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jq37 · 4 years

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 1

There Is Strength in Sweetness

Much like the years, the seasons of D20 start coming and they don’t stop coming. Fantasy High: Sophomore Year is barely in the record books and we’re already jumping into our new season--the Game of Thrones/Candyland mashup: A Crown of Candy!

If y’all have been with me since Sophomore Year then you know that I did very in depth recaps of every episode with a very specific format but I’m gonna try something new for this season.

The format might change a little between episodes as I figure out what works best so bear with me but the plan is to do more highlights and opinions than a blow by blow. But, like, we’ll see what happens.

So, anyway, saddle up your Meep and let’s visit Candia--one of the six kingdoms of the land of Calorum (aka: a fridge. We see you Brennan, it’s a fridge). Twenty years ago, the Ravening Wars wreaked havoc but they’re currently in a time of peace which (mostly) everybody is psyched about.

Meet the Family

This is not a new observation but, while most seasons of Fantasy High focus on found family, this season is all about family-family, specifically, the royal family of Candia and their associates.

We’re first introduced to Murph’s character--Sir Theobald Gumbar (Level 3 Eldritch Knight)--who is the a huge, golden-armored, gummy bear, leader of the Tartguard, protector of the royal family, and the logical endpoint of Murph’s lawful good predilections. Sir Theo is, of course, on time with bells on for the big Saint’s Day/Coming of Age birthday party for the twin princesses of House Rocks. Unfortunately, he’s clearly never seen The Little Mermaid because when the heralds announce the princesses, they don’t show up. Frustrated, he goes to try and find them.

The first place he checks is with Zac’s character, Chancellor Lapin Cadbury (Level 3 Celestial Warlock). He is (in no particular order) the royal tutor, a chocolate bunny, an official of the main state sanctioned church of Calorum (the Bulbian Church), and a pompous ass. Oh, one more thing? He and Theobald can’t stand each other. There is nothing funnier than two very proper grown men who hate each other's guts. Sir Theo shows up to his classroom where the princesses are having a lesson--or at least they’re supposed to be. Further inspection shows that they’ve just left two straw dummies in their place. Classic.

So, we pan out to the city to meet my favorite characters so far (I absolutely play favorites but I also disclose when I’m doing it so I think I’m in the clear) the twin princesses/chaos gremlins--Jet and Ruby Rocks (both level 1 Rogues) played by Emily and Siobhan. Theo may not have seen The Little Mermaid but the twins have def seen Aladdin, because their number one pastime seems to be escaping the palace to roam the city--hilariously illustrated when they chuck a gem into a peasant's bag and his reaction is a super nonplussed, “Guess the princesses escaped again.” They’re got the Disney Princess-itis really bad because both of them feel stifled by palace life and want more--specifically, Jet wants to be a warrior and resents having been born in peacetime (especially since she’s slightly older and in line for the throne) and Ruby wants to run off and join the circus as an acrobat. They are total twin BFFs to the point that their Thieves Cant has been reskinned to Twinspeak which is a detail I love so much (and that will become unspeakably tragic if something happens to one of them Brennan).

Jet gets a letter from her secret crush Thad, an Avocado from Fructera (these are the sentences I am being forced to write this season folks) and schemes with Ruby about how they can get to Comida (the capital city) to meet him--possibly by sweet talking Theobald which is easy because he’s so thirsty for respect. Sure enough, Theobald and Lapin soon find them, following their path of destruction and the princesses are brought back to the castle.

Back at the castle, we’re introduced to Lou’s character--King Amethar Rocks (Level 3 Storm Herald Barbarian)--who is having a somber moment, surrounded by the statues of his four older sisters who died in the Ravening Wars, leading his reluctant taking of the throne. He’s interrupted by Lord Calroy (his right hand guy and a full ass talking slice of cake because Brennan is trying to break me this season but I refuse to give him the satisfaction) who lets him know that his daughters have escaped and his delighted reaction immediately lets us know which side of the family they take after.

Finally (at least wrt PCs), we meet Ally’s character--Liam Wilhelmina of House Jawbreaker (Level 2 Ranger) who is a political prisoner/ward of House Rocks and a soft, outdoorsy, mountain kid who is perpetually followed around by his pet pig--Peppermint Preston whose death will absolutely force to me to Google “Best Denny’s Parking Lots for Fistfights.” He misses his dad but not his dick brothers because Ally isn’t allowed to have a fully happy family in any season. Liam is from the disgraced House Jawbreaker and his brothers seem to expect him to try and off the King while he’s in their orbit. While he’s in the woods, looking for seeds (as one does) he finds and accidentally breaks an important looking teacup, which we’ll get back to.

The other important character we meet this episode is an NPC--Queen Caramelinda, mother of the princesses, wife of Amethar, and keeper of 100% of the impulse control of House Rocks. She’s the main disciplinarian to Jet and Ruby, the clear decision-maker in the kingdom, and the only literate one out of her and her husband. She also seems to be the only character that respects Lapin’s authority.

An Inciting Incident

So, with all our characters assembled, all that’s left is the plot hook which Caramelinda provides in the form of a personal letter from Emperor Gustavo--the head honcho of the entire realm and his old friend--to Amethar. He’s not doing well health-wise and he needs to name an heir that’s not related to him at a big tourney that he’s personally inviting Amethar to. Amethar is a little slow on the uptake but Caramelinda eventually connects to dots for him that it seems very likely that Gustavo is going to name him emperor.

Amethar is not vibing with that information at all but Caramelinda basically holds him by the ear until he reluctantly agrees to go--though he insists that Ruby and Jet also come along to keep him company. Caramelinda only agrees on the condition that Lapin goes with. She also invites Liam (who is caught off guard but game) and Sir Theo is basically going by default. Caramelinda is staying home to hold down the fort but the talking slice of cake is going because Brennan hates me and doesn’t want me to be happy.

The traveling party is chosen, the twins have been gifted with sick, inherited weapons from their aunts: Flickorice--the Twizzing Blade (Jet) and Sourscratch--the Puckering Bow (Ruby). It’s almost time to be off, but there’s still one last thing to get to before we leave the twins’ party.

Lapin, feeling the pull of something broken (told you we’d get back to it) subtly makes his way outside, but is followed by Jet and Liam. Now, if you remember, I said earlier that Lapin is an official of the Bulbian church. Which is why it’s so surprising for Jet and Liam to see him talking to the Sugarplum Fairy, a deity of the Sweetening Path--a non-sanctioned more animistic religion that really only has sway in Candia. He fixes the teacup and then she appears, telling him that he’ll need to be wary once he leaves her sphere of influence and that boldness will be required in the days to come. Lapin, who seems to be having this conversation very begrudgingly, asks if she’s asking him to do anything in an official capacity and she smiles and says that she’s not asking for her third wish(!). Then what does she want? She wants him to know that there is great risk in what he is doing, but not acting is the greater risk. The coming challenges will be great, but he must protect the royal family or all is lost. She wouldn't have used her second wish to bring him to them if that weren’t the case. They hustle back and spill this to Ruby, obvs.

Anyway, onward! The next day, the caravan is set up and--with a warning about a sugar free chocolate warlock (ominous, as sugar free chocolate always is) they’re on their way to meet their escort out of Candia. Ruby decides to do her acrobat thing and is hanging out on top of the carriage instead of inside it as she and Jet “subtly” (read:not at all) bring up the Sugarplum Fairy to Lapin to see if he cracks.

Suddenly, the caravan stops. There’s a tree felled in the path, which really only means one thing in this kind of story.

Ambush.

Ruby, outside of the carriage and unprotected, takes 16 points of damage and is fully down with a failed death save due to some unknown effect. The carriage is riddled with arrows.

Everyone rolls for initiative and that takes us into a new (sure to be recurring) segment I’m calling:

Things I’m Concerned About

I’m concerned about Jet and Ruby (and not just because I’ve been worried about Ruby for a while due to things the cast has said and because she fully *died* this episode). They have their genres so wrong. They think they’re Disney movie protagonists but they’re in Game of Thrones and they don’t know it. Being Wrong Genre Savvy is a BAD position to find yourself in. Carriage surfing shenanigans don’t fly in a world that wants you dead.

OK, Carameinda. I’m inclined to be pro-Caramelinda. Like, she’s the hardass but she needs to be because Amethar isn’t helping run the kingdom. If this was a different story, she wouldn’t give me any pause but I read Macbeth and feel some light Lady Macbeth vibes. Gonna be keeping an eye on her.

Calroy and Sir Toby (didn’t mention him, he’s a slightly lower ranked Gummi Bear guard and friends with Theo). In a story like this, I’m looking for the possible betrayals before I get blindsided and the only people who can really betray you are people who are supposedly loyal to you. Calroy had a little aside with Amethar about how he shouldn’t be the Emperor if he doesn’t want to be--which isn’t wrong but is also something someone angling to keep him off the throne for other reasons would say--and Sir Toby decided to stay behind to help hold down the fort--again, either an innocuous decision, or angling to be left alone and to his own devices.

Whatever is going on with the Sugarplum Fairy and Lapin? Do not care for that one bit. I understand that a Warlock pact is mechanically very similar to a Paladin oath and a Celestial Warlock pact is even moreso but guess what? Still don’t trust it. I know Ruby’s Arcana check said that she’s generally a chill spirit but I still don’t trust it. And getting Wishes from your follower? Weird and suspicious. What’s your game, lady?

Emperor Gustavo apparently has a daughter who is barred by law from taking the throne when he dies. That sounds like a very strong motive for *something* at some point down the line.

I’m a little concerned Jet is being catfished by this Avocado. First of all, not a sentence I thought I’d ever write. Second of all, I’m probably just being paranoid. But that feels like a great way to get a princess alone for kidnapping or shanking or something.

Update: Brennan did an AMA and, regarding the previous bullet point he said, and I quote, “You are right to be concerned!” so now I’m concerned about that too! Fun!

I’m concerned about the mechanics of how a slice of cake person works. Slice implies a full cake. Where is the rest of the cake Brennan? Where is it? And, like, Brennan said on the post-show stream that we’re making the “what do they eat?” question weirder than it actually is because we’re made of some of the stuff we eat but hey Brennan? If I could pick a flesh toned and textured apple off a tree? That would be weird, OK? And I’m sorry for everyone else who had to picture that but it had to be said since Brennan is insisting on walking us down this garden path.

I’m concerned about whatever the hell is happening with Liam. Disgraced dad, mom is a shaman of the local fringe religion (Sweetening Path, like Lapin), and his brothers want him to shank the king or something? No way this ends in smiles for everyone.

Brennan said Pyramid of Food so I’m concerned about fruit rollup mummies.

OK but more than anything, I’m concerned about the death rules of this game. Death in D&D is cheap but, in a campaign like this, it can’t be. I’m not super well versed in GoT but it’s my understanding that resurrection in that series is possible but rare. Brennan said he specifically didn’t let Ally stock certain healing spells and that’s very telling about how things are gonna be handled. I guess we’ll see in the upcoming battle episode how that works but my general thought is, I hope everyone made interesting backup characters.

Five More Things

So, my thoughts on the new characters. I love Ruby and Jet with my entire heart. Watching Emily and Siobhan roleplay sisters and enable each other and hype each other up is so fun--or it would be if I wasn’t low key bracing to lose one of them sooner rather than later. Zac playing against type and Murph playing to type are both fantastic. I want nothing more than for Theobald and Lapin to continue sniping at each other. I hope that’s the first PvP fight of D20. Amethar is a lot of fun but clearly in over his head and I’m interested to see where he’s pushed. Liam is literally just vibing. Hope he doesn’t have to commit regicide!

God, the House Rocks PCs are such a disaster family. I love it. The moment when Calroy comes in and is like, “The princesses have escaped,” and Amethar breaks into a grin and is like, “Dude, that’s so dope!” I was like OH, so it’s *all* of them, huh. But, honestly, this should have been on the “Things I’m Concerned About” list because come on. They’ve not all gonna make it. And then we’re gonna have to watch the remaining family members react to that? Oh no.

Love Ruby’s bow. I have a player in my game who also has a magic bow that produces energy arrows because, truly, who has the time to deal with the logistics of how many arrows you had left after last fight? Magic arrows. Boom, done. Next.

Getting bagged on by your Patron for not having a spell when she’s the one who gives you your spells is so funny. Also, Mending isn’t a Warlock spell which makes it even funnier.

**I’ve given myself a 3k word limit on all of these to try to put some boundaries on myself but, Lol, prize to the first who guesses closest to the first episode I break that rule.**

#a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #the royal report #listen I don't hate calroy #I hate the *implications* of calroy

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astraeal · 4 years

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i will elaborate (perhaps) on this in the morning but i don’t think cal is trying to take over all of candia bc i think he’s too smart to do that, but i think the entire plot has unraveled out of his hands and he’s now screwed. i think his entire reasoning was personal, to kill amethar bc of personal reasons, but not actually in pursuit of any actual power; but then things didn’t go according to plan, amethar didn’t die on the sucrosi road, and now cal is on plan c with no idea, really, if it’s going to actually work

edit: okay lets talk about this, under the cut bc it got super long

1. Calroy is well versed in politics. This seems very obvious because that’s kind of his whole job, on both a meta gaming level and also an in-world level, to be the kind of pop up character to explain to people who has what title, perhaps how they got it, and how important/relevant that makes them to the current situation. He would have known that it would be an incredibly messy affair to have the crown of Candia sit on his head.

Not only would it have to go from Amethar to Jet to Ruby, but if they got killed off completely (or excommunicated, *cough cough*), then the crown goes all the way to the mountains with House Jawbreaker. And I know this started as a bit but he has....so many partners and children, even within the one marriage that is “legitimate” in the eyes of the Bulbian Church. As it’s basically implied that Liam is the youngest, that is a whole bunch of children who are able to ascend to the throne of Candia, and he would have to kill or get rid of all of them, in addition to whoever else comes before a minor cake lord like himself.

2. His villainous speech was only ever digs at Amethar. Normally the entire “Ah ha, you’ve walked into my trap! Let me tell you all of my plans!” has...you know, plans to it. Now this could be him being too smart to fully explain all of what he plans to do, but honestly it only ever seemed like his goal was to get rid of Amethar. He only killed Rococoa because she found out that he was dealing arms to the Ceresians, and he only tortured Manta Ray Jack because he wanted one last Hail Mary pass, as he admits!

“You know, it hurts, to have all of your plans fail, but they say improvisation is the better part of planning, so...I was happy to take advantage of that opportunity when it presented itself, Amethar.” He didn’t plan to get the Church involved at all, so the whole idea of betting on Amethar being excommunicated in the first place is ridiculous. He didn’t even know that was an option until Manta Ray Jack mentioned the girl, and even then, it was last minute.

