knelt down beside you.

“Y/N, you’re a - hold on - were you the one who saved me the day I got shot?” he questioned.

“I am,” you told him. “I should have told you sooner, but I never felt like it was the right - AGH!”

Sycoria had slithered over to you, returned to her true form as well, laughing in that wicked way that sent a chill up your spine. She grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked you away.

“You’re too late!” she shouted with glee. “The little mermaid princess is coming with me!”

You tried to wrench free to no avail.

“Ben, I -”

She cut you off again, this time taking you overboard. You let out a scream as you fell into the water.

“NO!” Ben bellowed. “Y/N!”

“Your highness, what are you doing?! The pirates!” Captain Barlow called.

Behati and her crew had boarded the ship, and were already well into swashbuckling with the sailors.

“Stop attacking them!” Ben ordered, tugging his coat off. “If you want to live, you’ll get them to help!”

“But, sire, where are you going?” Captain Barlow returned.

“I’m getting my girl,” Ben said, drawing his dagger.

Then, he jumped over the edge.

“Your highness!” Captain Barlow yelled.

“You heard him,” Behati said. “Work with us, Barlow.”

He frowned, mulling it over. “Yes, well...alright.”

“That’s the spirit,” Behati teased.

In the water, you and Sycoria were still clawing at each other. You just wanted to get away so you could explain to Ben. You needed him to understand.

Ben was swimming hard. He focused on his task instead of how long he could hold his breath because if he thought about it, he would only realize he needed air. He spotted Sycoria and you entangled in each other and he kicked down, forcing himself deeper.

He reached Sycoria and slashed at her arm with his dagger. Blood spurted out from the contact and the sea witch growled with pain. It did the job. She released you.

“Ben, no!” you cried. “You can’t breathe down here!”

He knew this, and was starting back toward the surface already. But Sycoria’s eel servant was quicker. He wrapped himself around Ben so that the prince couldn’t move his limbs. The dagger slipped out of his hand. You swam for it, snatching it out of the water. Then you hurtled toward the eel.

Ben was battling fiercely to remain conscious. He already couldn’t see, but his eyes were going steadily black as he lost oxygen. His mouth fell open and bubbles emerged. You drove the knife right into the eel’s face. It screeched and relaxed its hold on Ben.

You grabbed Ben around the chest and swam as fast as you could toward the surface. Sycoria let out a mournful cry and pursued you.

You swam faster. You didn’t have time to waste fighting her anymore. You had to get Ben some air. His body was becoming limp in your grip, and your heart began to break. What if you didn’t make it in time?

You burst through the surface, and you hoped to hear him suck in a mouthful of air. But he didn’t. Water dribbled out of his mouth, and then he began to cough. You let out a sigh of relief. He was alive.

“Bear with me, Ben,” you said to him.

He opened his eyes. He tried to speak again, but only coughed more, water continuing to drain out of him.

“Come on, let’s get you to the beach,” you said.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he replied.

He was able to swim some, and you made your way to the shore together. Once you reached the sand, Ben crawled out to where the water was only ankle deep, then he helped you to sit next to him.

“Your voice,” he said. “I...I love it.”

“Thank you,” you replied with a blush. “But you have to let me explain. After I saved you that day you were shot, I knew I had to see you again. But my father wouldn’t allow it. I was desperate so I went to Sycoria.”

“I understand,” he said. “I’m glad you did it. But I feel like there’s something else.”

“We have to share a true love’s kiss,” you said, looking away now. “Or - like Asenora - I turn into sea foam.”

“Well, then,” he said with a smile. “There’s only one thing left.”

“Oh, really?!” you gasped. “Ben, you - you love me?”

He nodded. “So much, Y/N.”

“Oh, I love you too,” you replied earnestly. “I was so hoping you would kiss me yesterday and I didn’t want to -”

He cut you off by putting his finger to your lips.

“Y/N, we’re sort of on a time limit here,” he said.

You giggled. He moved his hand and then he began to lean in. The sun was just about to disappear over the water. You were going to make it. Everything was going to be alright.

Suddenly, you felt a jerk, and you were being dragged back into the sea. Sycoria had taken hold of your tail and was lugging you into the waves. Ben dove after you, crawling on his belly and reaching for your hand.

“Ben!” you screamed.

“Hold on, Y/N!” he cried, grabbing your fingers with his.

He tugged with all his might, but the sea witch had her tentacles around you and was using those as well to bring you to her. One of them she used to cover your mouth. You thrashed and thrashed, but you could not escape her.

Ben watched in horror as your hand started to disappear, blending in with the white foam just touching the end of the waves. Your fingers went first, then slowly up your arm, to your chest, down your torso, and then your tail. Scale by scale, they turned into bubbles. The last thing to go was your face. Your eyes - full of tears - vanished, and became a part of the sea.

A lump formed in Ben’s throat the size of a chicken egg. He’d failed you. And now you were gone. He looked at the water around him, and the foam clinging to his clothes, and he wondered how much of it was you. He squeezed his eyes shut and a tear slid down his cheek. You were gone. He was so close to saving you, to being with you happily for the rest of his life. And in a fleeting moment, you were lost.

“No,” he said to himself.

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was denying. Your absence or his own feeling of failure. He was so absorbed in his grief, he didn’t notice Sycoria’s tentacles now wrapping themselves around him, securing their grip, and then slowly pulling him beneath the waves. When his head was almost completely submerged, he began to fight it.

“Don’t worry, little prince,” Sycoria mocked. “You’ll be with your love soon enough!”

“HEY!” screamed Behati from the left.

Ben and Sycoria turned and saw the captain standing in the water - her legs trembling as they began to crumble beneath her. He held up her pistol, pointing it at Sycoria’s chest.

“I’m the only one who gets to call him little prince,” she snapped. “Die, you wretched bitch.”

She pulled the trigger. Sycoria, shocked that Behati had stepped foot on land for this man, had no time to react. The bullet struck her in the heart. She collapsed into the sea. Ben scrambled out of her grip and went to catch Behati, who was shaking as her body began to shift.

“No, Behati,” Ben said softly, cradling her in his arms. “You can’t do this, you can’t leave me too.”

“It is done now,” she said weakly. “But I’m afraid it won’t undo the curses...I - I’m so s-sorry, B-ben…”

“What can I do?” he asked, tears falling freely from his eyes now.

“P-put me in the sea,” she rasped. “The one p-place where I a-always belonged…”

Water splashed as Ari and the crew came running over. They took in the scene and Ben saw their emotions shift in their faces.

“She insisted on coming herself,” Ari explained. “We tried to dissuade her, but -”

“Help me,” Ben cut across her gently. “Help me get her in the water.”

Ari, Kay, and Sharna all stepped forward. Behati’s body was difficult to manage now as it began to disintegrate into the dust Sycoria warned of. Together, they laid her gently into the waves. The tide took her, and she was gone. Same as you. Part of the water.

“So, I guess we didn’t make it in time for Y/N, either,” Ari said through a sniffle.

“No,” Ben choked out. “S’too late.”

Ari put a hand on his shoulder. He leaned into her touch. The two people who had taught him the most about love and friendship, who showed him the kind of king - the kind of man - he wanted to be, had slipped through his fingers. He couldn’t begin to imagine life without them. The idea made his heart feel like it was shattering.

He let out a sob wiped at his eyes, not even caring that his hands were coated with sand and salt. A noise from Sycoria brought him out of his haze of grief. She was releasing, slow, rattling breaths, clinging to life.

Ari pressed her pistol into his hand.

“Finish it,” she said. “Avenge your love and your captain.”

He held her gaze a long moment and then nodded. The chill of the steel was a bit shocking against his warm hand, but he ignored the feeling. He walked slowly over to Sycoria. He saw her fighting for breath, the life draining from her eyes. He didn’t know whether she was able to heal herself with her magic or not, but he wasn’t going to give her the chance. He held the gun to the side of her head and

BANG.

The sea witch lay absolutely still. Now, it was finished.

Something in the air shifted, though Ben hardly noticed it. He was numb. Even with Sycoria dead, it didn’t feel like victory. Behati was gone. You were gone. And all his hope had vanished with you.

He started walking toward the sand with no real purpose. Then, he flopped down on the shoreline and let out a cry like a wounded animal. Ari and the rest of the crew all came and surrounded him, wrapping their arms around him, and sharing his sorrow.

A shadow was approaching the shore from the water, though the shape was not recognizable. Max was the first crew member to notice it, and she tapped Sharna on the shoulder. Sharna turned and watched as the figure came closer and closer.

“What is it?” Sharna whispered.

“No idea,” Max replied.

They continued to watch as the figure finally broke through the surf, dragging something behind it. Then, they saw your face. It was you! You were pulling Behati, who was catching her breath, behind you.

“Ben!” Max cried. “Ben, Ari, look!”

Ben and Ari emerged from the crowd and saw you. You were still a mermaid, but helping Behati, who was now on her hands and knees, making her way to the crew.

“Captain!” the crew cried, and they all raced forward to joyfully embrace her.

Ben sprinted over to you and lifted you into his arms. He spun around and you laughed - oh how he loved that laugh! He would never again take it for granted. At last, after a turn, he lowered you down enough to kiss you.

His lips were like perfect clouds. You both tasted of salt water, so neither of you noticed it. All you felt was the connection between you soaring. It was real magic. He kissed you until you were breathless. You finally parted for air.

“Well,” Behati began, amused. “I see you two finally got it together.”

Ben was holding you up so your fins just barely touched the sand.

“There’s still this problem,” you said, using said fins to flick a little sand at her.

“Yes, with Sycoria dead, the curse is reversed,” she said. “But that won’t make you human.”

“Y/N!” called a voice from the water.

You all looked out and saw your father, on a rock, looking back at you.

“Father!” you gasped. “What are you doing here?”

“The whole sea is in an uproar!” he replied. “Merpeople who have been missing for years have returned! And a scout report tells me that Sycoria is dead!”

You nodded toward the sea witch’s corpse. He shook his head sadly.

“It’s too bad it had to end this way,” he said.

“Ben, come with me,” you said. “I think it’s time you met my father.”

“I’d love to,” he replied.

Ben carried you into the water, and you made your way to the sea king. He looked between you and the prince and he almost smiled.

“Father, this is the man I rescued that day you sent me to the outpost,” you said. “This is also the man who killed Sycoria and saved my life.”

“I’m Ben,” Ben said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Thank you, Ben, I’m King Triton” Triton said, extending his hand. “You’ve done us a great service.”

“I’m happy to do anything that keeps Y/N alive and happy,” Ben replied.

You beamed at him. Your father observed this and let out a sigh.

“Your majesty, I know we’ve only just met, but I know my feelings,” Ben said. “I love Y/N with my whole heart and I want her to be happy. I believe I can do that for her.”

Triton saw the look in your eyes, and he was reminded of your mother. That was just the way she looked at him.

“You’re asking for her hand, aren’t you?” Triton asked.

Ben nodded. “I am.”

You looked hopefully at the king, begging him with your eyes to grant you this.

“You’ll take care of her?” Triton wondered.

“Always,” Ben assured him.

“Then there’s only one more thing,” Triton sighed.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“I’m going to miss you terribly, my girl,” he answered.

“Oh, Father!” you cried, and you pulled yourself up to kiss his cheek. “Thank you so much!”

Your father smiled at you and then placed his palm to your forehead. You closed your eyes. Your body grew hot, like it did when Sycoria changed you, only this time there was no pain. Your legs came to you naturally and beautifully. This was how you were meant to be.

When you were transformed again, you and Ben grinned wide at each other. You kissed again. Total elation came over you as you realized you would kiss him for the rest of your life. You didn’t mind one bit.

***

From the bay, Behati and her crew sailed back to the capital to deliver Ben home. There, he would introduce you to his parents. The king granted Behati’s crew a full pardon for all charges of piracy, and put Behati on his council. She had the full Navy at her disposal to find and stop slave traders.

King James and King Triton arranged an agreement to keep humans and merpeople safe while humans sailed on the oceans. It allowed for contact, but strictly forbade any violence between them.

You and Ben got married as soon as possible. The union was celebrated everywhere and you could barely remember being happier. You were married on Behati’s ship, with the captain herself serving as the officiant. As you settled into your carriage to go on your honeymoon, you looked at your new husband.

“Ben, do you believe in happily ever after?” you asked.

“How can I not?” he returned. “It’s right in front of me.”

He leaned over and kissed you sweetly. And so it was, you lived happily ever after.

