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literaphobe · 3 years

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another reason to limit the amount of white people associated w amigops/otv and friends is the stuff that’s come out about ash recently :/ like yeah people can learn and grow etc but if you’re still dropping slurs in your late 20s and casually racist even tho so many of your cc friends are poc... girl

ok im about to GO OFF im fucking pissed about little miss cigarette tray,,,, ok i’ve gotten a ???? vibe about her before a :/ vibe n it’s all the way back in rust group forming when i thought she was being a lil manipulative. n the shit she did caused so much annoying shit that literally could’ve been avoided

okay so rae corpse ash n sykkuno bump into toast n jack’s group, right? and they were all like we should all be together in one big group!!!! but then they were like wait what’s the group limit what if we don’t have enough space,,, and then they start experimenting n adding each other i guess? n it turned out they had space for everyone but one person (iirc?????) and ash suddenly was like oh it’s okay i’ll leave!!!! u can all be grouped together i don’t need to be in the group!!! n other stuff that was like v self destructive sounding n like oh no it’s ok no one wants me here anyway etc and syk was like ???? because literally no one had any plans to leave ANYONE out they were literally just trying to figure things out n suggesting ideas and she was over there tryna be the self sacrificial hero i guess?????

and then. people in chat got really mad and toxic hating on rae and sykkuno in their chats yelling about how ash was being forcefully left out or whatever which wasn’t the case at all n wouldn’t have been if she didn’t give that impression??? and then RAE thought that ash was GENUINELY getting excluded which made her ACTUALLY mad at her friends?????? who did nothing wrong???????? and then like weeks later when they talked about this ash was like “oh actually i was super upset about getting left out :/ but it’s all good now!!!” like GOD. NO ONE WAS TRYING TO LEAVE YOU OUT. U LITERALLY IMMEDIATELY STARTED ACTING LIKE SOME SELFLESS VICTIM N REMOVED URSELF WHEN NO ONE TOLD YOU TO LEAVE?? anyway at the time i gave her the benefit of doubt that she wasn’t doing it on purpose since i thought she was ‘nice’ but u know what? it’s a fucking ugly look that a white woman got a bunch of streamers of color hate for “bullying” her and “excluding” her when she was literally the one who chose to walk away n act selfless WHEN NO ONE ASKED HER TO DO THAT

anyway now that i’ve got that off my chest let’s talk about her racist ass comments in her community discord. she essentially made a bunch of anti-asian remarks, specifically many anti-chinese ones (1. i had Chinese food earlier maybe that’s why I feel sick lol 2. making fun of Chinese people for supposedly eating bats 3. calling corona the bat soup virus 4. continuing to be grossed out by what Chinese/Asian people supposedly eat and being all ‘oh maybe i’m just weird w food tho :/‘ n letting people get away w responding to her saying ‘Asians eat a lot of weird stuff no no u r fine!!’ + ‘Chinese people n their food bruh’ which. just. i am very disgusted 5. ‘guys my cup was made in China am I corona infected’ + some other stuff i’m too tired to recap here look at this twitter link)

she also talked about how the BLM protests were.... stupid..... and called people idiots for protesting......... said there was ‘a right and wrong way to protest and this is wrong’ and ‘it’s not like we just can’t have police officers’ ,,,,,, so yeah. and she also said the r word and she called someone the f slur on stream once and uh..... yeah she sucks!

honestly the shit cherry on top of this shit sundae is that she literally profits off asian aesthetics w her anime bitch ass v tuber thing n other stuff on her stream n her twitter handle is literally SUGOI_ASH??? also like otv n friends is a mostly Asian friend group who propelled her lily white ass to success???? she mooched off the success of streamers of color only to say racist ass shit like this???

anyway. she “apologized” by saying “I GUESS i’m sorry for being ignorant n I’m sorry IF YOU WERE OFFENDED. ANYWAY–“ and moved the fuck on and like just. fuck off w that shit. it pains me that she managed to get a larger following from all this in the few months she’s hung out w otv n friends and sydney a black bi streamer literally has less followers on twitch? like what the fuck is up with that make it make sense??? anyway i hope everyone unfollows ash tray n follows Sydeon on twitch instead :-)

also idk how many people in otv + friends know about this. i highly doubt there will be a dramatic kick out of ash from their friend group if it becomes a thing they all know about. i think ever since they kicked out f*dmyster they’re a little traumatized about having to publicly remove anyone from their circle in general? because many other streamers n content creators will jump on it and comment on it very heavily and make them all very vulnerable n i def don’t want that or expect that either. i hope they play w ash less from now on tho? some people commented that in the corpse lobby yesterday it seemed like people weren’t interacting w ash as much? idk if that’s really the case but i will respect whatever they choose to do if they even know what happened,, i guess if i see her show up in future lobbies i’ll just like ignore her lol

#ask #amigops

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shoichee · 4 years

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GoMs + Kagami as Persona Users

Headcanons on the Generation of Miracles (and Kagami) if they were to become a persona user in the world of the Persona series (Kuroko and Momoi included)

@akichan-th THIS IS FOR YOU

Warning: KNB series spoilers !!

Kuroko Tetsuya

since his presence is nonexistent in the real world, as a phantom thief, he’d probably desire to be a noticeable hero, you know? even in the 22.5 OVA, he told Kise that passing around wasn’t fun but he was going to do it for the sake of the team

his phantom thief outfit would be flashy in a sense of maybe eye-catching color schemes, or bold patterns

his attire could be baggy/oversized navy blue/black street clothing with TASTEFUL neon-colored accents and his mask would be a neon-colored huge sports shades/goggles situation (i was about to say some trendy sunglasses but sunglasses don’t stay on at all); he’s a skater boy ???? basically??

