artfight swag

hi ive finally started doing af for reallll have sum of my favourite new attacks ive done! ocs (in order) belong to itsyot and yooptheyot!

my artfight xo

Zevistair and Alistair/Anora for the ship bingo! (Also hi!!!!)

OOOOH VERY INTERESTING ONES

zevistair:

this one is a Very Recent consideration/revelation for me and honestly. kinda obsessed and i wish i had been into it when i was first playing origins a couple years ago/makes me want to start a new file to Observe them more

bulleted thoughts:

i love the idea that their character arcs are sort of going in...opposite directions? if that makes sense? like despite the fact they have similar brands of tragic backstory, the actual circumstances of the tragic backstory diverge such that zev is recruited into an order that makes him distrust people and alistair is recruited into an order that, in his mind, is the only people he CAN trust, but in the game itself zev is "softening"/opening up and alistair (in more interesting characterization directions lol) is hardening/losing his naivete its So Cool

attempted murder is ? because that's more the warden than alistair but it's close enough that i think it'd be a bit for them LMAO

the specific combo of zev being super forward sexually/a bit harder to reach romantically (iirc i need to replay origins Stat) and alistair being very forward romantically but inexperienced sexually is...Very Good for ship dynamic/conflict purposes...

besides that tho they're just silly. like they both make jokes and do the hahas. what more could you want

alistair/anora:

so full disclosure i've never done a playthrough of origins (or at least not gotten to the landsmeet with a warden that had this as the plan of action) with alistair and anora co-ruling which may be coloring my opinions A Lot but i'm glad you asked about it because i've been meaning to think up a scenario that i'd want to use it for (ive kept alistair as a warden, married him myself, and had him rule alone hardened fwiw)

my ideal scenario/conception of this is absolutely a like. starts literally Zero romantic interest. probably some degree of contempt, even. but through a comical series of events they end up doing pretty much everything couples do besides really "having feelings" in such a way that they're like. ticking off boxes on the Businesslike Relationship List and Getting a Good Grade in Marriage. like ok honey great work out there today. we had a functional discussion about what dishware we want to purchase, planned our next ten years of children, and practiced a polite amount of public affection while negotiating with a diplomat. here's what's on the docket for tomorrow. and through that practicality they become fond for each other? sort of? idk i still think lingering contempt is a Hallmark of their vibes and what makes it work for me as a concept

i can...sort of see them developing proper romantic feelings for each other on like Year Fifteen of Marriage maybe but tbh its more a hard-earned-despite-the-circumstances-respect flavor of romance like. you are a Stable Feature in my life. and not so much "storybook" romance which tbh would be really interesting for a character like alistair to have to work through considering How He Is in his warden romance (and iirc you Have to harden him to even do this so itd be...neat to dovetail that with that element of his development specifically re: i have to call up the desire for romance i had before i Lost My Innocence as a mask for the public to idealize re: our marriage/rule and its legitimacy but also i do not believe in it anymore. we love a lil cognitive dissonance)

probably obvious from how i talk about it but tbh not something i "ship" LOL not even in a "they're so toxic it's fun" type of ship way...idk they are a narrative device to me. the most fun they can have is a divorce arc

tysm this was very fun!! i think i'm going to go find the mahariel save file i started a bit ago and hope i remember what i was doing bc that warden would 100% shove alistair and anora together LMFAO

guess who got covid after just 2 weeks of being in school for the first time. wore a mask for all of it minus lunch. love this so much/s I'm so fuckin out of it. anyway because im kinda out of it I was thinking about like. potential future stuff cause I still dont really know and I brought up in passing kinda joking that maybe being a robotic engineer would be fun to my mom but she really latched onto the idea and thinks I'd like it and do well and I agree but it feels so. fake? like I say I was kinda joking because I brought it up in relation to fnaf because she wanted to know if I had plans and yada yada. but thinking about it like. I like putting things together, I like math and science, I like knowing how things work, I like learning about technology, theoretically itd be good, right? but it feels like a superficial passion, one I dont really posses and I'm just faking it because I like a video game series that deals with robots. I know that I'd adore it and really would do well, but then I'm like lmao no you just want to be like the silly little robot inventor on your phone. god fucking damn it. you ever do that? find something youd be interested in and immediately undermine yourself or however you put it? idk. thinking