THE END

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x you #BoRhap #BoRhap cast #borhap boys #borhap cast x reader #borhap cast imagine #borhap cast x you #borhap boys x reader #borhap boys imagine #borhap boys x you #part of your world series

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awomanofscience · 3 years

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HEADCANON: On Carina and "filthy pirates"

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

TL;DR:

Carina has a Canonically disparaging view of pirates that I believe is influenced by her upbringing within the fold of "polite" society, the fact she's not a perfect character, and her treatment at the hands of Jack and crew. Their shared adventure and her familial connection (via. Barbossa) somewhat challenges this perception. More, positive encounters with pirates and a better understanding of their motivations would do this better. Eventually, I think she'd find certain elements of the pirate's life appealing (freedom from social constraints, fighting back, etc.).

*Longer explanation under the cut*

Throughout Dead Men Tell No Tales and her spin-off novelisation, it's pretty obvious that Carina has a disparaging view of pirates. There's evidence of this everywhere:

Calling Jack a "filthy pirate" during their near-execution

Expressing no moral opposition to his execution, unlike her own ("Kill the filthy pirate. I'll wait.")

Repeating the insult "filthy pirate" several times throughout the film

Refusing to believe one of Jack's crew could have an educated parent ("You're telling me your mother was academically inclined?")

Taking offence to Barbossa suggesting her father was a thief, particularly because he's a pirate ("The memory of my father will not be defiled by the tongue of a pirate!")

Regularly using "pirate" as an insult/judgement of character

Her perception of pirates doesn't really change until towards the end of the film, when she learns that one of the most infamous pirates of her time - Barbossa - was her father all along.

As an otherwise unusually progressive personality, why does she automatically take this view?

Carina is a product of her upbringing in "polite" society

For all the hardships she's endured throughout her life, financial/social hardship isn't really one of them.

Unlike pretty much every orphaned child in her time, Carina is neither condemned to the streets nor to a workhouse. Instead, she's sent to a "children's home" run by a rich and charitable benefactor in the countryside. This is highly unusual for her setting, given that the first real orphanage in the UK - The Foundlings Hospital - was opened in 1741. The orphanage movement didn't really take off until the mid 19th century, and although a few places did exist beforehand, most parentless kids were simply... abandoned. Some went to monasteries, others to work (and likely die) in workhouses. Some ended up on the streets. But very few were admitted into care.

In this care, Carina was also fortunate to get some semblance of an education. She's literate, well-spoken, has a higher-than-average understanding of the world around her, and is even tutored to near-fluency in Italian. The objective of this education is to turn Carina into a young lady worthy of polite society, and who can take up a working position in an upper-class household.

And this is what happens. Her first job is as a maid to the extremely wealthy Lady Devonshire, but she doesn't stay in this position for long. After bonding over their love for astronomy, she's taken in as a Lady Devonshire's ward. This is emphasised to be an elevated position that earns her a room in the estate, relief from her duties as a maid, and even curtseys from the other staff. She's in this role for four years before she leaves for St. Martin, directly before the events of the film.

The point of this context is to show that whilst canon!Carina has absolutely suffered hardship and discrimination (I am by NO means saying that 18th c. orphanages were good places to live), she still had a relatively privileged and sheltered life, compared to others like her, before DMTNT. She was brought up by and lived in "polite" society as a member of it in her own right, and so naturally reflects some of the attitudes that she doesn't yet know to challenge.

Before DMTNT, her perceptions aren't challenged

Carina doesn't live in a period where privileged society understood the links between social/financial desperation and piracy. Until you either lived or saw it for yourself, what evidence did you have to know to challenge the narrative? Carina grew up far removed from anywhere where she could see or experience it first-hand, and had nothing but stories and what she was taught to go by. And let's also be honest - real-life piracy could reap violent and unjustified consequences for innocent people. Without ever meeting a pirate for herself, or having a sympathetic example to relate to, how can see them as anything but the bogeyman?

Carina isn't a perfect person. She's highly flawed, and only truly understands how social barriers have impacted her and influenced her choices. Part of her journey throughout DMTNT is learning how they impact others, too.

Her first impressions of pirates don't exactly challenge them either (tw: sexism, objectification)

Carina's first encounters with pirates include being tricked and thrown off a building, bound and held captive, continuously condescended for being a woman, sexually objectified, and countless other pretty shit things that don't really do much to challenge what she thinks she knows.

Jack's crew treat her pretty awfully and belittle her throughout most of the film, and Jack's has his moments too (undressing scene on the boat, anyone?). I actually take issue with this narratively as a lot of this treatment makes no sense given the events of the previous films. But it's "canon", and it's pretty reasonable for Carina to feel negatively towards the only pirates she's met under those circumstances.

She isn't shown any respect from a pirate until Barbossa gives her the wheel of the Black Pearl, and even then we get that stupid line from Mullroy/Murtogg: "Sir, you wouldn't allow a woman to steer your ship...?"

Honestly? Throughout most of the film, Carina doesn't get to meet a "good" pirate who she can empathise with. By the end, she has both a shared experience and familial connection to begin the process of challenging her perceptions, but little else to take it further.

Do I think her views would continue post DMTNT?

No, I don't. Finding out Barbossa was her father was the first "big" step towards canon!Carina empathising more with at least one pirate. But even then, I headcanon that she would have a really hard time coming to terms with it, and the objectively awful things he's done, once the initial emotion wore off.

What Carina needs is to meet not awful examples of pirates that don't interact with her exclusively with put-downs, discrimination, and objectification, and learn more about what motivates them/the hardships they're often trying to escape. I think later conversations with both Will and Elizabeth would go a long way towards this in Canon, and am hoping to explore this with other characters here too.

I actually think Carina would eventually find some elements of piracy attractive. The idea of living a comparatively "free" life outside of society's constraints, and getting to "fight back" against the authorities that have persecuted her for so long.

BUT, I don't believe she'd ever really be on board with violence and acting against the innocent. Not outside my more "Dark Carina" verse anyway.

Does she take this view towards everything she's taught by society?

Absolutely not. I am not saying at all that Carina accepts all truths as taught by society as being absolute truths, including ones that don't relate to her. She is not discriminatory, or judgemental, and society was (and is) in many, many ways. But it's easier for her to accept "all pirates bad" as truth when there's significant evidence to support it right in front of her.

Summary? It's hard to challenge what you're taught as an absolute until you know how to. Carina does this well in some areas, but not in others - and that includes piracy. DMTNT gave her nothing to challenge her perceptions, so I'm going to do it here instead ;)

#✧ — headcanons #✧ — long post #{ I don't know if I explained this very well }#{ I just think that as much as Carina challenges social expectations she knows are bogus she doesn't know to challenge this one }#{ especially after having bad personal experiences }#{ she knows there's no way a person can be born lesser than another (i.e. being a woman) }#{ but she doesn't yet understand why someone would choose piracy when she associates it with violence and cruelty }

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searchingwardrobes · 4 years

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The Early Leaf’s a Flower: 11/11

I can't believe we are at the end of this fic! I am immensely proud of it, and I am so thankful for those who were willing to go on the journey with me to re-imagine Someone to Watch Over Me. I feel like the original was just a germ of an idea, and this event gave me the courage to build an entire world around it. A world similar to canon, yet unique. World building has never been my strength, and this re-write stretched me and helped me grow. In that way, I am so thankful to the ladies in the csrt discord chat, especially @optomisticgirl who stepped in as one of my last minute betas. B, you are the queen of world-building, and you have no idea how many times you helped me in chats to work out my own world in this story! Character development was also a big challenge in this fic, and for that I thank @shippingtheswann, my other beta. Emma and Killian's relationship wouldn't be as rich if not for you! And thank you to @distant-rose for helping me with the Lost Boys, the pirate crew, and the Neverland mythos. (If you ever need any info on pirates and ships, she's your girl!) I was nervous to take the story into some dark places, but you cheered me on and helped me trust my instincts. And of course, tons of thanks to the mods of this event at @captainswanbigbang. I was contemplating abandoning this fic until I saw you were organizing this, so massive kudos for putting this on!

One final thing, and I'll shut up and get to the actual chapter. My original vision for this fic was to take it where people had been begging me to - with Emma reuniting with her parents and the fall out from that - yet with my own version of the Enchanted Forest and the curse. However, as I worked on the story, I realized I had bitten off way too much. Therefore, I decided to split up the story. Sooo, this isn't the end! There will be a part two, which I am already working on. I will not be posting it until it is complete. It is shorter than this story, however, so hopefully the wait won't be too long!

Summary: She saw eyes that were the blue of the forget me not peering at her through the cracked door of the wardrobe. He saw hair as gold as the buttercups. Why does the wardrobe keep bringing them back to one another, if fate keeps tearing them apart? Or maybe fate has her reasons …

Rating: M for sexy times, violence, canonical character death, and attempted rape (all in previous chapters - this last chapter is mostly fluff)

Words: 6k and some change in this chapter

** Complete and updated every Monday** Also on Ao3

Emma and Killian: Age 24

When Emma was a little girl, she had found a book of fairy tale stories at the school library. Inside was a picture of a little cottage by the sea made of a hodgepodge of stones and a thatched roof, and rolling all around it were hills of soft grass. She can no longer remember what story the illustration accompanied, but she does remember how often she would stare at that picture, thinking how cozy the family must have been who lived in that house. She checked the book out every chance she got, and when she was moved yet again to a new foster family and a new school, she had committed a grievous sin: she had ripped the picture out of the library book.

Well, it had felt like a grievous sin to her seven year old self. Especially when the sweet librarian, Miss Stacy, had reminded them gently on numerous occasions of the proper way to treat the books. Ripping pages was definitely not the proper way.

Somewhere along the line, she had lost that ripped page. Yet here, below her now, nestled in the dip of the hills and facing the sea along the shores of Avalon, is that dream house of her childhood.

“Killian,” is all she can manage to say.

“Do you like it?” he asks, dipping his chin and scratching behind his ear. How can he be nervous giving her such a gift? Henry yells in delight and races down the hill towards the cottage.

Finally, she finds her voice again. “Like it? I dreamed of a house like this. When I was a kid.”

“Truly?” he asks incredulously, eyes bright with hope.

“Yes!” she exults, throwing her arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses. She shakes her head as she pulls back, cupping his face with her hands. “But we can’t live here. Won’t you miss the sea?”

“A pirate ship is no place to raise our son, and besides . . . “ he pulls her closer to the quaint home. Once they crest the hill, the land levels out, and the view is breathtaking. “ . . . there’s the sea right at our back door,” he finishes with a wide grin.

“Mama,” Henry cries as he comes flying out the front door, “can I pick out my room? There are three. Cause I want the one upstairs. Can I have the one upstairs?”

Emma laughs at her son’s barrage of questions. Killian reaches down and scoops up the wriggling child.

“Sorry, my boy, but you’re mum gets first choice.” He successfully cuts off the lad’s whines by tickling him. Then he sets Henry down upon his feet and ruffles his hair. “In the meantime, why don’t you pick some flowers for your mother? The field over there is carpeted with them.”

Killian points west away from the sea, and Henry eagerly scampers off. Emma calls after him to be careful.

“Don’t go too far! Make sure you can still see the house!”

“He’ll be fine, Swan,” Killian assures her, pulling her inside the house. “He never fell overboard on the Jolly despite your worrying, now did he?”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Haha, that really puts my mind at ease.”

Killian winks at her, then gives her a tour of the first floor, which is bigger than she would have expected. There’s a small foyer, then a formal sitting room to the right and a formal dining room to the left. At the end of the hall is a kitchen that opens up into a family room with a stone fireplace identical to the one in the parlor. Next to the stove in the kitchen is a door that opens out onto a patio with an even better view of the rocky sea below. Between the hallway and the kitchen is another door that leads into the master bedroom. The bed is tucked right beneath the window, and Emma can imagine falling asleep to the soothing sounds of the crashing waves.

“There’s no indoor plumbing like in your realm,” Killian explains as Emma circles the room, her hand skimming over the furnishings, “but there is a stream practically in our backyard, and the kitchen is large enough to put a tub in one corner.”

Emma pauses in her explorations and arches a brow at him. “You think I’m going to complain about a lack of plumbing after six months on the Jolly Roger?”

Killian manages another nervous laugh. “So you like it?”

She steps close to him, resting both of her palms on his chest. “I’m more worried if you’ll like it. You won’t miss the adventures at sea?”

“As I’ve said many times, piracy is ten percent adventure, ninety percent sheer boredom.” He lifts one of her hands and kisses it. “I’m ready for a life with you and Henry. I’m ready for the family I haven’t had since my mother passed.”

Tears well in Emma’s eyes. It’s still hard to believe sometimes that anyone would choose her, put her first. Yet this man isn’t just anyone, is he?

“Besides,” Killian says, thumbing her chin, “the Jolly still belongs to us.”

“But are you really satisfied turning her into a merchant ship? Is your crew?”