like, his PT attire could very well be a Persona 5 Dancing in Starlight DLC outfit 👀 it has those vibes

persona element is curse and let me explain why: he doesn’t have the gifted physique like the other GoMs and he’s cursed to rely on others for him to make a difference, and his motif has always been “shadow” ALSO he’s the PHANTOM sixth player YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

he’s a front-line battler, but his skills are very support heavy: support skills that increase attack and defense for his teammates; i also wanna say he has spells that inflict dizziness ailments because in the anime, players are always losing their shit and whipping their heads around to find this tiny boy LMAO

he would definitely have a signature move that would direct all enemy attacks and status moves to himself for a set amount of turns to aid his teammates

his persona would have an extremely high Endurance and higher than average Luck stat but everything else is an all-time low

i’m going to say it, his shooting weapon is gonna be a paintball gun filled with neon paint just to fuck with the shadows and still make it HURT

code name would be “Umbra” (which means innermost part of a shadow) or “Ghost;” imagine some PT member shouting, “Oh no! Umbra’s knocked down!” and all the shadow sees is this brightass, neon kid on the floor

i would love his codename to be “Shadow” but there’s already the term shadow to describe the monsters in the metaverse

Kise Ryota

he views a “rebel” as your basic punk

since he’s a model, he knows japanese punk fashion very well

guess who’s gonna come into the metaverse being this hot ass punk boy? Kise motherfucking Ryota

black spike collar

lots of those tiny chains and harness/buckle action somewhere

ripped black leather pants that give Joker’s own leather pants a run for its money PLUS WITH SHINY BLACK BELT

lots of patchwork and stuff

THIS IS WHAT MORE OR LESS I’M TALKING ABOUT IF YOU WANT VISUAL REFERENCES

his mask would totally be a visor goggle to add further to the punk theme

part of me is biased that Kise is a blondie and “kise” is based off of “yellow” and Ryuji is blonde and so now i headcanon him as the electric element

okay, but since he’s an “all-rounder” he’ll probably be able to access mid-tier level attacks of all elements, including almighty to an extent

but if i was basing his element off of personality, he’d be ice for sure; he’s actually cold-hearted to people whom he doesn’t consider “worthy” and the anime only showed his friendly side because most of the time, he’s shown talking to his friends and people he respects

speaking of all-rounder, his stats would be all high all around, with his Magic stat peaking the highest

Midorima Shintarou

this boy is a bit tricky to figure out what his PT attire would be

he doesn’t have any time to think about “what he would be as a rebel” type of thing

however, if he were to desire to become something, i’d say he would want to be a supernatural being who can distribute good luck for himself every day

think of those JRPG wizard/mage/warlock outfit motifs (and they match up nicely with the idea of astrology and horoscopes); probably lots of brown/beige/hues of green scheme? or a black/various colors of purple for a FULL on witch vibe

it makes sense too because as someone who always shoots from afar and never dunks, mage classes always cast from afar and never attack up close to their opponent

and his frog puppets remind me of a witch’s animal familiars LMAO

there you have it

his mask would be a dark dark purple or a pure black domino mask that has little stars littered sparingly everywhere on said mask

his shooting weapon? my guy is stacked on staves ready to cast long-range spells

wind element for sure (because his basketball shots all catch air with lots of hang time | (• ◡•)|) with tons of gun skills

signature move would be a magic skill that never misses no matter what (his range is the entire metaverse)

his persona stats are also pretty well rounded but his highest stats would be Magic and Luck, with Endurance being a close runner up

Aomine Daiki

also hard to figure out a PT attire for this guy

according to KUROFES, his alternative career would be a police officer so i would think he despises criminals and the Phantom Thieves altogether ?

if anything, he’s more suited for the S.E.E.S. investigation team in Persona 3

Aomine doesn’t give a fuck, but he has a soft spot to protect others so like having a gun evoker definitely suits him more than a mask summon BRJWBDJW

i see him as a fire element, but his persona would have a lot more physical skills than anything else

bonus: since he used to be Kuroko’s “light,” he can have some mid-tier level bless skills

to make a reference his “formless” shots and forms, as well as his rapid changes of pace, his signature move would be a 5-hit physical skill that changes targets with every hit

statwise, his Agility stat is the highest out of everyone in the GoM, and his Strength and Endurance would be runner up stats; his Magic stat would be extremely dismal

Murasakibara Atsushi

this guy thinks about nothing but food and how he hates Teppei-species people basketball, so honestly he’s not interested in the Phantom Thieves business

like what? Murasakibara dressed in a getup? it’s a big “press X to doubt”

so i envision him to be more suitable for Persona 4, where he has to confront the other self that loves basketball and truly does care about people, and he had to be honest and accept that side for him to attain a persona

would he ever go back to the said “persona world” to go fight some shadows? unless there’s a good reason why he should or you bribed him with snacks, he won’t budge an inch

just give this man a Persona 4 school uniform and he’s ready to fight

his persona would primarily have physical skills, with lots of “wall” support skills, element “break” skills, and lots of passive skills (lots of nulls/resists) available for it to learn

highest stat for him would be Strength, then Endurance, and surprisingly have Agility as the runner up

he’s a huge tank of a persona user

Akashi Seijuro

i’ve talked about his PT outfit in this headcanon here, including his mask and why

hear me out, since this man is good at everything in school, and since there are archery clubs in Japanese schools, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was a Robin Hood with the scopes; what am i tryna say? his shooting weapon would be bow & arrows

i feel like people would automatically think he’s a bless/curse element like Akechi since “he has two sides,” but i feel like it’s not exactly right? if anything, i headcanon him to be more of a psychokinesis element

why? i want to attribute that to his emperor’s eye and his perfect passings, both each specialties from their respective “sides” of Akashi, and that requires extreme precision, almost to the level of “telepathy”

there’s also everyone thinking he can see the future too i mean

in the end, Akashi’s dual sides merged into one again, so having a whole bless/curse element wouldn’t even make sense anymore

but i will say, this man deserves to have a persona with almighty skills back to back

this guy isn’t the captain for no reason

so his persona would utilize psychokinesis and almighty skills, with special buff skills that increase critical rates for his allies (to refer to the fact that his passings enhance other players); his persona would also enjoy a large selection of passive skills to choose from to either be ultimate support or ultimate offensive sweeper

to also reiterate from the mentioned headcanon i linked, his code name would either be “Crimson” or “Scarlet”

his persona is a literal glass cannon, referring to the fact that Akashi is actually a mentally fragile basketball player; extremely high Strength, Magic, and Agility (but not as high as Aomine though) stats, average Luck stat, but extremely low Endurance stat

