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jockpoetry · 3 years

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supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).”

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me.

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing.

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not.

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong.

It’s Instantly Feminine.

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only.

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways.

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally.

Or they do it as a joke.

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character.

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode.

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again.

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine.

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole).

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them.

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it.

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card.

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered.

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters.

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr.

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above).

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and Again and Again and Again).

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number.

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously.

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell.

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to.

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance.

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is.

In conclusion....

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn meta #spn #gender #anon #replies #messages #my writing #ANYWAYS PHEW okay anon i don't know if i even fully got to your point but i woke up at like 3:30 to this ask and i've been fixated on it #HOPE THIS IS EVEN JUST a little bit coherent #the way i meant for this to talk so much more about transness and eldest daughter syndrome and just FORGOT #oops #oh well

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thenightling · 5 years

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LGBT+ Neil Gaiman characters

All right. Let’s begin. This is a long list so I’m bound to accidentally leave a few out. Feel free to correct me if you think of one or two I may have forgotten to list.

April Spink and Miriam Forcible from Coraline (couple.)

Angela (Lesbian).

The character Neil Gaiman created for Spawn is Angela. Angela is now owned by Marvel. Angela is a lesbian in a loving relationship with a transwoman named Sera.

Salim and The Jinn from American Gods (Couple).

This relationship got nominated for a GLAAD award.

Sam Black Crow in American Gods (Bisexual)

Snow White (Lesbian) Snow White (Yes, the fairy tale character) is the lesbian protagonist of The Sleeper and the Spindle, which is a sort of crossover fanfiction of Snow White and Sleeping Beauty that Neil Gaiman wrote as a short story.

Captain Shakespeare in the film adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Stardust (Gender nonconforming.)

His sexual preference is ambiguous but he loves feminine, soft, and pink things including womens clothing, hairdressing, and theatre. He also leads a band of cutthroat pirates who follow him loyally so there is that.

Loki (Loki)

There’s Loki in Neil’s book on Norse Mythology. Loki also appears in American Gods and The Sandman.

There’s also quite a few LGBT+ characters in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman, which include (but are not necessarily limited to):

Paul and Alexander Burgess (male couple).

It should be noted that Alexander and Paul were clearly in an open relationship (Polyamorous?) in the 1960s (With Alexander Burgess likely being panasexual) and they are now exclusive to each other by the end of Sandman: The Wake.

Judy (lesbian).

Judy was, unfortunately, phyiscally violent with Donna and it cost her the relationship. Judy died along with several other character at a diner when John Dee (Doctor Destiny) got a hold of Morpheus’ dream stone.

Donna AKA Foxglove (lesbian).

Donna is Judy’s ex-girlfriend but she ultimately found happiness with Hazel.

Hazel (lesbian).

Hazel had a one night stand with a man that resulted in pregnancy. She did not really enjoy it and now she and Donna (Foxglove) raise the baby together after having overcome many relationship issues. The baby was named after Wanda (the transwoman character). Since the baby was a boy they named him with Wanda’s deadname to remember her (Personally I think Wanda should have just been his middle name. Wanda hated the name Alvin). It should be noted that Donna and Hazel’s love story (which starts in Sandman: A Game of you) got a spin-off comic called Death: The Time of your Life and that comic won a GLAAD award for representation in the mid-90s.

Cluracan (Bisexual. Possibly panasexual by modern standards.),

Wanda (Transwoman).

Desire (Genderfluid and panasexual). Desire is the living embodiment of desires, good and bad desires. One moment they might want your death, the next they’re helping save the universe. Desire can be male, female, both, or neither at will.

The Corinthian (gay),

John Constantine (Bisexual.) Though not originally created by Neil Gaiman he was written by Neil Gaiman in a few stories. Including his appearance in Sandman.

Lucifer Morningstar. (Complicated.) Lucifer Morningstar (like all of Neil Gaiman’s angels) is depicted as having no true biological gender in both The Sandman comics and in Lucifer’s own solo comics. Lucifer presents as male and uses male pronouns. He self-identifies as male but many other angels don’t really consider themselves as male or female despite how they present themselves.

In the TV adaptation of Lucifer he is portrayed as having male and female lovers. It should also be noted that in the comics Lucifer was physically modeled after biseuxal rock star, David Bowie.

Mazikeen (Female identifying. Bisexual) Mazikeen is a female-identifying demon portrayed as bisexual in both the TV show Lucifer and in Lucifer’s spin-off comics. In Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman she was Lucifer’s lover.

Eve (Bisexual)

Eve appeared in Neil Gaiman’s Sandman and in Lucifer as well as American Gods. In the Lucifer TV series she is portrayed as bisexual.

Note: Eve can change her age and appearance at will. Sometimes she’s young, sometimes she’s old. Sometimes she’s middle aged. And though she’s often appeared as white (such as in Sandman), she is black in the newer Sandman Universe comics, and in Good Omens.

Various angels. (Diverse)

This one is a little complex. Many of Neil Gaiman depictions of Angels do not actually identify as male or female though many of them present as male.

Anatomically they are without gender unless they will it to be otherwise. Many of them have taken male and female Earthly lovers. You can see Lucifer depicted without physical gender in Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, and other angels depicted similarly in the Lucifer solo comics that spin-off from Sandman.

Pollution from Good Omens (Non-Binary)

Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens (Couple. Demi panromantic celestial?)

Neil Gaiman does not personally view Aziraphale and Crowley in Good Omens as gay because they only present as male but aren’t truly male or female by nature. He has also said he does not view a male and female presenting angel couple as straight either for the same reason. He has said “I never said they are not queer.” just that he wouldn’t use the word gay for them.

I know that’s not all of them but there you go. A list of LGBT+ characters created by Neil Gaiman.

And before I get a stupid hate-DM about how Wanda is “transmisogynist” because you read a Mary Sue article by someone who doesn’t understand context, understand this. There was no Trans representation when Wanda was created. She can’t follow a stereotype. The stereotype didn’t exist yet. She had not medically transitioned and ask yourself if you find her problematic just because she isn’t the conventional idea of feminine in her bone structure and height (Something even cis women have to struggle with). Yes, Wanda died but it was to show the cishet readers of 1992 that her soul was always that of a woman. There are still people today (even some Trans people) who don’t think you really count unless you fully medically transition. Wanda was scared of surgery but that shouldn’t matter. She was always a woman and that was the point Neil was trying to make.

Yes, Wanda’s family was transphobic. They were supposed to be seen as transphobic. Also Thessaly AKA Larissa and George are NOT supposed to be seen as good people. They are supposed to be seen as Transphobic. Thessaly is a pretty horrible person in The Sandman comics. She’s selfish and kind of homicidal. She represents the cold, self-absorbed immortal Morpheus used to be like. And before you try to argue “Just because Transphobia is real doesn’t mean Neil has to depict it!” (and yes, I’ve been given that argument while defending Neil Gaiman) ... Before you argue that, I want you to know something.

A Transman friend of mine was deeply moved by Wanda’s story because he went through similar. His parents still deadname him and misgender him on birthday and holiday cards and gifts. They never disowned him but they want to pressure him to “realize” he’s a woman. When he saw that Wanda went through similar, especially at her own funeral, he no longer felt so alone. Wanda may well have saved his life. So yes, I will defend that “problematic” character who died nobility and who was used in the early 90s to teach cishet readers that Transwoman (medically transitioned or not) are still women. Also, Neil is NOT accountable for how the story was drawn. He’s not the illustrator. So stop using the artwork to claim he’s homophobic. A comic book writer essentially writes a script and then it is up to the illustrator to draw it as best they can. By the way, the illustrator of Sandman: A Game of You (Where Wanda came from) was Colleen Doran, who was nominated for a Gaytastic Spectrum award in 2001.

Stop looking for reasons to hate one of the only men who has been trying to give the LGBT+ community representation since the 1980s.

#Neil Gaiman #LGBT+ characters #Gay characters #Gay representation #The Sandman #Lucifer Morningstar #Good Omens #American Gods

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supernatural-rewatch-3 · 4 years

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Raising Hell

So episode two. Sam is trying to keep everyone under control and run an operation out of the high school with hunters patrolling the barrier. Cas is trying his best to help him and keep the people calm and in the school. Dean and Belphegor are out with the patrol teams, working to keep the ghosts from poking at the barrier too much. However just like people currently in the world, not everyone can acknowledge a quarantine (gotta admit it’s driving me crazy because I’ve never stayed in one building this long in my life!) and are getting killed for it.

Rowena and Arthur both arrive and well, I’m with Dean on this one. Rowena has had a few romances or attempts at them through the series. Her sort of relationship with God/Chuck, with Gabriel (my favorite with her to be honest), and now an interest in Arthur. And Arthur we have only seen with Mary (which I did NOT like). I’m not really liking them as a pair and I think Dean likes them about as much as he liked the thought of Garth and Becky. Supernatural doens’t have a whole lot of shown pairings, but it had alluded to quite a few interesting ones like Crowley and Naomi, Crowley and Billie, Becky and Chuck, all the above ones, Bobby and Elanor. Cas and Daphine, Cas and the Djinn Queen, and so on. Anyway, I also find it amusing when Rowena asked Dean about Arthur and Dean tells her to find someone else as she doen’t want to be with Ketch (probably vividly remembering what happened to his mom). It’s kind of cute he’s trying to look out for her.

Anyway, to the actual story. They want to build another crystal like the soul bomb and we also learn Belphegor isn’t exactly the little nobody he presented himself as, seeing as how another demon hired someone like Arthur Ketch to kill him.

Dean talks to Cas and we see what will be the set up for Dean’s behavior and attitude for the entire first half of season 15. For Dean, free will is everything. Dean is the poster boy for Free Will, for doing things his own way. Cas and Sam had believed in destiny in the beginning, but that was something Dean had always rejected. Dean didn’t beleive in God, in fate, he believed in always making his own choices. So for him to learn their whole lives were fabricated by Chuck is soul crushing. Dean has no idea what is real and what isn’t. Everything from ‘Do I actually like that music or did Chuck just decide I like that music and therefore I must’ all the way to ‘Did I decide to trade my life for my brother’s or did Chuck think it would be good for his story’ is running through his head right now. He has no idea what he actually wants and likes and what was determined by Chuck. We also see where Cas is coming from. Cas is furious, just as much as Dean. His son was just killed by his father right in front of him. Cas had come to terms with the fact Chuck didn’t care about him long ago, but the death of his son is not something he can deal with. And Dean is so angry right now, in so much pain that all he’s doing is lashing out at everything around him.

Dean and Arthur then go on patrol and Arthur asks Dean about Rowena, annoying him, only for them to learn some hunters failed to check in. They go to the last location to be attacked by a ghost and saved by none other than Kevin Tran. I love his and Arthur’s introductions. ‘Kevin Tran, former Prophet’ ‘Arthur Ketch, Former Assassin....mostly’. We learn that God send Kevin to Hell instead of Heaven, probably punishment for letting out Amara, and because God himself sent him down there, Kevin had a reputation of a badass....meaning Crowley knew where Kevin was and didn’t say a word....then again that might have been more of a kindness than malice. Also Crowley was mostly trying not to be killed and they were dealing with the annoying Men of Letters then Lucifer’s love child so I guess that was kind of his priority.

Anyway Kevin, like Bobby and all the rest is back on earth for 2.5 seconds before ready to jump right back into it. He tries to find out the ghosts plans but they already know he is working with Sam an Dean. Meanwhile Rowena and Arthur finish what Dean has named the Soul Catcher and they go to meet up with Sam, Dean, and Cas to give it to them. They manage to rescue Kevin and capture a number of ghosts but Francis, Jack the Ripper, escapes. They attack the barrier and he possesses Arthur but Dean shoots him and Rowena traps them.

In the end Arthur has to go to the hospital because Cas can’t heal him. He says goodbye to Dean and Rowena, who he was getting steamy with, and then Kevin decides to go off in the wide world on his own. After all he went from season 9 to 11 being an earth bound spirit, he has the control for it so he should be fine. He gets a proper send off because as we learn, souls that went to Hell cannot go to Heaven unless Chuck makes an exception like he did for John, Bobby, Sam, and Dean. I would say something about that, but Joshua kinda alluded to it in Dark side of the moon. I would ask if that means Sam can’t go to Heaven since Sam went to Hell AFTER that event but I guess it no longer matters since they are bound for the Empty upon death. And we see the warding isn’t going to last much longer as more and more souls escape Hell.

While all this goes on, Chuck goes to Amara for help but Amara decides to leave him there. She knows what kind of person he is an she isn’t going to help in whatever this is. He got himself into this mess and he’s going to get himself out of it. I love her!

I actually like leader Sam a lot in this episode. I like how we allude to Sam an Cas’ roles from being army leaders by them being in the headquarters for the majority of the episode and Dean’s more ‘soldier’ role by him spending more time in the field. We saw him on patrol like three times.

#supernatural #raising hell #spn 15x02 #amara #chuck shurley #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #arthur ketch #Belphegor #Rowena MacLeod #kevin tran

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hamilton-one-shots · 5 years

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Hamilton Omegaverse 3

His entire weekend was spent the same way and he was put into a cycle of work and Netflix all week, only watching Netflix at home, of course. He was more productive than before and decided to keep that system. It wasn't like he did much outside of work, anyways. And he kept reading the paper, mainly when his works were printed. Most of what he wrote was printed, but... there were a few articles with the same topic as his own written by someone else. Charles Lee? Who was that? John sighed and shrugged it off each time. It was probably some older journalist.

The rest of the month came and went faster than John realized and it wasn't long before some guy came over and knocked on his door.

"Hey, omega, the boss wants to see you and me right now."

"I have a name and it's not omega."

"You're the only one of them here. It's easier to remember that than a name I might not have to hear again soon," he remarked with a cocky smirk.

John furrowed his eyebrows. What did he mean he might not have to hear it again? He got up and followed him to Washington's office.

"We're here, sir."

"Excellent. Shut the door behind you and come over, take a seat."

"With pleasure, sir." The kiss ass alpha did just that and bumped John's shoulder as he passed him, sitting in front of Washington's desk.

John stayed quiet about it and sat down beside him.

"Thank you gentlemen for coming. I'm sure you're unaware of this, Lee, but John was given articles to write as a trial run for a position as a journalist, which is why his were published instead of yours. I'm happy with his results and-"

"And you want me to mentor him! How great. I'll have lots of fun making a new, omega friend."

John cringed. Why did he keep saying that word? It wasn't like his dynamic mattered that much. He knew he was so much more than an omega, not that he was ashamed of his dynamic.