He draws her close, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Mason has always wanted to go to the naval academy, and with a year or two on a respectable merchant ship, he can. Hawkins wants to go to university, and Curly is looking at a plot of land to purchase and farm. Starkey has a sweetheart in Camelot, though he’s tried to hide it. As captain of my vessel, he can now ask for her hand. They’ve all grown up, Swan, and they have dreams and plans of their own.”

“And they’re loyal to their first captain,” Emma amends with a smile.

“I don’t know why.”

“I do,” she tells him, brushing a kiss to his cheek. “Are you sure you won’t get bored doing ledgers, placing orders, or whatever else merchants do?”

Killian shakes his head and bops her nose. “Quit doubting me, love! Besides,” he leans closer and stage whispers in her ear, “don’t tell anyone this, but I rather enjoy keeping the ledgers.”

Emma finds the nerd beneath his swashbuckling swagger incredibly sexy for some reason. “Well then,” she teases, stepping away from him to saunter over to the large bed. She grasps one of the bedposts and drapes herself around it in what she hopes is a sexy maneuver. “In that case, Mister Jones, maybe we should christen this bed.”

Killian growls and pounces, yanking her close and claiming her lips hungrily. Emma’s just dropped to the bed with a giggle when Henry comes pounding inside.

“Watcha doin?”

Emma almost falls to the floor in her haste to push Killian off her and jump to her feet. “Um, Papa’s just . . . tickling me.”

Killian chokes as he tries to hold back a laugh, but Henry is oblivious. Their son sticks out his hand, and clenched in his fist are a bunch of small yellow flowers.

“Oh, well, I did what Papa said and got you some flowers, Mama!”

“Buttercups!” Emma can’t help the tears that spill down her cheeks. “Thank you Henry!”

She picks up her son as Killian steps closer. He embraces both of them, brushing kisses to the tops of their heads.

“Welcome home, my loves,” he tells them.

******************************

After removing his boots by the door, Killian tiptoes through the cottage, the light of the full moon helping him avoid the furniture, Henry’s toys, and Emma’s shoes which she always leaves wherever she happens to kick them off. When he gets to the kitchen, he’s able to light a lamp so he can find the supper that Emma promised to leave on the stove. The Jolly was late coming into port, and going through the inventory took much longer than he had anticipated. Luckily, Emma is used by now to that most unpredictable of mistresses: the sea.

“Killian?”

The sound of his name is weak, yet he can still make it out on the other side of their bedroom door. He crosses to the bedroom, opening the door as quietly as possible. Emma’s curled up on the bed, her hair lit gold by the moon, and she’s so still he thinks maybe he didn’t hear her after all. He wants to reach out and touch her, yet he doesn’t want to wake her.

“Killian? Killian?”

She stirs slightly, but it’s clear she is still half asleep as she mumbles his name.

“Aye love, it’s me.”

“Killian?”

“Yes?” He touches her lightly through the blankets.

She says his name a few more times, like a question, and he can’t help smiling at how disoriented she is. He’s learned over the past year that she does in fact talk in her sleep. She finally seems satisfied that he’s here, and that he’s Killian. Her body relaxes and she mumbles good on a sigh. He pats her gently again and turns to go, but before he can, she reaches out and manages to find his hook in the dark.

“But you’re not leaving?” she asks, still in that sleepy voice.

The question makes his heart swell. “No love, I’m not leaving.”

“Henry’s not leaving?”

He lifts his hook and brushes his lips across her hand, which clings to the metal tightly. “No, Swan.”

She lets out a little shudder and releases his hook. He bends, brushes a kiss to her brow, then turns back to the kitchen.

“Killian, have we done this before?”

The question has him frozen with his hand on the doorknob. He isn’t sure what she means by the question.

“I only just got home, Emma,” he tells her gently.

“Oh,” she murmurs, sleep finally beginning to claim her fully and slurring her words. “I guess I dreamed it, then.”

Killian tiptoes out and slowly closes the door behind him. He chuckles to himself as he sits down at the table with the food Emma had left on the stove. Yet as he takes a bite of the roast on his plate, he sobers. He hates the fears that sometimes plague Emma. He wonders how long it will take for the love in their little home to ease them.

******************************

Killian awakes the next morning to the banging of pots and pans, sometimes punctuated by curses in their small kitchen. He may have had second thoughts about the location of the master bedroom if he had been aware of the fact that Emma was completely incapable of moving about quietly.

“Can I have more strawberries, Mama?” Henry calls out, far louder than necessary, and Killian groans as he shoves the pillow over his head.

“Shhh,” Emma admonishes, in the exact same volume as their son, “you’ll wake up Papa.”

“Why’s he not up? He said he’d bring home more paper for me.”

“You know the ship doesn’t always arrive on time. Now eat.”

Killian flings aside the pillow with a sigh, knowing that getting any more shut eye is impossible. Yet as he buckles his brace and slips into his shirt, he only feels joy well inside his chest. He did get Henry more paper for his scribbles, and he can’t wait to hear what tall tales the lad will weave next. He can’t, at only six, truly write yet, but he feels with fatherly pride that it’s merely a prelude of what is to come.

Once he’s dressed, he grabs the parcels wrapped in brown paper and string that he’d hidden in the nightstand before he went to bed. He tucks them under his hooked arm, then bursts through the bedroom door. “Making an entrance,” as Emma would say.

“Papa!” Henry cries out, tossing aside his fork and jumping up from the kitchen table.

“Killian!” Emma admonishes, turning from the stove with a spatula in her hand. “I was trying to let you sleep.”

“A pointless endeavor, love,” he quips with a wink. Emma rolls her eyes and turns back to the stove. Henry leaps onto his back, trying to grab the parcels.

“Whaddya get me, Papa?”

“Well, get off me, you little monkey, and I’ll show you.” Henry slides to the floor, and Killian hands him the largest parcel. “Paper, as requested.”

“Yay! But what’s the other one?”

Killian hands him the small, compact, rectangular package and grins as Henry rips into it. The paper falls away to reveal a leather bound book with beautiful gilt-edged pages and hand painted illustrations in deep hues.

“That, my boy, is a book of tales from Agrabah where the air smells like spices and the sultanese keeps a tiger for a pet!”

“Wow! Will you read it to me right now?”

Killian glances over his shoulder at his wife. “Not until after you eat your breakfast.”

He ruffles Henry’s hair, and the boy obeys. Killian turns to the stove where Emma is purposefully keeping her back to him, though he can’t fathom why. He saunters up behind her and leans over her shoulder, breathing in the vanilla scent of her hair.

“Mmm, something smells delicious.”

“It’s just pancakes,” she retorts, but she is unable to hide her smile.

“I wasn’t talking about breakfast,” he growls lower against her skin. He feels her shiver beneath him, but when he tries to grab her around the waist, she dodges him. She grabs the plate of pancakes and carries them to the table.

“Eat them before they get cold,” she says with forced cheerfulness, and he frowns. She sits next to Henry, sliding a pancake onto the boy’s plate, and Killian sits as well.

“I got you something too,” he tells her, sliding a small parcel across the table with his hook.

Emma still refuses to meet his gaze, fiddling with the string around the square package that could fit in the palm of her hand. “You know I never need anything but you.”

“Yet a man likes to spoil his bride. Go ahead, open it.”

She glances up at him from beneath her lashes, then tears into the paper with a tentative smile. It falls away to reveal a small velvet box, and Emma gasps before she’s even lifted the lid. When she does finally open it with trembling fingers, she breathes out his name. Killian slides off his chair and falls to his knees next to her. He pulls the gold ring with its simple jade stone reverently from the velvet and slides it onto the ring finger of her left hand.

“I promised you I would get you a ring the day we wed, remember?”

Emma nods, staring at the gem and turning it in the light.

“I know diamonds are the usual choice, but this immediately made me think of your eyes. Then the gold like your hair . . . “ he trails off worriedly. “Emma?”

She looks up at him finally - and promptly bursts into tears. Killian glances at Henry worriedly.

“Take your breakfast outside on the patio, okay?”

Henry nods and scurries off without argument, his brown eyes wide as he glances at his mother. Killian rubs his wife’s back and whispers soothing words, most of them nonsense. He hands Emma his handkerchief, and she wipes it across her eyes, then blows her nose loudly. She cocks her head at him, and the words out of her mouth are the last ones he expected.

“Did we have a conversation when you came home last night?”

“Um . . . yes, love. You said my name about a hundred times then asked if I was staying.”

Emma nods, twisting his handkerchief in her hands. “I thought so. Did I ask if we’d done this before?”

Killian laughs and rubs her back again. “Yes, you did. I wasn’t sure if you meant last night, our entire marriage, or since we were ten.”

Emma nods, but says nothing. He’s entirely confused. It isn’t like Emma to cry out of nowhere. Or refuse to look at him. Or dodge his touch. He’s beginning to become concerned, truth be told.

“If you don’t like the ring -”

“Of course I like it! It’s perfect!”

“What then?”

“Oh God,” Emma pants, hugging her middle and looking up at the ceiling. “Last night, I dreamed about this conversation. In my dream - my nightmare - you got angry and left.”

Killian’s brow furrows. “I can assure you, Swan, nothing you can tell me would ever make me leave.”

She levels him with a steady gaze. “You used to. Through the wardrobe.” He starts to open his mouth, but she lifts her hand to stop him. “I know it wasn’t intentional, and I’m not blaming you, I just . . . I just . . .”

He grasps her hand firmly in his. “Breathe, love, it’s okay. You just get scared sometimes. It’s okay. So do I.”

“You do?” her voice sounds so small and fragile that it breaks his heart.

“Aye, of course. It has nothing to do with love or trust. The wounds of childhood tend to linger.”

“But I do trust you!” she exclaims.

He draws nearer and cups her cheek. “I know that. That’s my point entirely. The fears are irrational, for both of us. Now, what is it you have to tell -”

He stills when Emma takes his hand and places it on her abdomen. It’s different somehow, and he freezes. He had noticed the last time they made love, but couldn’t quite put his finger on the change. Now he gazes into Emma’s blushing face - how had he not noticed the sudden roundness in her cheeks? The pieces begin to fall into place - her fatigue lately, that illness that seemed to linger far too long . . .

“Emma, are you . . . “

She nods, her eyes welling up with tears again. Her tears - of course! He swallows thickly.

“Emma you’re . . . “

She grins wider, cocking her head saucily. “I’m rather proud that I’ve rendered you speechless. I think the word you’re looking for is pregnant.”

A grin fills his face, a goofy, joyous grin. “Well, I was going to say with child, actually.”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course you were, my old fashioned sailor who -”

He cuts her off with a passionate kiss, and when it ends, he scoops her up and spins her around with joy.

“Careful there, buddy. The morning sickness is mostly gone, but I make no promises that I won’t puke on you.”

“Wait,” he says, shaking his head, “how long have you known about this?”

“Well,” she hedges, “this realm doesn’t exactly have a stick you can pee on.”

“Sorry?”

She laughs, “Never mind. Let’s just say it took me awhile to figure it out, and then it took me a bit longer to get up the nerve to tell you. I’d say I’m at least twelve weeks along, probably more.”

Killian cups her face with his hand and locks his eyes intently on hers. “Do you honestly believe I would leave you over this?”

She bites her lower lip and shakes her head.

“Can’t you see now how happy this makes me?”

“Well,” she says with a shrug, “you spinning me around the kitchen sort of convinced me, I guess.”

He throws his head back and laughs before kissing her soundly again. But he doesn't do any more spinning.

No sense testing fate.

***************************

“I’m sorry, Captain Jones, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

The midwife has the audacity to grab Kilian by the arm and try to forcibly remove him from his own bedroom. On the bed, Emma is crying out as her next contraction hits.

“I’m not leaving,” Killian says firmly.

“It isn’t proper for a man to be present,” the midwife argues, though her words are almost drowned out by Emma’s cries.

“Bullshit,” Emma interrupts the argument, her breaths coming raggedly as her

birthing pains abate for the moment.

“Mrs. Jones, it just isn’t done,” the midwife snaps back, aghast.

“Well it is in the realm I come from,” Emma tells her, “not to mention the whole

impropriety thing is ridiculous. He’s obviously intimately familiar with my vagina.”

The midwife’s eyes grow impossibly large, and Killian can’t stop the chuckle that escapes him.

“Mrs Jones! It isn’t ladylike to -”

“Yeah, well ladylike has never described me anyway.”

The midwife presses her lips together in a disapproving way as she draws closer to the bed. She lowers her voice, but the woman is seventy-three and hard of hearing, so Killian can hear every word.

“I’m aware that your husband isn’t the biological father of your son, so I’m going to assume this is a bit new to you. If your husband sees you in this state, well . . . it may . . . turn him away from you, if you catch my meaning.”

Emma’s face turns a deeper shade of red that has nothing to do with her labor, and her eyes blaze in a way Killian knows well. He grins wider, knowing that his wife is about to render this woman speechless.

