#listen yall i know exactly what hes doing yet i blink and i'm back at the checkpoint | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wornoutmouse · 4 years

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Day 13: Voyeurism

Notes:

Bruh I freaking love this. Also, I decided that with the kinks that I don't exactly know how to write, I'd just replace it with something else i can right. (As I'm writing this I looked at my kink list and voyeurism is day 26, on my momma I can never catch a break" also since I'm so far behind yall gon keep getting these probably well into November)

You had been dating Kai for about a year now but you had yet to do anything physical. Ever since the beginning, you knew that he wasn't big on touch to start with. In fact, it took till the second month of the relationship for him to even hold hands with you and three more months after for him to even kiss you on the cheek. Your friends would love to joke that you were in a long-distance relationship with Kai much to your annoyance. Even so, you loved him and would never dream of pushing him beyond his comfort level and he thanked you for that internally.

"Kai, I brought you your lunch!" you say pushing the door to his office open. Kai paid you no mind as you he trailed his gloved hand over his keyboard typing an email to an investor. You intricately placed his salad in the middle of his plate, making sure that no green leaf crossed the swirling blue design the plate possessed. You place 10 small pieces of tomatoes in a star shape above the lettuce then sprinkled it all with shredded cheese and pepper before sitting down a champagne glass of Vanilla Shasta. The last part you personally thought was doing too much but your boyfriend became a bit of a brat when things weren't exactly how he liked it.

You jump slightly as you feel a hand graze lightly across your rear end. You smiled recognizing the gesture as you felt the slight heat from his fingers dancing over your lower back. You go to leave the door whisper small encouragement to him as you see him pick up his food.

As for the work you had to do today, there were none since you were finished. You had the rest of the day to yourself to relax because you knew Kai would not be leaving his office till 2:30 pm and it was only 9. Gaining a mischievous smirk, you tiptoe to your shared bedroom and hop under the covers grabbing your phone and putting your headphones in. Since Kai has yet to be comfortable touching you, you have had to help yourself in regards to physical pleasure.

You trail your hands down delicately tracing your skin with your fingertips trying to get yourself worked up. The sound of your personal video flooded your senses as you listen to the asmrist instructing you on how to touch yourself. "I want you to take your hands and massage your breasts." you follow the instructions unhooking your bra from their confinement and sighing as all the tension falls away from you. You circle the outer parts of your areolas following the bumpy trail that covered them. "Pinch your nipples, my dear."

Due to the cold air in the room, your nips had long since hardened from the change in temperature so it took only a little prodding to get them standing at attention. You lick the tip of your finger and circle your hard bud between itself. You softly whimper as you feel yourself slowly becoming aroused. You imagine the voice becoming deeper, similar to that of Kai's as it tells you what to do. "Take off your panties." You peer through your closed lids and pull down your underwear, shivering as you felt your wetness sticking from your folds to your underwear. "Don't touch yourself yet baby instead I want you to trace your inner thighs, so close, yet so far." You internally cringe at the pet name because you knew Kai would never call you that.

Your legs tremble as you got closer to your entrance but were forced to retreat from the place you wanted to be caressed. At this point, you had become uncouth with the sheets around you tossed off of your body exposing your lower half to the open-air making you shiver as the AC comes on. You turn your head to the side, eyes closed, "I want you to trace your folds but go no deeper." You whimper as you lightly graze your entrance not going any further.

You worry your plump lip in between your teeth as you use all your self-control to not go on ahead and delve inside yourself. You groan as you feel your earbud slip out of your ear. You reach your hand back to grab it but feel your hand touch something leather-like. You open your eyes lips pursed before sitting up sharply as you make eye contact with Kai.

"I...I." you stutter out unable to explain yourself as you feel your face get warm with embarrassment. Kai doesn't break eye contact with you as he holds your earbud a small distance from his ear, close enough to ear the vulgar words the asmrsit is speaking but far enough that it isn't touching his ear. You bring the blanket up to cover yourself but it's promptly snatched from your hand by Kai. You bring your legs up to yourself thoroughly embarrassed at being caught. Kai, still holding the earbud walks out of the room before walking back in with a chair that he positions in front of the bed.

Kai sits down tossing the earpiece on the bed sitting back and crossing his legs, gaze piercing through you. "Show me." You jerk your head up at the order, "H-Huh?" Kai leans forward propping his elbows on his knees. "Show me, what you were doing." You blinked a few times and you could feel yourself blush, honestly glad that he wouldn't be able to see it. You exhale shakily trying to calm yourself. 'He's not mad, but He's not happy." You jump as you feel a ruler tap your legs open and you gaze up as at Kai as he slides a gloved hand over your knee prying them open. "Touch yourself."