"No. Quite the contrary, actually. Lee, your writing is stale and your perspective is different than anyone else here. You do nothing more than just blend in and go against anything that means the slightest conflict, even fighting the notion of bathrooms separated by dynamic, along with gender, despite someone you know being a victim of assault in a men's bathroom."

John frowned. He'd actually been assaulted and harassed multiple times when going into the men's bathroom, either because he 'just wasn't man enough' or 'an omega is no man' and to hear that someone didn't want to protect male and female omegas, who were just as easily harassed by female alphas, just because they didn't want the conflict made his blood boil.

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that John Laurens is going to be your replacement. I've been trying to find one for a while, actually."

"You're joking. I've worked here for years and you want to get rid of me for some trashy little omega?" He jumped to his feet, enraged.

"It's only been two years and do not refer to any of my employees in that matter." Washington had made it clear to John that the only reason he was the only omega there was because no others ever applied.

"This is bullshit!"

He called security into the room and they, quite literally, dragged Lee out of the office and out of the building, guarding every entrance to keep him from coming back in. One officer even took out his things for him, at Washington's request.

"I'm honored that you think so highly of me, sir.."

"Don't let this get to your head, now. You're not without faults yourself, but those can be fixed with experience. A pay raise will be going into effect for you this month, since you will be handling the roles of both a cartoonist and a journalist."

"I won't let you down! I promise!"

Washington nodded, smiling a bit at John's enthusiasm. "I wouldn't expect anything less. You're dismissed."

John cheered himself all the way back to his office, where Alexander was waiting in his chair.

"Are you alright? We heard screaming and saw Lee get dragged out."

"I'm more than alright! I got that jerk's job! I'm now a proud journalist and a cartoonist!"

Alexander smiled. "That's great! You should totally come out with me and my friends for drinks to celebrate."

"I would be fine with that.. But I don't drink, again. I'm only 19."

"Not according to your computer. I didn't mean to peep or anything, it just popped up on the screen while I was sitting here, birthday boy."

John smiled. He didn't like making a big deal out of his birthday, but he would respect anyone else who did. "Alright, it's my birthday. But I still can't get into any bars."

Alexander nodded and thought for a second. "We'll make a bar. We can hang out at someone else's apartment."

"I don't know.."

"Oh, come on. I'll keep an eye on you myself. No alphas will try to touch you. If they do, I will drive you home myself and never ask you to go out again."

"Well... Alright." Alexander seemed to trust his friends so much, John couldn't help but think it was fair enough to do the same.

"Yes! I'll get the word out and I'll keep it small!"

And when Alexander said small, he really meant small. Besides the two of them, there were only two others, two more alpha males.

"It's nice to officially meet you guys. I'm John, the cartoonist."

"I'm Hercules and this is Lafayette. We're both journalists in different departments."

John worked mainly with the political department in his writing, but he did get cartoon requests from basically all other departments. "It's nice to meet you two."

"Happy birthday, by the way. We would have brought something, but Alexander didn't tell us until we were on our way here," Lafayette commented.

"Oh, don't worry about that. You didn't have to get me anything. Alex just dragged me out here to have some fun." Only after John made him take him to his apartment and feed his pets, though.

"You deserve it. I haven't seen this guy take a break since he started working with us."

"Sounds a lot like you a few years ago," Hercules commented with a laugh. "Alexander would not leave his computer for anything and it was ridiculous. We had to practically pry him away sometimes."

"Wow, that's the same guy that always comes into my office while we're supposed to be working?"

Alexander shrugged. "What can I say? I learned to chill. And you should to. You're way ahead in life, compared to some people. Hell, even compared to a lot of alphas I know. I mean, just look at Lee!"

John nodded. "I see your point."

It wasn't long before the alcohol started getting to the alphas, John didn’t want to drink, as they sat in a circle and played truth or dare. They were allowed to refuse, mainly because all three were so curious about the life of an omega, but John didn't have to. He took every intrusive question like a champ.

"So, what's it like to not have to deal with stupid knots?" Lafayette asked.

John had been expecting the question, but he didn't have an answer for it. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Omega males don't have knots, right?"

"Right.. But I guess I wouldn't exactly be an omega male."

"What do you mean? Are you a beta or something?"

Alexander chuckled. "Oh, come on, Laf. He has the scent of an omega from a mile away."

John nodded. "Right. I am an omega, but I'm a trans guy. I wouldn't have a knot even if I was an alpha."

"Oh.. Sorry for bringing it up, then."

"It's fine. You didn't know. It's not like I make a big deal about it, either." He shrugged and took a sip of his soda. "I imagine it's a lot easier on omega males to not have a knot and to have a weak heat," he tutted. "I take suppressants, but it sucks that I have to go through that without them."

"Yeah, trust me, ruts are no fun."

"At least you can go to work on a rut. What are you going to do? Knot another alpha?" It was part of the reason that John had his own office, besides the previously mentioned workload. Alphas were still allowed to go to work during their ruts, usually carrying around toys to help them relieve themselves and nobody batted an eye. But the second an omega got in heat, they were locked up in their houses, especially females. Being fertile, they had worse heat than males and alphas usually couldn't resist the temptation. Typically, if an omega suddenly went into heat in public, they were surrounded by an omega pack and taken home, but there were less than rare occasions where an alpha took advantage of their state.

"It does suck that people just keep omegas locked up."

"Yeah, it is not pleasant." He rolled his eyes. He had toys to get him through his heats, but if he dared to go in public with one around him, he'd be socially crucified.

"What's it like to be knotted, then?"

"He's 19, Laf."

"Doesn't mean I can’t ask."

John chuckled. "I've never gotten a real knot, but even on a toy, it hurts unless I'm in heat or I prep myself or something, then it's great. I've got a question for you. How do alphas have gay sex?.. What happens to it?"

"Knots are weird. They know when there's no omega around and they just won't show up."

"That is weird. I guess it's like omegas and scents. When we're trying to pick up other omegas, we don't give off our scent nearly as strongly as around an alpha because it doesn't work on ourselves."

"Being a dynamic is weird," Alexander complained. "Why can't we all just be betas?"

John laughed and shrugged. "That'd be great. No more heat cycles, no more ruts for you guys."

Hercules nodded and looked over at his mate, who was suspiciously quiet and tense. "What's up baby?.."

"Um.."

Hercules realized what it was a minute or so later and became just as tense. "Oh.."

John furrowed his eyebrows and looked down, gasping and getting up when he saw the wet patch spreading in his pants. He wasn't quite in heat, but he wasn't used to being around alphas, to being so comfortable around them. Now that he was, he didn't even realize he was giving off very... friendly signals and was pushed into a pre heat. "I'm sorry... I'll go." He began to leave, but Alexander stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"No, don't do that. There's so many alphas in here.. I'll go with you, okay? I promise I won't hurt you or touch you."

John thought it over for a second before nodding. Alexander's defensive alpha scent would keep any others away.

The two went down to the lobby and waited for John's cab.

"I probably won't be in on Monday.."

"It's fine. I'll make sure Washington knows if you hadn't already."

"Thanks.."

The cab got there and John got in and went to his apartment, building a nest out of his pillows and blankets and laying in it, staying there for the rest of the night. He spent his weekend switching between dealing with his heat and writing his articles, Palomino and Turtle being his only company.

On Monday morning, Alexander went to Washington's office. "Good morning, sir. I was just wondering if you knew that John was going to be out today."

"I did, actually. He emailed me yesterday."

"Great. I didn't want him to get in any trouble or anything."

George shook his head. "No, he's not in any trouble. He's still getting his work done from home. Was that all?"

Alexander nodded. "Yep." He smiled and walked back to his area, pausing in the middle of the hallway as he passed an unfamiliarly familiar face. "Thomas Jefferson."

He stopped and looked at him. "Yes?"

"I have a few choice words for you."

He thought for a second. "Alexander Hamilton. I always imagined you'd be taller."

He clenched his fists and opened his mouth to yell, but stopped as he watched the other walk off. "Hey, I was going to talk to you!"

"I'm busy, but thanks. Go spam my blog with hate comments, if you want." He waved him off and kept walking until he reached George Washington's office. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"Come in."

He stepped into the office. "Hello, Mr Washington, I'm sorry to disturb you."

He smiled. "Thomas Jefferson. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I was thinking about writing a piece on how to move real high up real fast and I've been seeing a lot of that boy that interviewed me, John Laurens? I was wondering if I could borrow him from you."

"Unfortunately, Mr Laurens is out on a personal break. I'm not sure when he'll be back, it might be a week or so."

"Really? That is unfortunate.."

"I could give you his email, if you don't already have it. He's taking care of his work from home. He just can't be in the office."

Thomas nodded. "Alright. I should still have his email from when we discussed the interview. Thank you for speaking to me."

"Anytime."

He gave him one last quick smile before leaving, ignoring Alexander's glare and going out to his car, then going home. It was a shame that he couldn't see John Laurens then. He was smart and cute, not that his looks needed to influence his opinion of him much.

When he got home, he grabbed his laptop and began emailing his newest subject.

(Quick note: I know my rules of omegaverse are different from most others and it might be confusing to you guys, but its what makes sense to me.)

#hamilton #hamilton fanfic #alexander hamilton #john laurens #thomas jefferson #lafayette #hercules mulligan #charles lee #george washington #mullette #omegaverse #3 #chapter 3

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dimitrippy · 6 years

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Pride month may be over, but it is also important to retain some sense of it. So here are some book reviews. If you've read these books, you might not like what I have to say. If you haven't, you may find that you don't want to. Or maybe you're so intrigued by what I've said, you'll want to read them anyway. The books I've chosen to read and review are (in order): This Book is Gay by James Dawson (2014), Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (2003), and Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World by Sarah Prager (2017).

Note: I am an independent person with no affiliations and I am doing this for fun, I am by no means a professional book reviewer.

This Book is Gay by James Dawson

I'm gonna start right off the bat and say that this book is... out-dated. Published in 2014, this book is a crash course on all things gay... but that's it. Despite many a disclaimer within the book itself, I found the writing to focus almost exclusively on homosexuality, with very little focus on bisexuality or being transgender. 'Well' you may say 'the book is GAY.' And right, it is, but the author, James Dawson, touted it as a guide to all things LGBT, which it wasn't. I understand the lack of nonbinary genders being mentioned, as the term did not really become widespread until very recently, but many trans people will find themselves unhappy when their eyes flick to the words 'transsexual' and 'transvestite'. Not to mention, in a later chapter about sex (skipping this chapter is an option, Dawson makes that clear) diagrams that equate genitals to gender. Overall, incredibly cisnormative. I'm not going to lie, Tumblr may have made me overly bias to any sort of queer literature created by a cis, gay man, but a good LGBT book should really spread out the attention between all of the letters.

I also found the writing style to be, for lack of a better word, trite. And I guess another good word would be condescending. Don't believe me? Dawson refers to sex as 'sexyfuntimes' at least 3 times, if not more. I understand that this book was written to appeal to young adolescents who might be questioning their sexuality or gender, but the word sex was already being used. Why change it to sexyfuntimes? Anyone reading the book should KNOW what sexyfuntimes means. Once was funny, but to keep using it to refer to consensual bedroom business made me feel like the author didn't care about his target audience. Speaking somewhat from experience, an adult talking down to me always made me feel like shit. Teenagers aren't stupid. Us adults need to start acting like it. ( that's not to say that teens can't be stupid, but generally when consuming content that is meant for them, it can be alienating.)

Then the author wrote a chapter on religion that I felt was written from a Christian-centric point of view. The author himself said he had limited knowledge about certain religions but went ahead and wrote about them anyway, assuming knowledge. This is a book that contained interviews with other queer people, you couldn't have found queer people of faith to interview? That just seems lazy to me.

Another big BIG problem that I had with the book was the chapter called 'Gay Saints'... or something to that effect. I had to return the book and I'm writing a lot of this from memory, which is quite good but can't always remember everything...

Anyway, I'm sorry, but however they may have felt while functioning as a boy-band, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are NOT gay icons. They're nothing more than two young men that over-zealous straight girls wish would get together. Sure, they may support the queer community which is all well in good but to refer to 'Larry Stylison' as a gay icon just... left a bad taste in my mouth. Also, Dawson referred to Macklemore as handsome which is just... not correct.

Honestly it felt like a lot of these 'icons' were straight people. And of course gay people have been idolizing straight people for basically forever (look up Friends of Dorothy) but one moment of activism does not a gay icon make.

Not to mention that leaving out Billie Joe Armstrong out of a list like that is criminal, considering he's been an open bisexual and supporting LGBT punk bands since Green Day became popular.

… Also a crime to leave out Prince but there are some battles you can't win...

Still, it would be remiss of me to not mention that this book was meant to be read by EVERYONE, not just by LGBT kids. I definitely understand the need for a book like this, but the queer community has become so fast paced and new terminology is updated and accepted on a near- daily basis. And I, personally, would not recommend this book to my friends (unless my friends want to know the book i'm slamming – LOL ). Perhaps a companion book titled “This Book is Trans” or “This Book is Queer”? Or maybe keep the title and come out with a second, more inclusive edition.

I would, however, recommend it to young, questioning kids and their parents – should said parents be aware of their kid's situation. I also recommend it to straight people who have very little interaction with LGBT people but who want to understand us a little better. I know I said the writing was condescending at times, but it is a good resource for people who aren't gay or who aren't sure what they are yet, especially if they don't wanna dig through Google, trying to find non-homophobic sources.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Mediocre and non-inclusive

Score: 4/10

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

I'm not going to lie, if I had read this book in middle school or high school, I probably would have LOVED it. Pretentious teen romance was probably my favorite genre. (Something I don't talk about very much because everyone on Tumblr has a boner for hating the king of pretentious teen romance novels, John Green, and I rather like him.) Now, however, it is... to be honest it's uninteresting drivel.

The story focuses on local gay high schooler, Paul. Paul has ALWAYS known he was gay and everyone in his small, shockingly liberal town (shocking because it's so small) doesn't really care, except for the parents' of his friend, Tony, another gay high schooler. (only Tony's parents are homophobes and they have to lie about stuff just to get him out of the house)

We have other great characters! Such as Kyle, the bisexual who won't call himself bisexual because he doesn't like labels, also Paul's ex. Infinite Darlene, a trans girl who Paul does not call trans, only drag queen. She is homecoming queen and captain of the football team and also the other drag queens in school (???) don't like her because she's too masculine. Cis drag queens hating trans women, what else is new?

We also have Noah, the pretentious artist new kid and Paul's crush. And Joni, who was Paul's best friend but dumped him for her crappy boyfriend.

Right? The sheer amount of characters made my head spin too. And the drama with everyone was... too much. The only redeeming moment was when Tony finally stood up to his parents. Which he did so in, again, an unrealistic way.

