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#literally not a moment of peace with these bitches
secretdonderwolk · 1 day
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it is interesting how daniel said A LOT “it showed me who my real friends are” in a few different variations through the Mclaren saga and clear that max passed that test
like damn… daniels so spiteful😭 not in a malicious way but he is 10000% keeping score— such a righteous guy (with the stroll thing, apologizing for carlos crash, saying he keeps track of who blanks him) and that’s why him and max work so well!! Max is a honest guy! Daniels said before Max is a man of his word (literal quote!) and I’ll always remember him reiterating to media that Max made the effort to apologize to him after crashes and admit fault. I think it actually helps Daniel that Max always treats him the same :) like hiiii daniel, my happy fun guy!!! (Even though daniels in like the 6th circle of hell). Reminds Daniel of who he is (that bitch!!!!!)
hmmmmhm! it is interesting to see that max passed the test because for a little while there it was hard to figure out when and why, you know? i don’t think daniel is spiteful necessarily—i don’t think he’d be having dinner with say, lando, if he was—but i do think you’re so right that he keeps the score, even if only for his own peace of mind. like probably outwardly he’s still hanging and chilling with whoever is on his shit list but on the inside, he will not forget...
and yessss! for sure something i can see as one of the things daniel really appreciates about max, espesh wrt the whole f1 world they live in. i was actually rewatching some stuff from ages ago and there was an interesting moment where daniel said to max that sometimes he feels that people take advantage of him because he’s the fun, easygoing guy and people think he’ll just do whatever. and i do think it shows that he picks his people very carefully. also if that’s something that really genuinely bothers him, i can see why he’d pick max as one of his people because max has many flaws but taking advantage of anyone/being opportunistic about people is not one of them
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eveekin · 2 years
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need someone to take these damn earphones away from me why is technology the way it is
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panb1mbo · 2 months
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oooo love it when the suicidal ideation be ideating
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flippedorbit · 1 year
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my mom’s about to be the reason i off myself exactly a week before graduation if she keeps bitching about every little thing
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bo0zey · 1 year
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my manager has kids:(😕 but i have a new resident doctor crush soooo;)😳
#i knew i didn’t stand a chance !!!!!#also i saw my first pediatric cardiac arrest today#i was okay during the code i was glad i could be helpful i just gave out flushes lol#they didn’t make it but i had a feeling that was gonna be the outcome cuz they were already in rigor mortis when they got to us#the doctor leading the code was the one i’ve recently started talking to more n he’s like rlly friendly w everyone#i wish i knew the difference between someone being nice to me and flirting w me lol#anyways he did really good leading the code as well as the other doctors doing their best n everyone else#he wanted to hold a debriefing w everyone afterwards but i stayed back to clean up the room so when mom say her baby it#wouldn’t be as traumatizing w all the blood snd gastric contents soaked towels and garbage EVERYWHERE#i wish they’d stopped the code sooner the doctor leading the code was the first to point out the baby was in rigor right at the beginning#but obviously cuz it’s a peds case they wanna do everything they can and he literally did EVERYTHING all the code meds u could possibly orde#this stupid lady next to me who had no idea what she was talking abt was like ‘wait i think i see something on the monitor’ n im like bitch?#the baby was literally PEA they’re in fcking rigor mortis stop trying to prolong this horribly aggressive mess just let it end peacefully#baby was asystole throughout the entire code..they couldn’t even intubate him cuz his jaw was clenched so tight#anyways right after everyone agreed w the leading doctor to end it the doc like put both hands on the bed and kinda#bowed his head but i saw the pained look on his face i hope he didn’t blame himself i mean he knew from the start the baby was in rigor and#he asked everyone to give the baby a moment at the end of the code#that’s when they were all gonna go debrief but i stayed behind#anyways my supervisors were asking me if i was ok n i was like yeah bc the baby looked so much more at peace when we readied the room formom#then later the leading code doctor found me and asked if i was okay and i said was fine..i felt better knowing he was already gone before#he got to the hospital and was in literal rigor mortis with a rectal temp of 94 deg F#but i didn’t want to seem too heartless bc i could tell the code had upset him and he was talking in a more quietly#concercdndd voice like he’s usually always loud and joking around like me so :( and the fact that he stopped to talk w me privately n was#genuinely wanting to know if i was okay made me ;-; cuz im not used to being comforted?? or having my emotions validated#i was like ‘yeah im fine now haha it might all hit me later when im driving home alone at the end of the shift lol’#n he gave me a pat on the shoulder n said i did a good job ;—;#ngl i always thought he was kinda cute but i only just started talking n working w him on pts tuesday n i think he likes me????#idk bc he’s friendly n easy to get along w everyone AS AM I but idk we talked 1-1 before n i got a Vibe 😳 from him#but anyways then i got home n had pasta n talked to my fam abt my day and told them i had my first peds cardiac arrest#then all of a sudden something in me switch??i felt myself stiffen n my eyes started watering so i went to my room n ended up crying 4 20min
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freshfromhell · 20 days
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fucked up life update: the stepsister i've been alienated from since the age of like 10 is naming her first child after me
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deadghosy · 3 months
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WHERE PENGUIN! READER WILL LIVE IN:
Pt5 of Penguin! Reader x Hazbin Hotel
Prompt: The aftermath of the court is where you decided where to live
Note: this will be the final part of the series lol. Sorry if the sections are short, I tried to make it long with the bullet points just being some. 💗
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“The court has spoken. The rightful place the reader belongs in, is……” sera say opening her mouth to announce the news.
HELL
Lucifer is fucking happy that sera said that would go with them. Charlie has tears dropping out her eyes as she finally is relived to have you by her side and kingdom. Adam was pissed as he thrown papers on the ground. Lute is screaming mentally as her heart breaks.
Back in hell, every one does a celebration party. You get a bandanna with your name, the scarf wrapped around your neck has the name of Y/N Morningstaryou are officially in the family. Welcome to hell.
Literally you get all the food you love in a week of celebrating before they monitor what you eat 💗
Charlie is such an older sister vibe as she shows you the ropes of being royalty as she gives you an allowance. Which you totally didn’t spend in cookies and cakes. But matter of most is that she even shows you how to run the hotel while you just quack at things from afar. Overall her protective rate is 5/10.
Lucifer may be happy and relived that you can be in hell with him. But he is still worried about your safety in hell as he watches you closely and even has razzle and dazzle to look after you. It’s cute and all for you. But for others, they can tell this man baby’s you so much to the point he even gets you to bed like one. Overall his protective level is 100/10
Vaggie loves teaching you how to use her spear in case the exterminators try to kidnap you. She is always the one who watches you on the playground to make sure you are okay. Her protective rate is 9/10
Husk is the damn grumpy drunk uncle who only has a soft spot for you as you aren’t annoying and is pure. Literally you aren’t a bad kid as you just help clean glasses. PST, he actually bought plastic looking glasses so you won’t cut yourself on accident. Plus he appreciates that you want to help him. It’s just you are so small and he is bigger than you. Overall his protective level is 7.5/10
Angel is like that older brother who knows how to hide bruises. And of course we know why…but like past that imagine you bruised your whole ass knee and you didn’t want anyone to worry for you so you went to angel. He chuckled and took care of it. You are such a cutie that he kisses your head and sends you off. Overall his protective level is 7/10
Alastor loves teaching you about his radio station. He even takes you as a co-host and a regular guest as he makes you quack out a song. 💗 some awesome uncle and nephew/niece moments as he also makes you tea if you can’t sleep. His protective rate is 8.5/10
And the rest of hell, they love you equally as somewhat you bring hope in hell to have them redeemed as they visit the hotel to see you and meet you. Hell, the other deadly sins met you and were in awe at how cute you were. Beelzebub was immediately starstruck as she feeds you some of the best food in hell.
So in the end, you love being in the royal family of the Morningstars. It’s peaceful in the hotel with you around as Angel can now get a lot of days off💗
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HEAVEN
Adam is immediately flipping off the two demon royals as he lifts you up in his arms. “SUCK IT BITCHES AHAH!” Adam yells pulling you close to his pudgy body as lute is flipping them off from behind the first man as the two demon royals are sent back in hell.
After exiting court, you are met with getting ice cream with the two angels who were fighting with the demon royals verbally. Adam got you [favorite flavor] ice cream as lute just smiles smugly happy to have you here with them.
Adam has gotten use to you not leaving him like how his other ex-wives did. He won’t admit he feels insecure about you leaving him. But with you now being property of heaven and you living with him personally. He feels like he might actually have a loved one with him. It’s not like romantic since you take form of a gah damn actually penguin. It’s more of a platonically close friendship. He finds you alluring at how sweet you are to others. Even if Adam isn’t. Overall his protective meter is 9.5/10
Lute is still the same ol lute everyone knows. It’s just that she watches you from afar. Keeps tabs on you and where you go. Its like if she’s your personal bodyguard. She always love bombs you in a manipulative way. She just wants you to depend on her. I mean hell, she’s literally crazy at how pure of gold you are in heaven. Her protectiveness level is…200/10😨
Sera is a busy woman, but she keeps tabs on you too. Even sending a angelic guard to make sue you are mentally okay and not unstable of taking you away of your so called “home” down there. But she cares for you endlessly in a mother figure way. her protective meter is 5.5/10
Emily is happy regardless if you went it heaven or hell. This girl literally take you shopping with her as she get you a cute sailor like outfit for your delivery job. She even makes you your own damn basket to give cookies to your regulars with their mail. Overall, this sweet girl’s protective meter 4/10
St. Peter sends you cookies on weekends as it’s the days that you aren’t working as the adorable penguin delivery boy. 💗 St. Peter checks up on you as well as you are just staying home and he comes by just to see if you are liking to live in heaven for years now.
You live with Adam as he and you have some kind of relationship were he wants to look after you. Literally it’s oddly sweet this man has a change of heart kind of. He literally will try to cook only for you to burn out the fire in the kitchen. He’s ordering gah damn take out.
See, me personally you’re still getting stalked a bit from yandere! Lute as she smile smugly seeing you in heaven everyday and replaying the son of bitches face when you got to stay in heaven with them.
The amount of times angels in heaven have gifted you lots of grift baskets for the custody of heaven. It’s crazy as it’s whole bunch of fans just celebrating you staying 💗 it’s sweet but crazy.
Overall you still got your job as a paper delivery person and you get watched 24/7 every day. From afar….😨 but all you know is that you are safe in heaven still missing the people below them.
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BOTH
Heaven and hell is shocked, what I mean by that is Lucifer and Adam being shocked. Adam is immediately yelling out profanities at how this is “complete bullshit”. Emily and Charlie did a mutual nod to each other not hating or liking this idea as it seems clear and fair to share you 50/50 like divorce parents.
After court, it was time to hang out with hell only to go heaven for the next day. 😭 honestly, you could stay in hell for a week and go to heaven for another whole week☝🏾😕
Adam gets so salty seeing Lucifer pick you up and take you through the portal to hell. Lute just scowls walking away. Meanwhile Lucifer is still salty as well to share you, he has to be mature as Charlie was just excited to have you the whole week.
HONESTLY IF ITS VALENTINE’S DAY, YOU GET SO MUCH CHOCOLATE AND TEDDY BEARS FROM HEAVEN AND HELL. OMG IMAGINE YOUR BIRTHDAY 😱😨LEGIT A WHOLE CARTOON ASS BIRTHDAY-
You still sleep in Lucifer’s bed when you stay in hell, but there is still a spare room for you. And for heaven you sleep directly in the same room as Adam as he snores holding your chubby and round fluffy body.
Thanks to @gineazu for the idea of this schedule of them sharing reader.
Hell has reader on mondays Wednesday's Friday's and sundays. As heaven has them on tuesdays thursdays and Saturdays like a true ass divorce. But just like I said you could also spend a whole week in hell and another whole week in heaven. And it could repeat.
LMAO JUST IMAGINE THE AWKWARDNESS WITH ADAM HAVING SUNGLASSES WAITING FOR YOU AS LUCIFER IS TEACHING YOU HOW TO CALL HIM IN CASE ADAM TRIES TO “abuse” you 😭😭
You’re literally eating nuggets in the hotel’s lobby until a busted down wall happens as a golden light shines. “Kid, pack ya shit. The shit lord didn’t bring you to me on time.” Says Adam with sunglasses and chewing bubble gum. Lucifer came from the kitchen having lemonade for you only to drop it seeing Adam. “What are YOU doing here!” He exclaims seeing the first man. Adam smirks, “I’m here to collect the bird brain. Duh?” “It’s literally only been 2 days?!” Lucifer retorts.
Yeahh…at first Adam had a problem being clingy towards you and wanting to stay in the blue skies with him.
Honestly it’s funny how Lucifer is the mom who wants to scam the father to make it seem he is abusive as Adam is just a guy trying to be the fun dad. It’s literally tug of war for your affection for crying out loud- 😭
“HAVE YOU SEEN SMILEY?” Is basically the song to describe your relationship between the two places of heaven and hell. It’s so painfully tooth aching and wholesome.
It’s nice spending time with your people in hell and heaven. Like literally it’s cool how you still got your delivery job in hell and heaven at most. Overall you are just happy seeing both of your so proclaimed friends and family. ‼️💗❤️🦆
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A/N: I did this because I couldn’t choose lol 💗 hope you guys like this as everyone gets their own happy ending
taglist: @zamadness @ilovelyneysm07 @listenerchan @equkki @ambersison-allejo @froggybich @hah-simp-acc-2 @aria-tempest @chefysawesomeideas @angela075905 @loyx2 @libraryraccoon @indom-eclipse @simpcreator @caffieneaddictt18
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janitorhutcherson · 6 months
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olderbfyandere!mike schmidt
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surprise, bitches!!! im giving yall a lil taste of some more writing. im not really on hiatus (obvi, i post every 5 minutes) but i've been sooooo busy that i haven't been able to post half as much. with that being said, here are some more in depth headcanons ab yandere!mike. :p could not have done this without @futturmand literally helping me (coming up w/) most of these. thank u bae.
warnings: drugging, violence, sex, daddy kink, abusive tendencies
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olderbfyandere!mike schmidt was kinda an asshole. to his coworkers, random customers at the mall, anybody who came too close to you, and yes, even sometimes to you. he was the kind of guy who had a semi-permanent grimace on his face. the corners of his mouth would turn into smiles typically only when he was with abby or you two were alone and he could let his guard down. of course, even then, the moment you caught an attitude, that grimace would appear right back on his face. his demeanor was typically gruff. he was the kind of guy most people didn't want to mess with. this meant any male coworkers around you would be tested their fate to even glance at you the wrong way and god forbid mike saw one of them brush something off of your shoulder. that would truly be the end of them.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is very obsessive over safety. after losing garrett, he has this urge to do nothing but to protect. this means that mike is the type of guy to want your location at all times. not only that, but he wants to know what you're doing, who you're with, and what time you'll be home. he expects a text when you leave, a text when you get there, an hourly check-in, then a text on your way home. it brings him a sense of peace, knowing where you are. he watches life360 obsessively when you're not in his sight, watching your little bubble move through wherever you may be. he's constantly checking the speed of the car you're in, occasionally stalking your friend's instagram stories to see where you are. he's overprotective to the extent that it can be overbearing, but at the end of the day it's endearing knowing he cares that much.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt uses the fact that you're younger than him to manipulate you. he's less about violence or anything physical and instead uses his words. he will constantly remind you how helpless you are without him, how he has so much more life experience than you. he'll point out randomly when you mention not knowing how to do something, saying something like, "see, babydoll, where would you be without me? that's right, nowhere. you need me to take care of you." he's also the kind of guy to eventually make you financially dependent on him if he could ever afford it. he would never put you in that spot until he was comfortable enough to do so, though, meaning it might be a loooong time before that ever happened.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt treats you less like a partner and more like a little sibling, kinda like he treats abby. as strange as it is, he also feels a paternal instinct to protect you. it comes from his deep-rooted feelings of abandonment. he lost garrett, his mom, his dad, and sometimes he feels like abby hates him. he loves that you listen to him, that he can command you to do something and you'd be so good for him. he absolutely adores being able to control different aspects of your life, making you completely reliant on him. it makes him feel special and needed, which he hasn't felt in a very long time. he loves nothing more than when he gets to scold you almost like a parent, your eyes falling to the ground, that adorable wounded puppy look he loves so much taking over your face.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt is incredibly clingy and touch starved. he wants to have a hand on you 24/7. forget having personal space, because you are not getting it with him. he'd follow you around, watching you everywhere you'd go. his hands would grip onto your hips so tightly sometimes it'd feel like they were glued to them. he'd always have his arms around you, kissing at your neck, nipping in a way you felt shouldn't be shown in public. mike didn't care, he wanted everyone to know you belonged to him in every single way. he controlled you, and if he wanted to embarrass you and turn your face red by leaving purple marks on your neck in the middle of a shopping plaza, then so be it. you would take it or be punished.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt who of course uses his sleeping pills on you when you're being a little brat. he isn't violent with you for the most part except for the rare occasion when he will hold you down onto the bed until you'll listen, but otherwise he opts for something simpler. when you're being a little too frustrating for him, going against his every command or you're not feeling like being held, mike will simply crush up his sleeping pills, slip them into your water. he's careful with you once you doze off, never abusing you in any way. all he will do is tuck you into your shared bed and hold your body in his arms, whispering sweet nothings as you're off in your own sweetly drugged up world.