Seeing no other option you trail your hands down your body shakily and grimace as you feel yourself wetter than before. You trail your fingers through your wetness and moan slightly. The grip on your knees tightens as Kai's gaze bores into where your hands played with yourself. Kai's hands glide down your legs as he squats in front of you only inches from your entrance. His predatory gaze flickers to your's and you couldn't help but hold eye contact feeling as if it was against the rules for you to look away.

Kai takes hold of your wrists and angles your fingers above your entrance making you sink the tip of your index finger inside of yourself. "Crap." you curse out at the teasing sensation your finger caused. "Watch your language." Kai grunts still maintaining focus on how your finger dipped in and out of your wet entrance. You couldn't see over the bed, but you could tell he was affected by the hint of sweat collecting on his forehead. Taking his hand, Kai pulls down his mask exposing the rest of his face before taking a gloved hand in between his teeth pulling it off.

You jump as you feel a larger finger push itself inside unforgivingly joining yours. "Your absolutely filthy." Kai growls out scoffing as he feels you tighten around his finger at the remark. You slowly finger yourself slightly annoyed at the stationary position Kai kept his finger you jerk your hips slightly trying to encourage him to move. Kai narrowed his eyebrows, a thin tongue swiping over his lips. You whine happily as he begins to move it, though rough in speed, pleasurable in direction. "You were being an absolute tramp on my bed, dirtying it with your lustful thought." Kai moved his finger at a rougher pace as he stands up propping himself above you with one hand. "Yet you had the audacity to pleasure yourself with another man's voice." You could feel yourself getting close to your release as you unconsciously grip onto Kai's forearm, "Release me!" you drop your hands down and throw your head back as you shake uncontrollably eyes screwed shut as you focused on your pleasure.

Kai slowed down his pace the slightest bit as he prods your cervix with his finger circling it carefully before pushing at it as if trying to breach it. "Kai that kinda hur-ts." you stutter outreaching to touch him but stopping yourself from doing so. Kai proceeds to resume his brutal pace on your walls and you couldn't help but arch your back violently as you feel wave after wave of pleasure crawling through you.

With a loud wail, you cum and to your horror, you feel a large amount of liquid exit your body and sprayed over Kai's arm and his leg that he had propped on the bed below you. Kai continues ignoring his discomfort, fingering you through your orgasm. When you're finished, he pulls away and you can finally see the amount of damage you did. His pants are obviously stained dark from your release. "I had heard about women releasing copious amounts of liquid from their sexual organs. I at first only thought it was urine but based on smell and consistency I now see that this is not so." Kai studies his hand that is drenched in your fluids ranging from clear to white.

He takes a few steps back sitting on the chair behind him before unbuckling his belt and pulling himself out. You gasp as you gaze at his dick for this is the first time you've ever seen it. It was heavily covered in pulsating veins and the tip was an angry red from being left unattended for so long. Taking the hand covered in your release, Kai uses it to stroke his member growling as he finally gets the stimulation he needed. You watched hungrily and somewhat proud that you were the one that caused your calm and collected boyfriend to overcome his obsession with cleanliness.

"Are you proud of yourself?" Kai grunts as he polishes the head of his cock with the palm of his hand. His arms flexed and his feet raised up onto his toes as he breaths heavier coming closer to his own orgasm. "Bringing me down to your level like this." Kai throws his head back thrusting his cock into his hand which force that you craved would go into you.

You walk up to Kai and hungrily gaze at his long cock as your combined fluids pooled along with the opening of his pants that at this point were hopelessly ruined. "Can I.." you started swallowing shallowly as Kai teased the tip of his cock with his thumb. "Can I please have it Kai?" you beg sounding completely ruined. Kai smirked at you releasing his cock as you position yourself above it sliding down with a moan. Kai brings his hands, one gloved, one not, and holds your ass tightly as he uses his strength to bounce you on his cock. "Look at you, so pathetic, taking everything I give you." You nod your head babbling nonsense as his cock bumps your cervix the same way his finger had moments before.

Kai plants his feet flat on the ground as he meets you halfway thrusting into your body breaking your mind with how good it felt. You come once again, pulsating around his dick making Kai also reach his peak as he releases deep inside of you. You two rest your foreheads together as you come down from your high.

Kai promptly lifts you up and heads to your large bathroom that, to your surprise, was already filled with warm water. Your face heats up at the thought of a server sneaking past the two of you to fill up the tub. Afterward, there are small kisses and Kai's complaints about how messy you were as you washed each other's backs.

#kinktober #blackreader #black y/n #bnha headcanons #voyuerism #kai chisaki #overhaul #mha imagines #mha x black reader #mha smut #mha x poc

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xxisxxisxxis · 3 years

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

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"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing.

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath.

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue…

We've been trying to get him to wake up.

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown.

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off.

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back.

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter.

"Why?" I ask and she sighs.