And I'm not even going to mention the motorcycle cheerleaders.

So by the end of it, I was pretty disappointed.

Until I read the author's note. 10 years after it's original publication, David Levithan answers some questions about the book and gave a myriad of reasons as to why he wrote the book the way he did. He explained that he knew how unrealistic some parts of the story were, and that that's why they were there. Because as unrealistic as it was, it is something that he wants to one day be a reality. And that while we're far from that reality, it's something we should always, always be working towards.

There's something very brave about that. It's definitely true that there are far, far too many tragic stories featuring LGBTQA+ characters, but this is nothing short of a very happy story published in a time when stories like that simply didn't exist. A jaded queer person (such as myself) might brush off the pie in the sky life that Paul leads, but ultimately there really is nothing wrong with writing happy endings for people like you.

Should you choose to read this book, I recommend the new edition that comes with the author's note. It puts the entire novel in a much better perspective. It also has a short story featuring Infinite Darlene.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Pretentious but well meaning

Score: 6/10 (points taken away were re-added after reading the author's not

Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World by Sarah Prager

As an avid history nerd who doesn't read nearly as much historic shit as they should, I loved this book. Clear, concise, and with a detailed bibliography in the back, Queer, There, and Everywhere gives us undeniable proof that people like us – queer people – have always existed.

Starting in ancient Rome, through the civil rights movement and up the the present, Prager makes the context easy to understand by using modern language and beginning each chapter with a brief flashback to each figure's time. While many scholars look at things from a cishet lens and use the language to match, Prager does pretty much the opposite, making a disclaimer at the beginning of each chapter any time modern terminology or certain pronouns usage needs to be used for clarity.

This book doesn't just cover cis, gay people over the course of history, it has something for everyone across the spectrum of gender and sexuality – trans and nonbinary people, lesbian pioneers (no, not 1800s pioneers),George Takei, and much, much more.

While queer history can be a touchy subject, Queer, There, and Everywhere: 23 People Who Changed the World makes it so that our history can not, should not, and will not be erased.

My overall opinion in a nutshell: Fantastic and a necessary must for any person who needs a brief course in queer history.

Score: 8/10 (some of the historic figures she picked struck me as far-fetched, plus use of the outdated terms transsexual and transvestite)

#books #literature #reading #lgbtqa+#lgbt books #queer literature #queer books #lgbt literature #book reviews #james dawson #david levithan #sarah prager #long post

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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Hey Liz, question: why do you think this fandom got so protective of terrible women? Both Mary and Rowena are awful, selfish people with exactly 0 character development, and yet they somehow became precious protect at all cost? Are we so starved of representation? I don't get it. For me it's Jody and Donna all the way.

Heya. Well first of all “the fandom” seems to haaate Mary so you must be thinking of the weird narrow circle of people who actually enjoy her character like me and all the peeps I filtered out in season 12 who weren’t being awful about her to follow and support. >.> Aka “the fandom” if I had to generalise my impression of raw numbers, IS the reason why the people who like Mary are protective of her. Because there’s stuff like spnconfessions posting someone saying “I want Mary and Kelly to be stabbed hundreds of times at the end of the season” which… yiiiikes.

Rowena is more popular in my impression but then she has a charismatic actress who embedded herself in fandom immediately (she liked some of my Rowena meta and spec back in season 10!), and was always presented as a “villain” (although she has NEVER been a big bad of a season, always just along for the ride and almost ALWAYS in chains or captured) so at least it was not like she was living down anyone’s expectations except Crowley.

ALSO it’s not a competition or an either or. I love Jody, and Donna, and Linda Tran, and Mary, and Rowena and Kelly Kline, and all the other characters who’ve passed over our screen. People probably get bored of me saying this but I *like* the show and its characters and its storylines until they give me strong reasons not to like them, and I don’t approach fictional characters with hostility or unless there’s a very strong personal aversion, a reaction as if I knew them in real life or they represent things FROM my real life.

Even when they are written to be dark or messed up or bad people, if they’re fleshed out and there’s a good reason or a point to it all in the story, then I like it. I don’t need characters to be good and pure all the time for them to be worth my love, or why the heck would I like the Winchesters, right?

I’m just trying to say, I think I have a different attitude to these characters than you do, because I see that the show has done some great things with them, including developing them a LOT, and they’re really interesting characters to me.

I now have 3 fics on my Ao3 which have or are entirely from Mary’s POV because I find her a fascinating mess. I feel like I grew up knowing the mythology about her and only got to meet her as a real human last year, and I loved that she was human and real, as promised in the flashbacks but never given a chance for us to SEE.

And Rowena is not a character I think anyone needs to DEFEND (except in the sense of omg stop putting her in chains or killing her off when she’s inconvenient) because she’s utterly in control of herself, her image, her goals, and yet she has a vulnerability and a pain to her dark past which makes her interesting. The more we learn about her the more we learn about how she became what she is when we first meet her, and 12x11 for me did some AMAZING stuff with Rowena that finished the process of making her softer and more friendly in that she’d forged a better alliance with the Winchesters and we saw her and Dean utterly vulnerable around each other, which makes for incredible character development. We were only just starting to get a real idea of the woman behind the appearance she makes of herself, but it’s been hinted all along how hard she had to fight to get what she wanted, and how she gravitates towards comfort and being looked after and using her power to get it because of how poorly she was treated? She’s much easier to sum up in a paragraph, while I’ve written pages and pages and pages about Mary in both meta and fic, but that doesn’t mean she’s less developed, she just has a smaller overall legacy in the show as when she comes back it will only be her 4th season to Mary’s overarching importance to *13* seasons.

And… UGH. I just rewatched 10x09 recently and it’s SO INTERESTING. I remember all that meta from the time, about Rowena paralleling John, her bad parenting to his, and she comes back now almost as a precursor to Mary, trying the waters with bringing Crowley’s mum back into his life to see how that all goes over, his disappointment, the way she DELIBERATELY manipulates him, makes him need her again, until he casts her out, their back and forth, their conviction to the end that they should have been the one to kill the other… Their revenge story… Crowley just wanting to know WHY she was such a bad parent, Rowena loving another boy but not him as a son, so it’s the utter opposite of “family don’t end in blood” - that their only tie IS their blood and they mutually loathe each other because of it. Because they can’t be rid of each other because of it… I mean it’s the dark mirror to Mary coming back in the sense that Rowena is absolutely unapologetically a bad parent when she returns. That Crowley, softened up by the last couple of seasons, seriously struggles with her return… The Crowley and Rowena stuff in season 10 is actually really interesting, even if some of it is pretty ridiculous in execution, the point of having it there is fascinating, especially when you marathon through and then join it up to season 11.

None of that is meant to say Rowena is good, or stanning for her is, like, advocating her awful parenting as a pinnacle of goodness. It’s just saying, she’s a terrible person but a fascinating character, and why wouldn’t we enjoy her being fun and evil and unapologetic for that on our screens, just as much as we might like Jody being patient and kind and the sort of gentle, understanding motherly pinnacle of “good” mothers on the show.

And Mary is WONDERFULLY in the middle of that. I don’t know if people are having issues with her just because they have issues with their own mothers or because of expectations that the show was deliberately subverting that people just didn’t gel with and so came at her all from the wrong angles expecting her to be domestic and to bring peace rather than conflict, but Mary is a *startlingly* good female character on the show, and she exists in the space between Jody, the pinnacle of being a “good” mother, and Rowena, the blatant “bad” mother, but as soon as Mary strays from being the pure saintly victim image that we had for 11 years, even the flashbacks never changing her position as a victim of the narrative despite trying to give her some more personality and just making her spunky on top of being pure, rather than deepening her…

I mean one of my BFFs who hasn’t been watching the show so much lately really hated the idea of Mary coming back because she sees the boys as too old to be treated as “the boys” and Mary’s purpose to only be to heal and to protect them, and why would the show bring her back to deal with their mommy issues, it’s just too late, too little, how can you ever patch her back into their lives and fix everything? They’re too OLD to deal with their mommy issues.

And that’s literally the antithesis of what season 11 was doing: what it ACKNOWLEDGED was the issue with bringing Mary back, that she can’t be a nurturer, can’t do a fresh start on their issues. Can’t just make it all better by being there and putting band aids on their knees and tucking them into bed. They weren’t raised with that. They can’t RETROACTIVELY get it from her because it’s not age appropriate and they have developed as people.

And for the first time, Mary is allowed to just exist and wander around the Bunker and cut her hair and wear hunter-y clothes instead of that freakin’ nightgown, and UPSET them by not fitting in because there’s the way it feels like she SHOULD have been aka kissing boo boos, and the way they know she CAN’T be that because it’s weird but they still missed out on it, and the way she is how she is for real after only ever having images and dreams and conjured djinn versions or fake Heaven versions or people wearing her face, and so on and so on. Just a real flesh and blood woman who was manipulated literally to heaven and back by outside forces, trying to deal with losing *everything* over and over, and being presented with her weird family of adult sons and attached angel, clearly nursing depression and a total lack of direction and connection…

I mean people connect with Mary for some pretty obvious reasons about motherhood and loss and depression all of which are represented in her weird situation with metaphorical links to real life feelings. Imagine she had post natal depression about Sam and look at season 12 again and *bam* she’s 100 miles deep and it huuuurts. I haven’t even had a baby let alone this entire analogy but I can see it right there in her story. I don’t need to RELATE directly to find it interesting? And there’s so much more about her beyond this one random thing I just picked up as an example. Imagining being in her shoes and then imagining how Sam and Dean have talked about her and seen her as the casual viewing audience is a STARK way to put her story in contrast to make sense.

Like, if you just allow Mary to be her own person with her own story and motives, there’s so much in there, that you don’t get if you just look at her like she could have been something to Sam and Dean that she wasn’t and immediately write her off as just as bad as Rowena - who is also far more complex than just a bad mother. If it’s these characters not living up to idea motherhood that makes you hate them that’s something you have to get over to see WHY people might like them, for the same reasons people can like flawed messed up non-mother characters.

I mean Mary in season 12 functionally has a similar arc/intro to the story as JACK does, the same conflict about finding themselves in this world, the same drive to make it right, and Mary’s dealing with the PAST she’s fucked up, and Jack’s dealing with immediate present fuck ups and the weight of expectations of his FUTURE fuck ups that everyone wants him to do this that and the other… But Jack immediately got a ton of adoring fans and I would say fandom seems to lean pro-Jack, while it’s generally anti-Mary, despite the fact they have had very similar, parallel struggles to integrating into the world and dealing with expectations/problems.

But Jack is a cute as a button baby son for the fandom who can be easily forgiven for everything, and Mary is its flawed, messy mother. And you clearly seem to have the same knee jerk reaction that Good Mothers are characters to be rewarded and loved for their kindness and strength and flaws in acceptable amounts that do not harm their ability to parent well and be supportive and present. And Bad Mothers apparently can’t even be enjoyed as an interesting villain-but-not-bad-guy like Rowena who is out for herself unapologetically - a confidence trait that people CAN and should admire in obviously less “murder a bunch of people because they’re in the way” quantities to aspire to if they need a just a pinch of Rowena in their lives. And Mary who was a VICTIM in the narrative until 12x01, I have to repeat, and on earning her narrative freedom, aka not doomed by Heaven, and seen only through Sam and Dean’s eyes but allowed to be herself, abruptly goes in others’ eyes from sweet mother mary to being utterly ruined and the worst character. Because she couldn’t parent her ADULT sons while *grieving* her baby sons and husband, who not only is dead but she has to come to terms with what her death, her fuck up, did to him and did to her sons.

Season 12 HAS to be viewed through Mary’s POV when the episodes are about her, and she HAS to be given full compassion as a POV important character like you would do for Sam and Cas and Dean and now Jack, and Jody and/or Donna when they’re on screen, or Claire and Alex in their episodes. I mean 9x19 is from Alex and Jody’s POV. There are a couple of Winchester scenes but the emotional storytelling is ALL on Alex and Jody, to the point of them having all the opening and closing scenes, while Sam and Dean appear like outsiders to them. This same thing is used on Mary a few times - making us look at Sam and Dean from her eyes.

12x03, also by Berens - because he’s amazing at this sort of thing - makes us look at them this way. It sets up how Sam and Dean *are* to Mary with the horrifying baby in the crib and the little ghost boy. Her lost children. And Sam and Dean blanking her out of working the case by accident because they’re so much more efficient with modern tech. Letting her solve it with old fashioned tech and application of heart. We see Mary’s entire process in this episode that leads to her leaving. It’s *beautiful*. Please go watch that episode from Mary’s POV.

(And enjoy Rowena being an unapologetic badass in the background :P)

I am literally begging if you don’t understand and hate Mary in season 12 to try it again from her POV and be less precious about Sam and Dean and how much value she has determined only by how well she mothers them.

I mean dammit I’m just gonna rec my own fic I wrote after 12x14 because I think it explains how I view Mary sympathetically and as a complex character without apologising for or defending her, just caring about her story and trying to understand her, more effectively than any meta I could write.

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10143074

But also just rewatch 12x01, 12x03, 12x06, 12x09, 12x14, 12x21 and 12x22 from Mary’s POV, even just her important scenes. Pause the episodes after she does stuff you struggle with and ask yourself how SHE would feel based on HER history if you’re having trouble getting into it. Remember how she saw Dean and Sam in 12x03 in the metaphors of the cursed burnt out baby boy and the lil ghost child because that DIRECTLY links to 12x22′s dream sequence. You’re going to see her suicidal, lost, confused, desperate to fix the mess she made… And ultimately in 12x23 she is vindicated for her deal with the AU being based on it NOT happening, and she’s the point from which it all came. Remember 4x03 Mary at that point, how she was an innocent victim as much as anyone else, being funneled into being “John and Mary, husband and wife” JUST because Heaven wanted it. How she’d already been raised as a hunter by her strict father and wanted to be FREE. How she has been un-free, how even her idea of freedom was all a manipulation by both heaven and hell, that she was a baby factory for the both of them. That her deal was for that freedom, but as poisoned as everything else that ever happened and her death in 1x01 is the punishment for trying to be free.

Remember that bringing her back sets her free but also takes away *everything* from her, including Sam and Dean, and leaves her with only her identity as a hunter to fall back on. And then they take away that too.

Remember that Mary is as messed up as her boys, who we LOVE for being messed up, complicated human beings, and that her goodness as a mother is just one aspect of her character, but not the defining one we’re supposed to like her for.