“What about the ambush on the Sucrosi Road?” you ask. “Amethar was the only one contractually obligated to be on that road in the first place,” i reply. The twins badgered their mother to go on the trip with him, and in response Theo and Lapin got dragged into going as well. The summons was only for Amethar, and then whoever else he chose to bring. Not only was Cal not supposed to be there in the first place, but neither were the twins.

The eldest of which, we see in Jet’s flashback in episode 7, he’s established a relationship with. He is the only adult of the court who encourages Jet’s questioning of the laws of Candia, with the actual know how to explain, perhaps, how those things should be changed. Which leads me to my next point:

3. Jet was never supposed to die, because Cal was betting on her to be the successor after Amethar’s murder. He was counting on the princesses not being in the carriages on the Sucrosi Road, but they were, and one of them almost died but like, whatever, it was the younger twin. Then he was counting on Jet being in a different melee pit than her father during the tournament, but it didn’t matter because Amethar survived that attack on his life too. So then comes the ambush, which was an attack meant entirely for Caramelinda.

Of course, this third attempt is way after Cal thought Amethar was going to die. It was well after Brennan thought Amethar was going to be alive too! So he was betting on his camaraderie with Jet to be able to groom her for the throne, to question everything and, perhaps, establish a new kind of Candia in which Calroy had more respect, but that’s still a long line of people before he could ever sit his fancy pants ass down on the throne.

4. Okay, but when he got the Bulbian Church involved, what was the plan there? What if the girls were supposed to die in that encounter? Excellent questions, but I really don’t think Cal was hoping for the entire family to die: I think he got put, pun semi-intended, between a rock and a hard place, and this was the nuclear option. If he couldn’t kill this king with careful planning and political motivations, he could just....straight up disqualify him from even being able to be king.

But, again, he would have known that the crown would have gone to Jawbreaker in that instance, so again, I don’t really think any of this was about power so much as it was about fuck Amethar.

5. We aren’t entirely certain the level of Cal’s involvement with Lord Stilton Curdeau. We know for certain that Cal “put the little cheese boy on the scent of the Duchess Coldbottle” and that he had to ferry the assassins to that part of the road to set up the ambush, but, again, those only reinforce the fact that he wanted Amethar dead. We can certainly imagine that Cal told Stilton “Hey, lend me some of your assassins to take care of the King of Candia and you’ll be next in line for the Emperor’s seat, if only by proxy” but again, there was no guarantee that Stilton was going to be released from his religious vows, if Cal even knew about that.

If we really wanted to go beyond the timeline of the campaign, we could argue that Cal perhaps had something to do with all of Stilton’s brother’s deaths, but again, I genuinely don’t think he would have seen this far ahead. Why would killing some minor lords of the Dairy Islands help to get Amethar dead?

Personally, I think Stilton did that himself but used the cover of the religious vows to be like “why would I want lordship, i can’t even take it or marry, i’m only for the church 🙏🏻😇” meanwhile he’s sinking his brother’s ships, just like he tried to do with Primsy.

6. His “final” words to Amethar: Here’s to a future you can’t ruin. I literally just think Calroy wants Amethar gone because he feels that Amethar doesn’t deserve to be king. Being fifth in line, he shouldn’t have been king, but he became so. Being clearly not good with names and titles - hence, Calroy’s entire position being necessary - means that he’s kind of....a terrible king, if he had to do it himself. As it is, he’s just there because of his family line, not because of a deep seated desire for rulership.

7. But what about all the Ceresian soldiers?? That he got into the lands of Candia, and his clearly deep connections with them, given that he was arms dealing with them during the Ravening War. Yeah, again, I think that Cal got too far into this plan and he’s capitalizing on a situation that tumbled out of his hands. Getting the church involved was a nuclear option because it entirely destroyed Candia from the inside out - instead of deposing the king, he wound up deposing the entire House of Rocks and now Candia is in open rebellion, technically.

TLDR; Calroy Cruller is just The Worst “Best Friend” Ever and wanted Amethar dead and gone.

#k.txt #d20 acoc #dimension 20: a crown of candy #im tired but basically i dont think he meant to get the church involved #but it was the only way to try to get amethar out of his hands and candia #but hes too smart to even begin to think that the power would go to him #i’ll get to it in the morning #update it is morning and i have said my piece

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miasswier · 5 years

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miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 21

21: Prom Queen

Written by: Ian Brennan Directed by: Eric Stoltz

Overall Thoughts: This is such a good episode. Oh, my god this is a good episode. And it’s one of those episodes where I always seem to forget like, 80% of what happens, so I’m always pleasantly surprised when I watch. Like, actually, there is so little I don’t like about this episode. Let’s get to it.

What I Like:

Kurt being so excited about asking Blaine to prom, but also being willing to not go to prom when Blaine admits why he’s hesitant.

Piling on the sad backstory for Blaine. It’s cool, I guess, it just kills me every time I watch it. No big deal.

Santana and Karofsky are so fucking funny oh my god. Those Bully Whip scenes and them dancing at prom is pure gold.

Karofsky apologizing to Kurt. Honestly, I never thought we’d get such an honest and sincere apology from him, and I remember watching this for the first time and almost bursting into tears.

Mercedes in this episode makes my entire life. Because honestly? I’ve been there. Nobody asked me to my prom either (I ended up going with my back up date, which was my best friend), and while there wasn’t anybody I was specifically wanting to ask me, it still stung not to be asked. I totally get where her head is at in this episode, I get the pain, and the frustration at feeling that pain. I’m so happy that did this, because, UGH, it was just so wonderful and relatable.

Rachel cheering Mercedes up, and then coming up with the idea to go to prom with Sam as a thruple was awesome. I’m not going to lie, if they had gone with Sam/Mercedes/Rachel instead of Sam/Mercedes and then Sam/Rachel I would have been 100% down for that.

That being said, Sam/Mercedes owns my fucking ass, and this was the official start of that. I remember squealing so fucking loud when Sam asked Mercedes to dance. It wasn’t a pairing I’d even thought of before this episode (outside of thinking their interaction in “Hell to the No” was cute) but it took hold of my heart since day fucking one. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve watched that short ass scene.

JESSE IS BACK. I love him so much, and the way he bursts into “Rolling in the Deep” is so amazing. He and Rachel really are made for each other, like, seriously, look at how fucking extra they are together.

“They must have sensed that I was a lesbian. Do I smell like a golf course?”

I love the contrasting post-Prom Queen announcing scenes with Kurt/Blaine, Santana/Brittany, and Quinn/Rachel.

I’m so glad that they gave Quinn an actual reason for why she was being so over the top about this (her “There’s no way I’m staying at this school. I’m going to transfer” kills me every single time I don’t know why but I find it so goddamn funny), and that they had her share it with Rachel in what is probably one of the sweetest scenes Rachel ever shared with another person. Honestly, I have no idea why Faberry never actually became a thing. They set it up so perfectly? And really, the amount of scenes where Rachel actually sets her feelings aside to help Quinn feel better is insane, especially considering she rarely even does this with Finn.

When Brittany tells Santana that she voted for her and believes in her I literally die fuck I love these two so much. Also, I love how Brittany tells Santana to be there for Kurt. The only one out of the four girls who is aware of who this is actually going to be hardest on.

Gosh, the Klaine scenes in this section are just lovely. The way Blaine runs after Kurt without a second thought, the way he just lets him rant, the way he leans into him with that little smile when Kurt decides he’s going to be the bigger man about this and stand up to his bullies… I JUST LOVE ALL OF IT OKAY.

Kurt coming back and accepting the crown. Bless this boy.

Something I never noticed before is that in “Born This Way” Karofsky says he isn’t even sure if he is gay. Here, Kurt asks him to come out by dancing with him, and instead of denying that he’s gay, he just says, “I can’t.” Karofsky is one of those character’s whose journey I was so invested in, and it makes me so happy to see that he’s finally come to a place of accepting that he actually is gay. I like to think that if Kurt had been the protagonist of Glee that Karofsky would have had a much larger role in the show, and I really wish that had been the case, because he’s the type of character I would have loved to actually see take these steps, not just see the highlights during the few moments he’s on screen.

The fact that Finn gets kicked out and is just… gone. He’s kicked out. He’s not in the episode anymore. I don’t know, I just like that.

Rachel telling Finn what to get Quinn. I think the point of this was to set it up for next episode, when Finn didn’t know what flower to get Quinn but he knows which one to get for Rachel, but instead it just seems really fucking gay and like Finn’s girlfriends are more into each other than they are him.

The scenes with Artie and Sue are hilarious.

Puck executing his amazing plan by trying to distract Sue when there isn’t any music. Because he’s a literal idiot.

Jesse’s face when Finn throws a punch at him. I’m pretty sure that boy has never been in an actual fight in his life.

The pictures at the end! I particularly like that Quinn took her picture alone (a HUGE moment for her), and that Kurt and Blaine are the last picture shown!

What I Don’t Like:

I know I already talked about this in my review for “Rumours”, but it does frustrate me that Artie is seen as the one in the wrong for his break-up with Brittany when she was the one cheating on him. Yeah, he shouldn’t have called her stupid, but seriously, is that really worse than cheating?

Finn being so blatantly jealous of Jesse when he’s literally dating someone else. Oh, and that someone just so happens to be right in front of him every single time he lashes out at Jesse. Quinn deserved better than that.

The fact that Rachel sings a song that perfectly describes her relationship with Jesse… to Finn. As Jesse stares on. Like… Glee. Come on.

We don’t get to see Lauren’s reaction to not winning Prom Queen, which sucks, because she most likely knows that Puck didn’t actually want to win, and therefore would probably blame him for her loss. OR she could have just felt bad for Kurt and not even cared. We just don’t know.

Songs:

Rolling in the Deep: I’m so glad they did Adele justice in this episode (unlike the first time they cover her). This cover is so ridiculously dramatic and extra, I fucking love it.

Friday: Ugh, so like, I used to really like this cover, but now every time I see it I think of Mark Salling and the fact that he was the one who suggested it and I just feel… really gross about that. Also, the autotune. It’s embarrassing.

Jar of Hearts: I really do like this song, and I like this cover, but it still annoys me that it perfectly describes Rachel and Jesse’s relationship and Jesse is literally in the episode, but Rachel sings it to Finn.

I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You: This is a cool and fun song, and I think it actually works well as a backdrop for the Finn/Jesse fight. Also, I always find it hilarious when Puck is planning his heist and it shows Blaine singing this song, even though at that point Puck would have no clue that Blaine would even be attending the prom.

Dancing Queen: I LOVE THIS SONG. Santana and Mercedes always sound amazing together when they sing, and this song just blows my mind. It’s such a nice and happy way to end this episode, and it always brings a little tear to my eye watching everyone dance interspersed with the pictures.

Final Thoughts: I remember watching this episode for the first time and feeling trepidation. I knew what was going to happen, everyone did (does anyone else remember the spoiler being tweeted, followed by Brad Falchuk literally tweeting that that girl would never work in Hollywood again? No wonder all of his characters were so fucking extra lmao). I didn’t want it to happen, and I was worried about how it would go down. By the time the episode was done, though, I was in love. For a long time I didn’t even re-watch Glee – I just re-watched this episode on an almost constant loop. I just… I really love this episode, okay?

#ultimate glee ranking

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let-it-raines · 6 years

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Second in Command (Ch. 14)

Summary: Life as the "spare to the heir" isn't all that it's cracked up to be when you're the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don't know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: Mature

Tag List: @resident-of-storybrooke @kmomof4 @wellhellotragic @profdanglaisstuff @ekr032-blog-blog @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @a-faekindagirl @mayquita @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @branlovesouat

A/N: In this chapter’s flashback scene, there’s a certain pair of shoes that Killian kept a certain piece of jewelry in during the last chapter. Happy Saturday, friends!

Entire story found on ao3 | here |

When Killian and Emma get home from their trip late that afternoon, the sun just beginning to set over the walls of Kensington, Abigail and Liam are taking their children for a walk in the gardens between their apartments, the little ones all bundled up to combat the mid-January evening chill. When the two of them see his brother’s family, Emma drops her bag, kisses his cheek, her lips cold against the heat of his skin, and then she’s practically sprinting over to Abigail, scooping Alexander up on the way before throwing her open arm around Abigail’s neck and hanging on for dear life. He has no bloody idea what’s going on until Emma pulls back from Abigail and he hears a literal, actual high-pitched squeal.

(From Abigail)

She’s obviously told Abigail about the proposal, the women and Alex now looking at Emma’s hand or more likely the ring gracing it and chatting with each other by the time that Killian makes it over there, their bags left where he was standing when Emma ran off.

“Congratulations,” Liam greets, cheery smile on his face as he pulls Killian into an embrace that’s more welcome than not. “I see you’ve finally asked Emma here to marry you.”

Seven months ago Liam had a bloody meltdown over the idea of Killian marrying Emma, and while Killian will never forget those words, he’s moved on from them. As has Liam who has been consistently working on being the brother Killian has always deserved but has just recently gotten at twenty-nine years old.

Sometimes he wonders what it would have been like to cut himself off from his family to be with Emma, but he finds that he likes having so many people to love…and who love him. Better late than never.

“Aye,” Killian laughs before leaning over to kiss Abigail’s cheek in greeting, doing the same to little Alex, finding the tiny scrap of skin exposed through his clothes, and grabbing Elizabeth’s tiny foot through her bootie, “and luckily for me, she said yes.”

Emma smiles softly at him in response to his words, her green eyes bright against the tan of her skin that looks almost out of place in the muted colors of a Kensington winter.

“Oh, tell me all about how it happened,” Abigail sighs, reaching into the stroller to hold Elizabeth so that the babe can get some of Abigail’s body heat, rocking her back in forth in her embrace like it’s the most natural thing in the world. He supposes it is. “Killian is sucha romantic, and he’s been planning this for a long while, months really. I’ve never seen a man so excited to be engaged. I bet it was wonderful.”

Emma’s eyebrows move across her forehead before her lips turn up on the right in a smirk at all of this information she’s getting from Abigail. He’s going to have to start keeping secrets from Abigail, too, if she’s going to share everything and cause his cheeks to heat.

“Darling,” Liam coos as he moves to wrap his arm around his wife’s waist and protect Elizabeth from the cold as well, “why don’t we give them some time to settle back in before we grill them for all of the details?”

“Oh, I’m hyped on coffee,” Emma laughs, balancing Alex on her hip before handing him over to Killian so that Killian can at least try to pretend that Alex loves him nearly as much as Alex loves Emma. “Let’s go inside because it’s freezing, and then I shall tell you every detail of how Killian was shaking in his boots and practically flung his shoe in the ocean while trying to get the ring out of it.”