Momoi Satsuki

Momoi, i think, would envision herself in the metaverse as someone who’s never underestimated because of her usual demeanor or physical looks

even me, i got fooled thinking she was just only a fanservice girl and not this incredibly intelligent girl who was critical to her teams’ successes

so i would think she would imagine herself to be in a huge respectable position of power, like a lieutenant or general, who can command others and strategize to victory

her outfit would be similar to the attire from the Assassin’s Faith set from Love Nikki with the black Army Floppy Hat from the Army Major set on top (also from Love Nikki)

color scheming i can imagine a lot of black/white with gold trimmings/accents here and there

her mask is a Venetian eye mask i can literally see it; it’s so pretty with the gold plating !!

her role would definitely be a navigator + analyzer/tactician from the backlines, so while she isn’t in the battle most of the times, if worse comes to shove, she’ll be in the frontlines as a last resort

in other words, she’s a Futaba, but she isn’t a sitting duck and can fight if needed

she has an incredible Luck stat, higher than average Agility stat, but average stats for the rest (Magic, Strength, and Endurance)

ailment, healing, support, and buff skills are all at her disposal, along with some gun skills (which can definitely be broken when paired with her high Luck stat)

“Duchess” (a woman having a noble rank) would be a really cute codename for her

Kagami Taiga

why do i literally see him as a shinobi (ninja)

i have no idea why i do, but i think it’s just his name:

“While Kagami's name is associated with the ‘tiger’, Himuro's name means ‘dragon’. In Chinese mythology, the Azure Dragon of the East and the White Tiger of the West are eternal rivals. This rivalry is further expressed in their surnames: ‘Hi (氷)’ means ‘ice’ while ‘Ka (火)’ translates as ‘fire’.” - KNB wiki

so i literally see both Himuro and Kagami as rival clans duking it out

jokes aside, Kagami is a very honorable player, but he did at one point exhibited a “darker side” to himself, playing selfishly and being arrogant in the beginning

shinobis were considered to be “dishonorable” and “beneath the honor” of the samurai in their eras, so i feel that this could be a great image for what Kagami thinks is a “rebel”

being a ninja would make use of his jumping skills too

i imagine him in a fitted black halter neck top (so his abs are for us to see), with an iconic long red scarf wrapping his neck and hanging down to his waist at the back side

black forearm guards/wraps?

and then he has mahogany/dark red??/black???? loose cloth wrapped around his waist, like how you would tie a jacket over your waist ?? and then black nu-bakama pants and finally some dark boots for those pants to be tucked in

no one can convince me otherwise, but he’s gotta have a red full-face oni mask with black horns and some golden tiger stripes on the sides of the mask and around the eyes

HIS PERSONA ELEMENT IS BLESS BECAUSE HE IS KUROKO’S “LIGHT”

he would totally have some almighty skills and “Heat Riser,” a move that raises all of the user’s attack, defense, and accuracy/evasiveness (because the colors of the move’s animation remind me of Direct Drive Zone, something that was pretty much unlocked by Kagami for the team)

his persona is one of the OP/late game personas where all their stats are amazing across the board; even if his stats were high all around, his “lowest” would be his Luck stat

codename for him is “Tiger” no one cannot argue with me for this one NRNEIJFEO

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durogatorymortain · 3 years

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thank you for tagging me @waybaben @natesewell @raleighcarrera !!! 💞

rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

i am 100% sure that everyone i would think to tag has been tagged already but if you see this and want to do it dm me and i’ll formally tag u here <3

name/nickname: bailey, no nickname

gender: cis woman (she/her) but gender is weird

star sign: taurus ! most ppl aren’t surprised by that lmfao

height: 5’3 but my internet friends say i have tall energy so that’s all that matters

birthday: may 20

lucky number: 7

when did you create this blog: literally this tuesday FNFJNDFHBDJS

what do i post: mostly reblog art ? honestly i have no idea what the twc fandom does in between waiting for mishka to release new books (aside from whitewash and argue) but ig i’ll find out soon

last thing i googled: how to add a read more on tumblr mobile bc i don’t post from my phone too often lmfaoo

do i get asks: i have yet to get an ask on this blog yet 💔 who tryna be my first

why did i choose my url: i’m an adam romancer and i’m not proud

my current projects and wips: ummm so there’s some appreciation weeks for choices happening soon that i’m working on stuff for, but as for twc, i’m working on this edit for my detective and i hope to post the PSD on here so other ppl can use it so stay tuned ig lmfao

favorite artist(s) (atm): meg thee stallion, my top and loml. britney spears ofc and uhhh i listen to a lot of alt rock as well but i’m spacing out rn

song stuck in my head: roaring 20s by flo milli. do ur self a favor and listen to it rn

favorite song: umm it always changes but rn ‘if you seek amy’ by britney spears ..... no song has had the same cultural impact as that

last movie: home alone 2: lost in new york aka the best home alone movie no i won’t argue this

last show: i watched the first episode of wandavision ♥️

favorite food: i’m spacing rn but i like a lot of fruit!!! cherries, plums, and blueberries to name a few

food i hate: honestly i’m a pretty picky eater this is hard to answer

favorite color: pink 💕

favorite animal: dogs i think they can smell my depression so they love me lmfao but also uh elephants ig they’re cute

what i’m currently wearing: wouldn’t you like to know 🤪 lmfao a hoodie, sweatpants, and crocs i’m v comfortable rn

dream job: i want to be a screenwriter !!!! or just work in film in general

dream trip: 2020 was my graduation year so my family was gonna go to prague and a few other countries last summer rip . i hope we can go soon !

currently reading: ummmmm so you see i’m in between books right now .... FBJDBFHEJDHS no but the next book i’m gonna read is called a plague on your houses. it’s about the fires that ravaged communities of color in nyc in the 70s and 80s. i’m hoping it’s a good book

currently thinking about: how i need a job 💔

nationality: american

fun fact: sophie turner told me i was hot

top three fictional universes: monster inc. cinematic universe, the emperors new groove cinematic universe, wizards of waverly place / suite life / hannah montana / that’s so raven universe. yes these are my actual answers no i’m not taking any questions

#about me #*tag game

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lunatheweirdalien · 4 years

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You can’t be pro-black but not stand for ALL black people

I will be calling out my own community, the Black community, for all the problematic things that goes on within and holds us back from truly being free. Transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, anti-lgbtq+ sentiments, bullying nonconventional fellow black people, not taking mental health seriously, not letting little girls be little girls, the list is literally endless.