Remember that all the images of Mary we see between season 2-6 are manipulations and lies and extrapolations in 2x20 of how DEAN feels about what Mary is/what he WANTED her to be, and the only real Mary we saw that whole time was the one in 1x09, who was as defensive of her boys as she was in season 12, and whose only real words were to APOLOGISE to Sam for what she’s done, a character arc she can’t pick up again from her POV until SEASON 12, even if it’s been thrice resolved for Sam. That her dying thoughts were knowing she’d doomed Sam. That she only understood her deal when it was too late and she was pinned to the ceiling.

Remember that the reason she seems to be a bad mother in the story in season 12 is because they WANTED her to be that way, because they’re FREEING her of the image of what she was for 12 long years. They’re turning her into a real character. That it’s a calculated breakdown and DEVELOPMENT of her character beyond being a 1 dimensional saintly dead mother, whose fleshed out backstory made her more and more a tragic victim of circumstance and took away all her agency, her memories, and the last time we see her in 5x13 she is parroting the “angels are watching over you” line in a way that gives you the sickest dread of dramatic irony, as in that context it is about how her sons are about to DIE for this if the angels get their way. She’s helpless. She’s the buttmonkey of the apocalypse.

Whatever else you feel about season 12 and Dabb and all, there was a huge effort from all the writers who touched her story - ALL of them - to free her and take this weight from her, to tie her into the current arc while respecting how the past would CRUSH her. And they DID crush her. And within that crushing, when exactly was she, the most emotionally scarred and messed up Winchester on the playing field that year, supposed to be a good mother to Sam and Dean when that definition seems to include selfless sacrifice and giving more of yourself? She thought that’s what she was doing with the BMoL, and it destroyed her all over again. It literally carved her out and left her empty. More people got hurt because she tried to do something to make it right. And she lost herself in the process. It’s not a subtle metaphor. Or how it was resolved with honesty and bringing the family back together.

… You can probably tell we got an esspresso maker for Christmas by the length of this reply. Just… Argh, no. Mary is one of the most fascinating female characters and fuck the idea she has to be a good mum to be a good character or that we can only like the most pure characters. If she had been a good mum in season 12 she would have been PAINFULLY boring and flat and under-used. What would you have DONE with her? installed her in the Bunker to do nothing more than provide comfort at the start and end of each episode, and sometimes come along on safe easy hunts? Need to be rescued in all the dramatic moments because she couldn’t fuck up and cause something herself ever? She can be rescued NOW because she fucked up enough last season it’s a different aspect of her character to be in this position. Which she kinda got herself into by PUNCHING LUCIFER IN THE FACE.

And if you can see Mary how I see her, then suddenly all her heart and kindness is there, she’s wonderful, she’s complex, she’s just fundamentally broken and messed up and had her own issues with Sam and Dean that came from this, that were explored and addressed FROM HER POINT OF VIEW, and helped her from HER OWN PERSPECTIVE to overcome the first hurdle of being reintegrated into the story.

Just… give her a chance to be human. Everything you say you can’t see in her is right there when you do.

#Asks #character development works backwards too!#people can slide down bad ways!#season 9 and 10 were character development for Dean #season 4 was INCREDIBLE character development for Sam #season 6 has the most character developing episode for any character ever in Cas #they're all fuck ups!#how can you have a fave if they don't fuck the fuck up???#mary F Winchester #Rowena #It's being protective from the people who accuse them of being flat and horrible without understanding them tbqh sorry #I really hope you can like Mary even a fraction of the amount I like her #PLEASE give her another chance!!!

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krishmashah19 · 4 years

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Different Ways To Write Better Characters

Characters are one of the pillars on which your story would be standing. It is important, therefore, to spend enough time to make them three dimensional. While writers are encouraged not to just introduce their characters, it is important to realize info dumps are also not welcome. You are trying to get your readers to be invested in your characters.

In this blog post, we got you different ways to write better characters. So read on to see if there’s something you’ve missed from our comprehensive list!

Representation Matters

Writing diverse characters brings your readers the chance to feel represented. In our day by day lives, we go over individuals who have distinctive sexual directions, who hail from various foundations, who recognize as non-double, who are trans. At the point when we consider the book world we are building, it is a portrayal of this present reality. For instance, Patrick from Perks of being a Wallflower was gay, believed himself to be the prettiest individual in the room, and he wore his fact as a crown.

Give your character a goal

Unless you give your character a goal, chances are people will not care what happens to him/her. Gillian Flynn’s novel, Gone Girl, is about a dysfunctional couple – and told from two conflicting points of view. While the husband tries to find his wife, the wife does her best to stay gone from the town. Similarly, John Green’s novel Paper Towns has the protagonist Q, read all the clues left behind by his childhood crush, Margo, so that he can find her again. We want to know what happened to Margo too. We start trying to solve the clues along with Q to figure out the truth about Margo. Q’s goal is to find Margo and bring her back home. In the end, he does find her, but what he doesn’t realize is whether Margo ever wanted to be found in the first place!

Imagine about your character

Don't simply compose your character. Put time in making them. Consider their preferences, their abhorrences. What they trust in, what they can't stand. Other than pondering what they look like – think about their history. On the off chance that you intend to make your character better with a temperamental storyteller, at that point drop indications all through the anecdote about the equivalent. Perusers don't care for being deceived by the creator. They like it when their doubts are affirmed. We educate that you discover ways regarding indicating these things through your story. Not simply telling.

Make your characters likable

There is a difference between a likable character and an unlikeable character. You can write likable antagonists and protagonists who people can’t like at all. Severus Snape from the Harry Potter Series proves to be a likable villain. It was not until the very end of the series that we learn the secret Snape harbored. And in the fifth book, we get a glimpse into his life – and his affection towards Lily Evans i.e. Harry Potter’s mother. Whereas a lot of times readers have expressed their frustration at the stupidity exhibited by Harry Potter himself – especially during the events of The Order of the Phoenix, when he decides to go against all his friends and charge into the Ministry of Magic to save his godfather.

Give your character a rich history

Maybe they fought with their enemy when they were little. Where the characters have either known one another or just met. Be that as it may, they have existed before the perusers meet them. For example, Lara Jean from To All the Boys I've Loved Before used to be closest companions with Genevieve when they were pretty much nothing. However, a misconception has made a break between them, which shows itself in little routes in the present.

Give them quirks

If I said, I won’t think about it today, I will think about this tomorrow – you would know I’m referring to Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind. These quirks give your characters a much higher recall. Or Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter. If anyone made a joke about radish earrings and reading a magazine upside down, you would know they were referring to this free-spirited world from the wizarding world.

Put obstacles in their path

Don’t let your hero or heroine walk through a wall of the fire unscathed. Put obstacles in their path. Make them fail. No one likes a protagonist who has everything handed down to them. What makes a story interesting is how the hero or the heroine keeps going despite all the challenges life might throw at them. Obstacles are failsafe to ensure your reader doesn’t abandon you in the middle of the journey.

Give them moral dilemmas

That being stated, we might likewise want to see them verge on the intersection those lines. Put them in unthinkable circumstances and afterward assist them with finding an exit from it. Not exclusively will it make for an extremely grasping story – it will make your perusers start to ask themselves what they may do whenever put in similar shoes as the characters they are finding out about. The acclaimed contention – "I didn't have a decision" can be countered and tested. Also, as the creator, this is your opportunity to change the account.

Ultimately, it is your story and you get to decide the voices that get to tell it. We hope this article helps you create the character roaming around in your head but you never could get quite right on paper!

#Different Ways To Write Better Characters #How to write a book

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evilasiangenius · 7 years

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Ekstasis end notes

Usually I wait until I’m done with the story to write up end notes, but Ekstasis is looking to take some time to write. So before I forget the details (and I’ve already forgotten some things) I thought I’d post the notes here.

Note: this is a working draft; I’ll be revising these since I still have some other stuff to go through.

Chapter 1

Ekstasis starts after Furiosa has lost her arm but before she goes to visit Angharad and the girls at the end of Fortuna. That part I haven't come to yet.

The Ace talks more in detail about putting on mourning scars in chapter 12 of Gloria. It's assumed that many people have already put on mourning (Coil, Morsov, Nux, etc.) since it's been some time since Acosta's death.

Imperator Acosta dies in chapter 4 of Fortuna.

Coil had been doing the bulk of caring for Furiosa at night, mostly when she was very ill, until the Ace was well enough to take over. He could only come later in the evenings due to work. Furiosa does not remember those early weeks of recuperation when Coil was by her side and never learns about it until many years later in Gloria.

Furiosa and Coil's earlier relationship is explored in Tenera. In chapter 4 of Euphoria, their friendship and relationship is damaged at the last War Games. They haven't been as close in recent months as they were before the War Games.

Chapter 2

This is the car that Nux drives in Fortuna.

Morsov was assigned to Nux as his Lancer in Fortuna. He's surprised because Furiosa is not wearing the white and is basically topless.

Morsov saved Furiosa's life on top of the War Rig in Fortuna.

Rose the Blackthumb is a character that can be seen in the movie, a heavyset War Boy in overalls that is doing auto body work on the Interceptor when Max makes his wild run through the lower warren of the War Tower.

The higher number the gauge, the thinner the steel. 22 is more along the lines of contemporary cars, which are far lighter and more fragile than classic cars of the 20th century.

A War Boy of War Boys is one who has survived the desert initiation run, which is written about in L'Arbre du Ténéré, a three day walk with no food or water.

From the moment Slit accepts Nux's proposal, several days pass, up to a few weeks. I think I had this figured out when I was writing Tenera, that it would take a week or two to get everything ready.

Nux had probably been using a communal wheel up until this point, probably some nearly unadorned one that is used by the daily patrol drivers whose vehicles are assigned at random as opposed to the more ornate and decorated wheel that he and Slit put together.

If Slit had left Nux alone in the car overnight, it would have said something rather unpleasant about their relationship to others.

Slit's bracer then is a copy of Rictus' bracer. Copying elite goods using ordinary materials is archaeologically attested as far back as the Chalcolithic.

In the short story Our World, Nux tells Capable that his bracelet is welded on, but he's not telling the truth there.

The story of the hex key is in chapter 2 of Vulnera.

So far, Slit is careful to keep his self-harm to parts of his body that are covered by his clothes.

Chapter 3

Some of the work done on Furiosa's hand is described in chapter 5 of Rota.

There are heavier and lighter deka- weights (since it's base-10 metric), and War Boys know from context which one is which. So either dekagrams or dekakilos. This idea originally came from Italian, which uses etto to signify 100 gram measurements.

Morsov, your Buzzard is showing. Stop staring at Rose literally like a piece of meat.

A few weeks have passed since Furiosa left the infirmary in the first chapter and her arm is finally completely healed up.

In lieu of traditional fats for soap making, soap at the Citadel is made from petroleum distillates.

Coil has been sick with worry that Furiosa would die. He's already lost one partner and the stress of possibly losing another partner has been hard on him.

Petroleum jelly is naturally black. The idea here is that there is a more expensive purified clear one that is used medicinally, and otherwise the regular black one is used decoratively.

Stonker's backstory and childhood is explored in later chapters of Vincula, starting at chapter 9.

War Boys that have an interest and skill in drawing sometimes end up learning how to brand. Win definitely did this too.

Acosta had been Ace's friend since they were both teenagers. This can be seen in various chapters of Vincula, starting around chapter 4.

Morsov's childhood and his being rescued out of the waste is explored in Refuge.

The Ace putting a crewmate under the wheels is discussed in chapter 4 of Rota.

More on Morsov's relationship with his former Driver Elvis can be found in chapter 4 of Euphoria.

The music box plays Hushabye Mountain.

Chapter 4

Bioluminescent glowworms are native to Australian caves. The Buzzards cultivate them when they can for extra light.

In the dark, Buzzards all wear a small red piezoelectric LED bulb. Red light helps them keep their night vision. Their cars also are fitted with red bulbs.

Tran and Dart were Coil and Furiosa's rival team in chapter 3 Vulnera. They've all been buddies since (see Lamia).

The current hierarchy, from top to bottom, and rating War Boys by experience is Furiosa, the Ace, Tran, Coil, Dart, Morsov. However since Morsov trained directly under the Ace, he's been put in charge.

War Boys eat mostly non-meat foods. The only meat that's eaten in this part of the wasteland is human, which as far as the War Boys know, only the Buzzards eat, though the War Lords are known to indulge, such as in chapter 6 of Vulnera.

The cohort of War Pups are those specifically chosen to be trained to be future Lancers and Drivers, which is a small percentage of the whole (less than 20%). All the other kids are Organics, which means they do little jobs around the Citadel and work on the farms. Sometimes non-cohort boys can work their way into the Revhead world and ostensibly get trained up to be a Lancer, but that sort of promotion is not as common as it was in the past during Ace's youth for example, since there is more available labor now and those in charge can afford to be picky about who gets promoted to do what.

After the War Party in Fortuna, many captives and vehicles were captured.

The War Games are described in chapters 3 and 4 of Euphoria, and live training is described in chapter 3 of Vulnera.

The Ace fell off the War Rig during a battle in Fortuna.

Stonker is defined as “something that is very large or impressive of its kind.” I first came across the word reading BBC Formula 1 Grand Prix highlights (“That was a stonker of a lap!”).

The goggles Morsov gives to the Ace were the ones that Morsov brought with him when he came to the Citadel in Refuge. Of course, rubber parts have been replaced over time, but he gives these to the Ace, who wears them from now on.

Chapter 5

Nux lesson plans as part of his daydreaming, among other things. Visualization is important for many athletes, actors, and others in general (e.g. the book “The Inner Game of Tennis”) Specifically for this story, I envisioned it as how Formula 1 drivers do a lot of visualization. A dramatization of this can be seen in the movie Rush where James Hunt visualizes the Monaco Grand Prix course. Look up 'Internal Motor Imagery Rush 2013' on Youtube.

The Tertius and Quartus Imperators are the two Imperators seen on top of the Gigahorse in the movie. I think some fans call them Frank and John (John and Frank?). I don't know if they're fraternal or identical twins.

The very formal speech of the twin Imperators is partially to show their status, but mostly because Immortan Joe demands propriety in his presence. As soon as business is over, they drop the formality, but notice that they pick up the formality again with the Ace, suggesting they have some serious official business with him.

The different emblems can be seen in the movie: The Prime Imperator wears the full emblem, made from metal, and the Secundus (aka Composite) Imperator wears a leather badge.

Furiosa changes her manner of speech to be more deferential to the higher-ranked Imperators. However throughout the series, she hasn't changed her manner of speech much unless she's talking to someone higher-ranked, which sort of suggests that she's always a little bit off in contrast to the other War Boys, never quite fully acculturated into War Boy Society, though her style of speech turns out to be very suited for the way an Imperator speaks.

Imperator Acosta's given name is taken from Formula 1 driver Fernando Alonso's last name.