“My husband wasn’t complaining about my pussy when he was between my thighs last night, so I think I’m safe.”

Yep, speechless. Killian can’t help winking at the midwife as he saunters past her. The woman looks like she might faint. Killian kneels beside the bed and brushes a kiss to Emma’s forehead. Her face crumples as she clutches desperately at his hand.

“She was trying to make you leave!”

“Nothing could tear me away, love.”

“Oh God!” Emma yells, drawing her knees up as another contraction rolls through her. Emma releases Killian’s hand and grabs onto his hook instead as she groans in pain. This one is stronger than the last, and just as Killian is about to lose his mind because he can’t help her, she collapses against the mattress.

“I didn’t want to break your one good hand,” she tells him with a wane smile.

“I appreciate that,” he quips back with a lopsided grin.

The midwife has pushed the sheets back and is examining Emma. “Well, Mrs. Jones, your contractions are longer and closer together, but the baby isn’t crowning yet. We’ve got a while still.”

Emma whimpers and shakes her head. “It didn’t take this long when Henry came.”

Killian puts his arm around her and whispers that he loves her. She drops her head wearily to his chest, and he kisses her sweaty brow. Another hour goes by the same way, and it feels like time has stopped altogether. Killian feels her labor is unceasing, so he can’t imagine what it must be like for her. Though she’s clearly exhausted, he’s amazed at her strength.

“I see the head!” the midwife finally says excitedly, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. “Can you push for me when the next contraction hits, Emma?”

The look on his wife’s face is full of determination as she draws her knees up. He sees her tense when the pain comes again, but she bears down with a scream. She has to do the same thing again, and again, and yet again before the midwife laughs out that the baby’s head is out. The midwife shocks him when she pushes back the sheets further and asks if he wants to see. Killian does, and he blinks back tears when he sees their baby.

“It’s almost over, Emma,” he encourages her.

Emma pushes a few more times, and finally, cries fill the air. Emma laughs even as she collapses in exhaustion. Killian kisses her and murmurs over and over how bloody brilliant she is.

“It’s a girl!” the midwife announces as she rubs the baby down with salt to fend off infection.

“A girl,” Kilian breathes and kisses his wife again.

The midwife then washes the baby off with the water Killian had boiled for her hours ago. The little thing is red, screaming, and oh so tiny, but the midwife is all business as she cleans her up and wraps her in a blanket. The woman only softens when she gently places the baby girl in Emma’s arms.

“Oh Killian, she’s so beautiful,” Emma whispers as she brushes her fingers over the baby’s cheeks.

Killian lays down sideways on the bed next to his wife and gazes in wonder down at the tiny baby. She has a tuft of dark hair on her head, and her skin is damp and feather soft beneath his fingers. She’s ceased her crying, her eyes wide as she gazes up at Emma, as if she recognizes her mother instantly.

“She has your eyes,” Emma whispers with a smile.

“And your chin and nose,” Killian adds.

“And your ears,” Emma says, her thumb tracing over them.

“Poor thing.”

“Hey,” Emma admonishes, tearing her gaze away from the baby, “I love your ears.”

They just gaze down at her for several moments, Killian grinning broadly when the baby’s tiny fingers wrap around his pinkie. A tear slips down his face, and Emma reaches up to wipe it away.

“Do you want to hold her, Papa?”

He can only nod, his emotions overwhelming him. He gathers the bundle into his arms, holding her close to his chest and out of the way of his hook.

“What shall we name her, Swan?”

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot, actually. I sort of had a feeling she was a girl, and well . . . there’s only one name that seems fitting. A name that I will always associate with love and home.”

“I know exactly what you’re referring to, my love, and I think it’s absolutely perfect.”

There’s a soft knock at the door, and they both turn their heads to see Starkey in the doorway with Henry in tow. Kilian grins.

“Henry, would you like to come meet your baby sister Martha?”

Henry’s eyes are wide as he draws closer to the bed. Emma reaches out and encourages her son to climb up and join them. He settles in next to his mother and leans over to look at the baby.

“She’s pink,” he observes, and they laugh.

“She won’t be forever,” Killian explains, “all babies are that way at first.”

“Even me?”

“Yes,” Emma teases, kissing his cheek, “even you.”

Henry gets bored of the baby fairly quickly and asks if he can go back down to the beach with Starkey. After he leaves, Emma and Killian cuddle together to love on Martha, until she starts to fuss.

“Okay,” the midwife says briskly, “Papa needs to leave so Mama can nurse.”

She let’s Killian stay the minute she sees Emma’s scowl.

Emma and Killian: Age 28

“Papa, again, again!”

Killian laughs as his three-year-old daughter makes futile attempts to move the rocking horse back and forth. “Okay, okay, anything for my cygnet.” He presses his hook down on the horse’s tail, setting it in motion again as his little girl squeals with delight.

Emma laughs too from her chair by the fireplace. “That’s the truth. You know the kids don’t need you to bring gifts every time you’re away.”

“It’s part of the inventory I own, love, I can do what I please with it.”

“You spoil us.”

“Happily.”

He winks at his wife as she settles back into her chair and sips contentedly on her mug of hot chocolate - another gift from his latest shipment. Business is booming with the addition of a second ship. Starkey is still the captain of the Jolly while Nibs has taken the helm of the Jewel II. The Jolly is what sets Killian’s business apart, however. With the pegasus sail, it’s able to bring exotic goods from far away realms that no other merchants can acquire. Though Hawkins, Mason, and Curly all left to pursue their respective dreams, Killian had no trouble replacing them nor acquiring a crew for Captain Nibs. Jones Shipping has developed a reputation for treating their sailors well, and Killian has been able to hire the very best at sea.

The Jones family enjoys frequent trips on the Jolly as well, with renovated accommodations that Killian made specifically to make his family more comfortable. Henry and Martha are just as content at sea as they are on land, though this little cottage of theirs is always a joy to come home to.

Killian continues to rock Martha on her new toy as his gaze lands on Henry, now nine years old. As usual, he wanted more paper and pencils, which he goes through at an alarming pace. His writing is incredibly engaging and complex for a boy his age, and Killian couldn’t be more proud. Henry’s no slouch behind the wheel of the Jolly, either, and can read the stars as well as any of Killian’s crew. No father has ever been more blessed than he.

Their domestic evening scene is disrupted by a knock at the door. Emma frowns as she rises to her feet, setting her mug down on the coffee table.

“Who could that be?”

When Emma opens the door, she lets out a pleasantly surprised gasp to find Tinkerbell and Tiger Lily standing there. Despite Martha’s protests, Killian joins Emma at the door with his little girl balanced on his hip. There’s the typical round of greetings, hugs, and exclamations over how much the children have grown, but Emma and Killian both get the feeling this isn’t just a social visit. Not at this time of day, and not by the looks of those nervous expressions on the fairies’ faces.

“I just brought home cocoa and tea from Agrabah,” Killian tells his old friends. “Would you like some?”

“Yes, that would be nice,” Tiger Lily says, “tea for me, please.”

“I’ll take some cocoa,” Tink adds, “remember how Wendy used to love it?”

“Yes, she sure did,” Killan says, his mind going back in time to a frightened little girl with leaves in her hair. He hopes wherever she is, that Wendy is happy.

“Um, Henry,” Emma says slowly, “why don’t you take Martha upstairs with her new rocking horse?”

Killian holds his breath for the lad to protest. His baby sister in his room isn’t his favorite thing in the world, but the boy must pick up on the tension radiating off the fairies because he immediately agrees.

“Come on, Martha,” Henry tells her as he hoists up the rocking horse, “I bet I can rock you even faster than Papa.”

Martha squeals in delight and eagerly follows the big brother she idolizes up the stairs. Emma settles in at the kitchen table with the fairies while Killian goes to the stove.

“What’s this all about?”

That’s his wife, direct as always. Tiger Lily sighs and cuts a quick glance over to Tink.

“Emma . . . “ she says slowly.

“We found your parents!” Tink interrupts, practically vibrating with excitement. Tiger Lily rolls her eyes.

“What?” Emm breathes, and Killian abandons the tea pot to rush to her side and take her hand. “Are you sure?”

“Well, lost princesses are more common than you might think,” Tiger Lily says dryly, “but in the case of the lost princess of Misthaven, it all adds up.”

“Adds up to you, Emma,” Tink put in. “The birthmark, the princess’s birthdate, the wardrobe - all of it!”

“Wait,’ Killian interjects, “did you just say wardrobe?”

He’s cut off by the whistling of the teapot, and he goes quickly to retrieve it from the stove.

“I think we need to start from the beginning, Tink,” Tiger Lily says as Killian sets out the tea and cocoa on the table. When he joins the women, he draws his chair as close as he can to his wife so he can put his arm around her and take her hand.

“You may have heard the tales about Snow White, her Prince Charming, and their battles with the Evil Queen,” Tiger Lily begins.

“Snow White and Prince Charming?” Emma asks. “You mean they’re real?”

“Says the woman married to Captain Hook and having tea with Tinkerbell and Tiger Lily,” Killian quips, earning him an eye roll from his wife. She’s told him the version of Neverland in her former realm - a ridiculous version, in his opinion.

“Yes, they’re real, silly,” Tink says with a shake of her blond curls.

“I’ve heard of them,” Killian says, “go on.”

“Well,” Tiger Lily continues, “you may have heard that though they banished the Evil Queen after taking back the kingdom, she returned when Snow was with child. She cursed the baby with an evil spell.”

“Yes,” Killian says with a shake of his head, “and it came to pass. The child came too soon and died.”

“No, she did come too soon, but the child did not die. Secretly, the Blue Fairy helped the court woodworker fashion an enchanted wardrobe -”

Emma gasps and clutches her husband’s hand tighter. “Killian! A wardrobe!”

“I know, love,” he whispers.

“The wardrobe was supposed to send Snow safely to a land without magic where the curse couldn’t touch the unborn child,” Tiger Lily says.

“It could only carry one,” Tink clarifies.

“But the baby came too soon, so they had no choice but to send the child through alone. The Evil Queen and her minions were mounting an attack on the castle, so they had no more time.”

Killian nods. “I’ve heard of that battle. It’s a favorite tale in every realm, though not one with a happy ending. The Evil Queen was slain, and everyone was led to believe that in the chaos, Queen Snow lost the child.”

“And you believe this baby was me?” Emma asks softly.

Tiger Lily reaches across the table and gently turns over Emma’s left wrist. “The Blue Fairy cast a spell over you in the womb so that when you were born, this mark would be upon you. So your parents would know you when you found them.”

Emma’s eyes well up with tears. “How did they know I would ever find them?”

“They had faith and hope. Even with the Evil Queen dead, her curse still remained until your 21st birthday.”

Tink jumps in, bouncing on her seat. “The best part, Tiger Lily, tell them the best part!”

Tiger Lily smiles indulgently at the blonde. “I think you’d like to tell them, so go ahead.”

“The Rose Fairy imparted a gift to you, Emma - that the wardrobe would bring you your true love, and that when the time was right, he would lead you home.”

Emma turns to Killian, her eyes bright with tears as she cups his face. “Our wardrobe, Killian, that’s why it appeared to us.”

He shakes his head in wonder. “Emma, I know how you feel about me, but true love? That’s the strongest magic of all. Surely someone more worthy . . . “

Emma’s face softens as tears slip free and roll down her cheeks. “Don’t you see? The wardrobe brought us together right when we needed one another the most. Right before I lost Martha, right before you lost your brother and Milah. Then it brought us together for good when you found Henry.”

Killian lets out a breath of wonder as Emma’s thumb traces the scar on his cheek. “We always find one another, don’t we?”

Tiger Lily and Tink both beam as they speak again.

“It’s funny you should say that -”

“Because it’s kind of your family motto.”

To Be Continued . . . . 😉

Tagging: @snowbellewells @kmomof4 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @teamhook @bethacaciakay @let-it-raines @welllpthisishappening @wellhellotragic @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx @courtorderedcake @branlovestowrite @hollyethecurious @vvbooklady1256 @profdanglaisstuff @carpedzem @ekr032-blog-blog @jennjenn615 @tiganasummertree @lfh1226-linda @ultraluckycatnd @spartanguard @shireness-says @scientificapricot @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke @superchocovian @sherlockianwhovian @snidgetsafan @ohmakemeahercules @thislassishooked @ilovemesomekillianjones @nikkiemms @delirious-latenight-laughs

#cs ff #csrt #captain swan rewrite a thon #cs neverland au #cs canon divergence #magic wardrobe #fate #soul mates #angst #slow burn #childhood sweethearts

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waywardwrestlewritingwaif · 4 years

Text

Shelter (Part Two)

Pairing: Jay White x OFC (Estella)

Word count: 2,814

Content advisory: nothing, really, other than a wee bit of violence

You’ll need to read part one for this to make sense.