olderbfyandere!mike schmidt would most definitely have a thing for being called daddy. sorry guys, it had to be said. hot take, i guess. considering he did want to protect you so thoroughly, he loved when you'd call him daddy. it made him feel like your protector, like you knew he was the one that did everything for you. it was so crazy how such a simple word could change his whole day. he loved hearing it fall out of your lips as he'd brush through your hair or wash your body off in the shower. "thank you, daddy," you'd hum and he'd grin ear to ear. "you're welcome, babydoll," he'd always say, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
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millerscoffee · 10 months
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reader lives in jackson and is friends with tommy, so she sees joel relatively frequently, and they just DONT get along. the reader is young and she’s got a sharp tongue and cheek that irritates the shit out of joel, who shoots back just as much condescending insults. they literally can’t be in a room without getting into it. however, the reader does it for his attention (she’s got daddy issues), and joel doesn’t catch onto this until she’s knocking on his door at midnight because she can’t sleep and she needs him and she doesn’t know how to admit it. he pulls her in the house and absolute filth ensues. he makes her blow him and then they fuck. joel is smug and condescending the whole time, and reader just becomes a ragdoll. Size kink, dirty talk, daddy kink, creampie/breeding, the works PLEASE
you got it, anon! ✨ this was requested on @atticrissfinch's page too, go check it out! i love how the same request can elicit two different stories. i did my best not to read it before i finished this (it was as difficult as it sounds cos HOO BOI 😅🥵♡)
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only daddy that'll walk the line
6.2k | joel miller x f!reader
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rating: 18+ MDNI
warning: big mean dom!joel™️ lmao, alcoholism (reader's dad, but also drunk!joel for a second - **this is not in the smutty scenes**), parental abuse (verbal, it is brief), smut, age difference (joel is 56, reader is 18-early 20s - your choice), size kink, dirty talk (joel's a talker more than his usual grunty self), name calling (bitch, brat, slut, etc.), light praise kink & like- two pet names, ✨ degrading language and acts ✨, edging, choking/gagging, hair pulling, creampie, breeding kink, daddy kink, spitting kink!!!, spanking, oral (m receiving), no prepping the reader, brat tamer!joel, bratty reader, if i missed anything lmk
summary: based in jackson, you have the unfortunate predicament of being friends with tommy miller and hating his brother, joel – and you have no problem in letting either of them know that! until one night you are brought to joel's doorstep.
A/N: this is my first request! thank you! huzzah!! hopefully it's to your liking, nonnie. he's big mean dom!joel™️ but with a conscience yknow?? enjoy ♡ i did proofread this, but i wrote it over the course of a couple weeks. i did my best! lol
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"Dude, what's his fucking problem!?"  You roll into the dining hall in a huff.  Shuffling to your seat for dinner, you slam your tray down and Maria gives you a combined look of worry and irritation at peace being compromised.
"Who, honey?"  Tommy asks, handing you a glass of water with an entertained grin because he's positive he knows just who you're talking about.
He'd seen the two of you go at each other's throats earlier in the day when you were trying to get by him on your way out the door.  His back was to you, and he all but ignored your request to get out of the way.  Causing you to shove past him, which ensued an argument between the two of you.  Which led you to both of you gunning each other with your words until you both left in a bad mood.
Joel had his back to you, his frame fully in the doorway as he spoke with a woman in town.  It started off slow: a few clearings of your throat, a slight nudge of his back.  No avail.
"Excuse me," you shouted, pushing at him again before he finally turned around quickly with his jaw ticked.
"Do you have any manners, Christ."  He said dry and muttered under his breath, but the lady made room for you and you nodded politely in her direction.
"Maybe if you weren't so fucking old, you could've heard me!"
"And watch your fuckin' mouth."
Joel turned his back to you, not giving you a moment to retort.  Conversation over. 
"This fucker," when you look up, you see Joel coming towards the table.  The sight of him gives you a set of shivers you can't explain.  Not complete disgust, but certainly not excitement.
"You really oughta keep better company," Joel tells his brother, sitting down beside him, he frames his entire body towards Tommy so he's sitting in a way to make you feel ignored.
"I'm right here, you know."  Your head is moving so you're in the line of his vision.
"Don't remind me.  Listen, this is a family dinner.  Go find your own."
A slap in the face would've hurt less.  Before Tommy or Maria had the chance to come to your defences – both of their mouths open ready to take up for you – you stood up, shoving your tray over to Joel.  So loud, other people turn their gaze to the four of you.
"Fuckin– eat up, then."
As you storm off to your house, you hear Tommy scold his older brother but you don't look back.
---
The next morning, your father wakes you up to the sound of his own yelling for you to come downstairs.  You'd been helping out Maria and Tommy to get your own place, or at least a shared one with people your age and to hear your dad's voice; whiskey-soaked and cruel, makes your stomach churn.
After slipping on your clothes for the day, you make it to the kitchen where he's sitting at the table and reeking from alcohol even from where you're standing.
"Didn't you hear me call you?"  His words were slurred and angry.
"Yes, I'm sorry."  It's such a difference from how you talk to other people, talk to Joel, for example.  Maybe because he's the last person you spoke to, but he's the first one who pops into your head during this interaction.  You sound meek, scared to say something wrong.  A stark difference from how you speak to Joel – abandoning all worries of punishment.  Almost like you wanted that from him.
"Fuckinbetterbe – hiccup – breakfast.  Now."  Your dad all but snaps his fingers and rage creeps up the back of your throat, biting your tongue so hard you break the surface layer.  A slight streak of blood coats your mouth, but you do as you're told.
This morning is kinder than others.  Your dad did not say thank you for the pancakes, you didn't get hit or debased too much.  You consider it a win.  Once you leave your house as soon as you can, Joel's chest hits your face as soon as you turn the corner.  The milliseconds seem long when you're met with the warmth and solidity of his chest, the scent of cedar and... whiskey?  It seemed too early, even for him, to be drinking and you shake off the unreasonable rationale that he should be treated differently than your father for the same behaviour.
You ignore the similarities of him and your father all together, actually.
"Watch where you're goin'," Joel's brows are knit together, which is normal for him, but you've never been this close to see his lips from this angle above you.  You almost say something out of the ordinary for the two of you, but you reel it in quickly.
"You're one to fuckin' talk.  Morning coffee smells a lot like alcohol.  Maybe I should tell Tommy about your habits."
"Does it ever hurt your head bein' a bitch all the time?"
"Not as bad as that hangover will be around noon.  Move."
You push past the large build in front of you with a clenched jaw, unable to be around him a second longer.  "Fuck you, Joel," you mutter for good measure on your way to Tommy and Maria's.
They'd given you safety on days when it seemed scarce, and showing up felt appropriate.  You were a little closer with Tommy than Maria.  He was able to listen to you without being too judgy, and you needed that.  The lack of safety piece was a lot like how your day started off.  You walk around to the back where Tommy's working on a new hobby and you sit in front of him, letting out a big sigh.
"Y'daddy givin' you trouble again?"
Typically when Tommy asks about your father he says it like this, but today it catches you off guard.  Confusion twists your mind, but you nod distractedly.  "Yea, he was drunk this morning.  Your brother, too."
You slide that one in fast.
Tommy fists through his hair, letting out a heavy exhale.  "Shit.  We both got trouble this mornin', I guess."
"Seems like it."
You're unusually quiet, looking at the ground more than anything.  It bugs you that Joel and your father have a similar quality to them.  That they both are up reaching for the bottle, but for Joel it's not a common occurrence and that makes you worried – an emotion you don't have for him that often, if you're being honest.  You don't think about his experiences that often.  But this is the first time, really, you've even seen Joel drunk like that.  You remember Tommy mentioning that he'd given up the stuff since Sarah's passing when everyone was around a fire one night sharing stories.
As if the dots connect in real time, you look over to Tommy who looks worried sick.
"He'll figure it out,"  you reassure, chewing the inside of your cheek before heading out.  You call behind you, "I'll be around."
You've never really been good at the whole 'being there for someone' thing.
~~
Later on, you find yourself in the mess hall again for the night's dinner and you catch Maria, Tommy, Joel, and Ellie all together and it feels weird to sit with them.  They're all laughing, Joel looks sobered up.  And it seems that Tommy didn't bring up the conversation the two of you shared.  They look like a happy family and twists a knot in your throat and the proverbial knife at your side.
"Can I please spend the night at Tommy and Maria's?  Please?"  Ellie is looking over at Joel with the sweetest expression, you snicker to yourself at how menacing she actually was.  It seemed to do the trick, though.  Joel's eyes flicker over to you, and it feels like you're being caught for something.  The look is inculpatory without you doing anything.  As if to say you are witnessing something too personal, a side of him not meant for you.  "Yeah, sure," his response to Ellie sounds distant.
This gives you no choice but to walk up to the scene, to sit down beside Maria.  She gives you a welcoming grin and makes space for you.  "What'd I miss?"  You look over to Ellie who's excited to see you, but Joel?  Not so much.  His eyebrows narrow down his face, suddenly more quiet than usual, even for him.  You set your sights back on Ellie who's telling you all of the cool things she's gonna do at her Uncle Tommy's and you flash a smile that lets her know you're listening.  Or at least trying.  It's hard when Joel isn't even initiating the usual conflict with each other.  More arguing than speaking.  And the fact it wasn't happening was off.
"That sounds like a blast...," you trail off, your chin in your hands.
"If you're not gonna listen to her, don't ask her questions."  Joel barks, eyes now solemnly black in your direction.  It makes you scared and delighted at once.  Like he was back to normal.  Your normal.
"I was listening to her?"  You retort, and everyone's quiet now.  Awkwardness filling the air as the two of you battle it out.  "Maybe if you weren't so drunk all the time you'd know the differen–"  "Hey, now."  Tommy chimes in, giving you a stern look of disapproval and you feel bad.  Reflective.  Joel wasn't drunk all the time, and you knew exactly why he was this morning.
You exhale, "I'm sorry," you nod in the direction of everyone but Joel and stand up from your seat, "enjoy your family time."
On your way back to your house, you catch a glimpse of a group of people your age.  People you'd grown up with, but they didn't acknowledge you and it digs the wound closer in.  You truly felt alone.  Like nothing fit, and maybe you didn't belong in Jackson but it wasn't like there were many choices to go to.
---
More times than not you sneak into your room.  Not because you are past a type of curfew, you were an adult.  It was more, you didn't want your dad to know you were around.  Your door was locked when you climbed in through the window.
You got comfortable, spilling out of your clothes for the day and into your pajamas.  Cotton shorts and a loose tee.  Your breasts perky and nipples taut from the worn fabric.  A lot of the day was spent dealing with heavy subjects that you just wanted to let your mind escape.
Staring at the ceiling in your bed, your eyes become blurry in need of sleep.  Needing release.  Anything.
Your mind wanders to why Joel was so quiet with you when you sat down.  It wasn't like that was the first time the two of you had a shouting match in front of everyone, but this felt different.  You deduce it to Joel having an off day and let your mind wander somewhere else.
Or, at least you try.
Because when your hands explore your body under the blankets, Joel comes back to life in your thoughts.  You come back to the warmth of his chest when you ran into him this morning, the grunt that left him from impact.  What that would sound like against your ear.  Before you know it, you're shifting your thighs together, spreading the mess of your cunt.  A craving ignites your bloodstream.
It's slick between your legs when you sit up, and you're full of determination unbeknownst of where it's coming from.  The act itself is a little heady, but you have nothing to lose so why not?
Slipping on a pair of shoes and a jacket that covers your clothes, you turn your back to the window and scurry down until you're able to jump off onto the grass.  One step close to where you want to be.
Joel's house is across the street which makes it easy to get to, but aggravating when you want a sense of peace.  He's always around, shooting you a menacing stare when you're not down each other's throats but there's an ache you can't deny.  A compulsion.
You knock on his door twice before he swings it open almost like he saw you approach, but he doesn't tug you inside like you thought he was.  Doesn't make you get on your knees or fulfill any fantasy of being used.  Of... making him proud.
"What?"  His question is dry and a part of you is crushed. He isn't taking advantage of the way your legs look in your shorts right away.
"You're not the only one who had a bad fucking day," you start, but he doesn't give you a moment to push through the door because before you know it you're being pulled inside.  The sound of a slamming door somewhere behind you.  You're forced to look at him with his paw wrapped around your jaw, thumb tilting your chin up effortlessly.  It locks you in place.
"You came here.  Why?  Y'want me to fuck your bad day away?"
You gape is panicked, eyes wide now in this compromising position.  You can't think, you can't nod or say words.  You just stare.
"She's real fuckin' quiet now," Joel shoves you against the closed door, not letting an inch of space be wasted and he takes your wrist with his free hand, palming you over his hardening cock in his jeans.  "How about now.  You payin' close attention?"
You whimper, nodding softly as your fingers massage and rub, tug at anything you can through the fabric.
"Did I tell you y'could do that?"  His words make you pause, shivering at how truly empty your mind is in the moment.  Even in your inexperience you don't know you've ever felt so instantly timid.  Joel makes you fold at the first hint of misbehaviour.  You can't think of a thing to say.  Halfway don't know why you're here in the first place, and he's got you so wet from this it almost hurts.  Stickiness coats your thighs as you squeeze your legs together and you're sure it will be obvious even through your cotton shorts.
You shake your head, and he's sick of you not speaking to him.  Squeezes your face tighter, "Use your fucking words."
"No... no you didn't," you manage and you've never heard yourself sound so pathetic.
"I didn't, that's right.  You answer to me."  The snapping sound of his words causes your eyes to roll in annoyance.  He doesn't own you, he never fucking could.  The action makes his jaw tighten, his hand from your jaw in a grip that didn't hurt now is wrapped around your throat and although it's not tight, it certainly isn't loose.  "What the fuck was that?"
You're back to being silent, unable to do anything but take.
"Not asking again."
"I rolled my ey–"
"You rolled your eyes.  Roll your fuckin' eyes at me again, little girl.  You'll regret it."
A cool threat, you think.  Meaningless, even.  What possible reproach would he have anyway?
It's then you take in the house.  You'd been here once before to stay with Ellie.  It's dark, a single lamp upstairs.  All of this is background noise to the drone of your need prickling your youthful skin.  It's apparent, your age difference, when you're this close.  His rough fingers, wrinkles catching the moonlight peeking in through the windows.
"I–I'm sorry," you've been saying that a lot lately.
"Don't apologise to me.  Don't say sorry when I know you're not."  His thumb moves from your chin to your lips, thumbing over just how pliable and soft they are and it sends your nerves to the surface.  Prying your lips apart, he presses inside and you willingly wrap your lips around it to lap the pad of his digit.  "Look at that sweet thing," he says, more at you than to you, and your neck flushes being this willing to suck for him, "so easy for me to use.  I put my thumb to y'er lips and you just took it right in, didn't ya?"  The taste of his skin robs you of any other sense, his tone making you all but fold.
"Show me what this mouth is good for, 'cuz it sure ain't good at a sincere apology."
Before you know it, you're on your knees.  Joel is kind enough that he ushers you down onto the hardwood floor and you can't believe you're face to face with his crotch in front of his door, no less.
"You couldn't wait to take me to your bedroom?"
Joel doesn't reply straight away.  Instead you hear the clanking of metal, a zipper coming undone, and the slap of his cock hitting his abdomen on the way out of his pants.  You take mental note that he hasn't been asleep by his attire, but it's all for nothing when your eyes make out the shapes in the dim light.  You choke when you see just how big he is.
He tuts, leaning his head condescendingly as he takes a chunk of your hair in his palm to tilt your chin up to greet his cock.  "Aw, you think you're goin' t'my room?"  The words make you feel naïve, the one or two times you've done something like this didn't have nearly as much... compromise.  And you certainly didn't hook up with someone twice your age.  You don't have time to be self-conscious because the head of him, the leaky head of him, is tapping against your lips and your eyes roll back as you open your mouth for him.  After jumping slightly in surprise, of course.
He sighs in relief with a deigned smile, pushing his hips further.  "Fuck.  You hear that?  Nothing!  Sounds so fuckin' good, shuttin' you up."
But it's not entirely nothing, is it?  Not with your gagging, slurping up what you can but you don't know what you're doing all the way and fumbling through half of it.  Doesn't seem to faze him much.
It's obscene as it feels, him using you like this – and you don't feel an ounce of guilt when it's exactly what you want.  The switch flips on why you came to his door in the first place.  His big thumb swipes over the corner of your full mouth, "You like that, dontcha, filthy thing?"
And you hated how right he was.  You wanted to scream, kick him.  Retaliate in a way so you could still be in this submission at the same time.