That gets him some weird looks as they go to Emma and Killian’s apartment, the Christmas decorations still up, and that distracts Alexander enough so that he plays with his toys they keep here for him while the four of them chat about the trip, Emma rocking Elizabeth back and forth because apparently she’ll start wailing if she stops moving and Emma was insistent that she get to know the little lass a bit better.

Eventually Emma has to get up and run to the restroom, so she hands Elizabeth off to Killian because she knows he’s been practically aching to hold her all evening. She’s nearly two months old now, and Killian has missed over half of her life being gone for trips, one business and one pleasure. He knows that the little love will never know that, but he still feels the slightest tinge of guilt at not being here to help out with everything, even if he knows his brother and Abigail have a nanny to help them out when they’re not around or need to sleep. He’s always been there for Alex, and he plans to do the same with Elizabeth. She’s already enraptured him.

Emma comes back into the room, settling down next to him on the couch, and he sees her not so slyly try to snap a picture of he and Elizabeth, who has fallen asleep in his arms, surprisingly thick head of dark hair rubbing against his forearm while he supports the little lass’s head and gently rocks her so she doesn’t wake.

It’s a good time, even when Liam and Abigail start talking about how hectic it was planning their wedding and the details that go into it. Emma’s eyes go wide next to him, and Abigail must see that because she has to assure Emma that they will have all of the help they’ll ever need planning. All Emma really has to do is say yes or no and help design her dress, or dresses really since she’ll have two. He cannot wait to see her walking down the aisle. It doesn’t matter that millions across the world will watch along with the hundreds or thousands in attendance.

At the end of the day, it’s just them. It’s just Killian and Emma.

“Emmy?” Alex ponders, “You go bye bye.”

“I did go bye bye, buddy, but I’m here now.”

(She’s here. Always.)

He seems to be satisfied with her answer before going back to his toys. It’s only later that he crawls up into Killian’s lap and snuggles against his stomach, mumbling that Killian went bye bye, too.

Eventually Liam, Abigail, and the kids leave, and despite Emma claiming to be hyped up on coffee, the exhaustion from travel gets to the both of them, and they fall asleep in the living room, only waking when Killian’s phone goes off.

“Who is calling you at this ungodly hour?”

“It’s not yet nine in the evening, love.”

“That’s far past talking hours.”

He looks down to see his father’s name on his phone, and Killian groggily swipes his finger across the screen, holding up the phone to his ear and mumbling a tired hello.

Killian talks to Brennan for a little while longer, murmuring words into the phone even if all he wants to do is sleep, the plane ride having worn him out to the point that he’s barely a functioning human. His dad simply wants to have lunch tomorrow to discuss the engagement now that it’s official (Killian and Emma and called all of their parents to make sure every one of them knew before they got home in case the news somehow got out, but they still have to see everyone in person to truly celebrate) and to begin discussing all of the preliminary discussions for their future nuptials.

Killian remembers when Liam got married, just being on the periphery of the event, how incredibly detailed and, frankly, mad the whole thing was. Abigail was kind earlier when she simplified the planning process, but it was much more complicated than that. It took hundreds of thousands of people to plan, nondisclosure agreements being signed every other minute, and somehow his family managed to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on the events. Of course, Liam and Abigail’s wedding brought in at least double what it cost for tourism, but all Killian can think about is how as much as this day is going to be about he and Emma, it’s also going to be about the country and the Crown.

So now they have lunch plans with Killian’s parents tomorrow and dinner plans with David and Mary Margaret, and they really should have combined the two meals despite the fact that the meal with his parents will have to mostly be about official duties and what comes next. Just the typical things that come along with marrying into his family.

Their own kind of normal.

After his phone call, he and Emma do manage to make it all the way upstairs, struggling through their nightly routines before collapsing on their bed, Emma moaning about how good it is to be home. It really is.

“I’m nervous,” Emma admits while they’re getting ready for lunch the next day, the both of them dressing in jeans and sweaters. “Like, I haven’t been this nervous since I met your family for the first time, and that was a train wreck. Like, a train wreck where everything is on fire even though it’s underwater.”

He thinks that metaphor went a little…off the tracks, but he’s just going to keep that to himself at this point in time. He’ll make that pun later.

“It’s not going to be like that again. My family loves you.”

“Albert doesn’t.”

“Well, nobody bloody cares what Albert thinks, and Dad’s threatened to take away his titles and therefore his money, so he’ll basically be a monk practicing silence from now on.”

She lets out what basically equates to a pity chuckle before she begins bouncing her legs up and down at her vanity while she does her makeup. She really is so nervous that she might start an earthquake throughout all of England.

“Hey,” he urges before sitting down next to her on her bench, “what are you nervous about?”

She shakes her head from side to side before applying her blush.

“Tell me, love.”

Emma finishes coloring her cheeks before putting her brush down and turning to face him. “What if they’re all gung ho about all of this, and then your dad sees me with this ring and is, like, holy fuck I can’t let my son marry this girl?” Her leg is still shaking and her lips are pulled back against her teeth, the pretty pink disappearing into her skin while her eyes stay open like she’s forgotten how to blink.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“What if it does?”

“Emma Nolan, I will notlie to you, and I am not lying when I say that there is absolutely no way that my parents are going to suddenly have some kind of revelation and think you’re anything less than perfect for me and for this family.” He places his right hand on her left hand before pulling it to his lips and kissing her knuckles right by her engagement ring. “Now, do you want me to reschedule until you’re more comfortable, or are you okay going today?”

“No, no,” she sighs, getting up from the bench and adjusting her jeans, brushing at the imaginary lint, “I can go today. Just don’t let me drink coffee when we’re there because it’ll make me all jittery and nervous.”

“I thought that was just your natural state.”

She smacks his ass as he walks out of the bathroom. That’s the Emma he knows and loves.

Emma has relaxed after the length of the car ride to Windsor, where his parents have decided to stay after spending the past few weeks in Sandringham for all of the Christmas holidays and weeks thereafter.

“You know,” Killian croons as they pull through security, “this is probably where we’ll get married. In St. George’s Chapel.”

“Really?” Her eyes are bright as she leans over him to look at the exterior. “Can I see the inside of it?”

“I’ll have to check and see if I can take you on a tour if we have time after lunch,” Killian assures as he turns into their parking area, “but I promise you’ll see it before any decisions are made.”

By the time they make it to the informal dining room, it’s fifteen after when they were supposed to meet his parents, and when Killian opens the door, Brennan and Allison are standing almost directly by the entryway, their hands twined together and their feet taping so much like Emma’s had earlier. When they see he and Emma, his mother’s eyes squint as her entire face blooms into a smile while his father simply nods while his lips press together in a subtle grin, and even if Killian told Emma not to be nervous, he is incredibly relieved to see this reaction.

Old habits and thoughts die hard, he guesses.

“Good afternoon,” Killian laughs when neither of them make a move to say anything. “Are you guys practicing being statues?”

They both seem to snap out of whatever trance they’re in, releasing each other’s hands and moving forward to embrace both he and Emma, his mother squeezing the life out of Emma while his father buries his head in Killian’s neck, whispering congratulations to him while his mother audibly talks to Emma.

“Oh, let me see the ring on your finger, darling,” Allison fusses, pulling back from Emma and holding onto her left hand and admiring the diamonds. “This is just stunning. You know, Killian designed this?”

“I did know that.” Emma looks over to him and gives him a soft smile before nodding at the tight grip his mum has on her hand. “Who knew he was such a good jewelry designer? I think he’s missed his calling.”

“Allison,” Brennan nudges, taking Emma’s hands out of his wife’s and admiring the ring, “you’ve got to let me give the girl a hug. And possibly embrace your son, too. You know, he’s also getting married to this lovely lady who far outshines her ring.”

Emma’s cheeks immediately pink, and he feels like his heart is stuck in his throat, but in the best way possible. He doesn’t get much of a chance to think about that, though, because his mother’s tiny frame is embracing him, and he hasn’t been this fully, completely happy in a long time.

They sit to eat lunch, a winter salad full of chicken, beets, walnuts, and the like, and the conversation flows. His mother wants to know all about how it happened, laughing at Killian keeping the ring in his shoe and practically passing out on the beach (At least, that’s how Emma describes it. He wasn’t thatnervous…or maybe he was.) and then awing in all the right places when he and Emma recount all of the words he said. He honestly doesn’t remember everything, the words a bit of a blur, but Emma seems to remember it all. Good, it was all for her anyway.

Maybe a little bit for him.

Or a lot.

Okay, so it was…is for the both of them. Definitely.

His parents manage to hold off on all of the official Royal Family business until after they’ve eaten and moved to one of the sitting rooms for tea and coffee (which Emma drinks even if she was trying not to be jittery), like the blended British and American family that they are. Of course, he much prefers the coffee to the tea anyhow.

He’s apparently always been a bit of a rebel.

“So, I don’t know how much Killian has told you, Emma darling, or how much Allison’s aide has taught you with your lessons,” Brennan begins, taking a sip of tea before putting it on the side table, “but you’ve got quite the big change coming up.”

“That’s about all I know, to be honest. Everything’s been kind of vague, but I’m up for the challenge.”

She’s got her hands clasped in her lap and her feet crossed at her ankles, and he doesn’t know if she thinks she has to be in proper position for this lunch or if it’s just becoming a natural state when in places other than home. Emma Nolan, the woman who sits cross legged on kitchen countertops in nothing but a t-shirt with her hair sticking up all over the place and her glasses sliding off her nose is also the woman who now knows royal protocol and how to sit and speak when at official engagements.

It’s the smallest thing, and while he knows it’s a bit ridiculous, it shows how much she’s done just to be with him, how much she’s willing to do because she loves him. Sometimes he wonders if he does enough to show that he loves her. He likes to think that he does. She tells him that he does. She doesn’t complain about the changes in her life or the hoops she has to jump through, and Emma really is the most remarkable woman.

She’s going to break protocol all of the time, just because of who she is. She’ll show him public displays of affection or talk to someone for too long, giving hugs when she’s only supposed to give handshakes. He does the same thing. He used to be chastised for those things, but he imagines that he won’t anymore.

He reaches over to place his palm over her twined hands before his father continues.

“Well, good,” Brennan smiles, “because I’ve got a challenge for you.”

They have to pick a date, one that doesn’t interfere with any outstanding events or holidays. Their wedding will most likely be made into an official bank holiday, and Emma’s eyes go wide at that. Contracts will need to be made, staff for Emma will need to be hired, flowers grown, invitations designed, titles distributed, a dress (or two) made for Emma, and basically everything that comes with planning a wedding...greatly enhanced.

“Furthermore, darlings,” Allison continues on for Brennan, “Emma will start going on your official duties with you. The first of all being your engagement announcement and then the interview with the BBC.”

“Honestly,” Emma admits, “that’s what has me shaking in my boots right now. I can shake hands and kiss cheeks, but me talking on national television seems like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“We’ll make it as comfortable as possible. It’ll be just you, Killian, and whoever they send for the interview. You’ll know the questions ahead of time, and they’ll just be simple things like how you met or how he proposed and how you’re adjusting to your new life.”

“I’ll always be by your side, Emma,” Killian comforts, squeezing his hand over hers. “You’re a natural with people, and I’m sure you’ll be a natural on camera. I mean, I do it all of the time, and I don’t seem too awkward, do I?”

“Sure, babe. Whatever you think.” Emma pauses, and her lips part the slightest bit, like she has something she wants to say but isn’t sure if she should say it. “What about June eighth? For the wedding date? I know it’s on a Saturday this year, so that would mean no bank holiday, but I think that’s a good date since I know that weddings happen pretty quickly around here.”

“Why June eighth?” Brennan inquires.

Killian knows why.

“It’s our anniversary.”

“Hey,” he greets as he stumbles through the door, shedding his damp jacket and stepping into the relative dryness of the pub compared to the continual rain that seems to be falling from the heavens with no plans to cease, “are you guys open yet? I could use a drink. I’ve got a big anniversary to celebrate tonight.”

Emma stops wiping down the tables, tossing her wipes down on the wooden seat, before walking over to him and pressing up on her toes as she’s wrapping her arms around his neck, her smile coy as she hovers just the slightest bit too far away from him.

“We don’t open for three hours, but I think we can make an exception for someone who has a big anniversary tonight.” She cards her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, and she looks so beautiful and happy, so unlike the last time he saw her. “Unless, you know, you’re one year sober or something like that.”

“It’s not something like that.”

He dips his head down to kiss Emma while she presses up further on her toes, his hands sliding into the back pockets of her jeans to pull her body further into him so that he can feel all of her.

“Happy first anniversary, Killian,” Emma whispers against his lips while her forehead presses against him. “It’s felt like a lifetime.”

“That’s not a good thing, love,” he chuckles before squeezing her bottom.

“You know what I meant.”

“I do.” He kisses her again before sliding his hands out of her pockets and turning her around, pushing her forward so that she stumbles out of the entryway of the pub and back toward the sitting areas. “Do you need help setting up for this afternoon before we do lunch?”

She contemplates her options for a moment, running her hands through her loose braid so that it comes even further undone before tossing him the container of wipes. “You can finish wiping down the tables and booths while I get the glasses out of the dishwasher, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

The two of them finish working, preparing the pub for the night while music plays through the speakers. David and Mary Margaret eventually come downstairs to help, and when they all finish setting up, they eat a late lunch upstairs, spooning a casserole into their mouths while they watch the television.

“So what are the two of you doing for your anniversary?” Mary Margaret questions while the afternoon news flickers across the screen, a video of his father shaking hands with the Prime Minister after one of his quarterly meetings where Brennan goes to the Prime Minister instead of the Prime Minster coming to him, but then it quickly changes to a football match and his father’s face is gone.

“I’m working, Mom,” Emma mumbles with the casserole in her mouth. “Remember?”

“I’m almost positive we gave you the day off.”

Emma rolls her eyes at her mother’s reminder.

“Yeah, you did, but then both Will and Kat called out sick.”

“Em, it’s fine,” David assures her while picking up everyone’s plates and taking them to the kitchen to put in the sink. “Your mom and I can take care of it. You two should do something fun.”

Emma shrugs her shoulders. “You guys don’t have to do that. We’re fine right, babe?”

She looks over at him across the room, and he knows just by the way she’s worrying her lip between her teeth that she’d love the day off, but she doesn’t want to leave her parents in the lurch. “No, take the night off. We’ll do something fun like your dad suggested.”

Her lips part like she’s going to protest, but then she’s nodding her head up and down. “What are we going to do?”

Later that evening once David and Mary Margaret have opened the pub, he’s zipping up one of David’s raincoats, his regular coat from earlier not enough to protect from the water, so that it covers his chin, putting his hat on before sliding the hood over his hair while Emma slips into a pair of yellow wellies and a rain jacket herself.

“So your idea of us doing something fun is going for a walk in the pouring rain?”