During the course of the next day, I demanded to be able to speak to Hannah and to my cousin, as well as to receive news of the two guards who had accompanied us. None of these requests was granted and at that point I realized that I was not so much a guest in the castle as a prisoner. I couldn't imagine what strategic purpose I would serve but evidently there were political games afoot of which I had no understanding. Finally, after two full days, I was graced by a visit from our host and captor.

Jay strode into my chambers at least more decently dressed than the night we’d arrived. Still, he wore no coat and he carried a bottle of wine that he drank from liberally as he paced around the room and his expression was far from what one would expect of a man greeting an equal.

“I understand that you’ve asked to speak to me,” he hissed, eyes lighting on mine like somehow my request had constituted an act of war.

“You know good and well why I have. You’ve no right keeping my servants and I like prisoners here. We came to you seeking aid and we gave you no reason to feel threatened. What excuse do you have for your behavior?”

“You seem unaware of how things are in these parts. Every week, there are attacks from the Scots in the north. Every week, his majesty in London sends more troops in the name of protecting the border but who keep an eye out to see whose lands can be plundered and claimed for the crown. And every week, dozens of men return dead and dying. You do not get to pass through these parts unmolested, no matter who you are. To gain safe passage, you need to pay the toll.”

“As much as I would like to think such piracy was beneath the noble classes,” I growled, “had you indicated that you were simply a mercenary looking for a reward, I would have offered you plenty. You did not need to resort to kidnapping me and my companions. Even now, though it pains me to entreat with you as an equal, I tell you to name your price. We have already lost time, which we can ill afford. So settle your price, have your grooms prepare our horses and allow us to leave without any further delay.”

Jay’s eyes widened as I spoke and as I finished, he laughed loudly in response.

“My dear Estella, what a delightful sense of humor you’ve developed,” he chuckled. He walked a slow circle around me, sardonic laughter tumbling from him as he spoke. “You think you’re in a position to give me orders, to tell me what will and won’t happen in my own castle. You and your party arrive out of nowhere, with no proper explanation of what you’re doing in these parts. Your father is a well-established lord whose lands have doubled in size during his lifetime. Your sister is married to one of the most powerful men in the country, an ally of the King who stands to become the lord of half the country if he can establish a stronghold in the north. And you are married into the royal family of Cumbria, whose reach extends further to the east each year.

“And you would have me believe that you just happened to find yourself stranded on this road, that your clever servants brought you up this way rather than taking the much safer routes to the south?”

He stopped his pacing and stepped close enough to me that I could feel his breath on my face.

“Estella, dear cousin, why don’t you tell me what your real purpose is here?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I stammered, feeling nervous although I had no reason. “Everything I’ve told you is the truth and I have no ulterior motives. You wound me by suggesting otherwise.”

His blue-green eyes locked onto mine with an expression I couldn’t quite read but which terrified me. I moved to back away from him but he caught my arm and held me in place, his fingers digging painfully into my flesh. A smile that seemed more madness than mirth crossed his face as he walked me backwards until I was pressed against the wall.

He ran his hand up my arm and cupped my cheek in his hand, pressing his face close to mine. I felt my body running hot and cold in waves, frightened of what he meant to do to me and at the same time wanting to know what was in store.

“Do you remember the last time we saw each other, Ella?”

I nodded, unsure how to relate this to what had come before.

“Do you remember when we left your home, how you took your leave of me? Do you remember the kiss on the cheek you gave me?”

His lips pressed against my skin as he spoke and I leaned into the contact, unsure why.

“I do,” I rasped. “But it was a childish gesture. I didn’t mean…”

I could not think of how to finish the sentence, alarmed and excited as I was at the feeling of his chiseled chest against me, pinning me in place.

“I’ve thought of it often,” he murmured, lips trailing over my neck and jaw. “I was too young at the time to even understand why it affected me so. But I’ve had more than enough time to reflect on the feelings you stirred in me. Tell me, have I stirred anything in you? Have you thought about me?”

I stammered trying to come up with a response. Of course I had thought of him. I was embarrassed at how I’d imagined that he might be the boy who left and returned a gallant knight of a man, a romantic hero. At the same time, it was obvious he was no hero to me. I was his captive based on his specious ideas about tribal warfare in these parts. Perhaps his licentiousness had made him believe that there were no people with pure and gentle motives any longer. I wanted to understand but it didn’t matter as long as he was keeping me locked in here like an enemy. Nevertheless, I continued to lean into him, lips inclined towards his until they touched almost of their own accord.

The kiss was slow and tentative but I felt the echoes of it reverberate through every part of my body. I wanted it to continue but he pushed me back roughly against the wall, snapping his body away from mine as if emerging from a trance. I surprised myself by trying to cling to him, although I could think of no reason to do so. But to my embarrassment, he detached himself from me like I was a spider’s web, shoving me away with the same intensity he’d pulled me in.

“You feign innocence so well, I believe you could seduce all the kings of Europe,” he snarled. “I’m fortunate to have been alerted to your duplicitousness before you could claim my head for your mantle.”

“You wound me. I have been nothing but honest and open with you. You are the one who has played the villain, holding me captive, inventing stories of intrigue between nobles, speaking in riddles when I have told you clearly that I wish only to pass through your lands to my father’s home in Northumbria to see him before he dies.”

There were tears in my eyes and in my voice as I watched his emotionless face glaring back at me. I stepped forward and tried to capture his hand in mine, hoping the contact would remind him of our ancient familial bond, but he swung himself out of my way, leaving me grasping at the air.

“My father is very sick. My mother is taken sick as well. My only reason for journeying this way is that I might be able to see them and to comfort them. You have seen for yourself the love that we bear each other. How can you imagine that I would have any other reason to travel without my husband, through dangerous country?”

Without meaning to, I stumbled on the word “husband”. I had a husband, of course, but I felt there was some little deceit in calling him such when our marriage had never been fully consummated. Although I knew it was wrong, I felt like the full realization of our marriage hung upon an act I knew precious little about. Nevertheless, I saw Jay’s eyes narrow at my slight hesitance. I wished that I could make him understand that even in a point as irrelevant as this, I was incapable of deceiving him.

“I think you need more time to think about what it is you’ve come here to do,” he hissed.

I blinked and immediately felt the stream of tears down my face. “I tell you again that I have been honest with you in every detail. You know as much of what brought me here as I do. There is nothing else to know. Ask my companions if you don’t believe me!”

“Oh I have, and I will,” he retorted, a vicious kind of smile on his face.

There was a long moment where the two of us stared fire at each other, both of us straining for breath as if we had been in a literal battle, both of us refusing to capitulate. And then, as if obeying some unheard instruction, we were in each other’s arms again, lips straining to come together as our faces brushed against one another. Before we could find our way to a kiss, he thrust me violently away, my facing hitting the stone wall hard enough that I cried out. I looked to him, trying to understand his sudden reversal, but I only saw him hurry from the room, his hand touching the grip of the dagger he wore strapped to his waist.

I held my aching face, crying into my hands for some time until I finally made my way to the lumpy mattress where I tried to sleep. I didn’t know who this man was, this man I’d called family, this man I believed I once knew and even cared for. I didn’t understand his anger and violence towards me, especially since I knew I’d done nothing to provoke it. But most frightening of all, I did not understand the physical sensations he stirred in me. These were not the feelings I’d had when imagining my own version of the heroes of the books I read. Nor were they feelings of revulsion. In fact, what I felt was the opposite of both of those things at once and I had no idea what that meant.

These thoughts kept me preoccupied enough that I passed a fitful night and found it difficult to stay awake during the day. The serving women appointed to me tutted their disapproval when they saw how little I consumed of the food they brought. I ignored them, unwilling to engage in even light conversation any longer. I was trapped and maligned and assaulted by feelings I didn’t understand. If all I could do to resist was refuse the food that was brought to me, then I determined I would do that.

It was late at night when he arrived in my rooms again, this time staggering from the drink, his cheeks visibly flushed even through the thick hairs of his beard. He dropped a platter with food on the table where I was sitting before slouching against the wall.

“Eat!” he ordered, waving a hand at the food. “You’re not going to starve yourself, so stop being dramatic.”

I glared at him, gathering what pride I could muster, nostrils quivering a little at the scent of the delicious-smelling food before me and at the mix of red wine and musk that wafted from him.

“Let me and my companions go.”

He gave a sort of barking laugh and staggered over to me, grabbing a crust of bread and some sliced meat that he shoved into my mouth. I struggled instinctively, which only caused him to grab hold of my jaw and clamp his other hand over my nose, forcing me to chew and swallow if I wanted to breathe. By the time I gulped down what he’d given me, I had tears staining my cheeks, something which elicited a nasty little smile from him.

“So, my dear, are you going to eat on your own or am I going to make you?”

“On my own,” I choked, gingerly picking up another piece of bread and bringing it to my lips.

He watched as I ate the bread as quickly as I could, struggling to force it down my dry throat. Picking up on this, he jammed the bottle of wine he was holding to my mouth and poured the liquid over my lips. I was able to adjust before too much spilled but he kept the bottle in place until I was spluttering, unable to take any more.

He took a long drink from the bottle himself, winding his fingers through my hair as he did, pulling me so that I was looking up at him, my face a mess of tears and spittle. As he finished his drink, he leaned down and planted his lips on mine, hard and unkind, crushing my lips between his teeth and mine, enjoying the whimper that escaped me when a little of the wine spilled from his mouth over my tongue.

“You still think you can play me for a fool?” he snarled.

He leant forward as if he meant to kiss me again and, as if on instinct, I slid my hand over to where I knew he kept his dagger. By the time he realized what I was doing, I had pulled it free and had the blade against his throat. Intoxicated as he was, I was able to force myself against him, making sure that the blade stayed hard against his most vulnerable point, the blood visibly pumping against it as I pulled him towards the door.

“Call your guards,” I hissed to him. “But make sure your tone stays gentle.”

He followed my instructions, wild eyes locked on me while I was unable to look directly at him.

Immediately, the chief of the guard reached for his sword and I pushed the blade a little harder against Jay’s skin.

“Stay your weapons,” he rasped, frantically gesturing to his men. “Do as she says.”

“Bring my handmaid and my guards to me,” I said as evenly as I could manage. “Prepare our horses and bring them to the front. When we have made our way far enough, I’ll release your master.”

The guards hesitated until Jay nodded and indicated that they should follow my instructions.

“Are you still going to try to claim that your presence here is innocent?” Jay growled at me.

“You can think what you want. I’ve tried to treat you as a noble, as an equal, as the friend and cousin I once knew. Now I am a woman whose duty is to her family and I will be damned if I let you stand in my way.”

“Ma’am,” I heard Hannah squeak as she arrived with one of the guards.

“We are leaving, Hannah. We are going to Northumbria immediately.”

It was a long wait for the guards to bring the men and when they did, I could scarcely believe my eyes. The two strapping lads who had accompanied us to the castle, who had stood as our protectors when we first entered this place, were gone. In their place were two fleshy marionettes, broken and bent, barely capable of standing under their own power for a second or two.

I felt my breath quicken as I took in the terrible state of their bodies, trying to imagine how I could get all of us safely through to my father’s home.

“What has happened to you?” I asked as calmly as I could, looking James in the eye.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” he murmured, straining to say even that much.

“What have you done to him?”

As I tried to demand answers from the assembled men, I felt weak and in that moment, the pressure of my blade on Jay’s neck slacked ever so slightly. He realized it even before I did and in an instant I felt my arm painfully twisted and the dagger fall from my grasp. For one second, I locked eyes with James again, only to see him mouth another apology to me. Then I felt the sickening impact of a boot and my face crashed into the stone wall.

#jay white imagine #jay white fanfic #njpw imagine #wrestling fanfic #wayward wrestle writing

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otterandterrierwrites · 4 years

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{Hungry hearts} XI. Chowder and fortune cookies

A/N: Hungry Hearts is back! This is my loose interpretation of the March prompt at @hanleiachallenge: luck. It’s set during the EU novel Razor's Edge by Martha Wells, one of my favourites. I’ve always wanted to write something set in this little getaway. I'm thinking there might be one more chapter set on Hoth before ESB, then we'd move to the trip to Bespin very briefly and then jump to post RotJ, but I'm open to suggestions!

also on Ao3 // FFN

***

From the main hold, Chewie growled that there was food now but there wouldn't be for much longer so everyone better hurried up. Han rolled his eyes at the threat as he wiped the worst of the grime off his hands and face before taking a quick detour to the 'fresher. Like the big fuzzball would ever let the princess starve.

He ran into Her Worship herself on his way out of the cabin as she waited for her turn to wash her hands, Threepio tottering behind her. Thankfully, the usually oblivious droid marched on.