Your mouth was full by the earthy taste of him, obliterating whatever feelings you had about the day.  A bad mood that he had contributions in, but it's melting from the constant thrust of his hips.  And he's keeping your head locked in place, hand gripped in the strands so you can feel your spit mingling with the underside of his cock.  Honestly, every part of his dick is covered in your spit.  It spills down your chin, threatens up your nose when you gag, leaves your eyes to water when you look up at him in a dire need to breathe fully, but he's not done with you.
Not until the loudest, lewdest pop from your mouth you've ever heard does Joel break contact completely.  Steps back until you're being observed in a patronising way.  Your gone expression.  All saliva and tears and his precum smeared over your mouth.  You can barely bring yourself to look up, but his demands seem to do the trick.
Snapping his fingers at you to get your attention, you swallow hard.  "Nuh uh.  You're not gonna get all soft on me, girl.  Wake the fuck up."
Which would be simple if he wasn't practically dragging you by your hair, making you crawl on your hands and knees until you're on your feet and you're shoved onto his couch.
All that and you're still dressed.
"Off," he's barking commands like you're a trainable being and if you were in any other state, you may reconsider this whole ordeal, but when he pushed you onto the couch your legs spread just enough for him to see the wetness smearing the cotton at the apex of your thighs and that amuses him. "not good at hidin' how much of a slut y'are."
"You think it's just you that does this to me?" You find your voice again, hoisting yourself up to sit on his couch as his cock – thick and proud – sways against the fabric caught between it.  Your tongue presses to your cheek when you make eye contact, "You're kidding yourself."
The venom drips so fluidly from your tongue, Joel doesn't make a sound.  Just peels off his clothes until he's standing there naked in his house, giving you living proof that you are kidding yourself.
The silence speaks for itself.  He is pure smug under the sight of your drooling gaze.
"It's real cute that you think y'got control over the situation n'all," the weight shifting on this couch from the cushion shaping around his knee.  Joel sits down, taking you by the scalp again to cloak you over his lap stomach-first, and you yelp in surprise when he does all of this and tugs your shorts down in one fell swoop.
With your hair in his fist, his other hand ghosts over your ass in effort to make sure you squirm for him before administering a devilishly loud spank to your ass.  "But somebody better teach you better manners.  Sure as shit itn’t your father."
You crack out a sob at that– from the contact and the truth.  You couldn't retort, you were too busy getting slap after slap against your increasingly worn ass to think about anything else.  "Lucky I ain't making y'count.  You'd have this for eternity now."
Not that it mattered anyway.  He's leaving mark after mark of his large handprint across your cheeks, probably ten more if you could even focus on anything else but finding the words to stop him.
"Please– y-you're right," tears stain your face as you bury your face in your arms.  Flinching when Joel moves, you expect another searing punishment, but instead he pulls your ass apart and you gasp at the cool air striking your cunt that's hot and wet for him.  "Joel!"
“Dirty fuckin’ girl, wet from gettin’ punished.  I talked so bad about you, and you liked it?  You’re as desperate as I thought.  Only good for gettin’ my cock wet.”  And it’s like a lever is pulled when your slutty little smile plasters over your face with him out of view.  Not that you had much time to gloat, or to experience the pleasure of living in your own fantasy because Joel’s got you pulled again.  His thick thighs spread apart when he maneuvers you so willingly to sit between his legs.  Right where he wants you.  Right where you can feel the throbbing pulse at your folds.  He tells you to take off the rest of your clothes and you would be a fool to do otherwise.
“Bad girls don’t get the luxury of bein’ opened,” that Texan drawl slips over your ear when he holds the base of his cock, slicking himself through your folds, you gasp and wriggle against him – his grip tightening harder.  Silently warning you if you make another move it’s over, you’re done.  It’s over.  All the while the searing stretch of him causes your cunt to flutter and clench around him.  It’s too much, too overwhelming, and he won’t let you adjust long enough.  “You’ll get over it,” but it’s not reassuring.  He still sounds in control despite his laboured breathing and when he can, he moves his hands to grip your hips and guide you down on him.  You scream, a knee jerk response wriggle away from him, but this position doesn’t quite allow for that.
“Be a good girl.”
That folds you, quite literally, as he moves his hips down to pound up into yours, using you like his own toy to get himself off with.  And it’s just the incredible sounds of your squelching cunt and his balls tapping against your folds.  The fucking isn’t frantic, but it certainly isn’t soft.  He’s rough with you, a hand traveling up your back to grip your hair so your neck is back in place and he lifts you upright so your back is curved, neck craned so if you tried, you could make him out – upside down.  “Poor thing couldn’t help it, had to get a daddy to take care of her.  You want that, kitten?  Wanna be used and as daddy’s little fucktoy – only good for makin’ me cum?”  his hand sneaks around to the front of you with his free hand, he presses and digs into your pubic bone to make you feel exactly where he is.  “Put a baby right here.  Make everyone know what you fuckin’ did.”
You whine, eyes rolling back at the thought.  It was so obscene, nothing like you’d ever even heard of before.  Where did he fucking learn how to talk like this?  Your brain is swimming while your sticky sweetness coats his lap, clawing at his thighs for any sort of stability, but it was dizzying how he had you.  How his grunts filled the air in between slaps like he had your hips placed at the perfect angle for him to work you.
“You’d like that wouldn’t you?”  His gritting teeth by the shell of your ear, he keeps you secure within your hair to snake his arm around the front of you tugging and rolling at the sensitive nubs of your nipples.  When he feels you appear to drift off, those rough hands supply another smack, but to your tits this time, your fingernails clawing into his thighs involuntarily as you squeal in surprise.  You tighten at that, fluttering around his cock and you feel it at the edge.  So close you can almost taste it.
But he knows you’re close, too, and there’s no way in hell he’s giving that to you.  Not when you’ve barged into his house like this, not when you’ve done nothing but be an insufferable brat to him since the moment he came to Jackson.
Joel hovers you over his lap, and your heels dig into the floorboard.  His hips still, keeping the very tip of his cock inside of you – you feel panic flash over your body.  “No,” it’s the first word you’ve uttered in god knows how long and it sounds desperate.  Any hope of getting an orgasm swirls down the drain, and it’s set in stone when he pushes you on your back – the lumpy couch digging into your skin.  “No, no, please.  Why!”
His eyes could burn a hole through you.  Like a hungry dog, his body hovers – shoulders stooped, head down when he pours his gaze into you.  And he likes what he sees.  Legs open and begging, willing to do anything to get him back into you.  Your cunt glistening, even in the dull light and he can tell it’s pulsing.  “Poor thing’s clampin’ around nothin’,” he teases, grunting when his knees meet the couch cushions – another tell of his age.  But you, you’re too preoccupied in taming the ache between your legs to comment.  It burns, coming back to a fixed state you realise how stretched out you were and it’s more than overwhelming.  To know you haven’t been used to completion, all hope draining from your face.
“Joel,” your breath is shaky underneath him, pupils blown and wet when you make out his features, “Joel, please.  Please, I want this.”
“Darlin’, I know you want it.  Everybody in town knows you want it,” his words make you sob a whine as they approach closer to your neck, the delicate graze of his beard dances at your pulsepoint and you shudder.  Hips raise and he’s quick to slam them back down into place.  “If you want me, ‘Joel’ ain’t whatchu say to get me.”
And if you felt hopeless before, you really do now.  Unable to do anything but debase yourself for your own pleasure.  You’d heard it earlier, the way he referred to himself with a name that brought up mixed feelings at Tommy’s.  You swallow down embarrassment, looking him in the eyes – which were faded obsidian, your fingernails dig into your own thighs as if to brace for what’s tempting to slip out of your throat.
You hated that he made you nervous.
And you hated the hold he had over you.
But he had it, there was no doubt about it.  He had it.  He had you.
Your jaw ticks forward, fully aware of your clit screaming for attention and exhale shakily.  “Please, daddy.  Please, I want this.”
“Eh,” Joel muses, shaking his head, “I don’t believe ya.  Really gotta hear the desperation in your voice.  Maybe if I,” his hand reaches for his cock, slapping the sloppy head of it against your folds and that– that sends you.  Takes you to a different destination entirely because for the first time all night there’s attention to that bundle of nerves, and he knows it.  He knows you need this in order to give everything over to him in full.  “Daddy!” you screech, pelvis jutting up in full inclination and without a single word, Joel’s cock spears into you all the way to the hilt.  All the way to your cervix.
His hands, emitting heat and wrapped largely around your hips, locks you where he wants you like some animal in heat.  It forces you to bring your legs up into a position you aren’t sure you’ve ever been in – thighs against your stomach, by your sides.  It’s so, “deep,” you whimper, head rocking as your mouth flies open and he’s delivering you thrust after thrust of pleasure so wrecking no noise comes from you.
“Is that what you needed? Fuckin' brat,”  Joel is still able to tease, but even he isn’t immune to how tight you are around him.  Your fluttering core begging for release as it moves in and out around him – as if it’s doing its own begging.  “You wanna be filled up to the brim with my cum, babygirl?  Needy fucking cunt like you only good for matin’ like this.”  Your skin burns at his words, your body convulsing as you do your best to keep it together.
That’s when Joel’s hand wraps around your throat, a line of spit falling into your mouth and you willingly drink from him.  “You hold off, you ain’t gettin’ it tonight,” you pout for a moment, not fully understanding what he means by that, but he clarifies when his hips get sharper, more precise.  As if his cock is hooked inside of you, not letting a drip of precum spill out of you against your cervix.  “Y’ain’t cummin’, but I am.”
His grip around your throat gets harder, and you swear you can see every vein in his face rise to the surface when he uses you.  You’re limp, all thoughts washed away – his cock thick and long, you aren’t even sure how he fits it all inside of you but he does.  The edge of your stomach bulges as he works you, his neck cranes back to expose his neck and it’s too much to take. For both of you.  His hot cum ropes cords inside of you, sticking to your walls.  Filling you up is an understatement with how much he has to give you.  It’s as if you can discern the moment his seed grazes your cervix in its sticky texture.  Your head is swimming at the sound of your animalistic grunts, he looks so… fucking hot like this.  His name is replaced with ‘daddy’ more easily than you care to admit.  You do try not to chase your orgasm… a part of you does, anyway.
But you’re defiant.
You can take yourself there without him telling you to, and in fact the opportunity to disobey him is just what you need to send yourself creaming all over his cock.  You gasp, eyes wide before they roll back and you’re fucking yourself on his spent cock that somehow still has life to it.  Even for his age, he can still keep it hard for you after his seed coats your insides.  “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” becomes part of your breath, and you’re shocked he doesn’t pull out of you even though his hips are still.  You don’t notice it until you come down considering you’re using him.  Did he say you could do that?  As if you’re woken up by an alarm, you jerk at the sensation of the orgasm you snuck.  Without his permission.  You look up, and his knuckles are bleached around your hips.  He looks so menacing like this, scary.  You shake your head, swallowing hard in your attempt to fix things.
But it’s too late for you.  You’re a brat at the end of the day, and he has to train you.  Make you realise the error of your ways.
His cock is still buried deep when his middle finger plays where the two of you connect.  A whine escapes you, shivering now, not quite sure what he’s going to do.  He’s lethally quiet, you aren’t sure how to react.  He’s contemplating what to do to you, he’s not met someone who’s as menacing as he is.  As unwilling to give away freedom.  Not since… his nostrils flare as he inhales.
“I told you not to do that,” Joel stating the obvious makes you clear your throat, his cock twitching inside you in the aftershocks sends your teeth to bite down on your lip and you shake your head, “I c- I couldn’t help it!” You lie, and he knows it.  Compels him to prod that middle finger just above his cock inside you and the stretch is too much.  When you reach out for his forearm, his other hand darkens over your wrist, pinning it back in a way that hurts.  You wince in tandem with it and his monstrous hook of the digit inside you.  You’re so full, “It’s too-it’s too much!” you tap at anything you can, but he’s not listening.
Instead, the pad of his finger has no problem in touching that spongy bit inside of you – especially since your cunt is stretched from his cock and he can see it.  His cum tempts to pool out of you, but he shoves it back in, working his finger inside you repeatedly but he’s just rubbing.  He’s just rolling his finger against your g-spot until you feel so overstimulated it brings more pain than pleasure.  “Came like you knew what you were doin’,” he finally remarks, thumb rolling over your clit and you can’t take it.  “Please, pl– it’s too much!  Daddy!”  That rhythm is sly, though, in making you come undone.  Again and again.  As you’re on the peak of what would be an explosive orgasm, Joel pulls out of you entirely.  His cock, his finger.  His warmth is a distant memory when he stands up, palming over his cock.  How did he get hard again?!  He would deal with that on his own time.
Your moan is choked out, thighs pressing together for any sort of… something.  A release, a grind.  You’re left panting and begging, your tits perky and heaving for him.
“What did I say, little girl?”  He climbs into his clothes, one button up at a time with his flannel.  “You won’t be cumming for a week with that fuckin’ attitude.”
You’re so lost in chasing a feeling, soon to disappear as it could arrive that all you can do is whimper and nod.  “I’m so–” his hand grips your jaw, forcing you to look up at him.  Spit covers your face, and you hum like a kitten at the feeling of his hot saliva down your cheek, “What did I fucking say about apologisin’ when you’re not sorry?”
You wipe your face, sucking the spit off your thumb with a satisfied smirk.  “Fuckin’ loved it, daddy.”
He swallows then, his head shaking in disbelief over how much of a filthy bitch you are.  “Yeah, yeah you fuckin’ did.  Belong to me now, you understand?  Gonna let everybody know what a slut you are for this cock.”
And you would be lying if you didn’t experience a swell of pride in those words.  You’d be down each other’s throats again in no time, but the look of ownership that adorns his face over you is too much not to bask in.
“A week?”  You study him, eyes wet and round, look up at him and you see his cheek twitch in response.
“Gonna be two if you keep it up.”
You let out a faint sigh, resting your head back on the armrest.  “Yes, daddy.”
“Good girl,” he coos, leaning down to press his lips at the shell of your ear.  Fingers tucking his cum back in your hole.  He relishes in how hot you feel under his fingers.
“Now get the fuck out of my house.”
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tripleyeeet · 9 months
Text
PAINFUL VULNERABILITIES (5)
SUMMARY: When your past begins to blend into your present, you find yourself longing for Astarion's comfort.
PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader
WORD COUNT: 3,648
WARNINGS: ANGST, hurt/comfort, body horror elements, descriptions of torture involving a knife, panic attack, sort of made up Illithid lore??? (I promise there's comfort in the end, I'm sorry!)
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Day 5 literally doesn't have a prompt because this idea got terribly out of hand so let's just ignore that and enjoy the angst, shall we?
(Also again, a lot of people's tags weren't working so next time if you haven't fixed it I will be taking you off the list because taglists are a bitch!)
CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER
-
The nightmares start a few days later.
At first, they’re subtle. Wisps of darkness cloud your thoughts, leaving no memory behind. Silently it lingers, creeping through your skull in waves that inevitably crash against the shore, ripping you awake —leaving you breathless each time you’re left gasping for air in your dishevelled bedroll. When it happens, it always makes you jolt up to look around, trying to find the cause of your plague. The reason why you’re suddenly so wary to lay your head each night.
When you reach the Underdark they only get worse. 
What were once forgotten memories become recurring torments. Endless onslaughts of clawed hands that scratch at your flesh, pulling back skin in massive chunks that pluck excitedly at your insides. 
Thanks to the powers of the Illithid you feel every movement. Every poke and prod slips through you like a knife, cutting you down piece by piece until you’re nothing but a shell. An empty carcass of bone that’ll inevitably be harvested for a purpose far greater than yourself.
Or so she says. As you lie there, writhing in pain, blinking to shield the teeth that bear witness to your torture, you hear her whisper cool and quiet, telling you of your death. Of your fated downfall, and then of your— 
You always wake up before she finishes.
Before you can hear her utter the words you’ve heard a thousand times. Feeling the burn of your lungs, you stretch your fingers across your chest in remembrance, breathing in and out as the skin beneath your digits runs hot and you’re forced to forget the experience all over again.
When you reach camp that night, sore from the seemingly never-ending mushroom forage, you find yourself dreading the prospect of such sleep. Even through the exhaustion, the last thing you want to do is rest your head lest she arrives tonight, so you fight the urge, settling in against the edge of the fire. 
“You look tired.” 
You turn to look at Gale with half-closed eyes, offering him the softest grin you can muster before turning toward the flames. They seem brighter than usual. A decorative flash of warm-toned hues that make you blink and rub your eyes, somehow feeling even more languid. 
“Mushroom hunting take it out of you?”
You hum, making no move to look his way as you pull your knees to your chest, curling in on yourself for comfort. 
As much as you’ve grown to like Gale’s company, all you want right now is silence. A moment of peace where you can just stare into the fire and let your eyes burn from something other than the lack of sleep. Especially after spending the day alongside Lae’zel and Shadowheart as some poorly trained mediator. Just the thought of opening your mouth to speak feels like a threat to your vocal cords. The prospect of speech too much to handle, even as Gale begins to fill you in on his and Wyll’s misadventures with a nearby myconid colony.