She looks like she is one hundred percent not here for this idea, her brows furrowed and her eyes slanted as she studies him like she’s waiting for him to tell her that he’s kidding, but this is an opportunity for them to get out and about, even if it does require walking in the rain.

“Yep,” he confirms, popping the ‘p” before moving to pull Emma’s hood over her hair and tucking the stray strands behind her ears and tapping her shoulders while she scrunches her nose. He loves when she scrunches her nose. He loves her, and he really cannot believe she’s stuck with him for an entire year. Best bloody year of his life. “Think about it. No one will be out and about, and we won’t run the risk of being seen as anything other than two lunatics who want to catch a cold.”

“We’re totally going to catch a cold, Killian.”

“Without a doubt,” he agrees, sliding his phone in his back pocket and leading them out of the apartment, slipping out the side door of the pub and onto the practically empty streets of London that are slick with the rainfall that’s been pounding down all day.

He has no idea where he’s going. It’s not that he’s not familiar with the area, but he doesn’t have a destination in mind as Emma loops her arms through his elbow and they aimlessly wander outside while debating the merits of American television versus British television. He knows that he can’t stray too far from the pub, his deal with his security detail for them to keep quiet about where he spends his time depends on never straying too far away from Emma’s place without proper notice, but eventually they walk far enough to see the river and find a bench under a cluster of trees that keeps it mostly dry from the elements.

There are still boats and ships cruising by, some of them commercial while others have fairy lights strung up across the decks where parties were obviously supposed to happen before the rain started. Whoever decided to host an outdoor event in London in June is obviously one for placing bets and wishing on stars that the weather will be pleasant.

“I’m sorry about last week.”

His head snaps toward Emma who is staring out at the water and watching one of the boats with the lights flickering across the deck. Her face is all contorted in the way that it is when she’s upset about something, her bottom lip jutting out instead of being pulled between her lips and her eyes somehow even brighter as unshed tears linger there.

They were in an argument last week because Emma had been pissed at her parents while he felt the same about his own, and they took it out on each other, snide comments and biting remarks over Killian scuffing up the bar with his shoes and Emma picking up extra shifts even on the days that he had time to visit. That’s half the reason he was so insistent that she take time off for them to go out tonight, even if it is just them sitting on a public bench catching pneumonia. The entire thing was idiotic and frustrating and petty as hell, and they need quality time together.

They didn’t get it last week because Killian had been too cross to stay, and Emma had been too frustrated to let him. So he’d left, and he hadn’t been able to come back, a week full of engagements and meetings and only resolving things between the two of them over a phone call or two between his obligations.

It’s like he’s always obligated to something when he wants to be obligated to Emma.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, love,” he promises, watching the boats move across the water as well. “We were both cross with our parents, and we became cross with each other. I thought we talked through things.”

A small chuckle passes through Emma’s lips before she pats his leg, quick enough that it could have been a leaf blowing if he hadn’t seen her hand move and heard the rustle of the material of her raincoat.

“I lied to you last week,” Emma admits, and he’s honestly shocked by that. They don’t lie to each other, and if they do, they’re apparently damn good at hiding it. “And don’t freak out because it wasn’t something bad. It was a money thing.”

“Emma,” he sighs, because they’ve had this money talk several times before, and he thought maybe she was beginning to understand that her not being as financially well off as him doesn’t matter. He’d give it all up for her in an instant. “I thought we talked about – ”

“We did,” she interrupts, and he wishes he could see her face under the hood of her coat, but she’s pulled it across her face to keep his gaze away. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

She groans before turning her head to look at him and propping her head up on her hand on the back of the bench, some of her hair escaping out of the hood and frizzing when the rain hits it.

“I took extra shifts because I was trying to buy you those loafers you were talking about a few weeks ago to give you today, but they didn’t have your size in the store and I had to order them online. So basically, I lied to you like the people in The Gift of the Magi, but I’m assuming you didn’t sell your feet to buy me something so we should be okay.”

He lifts his feet and wiggles his toes through the boots just to prove that they’re still there, like he somehow could have done what she said. Emma Nolan is his favorite part of every day of his life, he’s a fan of every part of her, and he would be happy to sell his feet or his clothes or his whole damn apartment just to be with her. She doesn’t have to do anything but be herself, but it means the world to him that she would put in that much effort simply to give him a pair of dress shoes that he casually mentioned three or four weeks ago.

“First of all,” he begins, taking her free hand and bringing it to his lips, the skin tasting like rain water when his lips press against it, “I love you. That’s the most important thing. Second of all, I cannot wait to rock those shoes.” He moves his hand to her cheek, caressing her face while she turns her head and kisses his palm. “And we’re obviously never going to have a normal relationship, my love, and as sweet as you doing that for me is, please don’t lie to me about things like that. We don’t lie, remember? We’re honest and truthful about what we’re feeling. That’s the only thing that makes this work, and I sure as hell want this to work.”

He sees her eyes flutter closed, eyelashes almost invisible free of makeup and hidden in the darkness of the night sky. Water drips off of her hood and a single droplet lands on her cheek, running down her skin until it’s gone.

“I just,” she begins, and he sees a tear slip from her eyes to replace the rain droplet, “I feel like you are always doing so much for me, and I don’t want us to be unequal partners in this. I know I’m usually happy, but God, Killian, I’ve never done anything like you and me before. It’s scary and overwhelming and – ”

“Do you trust me?”

“What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you.”

“Then trust me,” he moves to swipe away her tears with his knuckles, and there’s the smile he loves, “that no part of me thinks this is an unequal partnership, and if you think that, we’re going to work on fixing that, aye?”

She nods her head and then twists her body so that she can press her lips against his, his hat flipping upward when her nose presses into his face and her lips become more insistent against him. When it completely falls off his head, his hood coming off with it, Emma pulls back and laughs against his face before pulling his hat and hood back over him.

“You’re a good man, Killian, and I’m so glad that I kissed you that night, even if my dad saw us dry humping on the bar and then we didn’t talk again until…well, until one year ago today.”

“I’m mostly just glad we moved past dry humping.” He pauses before nipping at her bottom lip. “I quite enjoy having sex with you.”

Emma rolls her eyes, but when they come back around, there’s a lightness in them that wasn’t there a moment ago. Maybe it’s because she just cried for a moment, but then her hand is inching up the inside of his thigh as slowly as she possibly can, her long fingernails pressing into his skin through his slacks. His breathing is suddenly a little heady as his eyes flicker between watching her hands and her face, her lips now tugging up on one side.

“Do you,” she whispers against his cheek, the closest she can get to his ear with the rain gear on, “want me to go run into that market and get us something to eat?”

She pulls back from him with a giggle, and he’s left sitting there with his lips parted and a seriously confused mind…and body. “What now?”

“Do you want something to eat?”

“But we were, we were ah – ”

“Killian,” she begins, getting up from the bench and shaking the water that’s accumulated while they’ve been sitting down off of her, “you’re going to need food to keep up your energy later, because we have the apartment to ourselves and there’s fun times to be had.”

She’s quite the little minx, isn’t she?

Later Emma is sitting on her bedroom floor in nothing but his t-shirt and the pair of riding boots (great minds think alike for anniversary gifts apparently) he bought her despite the summer weather hopefully coming soon. She’d had on the peal earrings he purchased, too, but she didn’t want to lose them, so they’re resting in her jewelry box now. She looks ridiculous when she gets the boots zipped up and stands from the floor, showing off her new look while he’s got his head propped in his hand as he’s stretched out on the bed.

“So,” she implores, testing out her walk with the heels, and he wishes his shirt were just the slightest bit shorter on her, “what do you think?”

“I think you should walk around like that all of the time, if I’m honest.”

“Oh really?” She walks toward her door, twisting the knob and looking back at him. “So if I walked downstairs to the pub right now, just like this, all those people drinking their beers and sipping on their whiskeys, you’d still want me to dress like this?”

She walks out of the room before he has the chance to answer, and he scrambles out of her bed so quickly, his legs getting caught in the sheets, that when he finds her simply leaning against the hallway wall with this fucking smirk on her face, arms crossed against her chest bringing her shirt higher up to expose more of her legs, he absolutely cannot believe she teased him like that.

Well, he can, but he almost fell on his face trying to get to her.

Happy anniversary to him.

“You a little jealous there, babe?”

“Never,” he lies, stepping closer to her so that their faces are only inches apart, breaths intermingling while his hands brace against the wall above her, “but you are a bloody tease, and your legs look fantastic right now.”

“Imagine how they’d feel wrapped around you again.”

And then she’s ducking underneath his arms and walking back into her bedroom, and this woman is the love of his life. He knows it.

When they finish lunch with his parents, wedding date set (and wow is that insane to know the day that he’s getting married to Emma) and a date scheduled for their engagement portraits as well as their interview and photo call with the press, plus a few other appointments scheduled for the actual wedding planning, they have to hurry home to meet Emma’s parents who just texted Emma to let them know that they are on their way over which means they’ll likely be stuck sitting outside of their front door until Emma and Killian get there.

Sure enough, David and Mary Margaret Nolan are sitting on a bench right outside their door and similarly to when Emma saw Abigail yesterday, she takes off at breakneck speed and runs into her mother’s arms, visibly squeezing tight. By the time he catches up, she’s moved onto hugging David and he’s cupping the back of Emma’s hair, whispering something in her ear that has Emma nodding her head against him. Killian’s distracted by their embrace, and all he wants is to have a relationship like that with his own children one day, but then Mary Margaret’s small frame is embracing him, too, and while he’s not much of a crier, he has to choke back a sob at Mary Margaret’s words.

“I’m so glad it��s you,” she whispers into his ear, pressing up on her toes and kissing his cheek.

“I am, too.”

David embraces him as well, making a joke about being relieved that Killian finally popped the question because damn has it been hard to keep things from Mary Margaret. The Nolans have taught him a lot over the past half of a decade, like what it’s like to be good parents, how to work hard even if the work isn’t always enjoyable, what it’s like to be a cohesive, loving family, and mostly what a solid, devoted relationship looks like. Yes, his parents love each other, and yes, he knows now how they are not the distant couple he once thought they were. But it’s David and Mary Margaret who have taught him what it’s like to still be romantic three decades into a relationship (much to Emma’s dismay sometimes), or how to work through a rut or an argument in a way that’s not yelling and storming out of the room, even if that took awhile to learn. They’ve been there for him with his own family issues. They’ve been there for him even when he’s had issues with Emma, even if that’s their daughter they’re giving him relationship advice on, and as glad as they are to be having him as an official part of their family, it cannot compare to how thrilled he is to be a part of theirs.

The four of them make their way inside, heading into the kitchen and standing on opposite sides of the island while Emma fills in her parents on everything they talked about with his parents today, and when she tells them they already have a wedding date, her parents suddenly go silent like their tongues have been tied.

“What?” Emma nervously questions, her hand blindly reaching behind her in an attempt to find his. He doesn’t see it until she taps against his stomach, and that’s when he finally grabs it, holding her palm and rubbing his thumb over her knuckles to try to soothe her. “Why do you guys look like I just dumped a bucket of ice water on you and then made you go stand outside in the cold?”

“It’s just,” David begins, his stomach pressed against the counter, “we’ve known you were engaged for about a week now, and I find out that I am walking you down the aisle in a little under five months.” David pauses, and Killian sees his throat move when he gulps. “I do get to walk you down the aisle, right?”

“Of course, Dad,” Emma reassures, releasing Killian’s hand so that she can take her father’s hand in her own, “why would you think otherwise?”

David shrugs, and Killian’s heart aches over the fact that even though Killian vividly remembers David making a joke about their wedding being televised when Killian told him his intentions toward Emma, he still thought he might not get to walk his only daughter, his only child, down the aisle.

“Because,” Mary Margaret answers for David, “as much as you are just Killian to us, you’re not to the rest of the world, and it’s not like this is going to be any other wedding.”

“Guys, there’s going to be fanfare and traditions and a lot of things that we won’t understand, but at the end of the day, it’s simply Killian and me getting married. Dad, you’ll walk me down the aisle, and, Mom, you’ll help me get ready before you both give a super embarrassing speech at one of the receptions.”

“One of?”

“There are two,” Killian explains, and Emma’s parents look about as shocked as Emma when she found this out last night. “An afternoon tea my father will host full of all of the political and royal figures we invite, and then that night we’ll have an actual reception with drinking and dancing with a smaller group of people.”

“That sounds like quite the wedding,” Mary Margaret comments before placing her hand over Emma and David’s, and he’s so glad that they can have moments like this, “but I am thrilled. My baby is getting married to the most wonderful man alive.”

“I mean, I thought that was me, so Killian can be the second most wonderful man alive.”

Both Nolan women slap at David’s chest, and David winks at Killian in a way that reminds Killian so much of Emma that he almost has whiplash.

After the Nolans leave, he and Emma head upstairs to go to bed, or at least that’s what he thought they were going to do before Emma strips down to her knickers and starts trying on every dress in the closet, tossing them to the ground if she doesn’t like them while he watches in fascination from his spot seated on the ottoman they keep in there.

She puts on a stunning black gown that’s basically like a second skin, and he’d really like to know when she got that and why he hasn’t seen it, but then she’s shimmying out of it as well and laying it over the island. This is like the least erotic strip tease he’s ever seen.

“Emma, darling, what in the bloody hell are you doing?”

“I’m trying to find something to wear,” she motions toward all of the clothes everywhere, “for when we have all of that engagement stuff to do, for the pictures and the photo call and the interview, and I don’t know what’s appropriate for girlfriend Emma versus fiancé Emma.”

She’s freaking out, and he wasn’t really expecting that after the wonderful day they’ve had. But it does make sense with all of the overwhelming information she’s learned of their upcoming nuptials and her duties. It’s different thinking about them as a concept versus them being a reality.

“Hey,” he soothes, “come here.”

Her shoulders sag forward before she sullenly makes her way over to him, stopping just out of reach until he leans forward to grab her hips and starts rubbing his thumbs over her underwear while he looks up at her.

“You don’t have to worry about that today.”

“But I do have to worry about it.”

He gently yanks her toward him until she bends down and perches herself on his right thigh, reaching forward to cup his cheek and run her fingers across his skin.

“Not tonight,” he soothes, kissing her jaw, “and not alone. I know it’ll take some getting used to having people help dress you and do your hair and makeup, but we have that so that you can be less stressed. And eventually you’ll be an expert in all of this. You’re a quick study, my darling.”

“I just don’t want to do something wrong or upset the balance in your family any more than I have.”

“Is that what’s bothering you? You think you could somehow do something wrong?”

“I mean, yeah. Killian, I’m not blind. I grew up with you on the news and with your brother on the news. I know the types of girls you’re expected to marry, and even if I know nothing is going to change you and me and your family is okay with me now, but your dad kept talking about how much crazier the attention is going to get. Right now, the world thinks I’m this girl you’ve been dating for a few months. What’s going to happen when they find out we’re engaged?”