"He told me he missed the flight."

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs.

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows.

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?"

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains.

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes.

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'"

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly.

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did."

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath.

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet.

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed.

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling.

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone.

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff.

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply.

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs.

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him.

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call."

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note."

"Where you going?" He asks.

"Out."

"With who?"

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months."

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night."

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?"

"I'll think about it, alright?"

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe."

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on.

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing.

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes.

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging.

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on.

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can.

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki.

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me.

He looks like absolute hell.

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words.

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous.

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell.

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail.

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him.

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not.

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close.

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath.

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space.

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling.

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way.

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds.

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse.

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with.

I knew how he'd react.

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!"

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki."

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off.

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me.

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole.

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible.

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago.

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other?

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls.

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring.

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home.

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress.

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment.

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit.

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me.

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us.

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles.

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose.

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding.

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her.

She's pretty hot.

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting.

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly.

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds.

"Shut up." She nudges him.

"You are." He chuckles.

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about.

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose.

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away.

"No, no, no." She shakes her head.

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips.

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress.

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat.

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him.

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile.

Great. Is she fucking him, too?

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other.

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me.

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me.

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head.

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us.

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing.

She probably snuck out of the window.

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me.

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things.

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait."

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths.

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it."

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily.

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here.

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent.

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet.

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw.

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me.

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms.

"Like what?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away.

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words.

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan.

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive.

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me.

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go.

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling.

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--"

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream.

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff.

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots.

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink.

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs.

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt.

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror.

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her.

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye.

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand.

"See ya," he tells her.

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next.

"You, too." Sally replies.

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants.

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart.

"You feel that?" He asks her.

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments.

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head.

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand.

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her.

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing.

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs.

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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iamdorka · 4 years

Text

The making of the new album

I wanted to post this hours ago but the wifi at the train station decided to be a bitch so I try to post it now. If it gets posted two times please love this one more, okay? 🙈

So as the release of his new album is closer and closer I decided to write something about it. Hope you will like it.

The making of the new album (headcanon)

- He was really excited about this one, because after opening about the demons in his head in Hotel Diablo on this one he really could show his true passion, every piece of it, without any restriction. He just kept pushing himself towards his truest self and you had to admire that, because his work was his life. Also he worked with some of the finest artist (including literally your heroes from your childhood and that got you even more excited if it was even possible).

- He loved when you were around in the studio even if you had nothing to do with music, your presence calmed him down even in his darkest moments. He needed that firm point in his life, he needed you.

- And you loved being there with him because even if listening to music, pretending you are sometimes Beyonce or other time the fearless frontgirl of a rockband like Hayley Williams was your only way engaging with music, seeing him creating his vision with his mates gave you a whole new understanding of literally everything. He was able to show you new things even after 2 years being in a relationship with him and you loved him for it, lived for it.

- You saw him at his lowest but also the highest point while creating this masterpiece and you were with him all along. You supported him and it meant the world to him, you knew it. He showed you that with words, with cute little actions.

- Yeah, you have to admit that sometimes it was a bit too much and it was hard for you to accept everything not that you should’ve accept everything. Even if you knew that he was working on a precious piece of his soul you weren’t blind. You saw that he was suffering inside. He needed to do this but the ache in your heart still was there it was really frightening sometimes.

- This creative process was a roller coaster for everybody. For him and for you too.

- He was overworking himself and sometimes he didn’t even notice it, which hurt you even more because half of your soul was him and seeing him like that was terrible. After creating and living in Hotel Diablo you knew it would come to this but really living it was different.

- You spent a lot of time alone too because he was on his feet 24/7 and slowing down never was an option for him. Yeah you knew that he was in love with music (beside you) but it still hurt like hell when you just couldn’t find him next to you when you needed him, when you were expecting him to be there.

- Even if you were with him in the last 2 years you still couldn't humanly imagine how he could manage being up and awake ALL THE TIME. Oh yeah... you knew how he could do that but you preferred not to think about it. He knew that his health wasn't at its peak and that you were mad at him because of it. He didn't accept worries from nobody... but you were different. Cliche or not.

- Sometimes but nowadays most of the time you just wanted to slap his beautiful face to beat some sense into him even if you knew it was a mission impossible. But not just he was who needed his other half... you needed him too and didn't want to lose him, not in a million years.

- The day when he finally showed the finished album to his label he wanted you to be there with him but your boss thought otherwise because he sent you to San Francisco the day before for a 2 day job. Your heart ache because you really wanted to be there with him and even if he didn't admit it he was a little but disappointed too.

- So you did everything humanly possible to get the work done in the shortest imaginable time, that's how you ended up on a train at 4am without getting any sleep just to get back in time to Los Angeles to be with him. He didn't know anything about it.