Another stupid long post about how I don't know my own fucking gender

This is honestly just copied and pasted from a yt comment I made on an older vid and I figured I'd share it here bc tumblr loves this shit I guess lol. God damn I've been questioning my gender for so long and ik rn im prob not still in the best position to be thinking about deep life shit like where I am mentally and im dealing with a lot in my life and also very insecure about potentially being trans bc a lot of my friends don't seem like they would be very accepting and my bf is only really into girls. I asked him how he would feel if I was nonbinary or looked like a boy and he just said he wasn't totally sure but he's only attracted to girls :c he's the sweetest bf in existence and im honestly so afraid of losing him, so aside from obviously not wanting to deal with all the other trans shit, I definitely hope im not trans bc I don't wanna lose him. Anyways, ill start with my childhood I guess. I was always super tomboyish. My older sisters (im the youngest sibling btw) were always p tomboyish so maybe I kinda got it from them but I kinda felt like I was more tomboyish than them? I felt like I was the most boyish girl I knew, like even meeting other tomboy girls in elementary school I felt like I couldn't really relate to them or like they couldnt relate to me enough idk. I also remember once making up a song about being like so tomboyish that I was basically a boy or something along those lines and sang it to my best friend at the time who I copied like all the fkin time (it honestly wasnt healthy lmao I didn't have good parents, also I think I started making up songs bc she did that and I wanted to like impress her), but she thought it was stupid and weird so I just forgot about it and moved on. I was embarrassed to even enjoy playing with dolls or play dress up games online and was determined to play masculine games like runescape (even tho I ended up doing girly shit in runescape anyways lmao) and considered myself one of the guys. In 5th grade when I started needing to wear a bra I absolutely didn't want to, tho some girls in my class thought it was weird I didn't wear a bra when they found out and that made me more insecure about it, but since then I've p much only worn sports bras. I have bought some more normal bras bc I wanted to look attractive in them for my SO or whatever but I still highly prefer my sports bras and can't stand wearing the other ones unless I have to bc my sports bras aren't clean lmfao. I always hated talking about genitalia and breasts n shit but that could just be bc of how I was raised and how my family was always so strict and such radical Christians and anything sex related was a sin, idk if its dysphoria or not. I've never rlly liked my chest and hated showing cleavage like so god damn much and still do but maybe that's the same thing or maybe I just want smaller boobs and that's it idk??? Like I'd want to appear to have a completely flat chest at least, idk if I'd want to actually like have a guy chest or not? Also huge issue with ppl seeing me naked or touching my boobs but again idk if that's gender related or just a normal issue I have. Tho I had a friend in high school (a girl, a very weird lewd girl) who would occasionally grope my chest randomly and it wasn't a huge issue but kinda made me uncomfortable and more aware of my chest. I really like when I wear big hoodies or when I lean over so my shirt kinda poofs out and it looks like I have a flat chest underneath. Though im not super uncomfortable with my boobs, like normally ill want nothing to do with them but I don't mind my SO touching them especially if they're really into it. I wouldn't say im rlly dysphoric about between my legs either, like yeah I think its weird and I hate monthlies and stuff but I think that's normal. I think if i woke up one day and had a dick I would be fine with it, I'd prob even enjoy it tbh lmao. I once had a dream that i was, well, a male dog like,,, ya know, with a female dog, and not to sound weird af (hey we were both dogs ok) but I think i kinda enjoyed it? I don't really remember any other dreams where I remember actually having a dick or feeling it but I've had several dreams as a male person, but p much all of them were like, I was seeing through a character's eyes or smth, not really that I was a guy, so idk if that's normal. I have the same dreams about being other girl characters, I'd say its split about 50/50. Because of this game community im in, a lot of ppl assume im a guy, and a lot of people still think im a guy and I haven't really bothered to correct them but idk if I find it more enjoyable bc its funny or if I enjoy not being referred to as female for once. I'll admit I feel most comfortable referred to as they/them, like without a doubt, if I could go by only 1 set of pronouns for the rest of my life it would be they/them. But ik that's not enough to call myself trans. I definitely wouldn't want to be 100% male. Like if I imagine myself as a grown man vs a grown woman id prob choose to be a woman. I don't like my voice but I think that's mostly just bc I sound 10 years younger than I actually am, and wouldn't really want a deep/masculine voice. Like a "tomboy" voice would be fine if that makes sense? I don't want facial hair or want to have a masculine body, I like that I have curves and soft skin and small hands. Personally I like my hair long bc its soft and people love it, but sometimes I kinda wish I had short hair and could pass as a boy. Like I'd wanna be a typical cute kpop boy ngl lmfao. I like the whole cute androgynous/feminine boy look and wish I could pull it off. Tho I also like really girly things sometimes and am okay being seen as a girl, i just want to be cute and attractive. Ik whether im trans or not I like being a mix of feminine and masculine, tho I admit in the past I've been kinda insecure bc I used to be super sure I was nb and thought me liking girly things and wanting to still havd long hair and wear girly clothes made me seem like "not trans enough" or whatever. But i guess here I am questioning myself again anyways. If I am nb, it sucks that ill never really be able to be openly myself and all but I've accepted by now that I kinda have to pick a binary and choose what I want to be seen as for the rest of my life, and im ok with being female. There are some things I dont like about my body whether they're really gender related or not but I can't afford to transition and wouldn't like most of the effects of T and am afraid of surgery and not sure I want top surgery enough to ever get it anyways, but I think if we lived in a perfect world and I could magically change my body at will and I wasnt afraid of judgment or being unattractive or whatever, I'd probably want to look androgynous and itd be cool to be able to change my genitalia at will lmao. If I had to choose 1 genitalia over the over I honestly have no idea what I'd choose but I have no desire to ever get bottom surgery, at the same time tho I honestly wanna someday get surgery or w/e to never be able to get pregnant. I just could not handle pregnancy or giving birth and I don't even like babies and breast feeding sounds awful so if I ever have kids they will be adopted 100% and most likely be older and like not newborn babies lmfao, babies are honestly so weird to me and they stink and cry and they're so fragile and im so afraid of like dropping them when I hold them lmao. But I like my nieces and nephews and I like being the cool aunt (is there a gender neutral version of aunt/uncle?) who lets them use my art supplies and helps them do fun stuff even if I get tired of them sometimes lol. Idk if that's gender related either but yeah I guess. This if kind of a more recent thing but I often say I'd make a great bf kinda as a joke bc of how I am in relationships like being the stereotypical sweet bf type who makes things for their partner a lot and wants to be their knight in shining armor and their protector and all that, but again prob not rlly trans related lmao just thought I'd throw that out there I guess. So when I was 17 was when I really started getting into trans stuff, prior to that I mostly just learned from my parents that trans ppl were "against god" and all that bs, and eventually started realizing lgbt+ isn't as bad as my family said and later realized I was bi. But anyways I met an agender person online when i was 17ish and I'd never heard it before and thought it was really interesting and asked them how you know you're agender bc after hearing their explanation of it i thought it described how I felt, but ofc they weren't transmed and just described it as being like a deep feeling or whatever and since then i started calling myself agender (and switched between a few labels but basically nonbinary) until my transmed friend told me I was ridiculous and that I wasn't trans, and honestly he was a huge dick but im a huge pushover lmao and I thought well he's trans so he must know what he's talking about, and though I felt discouraged about it I stopped calling myself nonbinary. Then I began questioning it again after not too long and basically since then I've been questioning my gender off and on. I'm now 22 and god I fucking hope im cis but also I feel like a part of me doesn't want to be cis if that makes sense?? Idk if that's because I don't like being a girl for some weird deep reason I don't know about despite being pretty sure I've gotten a lot of my feelings and their reasons behind them figured out, or if it's because I am trans and dont want to force myself to pretend im a girl 100% forever. At the very least, whatever the fuck my gender is, I want to continue going by they\them wherever I can and pretending to be a boy to strangers online and I'd love to cosplay male characters and bind and occasionally just dress masculine for the hell of it and probably wear sports bras for the rest of my life. I feel like in a way I cang possibly be trans because I can live with all of those things and be fairly comfortable still being seen as female for the rest of my life. But idk, I have bpd and other mental shit so sometimes im not great with my feelings (tho I do try really hard to identify all of my feelings/emotions and stuff) but at the same time bpd can cause weird identity shit so maybe its just a weird mix of a bunch of crap and im not actually trans but just weird and tomboyish enough to question my gender for 5 years and still be unsure. Also I know a lot of ppl suggest talking to a therapist/psychologist/whatever professional and trust me I would love to but I can't currently and am unsure when ill be able to bc they're expensive and I live in the middle of fucking nowhere so finding a decent therapist around where I live rn is going to be very difficult. Also, I have fucking crippling social anxiety lmao like I'd be so afraid to open up about this stuff even to a professional. So if anyone could suggest anything online that could help that would be amazing

Um for the character ask game mr Cecil Kanagawa perhaps

I AM ALWAYS DOWN TO TALK ABOUT MR CECIL KANAGAWA . ALWAYS . AD NAUSEAM . im gonna explain all the lyrics individually because my interpretation of him is really in depth so it probably wont be SUUUPER self explanatory

"I am not a fool entire No, I know what is coming You'll bury me beneath the trees I climbed When I was a child I know I shouldn't love you Well, I know I shouldn't love you But I do" (bitter water, the oh hellos)

so like right . this song as a whole doesnt fit but this part reminds me of his relationship with min ?? i think if cecil ever realized that min was the person who set cass up to go to jail itd be a really jarring realization that he could have been the disposable twin and he just as easily Can still be the disposable twin . but yk thats his Mom whats he supposed to do ????

"From my heart and from my hand Why don't people understand My intentions? Plastic tubes and pots and pans Bits and pieces and the Magic from the hand We're makin' (Weird science) Things I've never seen before Behind bolted doors Talent and imagination" (weird science, oingo boingo)

he's an evil and fucked up mad scientist with an ego what else can i say . why dont people understand my intentions is also a tongue and cheek thing about how he thinks literal murder is a good thing people enjoy

"And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy They'll think of me kindly When they come for my things

They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room With no thoughts Like a blood-sniffing shark

......