“Well, we’re going to get married.”

She rolls her eyes before resting her forehead against him. “I’m serious. What if people hate me? What if they think I dress horribly or, more importantly, what if they think that I cannot do good work to help better the country and the world through all of the work you do and the work I’m going to do?”

“Not everyone is going to like you, darling. I wish it wasn’t so, but it’s true. Not everyone likes me, and as long as we keep you away from the comment section on the internet, you’ll never have to know about the false nastiness that people spew.”

He pauses for a moment before moving forward to bite at her bottom lip while his hands run along her thigh. “But you know what?”

“What?”

“I like you.”

“Yeah,” she laughs against his lips, “I got that with you pulling the whole Beyoncé putting a ring on it thing.” He pinches her thigh, and she practically flies off of his lap as she squeals, “What was that for, you crazy man?”

“You’re supposed to say it back.”

“Well, you’re not supposed to pinch your fiancée like you’re some kind of five year old.”

She walks out of the closet after that, and he knows she’s not agitated by the way she sways her hips. And he really knows she’s not agitated from the way her bra lands at his feet after she throws it through the doorway. “I like you, Killian. Come to bed.”

#second in command #captain swan #cs fic #cs ff

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squaredcircleconfess · 4 years

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Talking Christ #3

𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗚𝗛𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗕𝗬 𝗦𝗤𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗖𝗜𝗥𝗖𝗟𝗘 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗙𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗔𝗟

𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗔𝗡 𝗙𝗘𝗡𝗜𝗫 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗞𝗜𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗡 𝗙𝗥𝗔𝗨𝗦𝗧

Kiersten Fraust: Hey! What's up guys? It's me, Kiersten Fraust and my co-host on this crazy ride Logan Feniiiiiix! We are finally back to talk everything Christ with our great viewers, wherever you may be.

Kiersten turns to Logan with a smile.

Kiersten Fraust: I got a question for you, Logan... Are you ready?

Logan Fenix: Oh I’m ready… wait, for what? This show right?

Kiersten Fraust: Yes. We got a lot to cover from the CCW show that happened.

Logan Fenix: A lot happened on that super show, we never thought it would air due to technical difficulties even, but it happened! Where to even begin?!

Kiersten Fraust: Well, we got a huge surprise when Natalie and Paris Traeger showed up to the dismay of Brennan Devlin. That feud is starting to take a turn.

Logan Fenix: I never thought in my life I would see a baby attack a grown man and take him to the mat, to the point the roster had to come break it up. Then that 450 Splash from Devlin on Paris..

Kiersten Fraust: I am always for girls doing their thing, so I support Paris for what she’s doing and standing her ground against Brennan. She’s iconic as the city she’s named after.

Logan Fenix: Paris is a no good neanderthal and a degenerate. She doesn’t work here!

Kiersten Fraust: Paris is a sweet angel that Brennan maliciously targeted

Logan Fenix: I saw Santana teaching her how to hide knives on her person before she came out there.

Kiersten Fraust: It’s a bit much. But we also have the Christ Centered Combat that happened before the show. It was just as crazy as CCW.

Logan Fenix: And on Christ Centered Combat, we had a new Combat Crown Champion crowned in Azi, who beat Jacob Kuntz in the Sandcastle Deathmatch, and general manager of CCC Faith McKinsey has been challenged to a best of seven series with Tinsley Marshall.

Kiersten Fraust: I really feel for Faith. I mean I can only imagine running a show is tough, but to also have somebody wanting your head and want nothing more to embarrass you on television. Tinsley needs to chill out.

Logan Fenix: Tinsley is trying to assert her dominance, it could have been her in charge of the show and Faith got it all. But at the end of CCW Christ Centered Combat, we saw Heather Haze, the current Golden Ticket Champion attack the new Combat Crown Champion, Azi. Could we see a title vs. title match at Wrestling With Christ?

Kiersten Fraust: It is possible. Although Azi is capable of defending the Combat Crown championship to whoever dares step up to her, Heather Haze has taken that challenge. Maybe it could turn into a champion versus champion situation? Wrestling With Christ could settle that real quick.

Logan Fenix: And then we have several new contenders for the CCW championships. Rika seems to have been picked to face off against C.J. Sweet for the Christcore, and the self proclaimed Golden Ticket, Rivers, has won his opportunity to face Siberia Zombie for the Television championship. And who can forget the tags, the hot ones, Children of the Moon have gotten their shot at Brew Collar by defeating the Killer Baes.

Keirsten Fraust: I find this to be very interesting because C.J. has been on a rampage ever since she's won the christcore championship and she's picked up a few along the way. How do you think Rika will fare in their future match up?

Logan Fenix: Rika has been a force, and I mean, I don’t know. If this were any other company, and in the Tokyo dome, Rika would win because Japan. But who’s to say? She couldn’t even go to Saudi Arabia last time, something about being banned, which Essence did first.

Kiersten Fraust: Then you have to factor in that girl gang of hers....

Logan Fenix: The trio of CJ Sweet, Rimadonna and Astraea are hot, literally and figuratively right now. I wouldn’t want to be Rika. But okay, Siberia Zombie has been a force, she has been to Saudi Arabia and won the Television Championship in the past. She bizarrely claims this place ‘spawned’ her, and now, the Golden Ticket, the man who holds the record for most Golden Ticket Championship reigns, Rivers, looks to drown her in the depths for the CCW Television Championship…

Kiersten Fraust: Looking at both competitors, this match is very hard to predict. Siberia has that heart and fight in her- two things that got her the television championship. Then we have Rivers, who has just as much fight in him as Siberia does and puts everything on the line in the name of independent wrestling. Like you said Rivers has the most golden ticket reigns to his name so he knows what it takes to win a championship.. If you had to choose one, Logan, who would you choose?

Logan Fenix: I’m going to go with Siberia Zombie, she’s proven, Rivers still has questions about if he’ll crumble under the pressure. Now, Kiersten, you pick?!

Kiersten Fraust: Like gun to my head... Probably... Rivers. I mean I like Siberia and she's such an amazing wrestler but I could see Rivers walking away with the Television championship, especially if Belle Valentine is at ringside. She could be the reason why he wins.

Logan Fenix: Hmm, that’s fair… but then for the last one I mentioned. Brew Collar, Wilkow and Danielson taking on Bex Thoreau and Julie Miri, the Children of the Moon. Everyone has an opinion on how this will go, and since the COTM came here, these two groups have been on a collision course. Who ya got?

Kiersten Fraust: The tag team division has been really hot in CCW right now and it's all thanks to Children of the Moon and Brew Collar. Not trying to take anything away from the Killer Baes, they're great despite their little annoyances. But wherever Children of the Moon go success seems to follow them. My pick is pretty obvious. Children of the Moon hands down.

Logan Fenix: Brew Collar for me, but, there is another question. The Killer Baes have mentioned having friends, we’ve seen Astrid and Corrie interacting with two other girls on Twitter… could we see their tag team grow into a stable, and what would that mean for this match? Clearly the feud isn’t over between them and the COTM… but the COTM and Brew Collar have their own problems. What a mess.

Kiersten Fraust: More girls added to The Killer Baes? That only spells trouble for everybody. And speaking of trouble, Conor Machina made his grand appearance on CCW television with an open challenge. A challenge that was answered by Void Walker. Watching the whole thing gave me the creeps.

Logan Fenix: Bun Bun is Void Walkers brother, Kiersten. A Southern religious mans’ brother is a man who wears a rabbit mask over his head. And at the end, Conor accidentally unmasked him… and now Bun… I guess Ben Walker is more dangerous than ever alongside his brother?

Kiersten Fraust: Oh, right. Bun Bun Ben Walker definitely made his presence known when he hit Conor with a chair and proceeded to viciously beat him with it. Either way, Void Walker said he would see Conor at Wrestling With Christ. Sounds like a match will be set between the two.

Logan Fenix: I like Bun Bun Ben Walker. Let’s see… after that, there’s something weird going on with Neve. Did you see her reacting to that guy heckling? She should have gotten him thrown outta here!

Kiersten Fraust: Yeah, I saw him and that huge sign he was carrying. She must have known him? I mean you can say that about literally most of the fans in the venues. Most of them are there to watch and react to what's going on, then there's the hecklers. Moving on, we have to discuss what took place after Mitch McMaster stumbled into the venue. While Angel was trying to compose her father, Chellsea showed up to tell Angel who her next opponent would be and that is Mykie Villanueva! Angel didn't look too happy.

Logan Fenix: I hope those people Mitch ran over are okay too. But yeah, Mykie Villanueva, she hasn’t been seen since that tour Rock Pearson did back in Guatemala. Apparently it’s gonna be a main event of CCW Sunday School, the morning before Wrestling With Christ?

Kiersten Fraust: We heard it from Chellsea's own mouth. So, Angel McMaster versus Mykie Villanueva is official for CCW Sunday School. Considering the outcome of the Mitch and Santana match, Angel is going to be a very busy champion come Wrestling With Christ. You saw what happened in that match, right?

Logan Fenix: An old man was caught on fire, there was an attempted drowning, stabbing, and more.

Kiersten Fraust: Now Santana Johnson is the number one contender for the CCW heavyweight championship at Wrestling With Christ. Let that sink in.

Logan Fenix: Nate Paxton was visibly angry at ringside, he’s been professional but he’s a outspoken critic of deathmatch wrestling. People on the internet are mad. All 47 of Santana's daughters are ecstatic, though.

Kiersten Fraust: I do not want to be Angel right now. Defending your championship is one thing but to defend it against a guy like Santana is another. The CCW heavyweight championship match is going to be a roller coaster ride.

Logan Fenix: As if being in Saudi Arabia wouldn’t make you nervous enough.

Kiersten Fraust: Speaking of making someone nervous, I know our next guest will. Please welcome our guests at this time, one of the many bosses in CCW Chellsea and her lovely husband Daequan!

The cameras pan over to where Chellsea and Daequan walk from as she takes his arm, leading to the table to join Logan and Kiersten. Both given microphones.

Kiersten Fraust: Thanks for joining us guys.

Chellsea: Thank you so much for having us. Your outfit is so cute.

Daequan didn’t speak, silently looked between Kiersten and Logan, then down at Chellsea’s rear end. Then he looked up to Kiersten and Logan and gave them a thumbs up.

Logan Fenix: Uh… hi to you too Daequan.

Kiersten Fraust: He's just showing love and appreciation for his wife. I just gotta ask now, what made you bring Mykie Villanueva to CCW?

Chellsea: It was my Dae's idea actually. I know he doesn't speak much but when he does, he says the most beautiful and intelligent things. Plus, Angel likes to talk herself up to anybody who'll listen to her and as a boss here, I have the unfortunate duty of finding her an opponent before defending the CCW heavyweight championship against Santana.

Logan Fenix: Are you not worried Santana will go too far? He’s known for…

Daequan makes a stabbing motion, while standing behind Chellsea in an uncomfortable seeming manner and seemingly mesmerized by her.

Logan Fenix: Yeah that, stabbing. And how about unfairness? She has to face Mykie before she can even get to that murderer?

Chellsea: I did set up the match between Mitch and Santana because it was fair. Mitch lost in the end which means that Santana gets his shot at Angel's championship. I don't see the problem with that. Yes, Santana is so out there with his antics and I was always under the impression that Angel is up for any challenge. My first priority to any wrestler who steps into our CCW ring is their health and well being.

Daequan: Men and women of action are favored by the Goddess of luck.

Logan Fenix: What.

Kiersten Fraust: I think he means that you get what you get... Daequan, who's your favorite tag team right now?

Daequan paused and thought about it for a moment before pointing at Chellsea’s chest.

Logan Fenix: Yes we get it you love your wife but an actual tag team, please.

Chellsea: Calm down, Logan. My husband is a little camera shy. But we absolutely enjoy Farm Fresh Beef. I hope we see more of them.

A sudden scream echoed out, the voice of none other than Sydney Vahle who was a known Farm Fresh Beef fangirl.

Sydney Vahle: “YESSSS!”

Logan Fenix: “Hi Sydney, bye Sydney.”

He waved as she passed by the door.

Kiersten Fraust: She's crazy about that team. Anyway, what can we expect from the upcoming Wrestling With Christ? Any surprises planned? Because judging from the last time CCW was in Saudi Arabia literally all hell broke loose.

Daequan: When Chellsea got her titties out, everyone goes all out. I think that answers your question.

Logan Fenix: That does not answer our question and please don’t have those out over there Chellsea, they’re very old world and it would be unsafe.

Chellsea: Dae likes to joke around. And I am very well aware of how they live in Saudi Arabia and I will be respecting their culture for the safety of the roster that will be traveling with us.

Logan Fenix: Okay, just a few more questions, I think. You’ve been sort of running the show alongside Brennan Devlin. How is that relationship working out? At first it seemed like you were butting heads but, you two were actually seemingly getting along at Thot for Christ?

Chellsea: Brennan and I have an understanding, and yes we've been friendly. We'd rather be working together than butting heads. The work environment is so much better because of it and the product has gotten better because of it. We like seeing results with the hard work our roster puts in.

Logan Fenix: Anymore questions, Kiersten?

Daequan remained behind Chellsea, hands on her rear end now. They were a bit uncomfortably in love and made it awkward for everyone.

Kiersten Fraust: Who are you wearing?

Chellsea: Chanel.

Daequan: She’ll be wearing my *bleep* in a second.

Before they could ask much else, Daequan lifted Chellsea up onto the table and actually started undressing her while they kissed passionately. Several cords being torn down or loose as Logan and Kiersten looked on in horror.

Logan Fenix: Shit, cut, cut, we can’t show this.

Kiersten Fraust: Cut the feed now, this has been Talking Christ! See you guys next time!

A blur coming up on the screen at some sudden nudity as the feed slowly shut off.

#wrestlingwithchrist #talkingchrist #efed #chat

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patheticphallacy · 5 years

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This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I don’t do many tags anymore (that aren’t related to music, you can pry the Playlist Book Tag from my cold, dead hands) I saw a few really great takes on the tag and looked at the questions and figured this is one for me!

A little about my reading history:

Since April of 2018, I’ve found myself enjoying reading more than I have since around 2013 when I first joined the book community. It’s become a lot more personal and just reading on a whim, not hesitating to DNF and leave things half-read until I’m interested in the book again. My memories of what I read is a lot stronger, even though I’m reading more.

At this point in the year I’ve read 170 things, mostly manga and comics, which I’m honestly really happy about as they make me happiest as I read them. That also means I have a lot to choose from in my answers.

Without further ado: the questions!

1) BEST BOOK YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2019?

Okay, so a lot of my top books happen to be horror, and I promise you that’s purely accidental.

