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littlx-songbxrd · 3 years

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Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

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flowersofjannah · 2 years

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salaam again sis it's me! again, appreciate your beautiful response and i do feel that i can confide in u even if it's on anon rn. honestly, i feel that after the uni guy situation im not so sure if i can trust myself/ my gut or any signs with if someone is the one, anymore. this upsets me as with the uni guy, he brought a strange sense of calmness and familiarity i hadnt felt before so naturally having accounted for that and other strange things i felt he was definitely the one. now that he's obviously married to someone else and things didnt work out even after i ensured to do things halal way from the outset, i cant help but doubt my choices - i had never been like this before but the uni guy situation has made me v wary about believing my gut when it comes to if a man feels like he might be the 'one'. hehe im glad ive found someone similar to me ^-^ i pray Allah also grants u someone who he thinks is best for you iA, u have such a pure soul sis. wrt the ring so i checked this v quickly and i believe he wasnt wearing a ring - actually i first checked this to be sure before letting my interest develop. if i saw a ring i wouldve shut down these thoughts there and then but ive been told that not all muslim married men wear rings so i dont want to become too hopeful just on this basis. i guess i'll see what happens on monday iA and if, like this week, Allah makes me encounter him this week etc too. it's strange bc i started noticing him since last week more even though ive been working at this place now for 2 months or so. i was talking to Allah about it and how i hope he doesnt come by the next day as i felt that i was thinking about him too much, then funnily the morning after he was the first person i saw and spoke to for the first time (just to ask if a room was free but still, i guess he knows i exist now lol), then even the day after i saw him twice. i saw him again before leaving on friday and ngl i did feel a little jealous when i saw him next to this other lady, and when i came by he didnt look up once. im sure he's not interested in me at all. he does seem veryyyy focused on just getting the work done, which is typical in the setting im in but i guess that's what i like about him from what ive observed. unlike a lot of (muslim) men here who talk unnecessarily to opp gender/ too much - he seems quite to the point and sort of goes off doing his own thing quietly. i've also seen him in the prayer room once before but that's all ik about his religious side. again, just to remind u he hasnt done anything specifically towards me to indicate he's eeven interested in me in the slightest. he probably just sees me as a new trainee who's started her first job and thats it, if he even remmebers me at all. anyway, im trying to be open about how things go either way iA but ive always hated being noticed/ talking to get noticed esp about things like these so idk if ill be able to build the courage to do so. i guess i still have a back up which is to ask the mutual colleague when theyre back in january - but from what ik this colleague doesnt know much about him either unfortunately and funnily the guy didnt even remember the mutual colleague even after a few encounters/ months of the colleague having worked there so idk. guess i just want my heart to be content with whatever at this stage. i really just hope to end up with a mature, loyal, calm, God-conscious man someday when Allah thinks best iA. I hope i'll be able to recognise him, and him, me

Wa 'alaykum assalam <3

Tbh sis, sometimes you don’t recognize “the one” from the start. I’ve heard multiple stories where people thought it wouldn’t work out and then they get married. My cousin is one of them, she wasn’t attracted to her now husband (I mean she didn’t think of him ugly, she just wasn’t inclined towards him i guess is a better choice of words) nor find him interesting in the first few talks, but the interest and all developed gradually. So you never know how he’ll come.

Do what you’re comfortable sis, either way if he’s for you, you’ll find him in front of you someday. If you wish to take a chance, go for it. If you don’t wish to and wish to take time to see how you feel/how he is, that’s fine too! See how you feel after istikhara about him and what happens, in sha Allah you'll get clarity.

I totally get your not trusting the intuition part, I feel that for myself also. I pray Allah gives you a kind, respectful, grateful man who only has eyes for you and will hold your hand all the way into janna. Someone who takes his deep seriously and will take great care of you with a heart of love, mercy, and compassion towards you, allahumma ameen.