I always wanted to die clean and pretty But I'd be too busy on working days" (last words of a shooting star, mitski)

uhhhhh i think the arm thing being self inflicted is really fucking sad lmao? like he could have died. ive meant to write a fic about it but i too am too busy on working days

It's that the price that you pay For arrogance and a false sense of immunity Is to face the wrath of a dying star (community gardens, the scary jokes)

hehehehe. okay this whole song reminds me of him and mins relationship like generally speaking . but thats a harder thing to turn into like . words . but hes got arrogance and a false sense of immunity !!!!! and he sure as HELL has some dying stars

i have so many songs i associate with him but like ...... these are a few . a few fun ones . also if death by glamour had lyrics itd be here too

NCT 127 reaction to you falling asleep on them

rest of the reactions under the cut - kept as gender neutral as possible

taeil

honestly he’d probably be running his fingers through your hair while you lay down on top of him while watching tv or something

it’d be a while before he even noticed you’re asleep

when he does it’s kind of startling because you’re so quiet?? wow amazing

“wow”

when he realizes he stops combing through your hair because what if it wakes you up or something

but then you stir and move your head a little higher up on his chest and he’s like oh

so he goes back to playing with your hair and braids it and stuff

have fun combing it all out when you wake up lmao

your legs and his are entangled and one of his hands is on your back and the other in your hair or behind his head

you’re basically flat on top of him

he doesn’t want to move too much

taeil is like... crazy afraid of waking you up because you must be s o tired and he doesn’t wanna ruin your much needed sleep

“ah they’re so pretty”

turns off the tv eventually because he’s watching you now and not even paying attention to it

wont make any noise honestly

eventually he’ll probably fall asleep to the sound of your breathing tbh

while you’re listening to the sound of his heartbeat

johnny

johnny, softly, but with feeling: “holy shit”

his frame is like x2 yours lmao he makes for a gr9 bed

also his clothes are always soft and highkey he smells like home so when you guys are just chilling and cuddling in downtime and it’s quiet ofc you’re gonna fall asleep

you’re pretty much halfway on top of him at first, with an arm and a leg thrown around him haphazardly 

he’s worried you’ll slip off when you fall asleep though so he moves you so you’re entirely on top of him

one arm finds its place around his neck and the other hangs off the couch in like...ultimate chillaxing position

johnny’s all about being super relaxed and cool and shit lmao but in his head he’s aaaaaaaaa because you look adorable and also you’re falling again

both of his arms are wrapped around your waist

if you originally are a little lower on him he’ll gently pull you up so your chin is near his collarbones

johnny the type to take approximately 389243 pictures of you sleeping

probably posts a couple to his sc story

“they’re so tired they fell asleep on me”

“i ain’t even mad tho look at how cute they are”

(haechan responds to his story with “they fell asleep because you’re boring as shit”, a fight ensues)

you wake up to find him knocked tf out, possibly snoring

it’s your turn to take pics and post now

(haechan - “he’s so boring he put himself to sleep”)

taeyong

he’d probably be unable to hold in a tiny squeal because “oh my god look at them”

your head is on his chest and one arm and one leg are slung across him

tae’s lowkey touched because you have the whole bed and choose to fall asleep entangled with him and basically on top of him

he’s 100% sure you’re the cutest thing to exist ever

has his hand on your waist and probably rubs little circles into the skin above your hipbone because it’s so s o f t

moves hair out of your face

tucks it behind your ear so he can look at you better

“ah i guess if they’re asleep i should be asleep”

he really wants to kiss you because you just look so adorable and are everything good in the world (you are his world) but he also doesn’t want to wake you up

crisis????

if anyone else walks into the room, like the other members, he makes the “shh” gesture before they can even think abt opening their mouths

when you wake up he moves so he’s over  you

presses like........... a million kisses to your forehead and cheeks and nose and just everywhere on your face before your tired ass pulls him down for a proper kiss

“did you sleep well?”

“yeah, but i like being awake because i can be with you”

“so...you DON’T dream about me”

“yAh”

yuta 

i couldn’t find a nonsexy gif of yuta?? a GOD

he’d lowkey be shook as shit

prob tries to be like.cool about it but internally he’s panicking because this hasn’t ever happened before and he doesn’t really know what exactly to do

pets your hair a little bc??? he just...dk

licks his lips a lot while he’s messing with your hair

stops you from falling off of him and onto the floor a couple of times but a small part of him is tempted to let you fall so you’ll wake up and you guys can hang

eventually he’ll get tired of hoping you’ll wake up

he gives you a long nap tho bc he knows you’re tired and he’s kinda tired too but like

he doesn’t wanna fall asleep bc lowkey he’s a little afraid you’ll fall onto the floor if he isn’t there to stop you

after like...an hour of switching from mild awkwardness to exasperatedness to admiring you silently he gets a little tired of it tho

“wake uppp” 

you yawn really loud and sit up so you’re straddling him, rubbing sleep out of your eyes and he really can’t help himself

he flips you both over on the couch

smiles down at you and then sighs

“good, we can do stuff together now” he smirks and kinda does an eyebrow wiggle and you just laugh and smack him on the chest a lil bit

he laughs too and buries his face into your shoulder, carefully balancing his weight on you

you guys just talk from that position for hours until the other members come back only to see the two of you dead asleep

doyoung

he’d be another to take wayyyy to many pictures of you

he prob wouldn’t post any though they’re just ~for him~ for when they go on tour or have schedules and he misses you

gently turns you guys over so you’re lying under him and one of his arms and one of his legs are carefully put across you

this way if his legs fall asleep he can get up and move them around without really disturbing you

when you’re underneath him he can’t really stop himself from just sitting up for a second and admiring how stressless you seem when asleep

“oh my god... they’re wearing my shirt”

would smile crazy hard his face would probably hurt

struggles to keep a squeal in because he literally can’t believe of everyone ever you chose h i m and now you’re wearing his clothes and sleeping in his bed beside him like

will wonders never cease?