“Extended family of the long run” means that the Imperators have known the Ace since they were all survivors of the long failed run to Walhalla, a place in the mountains. This story is told in Rota.

The Tertius and the Quartus know Coil because Coil is their son, by a Milking Mother. Coil does not know this however, as parentage is kept secret. For those curious, Coil's mother has already appeared in the series as a minor background character.

Tribal affiliation is more important than race or gender in this world, so Morsov will always be slightly ostracized because of his Buzzard origins. Bandits and ferals are considered opportunists and many of the children they might have may be captives themselves or claim to be captives, but Buzzards are hated enemies.

Dart's the mathematical one.

At 11.25 hands, Stonker is just shy of 6'6”. Unlike Nux, who stayed very small until he grew very suddenly, Stonker has always been tall for his age, so he had been promoted quickly to account for it, making Driver before he grew too tall to be a Lancer. It also didn't hurt that he was well-connected.

Many minor War Boy characters are named after friends' pets. Bucket is no exception.

Stonker must have made an official offer to Bucket at the War Games, because it was at the same War Games when Morsov's Driver broke up with him. Of course, Morsov losing his ride was probably not official for a few days, so Stonker wouldn't have known. Once Stonker asked Bucket properly before the community, there would be no way to back out of it politely.

Paired War Boys often smooth out each other's rough spots. Dart does this for Tran, and Nux does this for Slit.

Dart's too far-sighted to be very helpful doing close-up work. He passed his Revhead qualifications by being strong in his understanding of theory and concepts, even though he can't see well enough to do the fine work. He's more useful as a scout, a look-out, and a sniper.

As Miss Giddy says, there is always a girl called Splendid. (Euphoria, Chapter 3).

The new Secundus is Elvis, Morsov's former Driver. The prior Secundus died in battle.

Chapter 6

In the Iliad, Patroclus is addressed as 'O my Rider'.

Win is quoting an old Middle English song, “Sumer is Icumen in”.

Coil and Win are hiding out in the old warren, which is the same place that the Ace hides Morsov in Refuge.

Coil signs “crazy about you”, similar to Jessie in the original Mad Max movie.

The Ace talks more about what happens to Imperators' bodies after their deaths in chapter 5 of Rota.

Moki came from a Trader family.

Frances is the Ace's older sister, who is described in Rota.

This is a long time before he is known as The Ace, so he's merely called Ace.

Nothing goes to waste; anything that can be eaten will be eaten.

Ace is of course, ace, but not aromantic. But Acosta doesn't understand, and thinks it a blow to his pride. I haven't written it, but the reason Acosta suggests that Coil should fool around with other War Boys during the War Games (mentioned in Euphoria, chapter 4) is because that's what Acosta did himself after his break with Ace years ago. It's very quietly hinted at in Vincula, but Moki became Acosta's lover, which gave Moki a lot of influence (and thus furthered both Win and Stonker's careers). Moki loved Acosta despite the fact that he knew Acosta always loved Ace more.

In Vincula, it's revealed that in the past, Elvis also courted Coil when Coil was a Lancer. He is much more respectful toward Coil than he is toward Morsov, because Coil is very well-connected and has many friends. In contrast, Morsov is poorly connected and socially ostracized, which gives Elvis more freedom in abusing him because there would not be social pressure to make Elvis stop. What Elvis does to Morsov, he would not dare to do to another Lancer.

Weight requirements can be very strict on pursuit vehicles, where Drivers and Lancers both want to be as strong as possible without overly weighing down the vehicle. This follows any formula of racing cars where driver have to keep down their weight, which is much harder for tall drivers than smol ones (see Nico Hulkenberg vs Fernando Alonso).

In this case, the shopbound Revhead Bristow probably worked their way up from an Organic and never trained to fight. It's not always the case that someone is shopbound because they screw up or they're too tall.

Gastown and Bulletfarm War Boys are a lot poorer than Citadel War Boys; in general, they aren't fed or watered as much. Of course things are different with their Imperators, but the War Boys in general just are not as strong or healthy compared to Citadel War Boys. This is my theory as to why Max can cut a swathe of destruction through the Polecats; not that Max is inherently stronger or a better fighter, but that even a Citadel bloodbag gets more to eat and drink than a Gastown War Boy.

Win is singing, “In the Shadow of Clinch Mountain.” Besides symbolic reasons for this song, it also shows how the world was extremely international before it was killed, so culture was spread all around.

Chapter 7

Tin boxes in lieu of cardboard, since cardboard is more costly to produce.

I never described the internal construction of the tanker, but the way I imagine it, besides a large interior with which to haul goods and slaves, much of the tanker is lined with a water compartment that insulates the goods once it's full of water. There is a subcompartment within the water compartment for milk, and the water around it keeps it cool and insulated.

Balanced packing is important so the tanker does not tip over when its lowered down on the lift. If it's unbalanced, it could cause a lot of trouble. There is a famous example of a military cargo jet that floundered and crashed in Afghanistan due to improperly secured vehicles leading to an unbalanced load.

The triangle run is referenced in both Vulnera and Gloria. It is a reference to the historic transatlantic triangular trade of slaves, sugar, and rum.

Numbered Imperators serve Immortan Joe directly.

Runs to Bulletfarm and Gastown don't require more than a small crew because the Citadel territory is guarded very fiercely. Long Bartertown runs require big escorts to protect the goods as they go far from Citadel territory.

The Wretched support themselves by working the mills. These millsworks are mostly in the lower part of the Third Tower, and the Wretched are segregated from the War Boys to prevent any possible spread of disease, though there are some Organics and Imperators that oversee their work. These people are paid in food and water. Fighting War Boys never interact with such people.

These little terrace gardens are as close to private ownership of land as it gets for War Boys. Some Revheads and Organics may tend little plots, trading off surplus foodstuff or giving it to families down below.

The hook seen in Max's long run is used to run a small cable car between the Immortan's Tower and the War Tower. It helps move goods easily between the towers.

The idea for calling the motorcylists Moto-Lancers came from MotoGP, a major international motorcycle racing format.

Hundy is a slang term for a $100 bill. It's also the name of a friend's pet.

Support trucks double carrying gear and fighting War Boys. Some of them have mounted flamethrowers or guns.

Furiosa inadvertently builds alliances with War Pups by feeding them.

The Lift Imperator is named after the farmer in Babe, Arthur Hoggett.

Rule of three is first mentioned in Vulnera and is a vehicle safety principle for Lancers. It means making sure to have three contact points with the vehicle, ideally at all times or at least as much as possible. So both feet and one hand, both hands and one foot, etc.

The Immortan's drummers of course are the Doof Wagon drummers.

Chapter 8

An early idea I had was that some War Boys got sick from from painting the dials of their cars with radioluminescent paint, much like the radium girls poisoning cases in the early 20th century.

For various ideas on how War Boys would wear their blankets, I went looking at fashion blogs since oversized scarves, aka 'blanket scarves' were (are?) popular. So Cosmo and various other sites gave me some good ideas on how to wear blankets since I wanted individual War Boys to have their own styles.

Of course Furiosa has no idea what's going on in Morsov's personal life (ain't no Imperator got time for drama), but she would probably agree that as long as it didn't interfere with work or morale, that it would be fine.

Stonker's 'strange background' is described more in Vincula, chapters 9 and above. The strangeness is that he is probably one of the only War Boys around to have been raised by a parent, Win. This is the same Win who was Coil's former Driver.

Before he was rescued by the Citadel and became a War Boy, Win came from a Trader family and had always worn a condenser. Some notes in Vincula talk about this more, but generally the idea is that without regular and certain sources of water, Traders relied on condensers, recycling even their exhalations. This is of course similar to the Fremen in Dune (though possibly not as smelly since Traders don't wear stillsuits to recycle sweat and waste).

I noticed in the movie that there is this thing that sort of looks like a rolled curtain tucked against the ceiling of the War Rig between the seats. I imagine that this is a privacy curtain for the Imperator, so they can get some privacy and rest.

A bollard of course is something that can be used to block traffic. This is to stand in for 'bollocks', which would be the more correct way of cursing.

Not all War Boys are sexually inclined. This particular support truck has a couple asexual War Boys.

Bucket has had his teeth filed to sharp points, which suggests that his origins are from outside of the Citadel.

The top belt, the one that many War Boys wear is used both as a practical safety measure (e.g. clipping it to the vehicle in order to take a little nap, in chapter 1 of Tenera) and also as an erotic symbol. For example, in Delicia chapter 2, Win tells Coil to undress for sex but to keep his top belt on.

The Ace had intentionally left Furiosa and Coil alone.

Note that the Nux car had a crummy seat stuck in beside the Driver's seat, which gives us an idea of where Nux and Slit are headed in this story.

A temporary seat was bolted in the FDK when the Ace and Slit came to pick up Nux out of the waste in L'Arbre du Ténéré.

Stonker is telling Morsov a story that Win had told him ages ago (Vincula). As babyrubysoho asked me, is this Bedtime Star Wars? The answer of course is, yes.

Slit's probably going to have to reopen his wound so his mouth can open more. More on this later.

Chapter 9

I had an idea recently that the Buzzards were also called such because of their buzzing staticky radio code, not just because they were carrion feeders and scavengers. More on Buzzards later.

When the Buzzard's backhoe tears off half of the front gunner's nest, paper and all sorts of other debris goes flying. I suggest that it's full of accounting papers and radio logs, among other things.

The War Boys are definitely playing travel chess or checkers.

Youtube has many examples of people using Morse code on the radio and it is evident when people have practiced very hard at being good at it. Of course, cryptography and language mixtures have warped the standard Morse code so that the War Boys have no way of deciphering what is being said.

The new binary of the world is 1-2 and not 0-1. So banging on the roof of the car to notify the Driver comes in pairs, the War Rig needing assistance/speeding up the convoy sounds in pairs. Furiosa giving Max the kill switch code is also in this binary code (1-2, red-black). Of course the exception is that the Ace pounds on the top door three times to notify Furiosa about flares from the Citadel, but that's probably because he's seen something very unusual.

At a guess, food bars range between 400-600 calories a bar.

Eating five times a day is first referenced in Vincula, which is what the agricultural War Boys do during times of heavy work. I borrowed this idea from agricultural workers in rural Taiwan who apparently eat five times a day during the rice planting because of how hard the work is. In this case it's not so much that they're eating a lot, it's more that they're spreading out small meals over the entire day to stay more focused and alert.

Kashi now makes some savory bars that remind me how I imagine War Boy food bars. Costco on the other hand has some veggie burgers (Don Lee Farms Veggie Patties) that remind me of the War Boy mush. Mmm-mmm, McFeasting!

Slit's quote comes from Vulnera, where he talks more about his past.

The principle of aiding stranded vehicles in the open waste is something like the way ships are obligated to help out any other ship in distress.

The concept that the heliograph was much safer is because it needs a direct line of sight and to intercept it, someone would have to know exactly when the message was being sent and be in that direct line of sight, which would be very difficult since the road between the Citadel and Gastown is very well-guarded. For example, the Buzzards probably use radio because otherwise they would have trouble coordinating their attacks. However, being on a radio frequency opens them up to being overheard by Citadel forces.

The way the Ace estimates the caravan capacity is by counting the vehicles. (4 trucks x 2) + (3 cars x 2) + (5 motorcycles x 1) = 19. (4 trucks x 3) + (3 cars x 3) + (5 motorcycles x 2) = 31. He's giving a reasonable estimated min and max, though of course it could be a few people more or less.

A glass bottle like this can be seen mounted on the dash of the War Rig.

The bottle the Trader carries is basically similar to the one that is tied to the horse when Max gets sent to gulag in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

Sharing water is a show of trust as water is incredibly valuable.

I used a Wiradjuri online dictionary for names and pronunciation. https://wiradjuri.regenr8.org

The Noongar are traditionally from the southwest of Western Australia and the Wiradjuri are traditionally from central New South Wales near the east coast of Australia. The mix of people from different parts of the continent is intentional, and to suggest that people everywhere have been displaced because of historic calamity. Besides being a place name, Narrandera is a clan name of the Wiradjuri, and also a moiety, from what I understand. Narrandera also means prickly lizard or frilled lizard.

Not all Traders use the same naming conventions. So Win gave his family name first as many Asians do, but Garru is giving her given name. Garru is a Wiradjuri word for magpie.

The clothes that the People Eater wears (the three piece suit) is very much like what Traders would normally wear. Though usually not with the exposed nipple rings...

It hasn't been developed much, but I thought that the People Eater should be a false Trader, someone posing as a Trader but who is not from a traditional Trader family.

Garru just taught Furiosa the two-fingered salute and its more impolite variant. Now she can flip anyone off!

Garru has to get the other Traders' attention before signing.

For example, soldiers stationed on the demilitarized zone (DMZ) between North and South Korea tend to be picked for height, supposedly to intimidate the other side.

I haven't gotten there yet, but this description of Nux was to suggest that before he falls sick, he was actually heavier built. The idea was that when we see him in the movie, he's already lost at least 20 lbs which can be seen in how his clothes don't fit as well (notice how loose his trousers are compared to someone like the Ace).

Instead of having proper lights, the Trader truck has a bunch of flashlights stuck to its front.

The colors of the Traders were picked from Lazytown's three main characters: Robbie Rotten (red check), Stephanie (pink stripe), and Sportacus (blue). You can blame Elinekeit for this.

Aunty Entity is of course the ruler of Bartertown, portrayed by Tina Turner in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

“Pinkie” aka Marlee is an albino.

Stonker should have used 'a little' or 'some' but instead he picks the wrong word because he is not super fluent in Trader. This was written to suggest how someone who knows their second language better than their first might use their first language.

Nguyen is Stonker's given name, but as Stonker's mother was deaf, she only named him with sign language. The name Stonker was given to him by the Tertius Imperator. Nguyen is pronounced “Win”. Stonker does not know any of this.

Unfortunately I don't remember where I found the name Marlee (because I remember changing the spelling around but I don't recall the original spelling), but I seem to remember it was also a bird name, like another kind of magpie or crow.

Stonker's not related to these Traders, but the Traders might know people who are related to him.

I recall using the U-Haul rental truck site to get an idea of how much a truck might carry.

Note that the People Eater wears black as well, aping high-ranked Traders.

“Afghanistan is a big place” is a quote from Metal Gear Solid V.

“Remember him when you look at the night sky” is a quote from the original Mad Max movie.

In Vulnera, Furiosa helped Coil shave. It says something that Nux is doing it himself without Slit's help.

The beam of light coming from Bartertown is to suggest the Luxor Sky Beam in Las Vegas.

Chapter 10

Sometimes I make sure that imagery ties together from scene to scene and chapter to chapter.