- You didn't even get home, you just cought an uber and with your suitcase and everything you were headed to Interscope.

- The only person who knew about your surprise appearance was Slim and he knew if he told anything to Colson you would gladly kill him with your bare hands without even thinking or blinking.

- You never got out of a car this fast because you got there exactly 5 minutes before them. (It was 10am and having Colson up at this time was a miracle to begin with but you did your own miracle too to be there on time.)

- 'I thought I will have to show them myself the album. You are late' when he entered the floor where the conference room was, you waited him there casually sitting on the couch not showing that it was hard even to breathe for you because you had to be that fast and you just fell to the couch a minute before. You tried to play it cool so you did.

- Not even saying a word as you stood up he brought you in his arms and hugged you like he hadn't seen you in ages. He had his girl with him.

- 'Am I dreaming?' he kissed your cheek as he let himself see your smiling face. For a brief moment he forgot why he was in that building.

- 'I know I'm your dream girl... but no, you are not.' you answered him smiling, biting your lip as you laced your fingers together not engaging in any pda because first: you two hated that, second: you had company and he had work to do, important work. 'But maybe I'm... because I haven't slept in the last 48 hours and I'm running on like 4 coffees' you murmured and when Slim gave you your new coffee you corrected yourself taking a sip from it. 'five and counting... '

- 'Good luck. I'M PROUD OF YOU AND I LOVE YOU' you told this to his lips as you sat down on the couch and he took his seat at the end of the big conference table. Everyone was ready, more than ready.

- He was living his best life and your heart was full of love watching him because he was enjoying every moment of this. He could not stop moving, you could see that he was already feeling himself at the live shows and he proved that too because he even got on the table dancing, rocking his soul to his new goodies.

- It really got your heart beat faster and even if you realised that some of the people didn't really appreciate your boyfriend that much, you couldn't care less because you could see how proud he was of his work. Sweat and blood. It was his, the best one yet.

- You even recorded him dancing on the table because it was the funniest shit ever and you knew his fans would appreciate it later. And you loved feeding them with quality content.

- When the presentation was over he could not hold himself back because when you stood up, wanting to congratulate him again (after all the other people) he picked you up and he was spinning with you not letting you to touch the ground. He was in an euphoric state and he didn't hide him.

- 'You are my world. Thanks for being here' he murmured to your neck and finally he put you down.

- 'I really am proud of you' you repeated yourself and you were glad Slim got closer to you as the people in the room started chatting about everything what was coming.

- 'You got it?' you asked him and he nodded without a word.

- 'Got what?' Colson asked cluelessly looking at you both.

- 'Nothing.' you replied as you asked him for his phone. 'But you just held yours a minute ago' he stated the truth. 'But I want... yours.' You asked politely again and he did finally what you asked him and without even thinking you gave immediately Slim the phone.

- 'Okay... I don't understand you. What are you up to?' he asked smirking at you.

- 'You... and me are up to catching a flight. You can't say no because I will handcuff you to me if you start to rebel. We are going on a little vacation right now.'

- 'You need this bro' Slim stated too watching as you didn't let Colson's hand from yours. 'I already fought with her because of this... and I didn't even have the slightest chance either... nor have you, so... just accept it'

- 'You really have a handcuff with you?' he asked the right question.

- 'Just bought a new pair in San Francisco, to make sure everything would be fine' he threatened him but you were sure that he would even enjoy if you used it right there and then.

- 'Ohh... it will be more than fine' he looked at you with the hungriest smirk on his lips.

- 'Please... get a room or whatever, but catch your flight because I think I'm gonna throw up in my mouth if I have to be with you two two more seconds' Slim said and you already were stealing the star of the moment leaving the place as fast as you arrived there.

- Maybe he had other plans, maybe the others did too but with the help of your very good friends you made sure everything would be okay. They agreed that he deserved this getaway before everything was coming and A LOT was coming. He needed that recharge and so did you.

- You managed to rent a beach house probably in the middle of nowhere and that place was exactly what you two needed. No internet, no people just the two of you and the calming sound of the ocean.

- Yeah, both of you were and still are the people who can't really sit in a place for more than a minute, because you had to do something but once in a while it was good just to... be. Because you just bought 'tickets to my downfall' and before all the craziness you had to remind him that he is a human being and if he loses his power he could not spread the energy to anybody else... not even himself.

Tag list (write me if you wanna be on it❤)

@no-shxt-sherl @kiss-yall @bakerkells @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @mgk-rooklover1997 @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @southernmgkpunk @thegunnerkelly @findingmyth @painkillerash @rosesinmars @rosegoldrichie @pinksocktingz @itjustkindahappenedreally @cclynn88 @bluehairedtracii

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