From personal experience and from seeing what other people go through, I think it’s time (well it’s actually been time) for fellow black people to start the process of decolonizing your minds and cleansing your spirits of what colonizers have taught you. There is nothing wrong with being lgbtq+, but you guys make it out to be. You always go with the same excuse “In the bible, it says being gay is sin.”...... HUH? Since when were you a church-goer? Since when did you follow the bible? Lets be honest. Come on now. You drink, you have pre-marital sex, you have tattoos, you talk shit about other people, you do all the things the bible tells you NOT to do, but WOAHHH! Since I love women, you’re suddenly worried about sinning?

How are you going around saying, “Oh I’m pro-black, I’m for my people,” yet you bully and beat on gay boys? You try to “change” a gay woman’s mind because you think she just didn’t have the right man in her life? Why do you assault trans women and men for being who they are? You not pro-black. You not for the people. You for the cisgender hetero black folks. You’re for the “conventional” black folks. You are erasing your queer history, yes I said it. YOUR queer history. Some of the things you have wouldn’t have been without queer Black people. You wouldn’t have your rights (Bayard Rustin, Ernestine Eckstein, Angela Davis) education (Audre Lorde), a voice in politics (Barbara Jordan, Andrea Jenkins), rock music ( Sister Rosetta Tharpe), Pride itself (Marsha P Johnson, Sylvia Rivera), dancing specifically Voguing (Willi Ninja), the list of queer contributions is endless! We have helped with so many things that is our history, but you choose to hate us? To look down on us, for what? What is the reason? We have contributed to the history of Black folks, without us you wouldn’t have some of the things have today.

“Why don’t you listen to black folks music?” “Why do you listen to that White people music?” “Why do you like that Asian stuff so much?” “Why you tryna be White?” Those phrases and words of variations have been heard by countless of Black individuals who aren’t your “conventional” Black individuals. First of all, rock/metal is not white people music. Yes, it was taken over by them, but they are not creators/pioneers. There are plenty of diverse groups out there that don’t get the recognition they deserve. You have people like NovaTwins, Sevendust, Vodun, Body Count, Straight Line Stitch, and so on who are changing what it means to a black, alternative person in the music scene. There needs to be more intersectionality in this scene. I’m tired of seeing only white faces in the mainstream.

You have Black people policing other Black people on being Black? Isn’t that what we are trying to fight AGAINST? Is that what the outsiders are doing and what we are fighting against? Why are you doing this in your own community? Why does me liking anime, liking kpop, metal, rock, alternative fashion make me less Black? Why does me being genderfluid and queer not sit well with you? I’m not bothering nobody. I’m minding my business. Why does me wanting to color my hair make me “fast” or “grown”? Why aren’t you protecting me from the people who are predators? Why aren’t you protecting little black girls from the predatory men who think expressing themselves is sign of prey? Why is it that Black girls can’t be themselves? They can’t like things without having to lessen their blackness? Make it make sense.

I know this was a small post, but these kind of topics need to be verbally held as well. This was something to get the conversation going.This is only the TIP of the iceberg. This is only the exterior. We as a community need to dive deep into ourselves, we need to have discussions and educate one another on matters like these and beyond. There’s so much work that needs to be done. We need to do the unlearning and re-educating of our people. If you really are pro-black, you are pro-black for EVERY individual, regardless of sexuality, regardless of religion, regardless of gender, regardless of anything that is not seen as being “conventionally black”. Please feel free to bring up more issues that should be talked about.

Sending love,

Luna

#blackcommunity #blacklivesmatter #black people #blackwriters #blogger #bloggers #alternative #community #alternative community #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbt content #lgbtq discourse #discussion #talking #listen #metal

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oliviersk · 5 years

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yoyoyo wassup peeps its moosh back w another muse. i rlly couldn’t resist ik ugh but!! anyways here’s olivier, she’s my bby pls show her some love yes. here is a link to her full bio but there’s a tl;dr under the cut as well as wanted connects!

✧･ﾟ( apate + moon gayoung + cismale ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !! have you seen ( olivier kang ) around ? ( she ) have/has been in kaos for ( three months ). the ( twenty three ) is a/an ( socialite/classical musician ) from ( paris, france ). people say they can be ( calculating ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be ( eloquent ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of ( the waft of perfume when you walk into a department store, perfectly manicured nails, and black waves cascading down one’s shoulder ). ･ﾟ✧ ( penned by moosh, 21+, est, no preference ).

aesthetics.

STATS

name: olivier kang age: twenty three gender/pronouns: cisfemale & she/her orientation: bisexual & demiromantic ethnicity: korean nationality: french height: 5′6″ eye color: brown hair color: black languages: korean, french, & english class: upper

HISTORY/SUMMARY

tw: child abuse, suicide attempt, and death.

her family is honestly a mess. she grew up with mostly female figures in her life. no dad, uncle, grandpa, none. grew up insanely rich as well. was always silenced as a kid and placed into a mold. she figured out pretty quickly to behave and shut up or face the consequences. family was quite controlling and olivier wasn’t allowed to grow into her own person. while she never got along with her mother, she cried and cried at her funeral ( olivier was 12 at the time ). her grandmother didn’t really like it and rebuked her for losing her composure. attempted suicide at around 17 and as punishment, her grandmother did not allow her to attend her dream school in america ( which she had gotten accepted into ), but made her attend a closer college, with her chauffeur shuttling her back and forth ( 2 hours ) right after classes so she could keep a close eye on her. her grandmother soon falls when crimes from years ago service and sufficient evidence is obtained for a trial and olivier, finally free, chooses to do something for herself for the first time in her life, and moves to kaos.