'Excited to see what he brought this time?' Han asked, dawdling by the open hatch.

'So far, yes,' Leia said from the 'fresher, 'although I'm a bit concerned he might start to push it soon, you know? Raise the stakes?'

'Oh yeah, I hear ya. That's definitely a concern.'

She raised an eyebrow as she joined him back in the corridor. 'Thanks, that makes me feel better.'

'Well, hey, he's never fed me anything I couldn't keep down,' he reassured her.

'Has anyone ever told you you're possibly the worst motivational speaker in the galaxy?'

The smell that greeted them as they gathered around the Dejarik table told them that, once again, Chewie had hit the mark.

They had taken a short time away from the hustle and bustle of the Rebel Alliance's fleet, hoping that the crew of the Aegis —a gunship of surviving Alderaanians who had turned to piracy after the planet's destruction—would rendezvous with them to join the cause. Two days ago, the Millennium Falcon had landed on a small trading port in Wroona, one of the Alliance's message drop points, and waited.

Han was very much okay with that. After the craziness of their last mission—nearly blown to space dust by Imperials, fighting a killer mining droid, being captured by a sadistic Lorddian pirate, nearly blown to space dust by the Imps again , all in the span of a couple days—he thought a vacation was long overdue. They couldn't go out sightseeing, or motosurfing, but he was happy to just spend some time not being shot at. Leia had probably figured that out when she'd asked him and Chewie to come with her. That, and the fact that they didn't have any duties lined up, since they were not part of the Alliance.

Chewie had taken out three round styrofoam containers out of a bag and set them on the small checkered table.

'[I hope you like Wroonian seafood chowder,]' he told them as Han and Leia slid onto the bench. '[You can go get food yourselves next time if you don't.]'

The creamy broth had chunks of frella fish and shucked nyorks with diced vegetables, and it was so delicious that nobody was in any hurry to relieve the Wookiee of his food-picking duties.

'Gotta love sea ports,' Han commented between mouthfuls. 'It could be the poorest, murkiest place, but they'll know their seafood.'

'[Oh yeah? Here I thought you would never forget about Venonduri,]' Chewie said with a titter, making Han moan with chagrin.

'What happened?' Leia asked, looking between the two friends.

'Not a story you wanna hear at lunch, Princess, trust me.'

Leia made a face. 'Oh. Got it.'

'But Princess Leia, perhaps it would be useful to know more about Venonduri!' Threepio chimed in. 'What if we visit it in the future?'

'We'll just refrain from ordering any seafood, Threepio,' Leia told him seriously, making Han and Chewie laugh.

Leia seemed to be in good spirits so far, but Han wondered how much that would last if the Aegis failed to show up today again. He knew she would act like it was no big deal in front of everyone else, but it'd be eating at her inside that she had personally failed to sway them over to her cause. Han was good at being the subject of Leia's disappointment in that department.

At least they had come to an unspoken truce after their trip to Odona, although that was another thing Han didn't know for how long it would hold. That mission, just the two of them scouting the planet's unpredictable polar continent as a potential new base, had also been kind of a mess. Not only had that one featured multi-eyed monsters and old acquaintances with a grudge, but Odona had turned out to be non-viable for the base. Also, he and Leia had snapped at each other most of the time. That wasn't anything new; they had been snapping at each other since the moment they had met—but then, for a while, they hadn't, or not as seriously and constantly, at least, and it had been nice. Then they started doing it again, but things were different from what it had been like in the beginning, and their fights took longer to digest, and while they did, they corroded Han's insides a bit, like acid. It wasn't like he set out to fight with her, either, but that's where they seemed to land anyway.

Han knew where this ended if they chose the alternative to fighting. He'd been there a couple of times, and sworn he never would again.

'We certainly don't get much fresh fish these days,' Leia said with a sigh then, dabbing her mouth with a paper napkin.

'We can get some before we go,' Han offered. 'It'll keep for one meal at least, for when we get back.'

'Oh, I could ask but I don't think they will clear an expense like that. Fresh fish for the whole fleet… that's not going to be cheap.'

Han frowned. Who said anything about fish for the fleet?

'Right. I wasn't—never mind. Fish ain't that expensive here, Princess, especially if you buy in bulk. Wouldn't hurt to ask.'

After lunch, Leia went back to her work followed by Threepio, Chewie to his tinkering (he always found something to "improve" on the Falcon ), and Han decided it was a good time to delete outdated and damaged files in the ship's navicomputer, a task he always thought he should do one day but never really wanted to. An hour later, he was bored out of his mind.

Getting up from his chair, he stretched his arms up with a groan. He took the long way back to the main hold, peeking into the crew quarters as he passed by. No sign of Leia there. She was not working in the communal area, either, but he did find C-3PO uttering suggestions nobody had asked for. That was weird: Leia had brought him along to help her with work and kept the droid with her at all times. Even though Han knew she grew tired of his constant chatter sometimes, she had promised him and Chewbacca that Threepio wouldn't get in their way.

As Han walked in, he caught the droid jumping back as Chewie roared in annoyance from inside a maintenance hatch.

'Oh dear, there is no need to get so worked up, Chewbacca,' Threepio said. 'I was merely saying—'

'Goldenrod,' Han interrupted, 'd'you know where's Leia?'

'Why, yes. The Princess said she was going out to get some fresh air.'

Alarms set off in Han's brain. 'Outside?'

'That is correct. She said not to worry, she would stay quite close to the freighter.'

'Yeah, alright. Better go check on her anyway.' Thinking it would be better for all if he kept his friend from tearing off the droid's arms during this trip, Han said, 'Are you any good with computers, Goldenrod?'

He didn't have to worry: Leia was sitting on the dock just outside the Falcon , the pant legs of her jumpsuit rolled up as she dipped her feet in the water. She was leaning back on her elbows, basking in the sun, and when Han walked closer, he realized she had her eyes shut and a peaceful look on her face. Despite himself, his stomach felt as if he'd skipped a step, and for a moment he just stood there, staring at Leia.

She rarely looked that relaxed and content, seemingly free of worries, of pain. Anyone who walked by could have mistaken her for a regular crew member, catching a bit of sunlight before rocketing back to the stars and to the next port. Not a princess. Not a survivor, an enemy of the Empire, a rebel leader. Just a young woman enjoying the sea.

She deserves this , Han thought, even though he generally didn't think much about who deserved what because he knew the galaxy didn't work that way. What he could do was grant her the solitude she had sought out, though, so he stepped back. He didn't think a single board had creaked under his boots, but it wasn't the first time Leia's hearing appeared to be better than most humans. She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him.

'Is everything okay?' she asked, sitting up straight. Han knew what she was hoping to hear.

'Yeah. Sorry, didn't mean to get in your way.'

'You're not,' Leia told him. Her shoulders sagged a little before she leaned back and closed her eyes again. 'Come here and take your boots off, the water is so lovely.'

'Uh, if you're sure.'

Boots and socks were ditched, and Han joined Leia on the dock, pulling up his trousers. The coolness of the water felt wonderful on his bare feet; it was no wonder it had been enough to make Leia at ease.

'Oh hey, Chewie got us these,' he said, suddenly remembering. From one of his vest pockets, he took out two crisp-looking cookies and handed one to Leia. She gave the treat a small, delighted smile.

'Fortune cookies. I haven't had one of these in years.' She took the wrapper off the folded wafer and tucked it in her pocket, then looked expectantly at Han. 'Go on, let's crack it together.'

Han held the cookie between his thumb and index fingers and broke it, catching the crumbs in his other hand. He pulled out a thin strip of flimsi from the wreckage. As he cleared his throat, Leia cried, 'Wait, wait!' and covered his fortune with her hand.

'I'll read yours and you read mine,' she said at his confused look. Han had never heard of people doing it that way, but he swapped with her. Leia nodded for him to go on.

'"You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away",' Han read. He looked at the view around them, then raised his eyebrows at Leia. 'I think this prediction came a little late.'

'Maybe it's talking about my upcoming expedition to Hoth.'

'Oh no. Please tell me you're jokin', Princess,' Han begged.

'Better start airing those warm layers, flyboy. Okay, now yours.' Leia cleared her throat and squared her shoulders, looking at him for a few seconds with a pretend air of wisdom. '"You may want to run, but you should stay and fight."'

There was a pause.

'What?' Han watched her face, and caught her tell: a subtle flaring of her nostrils that meant she was bluffing. He narrowed his eyes at her. 'That what it says, huh?'

He dove to wrest the strip of flimsi out of Leia's hand; she shrieked and pushed a hand against his chest, and they struggled for several seconds until Leia gave it up. She laughed, her cheeks red from the effort. The last time she had blushed that badly, they had been crammed in the Aegis ' refresher, the only place that had been private enough for them to discuss sensitive information. He hadn't been very relaxed, either, as the warmth of their bodies had made the tiny hiding place suffocating. In spite of the uncertainty and danger of their situation, it had been near impossible not to follow the trail of a drop of perspiration down her collar, the movement of her lips as she talked, the curve of her falling braid as it fell on her shoulder. He had been nearly jumping out of his skin with the increasing need to kiss her, to touch her.

Realizing he had been staring at her for too long, he looked away as Leia brushed some wisps of hair behind her ear, and read his fortune aloud.

'"Enjoy yourself while you can".' Han frowned and looked at Leia again. 'That sounds like a threat.'

She shrugged, popping a piece of cookie into her mouth.

'Should have stuck with mine.'

'Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't ya?' Han muttered. He picked apart his wafer, the tiny printed messages still clutched in one hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Leia finished the rest of hers, swinging her feet in the clear water.

It had been three years since a farmboy and an old wizard had hired him for discrete passage to Alderaan. Where would he be now if he hadn't taken that gig? Dead, if he hadn't managed to get anything else to pay off his debt. Even if he had, Jabba would have dropped him anyway, as he was not in the way of giving second chances. Then he would have looked for jobs somewhere else, gone back to his old haunts. Made new friends that he wouldn't trust as far as he could throw them. Found someone to warm his bed at night, someone who wouldn't care that he didn't care one way or another to overthrow the Empire. He could have kept doing what he had been doing for the rest of his life.

But he had met Luke, and he had met Leia, and no matter how hard he'd tried—although, if he was honest with himself, which he wasn't, he had not even tried that hard to forget about them and leave them behind. And he didn't exactly hate the Rebellion—the pay was basically nothing, there were people who didn't like him much, and as the latest mission had proved, it wasn't free of backstabbers—but he had to admit it felt good to stick it to the Empire. It gave him a purpose like he hadn't had in a long time.

Mothma had offered him a colonelship some time ago. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to quit the games and take it. He'd have to ask Chewie before he made any decisions, but he knew how that conversation would go.

It would be one hell of a peace treaty, for him and Leia. It would be one more gamble.

For now, Han lay back on the dock and closed his eyes, soaking in the sun's warmth. He would enjoy himself, while he could.

#han x leia #hanleia #hanleiachallenge #han solo #leia organa #han and leia #star wars fanfiction #verse: hungry hearts #2020 #period: pre esb #rated T #series #one-shot

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mizutina · 4 years

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As someone who has been collecting manga since their early teens, many discussions never really reached my ears until I joined the community itself in the last few years. By many years, I mean late 2003/early 2004, I may have had a few times where I've stopped due to severe depressive episodes and financial strife due to being a young teen with no funds. So I know what it is like to long for manga but not being able to afford it brand new and having to stoop to scans and secondhands or borrowing off friends who can afford just a bit more.

Through the years, I accepted what the companies gave but after a while, you know what you want from what you buy, so I stopped being silent. What came from it, was something one could align with the sense of regret. A few years back I've even stopped reading scans unless it's to see if it's a series I really want and read no further than 3 chapters to decide. Any that I do want either goes on a list or enter the cart until payday. Sometimes, some even get bought in a heartbeat but again, it took me years to get to this stage where I can do that, have space for my series and even gain the confidence to share what I love but even then, some people don't like that and that's fine, it's their choice.

Don't get me wrong, a side doesn't regret making the amazing friends I now have but it regrets being so involved to the extent that I am classed as a villainess for asking for prints, since it's considered cancelling a company saying that I would rather have a printed copy over bits of data, especially for the insane prices they ask for and the lack of reassurance that it is as eternally as my copies seem to be, since if they take the digital away if the server or company goes bust.

I am the bad one for being apart of a chat group with people who love the things I do and have the hide to comment about things that make us unhappy, especially about companies and their lack of variety, especially for shojo. We also don't favour digital, which is our choice since it's our money we are spending. It is why I now keep comments sweet and simple when "nagging" for titles I'd love to see in print and not shit all over series even if it is pandering to lolicon fans, which is a sin to point out in the animanga community cause "it's a cartoon, it won't hurt anyone" or "age is just a number", which is a very telling sign about what kinds of people they are.