That's definitely Stonker and Morsov.

This is Bartertown in the future, so it has expanded from the Bartertown we saw in Beyond Thunderdome. A small town has formed outside the gates, similar to how the Wretched encampment has sprung up around the Citadel.

Despite the Citadel being a very rich settlement as the waste goes, Bartertown is even richer, so there are actually animals like dogs.

The Vuvalini visit Bartertown too. But they run the opposite of War Boys, on moonless nights.

The entry into Bartertown has changed. I imagined these queues as a cross between Disneyland and the county fair.

In Thunderdome, the signs said “Pigs = Power”. However, I have removed the pigs from the story as they have mostly died out. This is because pigs are harder to keep than cattle, goats, or sheep, since they eat the same kinds of food as people do, as opposed to the former who can live off scrub. In addition, pigs need to be kept protected from the sun. There are scholarly articles on why pork was not eaten in the ancient near east because pigs directly compete with humans for food and require shelter, which cattle, sheep, and goats do not need. The assumption I am using here is that Beyond Thunderdome was set closer in time to the present pre-collapse day, therefore there were still a lot of animals around (monkey, horses, camels, pigs, dogs, etc.) but that between that time and the time the story is set, there were many periods of environmental hardship where many of these larger vertebrates died out. Pigs therefore are no longer used to power the methane farm; it's now human waste.

In Thunderdome, you could also see the Collector's abacus on the little desk.

The title of Assayer is made up; there wasn't a name for this character in Thunderdome, not that I am aware of.

The Assayer is probably used to seeing all sorts of homemade artificial limbs.

When I thought about it, Furiosa's bodice could not have feasibly survived daily wear for years. At some point it probably wore out, and now she has a shirt that's sort of similar, though it will probably have to take a beating for the next two years and change before we get to Fury Road.

This section was actually written in fall of 2015. Originally, Ekstasis started in Bartertown, but I realized I had to backtrack because there were a lot of ideas to explore with the characters. I don't regret it, but it's really taken some time to get to this point where I could use this section. It's taken some moderate editing to match this with the current story and I had to take out some things I really liked, like Coil picking up a sizable wound but being very proud of being able to have a scar to remember Furiosa's first run as Imperator.

From Beyond Thunderdome we can see that Bartertown is heavily fortified, built up against a plateau. I would suggest that beyond excellent geographic placement, it has good, reliable access to water, which is what's kept it an important center of trade through the years. Now that many generations have passed since the initial founding of Bartertown, the plateau itself has been carved through with canyons and planted; there are many farms and even some livestock. Of course access to those farms is very limited; it is all fully owned by Aunty Entity. There is an inner city closer to the plateau where the more wealthy live and work. The outer city is spread out further, though the Thunderdome and Aunty Entity's tower are still in their historic places. The existence of the inner and outer city suggests social and economic stratification over time.

The Tomi Caf is the Atomic Cafe.

Some of the buildings in Beyond Thunderdome look like they are plastered brick or mud brick, which also implies water wealth since if water is very scarce, one would not waste it on building materials.

Notice that Stonker refers to the kid consistently as a 'pup' but Morsov calls it a child.

The tailor's man is probably a servant as opposed to a husband.

In the ensuing generations after nuclear annihilation, we are starting to see a slow return to a cash-based economy. This was pioneered by Immortan Joe in early runs to Bartertown, which is discussed in Rota.

Sandals with the words “follow me” imprinted on the bottom were used by prostitutes in ancient Greece.

For reference on the iconography, I imagine that one of Morsov's arm brands is the moon wheel and the other is the sun wheel.

The 'Aqua-Cola slaves' reference is definitely meant to be commentary on the modern garment industry.

Notice that the Vuvalini in the movie wear scarves that are shot through with this rust-orange color that perhaps was once red.

The Many Mothers as a tribe culturally have higher respect for elders than War Boy society, which is more about respect for rank than age.

Some work would take a year not just because of intricacy but because the person making it was often not a full-time weaver, so it would be harder and longer work for them.

The bracelet on Coil's wrist was made from Furiosa's old dust wrap because she had no present for Coil on the night they were paired up. He's been wearing it since. It's intentional that he wears it on his right wrist, because some elements elements of Coil's character was meant to parallel Max in counterpoint.

I thought that War Boys who were too short to be Lancers (below 9.5 hands) ended up being sent to Gastown to be Polecats.

The oxen are actually much smaller than current oxen. I calculated them to be about 1200 lbs a piece, which is on the smaller end of the spectrum for bulls. The idea of course is that environmental stresses and selective favored smaller, more hardy animals that needed less water and food.

Why oxen? Partially because it is an ostentatious sign of wealth for Aunty Entity to keep animals this big just to drag around a cart, but mostly because the Merovingian kings also traveled around in an ox-cart, dispensing justice. There is also some ancient near eastern imagery connecting bulls to kingship. This is to tie back to the idea that they are living in a time similar to the dark ages.

Working oxen need shoes similar to the way that working horses need horseshoes.

The historic iconography of the ruler is one who holds the scepter and the orb. Here, Aunty Entity continues that ancient tradition that dates back to at least the Roman Empire.

Like the kings of the dark ages and the medieval, Aunty Entity is believed to have the power of healing. The paint chip will likely be resold as a relic.

#fortunae plango vulnera series #mad max #mad max fury road #mmfr #wasteland culture

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getsterekt · 7 years

Text

FIC RECS

in honor of gaining another hundred followers on my twitter account @getsterREKT heres another rec list.

This will just be made up of lots and lots of different types of fics. Make sure to read the warnings for each fic before reading.

(fics with ** are favorites)

It Takes A Village by Hypocorismm

Stiles's used to yogurt handprints on his shirts from where he picked her up, and he's used to snot on his shoulders and neck from where she cried after a bad dream. He's used to her legendary tantrums when she doesn't get her way, her eyes glowing ferocious gold. He's used to being the village it takes to raise her, and the pack she longs for.

Except, he needs the pack's help, and Derek's protection when a particularly power-hungry pack wants his cub. And he isn't used to sharing.

WORDS: 49227

RATING: Mature

CHAPTERS: 35/35

WARNINGS: angst, kidnapping, mpreg.

Night Stroll by Marishna

"Is it night there?"

Derek chuckled. "Yeah, it is. How do you know where I am?"

"I don't, that's why it's weird it's night. That puts you in... Europe?" Stiles asked after some quick math.

Derek raised an eyebrow. "Spain. You haven't lost that..." Derek waved his hand. "Stileness."

WORDS: 3276

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTER: 1/1

WARNINGS: derek has insomnia??? is that a warning??? idk

****Prince Among Wolves by tylerfucklin (Deshonanana)

Looking for full day/evening sitter. 2 twin boys age 4. Must have exp. w/werewolves. Must be human. No pedophiles. No teenage girls. Pay negotiable.

WORDS: 101,000

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS: 20/20

WARNINGS: mild transphobia, derek learns acceptance, broken family, so much angst

Walking Into Darkness by alenie

Derek hears Stiles before he sees him. There's anxious, wheezy breathing coming from the next aisle over in the grocery store, accompanied by a racing heart and the smell of unwashed sneakers and hair gel. He turns the corner and Stiles is standing frozen in the dairy aisle, knuckles clenched around the metal of his shopping basket.

WORDS: 6342

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: panic attacks, anxiety, depression, post 3b, pre-sterek relationship

****Ashes, Ashes by ShanaStoryteller

The Sheriff gets a call at work - someone's tried to burn down his home with his son inside.

"I thought of you coming here, and finding me dead, of another burnt out husk of a body, something else fire has stolen from you, of you having nothing left to grasp but ashes," John can't even call that a whimper, it's clearly a whine as Derek's hands tighten against Stile's hips, as if his boy will shudder to dust at the mere mention of the possibility unless Derek's hands can hold him into one piece, "and that thought was worse than dying."

WORDS: 2699

RATING: Teen And Up

CHAPTERS:1/1

WARNINGS: so much angst, stiles nearly burns to death

Just Realize What I Just Realized by literaryoblivion

He’s never noticed it before; it’s always just been second nature to him these days, does it out of habit, but it’s not until he stops to actually think about it that it becomes abundantly and embarrassingly clear to him that he is in love with Stiles and that they are practically dating without the actual dating part…

WORDS: 2529

RATING: Teen And Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: a lil angst, (but mostly fluff)

The Potential Fatality of Assuming by crossroadswrite

The hair, the buttons and the general happy and slightly tired disposition with which Derek came back from his secret exploits were as obvious as a glaring neon sign flashing the words JUST GOT LAID.

A sign that Stiles ignored because he had a seven year plan god damn it.

(OR: in which Stiles assumes things, gets accosted by the sister he never/always wanted, discovers he was horribly wrong, almost dies via Derek Hale with kids, can't handle all that collarbone action, uses tickling as the ultimate mode of revenge, and gets a boyfriend. In that order.)

WORDS: 2196

RATING: General

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: misunderstandings, because stiles is dumb, lots of pining

****If I Could Trade Mistakes For Sheep, Count Me Away Before You Sleep by alisaj

"Thing is, Stiles," Derek says, his voice hard and unfaltering. "I didn't sign up for you. You just hung around until we got used to you being here."

That stings. He hadn't realised how Derek feels about him. They've been getting on quite well, teaming up on little missions and bantering back and forth without malice. Stiles sometimes lets Derek crash in his room after a big fight, trying not to let on how intriguing he finds the werewolf.

"Well now we can get used to you not being here. You're a liability, Stilinski. You can't protect yourself and we always end up having to help you when we've got more important things to do. You're out of the pack."

The one where Derek is a terrible Alpha and Stiles ends up walking into a big pile of shit.

WORDS: 33,383

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: stiles gets kicked out of the pack, derek is stupid, like, so stupid, stiles gets hurt, theres so much angst in this like wtf, stiles is sad, the pack sucks

Sour Kush (series) by alisvolatpropiis

Stiles mentally curses Erica, because in all of her warnings about how brusque this guy could be, she forgot mention that he’s also hotter than the fucking sun. If Stiles had any lingering questions about his sexuality, they’d be completely settled by what this guy is doing to him. In fact, he might not even be gay anymore. He might be in the midst of crossing into some yet-to-be-named sexuality that’s all about a scruffy black beard and alarming green eyes and muscles and tattoos and this guy’s everything ever.

The guy’s name is Derek, his lust-addled brain supplies distantly.

Well that settles it, then. Stiles is Dereksexual.

WORKS: 3

COMPLETE: it says no but they havent updated in like over 2 years so im guessing its done

WORDS: 15,392

RATING: Explict

WARNINGS: everyone is stoned all the time, also in work 2 stiles is hurt because he thinks derek is getting it on with parrish, they’re dumb, age difference, derek has a beardddd

I Just Want You For My Own (More Than You Could Ever Know) by yodasyoyo

“What is with that sweater, dude?”

Derek ducks his head to look at it, abashed. “Uh- Mrs Hernandez knitted it for me. It’s an early Christmas gift.” He smooths it down self-consciously.

Stiles cocks an eyebrow.

“What? She’s my neighbor and sometimes I-” Derek trails off. Stiles’ other eyebrow rises to join the first, and Derek sighs. “Sometimes I help her carry her shopping.”

Of course he does. One day maybe Stiles will stop being in love with Derek Hale, but today is not that day.

WORDS: 16,065

RATING: Teen And Up

CHAPTERS: 4/4

WARNINGS: pining, fake relationships, they’re both idiots.

Baby You’re Beautiful by supernaynay

“God you’re beautiful.”

Derek hadn’t even realized that the words had left his mouth until the whole room went silent, including Stiles, who until about five seconds earlier was busy yelling at him for putting himself in danger yet again.

WORDS: 1089

RATING: General

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: derek is hit with a truth spell

****(Sacred) In The Ordinary by idyll

The Pack, after college, graduate school and the starting of careers, comes back to Beacon Hills. Nothing's gotten less complicated after all this time.

Based on a kink meme prompt that grew legs and got serious.

Note: This is a whole lot of pack!fic with a very slow build Derek/Stiles.

WORDS: 78,759

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS: 9/9

WARNINGS: violence, slow build

Cause I Built a Home (For You, For Me) by noneedforhystereks

Mechanic!Derek and Daddy!Stiles

Derek Hale is a mechanic in the sleepy town of Beacon Hills, where he has lived all of his life. He spends his day in a simple routine: wake up, fix cars, go home, sleep. It's what he's good at, and it keeps things simple and uncomplicated. Derek doesn't let people in and remains emotionally distant from everyone except his sister, Laura, and her daughter. This all changes when Boyd tows in an old blue Jeep that needs a lot of work and Derek meets the owner of said Jeep.

Because once Derek meets Stiles and his kids, he can't stop himself from caring. And he doesn't want to stop.

WORDS: 59,719

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS: 15/15

WARNINGS: angst, pining, emotional hurt, stiles has a lot of baggage.

Waiting For Our Superman by tearsandholdme

Derek knew the moment he opened the front door of his clean and pristine apartment to Stiles Stilinski holding a small boy, a cluster of bags, and a suitcase, he was screwed. In every way possible. Undone by the big brown eyes of a small child and his annoying, witty, and attractive father.

WORDS: 95,240

RATING: Mature

CHAPTERS: 22/22

WARNINGS: angst, mpreg, emotional hurt, overprotective derek

Adding You to My Future by NekoIzumi

“So, I'm Stiles.” he smiled warmly once he had put his unannounced patient down on the exam table. “I will poke and prod you a little bit to check for internal injuries, those that I can’t see because they're inside you, and some of it might hurt but it will pass, I promise. I will tell you everything I'm about to do and why I'm doing it so just stay calm and this will go like a breeze, okay?”

Now, Stiles wasn’t stupid in any way, shape or form, he knew a were when he saw one… although he had obviously never seen a werecat before, and definitely not one as young as this one.

WORDS: 42,252

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS:9/9

WARNINGS: violence, like, lots of violence, slow build, gore, emotional comfort, bamf stiles

Stars Plummet: a Christmas Story by Peckishdragon

When Stiles left Beacon Hills, he never thought he would be coming back. Eight years later, he is coming home for Christmas, with a small passenger in tow. Old feelings, never forgotten, are rekindled.

WORDS: 11,589

RATING: Mature

CHAPTERS: 6/6

WARNINGS: a lil violence, like a tiny bit,

All They Have by Nival_Vixen

Single dads AU where Derek and Stiles meet because Derek’s daughter and Stiles’ trans son become friends at school.