PERSONALITY

like everyone, olivier has two different aspects of herself, one for the public and one for the ones who know the deepest parts of her.

she’s very eloquent, not only in her word choice but also her voice ( she’s gotten many compliments on now soothing and gentle it sounds ). doesn’t smile too easily, but doesn’t mean that its always genuine when you receive one. there’s something almost ethereal about her presence, as if she’s not fully there or she could be gone with one gust of wind. there’s a sweet, gentle, but firm aspect of her that confuses most people. they don’t know whether to relax or tighten up around her.

underneath all the sugar and spice, she’s much more sinister, cunning, and calculating than the eye lets on. a sweet tone can be taken on when shredding someone down, complete with a sugary smile. setting up the pieces and watching the world tear itself down is one of her favorite past times. her tone is sweet while the most vicious words leave her mouth, with anger never manifesting physically besides the trembling of her fingers. she’s come too far to let petty emotions get the better of her.

further underneath is a girl who’s truly terrified of the world. it’s never been kind to her, and she can’t blame it, as she’s never put forth good energy. the lack of structure she’s facing now that her grandmother is gone is freeing, but completely terrifying, like being dropped in the middle of the ocean with no sense of direction. with her life in her own hands, she has no idea what to do with it, and it frightens her to her core. it’s probably why she lashes out and likes to watch as people ruin themselves. in a weird way, it makes her feel less lonely, which is why she’s drawn to disorder.

ik her personality is like all out of wack pls lmk if its confusing!!!

HEADCANONS

hates hates hates nicknames. call her olivier or don’t talk to her at all. ( sihyun is the only exception to this rule but he still receives death glares ).

while she did live in paris, her first language and the language most frequently spoken at home was korean, so she is most comfortable in korean, though french and english were taught to her by a young age as well.

out of all the things she hated doing as a kid, violin and piano are the only hobbies that really stuck around. she still practices on the daily and a lot of activities have to be thought over twice because strain off her fingers/wrists is very important.

dabbled in drugs and such in high school ( abroad ). while it allowed her to alleviated the stress she didn’t like the fact that it took bodily control away from her, so never did it too often.

has anxiety that flares up from time to time in forms of attacks ( big and small ) so she takes medication for it, but not many people know.

going off of that, she sometimes has attacks when thinking about her future. it’s not what lies ahead that frightens her but the lack of structure she now has due to the absence of her grandmother. the security that had been there, no matter how restraining, now makes her feel like shes drowning in endless possibilities and its too much for her to swallow sometimes.

majored in classical literature and classical music. its one of the easiest conversation starters because she could go on and on for hours about old, dead writers.

isn’t one for pastries but she absolutely loves fruit tarts. it’s the only sugary thing she’ll let herself eat.

her hair is surprisingly naturally brown but she dyes it black because she thinks it suits her better.

has a ring from her mother that she wears around her neck. has a very odd relationship with her mother, and is still coming to terms with it.

completely scrapped her house before she moved to kaos. removed everything and sold the land. has left her job running the company and literally everything behind except her inheritance and the money she received while on the job + the house. it’s enough money to last her a lifetime but finds herself bored in kaos with nothing to do, so she’s begun giving lessons ( sparingly ). sight sees a lot but is thinking of taking on a role in the orchestra in town sooner or later.

always smell like chanel no 5.

loves taking baths. bubbles, wine, classical music, candles, and herself ( or maybe someone to share the fun with ).

isn’t vegan but eats meat sparingly, mostly because she usually doesn’t like the texture or taste of most meats.

literally never curses. you can usually tell how angry she is if a curse manages to slip past.

enjoys writing poetry but its mostly just for her. a leather bound book filled with her work lays on her desk every night, but they are often tear soaked and unable to fully comprehend unless you know who she truly is.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

first love ( female ). def have some ideas for this so lmk. plot heavy.

someone she teaches piano/violin to

someone from back home who knew her before and doesn’t like her. maybe boarding school buddies from middle/high school?

someone she “gets along with” and is using for some reason

her old money squad from back home. they’re lowkey kinda fake to each other but also kinda mean

was really close friends but had a falling out ( prolly cause she did something shady or something she thought was the best for them but it wasn’t. may or may not regret it ).

somebody her grandmother set up for her to date ( male )

there was one night during one event where olivier really hit it off with this person. they snuck out of the event and roamed around the city in formal attire, ate pizza at a local place, etc. etc. but it was a a year or two ago n they never exchanged numbers. now theyre both in kaos.

someone who has a crush on her but wont tell for some reason. or maybe they will tell. maybe she knows and shes playing dumb or maybe she genuinely doesn’t.

on a similar note, someone tryna get her to smash. she doesn’t sleep around at all, finds it undignified, but this person’s determined to get to bone.

people who have seen the real her and hate her for that reason. on the flip side, people who have seen the real her and still stick around for some reason.

#kaos:intro

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outrotearbias · 5 years

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@mccnhild tagged me in a few tags and 1) thank you!!! 2) since i’m apparently incapable of not talking abt myself on all platforms including what was meant to be a thirst blog for bts, but i haven’t actually like. said any concrete facts about myself lmao i figured i should actually talk about myself on here?? so this is a good opportunity to do that

uh well the first one is the bias selfie tag and everyone else might be cute enough to do that but i would honestly rather swallow a bee whole than directly compare myself to yoongi LIKE. i just. no. so i’ll just post a selfie. i almost never take pictures of myself so i really did not have much to choose from, ignore the janky lipstick and extremely yellow light lmao. i took these on the night that i went to go see burn the stage and YES i looked and felt extremely out of place #armysneedgothrepresentation

hate that these are so large but idk how to work tumblr despite having it since 2010

“get to know me” tag:

Nicknames/Pet names: literally so boring lmfao, just em or emmy (although if you do call me emmy and you’re not a close family member i will be legally obliged to murder you). my grandma calls me milunia sometimes which is like a polish nickname for emily i think? that’s probably my only nickname that i actually like the sound of

Zodiac: this might get me killed for admitting this on tumblr dot com but i could literally care less about astrology. i’m a taurus but i don’t rly identify w it or care

Height: like 5′3.75 and yes i’m pretentious for not just saying 5′4 but that’s my truth

Last Movie: i literally never watch movies uhhh i think the last one was venom? i hate marvel movies normally but i will literally endure anything for tom hardy

Last Thing I Googled: "movies 2018″ bc i knew the last movie i watched was pretty recent but i couldn’t remember it lmfao

Favorite musician: radiohead, city and colour, alexisonfire, daughter, and this group that’s called bts i think???