The Elementals by Michael McDowell: 80’s horror where two families journey to their Summer houses after the death of one of the matriarchs and find themselves at the hands of not just the elements, but forces that reside in the land.

The Silent Companions by Laura Purcell: A gothic told across three different points of view centred around a widow who travels to her late husbands estate and is tormented by strange wood carvings who seemingly move by themselves.

Neverworld Wake by Marisha Pessl: A year after the death of her boyfriend, a teenager journeys out to visit her estranged friends, only for them to end up stuck in a time loop repeating the same day until they can come to a unanimous decision on which one of them deserves to live.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: Horror classic where four people travel to Hill House and experience strange hauntings that begin to send them mad. Also highly recommend the Netflix show!

Teen Dog by Jake Lawrence: The coming-of-age graphic novel with anthropomorphic animals you never knew you needed. Full of innocent existentialism and themes of growing up!

2) BEST SEQUEL YOU’VE READ SO FAR IN 2019?

They aren’t sequels, but these are my favourite volumes in longer series! It counts! They are all follow ups to previous volumes!

Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 9 by Hiromu Arakawa: If there was a Connie has to go more than 5 posts without mentioning FMA challenge, I would lose. Literally the best possible conclusion to this series, it broke my heart.

Haikyuu!! Volume 2 by Haruichi Furudate: My review for this on Goodreads was literally just ‘Oikawa AND Nishinoya?! In one volume?! I’m having a crisis!’ which sums up me reading this whole series.

My Hero Academia: Vigilantes Volume 3 by Hideyuku Furuhashi: Volume 2 of this series was an absolute goddamn mess but this volume? Wow. My review if you want to read me lose my mind. Some spoilers for extra content and some characters, but it’s not really overly spoiling plot points.

No.6 Volume 5 by Atsuko Asano: I have gone on so many spiels to my best friend about how amazing this series is. It honestly deserves recognition for being a very thought provoking and character driven dystopian, the character development is truly a work of art and I wish I could write a world and dynamics as well as Atsuko Asano does.

3) NEW RELEASE YOU HAVEN’T READ YET, BUT WANT TO?

I can’t really give much information on these seeing as I haven’t read them, so sorry everyone!

Teen Titans: Raven by Kami Garcia: I confess, I am getting this because of Gabriel’s artwork. I’ve been a huge fan for a while now, so it just felt right to have this in my collection, especially considering I want to learn more about the Titans.

Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner: Very mixed reviews on this one, but oh well!

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman: Everyone and their mother is talking about this book, honestly.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling: It’s like a space survival story but with these weird zombie creatures? I’ll be going for the audiobook with this one.

4) MOST ANTICIPATED RELEASE FOR THE SECOND HALF OF THE YEAR?

I made a whole post about this that I worked very hard on so please check it out, but I guess I’ll include the only three I’ve been able to pre-order.

Tunnel of Bones by Victoria Schwab: This is the sequel to City of Ghosts, a middle-grade horror story I really love, and I’m looking forward to this one even more as it’s set in the catacombs of Paris!

Who Put This Song On? by Morgan Parker: Several people have described this as having some of the best mental health rep in young adult fiction, so I’ll be reading this for my dissertation that I’m starting in January.

The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen: I reallllly love the podcast this is based on (The Bright Sessions, also created by Lauren) and Adam and Caleb are my absolute favourites, so this book is my JAM.

5) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT?

BOY DO I HAVE A LOT OF THESE. one of the cons of reading so much is that I end up being disappointed by significantly more books than others do, which sucks, but I honestly don’t find myself hating the reading experience. Even if i hate the book, for me, tearing it apart can become fun!

Slam Volume 1 by Pamela Ribon: I love roller derby, but the characters and the lack of narrative in this volume really didn’t do it for me. Maybe if more time was spent making sense of plot at the start I’d have enjoyed it, but there were so many time jumps I stopped caring.

It Only Happens in the Movies by Holly Bourne: One day UKYA readers are gonna have to sit down and properly talk about how the first maybe 5 years of the decade were spent crowning titles and writers as the leads of UKYA despite the fact that their books aren’t really good. They contain thinly-veiled misogyny, really bad writing that uses chat speak in-text as if it’s normal, stereotyping of characters (they really love the bitchy mean girl trope) and what the kids would call racism that doesn’t explicitly state it’s racism, like, say, dropping slurs or having outwardly racist beliefs, but when a character says someone ‘might be Asian or Jewish’ and then laughs about it and never addresses it again, you kind of guess it’s some kind of internalised racism nobody feels comfortable addressing.

Trouble by Non Pratt: SEE ABOVE, only this one has the most terribly written step-incest subplot that never properly gets resolved or treated with the disgust it deserves!

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne: Weird possessive vibes, references to stalking, and shitty love triangles. This received the best rating of the bunch (3), but the general disappointment I feel is at the continued inclusion of uncomfortably possessive male love interests dehumanizing and treating women like they are better seen not heard in romance fiction. Tessa Dare doesn’t treat me like this!

The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham: This one is less hate, more just disappointment. I was so bored reading this, honestly, it feels unbearably long, and the romance is so unneeded and dull.

6) BIGGEST SURPRISE?

The Unsound by Cullen Bunn: I’ve learnt that my opinion on generally negatively rated comics and graphic novels is going to completely differ. This is very surreal, with a lot of graphic self harm and violence, and will definitely not be for everyone, but I very much enjoy it!

Sweet Blue Flowers Volume 1 by Takako Shimura: I literally heard about this, ordered the first volume day-of, and then read it as soon as it arrived and loved it. It’s predominantly a slice-of-life/romance following sapphic teenage girls!

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan: Everytime I think of this I feel soft. For a fantasy this is very easy to read, with snappy dialogue and a lot of wit from our main character. What surprised me most, however, was how deep and introspective it got exposing the fears of our main character, something not enough portal fantasies spend time doing, and I’m really grateful to have read this book!

A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay: Can you really be surprised if you go into a book with no expectations? I knew vague details about plot, and a brief allusion to a dollhouse in a review I happened to scroll past, and I ended up loving this.

Lazaretto by Clay McLeod Chapman: This is an absolutely horrifying comic about a flesh eating virus that breaks out during the first few weeks of college and sends the campus into complete lockdown. It’s honestly tragic, and does not have a happy ending, but I love it? I usually hate endings that are bad for our main characters, but everything about this just really wrapped me in a blanket- horrified me, sure, yet it was weirdly comforting.

The Past and Other Things that Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson: Again, I saw one person praise this book and listened to the audiobook immediately after and really enjoyed it. It’s very moving with some main characters that will test your patience but you’ll end up loving.

7) FAVOURITE NEW AUTHOR?

Paul Tremblay and Michael McDowell!

8) NEWEST FICTIONAL CRUSH?

Kirie in Uzumaki by Junji Ito! Makoto in My Hero Academia: Vigilantes! Charlotte Holmes in A Study in Charlotte! I’m noticing these are all women, which is kind of on brand for me.

9) NEWEST FAVOURITE CHARACTER?

Seeing as all my crushes are on women, I’ll try and pick some other favourites here! I’ve really fallen in love with Tensei Iida in My Hero Academia and eternally love Thirteen, Teen Dog in Teen Dog, Shion in No.6 (the character development!!!!), and basically the whole cast of The Avant-Guards by Carly Usdin! Tom in the Memoirs of Lady Trent series has really grown on me after book one, too.

10) BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY?

BOY. I cry a lot. I cried reading Winnie the Pooh, which I finally picked up all the stories of earlier this year; Neverworld Wake; the Save Me Webtoon, a great webcomic based off of the BTS music video continuity; I Want To Eat Your Pancreas by Yoru Sumino, which beat me over the head with a frying pan while I was distracted. Sheets by Brenna Thummler didn’t make me cry but it did make me incredibly sad.

11) BOOK THAT MADE YOU HAPPY?

A lot of what I read makes me happy! There’s Super Fun Sexy Times by Meredith McClaren, a small collection of 5 stories based on the sex lives of different superheroes/villains/etc.; My Love Story by Kazune Kawahara which makes me eternally happy and soft every time I pick up a volume; In Other Lands, which, while sad at times, is also very funny and has my exact brand of humour; and there’s the Haikyuu!! manga series, which I love and adore and all the characters are hilarious, even while being serious.

12) FAVOURITE BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATION?

I haven’t really seen any? Does Boys Over Flowers count if I haven’t read the manga OR finished the show yet? Either way, Boys Over Flowers is great and so melodramatic. If you push through the drama and very strange and problematic behaviour, it’s honestly got a cute romance between two tsundere people and enough stupid hair to giggle at.

13) FAVOURITE REVIEW YOU’VE WRITTEN?

LOOOADS! I’m very proud of my reviews this year, and it seems like a lot of them are horror!

my review of haunting of hill house by shirley jackson

my review of a head full of ghosts by paul tremblay

my review of the elementals by michael mcdowell

my review of meddling kids, where i discussed harmful stereotypes and tropes within horror fiction

three horror reviews: this is not a test, the silent companions, uzumaki

my review of poetry book shame is an ocean i swim across, where i discuss body image issues

14) MOST BEAUTIFUL BOOK YOU BOUGHT THIS YEAR?

Other Words For Smoke by Sarah Maria Griffin! It’s really pretty and has beautiful pink sprayed edges, and I absolutely love the owl in the background. I think the mix of pink and gold on the cover is so striking, too, it really is a book that stands out.

15) WHAT BOOKS DO YOU NEED TO READ BY 2020?

I actually have a Summer 2019 TBR if you want loads of information on everything I plan on reading.

However, other than all the books I kind of have to read for my first semester back at University, I really want to read Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz and When the Truth Unravels by RuthAnne Snow.

What would you pick for these questions? Please let me know in the comments if you made a post of this tag, I’d love to read them!

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.

I also currently have a GoFundMe set up to help fund my third year of University, so any stray pound helps ❤

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Mid-Year Book Freak Out Tag! This is a tag I always see making its rounds on YouTube and in the blogsphere, and while I don't do many tags anymore (

#book #book tag #books #mid-year book freak out tag

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jq37 · 4 years

Text

The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 13 Family Ties

Regroup

Welcome back to Candia, y’all.

As the cast tries to get a handle on their giggles from whatever shenanigans happened off-screen between episodes, the PCs land back at the monastery of the Spinning Star. All the rescued civilians are grateful and the monks help to patch them up. The group is a little worried their enemies will follow them through the standing stones but only a high level Candian magic user would be able to do that so they’re probably fine. They also learn that all the weapons they stole are basically +1 to attack magical items--not useful to them but maybe for their allies.

Spearia tends to Joren (and we’re cursed with the phrase “wrist milk”) and then goes Full Mom Mode on Liam with a several minutes long hug. Theo joins the hug so he can ask Spearia if she knows any other Druids that could do that transportation (she doesn’t know of any in Buzzybrook but there could always be others she doesn’t know about) which turns into a discussion about the SPF. Ruby thinks the SPF is on their side but the others are more wary and Rina, as before, is specifically against her. She says the SPF gets her powers from the Bulb and the sharp division between the two is just a kind of distraction from the bigger issue. Ruby calls it a conspiracy theory (though Theo says Lazuli believed something similar) and stalks off. Amethar runs after her but, en route, stops to have a conversation with Joren.

He tells Joren that Rina is queen now and that he (as in both of them really) need to start doing the smart thing and not just the tough thing. Joren razzes him about the new attitude until Amethar says that Jet is dead which turns him sympathetic and basically gets him on board--it’s not the fight Liam was anticipating. He says that they’re gonna have to make a big show about recognizing Rina if this is gonna work and asks if they have any allies who can vouch. Amethar says the Dairy Islands are with them and they have a crazy plan that involves getting the Book of Leaves (St. Citrina’s Lasso of Truth book).

Theo runs to catch up with Joren and Amethar but, on the way there, catches Ruby and says they need to stick together. Then the three guys go and find Rina. They basically bend the knee to her and say they’re at her service. Rina is not as excited as you might think though. She accepts the endorsement while barely holding back tears, saying that she’s aware the support doesn’t come with enthusiasm but she appreciates it all the same. Then she goes with Gooey back to her contingent of followers to celebrate with them, not seeming like she’s in a celebratory mood at all.

Cumulus and Liam have gone to the library of the monastery to try and dig into the info they grabbed during the fight and Ruby goes to talk to Liam. She confides in him that she thinks this plan sucks because even if they are able to get Rina onto the throne, it still means they win on the terms of their enemies. They’re still working within the system and the people who killed Jet and killed Preston don’t pay for anything. Liam says he’s still super down for killing all of these people and he really doesn’t think the plan is gonna work. He thinks it’s going to end in war either way. They try to decipher the map but it’s hard and they recruit the monks to help work on it overnight.

Snicker-Snack talks to Cumulus and says--echoing his own thoughts--that Rina is crazy powerful and a possible heir to Lazuli’s title of Archmage. He wonders if they should swear themselves to her the way they were sworn to Lazuli. Cumulus thinks it might be a good idea and Snicker-Snack says that it’s Cumulus’s call since he’s the most senior monk.

Theo finds Rina again and asks if she thinks they’re in danger of getting ambushed by the SPF. Rina (after getting a head shake from Brennan) says no, not this night but she is worried that the SPF is working with the Bulb. She and her guys will be up all night keeping watch (and partying) so he can, “Go back to [his] family.”

Brain Food

In the morning, the monks have finished looking through all of the info the PCs stole last episode which means it’s time for a good old fashioned info dump. There’s a lot happening so I broke it into sections:

Military Movements

The south of Candia has been totally taken over by Calroy and his guys. He’s fully posted in Castle Candy and every state except for the Dairy Islands has recognized him as a legitimate ruler.

The only non-traitor Candian troops are basically all at the Great Stone Candy Mountains (bc they were on route to help Jawbreaker).

As in Ruby’s vision from Lazuli, the invasion of Castle Candy did fall apart due to discord. Specifically, it was a mix of Plumbeline’s troops and Bulbian troops and because the Pontifex held the position that there could be no Concord without all of the states of the OG Concord under the terms of the OG agreement (meaning including Candia) Plumbeline said, “Fine. If there’s no Concord, there’s no reason I have to help you,” and she withdrew her troops.

So, to be clear, Calroy did a coup. The Imperial soldiers that are there are not there to invade Candia. They’re there doing peacekeeping stuff. The non-Imperial bread soldiers are Ciabatta’s men--he went home post spy session with the girls and used the info he stole to assassinate all the obstacles between him and being dictator for life and then decided an invasion of Candia was a good way to keep the peoples’ approval. Candia was picked for no reason other than it was a sitting duck due to all the other insane stuff that’s going on (chief or which is loss of Concord protection). And the church is there cause...actually, let me start another heading for this because it’s a doozy.