doyoung can’t help himself tbh he presses chaste little kisses to your forehead, the junction of your jaw and neck, where your shoulder and neck meet, just, sweet kisses where he can

you shift a lot in your sleep and it always kinda panics him

you: moves your pinky finger - doyoung: *gaSP*

eventually though he does fall asleep beside you 

only to be woken up by you lightly kissing him

you apologize profusely because you didnt mean to wake him up you just couldnt hel p  yourself

and he just laughs and tackles you to the bed, getting into a tickle war

im screaming itd be s o c u t e

jaehyun

prob just chilling lying on the couch and you’re sitting on top of him, straddling his legs because its comfy

after a while it gets silent and eventually he drifts off, only to wake up like 5 min later

he blinks a couple of times to get the very short  and disorienting nap out of his system only to see you still straddling him but your head leaning against the back of the couch, small and very cute snores leaving your half open mouth

he takes a pic for the Y/N MEMES album he has on his phone

it’s his most treasured possession - shitt y meme pics of you

“one day our kids will cherish these images too”

he half sits up, raising himself up on his elbow on one arm so he can use the other to gently lift your head

places you head on his chest and lies back down reallyyyyy slowly so you don’t wake up

he’s tired and you’re tired

for a little while though he just stares at you because goddamn you’re real and you’re with him

jaehyun’s getting existential up in this bitch

you’re still snoring so he shifts a little and you quit it and he can’t help but chuckle to himself 

he starts yawning 

before he knows it he’s half singing songs to try to stay awake so he can see your face when you wake up super groggy 

he can’t do it though

when you wake up your boyfriend is knocked tf out and you’re lying on his chest

you just go back to sleep because you’re 1) tired and 2) in love with the idea of just napping with jaehyun nice

winwin

like yuta he kinda wants to wake you up the second he sees you asleep

however he’s really just... amazed by how you just basically melted into his arms while laying against him in bed

you basically dozed off midsentence like you were talking and your words faded until you just exhaled little sighs

and with that sicheng knew you were super asleep

you have a death grip tbh so he can’t really get up but he soon realizes that he honestly doesn’t want to because it’s pretty rare that he just sits and chills or hangs out with you

and even if you’re asleep he’s still with you and honestly?

that’s all that matters

your lips are against where his neck and shoulders meet and both of your arms are around his neck 

it’s kinda uncomfortable for him at first but after some tentative shifting he finds a good position for himself

one arm behind his own head, propping himself up against the pillow a little bit so he can see you, the other lightly resting on your head

the rise and fall of your chest is slower than his since you’re sleeping, he can’t help but compare your heartbeats

it’s like poetry in motion for him

he says dumb shit to you while you’re sleeping like “ah you drool when you sleep, what a s l o b” that’s obv a joke

reaches for his phone and texts all the members to stfu and not interrupt them bc you’re sleeping and you deserve the rest

even tho he originally wanted to wake you up so you guys could talk

just really loves you and wants you to be happy im s o f t

mark

after a video game session you guys hang out on the couch together to just talk and catch up before his members get back fro being outside

mark sits up, leaning a little against the couch’s arm and you lie with your head in his lap 

he really likes twisting strands of your hair around his fingers while you talk its like...his Thing

but yeah it gets late and after a while it gets quiet and you just fall asleep

mark cant help but laugh because honestly??? it was so sudden but wow

he moves your head so he can get up off the couch, makes sure the door to his dorm room is open, and picks you up 

hes lucky you dont wake up while hes carrying you to his bed 

when he puts you down he makes to leave and pick up the games and snacks yall left out but your sleeping self makes grabby hands

he c a n t resist and he just giggles a little bit but slides in next to you

marks p surprised when you move to hug him in your sleep 

then he remembers how you cant sleep without holding something, just like taeyong

or someone, apparently

eventually falls asleep

both of you wake up to taeyong acting shook af that yall were cuddling in your sleep

haechan takes plenty of pics b4 that tho as b l a c k m a i l

all in all a successful stay-at-home date

haechan

he’s lying down and reading on the couch when you get to their dorm

one hand behind his head propping it up and the other holding the book 

when you get there he puts it down and opens his arms wide

you laugh and lean down to hug him only to get d r a g g e d down

“doNGHYUCK”

“just lie down on me i’m a good pillow”

he’s so exasperating honestly but you love him and he loves you so it’s all good?? you make him sit up tho and you snuggle into his side after he puts in the movies you guys are marathoning for the night

“if you do twilight i’ll kill you”

“damn y/n why you gotta ruin my dreams like that”

it ends up being old horror movies that arent scary and like halfway through the 4th movie your head is on his shoulder and youre asleep

he stops the movies and turns the tv off, sighing, roasting you fondly

“idiot couldn’t even stay awake for all of it”

he lies down really carefully on the couch, bringing you with him

he really is a good pillow

it’s like 2 am by this point and some of the members are just about to be getting back from practice 

haechan sings really softly while youre asleep, your legs entangled in his and head squarely on his chest

he basically sings himself to sleep, and its in that position the other members find you, asleep together on the the couch

johnny cops haechan’s phone and takes a bunch of pics, making one of them haechan’s lock screen

haechan doesn’t change it when you guys wake up

I KNOW ITS BEEN LIKE 300 YEARS BUT-

5 things you’ll find in my bag

Right now theres uhh Notebooks, both school and 1 art. Drink mix ins, with such great flavors as sour apple jolly rancher and crush pineapple (tm) Two packs of cards, one of which steam punk themed and the other your regular ol bicycle. A calculator. Its a shitty old one but its for tests, i have google and shit for anything i need myself.

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom

A roommate. Idk if he is gay or what but he isnt straight, name’s will. Chill dude. Sleepin rn, what a fella MY SICK ASS COMPUTER IM MISSING OUT ON BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS ASLEEP AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I WANNA PLAY ROCKET LEAGUE WITHOUT LAGGING TO HELL also programming my mods. Need to upload that shit. Shit what number we on, 3? Okay cool. A bed. Wow really a bed in your bedrooM? yeah its pretty fuckin spectacular i know. I dont have posters n shit so like i gotta be creative you feel. A microfridge. Now i know what youre thinking, “ah a small fridge whats the big deal?” but no you dont understand, its a microwave fucking bolted onto the top of a fridge. They gave zero fucks attaching these two together and apparently the name is the same way, WHY NOT A FRIDGEWAVE EVEN LIKE MICROFRIDGE JUST SOUNDS LIKE A SMALL FRI- Last but not least, im tempted to just say my wallet here tbh, cuz its old but like, youd EXPECT that now would you? Something boring and mundane for me to fill out the word count with making everything super exciting so nah man, fuck it. Theres air in my bedroom. Fight me.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in my life

Make a videogame. Like okay, a lot of stuff on this list is jokes and stuff, and I know im going into too much detail and my followers will probably murder me in cold blood for this shit, but im serious about this one like - i have some ideas, but i never have the motivation alone to like work whole-heartedly and finish one but like, at some point in the future id love to sit down and just go at it and make a game. Doesnt matter if its popular or big or small just i wanna make something that i love ya feel? I wanna like, go to newark, delaware. I know, its delaware and all, no one lives there, but ive met a bunch of cool people there and i was promised a donut run sometime, so lookin forward to that. Yknow that post awhile back that was like “i dont wanna be rich and like buy shit, i just wanna have enough money to throw at kickstarters whenever i want without having to strain on my food and rent costs” thats me. 100% Like i wanna have just enough money to be able to donate to cool people and watch them do cool shit - it wont always work out but thats fine, I just love shit. I wanna be able to donate like the high prize and fly out to meet these game studios for coffee and shit and just talk with em and see their passion and ideas. I love it. Im not actually really sure besides those. Like idk. I think itd be cool to enter a game tournament with my brother and win, but i doubt thatll happen and its not super like on my desires just itd be cool cuz we named ourselves Sora and Shiro after NGNL and to see that like, have us win would be great. Yeah. Ill make my fifth to think of a fifth one.