Songs Stuck In My Head: desire by ateez, their new album BANGS and this song in particularly is so catchy

Other Blogs: @thedalishelves is my main and @calebandnott is my semi/mostly-inactive critical role blog. i’ve had like a billion others but those are the ones that are (ostensibly) active

Do I Get Asks?: i used to a lot but all of the blogs i got a lot of asks on are either deleted or i don’t use them much anymore. i do kinda miss it sometimes but also now no one asks me to diagnose them or tells me their trauma in detail so it’s a toss up really

Dream Trip: i have a phobia of traveling lmfao so it’s more about who i’m with rather than the destination? like i don’t really care at all about seeing new places, more about just being with someone that i like away from daily life for a bit. that being said i do wanna go to paris before i die. also italy and poland to like. connect w my ancestry or w/e lmfao

Amount of Sleep: when i just let my body do its thing (which has been almost all the time lately as i don’t have classes any more and my job has irregular hours) i naturally sleep for abt 9-10 hours. and yes that’s a lot and YES it sucks

Lucky Number: i mean it’s not lucky but i have a Thing abt the number 3 in certain situations

What I’m Wearing: sweats and hoodie bc i’m at home and if u wear anything other than comfy clothes at home. i have nothing to say to u

Favorite food: don’t rly have one atm

Dream job: english professor!!! i’m nearly half way through my phd so. almost there! (if any jobs ever open up 💀💀💀 might get to fulfill this dream in about 40 years or so)

Play any instruments: i used to play the piano and the baritone (lmfao) but i’ve long abandoned them

Languages: obvs english, EXTREMELY bad french that i can passably read, sort of write, almost completely cannot speak and definitely cannot understand. also i took a year of arabic during my undergrad but i only remember how to kind of read the alphabet. and i have a pretty sizable polish vocabulary (considering i don’t speak it) but absolutely do not know ANY grammar, so the best i could do is throwing random polish words into english sentences. so. basically just english and reading in french

Random fact: *vegan voice* HI I’M A VEGAN

15 questions tag:

Are You Named After Someone: yeah emily brontë bc my mom loved wuthering heights lmfao. in hindsight.. really indicative of how my life would turn out (both in the whole ‘i love reading and i’m doing an english phd’ thing and also the gothic tragic horror lmfao)

When was the last time you cried: yesterday about 461 times. sometimes it be like that

Do You Have Kids: yes one beautiful little tabby cat named faye, i adopted her in august and she’s 3 years old now and extremely annoying and also perfect

Do You Use Sarcasm A Lot: i used to a lot more but now i’m too paranoid abt people hating me and thinking i’m negative so i try not to

What’s the First Thing You Notice About Someone: if they’re a threat or not (either in the immediate physical sense, like seeing someone walking down the street towards me, or in the more complicated sense that i can’t be bothered getting into now and yes i’m aware this is a depressing answer)

Eye Color: dark green

Scary Movie or Happy Ending: what a weird thing to juxtapose lmfao ig i’m a bit too much of a wimp to watch scary movies often so happy ending? i’m really not one to need happy endings in a movie/story though

Any Special Talents: I Cannot Stress Enough How Untalented I Am. anything that i’m good at is due to dedicating A LOT of time and practice to it.

Where Were You Born: toronto

Hobbies: video games are definitely my main hobby. other than like, listening to music and indulging in whatever obsession i currently have (like bts for instance) all i do is play video games. reading isn’t a hobby anymore, bc even though it occupies most of my time, it’s all for school

Pets: seems pretty redundant to ask about children and pets in one tag. but in addition to my own cat, my family also has a cat named chloe who is super gross but also i love her to death and i think she might actually be an angel. if you could not tell i am completely a cat person and plan on adopting 300

How Tall Are You: let’s go w the less pretentious answer of 5′4 this time even if it’s 0.25″ short of the truth

What Sports Do You Play/Have You Played: LMMMMAAAAOOOOOOOOOO DO I LOOK LIKE

Favorite Subject: i mean. english. obviously

Dream Job: since i already answered this let’s really get wild w the “dream” part of dream job. i would absolutely love to somehow become extremely rich through no work of my own, move to an isolated castle w a really big library, wifi, and like. idk an archery range and some stables w horses and a lot of cats and an incredibly hot gameskeeper that i have a passionate but somewhat detached love affair with. like i’m tryna live like a combination of enya and lady chatterley from lady chatterley’s lover except w/out the shitty husband and class critiques and soul-destroying ennui

HOO BOY i really wrote way too much huh. i’m too avoidant to tag ppl but if u read that whole mess i owe u my whole life thank u

#i don't think i've posted selfies on this blog and i probably shouldn't be worried abt it bc whatever everyone has a face but u know #i really do love tags though i like talking about myself way too much to be healthy 💀#so thank u for tagging me marylet i enjoyed it!! i liked your answers too also absolutely buckwild learning ppl's heights you're so small!!!#granted i am only 2.75 inches taller as i mention multiple times in this tag haha

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vkr-kayne · 6 years

Text

Dark Silence train of thought

Hi I am freaking out, how are you? these are my million mph thoughts if you’d like to read a huge fuckin brain dump, cool

EDIT: this got very long I’m soRRY FJALKFD

Who was that really at the end with Anti??? was it Chase or Jack?? bc we heard a bunch of children’s voices, and still no true confirmation that Jack’s woken up from a coma yet

was this in real life or some kind of weird dimension? could it be a nightmare or a vision during a coma?