“They’re truly such interesting creatures. Did you know…”
His voice falls on deaf ears, earning you nothing but a confused sigh once he realizes you’re not listening. Mostly because it’s not normal for you to just blatantly ignore your peers. 
“Are you alright? Need anything? Perhaps a drink or a—“
You’re standing upright before he can even finish his sentence, brushing the ass of your leathers before walking away, paying no mind to the curious wizard as he looks around the camp, catching the eye of Wyll who merely shrugs. 
It’s not like you to leave. To ignore a friend mid-conversation but your voice is gone. Lost to the void of constant intercession and a brewing anxiety that sits in your chest. As you walk towards your tent you can feel it shifting. Starting at your gut, everything twists to form a sickly sting. A stabbing pain that throbs within your abdomen, threatening to grow as you part the fabric and crawl inside, plopping into bed face first.
Despite your better judgement, you let out a low groan you’re sure at least someone hears causing you to frown, knowing that you’re better than this. Better than neglecting your health because of some silly nightmares. Better than letting the fear of your past get the better of you. Better than brooding about it. 
Turning to lie on your back, you palm the sockets of your eyes in frustration, letting your mind wander. Allowing yourself to feel everything you’ve been suppressing over the last twelve or so hours.
Aside from exhaustion, it’s mostly Astarion that surfaces. His face in the darkness looking at you as you left camp that morning, barely awake enough to give him a nod. In an instant it was as if he was there and gone, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place before shifting out of view alongside an overly excited Karlach. It was the kind of look that made you question its intentions. Its knitted brows and pursed lips rising and falling through your memories between the scuffles of your two companions. 
As you walked along the edges of the Underdark’s cliff sides, you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it represented. What emotion it was trying to convey in such a small amount of time before it disappeared completely? 
As you lie there now, once again imagining its form you feel it’s something bordering on pity. A showcase of solidarity in your obviously failing quest for sleep. 
Astarion may not say much about your struggles —unlike him, you don’t complain about the endless problems that you face on the road— but you know he’s still aware of them. He’s too perceptive not to be. 
So why hasn’t he said anything? 
A heavy breath escapes. A shaky one damaged by speculation. Ruined by the assumption that it’s because he doesn’t care. That perhaps you aren’t worth the trouble of a little bit of worry despite previous actions.
You may have killed for him —had his back long before anyone else, but have such feelings ever been reciprocated? Has your worth been proven now that you’ve slain a man in his honour? And if so, how much worth do you truly hold? Is it substantial enough to ask you how you are? Big enough to look at you with any semblance of fondness? Or is it all just for show?
There’s a part of you that hopes it is. That the moments filled with kindness are nothing more than lies told to keep your attention. If he were lying, it wouldn’t necessarily make the way you feel right now any better but it’d mean that there’s an end. A barrier to stop you from getting in too deep. An excuse you could use to explain the naivety of thinking he may care.
Because it wavers —his care. Some days it’s obvious, sometimes it’s not. You can never guess when the care will appear, only that when it’s there and eventually dissipates you’ll be left alone again, wondering why he puts the extra effort in at all. Why he reels you in only to let you go, forcing you to question his intentions as you watch with careful eyes for those moments of reassurance. Moments that you can never prepare for. Ones that gnaw at your heart with pointed teeth wrapped beneath hungry lips, starving for the truth. 
You’re not too sure you’re ready to take that leap yet. To push him for the answers you know he’ll just avoid. He’s never been quick to trust and even when he does allow you in there’s still a blockage of sorts. An obvious resistance that sits between you, forcing you to settle regardless of the fear you hold inside your chest, wondering what would happen if you tried to push. 
You assume it’d ruin you. That, more than likely, pushing too hard would only create an even deeper wedge, making the truth that much more unattainable, leaving you with less than what you started with. 
Shooting upwards, you groan again and breathe, resting your face against your open palms in irritation. 
All you want to do is sleep, knowing the only reason you’re thinking so much is because you’re avoiding it. If you think you can’t drift which means the nightmares can’t come, leaving you with two bad endpoints you know you have to choose between.
It makes you want to scream just thinking about it but instead of giving in to such desires you merely settle back down, pulling the fabric of your bedroll up to your shoulders before closing your eyes. 
You’re going to get some sleep whether or not it kills you. Whether or not you have to endure the pain of a thousand deaths all at once before you’re inevitably woken up in a stupor of suffering.
It doesn’t take long for you to drift. One minute you’re lying there, counting your breaths like sheep and the next you’re out, filtering through a darkness that feels all too familiar. At first, it’s just there, coating your skin in nothingness. Lost to the void of slumber, you’re at peace for the first time in forever but as expected eventually the shadows unfold. Part to reveal a body of pale skin wrapped around viscous veins full of the blood of many. 
It beckons you almost immediately. The flutter of that icy voice saying your name over and over until you come to call, allowing yourself to move. Letting your feet guide you to her presence, you feel the waves and how they threaten to spill over as you kneel before her, feeling her grab your throat. 
Her fingers twitch and curl but never grip as she leans forward, offering you a grin. “You’ve been avoidant.”
You don’t speak. For a moment your lips part, feeling the presence of her thumb glide across the base of your throat but you don’t dare speak.
“You know it’s coming, my dear. You can’t avoid it.”
Your tongue moves to wet your lips while you blink, trying your best to let the visions of her angular face blur into the night that surrounds you, realizing she looks just as you remember her. All papery and washed out —a mere shell of herself now that you’ve gone missing. Her features drying out with each passing day you find yourself separate. 
“Come back to me. Let me protect you.”
You swallow hard and turn your head, feeling the nails of her fingers dig into your neck prompting you to cry out. 
She doesn’t let you do much else. Quickly moving on from the one-sided conversation to grab her knife, you watch as she mumbles under her breath, turning the blade between her fingers with a grin. “In untimely death comes timely renewal, remember?” she says, letting it ghost across your bare chest, pushing the edge against it until it breaks the skin. 
You barely feel the first insertion. As the blade dips through the layers of your flesh, the only thing you feel is her breath. The pattern of air that puffs against your face as she recites those aforementioned words, taunting you as she pulls it down. 
In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal…
As the knife moves lower, you repeat the words in unison like a mantra, struggling to get them out through gritted teeth as she works to cut you open. To slice your torso from the sternum down revealing countlessly re-healed bones and slimy organs that lie in waiting for her to pluck.
Hovering above you, her hands move to survey such handiwork, her fingers stroking the edges of your open skin before they inevitably dive right in, ripping you awake. 
You feel the pressure of her inside your gut before it really hits that it’s done. Shooting upward, you cough and double over in an instant, pressing your hands shakily to the ground in front of you. 
It’s the worst dream you’ve had yet. Longer than all the others, you can feel the adrenaline of it all penetrating your thoughts. Overthrowing every single anxiety you’ve ever felt as you sniff back tears, pushing yourself towards the entrance of your tent. 
Pulling it open, you look around the camp in desperation, catching the eye of Wyll who raises his brow, watching as you shake your head, slipping further into the ground.
Before you can even think he’s on you, reaching for your shoulders, asking you what’s wrong and how he can help. In response, you make no effort to reach back. To remedy your pain as you continue to shake and cry, sobbing out the cursed mantra through heavy gasps that leave him panicking. 
“Guys! Something’s wrong!”
As he calls out to the rest of the group, you quickly find yourself surrounded by familiar faces. All of them looking down to see your hysteria unfold. 
“What happened?” Dropping to her knees, Shadowheart’s the first to your side, moving her hands to cup your face before you swat her away, mouthing the words over and over and over again. 
“I don’t know!” 
“You don’t know?”
The two of them continue to bicker. As Wyll explains the way you crawled out of your tent, mumbling something about death, you force yourself to shuffle back, maneuvering your body so that you’re half sitting inside your tent again, watching it all unfold. Focusing on the confusion as Lae’zel and Karlach stand in the wings, muttering to each other words you can’t quite hear while Gale stares down at your mouth, watching the words you speak only to yourself as your eyes start to dart around. 
Surveying the rest of the camp, you wipe away your tears and try to breathe, forcing your mouth to stop its repetitions once you remember the ache inside your chest. 
Because of the Illithid, you can still feel her handiwork. Beneath your sweaty tunic, you can sense its edges burning —stinging from the aftermath as you press a hand to your sternum, making sure you’re still intact. Making sure your organs aren’t on display as you catch sight of Astarion coming up the path. 
He’s nose deep in a book when you see him, scanning the pages with interest before his eyes inevitably raise to see your nervous frame, curling into your tent. Then his interest fades. Evaporating into thin air before it’s replaced with fear. Genuine, heartbreaking fear that has him moving so quickly he fades out of view before reappearing in front of you. 
“What happened?” 
Just like Shadowheart, his hands cup your cheeks, gripping the plush as he lowers himself down, moving his forehead to yours. 
Unlike before you make no effort to push him away. Instead, all you do is frown and try to suppress the tears, clawing at his shirt with desperate pleas, begging him to stay. Begging him to tell you that everything’s going to be okay. Begging for him to lie and say he’ll protect you just like you did for him. 
Using your tadpole you beg him over and over again, letting the tears silently fall from your face, not caring that the whole party is watching.
All you need is him. In falseness or in truth, you don’t care. You just need him to ground you. To call you darling and to make you laugh. To make you feel like you’re something more than a vessel of organs one day destined for harvest. 
As your chest begins to heave, letting all the nightmares unfold all over again, you feel the tadpole behind your eye squirm in response, asking you to let him in. Without hesitation, you close your eyes and swallow hard, feeling his thoughts start to overthrow the visions of her and her knives and the mantra that sticks haphazardly across your brain matter.
I’m here, you’re safe.
For once it feels like a promise. A silent vow meant only for you as he ushers you further into the tent, saying something to your peers before closing it up. After that he readjusts the bedroll with gentle hands, always keeping a single palm against the small of your back, even when he guides you to lie against his chest. 
It’s the first time in weeks that you’ve felt safe. Resting a cheek just below his collarbone, you can feel your breath begin to return to its normal state. No longer ravaged by the panic of your dreams, it moves in and out, fanning the fabric of his shirt. 
“Was it a nightmare?”
You nod. Unsure how to explain it because, while it is a nightmare, it somehow feels so much more. 
“Of the past or?”
“Sort of.” 
He hums curiously, glancing down to see your hand slide up his chest to grip his shirt. 
“It feels like I’m answering a call.”
“A call?”
“Like there’s a person trying to reach me and when I answer I can… I can feel them.”
“Feel them?” 
You can tell he doesn’t quite understand. Not that you blame him for it. The whole concept of these nightmares still vexs even yourself. Leave you stumbling in confusion each night you find yourself awake, struggling to remember what’s real and what’s not. 
The nightmares are not as easily explainable as the actual torture you’ve endured. Especially considering that up until now there had been periods where the memories had died. Days where her face was nothing more than a splotch of white against a backdrop of black, slowly fading away. 
It doesn’t make sense why they're suddenly returning. Why your mind is forcing you to relieve these memories night after night. 
“Does your tadpole make it hard for you to dream?”
There's no hesitation when he says yes. No moment thought before his answer, making you wonder if maybe he too is experiencing these dreams. 
“I feel like it amplifies everything.”
Looking up to gauge his response, you can see the worry clouding his eyes. How his expression sort of fades into the abyss as his eyes focus on yours. 
“I dream of the past a lot. Of my life before this and… and I can feel it. Everything that ever happened I can feel all over again and it’s—“
“Painful.” His voice is broken. A crack in the mirror, shattering the often joyous image of his face as he looks away, blinking. 
Without even processing your movements you prop yourself up on your elbow, reaching over to grab his cheek and pull him back in. “I wish you didn’t understand how it felt.”
There’s a flicker of hurt that hits his face, enveloping his features before the previous sadness kicks in again and he’s reaching for your wrist, tightening around it. “Yes, well, not all of us get the luck of the draw when it comes to good lives.” 
“You should’ve,” you tell him.
He scoffs and closes his eyes, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “You’re probably the only one that thinks that.” 
You let your thumb explore his cheek. Let it move in soft circles, taking in the way it shifts beneath your touch. 
It feels strange to be this close to him even after all of the other intimate moments you’ve shared. Something about it feels softer, more honest than the rest of them, making your heart beat rapidly against your chest, threatening to burst. 
“I know it’s not my business but if you ever want to talk about it—“
He places a kiss to your hand, letting his lips linger against the pad of your thumb as he closes his eyes, reaching around to grip your waist. 
In an instant, the words drift out of your mind once you feel it; lost to a touch you didn’t realize you longed for.
Swallowing hard you lay back down to look away, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the tender image that unfolds as his arm shifts again, accommodating your movement. Making you feel that rush of comfort return as he pulls his mouth away and clears his throat. 
“I’m, uh… I’m not good at this kind of thing.” 
“Vulnerability?” you joke, earning yourself a snort. 
“I suppose that’s a word you can use.” 
“To be fair, neither am I.” 
You feel him shift to meet your gaze, looking at you with surprise. “Really now? I think breaking down in front of the whole camp just so that you can find me is quite the effort of—“
Before he can finish you clamp your hand around his mouth. “I was in shock, you bastard. I wasn’t thinking about my dignity.” 
Flexing around your palm, you feel him smile before he pulls away. “That’s good because there was absolutely nothing dignified about the way you looked at me back there. It was…” He trails off, his words catching in his throat for a moment before he clears it again. “You scared me.” 
There’s a moment of silence after that, lasting far longer for it to be deemed comfortable as you lay there, wide awake, wishing you could get him to talk to you. Hoping that maybe if you reach out with the Illithid he’ll answer your questions. 
Closing your eyes, you feel his presence in your mind already, vying for your attention in a way that has you both moving in closer, tightening your hold. 
Show me the dream. 
It isn’t a question or a request but a simple command that has you obeying —letting him enter your thoughts. Letting him stand along the sidelines as she guides you to the ground and cuts you open all over again. Letting him listen to the recital of words that are spoken behind two frozen expressions as Astarion pulls you tighter against him, placing his mouth to your forehead to stop himself from crying. 
-
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thatdeadaquarius · 3 months
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College be kicking my ass but we continue on like Scaramouche (alive and kicking, but still crabby about it all lmfao)
Random idea but what happens when the acolytes got hold of Creator that is able to squeeze into small places (like a cat would but less liquid) and knows how to escape? Think of sagau but instead of all the deaths, its just they got overexited and chased the Creator the moment they see them which scared them shitless seeing a mob just appear out of nowhere.
I mean who wouldn't after seeing your favourite person in your favourite game just appear right in front of you? (I apologize in advance to the poor unfortunate sucker)
Imagine a world-wide search that keeps getting them heart attacks. Venti just flying by with Dvalin ony to see you on top of the floating pillar above Dragonspine LEANING PRECARIOUSLY OH MY ARCHONS GET AWAY FROM THE EDGE---
Zhongli walking around trying to find peace and quiet only to sense your presence which led him towards Azhdaha's domain and nearly shouted in terror seeing you hanging by one of the limestones above the slumbering dragon your grace what and how the in the fucking name of teyvat did you---
Yae Miko screaming in surprise seeing you inside one of the cupboards of your grace's house (you made a small temporary one in each country in case u need more rest) that she and Ei found in one of the remote islands.
Nahida and the entire Forest Rangers having one of the most intense, frustrating and most challenging game of hide and seek in the entire freaking forest.
You hiding underneath the sand like a fricking snake everytime Cyno spots you from a disrance.
-Vine Boom 🧨
I am no longer apologizing for lateness simply bc atp its basically assumed Im terribly sorry 💀 /so gen
  
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Content under -----------------✄
Sun: Reader, (you/they/them)
Orbit: Headcanons-ish, Imposter SAGAU? Imposter SAGAU Reversed Ver? unclear (NOT DARK)
Stars: little here, little there
Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: reader/you thinks everyone is hunting them down, dark sagau fake-baiting lmao, & Trigger Warnings: none known.