5 things on my to do list

FLOPPY DICKS i mean disks. Floppy disks. I do binding of isaac ab+ modding shit, and im currently working (its mostly done for what i want it to do) which adds a new consumable called floppy disks, effects are based on viruses, bugs, and just computer based shit. Like BSOD for instance, which makes the screen literately bluescreen. Or atleast look like it. Cant wait to watch people play with it. I gotta work on the programming class project too but honestly i dont waannnaaa. Like its cool as shit. Recreate a card game using c++ code. But man, i just love Apocrypha and Floppies so much more. Eat today???? Please. Dining hall opens in 3 hours. Its goddamn 4 am. I want my food. Dunno if ill get it - if ill stay awake till then. But i want it. Probably draw some stuff? Like i posted one drawing already (check it out if u wanna ;) kay?) but like theres wacom tablets here i can just kinda use whenever???? its great. I love being able to just draw stuff on em. Even if i suck at drawing, even if it took 10 hours to make the one i posted here, still love. Probably play more rocket league. Sleep first, soon as i get that food im CRASHIN BOI IM OUTTIE HA but uhh, rocket league has a halloween thing rn and i like playing it. Was playing earlier today and i matchd with a dude in 2v2 that had the same car, skin, AND colors set up as mine. Totaly random. We kicked some major ass together. I kept thinking of the same hat comic the entire time. (also my card was superior because it had furry ears on it ;))

5 things that make me happy

Getting an idea for a thing and working at said thing until like boom it went from this abstract idea to now it has a physical form and it works! And its fun and its great and i can share it with other people and they can have fun too!!!! that feeling is wonderful.  Obviously friends man. Just doing shit with people can be so great sometimes - like not all the time sure but like man. Its nice to talk to people and share experiences and just smile and tell bad jokes and have them groan but like it anyway like thats the shit. Going out at 2 am and walking to a nearby run down schoolyard and swinging on the swingsets and watching shooting stars burn up. Thats the good shit. Getting tents and setting em up in your friends back yard when your friend from far away comes up for a few days, and playing ridiculous games in a group like kick the can or fuckin zombie screaming your lungs out in the dark to freak em out, or just talkin around a fire about fuckin life man. The people make life great. Shits worth living for. I realize that last answer covered a LOT of shit but like, im just gonna add here videogames. Would be amiss if i didnt mention that, considering the rocket league rant above lmao. Yeah i better not make this category any longer.

5 things I’m (currently) into

Isaac modding, probably will be for awhile. Its good shit. As a suggestion from one of the people I work with (we also fuck around its a good time) i have started watching space dandy. Its a slow progress through lol like an episode or two a day but god man like its pretty ridiculous and the main character is pretty much everything i was expecting from seeing him everywhere. Rocket league again. It comes and goes with various different games to tide me over, give me a break from working. Bout 2 months ago or so said relaxing time was dominated by anime - i suddenly went on like a massive streak of watching shit. By that i mean, i watched all of hunter x hunter in like 2 weeks, among other shows prior to it. But yeah. Fuck man HXH I LOVED THE KING WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I have too many emotions about that. I wrote a rant to the Groupchat (tm) about the fucking battle and how everything is in slow motion but it fucking like makes it like foreshadowed and have so much of an impact and still so much fucking happens even while everything runs at super slow mo just GOD KLASFJBHUGHASFIUHIPJASK anyway. Yeah. Music, as always im listening to like constantly. Wireless headphones are a wonder for this, but uhh....i cant say im especially into any specific thing rn right? Like a bit ago i was super into joywave and then that faded out and now im just listening to whatever random shit, yknow? But I am into music in general. Its good. Art! A lot of times i dont do shit like for drawing right, like especially not in like pencil in notebooks but like, i sorta started doing a lot more art stuff? Like i had a period awhile back last year where i stopped using pencils and used only pens and i just loved the aesthetic of the ink like how it looked (funny how im doing the opposite of the fucking inktober though, huh?) but yeah im back into using pencils to draw shit occasionally. Im still terrible at drawing people (which is what i see mostly everyone drawing on tumblr lmao RIP) but its fun to sketch stuff out and just let my thoughts run and bounce to some music and shit right? Also the tablets. Especially with the tablets.

5 things people may not know about me (at least on tumblr)

I basically constantly wear sweatshirts, and they all have like earbuds where the strings go. All the earbud shits are broken pretty much, like occasionally they work (the one i have rn does) but like, i dont ever really use them? i have wireless headphones for my phone and a headset (because i need the mic for my computer) for said computer so like, idk. But yeah. I rarely take em off when im not home, and sometimes even when i am i just kinda keep em anyway? (also just now i realized i talked in the section for room shit about all the stuff in my current dorm, my room at home has all KINDS of wierd fucking shit in it. Really missed an opportunity there.) Like many people i like to stay hydrated and shit, but drinking water all the time seemed like a chore more than anything so i got like drink mix ins and shit, mio’s or whatever offbrand version you can find at your local SUPERSTORE CONGLOMERATE. I drink em like all the time pretty much so atleast im health in one way :P. Also gummy vitamins. I dont excercise but you can only ask for so much. Idk, its hard to think of things for this section because tumblr knows so little about me yknow? Like i never make my own posts or shit like its SUPER rare so im pretty much just tryna find random facts but that might not be interesting? Like i have a bad habbit of like talking way too loud when im excited about something right? Not quite yelling but like getting there and like idk. See? Thats not super interesting but it is something no one online would be able to really know ya feel? Idk. I mean physically im kinda fat as you do, but im also like wierdly strong? Like for someone who never works out i sure do have arm strength if nothing else lmao. My endurance is shit tho. Honestly? I can only blame it on osu and groceries. Osu is just a game i like where you mash buttons to the beat of weaboo shit tier music. The groceries is just because like, well, my policy is Least Trips Possible which means carrying in 13 bags at a time if need be it, fuck it milk too? And a watermellon? Bring it. 

Who am I tagging? Idk man. Just for shits and stuff tho i do wanna tag @theoriginalyami just to see what all’s changed in teh long time since i actually went to fill it out :P Dont feel like you have to add as much as me tho omg @milkchocolateowl because honestly? love you. Think about you a lot, just like glad im mutuals with that ray of sunshine. Good. @fantaledfish <3 (this is the friend i mentioned earlier, runs a QUALITY blog i guarantee it, better than mine for sure) @dragonfucker-supreme always top in my notes, a silent bond, like two guards assigned to watch back to back in the early dawn. Birds gather round. I can only tag so many people (i set myself a limit of 5 because...idk why i just mentally it felt right) so for my last trick gotta go with @ask-oncies-jizz like cmon man name changes for the win, also has quality icons and quality shitposts tbh, supreme top meme. Have fun yall.

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

-- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] began pestering invincibleDetective [ID] -- 

PT: hey nerd im bored. 

PT: got some funny jokes to crack in my direction?? im all ears. :ear:

ID: So a hot blonde walks into a bar. Orders a double entendre. 

ID: Obviously the bartender gives it to her.

PT: lmao. 

PT: is that a joke or a short biography about ryan strider?

ID: Can't it be both?

PT: WOW. 

PT: i walked right into that. 

PT: BUT WOW!!!!