But that's a community, not everyone will get along nor share opinions that is on par to your own. Unless you have this obscene view of yourself being some sort of manga master which allows you to shit on others, insult them and basically shoving their opinion as facts, this is where the first two parts of my title comes in, the final part being the first thing I've talked about heh. Then again, these same people believe they are some sort of knowledge head or insider into these companies when, at best, they are hardcore fans that believe anything someone actually in the company says, even if the figures are cherry picked to all hell. I mean, come on guys, just cause you are given free copies doesn't make you any more special. You just supporting the company a bit less in order to promote in hopes that enough people buy to cover the fact the company sent out possibly 20 copies to other people like you and chip in for you getting one free instead of doing the right thing by BUYING THEIR OWN COPY TO SUPPORT THE INDUSTRY THEY ARE SO IN LOVE WITH, but oh well, they are above that apparently, they can do and say as they wish.

Like one says, do as I say not as I do.

So a few weeks ago, some dumbarses believe that secondhand buying and selling of a legally bought product is piracy. Anyone with half a brain and a search engine can prove otherwise. The other reason they claim is that it doesn't give back to the creators and company. Yes, that is correct but not everyone can buy new, not everyone has access to new series or even stores that stock series. Also, some companies have deemed some series either out of print (OOP) or the company is now defunct.

In that case, secondhand is the only option. Unlike some people, I'll admit to buying secondhand, my reasoning's are simple. I can't get some series due to OOP, cheaper as a bundle and, most importantly to me anyway, I rather they sell it to me than throw it away, it's better for the environment that way.

Sure, who knows what they will do with my cash but that's not my problem. I bought a manga from them that they legally bought. Just like when someone borrows from the library, they bought it and lend it to people, in some cases, depends on how many people borrow it, they give funds towards procuring more manga, which means the industry is still supported.

When some people start buying mangas, they usually start secondhand, find the series for them and then usually buy new ones, so in the end, they end up becoming a new consumer for the industry. For example, when I sell some mangas, I end up buying new ones cause I like to keep up with my pre-orders, I like being up to date and I love buying new series that fascinate me, I no longer buy for the sake of buying.

Then we have the selling aspect, since buying is piracy, so would selling right? apparently if the dumbarses do it themselves, it's fine, you just happen to be the bad guy buying from them as they possibly spend the buyers money on new mangas while pointing fingers and blaming others for the "piracy" that they basically contributed in.

Fun fact: don't go spouting off about buying new manga and saying buying second-hand is piracy when you both buy and sell mangas secondhand, you look foolish and defeats the purpose of the whole argument. Also, buy manga secondhand if the creator did a crime is okay but when you ask how bad the crime must be in order for it to be allowed, reflect by being a douche, totally helps the argument by reminding people how incredibly stupid your opinion really is.

My opinion? if you don't like what the creator did and don't want to support them, buy secondhand or don't bother with the series. Maybe buy the series, who knows, it's up to you. I'd support purely on the fact that other people put in their time and hard work into it and they deserve to have that acknowledgment, the scummy person can go eat a cold one for all I care, I don't think others should suffer for one criminal. Also, if they did pay for the crime, then power to them, as long as they learned from it, that deserves some respect.

Moral of the story; Secondhand is a very grey area, many start there and you should be praising them for buying legal copies, it will help them feel accepted and eventually buy more from their local stores and online. Bullying them for buying secondhand only makes them leave and not support the industry. Also, just don't be a gate-keeping dick. Manga is meant to be fun, being in a community is meant to be fun. Be fun with new collectors, help raise them up.

Now, recently, I saw another dumbarse mention Manga Hoarding or Manga Collecting cause apparently making videos showing hauls may be toxic and a form of hoarding.

Fun fact: hoarding and collecting are the two sides of the same coin. It's all about perspective.

One could say my large collection is hoarding. I would say I'm a collector and I love showing, sharing my collection with people in hopes that they may one day buy the series that I mention and love them as much as I do.

Also, this is also a money issue for some people, having a lot means having a lot of money. 1. Who cares about that, it's not your money they are spending. It's theirs. 2. If we use my hauls as an example, mine are large due to two reasons: I pre-order new series and bundle buy older series secondhand at a bargain price. It's a way to both show interest to companies when pre-ordering and it helps someone get rid of something you want, also to explore things you probably wouldn't think of buying. 3. What's it to anyone when it comes to how much someone has? It's got nothing, unless they are putting their own cash into that person, otherwise sit down and shut the hell up.

IMO, manga hauls are as toxic as someone perceives it to be. Me, like many others, enjoy seeing what others have and makes you think about what they have that you may end up wanting. This is where you ask the person about the series and, tied with piracy topic, you may end up buying the series which helps support the industry. Also, some people collect vast amount of mangas cause they love it, it helps them and should not be shamed for what they love. If you shame others, then you're a dick.

Which, like I said earlier or if I didn't say it clearly, these dumbarses who believe they are elitist, wants people to support the industry that they love so much but sometimes refuse to do themselves. Like mate, you say one thing but shit on people doing their best to support the industry their own way. You can't have the cake and eat it too, stop doing shit like this, keep a solid opinion and don't do shit that points out what a giant hypocrite you are.

But why use logic, that be too hard, right? Well, to me, it seems like people want drama, a reason to ostracise people from their Utopian community. It's quite unfair on people, telling them how to be a collector when it just feels like foolish projections.

Sure, I'm projecting a bit here, feeling their opinions of stupid people when I feel like it's more about how foolish and childish it all seems, how it feels like they just don't think further than "people should be like me and if they ain't, they are the toxic part of the community" which is not a healthy view to have.

Wooow, indeed I have written quite a bit about these topics which are so dear to me, especially as someone who has been supporting silently for years until recently. All the topics I have spoken about is basically something that can't be seen as black or white like the elitist pushes so hard since it's all grey area and to do with perspective.

I shall give it a rest now and read some manga, since that's what someone with a healthy habit does when they are taking a break. Heh.

#ramble #opinion #manga #piracy #secondhand #manga community #rant #just saying it

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latter-day-saint-nick · 4 years

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Here‘s a list of all the books with queer protagonists I’ve read this year. While I do actively seek those out, there are several books on here that I didn’t know had queer themes when I picked them up from the library and then I was pleasantly surprised by lesbians. I‘ll avoid spoilers except when discussing trigger warnings.

Kaleidoscope Song by Fox Benwell

Neo, a South African teenager, is obsessed with music of any kind. Her love of music brings her together with the singer of a local band and they have a passionate relationship that they must keep secret. The descriptions of Neo‘s life and her tendency to hear music in everything are beautiful and dynamic. The author included a list of the songs Neo is listening to throughout the book, so I was introduced to a lot of cool music from South Africa and other places. TW: Corrective rape and Bury Your Gays. This is a book by a queer (albeit white British, rather than black South African) author writing about a very real problem that exists within our communities, so it feels different to when a cishet author kills off a queer character just for shock value. I still can‘t help feeling that he could have made the same point without having the character die – just have her be injured. Still, I loved pretty much everything else about the book, so it gets a tentative recommendation from me.

The Mermaid’s Daughter by Ann Claycomb

25-year-old opera student Kathleen tries to cope with the constant pain in her feet, nightmares about having her tongue cut out, and desperate yearning for the sea. With the help of her girlfriend Harry she delves into her family history to uncover the secret of a curse spanning generations of women. What’s nice about this book is that Kathleen and Harry’s relationship is accepted by all their family and friends without question, so if you want to read a nice wlw fantasy story with no homophobia, this one’s for you. TW: Some discussion of suicide, but nothing too graphic.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

A teenage lesbian is sent to conversion therapy by her religious aunt. This is basically a coming-of-age story as the title character comes to terms with her identity and the death of her parents. It’s considered an important work of LGBT YA literature, so I really wanted to like it more than I did. Most of the first half of the novel deals with Cameron’s everyday life in her small town in Montana, which was, to be honest, rather boring to me. The pace of the story picks up a bit once she gets sent to conversion therapy, but even then it’s slower and less eventful than I would have liked. But since it is a popular book, that’s probably just me. I did like that the two best friends she makes at the therapy camp are a disabled girl and an indigenous boy, two types of people that are not often represented in queer fiction, so that’s something. TW: Conversion therapy and self-harm.

Proud by Juno Dawson

This is a collection of poems and stories about queerness aimed at a YA audience, and each one is a pure delight! These stories detail moments of joy and pride that make you feel happy and hopeful about being queer. They include a high school retelling of Pride and Prejudice with lesbians, a nonbinary kid and his D&D group on a quest to disrupt the gender binary at their school, a magical phoenix leading a Chinese girl to find love, and gay penguins. All stories, poems and illustrations are by queer writers and artists. Seriously, I cannot recommend this collection enough!

Spellbook of the Lost and Found by Moïra Fowley-Doyle

An Irish magical realist story about three girls who perform a spell to find things that they have lost. The spell appears to have wider consequences than they expected, bringing to light things that should have stayed lost. This book has three narrators, two of whom are wlw. It treads a nice line between fantasy and reality, and has some pretty good plot twists. Also, there’s a crossword at the end, which is awesome. More books should come with crosswords.

Ancillary Justice, Ancillary Sword and Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie

A space opera trilogy set in the distant future about the embodiment of a ship’s AI who seeks revenge against the ruler of a colonialist empire who destroyed her ship and killed her beloved captain. This is not beginner’s sci-fi, as it is very complex and intricate, but if you’re fine with a bit of a heavier read, you’ll be rewarded with some very interesting concepts. What makes this series queer is that the Raadch empire has no concept of gender and uses female pronouns for everyone. This makes every romantic relationship queer by default, whether we are aware of the characters’ sexes or not. I found it particularly enjoyable when Breq, the protagonist, tried to communicate in different languages that have gendered pronouns, which she had to navigate carefully in order not to offend people. She tries to look for outward clues of gender, such as hairstyles, chest size, facial hair or Adam’s apples, but even then often gets it wrong, because these things are not always consistent. That is just a great depiction of how arbitrary ideas of binary sexual characteristics tend to be. Also, I guess technically Breq is aroace, but since she’s not human, I’m not sure if she can be considered the best representation, though she is a very likeable character that I enjoyed following.

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

These books are a lot of fun! They’re historical adventure stories with a bit of fantasy thrown in, featuring disaster bisexual Henry Montague, his snarky aroace sister Felicity and his best friend Percy whom he is secretly in love with. In the first book, the three teenagers are sent on a tour of Europe for various reasons, but they quickly abandon the planned route when they get embroiled in a plot involving theft and alchemy. The second book details Felicity’s further attempts to become a doctor, which leads her to reunite with an old friend and chase a tale of fantastical creatures.

The Spy with the Red Balloon by Katherine Locke

Technically I read this one late last year, but whatever. I just wanted to put it on the list to have an excuse to talk about it. It’s about two Jewish siblings with magic powers who are recruited during World War II to take part in a secret project to fight the Nazis. Both siblings turn out to be queer: the brother is gay and demisexual, while the sister is bisexual, and they each have a love interest. This book is an independent prequel to The Girl with the Red Balloon, which takes place in East Berlin during the time of the Wall, and is just as good, albeit not as gay.

We Set the Dark on Fire by Tehlor Kay Mejia

This book tends to be classified as fantasy, because it takes place in an alternate, Latin-American-inspired world, with a distinct history, culture and religion, but there’s no magic at all, so I’m not sure it counts. But I digress. The country of Medio is built on classism and acute xenophobia. But by hiding her status as an illegal immigrant, Daniela, a girl from a poor background, manages to rise to the top of her class at her elite finishing school and become the first wife of one of the most powerful young men in the country. But her new comfortable status is threatened when she is pressured to join a group of rebels who fight for equality. At the same time, she also finds herself falling for her husband’s second wife. Obviously, this book’s political message is very topical, but beyond that, it’s just a very good story, with a well fleshed-out fictional world and great characters. This is the first in a series, with the sequel, We Unleash the Merciless Storm, coming out in February.

All Out: The No Longer Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages by Saundra Mitchell

A very nice collection of short stories about various queer teenagers in different historical settings, from a medieval monastery to an American suburb on New Year’s Eve in 1999. Most of the stories are realist, but there are a few ghosts and witches to be found in-between. What I found particularly notable about this book is that it featured several asexual characters, which you don’t often see in collections like this. I definitely recommend it.

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

This is a thoughtful, heart-warming life story about a woman growing up during the civil war in Nigeria. After Ijeoma, a Christian Igbo girl, is sent away from home, she finds her first love in Amina, a Muslim Hausa. Even after they are found out and separated, Ijeoma doesn’t quite understand what’s so shameful about their love. Still, as she grows older, she attempts to fit into a heteronormative society while also connecting with the things and people that make her happy. TW: Homophobic violence, including an attack on a gay nightclub. The novel makes up for this by having a remarkably happy ending.