Please comment if I missed any. /gen
No but the traumatic experience of you cautiously wandering into Mondstadt after realizing ur in Genshin like, ✨👄✨
and every single street/alleyway you try to go down to even avoid it is just people all looking at you like: 👁️👄👁️ ???
and ur over here equally just like: 😃 tf u lookin at????
u get up near the cathedral and finally see a playable character, Barbara, and she just fully GASPS and POINTS at you like she’s getting paid to be an actor for this
shouting sm nonsense like: “My Creator??? King of All???? IS THAT YOU?????”
and after which a few nuns check the commotion, Rosaria and Barbara’s Visions are glowing, and all join in heckling you
Venti coming (literally) flying around a corner on a breeze, saying he was trying to catch up to you, and ohhh now ur Convinced:
None of these bitches must be happy to see you, you did forcefully control their bodies if by the sounds of it they knew you/they must’ve been aware during the game, aw damn looks like u gotta run for your life now
You just book it out of Mond, Venti/Barbara yelling after you to come back, and meanwhile you’re leaving a shell-shocked Jean/Diluc/Kaeya (with Visions glowing) in ur wake on the way out
Not one being, mortal or otherwise, convinces you to stay in Mond, and you finally get to Dragonspine- the only place u know they wont follow
(well maybe the pyro characters but ur betting if u can make it up the mountain theyre not committed to,, running you down? arresting you?? ur not sure)
u make it all the way up and luckily everythings all solved like u did in the game, the traveler must be well into teyvat by now, and u decide to say “for the already achieved achievement” and fuck around and find out near the nail
U thought as u finally got on it u heard a scream somewhere in the sky, and u spotted Dvalin carrying Venti/Barbatos, and once again book it out of town (damn u cant believe theyre so committed they got the dragon in on it…)
so u haul ass all the way down the mountain, traveling only at night, living like a vampire, holing up during the day when u see Mond citizens/knights/gods/etc. walking around presumably looking for you
but u make it, finally! sweet, sweet Liyue, ur 2nd home (besides Mondstadt)
Only to immediately, like right outside the fucking gates to Liyue Harbor, run into Zhongli.
and he’s standing there like this mf knew u were coming, and the first thing out his mouth is some BS like, “…Darnell, that you??”/ref LMAOO
but instead of laughing abt it u just scream and run for your life haha
oh jesus h christ- he’s sending the adepti after you fuck- how hated are you??
sure u maybe hate Celestia a little, and sympathize with the traveler, but this seems a little extreme?!
you go to the one place u know he/any other adeptus doesnt like to come often, Azdaha’s cave
and after a night (well, day bc ur sleeping during the day now) of Azdaha sleeping peacefully, he wakes up fully coherent and u actaully have a rlly pleasant conversation with him about Liyue food lol
he also kept mentioning some kind of god? but like in reference to you?? are u connected to them, u kinda know a lot of gods atp so ur not sure which he means, a god to rule them all??? Celestia?? yeah u guess u know those fucks-
Cue u looking down from ur perch in the stalagmites above, u found a ledge and Azdaha helped you,
only to see a very concerned and borderline nervous Zhongli down below, Azhdaha just greets him like nothing’s wrong, but as soon as he sees you’re uncomfortable, helps you escape (more like teleport) away
(the old geo archon was probably nervous just be around Azhdaha u assume)
and now ur on the islands of Inazuma
u know exactly what islands are all but abandoned, the ghost one, the electrocuting one, and the scary bird one, all great options 👍
Raiden and Yae Miko manage to find you on every single one, with Yae getting more and more exasperated, and Ei getting more and more concerened with every position they find you in
hanging out on the banks of the electro river that would kill you if it weren’t for the little electro trees fending it off (thank fuck u maxed that shit out while in game)
bc u assumed they’d hate to be around it, plus lots of ronin- nope Ei is almost… scolding you?? oh but she’s got her Musou no Hitotachi out fuCK-
(she was slaying ronins that were getting too close to you)
she also is constantly jumpscaring you on tsurumi island/ghost island bc while the ghosts are gone, the creepy atmosphere isn't, and it makes her all the more terrifying as The Raiden Shogun comes walking out of the fog into the cave you've hidden in, stuff of ur nightmares for weeks as u just bird box style try to be silent and stealth around the island to get to an abandoned boat,
literally her scary ass purple sword glowing silhouette wandering around in the fog as you paddle away 💀
getting to thunder bird island and Yae Miko is literally both running/teleporting as quickly as she can to you, as you jump from floating rock to floating rock to escape her, god its so unnerving to watch someone so lazy running after you
she keeps getting in this weird “praising the heavens pose” sometimes when you jump, oh shit she’s aiming hER ATTACKS AT YOU THATS WHY-
oh good- she missed and deflected some stray debris coming ur way, u gotta get to the bird area and see if you can glide away (u managed to get a glider at some point thank fuck)
the bird is luckily on ur side against all these mfs trying to hunt u down (for controlling their bodies u guess) and flies u back to mainland teyvat
sumeru u thought would have the most mercy on u tbh, maybe fontaine bc Neuvillette only rlly cares if u break “fontaine” laws, maybe he wouldn't care to chase down a mortal like u over this
and nahida bc shes just nice
which is somewhat true, as you are acting like tarzan swinging around on vines and shit to escape the forest rangers
but she does show up in ur dreams, but shes just all foggy or distorted, u guess bc ur not of this world or smth??
and so it just unnerves u more, and u try to make it out to the desert, where at least there's no gods to worry about
mf ur hunkered down in a pyramid and see the shadowy shape of Cyno walking thru a sandstorm at you 💀
U dont kno how u got out of that one tbh, smth abt “king deshret made a plan for this” and left it behind for ppl to use to escape underground, sweet
And while Nahida and other eremites, scholars like Alhaitham/Kaveh/Dehya were looking around the desert sands, u slip by them
And u make it to the oasis at the edge of the desert, and steal an old rowboat to cross to fontaine (if i had a nickel everytime u needed to escape a god via old rowboat, youd have 2 nickels- )
and getting to Fontaine is not much better.
U literally get to the clockwork tower, foggy, ominous, uninhabited except for treasure-seekers occasionally, its perfect
until Neuvillette himself just strolls in abt 3 nights of u making camp there
u nearly shit urself as he just fake-knocked on a wall, meanwhile ur like hanging from the ceiling (four limbs out suspending you type of fictional shit)
luckily, mostly bc u were trying to wait him out (which wasn't possible ur limbs hurt so bad) he was, finally, the first person around u long enough to be genuinely kind and patient and answer questions
(Neuvillette acc couldn't figure out where u were at first, and was very confused how u got ur voice to boom around this chamber of the tower, after a minute of talking u trusted him enough to tell him to look up lol)
just in time too, he was able to hide u from the archons a little longer bc u were nervous
(u were already intimidated enough by Neuvillette being irl himself, talking to you, let alone all the other gods/vision users, as u realized afterwards thinking abt all the ppl trying to “hunt u down”, that if they all counted as ppl actually wanting to see you, that was a rlly overwhelming amount, esp if their first instinct is to run at you??? what are you, a fan-abused/disrespected kpop idol????)
trying to be fancy and schedule posts once i get enough free time to actually wrangle my adhd to actually partake in my favorite hobbies 💀
well as long as I'm not getting slammed with lots of shifts again
hope u guys had a great weekend and have a good week! Happy late Valentine’s Day :)
Safe Travels Vine Boom,
💀♒
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victimsofyaoipoll · 7 months
Text
Finals
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Propaganda Under Cut
Sakura Haruno
Her husband is gay and her author doesn't know how to write women. So many people say she's the worst but she. DESERVES. BETTER!!! Save her from this franchise.
My baby girl my bestie my best friend. She committed the crime of um being written by kishimoto who both doesn’t know how to write women and somehow writes men in the gayest way possible specifically naruto and sasuke. Like the thing is naruto and sasuke ARE gay and also she gets so much hate for the crime of kishimoto writing her one dimensionally in love with sasuke. I know her personally she is a butch lesbian to me just trust me she’s in love with Ino and has a lesbian thing going on with Karin okay just trust me. My everything. She needs to divorce the loveless lavender marriage she’s in 
What is there to say, even? The OG Threat to my 90s anime brain, the only woman I've ever hated with such a passion she made me turn away from the color pink. I used to write fics with my friend where she got left behind on purpose so our OCs could join the Naruto and Sasuke team instead. I loathed this bitch until I was 16 and realized the author simply couldnt write women and decided it was time to make peace with Sakura. It is not her fault she's vaguely written and obsessive over Sasuke. She deserves better. Sasuke and Naruto still should be together and Sakura shouldnt be with Sasuke but I no longer believe this because I hate Sakura, it is because I love her. She deserves a spouse who will actually put in the time to treat her like the hero she is.
Misa Amane
she gets treated in-canon the way fandoms treat female characters that Threaten an m/m ship. it's like, "oh why don't you go sit in the corner and be pretty, misa, while the Men have intelligent conversation and pretend they aren't ten seconds from fucking each other, doesn't that sound nice?" it's infuriating. and MAYBE it's better now but i remember her getting treated the same way in fanfiction too, like we all need to do just as badly by our female secondary characters as fucking tsugumi ohba, but with the added insult of making her be alternately oblivious of the relationship between light and L or actively trying to sabotage it—incompetently, of course, because god forbid misa be allowed dignity or moments of cleverness.
she's one of the first characters I think of when I consider old school fandom misogyny. The annoying bitch and clingy crazy gf allegations were AFTER HER ASS. She's also a lot more intelligent than people gave her credit for, but most seem inclined to take the Very Biased word of our unreliable, narcissistic narrator and his homoerotic arch nemesis and claim that just because she's bubbly and into romance that she's also a complete moron. Which is blatantly untrue. Everyone was afraid of Misa girlbossing too hard. Killing people and devoting yourself to the deranged twink of your dreams even though you know he'll never love you back??? Having a hardcore goth aesthetic and being so Hot even literal Death Gods are into you?? God forbid women do ANYTHING!
Not only is she the victim of yaoi culture, she is the victim of early 2000s misogyny by an author that wanted to introduce a girl character because he knew his male rivals were getting too homoerotic. She is a goth bimbo icon who portrays what I think is one of the few callouts for stan culture and what parasocial relationships can do to both the stan and the idol. The fact that she is a toxic fan of Kira and also hot, funny, sociable is tragic in its own way, which I think the author did try to touch on but was too misogynistic too really get through. Of course, she was reduced to villain status by the fandom and anime alike because she got in the way of the supposed romance in their psychological horror anime
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radiorenjun · 2 years
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God at this point ppl who has fear of the dark are officially on my pet peeve list
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yanderestarangel · 5 months
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✏ anon request: "Can you write something about smoke holding back his desires because he doesn't want to be pushy or selfish but the reader tells him to let loose? Like a sub!tomas to a rough dom!tomas"
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TW: hard!dom tomas, sexual fantasies, fetishes, daddykink, breed!kink, spit on mouth, v!sex, blowjob - deep throat, rough sex, dub con, hunter!play, primitive sex, size!kink, bare sex, degradation, oral (f!re), nicknames, ftm!reader, extreme!smut, nsfw, bites, afab anatomy, power play, part.1.
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♡ - Tomas has so much built-up lust that it literally physically hurts the poor guy. He was always repressed in many aspects - whether sexual or sentimental - throughout his years of life, he was always the younger brother, the sweet and kind man, the ninja who helped everyone... But even though he repressed his thoughts even more of dominance, inside, something inside the Slav was something more primitive, desires that he could never let out.
♡ - However, you soon entered his life, and to make matters worse, his desires increased even more. He tried to masturbate so he wouldn't take it out on you, but every time he saw you, he just wanted to bend you over the nearest surface and fill you to the brim with his cum, while turning you into a dumb, quivering mess for him. The first few times you had sex were also calmer, with Tomas afraid of hurting you, and not penetrating you, just letting you have fun with his cock, whether sucking it or just rubbing your pussy over his thick length - like I already wrote in another headcanon, Smoke is a guy with an 8-inch dick, in addition to being an extremely muscular man, who can easily break you in half for several reasons - so he just settles for having your orgasm, but from the moment when you tell him to just let go and take everything out on you... This man becomes a hungry beast.
♡ - Tomas will start to be rougher, starting with oral sex. Before, when he was still repressing himself from being a submissive, he would just give calm and peaceful licking and fingering, however, now he will suck your pussy, ordering you to ride his face, slapping your ass and squeezing your breasts - if you you have - while deliciously degrading you, the ninja's husky voice against your sensitive skin, placing your clit between his teeth lightly, making you jump and squirm. "-I've been wanting this, dreaming about fucking you like this, feeling your tight pussy squeezing my tongue like that. You're driving me crazy, baby, you're my whore, aren't you?" he would grunt as he motivated you to rub even more of your wetness against him, you couldn't help but let out a loud squeal, feeling the change in the power dynamic between the two of you, before Vrbada only showered you with affectionate nicknames but now, he treated you like a cheap slut and you.... Loved that.
Tomas has several fetishes, and after the first time you authorize him, he will use them all on you, whether they are:
♡ BREEDING!KINK ♡ With him fucking you raw, the skin on skin drove him crazy, he turned into a mf smug while he had one hand on your neck and the other holding your waist, pounding your pussy roughly, affectionately calling you "my little breeding slut" filling your little pussy with his hot and thick cum, the feeling becomes uncomfortable as he cums inside you so much, but he tells you to squeeze your thighs and not let any drops fall, after all, you are the good boy from him. "-Just keep those pretty thighs closed ok? Yes my pretty bitch, you're a good boy, and good boys close their pussies when told to... I want to see you filled with my kids."
♡ DADDYKINK ♡ Tomas has always had the need to feel in control, so for you to call him "Daddy" while he's so rough, abusing your holes is so amazing to him. He will just use your favorite nicknames while he fucks your throat - forcing you to deep throat him, as he quickly takes his member out of your mouth leaving a burning sensation in your throat, tears running down your face, making the tall man smile and rub the dick in your cheek, hitting the member in your face and returning to the heat of your tongue. "-Oh fuck... Keep sucking daddy's cock will you? You can handle that, can't you? You're just my stupid boy, my cockslave' so beautiful and so needy, just like a good slut would be."
♡ HUNTER!PLAY ♡ Smoke will use his talents as a Hunter to hunt you, an aggressive and primitive sex, with you being his prey - like a lost deer, being sought after by a hungry wolf - he will give you a five-minute advantage to run through the forest, the The sun was setting while you tried to run away... But you knew it was inevitable, and that made you even wetter, after all your boyfriend warned you that the further you went, the rougher he would fuck you. He knew exactly where you were, throwing you to the ground and pinning your neck with his biceps against the dry leaves - his blue eyes shone with a primal hunger and he practically salivated, pulling his already hard cock out of his pants. Smoke held your face, forcing you open your mouth and spitting inside. "-Swallow it my dirty little slut... And get ready, I'm going to fuck you until you can barely mouth my fucking name." He will cover your mouth, isolating your sounds as he fucks you into oblivion, sucking your breasts and leaving you totally marked with bites.
♡ SIZE!KINK ♡ He loves seeing the bulge that builds up in your womb as he continually shoves his cock into your overstimulated hole, placing one of his hands to feel how big it is, and how much it is bouncing inside your little womb. "-Do you feel that? You're taking my cock like a champ, boy... My slutty baby boy just wants me to destroy you... Damn you're a pretty, naughty little thing." Tomas fills you repeatedly with his cum, the feeling of being bigger and stronger than you, being able to break you in half at any moment was intoxicating for him, carrying you all over the house and lifting you in his arms, making you cum and squirt in the his cock several times, and he won't stop, until he sees you limp and about to pass out on his lap, after all, you asked for it.
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𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 ©𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 2024. 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆.
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bitdemonic · 11 months
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date. may 29th, 2023
time. 3:16pm
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—❝𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐞.❞
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𝐬𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬. future spouse pac ✞ pics with them
𝐚𝐢𝐝. if the images above are too hard to differentiate between your intuition, use ‘pile 1, 2, 3, or 4’ for the choice selection instead. this reading has five piles and each pile is different in terms of context.
𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫. 18+ content—no minors. please remember, this post is just for shits and giggles. pinch a grain of salt and use the best of your discernment. i tend to write under the impression that majority of this content’s viewers are women however i read for both feminine and masculine energies. if needed to, please flip the roles as reversed for an accurate message. hope this reading is useful, but not for plagiarism bitch. enjoy.❦
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ✞
🃏lovers. 5oc. magician↺. queen of pentacles↺. tower↺. strength↺ and peace.
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let it be mentioned that the lovers card amplifies all of the energy that follows; def intense because i could feel it within the deck itself. pictures here are raw, they’re always unfiltered and passionate at w.e moment they’re taken. to me, y’all are the literal definition of ownership lmao so it’s hard not to notice the obsession with each another. y’all’s chemistry is def eye-catching, tantalizing to say the least. “mine.��� there are resemblances between y’all, matching tattoos or even being mistaken for brother and sister. to put it in a nutshell, this is tongue kissing on the main and taunting old exes—it’s obvious there’s bomb ass sex with each other lmao, but more importantly there is devotion.
apart from posting on social media, there’s internet presence around y’all—could be popular influencers or just outright celebrities. possible youtube couple? very de’arra and ken vibes. either way, someone in the connection (if not both) went or will go viral. the tower in retrograde, this is a specific picture at a specific point in time; it even has the potential to be life changing. “break the internet.” attention that brings problems ngl. sure someone’s jealous ex, but apart from them there is so much outside negativity towards the feminine. people are pissed when she comes across their feed, but only because they secretly want to be her. queen of coins in retrograde; envy that simmers from deep within until it becomes hatred or outer turmoil. seeing pics sent in groupchats, hate comments from spam accounts, posting on close friends—her presence triggers insecurities and people hurt under pressure. black moon lilith. as delusional as it sounds, this is an eerie situation to be in fr so be mindful.
the masculine doesn’t stand a chance omg, the feminine is deadass the star of the show. represented as the queen of wands, she’s outshining tf out of him without even trying lmao. glamorization of what the masses can see, which undeniably is her beauty. this is “off guard” pretty, bad pictures just simply don’t exist. if y’all wear makeup, it’s very complimented—the blending and baking, or contour and highlighter are a ten. this even pertains to the first paragraph, how someone here is in the public eye, because pictures of her are taken unbeknownst due to her appearance. the magician in retrograde signifies fan cams, video edits, and pinterest boards—there’s also editorials and photoshop? mentions of an aesthetic came in, or “neptune.”
all in all, this couple has magnetism and attracts opportunities due to their pictures. def some gorgeous people, it was noted that y’all’s face cards elite lmao. however, y’all have to be cautious because taboo-ism is prone to happen as well. such as scamming or catfishing, things that could cause detriment to future occasions. outsiders are the issue here, they’ll def try to bank off on y’all’s identities. something could or could’ve already happened with a certain picture? “controversy.” the response to it is fifty-fifty; half who are defending and half who are criticizing. “stans” and a “fandom” are involved.