ID: Ladies and gentlemen! It came straight out of left field. 

ID: I'm not talking a clean game of limbo for Miss Strider. No, folks. This is a good old fashioned clothesline. 

ID: Neck to pole and back to the mat. Haha.

PT: I CAME OUT HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME. 

PT: youre just lucky were in your territory where verbal assaults are to your advantage. 

PT: if i were physically there youd be getting your ass beat.

ID: Then it'd be two of us getting wasted. 

ID: But hey I was already halfway there when you rang so.

PT: oh really??

ID: When I walk in the club... all eyes on me...

PT: :eye::sweat_droplets:

ID: When you're me. Every night is rave night. 

ID: But I really shouldn't be advertising this. You're a recoveree. And I'm a dunderfuck. 

ID: We all knew that, however.

PT: yeah what the fuck my dude???

PT: just kidding. im feeling alright tonight so its not quite as tempting. 

PT: itd be fun to join you though. but i wont cramp your style.

ID: Nothing more stylish than a combination cheap ass wine, smokes, no pants, and listening to audio books in what I presume is the coveted darkness of my room. 

ID: Aka, living it up.

PT: wow a lot has changed about the rave experience since i last partied. 

PT: still sounds pretty dope.

ID: I am the dopest motherfucker as they come. 

ID: I'm pretty sure lady ahead of her time Kim Kardashian said that.

PT: thats probably legit actually. like it sounds dumb enough to be.

ID: She was ahead of her time.

PT: says the man we all know to be a dunderfuck.

ID: I was roasted before I even set foot on the stage.

PT: preroasted like a rotisserie chicken at the grocery store.

ID: Heat me on high for three minutes and do me a solid. 

ID: Eat me.

PT: mmm delicious.

ID: Rrrawr.

PT: lmao okay stop right there. thats officially TOO MUCH.

ID: I honestly hate that it translated to text so well but here we are. 

ID: Living with our mistakes.

PT: im losing my goddamn mind imagining you sitting in the dark growling to yourself.

ID: It's not a phase, Ryan. It's who I am.

PT: a dunderfuck???? yes we know.

ID: You can't use it against me two times in a row, okay. It just doesn't work that way. 

ID: Sheesh.

PT: i can use it as much as i want if its still true.

ID: See. That's a little bit better.

PT: :blush:

PT: hey... what kind of work can you see me doing? im looking into getting a job right now.

ID: A job... 

ID: Why do you need one of those for.

PT: to keep me busy mostly.

ID: That's fair. 

ID: Why not join the old family enterprise. 

ID: Smuppets don't sell themselves after all.

PT: oh my god.

PT: i dont want dirk as a boss though. can you imagine?

ID: I think I can picture it pretty clearly.

PT: right? the last thing i need is my older brother lecturing me on the proper way to handle felt dicks.

ID: Our experiences on the matter are respectively different, Dirk. For fuck's sake.

PT: EXACTLY!!!!

PT: but all things considered it might be fun... if he even has anything for me to do. dude loves to micromanage.

ID: He does. But it doesn't mean your input should fall flat. 

ID: Maybe it would be good for the two of you. I mean... what's better than this? 

ID: Two siblings bonding over plush ass and felt dick. 

ID: I know what I'm doing this weekend.

PT: its hallmark worthy to be honest??? 

PT: i guess ill drop in on him sometime. we havent hung out much since ive been home anyway... 

PT: plus i bet hes having a hard time with the whole empty nest thing now that the babiest boy is outta the house.

ID: Are you sure? According to John, there's finally room for the King Baby.

PT: king baby??? 

PT: i feel like that should be emboldened. 

PT: king baby???

ID: King Baby. 

ID: Hallelujah. I say. Amen.

PT: :pray:

PT: okay well now that i have an agenda for tomorrow i guess ill leave you to your pantless evening of wine and audio books.

ID: Take it easy, Ryan. 

ID: Sleep tight when you do.

PT: i will. :heart:

PT: nighty night. 

 -- primadonnaTartuffe [PT] ceased pestering invincibleDetective [ID] --

Ep. 1 - “I am THE Survivor Chick And I Am Here To Win It All!!” - Susan

Franco

hehe

Maxyne

I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!!!!! I don't know why I am, it's just another Survivor game but... I have be someone else kind of. So for this game I have to be "Maxyne" and I'm keeping my pronoun flexibility but I'm gonna be pushing the feminine side a bit more. Maxyne is actually my irl sister's middle name so it'll be easy for me to quickly become familiar with that name being used for me. I also know that Tim is gonna be in this game but idk who and I sure as hell don't wanna find out. Tim actually told me to apply cause they said that they were applying to but my dumbass did NOT know this was an alias game so now I'm fumbling around in the dark trying get into costume n shit not knowing what to do or what to expect. The only thing I have to cling onto my knowledge of Survivor ORGs and Jay's style of hosting. Which honestly don't do me well cause I haven't played Survivor in... months and I haven't been tuned into a Jay game in months too so I have no idea the ride I'm in for. One thing I did do is scroll through the rules, cause my experience always tells me that whenever there's a tumblr blog for an ORG, there's always something hidden somewhere there. Lo and behold, I was right so come 9 PM tonight I will be camping on the rules page updating and waiting for a clue, or someway to start my search. Cause every Survivor game i've played, the idol is found in less then 5 minutes and by the way I've formulated a thought about the idol, it's already long gone. So hopefully, I can pull a Merida and change my fate. Also there was a mention of One World rounds happening in this game??? UMMMM WTF??? PLEASE LET THAT BE A ONE TIME THING. Anyways, sorry for the word vomit, I usually have a lot of pre game jitters and thoughts so I figured I'd get a jump on my confessional count and start talking now. Let's hope I can pull through for this game and make it far. Or vote me out first, i'd rather not have responsibilities right now. 

Rain

I’m looking forward to this. I’m looking forward to people not remembering who I am. I’ve been out of this a year now, I’m well and ready to get first boot, but I’m curious to see how a better, matured me will play. Probably badly, let’s be fuckin real. Anyway I’ll check back in toward the middle of this round. We’ll see how all my sockpuppet counterparts compare against my impossible standards.

Maxyne

5 minutes before the game starts and mama we. Are. SCARED.

Elle

This time around I am going to go for a peppy, happy-go-lucky girl. Not all of my tribe mates are online atm which majorly sucks! Plus, not everyone has me added. I am going to wait till people add me before I add them. I'll give it the night into the morning for that to happen. Otherwise, I'll slowly add them one-by-one. I want to do the slide puzzles because I know I am good at them. I'm going for a more hands-off approach when it comes to socializing so I need all the time I can get to set myself up in the tribe. If we can win the challenge then it'll be a great opportunity to really bond with my tribe mates. 

Maxyne, Fae, and Erick seem to be the most active atm with Fae being the most social. I'll observe how far that socializing and activity goes on. It can either work to my benefit or I need to get rid of the ASAP.