ANTI WHAT THE FUCK

if the glitch bitch does ANYTHING to Chase’s children i will immediately unstan him

FULL-BODY ANTI

what if there’s some weird fuckin twist where that somehow wasn’t actually Anti at the end?? rational thoughts are failing me so idk if that’s even possible but??? aaaAAHHHHh???

so light changes are a sign of Anti?

WHERE THE FUCK IS JACKIEBOY MAN IN THIS MESS

OR MARVIN

OR JJ ACTUALLY

THE FUCK

Jack’s acting is absolutely incredible and I want to hug that man for all of this. Signe’s camera work is beyond amazing and I would like to hug her too. Robin’s editing is fucking insane for this and sells the atmosphere better than anything I’ve ever seen for him being the only person working on it, and I want to hug that cube man as well.

im supposed to be studying calculus whoopsies

that aint gonna happen

“aint” has the same letters as “anti” oh my god

Is Anti currently going after Chase or Jack? or is he somehow able to go after both simultaneously?

THAT FUCKING LENS FLARE

I feel like a fool for writing out a theory last week about why Anti wouldn’t appear

Anti just came in and bitchslapped that shit outta here

I am deceased

Jack I fucking love/hate you right now

I am super glad that Mayhem2k18 is still officially happening and didn’t end on that depressing vid of Chase

it makes a lot of sense that pink/red colors are associated with Anti since that’s literaLLY THE INVERSE OF GREEN

THEY’RE GODDAMN OPPOSITES SO OF GODDAMN COURSE THEY’D HAVE OPPOSITE GODDAMN COLORS GODDAMNIT

why is Anti barefoot. just.... why

he’s gonna go slappin all over Jack’s floors

unless he has socks on to keep them lil feetsies warm

don’t want a cold demon boi with cold demon toesies

all of the frames from the glitches are either terrifying nightmare fuel or extremely derpy looking. there is no in-between.

fucking hell Robin just how long did this take to edit???

BLOOPERS

why doesn’t Anti have a cut on his neck? is this before Say Goodbye even happened? or can he heal from that?

what if it’s not Anti at all?

I already asked that earlier fuck

building off of earlier thoughts: what exactly do the children’s voices mean? are they Chase’s kids (it better fucking not be), or just a manifestation of Jack’s fears and he always hears when Anti’s around?

the whispers in this video were the same as the one’s from Stories Untold 4 so... we were seeing the nightmare he woke up from, then?

I hate whispering sounds apparently

not like... in an “oh no teh whisper are scawy DX” kinda way

but i just.... mmmm nope, do not like

that better not be another fuckin auditory trigger, brain; you’ve made enough of those, we don’t need normal things like whispering to join them

SIGNE’S CINEMATOGRAPHY IS 👌 👌 👌 GODDAMN

seriously without her helping out we wouldn’tve had NEARLY as amazing shots

...no offense Seán

but Signe is has an amazing eye for this stuff, you just worry about acting n shit, k?

i have rewatched the ending so many times now

WHY DOES .25 SPEED MAKE IT SO MUCH FUCKN CREEPIER JEEZ

THE HEAD THING = NOPE

Jack went from adorable giddy fanboy w/ Ryan Reynolds to absolute murder bean in a fuckin hurry

WHERE THE FUCK IS JACKIE? SERIOUSLY

Marvin/JJ/whoever the fuck is tryna wake up Jack can y’all hurry it up please

..but also don’t bc I love seeing freaky videos like this

so if we’re seeing Jack’s comatose nightmares, does that mean that Anti’s just a figment of his imagination

as in he’s never been real

will we ever get an expLANATION FOR MOTHERFUCKING OVERNIGHT WATCH

probably not

that’s the last time we saw Anti wasn’t it

damn

maybe Jackieboy Man hasn’t shown up bc he and Jack are one and the same

I am 1000004% ready for a JBM vs Anti showdown

or Marvin vs Anti too

magic cat man deserves more showtime gdi, he’s the oldest ego here and he’s barely had any attention compared to Grits Bits over here

gringle bungle,,,,, gloat boat,,,,,, grin bin

fuck this is turning into that ASG post from a while ago-

SEAN IT IS 5 AM YOUR TIME GET OFF TUMBLR YOU CUCK

oh that got rid of the bullet points rip

it’s ok I fixed it

guess y’all kinda have an idea of how long I’ve been adding stuff to this now huh

hm I have an AP exam in.... 6 hours, cool

thanks Jack for choosing the day before it to dump the entirity of hell on us :D

no but really I missed this

IF THERE’S NOTHING ANTI-RELATED FOR LIKE 6N MONTHS AFTER THIS IM GOING TO DIE

YOU BETTER NOT KILL OFF ANYONE EITHER, SEAN

can I start referring to Robin as “accomplice cube” again?

plz

that was one of my proudest moments here

and it’s quite fitting for now

Why doesn’t Jack remember the egos?? or is that simply his form of fuckery for us, and it doesn’t actually tie in to this bizarre plot thing going on?

Signe better not start pretending to not know the egos too...... shes the last one i trust ok

#jacksepticeye #mayhem2k18 #mayhem18 #this is gonna be my brain dump post #so i'll probably add on more stuff throughout the day #cool

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coloringmysensescherryred · 6 years

Text

2017

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? I went to Japan, graduated college, started teaching English in South Korea, and dated a Korean guy - a year full of traveling and adventures!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I had two resolutions - eat better so I didn’t feel like I was gonna shit myself so often, and to stop looking for love and let it find me. TBH I followed them both - shoutout to Korea for helping me with them! Korea’s food is just much better on my internal pipes in terms of health, and the boyfriend thing kinda just happened. I’m more proud of myself for ending it when I wasn’t happy but I wasn’t forcing any sort of relationship, it happened organically; so I’m pleased that I stuck to my guns.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope! Most of my friends aren’t even married yet! (Not that you can’t have a baby without being married but ya know.)

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thank god.