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📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬
❦— from behind. the masculine will tower behind the feminine (no matter the height), engulfing her in a bear hug or whatever else to imply their presence. head buried in her neck, hands wrapped around her waist—this also denotes their possessiveness as partners together.
❦— pretty teeth. big big smiles here, the goofy grins and shut eyes. y’all countdown before taking a picture but numerous times because y’all can never be serious lmao. fingers in mouth type smiley faces.
❦— beauty queen. this is more-so on the feminine’s behalf, she’s the one that’s always ready for a picture and the one always asking someone to take one of her. being photogenic is one of her best features to date. no matter if y’all agree, but i’m def seeing the face of a model.
❦— cancer. this made me think of ariana grande and her husband dalton, their pic outside with the moon behind them. this is pictures in that same setting, or at least taking them during the nighttime. 8pm thru 5am. stargazing together is here too.
❦— taurus. this actually alludes to more than one thing. the masculine is a gift giver, i pulled the “sugar daddy” card for them in particular. they def have big bucks, or at least enough to gift you the finer things in life. they’ll spoil you for fun and in turn you’ll show off what they bought you—new toys lol. pics of the “next big thing” (vacation views, receipts or tickets, cars, etc). smell goods are specific, perfumes or colognes.
“glutton” corresponds with taurus as well—someone in this connection loves to chow down, meaning tons of food cameos in their (own) pictures. they’ll pose funnily; mid-chew or with a bunch of food stuffed in their mouth to be annoying lol. little dorky things like putting an orange peel in their mouth before they smile.
❦— do not disturb. pretty self-explanatory, but for y’all this seems to be alone time from the world. this reminded me of travel, but i channeled that this is to each others hometowns. this could be an interracial connection, mentions of cultural traditions and differences.
❦— naked bodies. the feminine’s chest is significant, something about that area in particular that the masculine loves. there’s pics of them fondling or sucking on her nipples, playing with them even. someone’s v-line is here, plus a hand going up their abdomen. the masculine’s bare ass is source material too, those pics are for funsies.
❦— topping. this could obviously mean they’re a daddy dom in general lmao, but if not it just means the masculine will be hunched over or “taller” than the feminine. she’ll be lower than him, as in he’s standing and she’s sitting or she’s laying down beneath him. sex-wise this is them doing it from behind or being on top quite literally.
❦— foreplay. tbh this one is vague, but i still wanted to put it in bc why tf not. this is while y’all are in the moment, or while someone is teasing the other before actual intercourse. pictures of them while they’re giving you hickies, or while they’re pulling at your underwear to give you oral. somebody’s an ass muncher too so expect pics of that lmaooo.
❦— sloppy. no but yes iykyk😂 this is more on the pic itself, how it won’t be organized or captured clearly during sexual moments. like if you’re pleasuring them and have them take a picture, it’ll just come out fucked and unfocused because they’re fucked and unfocused. kinda what would’ve been the perfect shot if y’all weren’t so “distracted”.
brooklyn and nicola peltz-beckham (hot ass names) are the perfect couple example for this pile. their expressiveness together is subtle, yet loud enough that we know they’re each other’s one and only. regardless of how long the relationship lasts, we’ll remember the fact that they were ultimately made for each other.
end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 ✞
🃏king of cups. princess of cups. 2oc. 5op↺. 8oc↺. rest and comfort.
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this spread screams emotional depth, it’s haunting as hell but not in a bad way—in a way that’ll pull your soul into its deep abyss. hypnotic almost. this is “grow old together” love, i can literally feel the years in my bones. these are moments that you can’t help but reminisce on, pictures that are saved or bookmarked because they’re so very special. their essence is felt and appreciated, enough that there’ll be tears of happiness. lmao this is going to sound corny, but this connection’s energy reminds me of a warm blanket. like milk and cookies on the sofa, or a kiss goodbye from grandma. it’s just so snug, i can’t even put into words how safe i feel right now. how libras are sweet and tender, fragile enough to shatter if you aren’t gentle—this is softness at its finest.
[TW] substance abuse could’ve been an reoccurring issue in this relationship, or at least a bad problem. the five of pentacles being in retrograde was an indication of sobriety to me, along with the image of somebody holding their own sobriety chip with a smile—not for everyone, but pictures under this circumstance are meant to remember the past without having to revisit the pain. “encouragement.” it’s apparent at this point lmao, but the sweetest captions known to man are found here. paragraph after paragraph, an everflowing stream of appreciation for your partner. endearing birthday posts are significant, along with sweet nothings in the comments omg y’all are sapsss. if i had to put it in words, “smol” or “wubs” come to mind before anything else omg y’all are sapssssss.
there are before and after pictures with each other (childhood friends, neighbors, friend of a friend, etc.) because again “growing old iem together”, there’s a sense of watching each other through the years. feeling the vibe of them being around as kids, transitioning into adulthood then getting closer as grownups. if not tho, this is someone that you’ll literally feel at home with; they are home to be real. this is a person that’s familiar, regardless of if they’re new or not. y’all are going to be glued to each other’s side until death. similarities are here, but in the sense of same environment or same social circle. i’m also getting similar taste in hobbies, music, and clothing. meditation or gym pics are common, promoting balance and wellbeing is a shared interest. personalities in general, ya’ll coordinate so very well. no wonder people linger longer than they need to—they’re wanting to see what’s next with the world’s cutest couple. also because y’all are walking enigmas and it threatens them lmao.
the attributes of venus sums up y’all’s pictures together. they’re beautiful, and are the literal definition of a thousand words. i channeled date night, but this came to being in the kitchen most of the time. y’all love to cook together, or to be in the kitchen at the same time to goof off and be annoying. dinner at home happens frequently, i’m seeing someone set the table while the other chops vegetables and stirs the pot. there’s pictures of handwritten love letters or random bouquets of flowers, things that tend to sweeten life with them a little more than before. this is def “fell in love with my best friend”, even as a photo caption lol. friends in general are around y’all—drunk nights at the bar, group poses in front of an amusement park, eating edibles and doing vlogs, etc. a lot of moments with your future spouse include people y’all are close with as a couple (siblings, co-workers, group of friends). nostalgia is the overall vibe here. pictures together feel good and “homey”.
extra mentions because i can’t even get over this pile, this is my favorite one out of all of them. it just feels how a polaroid looks, but in the sense of being in love? i just keep seeing the little things🥹 walking alongside the beach, kissing in the photo booth, building a gingerbread house, picking their nose even lmao. wow ya’ll have custom fridge magnets too. i didn’t get that pics of them were frequent on social media, more so because they’re too special to share. this pile values their privacy so pictures aren’t taken with the thought of anyone else in mind, they’re very cherished. i did channel emotional milestones being posted (pregnancy, marriage, moving in, etc.) and i do see their own certified spot on your page (photo dumps, page highlights, name in bio). kinda like a virtual museum of their love to you and your love to them.
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📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬
❦— them. a potent photo trait is literally your fs lmao, they’re lowkey walking art. something about their facial features or structure are resemblant to a god’s—very pretty people, and we photograph them as such. capturing them from their good angles with the best lighting, it’s flattering. people stop breathing when they see these pictures.
❦— b&w. these are heartwarming pictures, ones that are wholesome enough to frame and hang on the walls. i’m seeing pinkies being intertwined and eskimo kisses, innocence personified. closeups of someone covering their face and hiding their smile, but peeking through their fingers to see the camera cuteee.
❦— work. big thing here, it was mentioned three times. y’all could have an online business together, one that encourages or promotes positivity (self affirmations, fundraisers, products, etc.) it could be popular, there’s succession (passed down thru generations) and a sense of being stable despite y’all being new owners.
there’s also “goodbye” and “big city”, working creates long distance travel which means the time y’all usually spend together gets split in half. someone has to leave frequently and for long periods of time, this in turn creates photo dumps (which are so common here lol) and extra long captions.
❦— hermit mode. take a shot for each time i’ve said something’s cute lmao but this is so cute. so these are pics at home or in comfortable environments, in matching onesies or facial masks. just very big kid vibes, y’all even build pillow forts to sleep in them awww. this is peace and quiet with each other.
❦— phone. i channeled facetime and audio messages, “listen to me.” ya’ll spend hours upon hours on the phone. no matter if it’s meaningful convo or a simple check in, y’all will talk all day until your mouths go dry. taking screenshots of their goofy messages (hilarious btw) while falling asleep on the phone, y’all can’t get enough of each other. this is someone that will listen to and send songs that remind them of you, creating playlists that y’all will listen to together.
❦— landscapes. beautiful views with them, emphasis on beautiful. orange sunsets, mossy green hills, glittered night skies. blooming gardens or snowcapped peaks, nature as a whole is prominent but def within photos. a “secret” code is here; if someone isn’t in the picture entirely, their stuff will be so that we know they’re around. (car keys or a phone, initials in the sand, half-eaten food etc.)
❦— guess what? “we just fucked.” lame i know lmaoooo but this is what y’all do, leave writing on foggy windows or wet handprints against shower glass. it could be wet stains on the bed, bite marks on the thighs—anything goes to snitch on y’all selves tbh. even seeing red scratches across someone’s back, yet they grin with a thumbs up.
❦— nudes. if your person is a male, pictures of their wand are reoccurring. very reoccurring lmao, whether it’s sent from them or taken by you. specifically pictures of your hand wrapped around their wand after they’ve🥛 but there’s videos too, more of the oral part before the finish lmao. this is on the feminine’s phone in particular, she has a hidden folder in her camera roll just for these.
❦— home videos. y’all have beautiful sex together, as in pleasure that’s meant to be on film fr. emotions and passion at an all time high, it’s as if the walls were painted in y’all’s intimacy. “aesthetes.” so much thought and effort are put into the final product—props and low lighting, burning candles, background music. it’s a movie scene, even down to the settings that resemble paintings.
❦— the fool. it’s normal for nsfw pics to happen outside; in nature or in public spaces. wild cards fr, you’ll end up doing it anywhere and everywhere (oral included). no regard for the law or peeping toms either, y’all get too wrapped up in each other care. this is in restrooms, at parking lots, on beaches, etc. just don’t get caught lmao.
end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 ✞
🃏queen of cups↺. 6os↺. 5op. 10op↺. 9oc. cleanse and ideation↺.
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i want to mention that i noticed a dime while shuffling—this made me think “a dime a dozen” or “diamond in the rough.” this is on the fs’s part, they put you on a pedestal. you’re a trophy to them, the winning prize, someone that they’re so proud to experience and witness in their everyday glory. no one in the world reminds them of you, you’re indifferent and cherishable. your own person. channeled that this is evident in their eyes—in pictures you’ll notice a glimmer or glint, even the admiration on their face. in awe of all that is you.
these are photos that can’t be shared, ones that are kept secret and stowed under passwords. “your eyes only.” this energy is very secretive, very “shhhh” and it seems to be a double edged sword situation. this pile’s future spouse has an outside relationship, someone they’re involved with despite their attachment to you. it’s shitty because y’all truly have a bomb ass connection but the secrecy behind it overshadows the love. the emperor in retrograde, their control over the situation is a nuance to the issue. the problem lies in their dismissal of reality, life outside of the fantasy they’ve created. pertaining to them leaving their current partner, it’s no negotiation on how or when to do it. they want to leave on their own time, but you’re not a fan of that sentiment because it’s tiring. this person is so matter of fact tho lmao, they say “deal with it or don’t.”
ngl i do see this as possessiveness, but it’s not as terrible as it seems. the circumstance could obviously be better, but as far as their intentions go it’s never out of spite. it sounds confusing because yes this is a love triangle, but truthfully they’re more invested in what y’all have. there’s just no forward action after the fact which screams lack of accountability due to their pride and ego. despite their leo placements (trust me), this person emulates the cowardly lion and his fear of courage, particularly their refusal to come clean and cut ties. with cleanse and ideation being contrasting colors (red and blue i.e. hot and cold), moments of passion turn into missed calls and ghosting. long periods on their end, on and off or up and down, because they don’t want to accept defeat—being in love.
these photos remind me of a mask, one that hides the truth behind wide smiles and kissy faces. it’s a lot going on within this connection and tbh that aspect is more evident than anything in the camera. despite their emotional response to you, i did channel that they have the tendency to forget you’re human lmao. not in a weird disrespectful sense, but that you’re an item they want to keep “all alone and only needing me.” it seems unhinged but again this isn’t with ill intent, it’s a claim for them. “competition” and i’m channeling flavor flav’s dating show—this is an ego (leo) thing for sure because of course this person has insecurities revolving your other options. this is such a situationship lmao but i don’t think it’s all bad, just some major inner reflection is needed. i will say that pile three’s energy was quiet, this seems to be withdrawal from dealing with old patterns and that’s valid.
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📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬
❦— photobomb. this person is alwaysssss interrupting personal pictures lmao and with no shame too. i’m getting so many random instances of them, nine times out of ten they’ll be in the background of whatever is taken. channeling live photos specifically; you’re posing in the mirror as they walk in to bother you lmao. they start to grab at your waist to give you a kiss, but you’re laughing and squealing instead. they’ll have moments as such, but their gestures are significant (middle fingers, expressive faces, waving at the camera etc.)
❦— scorpio. very sexy, secluded energy is significant. for obvious reasons it’s borderline sneaking around, so the air of enticement is always there. “risqué.” there’s something about the lighting that adds to this dynamic, either lowering brightness or dimming the contrast (me coded) to “seduce” or add mystique. also it just looks better lmao.
❦— three of wands. specific so it’s not for all, but someone in this connection is either bisexual or bi-curious. this could even point to a polygamous or open relationship because i’m seeing threesomes or kissing people of the same sexual orientation. maybe even doing things with this person’s outside connection(s), it was mentioned. this didn’t come off as a photo trait but i still put it in lmao take what resonates.
❦— thin ice. one or the other are using their partner’s state of vulnerability as a quote unquote mindfuck😭 this is when they’re upset (yelling, crying, silent treatment etc). i even see someone sticking up their middle finger as their person spams a bunch of pictures. “aw you mad?” this seems to be the fs’s game of choice and it’s irritating bc sometimes they can’t read the room lmao.
❦— honey. this lands since together y’all seem to be hot and sticky, but turn out sweet at the same time. your person’s teasing and childish antics tie into this too (sticky), they’ll send pictures of things they ordered for you or send money to make up for upsetting you.
❦— hot. honey hot lmaoo don’t unfollow me yet. “turn me on” and “sexy sexy” came out, pretty self explanatory. i could see the energy if anything, y’alls energies are intense af. it’s like looking at porn in the form of a couple, very cunt tbh (i hate myself). sexual innuendos come from this too—grabbing crotches but it’s not in view, peeking at them from under the sheets, biting fingers or being choked.
❦— aquarius. very unserious couple lmaooo (take a shot for each lmao lmao), ya’ll are so silly together. this is milk mustaches, cheek biting, sniffing armpits, clenching butts—literally anything dumb. fun environments or dates that require being active, ones that are out the box or outside comfort zones. rock climbing, bungee jumping, parasailing, rooftop golf, riding atvs etc. veryyy fun pics.
❦— evidence. i didn’t want to include this because i don’t encourage it but we move. whatever pics come out of this specific part, they’re going to be vile. just outright nasty lmao and it’s for a reason. this is def ammunition for the feminine, this is her weapon for those that try to sabotage this relationship out of spite or competition. saved for “rainy days.” this is one leo ass pile😭
❦— aphrodite. because you’re breathtaking, they’ll catch you in the moments of being “free” or at ease. like when you’re getting undressed for a shower or when you’re glowing after great sex. capturing minuscule details that only a lover would notice, they see true beauty even when you aren’t attempting to be.
❦— nudes. the feminine is naughty oooo. “invisible ink.” she’s sending nudes like invitations lmao, but on the occasion that y’all have been separated for too long. wants to show her partner what they’ve been missing, or at least what they can’t have. “look since you can’t touch.” it’ll be torture too lmao, she’s def dolled up and posing in whatever’s sheer to flaunt her goods.
when it comes to sexual media in general, y’all are always on the same page. whenever, wherever, however—it’s always reciprocated because it’s always wanted lmao, it’s exciting and keeps things fun. sexting at work, whispering dirty talk into the phone, masturbation videos before noon etc. admiration of each other’s bodies is here; heart emojis and words of affirmation.