The Bulbian Church

The Pontifex has decided that the Ramsian Doctrine is in full effect. The reason they’re in Candia is because they’ve called a crusade.

Kerradin has a fancy new title--Mace of the Faith--and is leading it.

She’s called open season on all Candians--not just soldiers, literally anybody. She’s calling for a full genocide. The church’s policy is, if you kill a Candian, your soul is saved. If you destroy Candian standing stones, your soul and your family’s souls are saved. It’s real chilling shit.

There’s been pushback from bishops and archbishops about the policy--obviously Candian ones but from other countries as well--saying that they can’t support this and please can she reconsider (they can’t really be more forceful than that without risking being killed themselves).

Calroy, sensing the way the wind is blowing, has sent out an official statement saying that he renounced his pagan ways and wants to be re-baptized into the Bulbian faith.

We learn that the reason the Pontifex is being difficult with Plumbeline about the technicalities of the Concord agreement and why it can’t just be back on is because she wants to stay in limbo for as long as possible so she has a chance to also call a crusade against the Meatlands--both for being so openly pagan and for the killing of Archbishop Raddica (mentioned in I think episode 3).

There was a lot of money that the crew ignored while looting last episode and that was money to be used to pay Meatlander mercenaries apparently.

Group Dynamics

So Calroy is kind of courting all three camps here. As I said before, he’s agreeing with the crusade and saying he wants to be baptized to court the church.

Cal is also saying to Ceresia that a crusade is needed to cleanse Candia and a new Concord could be formed if Ceresia were to conquer it and make it a part of Ceresia. Ciabatta in an intercepted letter says that Cal could possibly be governor of Candia as a province of Cersia--exactly what he wants.

Whenever Calroy talks about the new Concord, he mentions a Concordant *Empress* who could be anyone, which also gives Plumbeline what she wants. He’s basically like that Always Sunny clip about playing both sides so he always comes out on top.

Everyone is planning a meeting to talk about logistics and a new Concord and all that but Ciabatta doesn’t want to meet in Comida or Vegetania after the whole deal with his name being spoken and rejected by the Book of Leaves. Cal has opened Castle Candy as a meeting place.

The Pontifex is bringing Kerradin and guards to protect her and the Book of Leaves to make sure there’s no funny business happening (ie: Cal conspiring privately with Plumbeline or something).

And, to be clear, none of these people seem to like or trust each other. It’s all a matter of being able to use each other for mutual benefit. There’s lots of evidence of discord and resentment. [To that point, here is some very dope art.]

Misc.

The various baddies haven’t been able to figure out watersteel--it seems that Alfredi left something out of her notes and took the secret to her grave. They did figure out the bread constructs though as we saw last episode.

There are notes about the Sanctus Putris which is a church doctrine that runs counter to the Ramsian Doctrine and it says that to keep the Hungry One at bay, there has to be a certain level of rot in the world.

There is a letter between Onionpatch and the Sanctus Putris dudes saying that they have located the home of the SPF (the Ice Cream Temple) and will get there tomorrow (as in tmrw from their POV).

Finally, rumors of Rina are floating around and the policy is basically, “Who cares if she exists or if she’s legit or not? If you see her, kill her.” So Emily has gone from being a huge target to...being a huge target. That’s what happens when you play two heir apparents in a row.

And deep exhale. That was A Lot.

Gameplan

Joren thinks the best plan is to get all their armies together and publicly take the knee to Rina at Manylicks to help legitimize her. Ruby, again, is against this plan because it would mean, at least on paper, being on the same side as Ciabatta. Spearia gets where she’s coming from but says it’s just to get things settled and they can always leave the Concord again once they’re back in control.

Gooey brings up the meeting everyone is gonna be at and Liam suggests getting someone from the Meatlands there so they can force the Pontifex to say on the Book of Leaves that they’re her next target, winning them an ally. Rina pipes up that she has allies in the Meatlands so maybe she can help arrange that. Jawbreaker also wants to just spread the word that Rina exists to make things more politically complicated and give the Dairy Islands (and possibly the Meatlands) a legit reason to side with them/stop the Imperials since the Concord will be back on.

Rina, unprompted, says again that she doesn’t care about the throne, she’s just anti-Bulb and pro magic. Cara and Ruby kinda glance at each other while that is going on.

At this point, Jawbreaker is fully on board with her and toasts to her as queen. Liam warns her about the target on her back but she says she grew up abused by Bulbian nuns. She can handle herself. Cumulus also officially pledges the service of the Spinning Star monks to her. She’s just picking up allies left and right.

Anyway, Jawbreaker, Spearia, and the rescued townsfolk plan to go for Manylicks to rally the troops. Spearia asks for an escort so they send Jack and his sailors to protect them. Before they leave, Liam has a heart to heart with his dad about how war changes you and forcing yourself to be hard so others get to be soft in which Joren finally calls him the correct name.

Cumulus thinks that, if a crusade is happening, the monastery will be a big target so it makes sense for the monks to gather the artifacts and hang with Rina’s marauders for a bit. They also decide to disassemble the teleportation circle once they leave so they’re more secure.

Ruby and Amethar are up on the parapets of the monastery kinda doing that thing where you’re not fully talking but just being like, “*Huge Sigh*”/”Yeahhhhh” with someone you’re close to. Cara shows up and says she’s going with Jawbreaker and his people to Manylicks while the PCs go for the Ice Cream Temple. Ruby asks how long she’s known magic and Cara says Lazuli taught her. Ruby asks why she never taught them and Cara says she was going to when they matured but since they never did, she didn’t want to give them more tools to run away with. Ruby says maybe they wouldn’t have run away so much if she’d trusted them. Cara basically takes psychic damage from that and Rina, who is near enough that she can see what’s happening, catches her attention for some sympathetic eye contact because she knows what that feels like.

Amethar asks for a moment alone with Ruby and apologies for having been a bad dad. Ruby protests that he hasn’t been one but he insists that he has and says that he hasn’t known what to do to help her process Jet’s death. Ruby says it’s not his fault and there’s nothing he can do. The fact of the matter is she was never alone and now she’ll always be alone. Amethar says that’s not true. She won’t be alone because he’s there for her and Jet still is too, though in a different way. He can’t stand watching her push her friends away at every turn. He asks her to please, just be here with them. Ruby breaks down a little and says that she had to run away as the most important person in the world to her died and the only way she can even begin to live with that is by getting revenge. Oh don’t worry, Amethar says. They will be killing *all* of those people.

Sickly Sweet

The team to raid the Ice Cream Temple is comprised of the PCs plus Swifty, Jon Bon, and Gooey (who is having some mutually confusing dom/sub sexual tension with Theo which is a sentence I hate to type but posterity is the main goal here so I don’t have much of a choice now do I). They teleport as close as they can (the monks disassembling the teleportation mechanism once they get there) and then it’s still another 2-3 hours to get there. It’s very cold, like the Himalayas and everyone takes cold damage just by being there. Rina (Invisible) and Cumulus (tied to a rope held by Theo) are up front to try and keep everyone else from triggering traps as they walk up the steps.

They eventually come upon gates in front of an arch and a hallway with a huge locked doorway in front of it. And there is a symbol of a huge spoon in front of the door. Rina passes Winterscoop in front of it and it opens. They follow her down the hallway and Cumulus triggers a trap when he takes point but Rina, holding Winterscoop, learns that if she takes the lead, she auto-disarms the traps.

As they walk down the hall, Rina sees the eyes of the SPF and hears her voice in her head, “I can’t see you, but I know you’re here.” The SPF says the temple was made by those like her (Rina) but she (the SPF) is the only one who’s been there for quite some time and her pupils narrow to slits.

Amethar sees an image of Saphria who says, “Long way from home, brother,” before disappearing.

Because of how well lit the hallway is, Ruby currently has no shadow.

Liam, as they walk, smells a quick whiff of hot chocolate and cinnamon.

They get to the end of the hallway which branches off into three directions: there’s a staircase going up to a door (marked with the Sucrosi symbol for the SPF which Ruby recognizes because Laz shows up as a quick vision and tells her and Theo recognizes as having appeared in the sky before the battle that killed Laz--Rina also recognizes it and it is the SPF’s actual name, not one of her titles, so it seems possibly magically significant), to the right there’s some weird combo of illusion and conjuration magic which makes them think that there’s a combo of true things and tricks and like maybe some of the stuff they’ve been seeing out of the corners of their eyes as they’ve traveled would be there, and to the left there’s a locked door marked armory.

Ruby uses her thieves' tools and Mage Hand to get the armory door open and it turns out it’s actually a library (which everyone but Theo is disappointed about). Inside, they find a book in Bulbosi that’s filled with with ancient spirits of the other realms--the Jolly Giant, the Hamburger Helper, and (at Emily’s prompting) Wonder Bread. It’s basically a checklist of magical spirits from the other kingdoms that the church has destroyed and further proof that Candia isn’t more inherently magical than anyplace else. They’ve just fought to protect their magic.

On the last page, there’s again mention of the Dracoria Azucar with an inverted symbol of the SPF covered in spikes and surrounded by magic and then in the middle of the page a chocolate egg which Rina tells Liam is what they’re there for.

The book suddenly slams shut and flies away. Outside, they hear the door at the top of the stairs open. They get out and walk up the stairs into this chamber at the heart of the mountain. It's a massive room with huge icicles coming down, dim light, and a ton of mist. They're kind of on a platform suspended above a bunch of emptiness. In the middle, there's a tower of frozen ice cream scoops and at the center is a small opening. Surrounding it and floating around it are huge freezer burned ice cream cones and popsicles. At the top of the tower, frozen into it is a chocolate egg (a chocolate smear inside the ice indicating that it was incredibly hot).

The SPF appears in front of them in her cute glamour bearing the mended teacup, the note from Lapin, and the heartseed Liam left for Preston. She thanks them for coming and apologizes that she can’t bring Jet back but says now she can bring them to Jet. Ruby asks what that means and she suddenly sees figures in the mist--4 adult women with a younger adult woman along with a figure that looks like Amethar’s dad. There’s a brightly colored road made of illusory light going from where they are, down into the mist. The SPF says it’s a pure Candy-only place and she can take them there. The church means to burn everything sweet out of the world forever and this is the only way to keep them safe. She’s taken a lot of other spirits there already and everyone they’ve lost and love will be waiting for them and they’ll be together forever.

Amethar openly expresses suspicion at the SPF and the SPF says she’s only using the glamour to make them feel more comfortable. Rina says she’d like to see the SPF’s true form and the SPF says, “I bet you would,” seeming ticked off that she has Winterscoop. She compares Rina to Lazuli who wanted to take everything that made Candia special and let it get used and abused by the rabble (her opinion, not mine). Look how that turned out for the Jolly Giant and the Hamburger Helper.

Ruby, in Twinspeak, asks the misty figure of Jet, “Are you real?”

The Jet in the Mist (played by Emily who is on the spot drafted by Brennan to be Jet once again for this moment) says (with the knowledge to back it up), “It’s true, but I don’t know if it’s good.”

With that answer, Ruby gives the SPF a placid thanks but no. She’s grateful that she’s been protecting the magic of Candia but they need it now to keep Candia safe. The SPF says that that’s what she’s doing. If they go into the mist, they’ll be safe. No, says Ruby. If they go into the mist, they’ll be dead. The SPF doesn’t see a difference. Safe and dead? Safe and alive? To-may-to, To-mah-to.

“Are you mad at me?” the SPF asks, childlike.

“No,” Ruby says, evenly.

The SPF says she’s only ever tried to help. She sent Lapin to protect them even though she knew he’d die and they’d lose everything because she knew they wouldn’t come unless they lost everything.

Ruby pauses for a second that feels like ten minutes.

“Did you kill my sister?”

The SPF looks slightly sheepish. “Would you have come here if she was still alive?”

Ruby does the only thing she can do. She pulls her bow.

Looks like someone just jumped Ciabatta in her to-kill list everybody. See you next week!

Things I’m Concerned About

I mentioned this in an ask but I’m concerned Cara is about to pull a Cat’s in the Cradle--meaning, she keeps getting brushed off so I’m worried she’s gonna get really hurt and the PCs will suddenly care and it’ll be too late. This fear is based on nothing except what I would do to be mean to my players. I have a semi-similar fear about Rina but I’m gonna let that sit for a bit.

Ruby. Girl. I know what you’ve just been through but...girl. Please be smart here.

I never love a battle map you can fall off of. That always gives me anxiety--especially when your enemy can fly so it’s not equal footing so to speak.

I feel like “concerned” is a bit of a weak word to describe my feelings on a genocide but I named this section during episode 1 before I knew where things were going so yeah. Bad.

Everyone the group hates being in one place is hypothetically very good but also has the potential to be VERY bad depending on how it plays out.

I really wanna know what the Sanctus Putris is planning is to at the Temple. How aligned are they with the mainstream church? Their main tenant runs pretty counter to what they’re doing right now. Are they potential allies? Why would they be communicating with Onionpatch, known close confidant for the Pontifex? Were they trying to sway her with something there?

Five More Things

Woah! Oh man, that whole last scene with Ruby and the SPF? The music? The tension? The constant, calm No’s from Ruby until the SPF Said That and then the instant switch into Terminator mode? What a scene ender y’all! When I watched it again for this recap, I knew what was coming and it still bodied me. The immediacy with which Ruby/Siobhan grasped the, “This is death” thing was so impressive to me. I loved everything about that last 5 mins. So it seems like the SPF is the one who set up that letter. She might have been posing as Cara in that moment, or maybe it was a full illusion--that seems to be her school of magic. I knew this Fae was shady but man! Can you imagine the world where Lapin is still alive at this point? Would love to know his take on this.

There’s a bit I didn’t mention in the recap when they get back initially and Brennan tries to have the NPCs overrule the PCs on the cuteness levels of the corn monster from last ep that is so funny. Nothing like ganging up on the literal god of the universe you’re playing in. Also funny is him going, “No Zac, this is good,” when he starts listing out the other house spirits/brand names. Gotta love having a captive audience for your carefully constructed nonsense.

OK, so question. What exactly is Calroy’s plan with the church, huh? Because, you can get baptized all you want, you’re still cake my dude. Is he hoping they’ll let him, what? Die of old age while slaughtering his people? Yikes.

When Swifty opened his mouth the first time I was like, “Absolutely not,” but now I kind of love him?

So we learn in this ep that all other spirits get their powers from the Bulb or the Hungry One ultimately which is interesting conceptually. “Power is neutral except for how you use it,” is cool and also generally correct imo. Rina mentions the SPF, “Working with the Bulb” at some point and do you think she means the Bulb or the church? Because the Bulb is mindless but she doesn’t necessarily know that. And if she means the church that would also be wild considering what we learned this ep.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report

54 notes · View notes

jq37 · 5 years

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Ok last one. What's the tea on Prompocalypse?