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley

A young man in Victorian London finds a mysterious watch on his pillow, with no idea how it got there. This sets into motion a strange series of events, which leads him to a lonely Japanese watchmaker, to whom he finds himself increasingly drawn. This is an unusual novel that treads the line between historical fiction, fantasy and sci-fi. Most of the characters are morally grey and have complex motivations, but are still likable. I just really enjoy stories that take place in this time period, particularly when they are this thoughtfully written and don’t just take the prejudices of the past for granted.

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

A YA book about a transgender teenager, written by a transgender author. After her mother decides that she is not safe in her hometown anymore, high school senior Amanda moves in with her dad in a town where nobody knows her and she can try to go stealth. But even as she is making friends and experiencing romance for the first time, she constantly worries about what will happen if her secret comes out. It’s a fairly standard story about being transgender, really, but as it comes from a trans author, it feels a lot more personal and less voyeuristic than these stories tend to be when coming from a cisgender perspective. Amanda is a sympathetic and compelling character. TW: This book deals with a number of upsetting themes, including transphobic violence, being forcibly outed and suicide. There is a flashback to Amanda’s pre-transition suicide attempt, which I found particularly triggering. I also wish she could have come out on her own terms, instead of being outed in front of the whole school by someone she thought she could trust. It is still a pretty good book, but it can be very upsetting at times.

As I Descended by Robin Talley

A loose retelling of Macbeth that takes place in a boarding school in Virginia and involves two queer couples. The supernatural elements of the play are amplified in a wonderfully creepy way, and the characters are complex and realistic, so you understand their motivations, even when they do bad things. TW: Out of the five queer characters in the novel, three die, two of them by suicide.

A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo by Jill Twiss and EG Keller

A charming picture book about the Vice President’s pet bunny who falls in love with another boy bunny and wants to hop around at his side for the rest of his life. This book was written as a screw you to Mike Pence, but even so it is a genuinely nice kid’s book that deals with homosexuality and marriage equality in a way that is appropriate for young children. The illustrations are incredibly cute as well.

Palimpsest by Catherynne M. Valente

A very strange, surreal tale about four people (most of whom are queer in some way) exploring a magical city that you can enter in your dreams by sleeping with someone who has been there before. I wanted to like this one more than I did, because I really love Catherynne Valente’s Fairyland books for children. But while some of the dreamlike imagery is cool and pretty, I found a lot of it weirdly uncomfortable, along with the frequent sex scenes.

The Pearl Thief by Elizabeth Wein

15-year-old Julia is home for the summer at her parents’ ancestral mansion in Scotland and gets involved with a plot about theft, disappearance and possibly murder. She also has her first crushes – on a man working at her parents’ estate and a young Traveller girl, respectively. This is a prequel to Code Name Verity, which has the same protagonist, though her bisexuality isn’t really alluded to in that, which is why I’ve kept it off the list, even though it is an excellent book. The Pearl Thief is pretty good as well, though it is a bit strange to read after you’ve already read Verity and know that this carefree teenage character is going to grow up to be a spy in World War II and be tortured in a Nazi prison. Do read both books, though. They are great.

Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson

A young scientist falls in love with the wife of the man she’s having an affair with. There’s speculation about quantum mechanics and interconnectedness, all wrapped in very poetic language. To be perfectly honest, I really didn’t get it, so I have no idea what any of it means. But at least the main character is bisexual and polyamorous (and possibly genderfluid – I’m not sure).

Queer Africa by Makhosazana Xaba and Karen Martin

A collection of short stories by queer African writers, discussing themes like love, sex, marriage, family and homophobia. The attitudes towards queerness in these different countries varies. In many of them, homosexuality is illegal, even though same-sex relationships used to be respected before the interference of Western colonialism. In any case, these stories are an interesting and oftentimes beautiful examination of queerness from a non-Western point of view, some joyous and some tragic. TW: The second to last story is about incest.

#books #LGBTQIA

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justalittlelitnerd · 5 years

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The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

You deserve to be here. You deserve to exist. You deserve to take up space in this world of men

Also: Felicity Montague, you are a cactus.

This book is the feminist anthem you didn’t know you needed. Actually, no, scratch that it’s the human rights (and sometime even animal rights) anthem you didn’t know you needed. It tackles race, religion, sexuality, gender, and probably any other slightly controversial topic under the sun.

It is unabashed and recognizes flaws within arguments and defenses and it doesn’t try to say one way of life or being is better than another but they all simply deserve to exist.

If that isn’t enough to compel you maybe the fact that it is set in England (actually all over Europe really) back in the olden days (honest to God can’t remember what time period but the aforementioned petticoats probably gives you a clue) with pirates and sea dragons (it’s not as mystical as it sounds but still slightly magical) will be enough to compel you to pick up this book. Because you should. Like right now.

It’s hard to be raised in a world where you’re taught to always believe what men say without doubting yourself at every step.

So I loved the first book in this series (The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue) and was super excited when I heard there would be one focusing on Felicity because I wanted more from her character. However, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t apprehensive because all too often the sequel is not as good as the original.

I’m pleased to report that, in my opinion, is not the case here. The Lady’s Guide is every bit as funny and poignant and socially relevant as The Gentleman’s Guide, in fact, it felt even more relevant to me as a woman who could identify strongly with Felicity’s character. But don’t worry there’s still plenty of Monty and Percy present in the story.

I have learned that men respond best to nonthreatening women whose presence and space in the world does not somehow imperil their manhood, and so, as much as it pains me, I put on a smile so big it hurts my face and try to think like Monty, which is infuriating.

My favorite part of this novel is that Lee resists the urge to submit Felicity to the standard YA Romance storyline. That may have been what gave me the most apprehensive since the first novel implied that she was asexual, or at the very least more interested in her career than a marriage, and I was worried that having a story strictly about her would make Lee feel pressured to give her a romance. I will admit at times it felt like it was going to fall into that trap, but then it would turn around to show how it was just Felicity feeling the pressures of society.

When stripped of the illegalities and the Biblical condemnation, their [Monty and Percy’s] attraction is no stranger to me than anyone’s attraction to anyone.

The Lady’s Guide picks up about a year after the end of The Gentleman’s Guide with Felicity in Edinburgh working at a bakery trying to appeal to various hospitals and school to allow her entrance to no avail.

A year of men telling me I am incapable of this work only gives my pride a more savage edge, and I feel, for the first time in so many long, cold, discouraging months, that I am as clever and capable and fit for the medical profession as any of the men who have denied me a place in it.

The tipping point is when the man at the bakery who has helped her for the last year decides it is time to propose. This sends Felicity into a sort of tailspin because she’s not willing to give up on her dream yet but everyone around her is telling her she should settle down and be married and she’s starting to wonder if they are right.

Which gave him the idea that men often get in their heads when a woman pays some kind of attention to them: that it was a sign I want him to smash his mouth -- and possibly other body parts -- against mine. Which I do not.

She makes the impulsive decision to travel to London to see Monty and Percy and appeal to medical boards there to grant her admission. However, once again she is denied and practically laughed out of the room for her ideas of becoming a doctor.

“You’re so determined to become a lady doctor then,” he says. “No, sir,” I reply, “I’m determined to become a doctor. The matter of my sex I would prefer to be incidental rather than an amendment.”

Their exclusionary policies rest entirely on the fragility of their own masculinity, but it doesn’t matter because they’re men and I’m a woman so it’s not even going to be a fight and it was never going to be a fight.

But this time one of the doctors recommends she reach out to Doctor Alexander Platt for mentorship which through a series of events leads her to befriending a Black Muslim Hijabi pirate named Sim and going off on a new adventure. Along the way, she encounters an old friend which brings to the forefront the intricacies of feminism. Because really that is what this book is all about in the end. Three women all fighting for their place in this world of men who try to tell them their only place is in the household.

He has me apologizing for asking for the minimum that is granted to most men.

It turns out that Platt is set to wed Felicity’s childhood friend, Johanna, which she decides to use to get a meeting with him. However, it’s revealed that Felicity and Johanna had a falling out over their differing views on femininity and what it means to be a strong woman.

You stopped taking me seriously when I stopped being the kind of woman you thought I had to be to be considered intelligent and strong. All those things you say make men take women less seriously -- I don’t think it’s men; it’s you. You’re not better than any other woman because you like philosophy better than parties and don’t give a fig about the company of gentlemen, or because you wear boots instead of heels and don’t set your hair in curls.

Johanna is still strong and intelligent and independent and she likes wearing dresses and makeup and heels and flirting with boys and those things are not incompatible, but a lot of times it’s a sticking point in feminism. Somewhere along the way there became this belief (which Felicity believes) that to be a feminist, to be strong woman standing up to men, you couldn’t also be traditionally feminine. It takes almost the whole novel for Felicity to realize that Johanna is not any less strong and intelligent because she subscribes to traditional gender roles/beauty standards and it takes her even longer to be willing to admit she is wrong.

I have spent so long building up my fortress and learning to tend it alone, because if I didn’t feel I needed anyone, then I wouldn’t miss them if they weren’t there. I couldn’t be neglected if I was everything to myself. But now, those fortifications suddenly feel like prison walls, high and barbed and impossible to cross.

To be honest the relationships formed between and the battles waged by Sim, Felicity, and Johanna are more than enough reason to read this novel. But Lee decides to make it even better by throwing in scientific discoveries, men stealing women’s credit, danger, and a fight on the open seas reminiscent of any pirate movie.

It’s not hopelessness, it’s just pure stubbornness. Not even so much a will to live as a refusal to die. Not yet, not now, not here, not when we have so much left to do. There isn’t a goddamned chance I’m dying on this rig.

It turns out that before she died, Johanna’s mom discovered a new species with Platt that honestly sound like sea monsters, something half dragon half snake like? And that the scales of these sea dragons can be used as drugs (both medicinally and recreationally). Platt wants to exploit the dragons while Sim’s family has sworn to protect them at all costs. The women band together to plot against both Platt’s exploitations and Sim’s father’s stubbornness against progression.

Everyone has heard stories of women like us -- cautionary tales, morality plays, warnings of what will befall you if you are a girl too wild for the world, a girl who asks too many questions or wants too much. If you set off into the world alone. Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.

Of course, they succeed in both tasks and along the way decide maybe they should get their own ship and go on their own research voyages including exploring more about the sea dragons.

I am filled suddenly by that wanting, to know things, to understand the world, to feel myself in it.

In the company of women like this -- sharp-edged as raw diamonds but with soft hands and hearts, not strong in spite of anything but powerful because of everything -- I feel invincible. Every chink and rut and battering wind has made us tough and brave and impossible to strike down. We are mountains -- or perhaps temples, with foundations that could outlast time itself.

I know this was a long review filled with an overabundance of quotes, but I hope that just shows how good this book is. I read it a month ago and am just now writing this and still find myself remembering it vividly despite the fact that I’ve read maybe 5 books since then. So do me, and yourself, a favor and go out to read this book (I’m even okay if you skip the first one though I promise you’ll regret it if you do).

You are Felicity Montague, I tell myself, and the darkness, and my heartbeat, in an attempt to rein it in. You have climbed through catacombs darker than this, you escaped from a second-story window with only your bedsheets, and you should not be frightened of the darkness, but instead be sure that the most frightening thing in it is you.

Bonus:

- The chairman tosses his cloak over his shoulders and gives me a smile that he likely thinks is kind, but is, in fact the smirk of a man about to explain something to a woman that she already knows.

- Humans have instincts specifically for situations like this. Everything in me is saying there is danger lurking in this forest, eyes bright and hungry through the dark.

- Below is an unhelpful drop to the street -- no footholds, ledges, or loose bricks promised by every fiction book I have ever read. Not even a convenient hedge to drop into.

- Charming is not a word I’d use -- or ever want used -- to describe me, but the way she says it prickles me. It’s the sort of thing I feel entitled to say disparagingly about myself, but from someone else, it feels blunt and unkind.

- Zounds, does this fool actually think he’s saving me? Another storybook hero to swoop in and rescue a girl from a dragon or a monster or herself -- they’re all the same. A woman must be protected, must be sheltered, must be kept from the winds that would batter her into the earth.

- I can do more than memorize maps of vessels and arteries and bones; I can solve the puzzle of what to do when those pieces come apart. I can write my own treaties. I am a girl of steady hands, stout heart, and every book I have ever read.

#read Jan 24 2019 #the lady's guide to petticoats and piracy #mackenzi lee #the gentleman's guide to vice and virtue #books #booklr #book blog #book quotes #monty and percy #felicity montague #feminism #strong female leads #strong female characters #fight against the patriarchy #then and now #felicity montague you are a cactus

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