❦— queen of coins. this is value during pleasure, goddess treatment when it comes to bedroom activities. tbh if y’all stared at them long enough it’d just get y’all hot and bothered for more. i’m channeling that your person will dead send money in return for being blessed omg. roleplay and cosplay were mentioned, y’all go shopping for new costumes or items together.
had to mention because it kept reoccurring whenever i edited this specific pile—i kept repeating lmao after certain sentences or wanted to put in dumb shit for comedic presence, and i wanted to be blunt with this pile so bad because y’all felt so bestie. this was so y’all’s fs lmao idk who they are but they’re nothing but jokes, a pure clown at heart. i thought it was cute because i interpreted it as y’all being so connected that even when y’all are far apart y’all are still so close.
end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 ✞
🃏5os↺. 2ow↺. 3oc. the hermit. the magician↺. flow↺ and growth.
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off bat it seems that pictures didn’t come into fruition for a while, at least three-five months tops. “no sudden movements.” resistance and ghosting are here, someone is running from the connection out of fear. the hermit card means that they’re scared of stepping outside their comfort zone to take a risk. not even in a negative way it’s just that they’re terrified lmao. this is def bestfriends to lovers but there’s turtle movement around the union coming together—that same someone doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. they don’t know this obviously, but y’all are actually a divine union. “ancient” so this could be souls from a past life coming together again. “grounded as human beings.” this is so slow burn tho lmao i can deadass see a tree starting to grow but in slowww motion.
this person fantasizes heavyyy about taking passionate photos with you, but again y’all are nowhere near that level of commitment yet. pretty sure this reading’s timeline is during the beginning or middle of y’all’s friendship since there’s so many downloads about comfortability and not wanting to mess up. they’re fighting temptation so bad it’s wild lmao, they’ve never felt this strongly about someone—let alone a friend. red hearts are in their eyes whenever you’re near, but they’ll still turn away to avoid facing the truth of their feelings. it’s annoying to them too lmao, queen of cups represents the emotional pull your presence has on them. to be caught up in the depths of inner reflection is so outside themselves and yet here they are.
someone else is involved with the pacing of this connection. the three of cups being pulled is representative as a person or situation outside of y’all, one that they’re incapable of leaving though they’re desperate to. “can’t.” something about being bound (marriage, children, parents, religion etc.) is the reason why. whichever or whatever it is, unfortunately it’s not an easy fix. their energy is obviously the most prominent and that’s because they’re yearning for this idea of becoming more, they just hate that blockages exist and are effective. you’re a literal pleasure to be around, they wish to easily accept and embrace all that you should offer. channeled tupac’s love letter to jada and how he wrote, “you bring me 2 climax without sex.” beautiful ass words from him btw, but in correspondence to your person this is what they’d say about you too. it’s a lot to relish in and it’s prob not obvious, but they do worship the very ground you walk on. admiration, adoration, appreciation in every way possible. honorable mention, your future spouse loves talking to you. general conversation is nice, but y’all peel off the layers of topics that are taboo or undiscussed. the conversation will reach the very ends of the earth just to double back again for more.
didn’t realize until now that pics together weren’t mentioned that much because this person had some things to say instead lmao. it’ll start off discreet, sneaking photos of you from behind or getting them walking past your table. this is cute considering the reading was mainly from fs’s perspective, but you’re the one that’s taking “accidental” pictures of them first. and when this person happens to take “accidental” pictures too, they won’t ever delete them. keepsakes. those accidents soothe the big fat secret crushes y’all have on each other. y’all are literally 🩷 in human form, or puppy love as a couple. very cute like i’m squealing for y’all.
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📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬
❦— spam. “123” was pulled twice, but instead of countdowns i channeled multiple pictures at once. getting in each other’s faces for the fun of it, catching them off guard or at their “worst” to be silly lol. i see y’all picking out the most embarrassing ones and saving them to y’all’s favorites.
❦— beyoncè. “middle fingers up, put them hands high.” boy do y’all love this gesture lmaooo this is def in almost every pic if not all. i did hear until it’s used with direct intent then the rest of the song came in😭 this is a jab at their on and off behavior, y’all have periods of being beefed out bc of it.
❦— hair. someone’s hair is prominent, could be curly? if not it’s still apart of photos together, it’s even a prop sometimes. very nice hair, bold or beautiful. this is using strands of hair for mustaches or pretending to eat it with wide eyes lmao.
❦— taurus. could be food pics as well, but i channeled netflix and chill vibes. lounging around with y’all’s legs on the other or using chests as pillows. y’all send screenshots of movie favorites (actors and directors, behind the scenes, monologues etc.) or of movie knickknacks. seeing pics at comic-con and animals in character costumes. movie funko pops or figurines too.
❦— venusian. this is someone that will always always always compliment you before, after, or during a picture. if you ask them to take one of you, you’ll notice how fucking long it takes them to do it. i’m seeing them look back and forth, from you to the camera, because “wow you’re real.” gorgeous too. taken aback for sure but they’ll hide it behind witty little remarks. “wow you actually look nice today” but instead it’s the shittiest attempt at hiding what they really want to say.
❦— old friend. waving hello or goodbye, someone is doing this to the other as they come closer or farther away. pictures while they’re walking, seeing small smiles and timid hands. sweet gestures are significant, followed by blushing cheeks or shy eye contact.
❦— baby. this🥹 this is literally y’all’s aesthetic in most pictures. it’s like looking at puppies and kittens, how your whole demeanor goes soft and you can’t stop saying “awww.” tenderness is always there and it’s shown—forehead kisses, tracing noses, wearing each other’s shirts or hoodies, hugs from behind etc.
❦— boobies and more boobies. boobies.
❦— fluids. horrendous ass word but these are pics of 🥛 or 🧃 on each other’s faces. releasing on your lower body, or you’ll get them drenched in yours. if this person has a wand, i’m seeing it lodged in your mouth or being tapped across your cheek. this includes (loud and expressive🤭) self-masturbation on their end as well.
❦— condiments. yessss this is them putting whip cream on your neck to suck it off or pouring syrup into your belly button and licking it out. not food but ice cubes were mentioned too, dragging it along your body or kissing it into your mouth. plus they’re delicate with it. these are vids more than pics, but nonetheless y’all hot af lmao.
❦— lingerie. high quality, as in lace corsets and beaded garters that give off haute couture. getting the vibe of something expensive, and it doesn’t have to be but y’all not wearing nothing cheap lmao. doe or siren eyes in the camera, along with lewd poses and provocative faces.
❦— hotttt. vids of them taking control or dirtying you up real good since they’re on camera🥵 rough and nasty, crying and begging type shit. i’m hearing taunting or a tone of condescendence while they pound harder and deeper wow. very raw and disgusting i love it. choking and spitting even, they’re extremely intense when they want to be and you’re going to love it lmao.
❦— aftercare. capturing each other’s naked bodies, either rubbing against one another or winding down after a round. this is when it’s all said and done, when y’all are out of breath and exhausted from banging each other’s brains out lmao. but it could also be the slower part of intercourse, where y’all still “attached” but it’s coming to an end. bro y’all are hot af😭
end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading
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𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 ✞
🃏5ow. 10ow↺. death↺. 4os↺. 9ow. 2os↺. space and passion.
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starting with the cards space and passion, this pile def has to tiptoe around the concept of taking photos with their fs. whoever they are, there’s disapproval around them being romantically involved with you. channeled “good girl gone bad” and it reminds me of the preacher’s daughter who turned out to be someone different than expected. with death in retrograde, that’s literally what i just said lmao—fated transformation will occur during this person and after. matter of fact, all of the cards in reverse represent the people whom are trying to lure you back into who you “used to be.” these people fear your transformation because they think it’s happening under the circumstance of pleasing your future spouse and not for personal gain. something tells me this is family talking opposed to public influence or nosey exes, and i also feel like you’re without a voice here. people don’t hear you out even when you try to speak up? with the nine of wands, you’re incessantly being put in positions where your beliefs are challenged as an adult, but this could stem from childhood as well. chiron in the 3rd, lillith in the 4th, and mercury in the 12th could be significant.
going back to this person, they give me first vibes. not in the sense of losing virginities or love and heartbreak, but your first sexual awakening. the aura around pictures with them are intense enough to be sexy but the dark and brooding type that’s why i made the assumption of this being the opened door to devotion. this feels like sex magick lmao, you’ll feel bonded to them whether it was before or after the first time. you’ve never been this infatuated before and if you think you have, no you haven’t. this is going to sound lame lmao but y’all’s energy feels like my persona on here, the profile pic and username. kourtney kardash and travis barker are a better example since they’re an actual couple. y’all are like them, not their entire relationship but the aesthetic they share and how in lust they are. don’t hate me either but i’m picking up on how kourtney pretty much changed her whole look to match travis’s vibe, this is that too (don’t do that tho, be yourself baby).
lmao let me again mention that people are pissed at this union like real bad. of course they don’t necessarily matter considering this is your life, but funnily enough they want the best for you. don’t get me wrong, however way they go about expressing this could def be better but the intention isn’t to be assholes. four of swords in retrograde, their thoughts revolve around emotional stability and maturity—you’re too young for them (fs) in terms of naivety. “ticking time bomb.” there’s truth to this tho and ofc you’ll discover why that is once it’s time to. bringing up the nine of wands again, as a whole it turned out be an age gap—your person could be older and it doesn’t have to be a huge ass difference but it’s not subtle lmao. channeled the trope dbf!character x daughter!reader😭 ngl that sums up why there’s so much tsking around y’all being together. y’all better be of legal age, and please careful when old creeps come around because no.
ngl this seems to be a karmic relationship that comes with a profound lesson; don’t get discouraged either, this is going to bring in so much growth as a physical and spiritual being. this is meant to help you transition through life seamlessly, or at least without the mindset of giving up. this lesson seems to be made up of spiritual guidance bordering past wounds (relationship, childhood, generational etc.), a universal test that’ll heal the old and assist the new. you’re kicking people from the past back where they were left at, very intent on standing where your foot lands. beautiful baby, congrats to your future self!
extra notes because i had no space to fit them in with the other paragraphs. as i said earlier, people are against y’all’s connection but it’s not just your family members that try to intercept. “tabloids.” i think your future spouse may be in the public eye? i didn’t pick up on fame in particular, but there’s some type of attention on them that gets put on you. regardless, the situation brings a shitload of haters. it’s weird tbh because people don’t not like you but at the same time they do?😭 “bittersweet” came to mind and that’s replicant of this energy in a way? “you deserve better.” people want to save you from something they don’t think is worth your time, but then want to rub it in your face that they told you so? bro idk who this person is but they are notttt popular, people not fw them at all lmao. it’s negativity around them if anything but i just heard “bad publicity is still publicity”, maybe that image works for them.
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📸 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬
y’all must be special irl this pile is so different from the others lol—i didn’t pick up on photo traits but personality traits instead so i went with it. there’s no nsfw section for y’all because i didn’t pick up on that either, however there are four more piles for y’all to choose from!
❦— green eyes. this could be literal green eyes, but i felt more of an envious energy instead. surprise surprise the same people that hate on y’all’s relationship wish it could be theirs. people are jealous of what you’re getting with them, or “earning.” gifts and pretty things for being their spouse, it’s one of those dreams that everyone wants but only few have.
❦— king of wands. daddy warbucks himself, this person is for sure rich af. they’re someone with lots of power, lots of control, lots of fucking money lmao within their career. i don’t get that they’re ceo of wherever they work, but they have enough pull to take trips around the sun and bring you along too. “penthouse views” are included (obvi).
❦— honey. this person def has some seasoning to them, heavy dilf and silverfox vibes around their appearance. seeing a beard, low eyes, maybe even flannel shirts lmao. some of y’all have the twd cast (andrew lincoln, norman reedus, jeffrey dean morgan) and pedro pascal for face references. a rugged daddy basically😂
❦— cherries. maybe this is someone’s favorite fruit? this made me think of the tropics or places similar to the virgin islands. frequent flyer miles, traveling to visit warm beaches and clear coastal waters.
❦— hunter x chaser. this is such forty-year old energy lol it’s charming and that’s what they typically know best. your future spouse def got on your nerves with how much they kept hitting on you😂 not in a weird way, but in a way where they were intent on getting your name. i’m seeing phone number offers and warm smiles, crow’s feet around their eyes too. there is a sense of rejection here, but eventually you cave to their advances.
❦— 22. could be significant to y’all’s age gap, or maybe you’re this age at the time y’all meet. this number made me channel birthdays or special celebrations (anniversary, party, holiday etc). we’re aware of this person’s bank account lmao so it’s no surprise that they’re fond of spending whatever to throw the best whatever. “cover it all.” they’re the type to make things extra special and absolutely perfect for you, no matter the cost.
❦— awakening. this is in regards to you, how being with this person brought a rebirth that ultimately forced you to shed old skin. “Jesus.” major spiritual transitions, regardless of if you believe in higher power or not. this person is the catalyst to writing a new chapter of your life and thriving in it, you’ll be so powerful without the burden of dragging dead weight and opinions. ngl i don’t think your future spouse is meant to be longterm based on how important this transformation is for your story, i think you’ll realize that in the end. “it was fun while it lasted.” you’ll grow and reap your blessings.
end.❤️‍🔥 previous reading
1K notes · View notes
facefullofsadness · 5 months
Text
psychopathic but it's okay
band!au (lsfm girlies but in a band and y/n is the 6th member)
guitarist!yunjin x bassist!y/n
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prompt - you and yunjin are always arguing and after one argument, the latter has had it with you
content - smut (choking, degradation, overstimulation, slapping, handcuffs, cunnilingus, fingering, tribbing, multiple orgasms, jen kinda forces you into it), angst (harsh language, toxic, arguments, yelling), fluff if you squint hard
wc - 4405
author's note at the end :)
how many times just in this week have we argued already? I can't remember.
to say yunjin and I were toxic would be an understatement. it could be something wildly insignificant, but it wouldn't matter, we would be at each other's throats.
like last week when she told me to get the receipt for the takeout I ordered with kazuha and I forgot it. more like zuha did, but obviously, it was my fault because yunjin said it was.
and throughout this entire week we had been shouting at each other. any small inconvenience or misunderstanding, you name it, we argued about it. misplacing a hairbrush, accidentally eating someone's share, taking the wrong person's keys, showing up late to a meeting or practice. it was exhausting.
I can't even recall the last peaceful moment I had with this girl. it's been months of this dreadful and perpetual conflict that seemed to emerge out of nowhere, but it made me resent her in a way that I hated her guts.
I absolutely despise the way she thinks, her cocky attitude, her nonchalant responses, her dismissive demeanor, she drives me fucking insane.
which leads me to this moment, yelling at each other because she's playing ahead of the band.
"jen, play slower. you're fucking 2 seconds ahead of everyone else," I grumble, frustrated.
"oh whatever y/n, you try playing this shit. all you do is play the same bass line for 3 minutes straight," yunjin rolls her eyes back at me.
I close my eyes and bite my tongue, not wanting it to escalate, especially with the members around, "just play slower."
somehow, we moved on and all continued to practice. but this asshole never fixed her timing issue.
"yunjin, play slower!" I interrupt our practice again to yell at the girl.
she snaps her head at me, "fuck you y/n! I'm literally trying."
"but you're not though? because how are you still fucking off beat when we've been practicing this shit for weeks?!"
"oh my god, give me a break. you're so stuck up, sorry if I don't practice till the break of dawn everyday like you do. unlike you, I actually have a life, I don't have time to be a bratty perfectionist like you."
out of the corner of my eye, I see our youngest eunchae start to wanna speak up, but our leader chaewon stopping her from trying. with that, all the girls leave the room quietly as my blood boils at the words the raven-haired girl is throwing at me.
"I'm fucking stuck up? imagine having a career, THE dream job, and not even trying. you act like I don't have a goddamn life either jen, it's not my fault that I'm not lazy like you are."
the taller girl slings the guitar off her shoulder and aggressively puts it down before stomping up to me.
"I don't wanna hear your bossy mouth utter another word about my work ethic bitch. you're only so fussy about this because you don't have anything else in your life to look forward to."
"your sorry excuses are no use anymore yunjin. stop acting like you're the best when you're no better than an amateur, you're literally only here because there was no one else."
"did you want that to sting? sorry princess but that only works if it's the truth, we both know you all need me here. without me, you're nothing."
I clutch the strap of my bass and swing it off my body, immediately grabbing the collar of yunjin's shirt and pushing her back into the keyboard piano, making the stand shake.
"listen to me and listen fucking well. I can make you leave the band and you can act like it doesn't matter to you but I know you'll be devastated. I know you're just a scared little girl, too intimidated by the outside world to actually quit. you may not be scared of me which is why you don't try, but I'm exhausted of you trying to have power over me when you're just a weak sorry bitch who your parents are ashamed to care for anymore."
I struck it where it hurts because not only did I not care about if she would loathe me for my words, but I wanted it to.
suddenly, I'm being manhandled until my back falls against the couch in our practice room, yunjin's weight pressing me down. my hands struggle to push her off and break free, but her stronger grip grabs both of my wrists and pins them above my head against the arm rest of the sofa.