Frank

Wanna start by saying that having a round button in this form is the smartest thing I’ve ever seen. Now onto my confessional: this tribe is alright, some people haven’t spoken yet I think and people seem nice and cooperative thus far. I’m so nosy so not knowing who everyone is is going to be a struggle for me. But I’m guessing Maynor is Gregg on the other tribe bc of the Sophie icon, but watch me be wrong. I’ll try to keep confessionals interesting, but then again I lie sometimes so womp. 

Worm

So I am an hour into my first alias game and I’m already stressing the fuck out. I am so used to being able to go on call with people and get to know them. I wanna say one of my greatest strength is getting solid reads on people when I talk to them but that is only when I can go on call with them. This whole thing is gonna be a struggle

Fae

well we are an hour into this game and I have already fucked up my story. Guess I'm moving home now because I didn't think anything through. dear god. Why am I like this? guess moving my grandmother is going to turn into Me moving home lol. welp, lets see how this goes. 

Maxyne

*googles How to stop oversharing*

Michele

Franco is a king we stan. Also I’m still laughing at worms name

Rain

Michele: Chosen one, will betray at f5

Susan: OTTN5 

Worm: oh, worm? 

Gregg: Dylan in disguise, watch me betray him again 

Uhhh I’ll be back with the rest eventually first night is horrid

Idol hunt: OTTNNNNNNN10

Dusty

So far im feeling good on my tribe! I'm getting along really well with Erick! We have a lot in common and match each others energy. I'm also talking well with Fae, who says they think we've played a game together!! So I'm trying to figure out who it might be! I'm a little worried about the people who haven't spoken yet, but hopefully I'll be able to get to know them!

Elle

I think I'm connecting well with Maxyne. Since we are both doing the same assignment, it allows for me to grow closer with them. I think I might make them my ride-or-die, but I want to see how well our connection lasts in the days to come. Van and I are making great conversation in the tribe chat. I hope they will want to work with me. Other than that, I have not chatted with anyone else on the tribe. The people who have contacted me I talk to sporadically. I hope this is enough to get me by as I do not want to be seen as a social threat later down the line. Also, like, why did so many people get a disadvantage? I am so disappointed in all of them, but I know we can pull through!

lenny

off to an interesting start! so far, I am enjoying my tribe. definitely more chill than my last one but only time will tell. people's true motives will come out soon and this time, I am trying to really pay attention to who is a leader and who is a follower.

Franco

Nera tribe has such good positive energies? There hasn't been any friction, everyone is joking with each other, and overall everyone is having a great time!! Very honestly though I'm not sure what to make of everyone in a game and strategic sense. I've tried talking game with the majority of the tribe but most of it was still just like small talk and vague sentences. Im tryna play this fast and hard but I don't think anyone else is ):   I vibe really well with Michele, Eliza, and Rain. Michele and Rain are so fun and probably down to get messy, so they'd be great allies. And eliza just seems like a genuinely good person that I think I would get along with really nicely!! I also REALLY want this reward challenge. Ive gotten three people at least who said that they would vote for me so!! Let's hope I win, at the very least itd be nice to prove to myself that I can have a good social game early on

Franco

On my very FIRST idol hunt of the SEASON I find?? A legacy advantage??? Im so??? Shook and excited. I just have a feeling that this is my game! Night 1 kinda sets the tone of the whole game and I had an AMAZING night 1. I also uhhh am dumb and told Michele that i found it. My goal was to gain her trust so we could work together but? She kinda just didn't respond and changed the topic. Idk if that's a good sign so yikes!!

Elle

Honestly, I should resign myself to the fate that we will not win the next challenge. So, it is imperative that we win this challenge so that we do not go to tribal two times in a row. I hope my score of 85 is enough because I could not get it any higher than that. I am honestly very frustrated with my tribe at the moment, but I guess we shall see how things develop. Maxyne and Erick getting the advantage is interesting only because it shows who has been the most social. I will either need to get in good with the both of them or take them out early. However, the most active and social people usually do not go home first. For now, I will just keep my eye on the two of them and see how they position themselves. 

Elle

Erick giving the tribe the clue was definitely a strategic move. He wants to build trust and be transparent with everyone in order for them to like him. I see right through it. However, it is nice to get an edge on the hunt. 

Fae

I FOUND THE IDOL!!!! Erick decided to share the clue and I FOUND IT!!!! 

Eliza

dear m’fucking diary...

Hey gays, this is a crack fest. I’m doing this confession rn so that I don’t have to do that fever dream of a puzzle. I got a bat to the face when I did the idol hunt, funnnnn. So, let’s recap! I’ve been connecting with a lot of people so far and that’s great, I love my tribe rn and I’m happy that Franco won the reward considering that I voted for them, so now I can at least get on Franco’s good side an maybe get some info👀. Because this is alias I probably will be playing a tad bit differently but I’m still going to be the social playing badass that y’all know and love! The worst part of this so far is that I can’t fucking say y’all, who the hell says y o u g u y s. I’m changing how I speak just a bit so that I don’t immediately get clocked, so basically I can’t use y’all and lmao in every sentence. The people I feel closest to right now are Franco, Michelle, tristin, rain, and worm. In that order, don’t get me wrong, I love everyone in the tribe, those are just the people I’ve been able to connect with the most. I’d love to move forward with that group but if that doesn’t happen well then whatever, I mean I talk to literally everyone so I’ll survive. Pretending to be interested romantically in men (sorry James Zachary) is horrible, but I think people are at least believing that I’m 20. Jay told me that all I have to do to be an adult is be excited about stupid boring shit, so I’m just gonna pretend that I’m happy about buying a new couch. Well I’ll check back in soon to update y’all about people and probably give an analysis about everyone.  That’s it, much loveeeee

Fae

I just want to say how ironic it is that I decided to do the idol hunt in the challenge and in reality actually found an idol 

Gregg

Well. Im already overwhelmed and literally wanted out. (Jay knows why) But im doing counting challenge and i hope another f4 counting challenge doesnt affect my perfermance for this one. I really want to help the tribe win. Honestly im not gunna bother trying to figure out who is who. Im just gunna play and think the people are the people and play normally. Trying to guess ppl is what gunna mess me up. So wont bother with it but some phrase some ppl have said. I feel like i know who they r.

Franco

I WON FIRST REWARD AHHH. I'm such a social legend? Look at me? I'm literally winning this game. I kinda don't care about the clue because I already have a legacy advantage, AND half of a super idol (that I gotta give to somebody else, booooo), so I'm kinda??? Being chaotic and giving the clue to everyone who voted for me. It can give me an opportunity to gain more trust on the tribe

Tristin

https://youtu.be/Wyi5uWAulnE

Maxyne

I know this is late and it's long but i fell asleep last night while this was uploading, so sorry https://youtu.be/mXmbL49orVI

Elle

Now that I have gotten to talk to everyone I can finally assess my tribe. I feel like I can be great allies with Maxyne. They voted for me in the reward which means we have a mutual good vibe from each other. Hopefully I can make them my ride-or-die. Fae and Van are really nice and I can get down with them. I think if I could choose a strong alliance of three I would pick them while having Maxyne as my real ride-or-die. Sasha seems to be the least social with me which means that they could be an easy target. I don't trust Erick or Cran because they just give me bad vibes. I do not think anything of Frank. They are probably with Sasha as one of the least social in the tribe. At least Sasha is being active within the tribe chat. Finally, I think Dusty is a sweetheart and could possibly be another one of my allies. At the very least, I know I was strong in the challenge and have at least been moderately social. This means I will not be the first boot if we were to go to tribal. 