WORDS: 4004

RATING: Teen And Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: trans child, which leads to ignorant adults being ugly fucks, protective derek

love comes in all shapes and sizes by trilliastra

“Daddy says that when I’m in trouble I should get the police because they always help us. You’re going to help me, right?” Stiles smiles at her, happy that today he decided to stop by the grocery store to buy milk after his shift instead of going straight home. At least now he’s able to help the little girl, who knows what would have happened to her if he weren’t around.

“Of course I will.” He smiles again. “What’s your name?”

“Rebecca Hale.” She answers proudly. “My daddy is Derek Hale.”

WORDS: 2207

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: kate argent

When You Wish Upon a Dragon by lupinus

Stiles is at the Hale house, lounging on the front stoop watching Isaac, Erica, and Boyd wrestle, when the baby comes running out of the woods. Derek becomes instant father to a magically appearing baby and falls in love. Stiles can’t take the cute and worries Derek’s heart will break if he loses the kid.

or, a dragon gives derek a baby, stiles is oblivious, steve just loves his bright pink rocking unicorn and his da and ma

WORDS: 13,739

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: none, but so much fluff

****Lucky That I’m Yours Every Day by stilinskisparkles

Derek doesn't see how Valentine's Day can get any better than a normal day with Stiles.

WORDS: 6772

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: fluff. just. all the fluff. its disgusting how fluffy it is really.

Relationship Status: It’s Complicated by kellifer_fic

Okay, I know this is a huge stretch for you, but can you please pretend you're like, into me?

WORDS: 4010

RATING: Mature

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNING: mentioned stiles/omc

***************Shot Through The Heart by LunaCanisLupus_22

All they've given him is the guy’s head shot. And it’s terrible because now he is ridding the world of one more ridiculously attractive, instant pants dropping- take me now, if you please- regulation hottie.

Even if he has a scowl to rival Kirsten Stewart.

Or the one when Stiles and Derek work for rival assassin companies and are sent to kill each other. It definitely doesn't go as planned.

WORDS: 64,833

RATING: Explicit

CHAPTERS: 12/12

WARNINGS: so much violence, they literally try to kill eachother, enemies to lovers pretty much

will to follow through by owlpostagain

“It depends entirely on how you look at it, I guess,” Stiles shrugs. “On the one hand, instant healing and the apparently inherited ability to pull off leather at all times. On the other, serious attitude problems and a suspicious disappearance of eyebrows.”

“Even Derek’s?” Danny snorts, “that’s a lot of eyebrow to lose.”

“I know,” Stiles agrees. “You should see, it’s so weird. Every time I want to ask him where they go, except he’d totally eat my face off.”

“There are worse ways to die.”

WORDS: 42,411

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 2/2

WARNINGS: angst, mentions of violence,

Professor D. Hale (series) by har1ey_quinn

A series of outsider POVs on Professor Hale and his significant other (with some guest appearances from the pack)

WORKS: 7

COMPLETE: possibly

WORDS: 18,008

RATING: Teen and Up

WARNINGS: none

go on without me!!!! (or the one where stiles is cursed by witches and overreacts to everything) by day

Stiles is cursed by witches and he can't react like a normal human being. Scott is a terrible best friend and can't stop laughing. Derek just wants it all to be over.

WORDS: 1396

RATING: General

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: crack

******For My Next Trick, I'll Regret All of My Life Choices: a performance by Derek Hale and 80% of his eyebrows by crossroadswrite

(978): I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW. . “What’s wrong with my eyebrows?”

Kira gives him a sympathetic look, and climbs up to sit next to him, “You kind of… don’t have one.”

“I what!” he shouts, wincing at the volume of his own voice.

Kira pats him on the shoulder and shoves a piece of toast in his hand.

“It’s not that bad,” she tries to console him with a smile, then glances up at his left eyebrow and winces, “It could definitely be worse. It’s not all gone. Just. Half of it.”

Derek considers crying into his orange juice but decides that would be a waste and because his mother taught him how to be a good guest he opts to drink it instead.

WORDS: 2566

RATING: Teen and Up

CHAPTERS: 1/1

WARNINGS: none buT THIS FIC IS AN ALL TIME FAV, THE FUCKING SQUIRRELS VIKING BURIAL GETs ME EVERYTIME, AND BATMAN OH MY

#sterek #eternalsterek #sterek is eternal #sterek fic #sterek fic rec #stiles stilinksi #derek hale #fic rec #fic rec post #hobrien #tyler hoechlin #dylan o'brien #teen wolf #teen wolf fic

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kansascityhappenings · 5 years

Text

Sleeping pills and planes: Embarrassing tales from 35,000 feet

It was a fun flight for travel writer John Vlahides as he flew from London to San Francisco in 2008. He taught a flight attendant how to tie a Bedouin turban with an airplane blanket, and then showed a sleepless young boy how to make paper airplanes. Sailing them over passengers’ heads in the economy cabin caused quite a ruckus.

It might have been a great way to pass the time on a boring overnight journey, except for one thing: John thought he was sleeping. After downing two small bottles of wine he had taken one milligram of a tranquilizer and 10 milligrams of Ambien, a popular sleeping aid.

Settling down for a long snooze, he had no idea he had been sleepwalking until he saw the photos and selfies on his smartphone the next day.

“The weird thing was remembering it all when I saw the pictures,” Vlahides said. “And you say, ‘Oh my God’ and you cringe.”

‘Ambien zombies’

Vlahides had become what many flight attendants unflatteringly call an “Ambien zombie.” But Vlahides was lucky. He hadn’t done anything too embarrassing, unlike other unlucky sleepwalkers.

A flight attendant who called herself “Betty” wrote about “The Streak” in a Yahoo article called “Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant: Attack of the Ambien Zombies.”

The streaker was a sleepwalking economy passenger who had taken off all his clothes and decided to run up the aisle to first class. According to the story, he was stopped by flight attendants and told to don his clothes; he only realized his humiliating exploit when he later woke with his underwear in his hand.

Flight attendants told similar stories to Mayo Clinic sleep specialist Dr. Lois Krahn during her research on inflight substance use and jet lag. Krahn tells her patients one disconcerting tale as a warning about the potential dangers of sleeping aids, especially if combined with alcohol.

“This trans-Pacific and business class passenger mixed alcohol and Ambien and then woke needing to relieve himself,” Krahn said. “He stood up and urinated on the passenger sitting next to him.

“Can you imagine how hard it was to calm down the business class cabin for the rest of the night?,” Krahn added with a chuckle.

Do people on sleeping aids really behave this way on a plane and not remember?

“It’s true, I’ve seen the pictures,” said Taylor Garland, spokesperson for the Association of Flight Attendants. “But I would say those are some pretty extreme circumstances. It’s not necessarily an everyday occurrence.”

More common on planes, said Garland, is for the dosed sleeper to reach out and fondle their unlucky seatmate.

‘Teflon’ brain

Ambien, or zolpidem tartrate, belongs to a class of drugs called sedative-hypnotics. Prescribed to treat insomnia for adults over the age of 18, it works by slowing brain activity.

“One of the normal side effects of Ambien is that it basically turns your brain into Teflon. You don’t lay down any new memories,” said Dr. Julie Holland, a psychopharmacologist who practices in Manhattan.

“And the other thing that happens is that you get sort of disinhibited, the way that you would if you were drunk or had taken Xanax or Ativan or Valium or something like that,” Holland said. “So you get very relaxed and disinhibited, and you don’t remember what you’re doing.”

If you’re in bed and asleep that’s not an issue. To ensure that, the manufacturer of Ambien has clear-cut safety information on its website: Don’t take Ambien more than once per night and take it just before going to bed. Don’t take Ambien unless you can stay in bed for seven to eight hours.

It’s tough to follow those instructions on a plane, Holland warns.

“You’re not really sleeping deeply because the lights are on, there’s people around and tons of interruptions by flight staff,” Holland said. “Or you may take the sleeping pill and not fall asleep, and then you are going to be in this altered state.”

That’s what happened to Vlahides on his transatlantic journey a decade ago. A friendly flight attendant interrupted just as he’d taken his sleeping pills to ask about his career as a travel writer.

“If she hadn’t been bored on an empty flight and kept me awake, I’m absolutely certain it wouldn’t have happened,” said Vlahides, who later wrote about the funny incident. “But she was wonderful and she was fun. Who can say ‘no’ to that?”

Embarrassing, even dangerous behaviors

Activities that can happen in an altered state include “sleep-walking or doing other activities when you are asleep like eating, talking, having sex, or driving a car,” according to the Ambien safety warnings, as well as “not thinking clearly” and “acting strangely, confused, or upset.”

Those behaviors make sense to Holland. “When people are disinhibited, anything can happen because you’re talking about basic primal instincts that are coming out. What are our basic instincts? To have sex and eat and sometimes to be aggressive.”

Travelers often make the possible side effects worse by combining them with tranquilizers and alcohol, said Dr. Rajkumar Dasgupta, an assistant professor at the Keck School of Medicine at the University of Southern California.

“The worst thing you can do is drink alcohol on a plane,” Dasgupta said. “You’re already dehydrated, you have a lot of travel fatigue, and on top of that you’re adding sleeping aids to it.”

Another factor: a preexisting sleep disorder. For example, it’s estimated that one billion adults in the world suffer from obstructive sleep apnea, a condition in which the throat muscles relax and your breathing stops and starts.

“When you’re in a plane, the air is thin up there,” Dasgupta said. “Even though they pressurize the cabin to 8,000 feet, it’s still going be thinner air, less oxygen. You don’t want to be on a sleep medication that will depress your respiratory drive.”

Sleeping pills can also affect women and the elderly differently, said Krahn.

“Ambien lasts about four to five hours for most people, a little longer for women, a little longer for older people,” she said. “They may not remember to collect their bags when the plane lands or leave things behind like a wallet or passport because they are not as sharp under the lingering effects of the sleeping pill.”

Ambien isn’t the only sleeping aid that can cause parasomnias, or unwanted behaviors that happen when transitioning between different stages of sleep. At times, those behaviors have had tragic outcomes.

Following reports of “rare but serious injuries and deaths resulting from various complex sleep behaviors,” the Food and Drug Administration decided earlier this year to require black box warnings on zolpidem (brand names Ambien, Ambien CR, Edluar, Intermezzo, and Zolpimist), eszopiclone (Lunesta), and zaleplon (Sonata).

Anyone who has experienced an episode of an odd sleep behavior while on one of these sleeping aids should discontinue their use after consulting with their doctor, the FDA said.

Sanofi, the company that manufactures Ambien responded to the issue of erratic behavior on planes by saying, “We encourage any patient prescribed a Sanofi medicine to work with their healthcare provider to ensure the treatment is taken properly.”

Tips for sleeping on a plane

What can a weary traveler do to avoid a sleepless overnight flight? Sleep specialists CNN spoke with offered five key tips:

1. Avoid pharmaceutically induced sleep

“It’s not something to be messing around with,” said clinical psychologist and sleep specialist Michael Breus. “Certainly you should never be taking a medication like that for the first time while in the air, because you don’t know how you’re going to react to it, or if it might interact with any of your existing medications.”

2. Try melatonin instead

“That’s my preferred option for an overnight flight,” said Mayo’s Krahn. “You want to take it when you’ve got enough time for it to take effect.”

Breus, who also recommends melatonin, said the time depends on the type of melatonin you choose.

“When you take it in a pill form, it has to go down to your stomach and then get up to your brain. That takes about 90 minutes,” Breus said. “If you were to take a tincture or a sublingual under the tongue, then you’re looking at 20 to 25 minutes, which is much more like an Ambien type of sleeping aid.”

Krahn recommends three milligrams of melatonin, and suggests sticking with the short acting version to avoid feeling groggy if awakened too soon.

“There are some people who will say, ‘I just can’t handle melatonin because I feel too foggy and I have some concentration difficulties,’” Krahn said. “If they awakened too early when the melatonin is still in their blood and in their brain, that’s probably a very real experience.

“So for someone who’s flying early evening or during the day, it may not match up with their circadian pattern,” Krahn said.

3. Limit alcohol

Alcohol interferes with sleep, said Breus, who has written several books on better sleep and writes a regular blog on the topic. It’s dehydrating and interferes with sleep rhythms, he said, thus keeping you in the lighter stages of slumber when onboard airplane noise and distractions can jostle you awake.

4. Pack a sleep kit

Breus said he doesn’t “wing it” when it comes to plane travel. He keeps a well-stocked sleep kit at the ready.

An eye mask is critical, he said, to block out unwelcome rays. Ear plugs, a well-designed travel pillow, a light blanket or sweater (for those airlines that no longer provide blankets), an audiobook and relaxing playlist makes his list, along with noise-cancelling headphones and water to stay hydrated.

5. Plan ahead

As much as possible, try to plan your sleep around the timing and purpose of your flight, Dasgupta said.

“Do you need to be alert right away?” Dasgupta asked. “If yes, then perhaps the lesser of two evils will be drinking caffeine in the morning before your meeting instead of taking a sleeping aid on the plane. Get out into the sunlight, get some morning exercise. Those are always winners.”

Try these tips, say experts, and you could avoid the fate of becoming another airplane Ambien zombie. Unless you enjoy embarrassing yourself, of course.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/07/03/sleeping-pills-and-planes-embarrassing-tales-from-35000-feet/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/07/03/sleeping-pills-and-planes-embarrassing-tales-from-35000-feet/

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if-this-is-a-woman · 7 years

Text

Rebecca Solnit: if I were a man

By Rebecca Solnit, www.theguardian.com

View Original

August 26th, 2017

Growing up, the author joked she was the perfect son: intelligent, ambitious, independent. How different might her life have been?

06.00 EDT Last modified on Wednesday 20 September 2017 05.26 EDT

When I was very young, some gay friends of mine threw a cross-dressing party. My boyfriend at the time, with the help of his mother, did so well that a lot of straight men were unnerved; they needed to know that the lust-inspiring, simpering siren in the tight slip was not compromising their heterosexuality. I was not nearly so convincing as a Rod Stewart-ish man with charcoal five o’clock shadow, and I was a little taken aback to realise that, to me, impersonating a man meant manspreading on the sofa, belching and scratching personal parts, glowering and cursing. There was a sense of not having to please anyone and not having to be likable that was fun, but it wasn’t necessarily someone I wanted to be.

I am old enough that girls weren’t allowed to wear trousers to school until midway through my elementary school education; that I remember a local newspaper columnist arguing in a grumpy panic that if women wore trousers gender would vanish, which he saw as a terrifying thing. I have worn jeans and shoes that are good for rough terrain for most of my life, along with lipstick and long hair, and being a woman has let me walk this line between what used to be considered masculine and feminine. But I have wondered from time to time what life would be like if I were a man. By this I don’t mean to aspire to, or appropriate, or suffer from gender dysphoria and the deeper issues around bodies, sexuality and sense of self that trans people contend with.