So...that was something, huh?

This is gonna be quick and dirty (relatively speaking, it’s still too long already as I come back and make this edit) because I have work tomorrow and there are def stuff I want to talk about more and I will (esp if I get asks) but I have work in the morning so let’s just get some words onto the screen aight.

The episode titles have had a pretty consistent naming scheme up until this point so the one word, non alliterative title had me at a 7 on the foreboding scale before we even started.

Everyone was in prom wear! And lol, Siobhan is the only one in a dress. That's almost exactly what I pictured Adaine wearing to prom. That exact shade of blue-green. And Emily looks like a waiter.

I wonder what Bren's plan was for if they'd thwarted the crowning entirely. Got baller initiative, some nat 20's on crown keepaway and smashing, and killed Penelope/Dayne before the bad guys could finish them. Would he just try to crown someone else or would the curb stompage have stood? Not that Goldenhoard would have been a pushover I imagine but jeez. He couldn't have been as strong as his true form.

Sidenote: One of my favorite little character things is Zac and Siobhan helping each other do math.

Fig dimension dooring Gorgug to the stage and then skateboarding away. Amazing.

"I'm going for her crown vs. his crown."/"In this climate?"

OK, shoutout to Zac fo asking for those bombs because they are OP as hell.

I love how they just charged in and started trying to kill people, no questions asked, no explaining themselves to the other students, just bombs out immediately.

My man Riz just couldn't catch a break. I understand the out of story reason the police haven't shown up is that Murph was rolling garbage, but what's taking them so long in story? Where? Is? Sklonda?

"I'm going to jump on the back of the Hangman."/”Presumptuous."

But also, by the end of the fight he's just like, "Do anything any party member tells you to!"

Lou losing it over Riz claiming best friend status. But damn, they kinda are the closest to each other in the party. Wild.

"You know what baby girl? Why don't you ready an action until I get there," said Siobahn to Ally, hilariously for a number of reasons.

They keep saying Teen Wolf and I have no idea what part of the movie they're referring to. This is the second ep in a row.

Lou trying to recruit a super sad Ragh.

They started off this fight really strong. Doing double digit damage and rolling over 20s. I was like, "Damn, they've leveled up. They're doing great!" Of course, we were still in the first third of the ep so I didn't know where we were going. But Lou was right. "Wild first turn."

"And then I shoot him."

I'm half convinced Riz jinxed everyone by saying, "Remember the corn fight?"

Kristen cast ONE spell and then said, "I don't have a lot of spells left." THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TRY AND SAVE ADAINE'S WORTHLESS FAMILY. YOU ARE THE HEALER. YOU NEED ALL YOUR SPELLS.

The students running to get food on the way out. Mood.

They messed Dayne *up*. This was the high point of the battle, objective-wise.

Sidenote, why would Dayne have needed to be at the Seacaster Manor raid? It feels dumb to ris him when he was such an important part of things. Was it literally just because he didn't like Fabian? And he disliked him enough to try and kill his parents? Yeesh.

Kirsten @ Ragh flipping out over Dayne: I see what's going on here.

Ragh really made this fight harder than it had to be. If Gorgug hadn't been grappled before Penelope got the crown they might have had a fighting chance.

So Penelope just straight up let what's her face (Sam I think) get palimpsested? Major yikes. Like I know it's a good thing they killed her but I kinda wish they hadn't so we could learn exactly what the insane thought process was there. She comes off as crazier than Biz because Biz was trapping girls he didn't respect, not his actual friends, you know? Like, did Goldenhoard say he was gonna make her an actual queen or something? Because all this isn't worth just being prom queen.

"Sometimes you make a villain and they die in the first two rounds," said Brennan, as if he didn't know what he was about to unleash on the party. Geez, I don't know how long they would have survived if Penelope and Dayne had been in play for a large chunk of the fight.

Murph's idea to blind him was a good one.

I almost was like, "Thank God Gorthalax got kidnapped," because that was the only good explanation for him seemingly ditching Fig.

Ally: Was that his best friend? (Emily: What./Siobahn: NO.)

"I'm like an advertisement for chicken."/"What chicken adverts are you watching?"/"It's like if you went to prom and there was a dangling chicken leg."/"What prom did you go to?"

Fabian full on clocking Penelope in the face like he's playing Punch Out.

"I killed my father today. Yes."

"This is against the rules but I don't care." In hindsight, this feels like foreshadowing.

"Well, that's the risk you take when you go to Aguefort Adventuring Academy."

"Get on the fucking right team!"

Lou (a la Gimli): And *my* D6.

Brennan pulling out that GIANT final form Goldenhoard figure.

For some reason, it didn't occur to me that he'd be just a legit dragon in his true form. I was picturing like the lich from Adventure Time or something.

Also, I was kinda expecting him to "Drop the act," and majorly change in personality but he was basically the same. Just a dick.

Gorgug rolls a 4. Brennan pauses for a second. The entire party: No.

Zac goes all in every time no matter how dumb it is. I love him.

"Father, stop this."/"What?"

"Not clever enough for the library and not brave enough for the world." Oww, I felt that one. Did Brennan have that waiting to use or did he come up with it on the spot because that was brutal.

Goldenhoard goes through the whole party, trying to hit their weakest point and he gets what might have been a great hit on Fig (You're so unloveable your father would rather go to hell than stay with you.) but she just says, "You have got to stop flirting with me," and completely diffuses the moment. As unflappable as Brennan is, he had to take a sec to jump back into the insult parade after that.

"I'm going to eat you."/"OH MY GOD."/"I'm not making it sexual!"

"*The* ball, bitch."

OK, I was wondering what the deal was with Riz's dad. Because giving him that gun implies a chance to kill his dad's killer but I didn't think it could be Goldenhoard directly because of the binding. That's another point towards Riz being the one to finish him off.

Wild that they weren't able to get any of the kids (save Ragh eventually) to help them with the fight. You go to adventuring school! Cowards! You would never make it at Sunnydale and that school was mostly normals!

The one dude still just getting food while Goldenhoard has turned into a full on dragon.

When an 18 wasn't a high enough roll for Fig to make her fear check, that's when I realized my earlier apprehension wasn't misplaced. I mean, maybe it should have been when he turned into a dragon but it is what it is.

But Fig skating away and then going, "Just kidding bitch," because she got it on the very next turn was hilarious.

Kristen still not being 100% on whether Ragh is gay or not.

Who was gonna kick Ragh off the team for being gay? Maybe Daybreak would have but Gorthalax def wouldn't have. Maybe he means he would have been bullied off?

Siobahn to Kristen/Ally: Stop outing students.

I can't believe Gorgug had to kiss Ragh in the middle of this fight to get his head in the game.

Also, I didn't get into it before because I knew this scene was coming but poor Ragh. Like, I could have told him things were gonna go this way and he's a big dummy for thinking otherwise, but poor dude. And then he finally gets it together and he gets wrecked.

"EMILY, I SOMETIMES CAN'T TELL WHEN YOU'RE REALLY FUCKING WITH ME OR NOT."

Siobhan doing the D&D equivalent of reminding the teacher they had homework.

The amount of dice that Brennan rolled for Goldenhoard was truly horrifying. That's permadeath damage.

AND HE GOT THE HEALER DOWN FIRST. This was the next moment I started sensing a TPK.

"HOMOPHOBE!"/"You hit both of the gay ones!"

Kristen taking damage from Goldenhoard's libertarian speech.

I find it such a Fig move to be like, "Can I use charm person to snap Adaine out of it," instead of the spell actually made for that purpose.

Rolling low perception and getting no information is the worst because then it's like...OK I know something's out there but what dammit?

When Brennan said Fig would have to do opposed athletics against Adaine, that was the first time I was like, "Oh thank God she's so weak."

Murph forgetting to uncanny dodge until midway through the ep was uncharacteristic. Really shows how wild the fight was.

"This kid likes to get his ass beat to a soundtrack."

Fabian refusing to just use the stairs like a normal person.

Penelope going, "What's your deal?" like she's not helping an evil dragon who wants to rule the world.

JAWBONE

JAWBONE JAWBONE JAWBONE

My man Jawbone shot way up on the list of cool adults today.

For real, the scene with Jawbone and Adaine was my second favorite moment of the episode and it would have been my favorite if not for a bit of divine intervention later.

I already made a post about this but Jawbone notices Adaine flipping the hell out and he asks her if she has panic attacks and if her parents gave her any meds for it. She responds in, like, the smallest, most broken and defeated voice with a tiny head shake, "My parents just left and I don't know where they are." Gah, my heart. She was half crying. I was half awake and being kicked in the face with the full force of human emotion. It was a lot. I felt like I was a kid watching that one scene from Fresh Prince again but British-er. She gets that her parents suck and she hates them but she's 14. Everyone wants their parents to love them. It's like in our DNA.

And then Jawbone launches into the wildest motivational speech ever (including all of Kristen's, which is saying a lot) which starts with him sucking off a border patrol agent. (You understand me?/No!)

Ally, MVP of Terrible Speeches: *That* was the point?

Siobhan trying not to crack up and break character throughout that whole scene was great.

I love that Brennan was clearly trying to not encourage people to mess with their med dosage irl because he was very specific about that but also he was like, "A dragon is about to end the world so please shotgun this bottle of magic Xanax and hop on that bike."

I love that Adaine has all the magic stuff in her inventory and then also Xanax.

Aww, Jawbone offered to let her live with him because her house burned down. (I guess that info was on the news?)

And then Adaine rolls a 20 with the help from her meds (and buffs) right away! It's great when the dice cooperate.

"I came here to FUCK SHIT UP. And help children."

"Jawbone rules. I'm so glad we helped him get his life together."

Jawbone is such a sketch person but such a good counselor.

Siobhan calling Goldenhoard and absolute fucking unit sayed be at 5 in the morning when I watched this.

"I AM A CHILD. YOU ARE ATTACKING A BUNCH OF CHILDREN YOU COWARD."

"Then why is your dick out?" Adaine joining in Fig w/ the taunting Goldenhoard via accusations of flirting.

"Why are you guys partially singed?"/"Because he's been attacking us Dad! Also Dad, he kind of used to come on to me all the time."

"Play the drums more and we'll have a full band on stage!"/"...Instead."

"You ruined prom!"/"I RUINED PROM?"

At this point I was thinking, "Geez, there's not a lot of episode left and Penelope isn't even dead yet. How could they possibly defeat Goldenhoard AND have time for tying up loose ends?" TPK vibes increase.

Adaine getting a nat 20 on Arcana, "Yeah it is what it is. You're screwed."

Hell yeah for Adaine giving Goldenhoard her low divination roll to ensure her lightning bolt hit. Not that it ended up mattering that much but still. Sick.

"Well you could have told me before this very moment!"/"I was dead!"

I just checked on the stats of an an adult red dragon in 5E and it's got 256 HP. 256! And look at the other stats! They're wild.

"This is the number of dice?"/"Yeah."/"God."

Fig goes down. Their secondary healer. So, not good. Very not good.

Brennan letting Emily burn Goldenhoard's tie as she passes out because Emily refuses to do nothing.

And Riz goes down too! The one with the med kit! At this point I was like, there is no way this can end well.

"How far away is the hospital?" I love it when they try just normal solutions in this magic game like calling their parents and going to the hospital.

It is an hour and 47 minutes into the episode before Adaine remembers she's wearing a magic coat that can make her anything (within reason). Which, to be fair, it took me a little bit too but, in my defense, I'm not staring at her character sheet.

Real talk, I didn't think she was gonna get anything from the jacket from that ask. Something to beat Kalvaxis is such a big ask.

When Brennan started going into the jacket stuff I was like, this is a really weird deus ex machina if that's what this is. But also, the kids have been hilariously chill with just having Adaine walk around in a jacket filled with people.

There was a lot to unpack there and I'll got to it in another post but I can't do another 4k epic this week y'all. I have work in the morning.

Adaine yelling for Basrar to get them their ice cream before they freaking die.

Aww Gorthalax tried to heal Fig instead of attacking.

"Daddy that was a waste of a turn."

Gorgug who has a million hit points went down and all the healers are down. There are less than ten minutes left in the episode. TPK for sure, I'm thinking.

Adaine flipping people off with a vengeance today.

Also the fact that she totally forgot that she could ask for a healing potion which is totally a thing that she almost def would have been able to get is hilarious. I mean it wouldn't have been as funny if the episode ended differently but, as it stands, hilarious.

"Does the Hangman know medicine?"

"What about this student? Is he studying to be a cleric?"

Adaine is down. That's everyone down but Fabian. Three and a half minutes left. And that's when I realize. There's not enough time for a good ending, but there's not enough time for a bad ending either. But there's no S2. This is an anthology series. What's going on here my sleepy 6am brain is saying.

Fig giving her dad bardic inspiration while passed out because Emily is Emily.

Everyone (exceptt Riz) was making their saves. I'm thinking, "Is next season different characters, same setting. Maybe a bunch of years in the future? Legacy characters?" I'm trying to put together the fact that this is the finale with 2 minutes left with the fact that they're playing different characters next season. The pieces aren't fitting.

And that's because I couldn't have predicted what was about to happen.

Ally, clearly joking says, "Can I roll for a nat 20 and just be alive?"

Brennan, barely thinking, says, "Sure, go for it," as casually as if he was okaying a perception check.

Murph and Lou are cracking up at the absurdity of the ask.

Ally says, "This is to the corn god," half solem, half smiling.

Siobhan holds her hand over the dice like she's blessing them.

"I know I left for a while," Ally starts as the dice are cast and...

"NAT 20 MOTHERFUCKER!"

Everyone goes WILD.

Ally punches air.

Brennan looks like someone slapped him.

Emily: You have to rip up your comparative world religions book.

BONUS EPISODE UNLOCKED

And what did we learn today? A 5 percent chance is small, but not insignificant.

OK, there’s one thing I want to address before I tap out for the night (and it’s not spell checking. I’ll do that in the morning).

I saw some people discussing the possibility that they faked the ending. Like, they just edited it like that to give them another chance because they were all about to die. Beyond the fact that I just trust them to not have done that, the other big reason I don’t think that’s likely is because there was a much more seamless way of stacking the deck in their favor. Brennan could have had Adaine pull literally anything out of her jacket. And I truly mean anything because this is a finale. Even if he gave her something game breaking, it wouldn’t have set a precedent because it’s the last ep. And that’s beyond all the NPCs that could plausibly have come in because they know something is up and teleportation is a thing in this world. Nah, I think that was just good, old fashioned, luck of the roll and thank Helio because they needed it.

OK, that’s it for now! Join me at some point between now and next ep to unpack this because it’s a lot and apparently we have another episode to get through. Hoot growl baby!

#fantasy high #asks #a-salty-alto #spoilers

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