Dusty

So now we've got an alliance in the works between me, Fae, Erick, and Elle. All in the name of working together to find the idol. I feel good about the group! Me and Erick are both each others closest ally. He won the reward challenge and in doing so he was able to will be half of a super idol! We don't know where the other half might be, but I'm really happy to see that Erick trusted me enough to will me a super idol!

van

So uh...I haven’t been super active because the world is burning around us. But I’m trying. So far I really enjoy the people I’m playing with!

Elle

Dusty asking me to work with Fae and Erick on finding the idol which works out well for me. This means I have already positioned myself into a sort of alliance which I hope will carry me in the future. 

Elle

Fae confirmed with me the alliance that Dusty approached me with. However, there was no chat made. Also, Cranjes was added to the alliance by Erick and Fae which tells me that those those two are very social with him. These people are making their connections to obvious. Either way, with those people I have a 5-person majority. Hopefully these people will carry me through the pre-swap phase of the game, but I am getting pretty nervous in my seat. I do not trust Erick and Cranjes. I like Dusty and Fae, but I cannot get a read on the other two. Plus, if no chat has been made, how are we going to solidify the alliance? Hopefully my performance in the challenge will cover me for now, but I am getting pretty nervous at the moment.

Michele

elfranchele just started! it's an alliance chat with michele, franco, and eliza. excited to see where this goes!!

I can't tell if Susan is just super into her alias or if she really is old with her hubs

Cranjes

everyone seems nice. i guess. idk. i fell off a waterfall and fucked up my ankle for a fucking idol. but if anyone asks, it was sasha. 

i have something against the name sasha bc peppermint should’ve won season 9 of drag race, not sasha velour

Fae

Soooo, there is now a chat for people to hell each other look for the idol. The idol I have...

Frank

YESSSSSSS!!! I’m not gonna be first boot. It’s a party even though I didn’t win my section. Eliza didn’t do their part on the other tribe and that’s a yikes (at least with a 2 hour time exactly that’s what I’m assuming). So like they’re probably going. I’m really happy I don’t have to worry about tribal tomorrow because my sister wants to drink and celebrate her birthday since plans went sour because of that quarantine life. But gamewise though, I want to talk to Erick tomorrow since they seem like someone I could work with, although based on reward I think multiple people think that. Gonna remember that. Gotta be social....but I’m me so it’ll be an uphill battle.

Rain

So, we lost immunity. 

I could have seen that coming - but at least we weren’t totally destroyed. I’m already thinking Susan as a name but uhhh we’ll see where it goes. I’m pretty good with Franco, Michele and Eliza. I wouldn’t be shook if there was an alliance chat made at some point. I like Tristan too! And Gregg. And Lenny. ....okay I like everyone but Susan. Susan I’m sorry I respect your character choice but it ain’t it, chief. 

Gregg

I feel like i might be good for this tribal. Only one name has been said which kinda worries me but im trying to stay positive. Susan is the target tonight and as long as it isnt me. Im okay with voting for whoever. Franco did share the clue with me. It was a simple clue so idk if itll be helpful or not. Im looking at a certain spot and doing all the 4 spots in the section. So hopefully i can find something.

erick

hi i have the eco fascist dream flu and i cannot move but cranjes is john and fae is birch confirmed, i fucked up the challenge but not to the extent that we lost so that’s nice. current alliance going with fae, elle, and dusty (dusty’s my fave). they elected to give me the idol clue and i got half of the super idol so i gave that to dusty as was required and then shared the clue with the group at large because i’m a communist

Worm

So we lost the first immunity challenge. It sucks but I'll get over it. The thing that worries me now is trying to get a read on everyone during the vote. Because I don't know who I'm playing with I'm struggling on getting a read on anyone. On the bright side though I think I'm doing pretty well socially. I've talked to Michele and Tristin and they seem to trust me so I'm happy about that. Also it seems like the tribe has come to a unanimous vote to getting rid of Susan. I feel bad about getting her out but she is firmly holding on to her character which I think is making it difficult for her to make connections with other people in the tribe. The only that has me worried about this whole thing is how easy this vote is going. My anxious head just wonders about how people behind the scenes could be plotting to get me out and I just don't know it. This also isn't helped by the reward challenge and Franco receiving 5 votes to get the clue. A couple votes wouldn't have made me suspicious but 5 just seems like a lot. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but all my anxiety is saying is that there is a majority alliance already formed in the first couple hours of the game and now I'm just playing from the bottom. Hopefully that isn't true but only time will tell.

Susan Burke

I Am SO SO Excited To Be Here!! I am THE Survivor Chick And I Am Here To Win It All!! Everyone So Far Has Been So Kind. I Love These Kids!! However, I Know My Age Will Make Me A Target. They Don't Believe This Ol' Hiney Can Keep Up With Them!! So, I Wanted To Make It Clear That I Am LOYAL To This Tribe And Its People!! When I Was Out Looking For The Idol, I Stumbled Upon The Other Tribe's Camp!! How AWKWARD!! I Decided To Tell Franco - He's Popular, And The First One To Really See SUSAN For SUSAN. Hopefully I Can Buy His Trust, Because He Can Keep This Nanna Safe!! It's Really Unfortunate We Lost...But It Was So Close!! We Won't Lose Again!! I Was Instantly Worried It Would Be Me, But Doing The Challenge With Tristin Bonded Us!! Together, We Decided That Gregg Would Be Our Target, And Now We Gotta Get Everyone ONBOARD!! #TeamSDB

Franco

Im very very sad we have to go to tribal. Like i genuinely enjoy everyone on the tribe!! But it's the way the game goes, every time someone leaves it gets me one place closer to winning hehe. I now have an official alliance with Michele and Eliza and??? We are going to SLAY this game. We all have our individual strengths and I think we could be a powerhouse. Unless Susan has an idol, shes going tonight. Its sad because shes so fun but im not surprised. Everyone else on the tribe seems to have some sort of personal stake or investment in the game besides her. 

Elle

Having immunity means that I can safely bond with my tribemates without the game hovering over our heads. I'm really vibing with everyone in the tribe chat. However, I do not want to go into PMs unless they want to talk to me because it is such a Raffy thing to do to talk to people in PMs. I will try to be as social as possible in the tribe chat to still have those bonds, but I do not want to be seen as some sort of social butterfly.

Tristin

So we LOST the challenge and that sucks!! It appears that the majority of people want to vote out SUSAN and I hate it!! She’s super sweet and the older players always get voted out first! Maybe because she hasn’t been as social as everyone else! At least thats the explanation. I pretty much solidified working with Worm, Franco, and Eliza pretty much. Michele as well I think! But separately of course! I can’t wait for an alliance chat! Sorry to this Susan!!

Sasha

It's strange to be playing in a game where I know there's people playing that I already know but I have no idea who they are. I've talked a little bit to each but not a ton. I don't have too many guesses as to who is who, though. That's it.