"fuck off of me jen!" I yell at her, body wriggling under her own.
her free hand suddenly takes hold of my neck and squeezes, forcing my throat to let out a struggled squeak and breath.
"shut the fuck up whore! I'm so tired of your yapping!" the girl above me growls and tightens her hold on both my wrists and neck.
I look up at her with fear growing in my eyes, and I can see the pure rage on her face. I'm incapable of moving my arms and hands free of her iron grip, and it steadily gets harder to breathe as I feel her nails, though short, dig into my skin.
"you're insufferable. you think I'm a weak sorry bitch with no power over you, huh? let me remind you otherwise since you're too braindead to remember how strong I am."
yunjin's gaze is wild. the fire in her eyes has no sign of calming and the clench in her jaw as she lowers her face towards mine doesn't release any tension. but as she nears herself and comes unfathomably close, there's no denying the lust that clouds her dilated pupils.
as my breathing becomes impossible and I get lightheaded, my senses increase and I can hear my own heart pounding in my ears. I can also hear her shaky breath and feel it reach my face. her knee in between my thighs presses against my core and I release a choked whimper.
"I'm gonna treat you like my own sex toy and you're gonna want me to fuck your brains out after I lay waste to your body. you are gonna be my fuck doll and you're gonna love every second of it, you hear me? dirty little slut."
I'm simultaneously terrified of the intensity and escalation of the situation, but I'm also unbelievably horny at this point. the ache in between my legs grows hot and I feel it start to throb with the way her knee digs deeper into my core.
"I can't..." I manage to choke out, pleading with the darting of my eyes focusing on her face and between her intense glare.
yunjin eventually releases tension on my throat, and I can breathe again, oxygen slowly enabling itself to run through my lungs again. the lustful stare never wavers, however, and both of our gazes are fixed on each other's eyes.
"I don't care if you can't take it, I'm gonna make you."
with that, she moves her hand, once choking my neck, and grasps around it, fingers clutching my nape, her head diving in to begin leaving sloppy kisses trailing my jaw downwards. the pressure on my airways is gone, but my breath still stops in my throat as her mouth kisses, sucks, and bites harshly at my neck.
"w-wait... don't do t-that..." I stutter, telling her to slow down or stop.
"shut the fuck up." she growls aggressively against my ear, "I'm gonna have you however I want."
there's no room for protest as I feel the hand on my neck trail down my collarbone and between my breasts, her finger circling around my right boob and going inwards, finally pinching the nipple at the middle.
"nghh.." the noise in my throat releases on its own.
"my little slut, so easy to use. why else wouldn't you wear a bra under such a mesh shirt? you wanted this so bad, didn't you?"
the treatment of my boobs and nipples harshens as she's suddenly slapping her hand against them, watching as they jiggle under my thin shirt. I yelp out in pain, still feeling my core rush with wetness.
"you're wearing too much," yunjin scoffs.
her hand pops open all the buttons of my shirt and fingers return to harassing my hard buds. my body struggles under her again as her tongue drags along my neck and across my collarbone, the sharp bites of her teeth occasionally making me tug at the harsh grip at my wrists again.
the noises of her mouth on my skin are so wet, I can even hear her heavy breathing and small moans escape, intensifying the pleasure building in my lower stomach. I can't help but release a deep groan at one of my abused nipples being enveloped by her needy mouth.
"f-fuck.. no, s-stop- ahhhh..." I try to get out.
my words are drowned out by the sounds of my whimpers growing louder and the slurping of my tit in her mouth. my eyes struggle to keep open, watching her tongue flick around my bud, yunjin switching to my other boob, repeating everything all the same.
"can you stop moving? god, I'm doing something here and your flailing is infuriating." she let's out a frustrated huff before detaching completely from my body, reaching for something underneath the couch.
my hands are free for a second before I feel cold steel capture my wrists, cuffing them together and securing them on a pipe against the wall.
"so much better." she states satisfied before bringing both her hands to slap both of the sides of my boobs.
I let out an unstable shout at the stinging pain that followed, and it only continued as she grasped at my chest with both hands and kneads at them needily.
"jen... please, ahhh.." I whimper out.
"huh? what was that y/n? you need to speak up for me." she continues her abuse on my tits as my eyes water.
"it hurts..." I manage.
"oh is that so? too bad I don't really care. after all, if I were weak, it wouldn't hurt so much right?" yunjin says in a mocking tone.
her hands become aggressive, dragging themselves down my body and grasping hard at my waist, squeezing my thighs, before landing a harsh slap on my ass, one side, then the next.
"yunjin ah! please! fuck, it hurts..."
"a powerless little girl like me shouldn't be able to harm you, right y/n-ie?"
fuck you huh yunjin.
my eyes are still squeezed shut as I feel her start to unbuckle my pants and zip them down, taking my jeans off of me. my core is absolutely throbbing with desire, panties soaked.
she places a finger at the hem of my underwear, dragging the digit down, trailing my mound, to my aching clit, through my leaking entrance, then pinching the material and letting it snap back into place, warranting a shiver down my spine at the feeling.
"I should've known a whore like you would be drenched after all that. you kick and whine about how much it hurts but look at how much you fucking love it."
it's hard to argue with her when the anticipation to feel her relieve my desire grows stronger the more she messes with me.
"don't worry darling, I'll ruin you perfectly."
I feel my panties get pushed to the side before a hot and wet muscle is felt at the base of my entrance trailing up slowly, until there's a hard suck at my bundle of nerves.
"fuckkkkk ahhhh!!!" I let out an involuntary scream at the feeling.
god it feels so good, my eyes squeezed shut as her onslaught of eating me out continues, hard and fast. she bends my knees and forces my legs apart, holding my thighs so she has free reign of my pussy.
"mmm, it's in the way," I hear her mumble before a loud tear is heard, assumedly from my panties.
I could care less when she sucks hard with her mouth over both my clit and hole, tongue darting between circling my bundle of nerves and digging into my pussy. I tug hard at my restraints, wanting so badly to grasp her luscious dark hair and push her into me.
my hips move on their own, trying to grind against her mouth, but they fail when yunjin's hands push my thighs apart again and she wraps her arms around them, hands on my waist. I force my eyes open and look down at her, what a sight.
her eyes are closed, and she looks peaceful. so unlike the rapid and desperate licking, sucking, and moaning coming out of her sinful mouth. the grip on my waist is firm but so gentle, her thumbs rubbing softly against my skin. she only takes a hand off of my waist to run fingers through her hair, pushing it back to have all the room she needs to indulge in my waterfall. yunjin definitely craved this more than me.
moans continued to slip out of my mouth, fueling her on.
"you're so delicious, this pussy is mine," I feel her mumble against my lips though still audible.
"fuck me jen, more more more, ahhh, yes, keep going just like that, oh my god!!!"
I was about to shut my eyes again until she looked up at me. through half lidded eyes, it almost looked like they were completely black, pupils so blown it was hard to tell if she was human. the desire was so fiery in her eyes and looking up at me only drew her in further, digging her face into my pussy.
her tongue dug impossibly deep into my hole, flicking wildly inside of me, making me arch my back in immense pleasure. her nose rubbing against my hot clit contributed to the build up of my impending climax.
the hold on my waist tightened, securing my hips down to the sofa, her eyes closed again as I shut my own as well, the noises coming from a mixture of my leaking pussy and her lewd slurping were indescribably orgasmic, the desperate moaning slipping from both of our mouths were borderline embarrassing if it weren't for our soundproof walls covering the sounds of sin.
"jennifer oh my god fuck fuck please, shit. b-baby... I'm, I'm gonna cum, I'm gonna cum sosososo hard..." I rambled.
I heard as I continued to incoherently mumble anything that came to mind as I felt her grip on my waist start to hurt, nails digging into my skin, making my lower half impossible to move.
"give me your cum now, let me drink you," yunjin says with the sexiest most raspy voice I've heard from her.
a low moan from deep in her throat against my pussy vibrates against my clit, her tongue thrusting into my hole repeatedly at insane speeds. it was so overwhelming and more than enough to launch me over the edge.
my vision disappeared, my body shook viscerally, my mouth fell open and loud screaming came out of it as I orgasmed with so much pleasure. I felt my pussy gush cum into yunjin's expectant mouth, her tongue continuing to flail in me. I struggle hard against the restraints still, feeling my wrists sting with every tug. I can't think straight, my body shaking with every wave of pleasure that runs through me.
I fall limp, my head shaking left to right and mumbles coming out of my mouth. yunjin calms her pace and gives kitten licks up and down my slit, lapping up any other juices I released that she missed. her grip on my waist loosens, and they caress my sides carefully. she makes her way up to meet my face, planting abnormally soft kisses in her wake, her hands softly caressing my red skin. all the slap markings, all the bites, all the hickies, all the nail marks, spots red, spots bloody, her touch eases the pain.
"y/n..." she whispers against my ear, making me shiver.
I can't even open my eyes as the exhaustion hits me hard. I hear her mess with the pipe and cuffs around my wrists before I feel my hands fall against the arm rest again, freeing my arms finally. yunjin picks both of them up and places gentle pecks all around both wrists, slowly spreading her comfort across my entire body.
"jen..." a croak somehow comes out of my mouth.
"baby..." her voice, gentle...
"are you okay angel?" she whispers loud enough for me to hear.
my heart stops beating but resumes at the speed of sound after a moment.
I can't respond, and so she comes closer to my face and cups my cheek with a careful hand, intently observing my expression and condition. I feel her thumb softly caress my bottom lip and her stare fall onto my slightly open mouth.
"I.. I'm..." I can't form another word as the exhaustion catches up and my eyes fall shut.
every other sense of mine is alert, I'm still fully conscious, but my eyes refuse to open, they simply can't. I feel yunjin come closer to me then suddenly small kisses tracing my jaw, lips against my ear.
"you can rest y/n-ie, I'll do the rest."
wait, what?
her hand that was once on my face trails down my body, tracing over all the marks again, before her slender fingers slip between my folds, causing my entire body to jolt.
"jen?!" I shriek out, my hands flying to grip her arms.
"shhh, just relax. I told you already, you're just my little sex toy, I need to get my usage out of you."
fuck, I should've known she was feigning generosity.
I had no time to respond as after gathering enough of my cum from my last orgasm, yunjin swiftly slips two fingers into my tired cunt.
"FUCK!" I scream out.
my body reacts on its own, shaking against her warm body leaning against me.
"you've got another one in you, don't you?"
her pace picks up quickly, my pussy burning at the speed. suddenly, her thumb rubs harshly against my overstimulated clit, causing me to cry out.
"t-too much! please!" I sob into her shoulder.
yunjin's body hovers over mine, holding me close. one of my hands gripping her arm pumping in and out of me, the other clutching the back of her shirt, my face wet with tears flowing in her shoulder, melting into her neck.
"you should've thought about that before you talked shit huh?"
"I- I can't!"
"I already told you I don't fucking care y/n, how many times do I have to say it?"
I feel my own tears stain the taller girl's shirt as her fingers ram into my abused hole over and over again, pulling out all the way just to slam back into me again. I scream intensely when a third finger is added, immediately hitting that euphoric spot inside.
"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck," I chant between every pump of her swift fingers.
"you truly make the perfect little cum slut don't you?"
"jen, ah, ah, ah, please, fuck..."
"what is it baby? feel it coming again?"
I moan out an incomprehensible 'yes' in response, to which I feel yunjin smile against my forehead, planting a sweet peck.
"beg me angel, beg me to keep fucking you until you cum."
my eyes roll back into my head, tears still spilling out and hands gripping for dear life. even if I wanted to beg, I don't think I'm physically capable.
her fingers still inside of me, stopping her movement on my pussy entirely, even on my clit. I whine loudly in response, legs shaking and grip tightening on her.
"no no please yunjin, I- I need you, I need you to keep fucking me. I need to finish, I need your fingers, I'm so close jinny, please please, god please let me cum. I can't, I can't take it, it hurts, it hurts so bad, jen oh god please, don't fucking stop. I need you to keep going, please don't stop now, please please jen-"
my rambling is interrupted by her fingers pounding into my cunt once again, with impossible speed, making my throat strain with another uncontrollable scream of pleasure.
"let it go, give it to me y/n. I want to feel it gush around me again, I need to feel your body fall apart."
and just as quickly as it started, it ended. an explosion of euphoria ripples through me again, I feel goosebumps form on my skin as I moan deafeningly, my fingers sinking into yunjin's body and holding on for dear life. her fingers continue to get sucked into me, clenching hard onto her long digits as she rubs my clit still.
"yes, that's my girl, give it all to me."
my body is shaking, with every subtle touch yunjin does to me, it reacts. my mouth stays open as I can feel the saliva drool out, my eyes barely open but it's no use, it's not like I can see anything clearly.
"your body is just meant for this y/n, I was right. my perfect little angel, the best fuck doll for me."
her fingers slip out of me and I grunt at the loss of fullness. out of the very small field of view I have, I watch as she sucks the juices off her fingers, closing her eyes and savoring the flavor, licking up each of them one by one.
"you're doing so well, but baby..." she leans in and mumbles against my lips, "give me one more."
there's no room for resistance as she moves to get into position. what a menace huh yunjin is. she already knows I'm fucked out of my mind that I'm physically incapable of doing anything. I've always been really sensitive and she's using that weakness against me ten fold.
I try my best to pay attention to what she's doing, watching as she slides her shorts and panties down her legs, the two articles of clothing absolutely soaked. she gets on top of me again and lifts one of my legs up, wrapping it around her waist, her straddling my pussy with her own, interlocking our legs.
"it's finally my turn. fuckkk..."
she moans out as she starts to grind her pussy against mine. every thrust makes my body jolt with overstimulation, I don't know how to take it anymore.
however, watching huh yunjin roll her hips against me, her hands placing my own on her waist, watching as she throws her head back and sweat drips down her long neck, my pleasure grows again. the woman looks ethereal riding me, using my body to get off, it's unreal how delectable watching her fuck me is.
"f-faster, h-harder, jen..." both of us look surprised when I manage to speak.
a sinister smirk crawls and spreads across the aforementioned woman's face, hands on my thighs tapping in approval, "of course darling, who am I to deny?"
and so she fucks me harder, so much harder. so much fucking faster. I immediately see stars and the squelching lewd noises of our sopping cunts fill my ears, accompanied by the pornographic moans from both of us. I feel the rhythmic pattern of yunjin's hips rolling against me with my hands on her waist.
I pull her forward against me, thrusting my own hips up into her, gaining leverage and screaming out in pleasure as our clits bump repeatedly because of this.
"fuck y/n! you're so good at this, don't... don't you dare give out on me right now, you feel too fucking incredible."
the girl above me has her head down facing my own, eyes screwed shut, face scrunched up looking focused, mouth hanging open. one of my hands feel up her body, trailing up her covered front and grazing her nipples, eliciting a groan to come from her throat. my hand cups her cheek and pulls her closer to my face, making her open her eyes and make eye contact with me.
we stare straight into each others' eyes, observing the expressions on our faces, memorizing the view forever. I hate this girl so much, I hate her with my entire being, but she's beautiful, she's goddess-like, and she's absolutely perfect in my trembling hands, looking into my eyes like I'm the only one in her world.
yunjin leans in to finally kiss me, plump and soft lips roughly clashing against my own. I desperately chase to reciprocate the passion she pushes into my mouth, forcing my tongue into her and ramming it down her throat, making her moan out. her mouth feels like heaven on earth as I melt into her delicious strawberry flavored lips, tongue and her saliva tasting like all the cum she sucked out of my cunt just moments prior.
her thrusts become sloppy and I feel my hole start to clench around nothing as we moan into each others' mouth.
"cum with me love, cum with me, please baby, I need you." her voice shaky and sounding vulnerable.
I open my eyes one last time to look up at her, eyes getting watery too. I take her bottom lip into my mouth and pull away with my teeth, letting it go with a pop.
"I'm cumming love, I'm cumming..." I warn her.
I pull her into me and hug her, embracing her tightly as she painfully grips my thighs, stilling her hips and feeling her warmth leak all over my pussy. I moan along with her, screaming out in blinding pleasure, my heat flooding both of our thighs and running down my legs, onto the couch under.
she collapses on top of me, her entire body weight covering me completely. I snuggle my face into her neck, placing soft kisses around every area I could reach.
"are you okay?" I ask softly into her ear.
I'm met with no response but soft breathing near my ear. I peer over to look at her face and she's out cold.
I giggle softly at the gorgeous woman sprawled out on top of me, legs intertwined, cum running down our legs, her lips bruised and red.
"I think I won this argument jennifer."
a/n - i'm just realizing that this barely had any actual band dynamics or anything and that makes me sad bc i love that shit so much. sob, oh well maybe another time (part???). my first idea for this concept was slow down by chase atlantic but then i switched it bc i feel like i could write a better plot for the lyric i orginally chose so stay tuned mayhaps in the future. anyways, hiiiii first post pls don't bully me tumblr is foreign land to me but writing is not though I haven't written in months 😙 enjoy first fic w my actual gf (like actually fr fr huh yunjin is my gf she proofread this-)
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