I like a lot of things about being a woman, but there are times and ways it’s a prison, and sometimes I daydream about being out of that prison. I know that being a man can be a prison in other ways. I know and love a lot of men, straight and gay, and I see burdens they’re saddled with that I’m glad not to carry. There are all the things men are not supposed to do and say and feel; the constant patrol on boys to prevent them from or punish them for doing anything inconsistent with conventions of heterosexual masculinity, those boys for whom, in their formative years, faggot and pussy – being not straight or not male – are still often the most sneering of epithets.

Back in the 1970s, when some men were figuring out how their own liberation might parallel women’s liberation, there was a demonstration at which guys held a banner that said, “Men are more than just success objects.” Perhaps as a girl, I was liberated by expectations that I’d be some variation on a failure. I could rebel by succeeding, while a lot of white middle-class men of my era seemed to rebel by failing, because the expectations had been set so very high for them. That had the upside of more support, sometimes, for their endeavours, but the downside of more pressure and higher expectations. They were supposed to grow up to be president, or their mother’s pride and joy, or their family’s sole support, or a hero every day – to somehow do remarkable things; being ordinary, decent and hardworking was often regarded as not enough. But success was available to them, and that was an advantage – and still is. We still have wild disproportions on those fronts; the New York Times reported in 2015 that “Fewer large companies are run by women than by men named John”. Among the top firms in the US, “for each woman, there are four men named John, Robert, William or James”.

Back when my mother was alive and well, I used to joke that my problem was that I was a perfect son. What my mother expected from me was, as far as I could tell, profoundly different from what she expected from her three sons. I used to joke that they were supposed to fix her roof; I was supposed to fix her psyche. She wanted something impossible from me, some combination of best friend confidante, nurturer, and person she could dump on about anything at any time – a person who would never disagree or depart. She lived about 20 miles north of San Francisco, where I’ve lived since I was 18, and I was willing to show up regularly, including holidays, Mother’s Day and her birthday, bring gifts, listen, be helpful in practical ways, while carrying on with my own life (I’d left home and become financially independent at 17).

As it was, she resented the opportunities I had that she felt she had not, starting with college, which she was not encouraged to go to, unlike her brother. This resentment is common, I think, between her generation and mine, and in some ways she saw my career as disrupting my proper role as her caregiver, or as a caregiver generally. I knew that the acceptable escape from being devoted to her was to devote my life to some other people – to get a husband, to have kids – rather than to be unavailable because I was working and living my own life. When I was young, she would recite to me the couplet “A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.” In her expectations was an undertone of: I have sacrificed my life to others; sacrifice yours to me.

I’m not a sacrifice, but my work was a source of conflict for others as well. I started college early, graduated early, went onward to the Graduate School of Journalism at UC Berkeley, where I took a degree just before I turned 23, worked for a magazine, left the magazine and inadvertently found myself a freelance writer, which is largely how I’ve earned my living these past three decades. I published a book at 30, and then another one – 20 to date.

Photograph: John Lee for the Guardian

Early on in my friendship with an older feminist writer who has written many influential books, we used to laugh about the guys we met who were upset that we had published so much. They seemed to feel that they had to be more successful than whoever they were attracted to; that somehow our creative work was an act of aggression or competition. I don’t think women approach men the same way (though a novelist once told me his ex-wife made him feel like a race horse she was betting on). We joked, “If I knew I was going to meet you I would have burned the manuscripts.” Or as I’d laugh later, “Do you think this book makes my brain look big?” Boys can be stigmatised as nerds and geeks, but they can’t really be too smart. Girls can, and a lot of girls learn to hide their intelligence, or just abandon or devalue or doubt it. Having strong opinions and clear ideas is incompatible with being flatteringly deferential.

What is confidence in a man is too often viewed as competitiveness in a woman; what is leadership in a man is bossiness in a woman; even the word bossy, like slut or nag, is seldom applied to men. A few decades ago, I knew a woman who was a world champion martial artist. Her husband’s family was disconcerted by the fact that he could not beat her up. They did not suppose he wanted to, but they presumed he was somehow emasculated by not being able to, by the fact that she did not make him feel mighty in this abominable way. He himself, to his credit, did not seem to give a damn.

As a girl, I would have liked to have my intelligence and intellectual labours regarded as an unmitigated good and a source of pride, rather than something I had to handle delicately, lest I upset or offend. Success can contain implicit failure for straight women, who are supposed to succeed as women by making men feel godlike in their might. As Virginia Woolf reflected: “Women have served all these centuries as looking glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size.”

I have met a lot of brilliant men whose spouses serve their careers and live in their shadows, and marrying a successful man is still considered the pinnacle of women’s achievement in many circles. Some of those women flourished, but not a few seemed diminished by their role as helpmeet and handmaiden, and if they got divorced, they divorced the identity they’d helped build and maintain. There have been so many women who stayed at home and raised the kids while men went off on adventures and pursued accomplishments. There still are. These straight men with brilliant careers and families – no one asks them how they manage to have it all, because we know: she’s how.

Ms Magazine’s first issue in 1972 published a landmark essay titled Why I Want A Wife. It’s an appalling list of all the things a wife might do for her husband and children, of a woman as a sort of self-managed servant. Even recently, one of my best friends told me he’s taken aback at the smiles-and-compliments response to his going about in public with his new son, as if taking care of his kid is some sort of optional special credit he’s earning. It’s as though everything fathers do, economics aside, is bonus; nothing mothers do is enough. This is one of the reasons why a woman might want to be a man (and why choosing to have children can mean something entirely different for a woman than a man, unless she has that still-rare thing: a partner whose commitment to the work is truly equal). Were I a man, or had I a woman as partner, I might have made very different choices about marriage and children.

Photograph: John Lee for the Guardian

One often hears statements implying that it’s generous of a man to put up with a woman’s brilliance or success, though more and more straight couples are negotiating this as more women become principal breadwinners or higher earners (and Leonard Woolf was exemplary in his support for his wife’s work, which outshone his own). But growing up, I knew that I was supposed to be the audience rather than a participant, or the centre of attention.

I’ve written before about men explaining things – about that dynamic in which some men assume they know when they don’t, and that the woman they’re talking to doesn’t when she does. A 2008 essay I wrote on the topic never stopped circulating, apparently because it resonated for so many women and maybe some men. The word mansplaining now exists in more than 30 languages, according to an article this year, and I realise that built into the idea is a dynamic in which women are eternally the audience. There are no signs that mansplaining is going away. An acquaintance recently told me, “A man once asked me if I knew of the Bracero program [for Mexican farmworkers in the US], and when I said, ‘Why yes, I wrote my undergrad thesis about it,’ he replied, ‘Well, I’ll tell you about it.’ I said, ‘No, I’ll tell you, fucker!’ And then the dinner party got weird.”

Like most women, even after the age when strangers demanded I give them a smile, I’ve had complete strangers come up to me to unload their theories or stories at considerable length, without reciprocity in the conversation, if conversation is the term for this one-way street. We know the reality of this from studies about how boys are called on more in school, and grow up to talk more in meetings, and interrupt women more than men.

In the 1990s the artist Ann Hamilton gave her students lightweight 4ft by 8ft sheets of plywood to carry around everywhere they went for a week. The exercise made them conscious of navigating space; they were awkward, forever at risk of bumping into people and things, probably offering up a lot of excuses. Success sometimes seems like that for women, an awkwardly large thing that is supposed to be in other people’s way and for which you might need to apologise periodically. The phrases sometimes used for men who partner with successful women – taking it in his stride, not put out by, OK with, dealing with, cool with – are reminders that female success can be regarded as some kind of intrusion or inappropriate behaviour.

What would it feel like to have a success that does not in any way contain failure, that is not awkward or grounds for apology, something that you don’t need to downplay, to have power that enhances rather than detracts from your attractiveness? (The very idea that powerlessness is attractive is appalling – and real.) Ann Hamilton has had a tremendous career, and some of it came from the sheer scale and ambition of her work from the outset, which seemed exceptional when she appeared on the art scene in the late 1980s. I remember all the women art students I met in that era, who made tiny, furtive things that expressed something about their condition, including the lack of room they felt free to occupy. How do you think big when you’re supposed to not get in the way, not overstep your welcome, not overshadow or intimidate? Ann wrote to me when I asked about that plywood assignment long ago: “I am still trying to break the habit of apologising for myself – even though I have little hesitation in asking for help on projects – asking for myself brings out the old, ‘Please excuse me.’”

Hillary Clinton during the presidential debate. She has talked about facing hostility at law school from men. Photograph: Julio Cortez/AP

I know things are changing, and younger women have different experiences, but women older than me have horrifying stories to tell, and we are not out from under that shadow. Supreme court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg says of her arrival at law school in the 1950s, “The dean then asked each of us in turn to say what we were doing at the law school, occupying a seat that could be held by a man.” Hillary Clintontold an interviewer a few years ago about meeting with similar opposition in the 1960s, from the young men who’d shown up to take the law school admissions test at Harvard when she did. One even accused her of being homicidal in her ambitions: “If you take my spot, I’ll get drafted, and I’ll go to Vietnam, and I’ll die.” He didn’t imagine she had a right to compete; or that the place that neither had yet won was no more his than hers. It’s not just trouble at the top: women plumbers, electricians and mechanics have told me about being treated as incompetent, intrusive or both in their field.

It isn’t hard to find contemporary horror stories of women who can’t wedge a word in edgewise at meetings, have their ideas taken up by others, don’t get promoted as they might if they were men, who get harassed and groped or, in the white-collar world, not invited to the executive bonding sessions. This year Silicon Valley has been haemorrhaging workers’ stories of sexual harassment and discrimination, and the gist of many is that the tech companies tolerate harassment more than they tolerate people who report it. Even this month a Google employee, in a now infamous screed, insisted that the deeply unequal landscape of Silicon Valley’s white-collar jobs is due to nothing more or less than men’s superior capacity.

We still have a long way to go. A young woman enrolled at a women’s college told me this summer she was thrilled to be in an intellectual habitat where no shining young men were going to dominate the classroom conversations the way they had in her high school; walking home across campus at 3am without thinking about safety was another pleasure. (Women do engage in sexual assault, but in numbers that are minute compared to those of men.) Women are targets in the online world, too; in a little experiment on Twitter last year, the journalist Summer Brenner borrowed her brother’s profile picture and turned her first name into initials – the harassment she had experienced online dropped to almost nothing. Women may aspire to be men just to be free from persecution by them.

If I were a man… I didn’t want to be someone else so much as I wanted, from time to time, to be treated as someone else, or left alone as I would be if I was something else. In particular, I’ve wanted to be able to walk around alone, in cities, on mountains, unmolested. You can’t wander lonely as a cloud when you’re always checking to see whether you’re being followed, or bracing yourself in case the person passing grabs you. I’ve been insulted, threatened, spat on, attacked, groped, harassed, followed; women I know have been stalked so ferociously they had to go into hiding, sometimes for years; other women I know have been kidnapped, raped, tortured, stabbed, beaten with rocks, left for dead. It impacts on your sense of freedom to say the least.

A small part of my consciousness is perpetually occupied by these survival questions whenever I’m outdoors alone, though there are a few places I’ve been – Iceland, Japan, extremely remote wildernesses where bears were the only menace – where I felt I didn’t have to think about it. Solitary walking is where a lot of writers – Wordsworth, Rousseau, Thoreau, Gary Snyder – got a lot of their thinking and composing done; I have, too, but it got interrupted both from outside and from this internal monitor, always thinking about my safety. I know that my whiteness tips the balance the other way with this; it lets me go places that a black person can’t, and the short answer to what my life might be like had I been born black would be: different in nearly every imaginable respect.

There are many stories of people cross-dressing not as self-expression, but for practical purposes, just as there are of people of colour passing as white. Deborah Samson and Anna Maria Lane are among the women who fought against the British in the revolutionary war dressed as men, and more women did the same in the Union Army during the civil war. The novelist George Sand used a man’s name to traverse the literary world of 19th-century France and then men’s clothes to traverse Paris. She wasn’t just hiding out from harassment, but putting away the treacherous shoes and yards of fabric that made it hard to walk through a city that was rough-surfaced and filthy. She traded those fragile things in for solid boots and sturdy clothes in which she could roam confidently in all weathers and times of day and night, and loved it. Sylvia Plath, born a century later, wrote in her journal when she was 19 that, “Being born a woman is my awful tragedy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.”

Supreme court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was asked at law school what she was doing ‘occupying a seat that could be held by a man’. Photograph: J Scott Applewhite/AP

Not a little of the stuff women wore, and still wear, is an impediment and a confinement. Some women evacuating the World Trade Center on September 11 did so barefoot, lacerating their feet because their shoes impaired their mobility. What is it like to spend a lot of your life in shoes in which you’re less steady and swift than the people around you? Some women wear tight clothes that hamper free movement, fragile clothes, clothes you can trip over. These garments can be fun and glamorous, but as an everyday uniform they’re often incapacitating.

Trans people have been remarkable witnesses to how differently the world treats them when they transition. I have read many stories of a woman finding that she no longer has the right of way but will be bumped into on the street; a man finding that he is no longer interrupted. Gender shapes the spaces – social, conversational, professional, as well as literal – that we are given to occupy. Who we are, I realised as I co-created an atlas of New York City, is even built into the landscape, in which many things are named after men, few after women, from streets and buildings – Lafayette Street, Madison Avenue, Lincoln Center, Rockefeller Center – to boroughs – nearby Paterson, Levittown, Morristown. The nomenclature of the city seemed to encourage men to imagine greatness for themselves as generals, captains of industry, presidents, senators. My collaborators and I made a map in which all the subway stops in New York were renamed after the city’s great women. Last year, when I discussed it with students at Columbia university (named after Christopher Columbus, of course), a young woman of colour remarked that she had slouched all her life; that in a city where things were named after people like her she might stand up straight. Another wondered whether she would be sexually harassed on boulevards named after women. The world is an uneven surface, with plenty to trip on and room to reinvent.

I like being a woman. I love watching and maybe smiling at or talking to kids I run into in parks and grocery stores and anywhere else; I’m confident no one will ever take me for a creep or a kidnapper, and I know that it would be more complicated if I were a man. There are more subtle advantages about the range of expression I’m allowed in my personal relations, including in my close, supportive, emotionally expressive friendships with other women – and, through all my adult life, my friendships with gay men, many of whom who have boldly, festively, brilliantly broken the rules of masculinity and helped me laugh at the gaps between who we are and who we’re supposed to be. Liberation is a contagious project, and growing up around people who took apart and reassembled gender helped liberate even a straight woman like me.

So I don’t wish I were a man. I just wish we were all free.

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