5. What countries did you visit? Japan and Korea!

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? I would like to have more confidence to straight-up tell people when they are doing things that make me mad or irritate me or that I don’t like. That is my new years resolution this year.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? March 23rd - the day I got my email saying I got into Fulbright! and June 7th - the day I left for Korea for a full year.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Fucking picking up my entire life and moving to Korea on my own. Like I have so many friends here in my program, but I was basically coming alone because I knew that I would be separate from them when we went to our placements after six weeks.

9. What was your biggest failure? I don’t know, I felt like I succeeded in all the ways that mattered? I guess my biggest “failure” was confessing my feelings to my crush and him having to let me down because he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn’t ready (altho I think he did like me tbh). So all things considered, that is a pretty good track record for an important year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nope!

11. What was the best thing you bought? Netflix?? I had had it for like six months before Korea buutttt it has been a fucking lifesaver for me abroad. It’s a way to hear English from native mouths when I live in a homestay and don’t get to speak English with native speakers that often. It’s also great to do on traveling (like on trains and buses). Bless up to a great monthly investment.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? BURG, aka @officialff7remake. Homeboy was there for me when I was freaking out about MP or thesis or boys and just to pal around and drink with. The tightest of homies and I can’t thank him enough. <3

13. Whose behavior made you appalled? I guess my Korean ex, Huijae? He literally had never dated ANYONE before me, Korean or otherwise, and he while he meant well, he had no emotional intelligence and really did things that bugged me and patronized me and was trying to be manipulative? and I didn’t need that shit? So I got out of that relationship after holding back my own feelings for too long and I’m so much happier and I don’t really talk to him anymore (he has texted a few times after we broke up to ask if he could come visit my host family because he “missed them” *eye roll* but i haven’t let him and he goes off to military service in like two weeks so I think i’m in the clear).

14. Where did most of your money go? FOOD. I literally just buy food in Korea. Oh, and train tickets to go to Seoul or wherever.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? IT by Stephen King. I was fucking so hyped about it and luckily its release date in Korea was the same as in America so I saw it the night it came out! Also, obvi Fulbright and teaching in Korea. :)

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? 빨간맛 by Red Velvet and DNA by BTS! Two songs that I have heard OVER AND OVER in korea and I still love them.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? I’m a. happier (or about the same - I was done with first sem and my thesis and had gone to Japan so I was probs p happy back then too), b. thinner! (I have lost like 10 or 12 lbs in Korea - wasn’t trying to but the food is just less fattening I think, and I walk more and go to an aerobics class like 3 or 4 times a week!), and c. richer! I’m not rich rich by any means but I have more money from fulbright than I was making as a waitress. :)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Idk - I did really what I wanted second sem of school, like hanging with MP and drinking and having spontaneous fun, and saw all the people I wanted to before I left for Korea, but I guess I wish I had done more solo trips in Korea? I want to do more before second sem starts too, and I want to visit my friends in their respective cities more because I didn’t get to do that so much in the fall because of my stupid fucking ex always coming to my town and taking up every literal weekend. I wish I was joking about that but it was bad.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Spend less time napping! I like naps but then I feel like i miss out on things, as well as have trouble falling asleep at decent times on school nights. Also, I wish I had spent less time being miserable about my relationship and ended it earlier. I gotta put myself the fuck first this year.

20. How did you spend Christmas? I spent an early Christmas on the 23rd with 6 Fulbright friends in Gwangju, and ended up getting drunk and dancing at the airbnb with all the other tenants for the night! It was really fun. I then spent actual Christmas eve and day at a hotel with my host fam and close family friends, just seeing the ocean (in the freezing cold) and eating seafood stew. I was glad to be with them but I missed home SO fucking much during that time. I did Skype my fam on Christmas eve morning so I saw them a little!

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? I don't know if I can call it love, but I had a serious crush that was more than just infatuation with a guy in my last sem of college. I didn’t know what I wanted because I was leaving America and he was still a sophomore but I just knew that I could see us together, and it didn’t work out but I still have hope for the future. And with my Korean ex, it wasn’t love at all but I did like him so there’s that?

22. What was your favorite TV program? In terms of things that I watched in 2017 that I really liked? Breaking Bad, Dark, Stranger Things season 2, and Rupaul’s Drag Race!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? My ex? Yeah, it’s petty, but whenever I talk about him or see his picture I get mad. I guess that only half counts on this bc I didn’t know him this time last year? But I don’t hate anyone else.

24. What was the best book you read? It by Stephen King. That thing is a fucking masterpiece.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Sam Smith, biiiiitch. His newest album is all amazing and I slept on him for too long! Like I knew he was good but this new album is amazing.

26. What did you want and get? I wanted Fulbright and I got it!

27. What did you want and not get? I wanted to be with aforementioned crush but it was bad timing. Win some, lose some, live & learn.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? I CAN’T CHOOSE

29. What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Going through second sem of senior year knowing I had a job after graduation?

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? it has changed a little since coming to Korea in order to try and not stand out so much? I have switched to more solid color tops rather than lots of prints, and I dress more demurely? Like less cleavage showing because that’s how koreans do (not that I am against it, but I’m just tryna fit in).

31. What kept you sane? Sydney, my best friend in the entire world. (This was my answer from last year and the year before that and the year before that AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT but it still holds true) also everyone in the sv discord chat still AND natalie of course of course

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? All the drag queens from Drag Race but especially Trixie & Katya? Ummm also BTS but what is new. ;)

33. What political issue stirred you the most? everything trump and his administration do and the net neutrality repeal. :(

34. Who did you miss? I miss my dogs and my mom and my sister and Brian and Cannon and grammy and my MP friends. <3 Being in Korea away from them has been really hard sometimes. 35. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. If you really want something, strive for it. Keep your expectations low, but believe in yourself and what you are capable of shining through and getting you what you really want. <3

36. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. “don’t you get lost in nostalgia, no” - Lost in Nostalgia, The Maine

“take me with you / cause even on your own, you are not alone” - Portugal, Walk the Moon

#personal #quiz #survey #2017 #me

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