I appreciate your updates sis, and I love the length of them. I love how you pour all of your thoughts out. I appreciate you talking to me. You’re so sweet 💗

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gayregis · 4 years

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blood and wine rewrite au basic layout

i already posted something like this before but i cant find the post so im just rewriting all of this from the top of my head

everyone’s repurposed roles:

geralt - he’s still a witcher. he’s geralt of rivia. obviously. i don’t have time or interest to think about how to rewrite the entire witcher 3 game to be lore-friendly, but i assume there would be less triss and more dandelion involved in it. for this let’s just take him as geralt having done everything in tw3 but with the personality of geralt from the books because geralt from the games doesn’t have much of a strong personality good for writing or thinking about.

regis - a bitch. nah jk. he’s same regis but just what he was like 100 years ago when he got his head cut off. he’s less spiralling-into-doom than he was then, and is less desperate and hopeless overall, but is slowly getting there once again. he doesn’t remember anything about learning from his mistakes and becoming a good person, because this regis didn’t get any of that. to this regis, it’s like no time has passed at all since he died, and he’s ready to start partying again without any thought of the consequences. he’s moved to toussaint because everyone’s already tipsy there and the north is plagued by war so it’s not a really great source to be drinking from (like if there was a sewage leak near the vineyard you sourced your wine from). he doesn’t remember anything about maturing up or about becoming a surgeon or about the hansa, so that sucks.

dettlaff - not a fucking maniac. actually a character geralt will likely spend a good amount of time talking to. total character overhaul because he does not have a personality in the actual DLC. he arrived in toussaint because he had heard that regis had returned and wanted to fix things wih him, he had previously left him.

syanna - not a fucking dumbass, yet still naive in her own way due to being blinded with the promise of power. in this, she is planning to stage a coup on the duchy (because she is the older sister, so it IS her right by law) and she supports regis’ slow dive again into uncontrollable insanity because it helps her prop up rumors that her sister’s reign is ineffective against real threats and is cursed. but this alliance does not go as she planned...

orianna - in this, she is the owner of a gladiatorial school (instead of an orphanage), and is still like in canon a wealthy and influential individual of beauclair, yet reclusive from human society. she is regis’ best friend and goads him on, because she never fixed her own issues with alcoholism and now is elated to have him back and forgetting that they had disagreements which drove them apart in the first place. they’re best friends (NO romance) and it’s just good to see how insanely different orianna and geralt are because they’ve both been regis’ close friends at different points in time.

the purpose of this:

fix regis’ relationships with the vampires. he slowly drove all of his good friends away by going off the deep end and many are likely wondering whatever happened to him. but books regis would never consider partying like that again, so we bring the party regis back and then slowly de-escalate him into normal books regis again, and we finally get closure with him and his old friends.

cool dramatic stereotypical vampire shit. i’m talking about a final battle or conversation in a giant dark castle with large open windows and billowing drapery.

regis’s hairstyle

give syanna actual agency as a character and give her motivations that extend beyond pure revenge (although they are related to revenge) and make her more unique so she is not just a ripoff of renfri.

demonstrate anna henrietta and geralt’s relationship as it was in the books. he was genuinely intimidated by her and i interpret him as being jealous of her relationship with dandelion, so he in practice was quite withdrawn around her as she was her overemotional and embellished self

give dettlaff an actual character, holy shit. i hate how sorely underdeveloped he is in the game. i understand why because it’s not meant to be writing, it’s meant to be a video game, but come on. i hate having the vampire with the cool character design be the ultimate villain of the whole narrative. in this, he’s someone geralt can talk to and sees himself in. he’s emotionally mature and doesn’t mix with the other vampires. since we already know what regis is like, we don’t have to sit through dettlaff making excuses for him and trying to describe what his character is like. we also get a better view of regis’ past through dettlaff’s lense.

give orianna an actual character, holy shit. i hate how they didn’t even try with her and just used her as a “surprise, she is quite evil!” gimmick. have her actually have a larder for blood that is lore-friendly yet still jumps out at the audience as morally wrong. give her more personality and development.

examine regis’ backstory without actually getting into every single year of those 4 centuries. we can examine how it started good, turned bad, went worse... there’s a lot of loss involved and i think this would be nice to process it.

roughly what happens (under cut because if i ever do write this fic out, this is spoilers, literally the synopsis of the whole thing):

anna henrietta sends envoys to geralt. they establish that the duchess has no conflict with geralt and that her conflict was with dandelion, only. she has requested his help because he effectively dealt with many monsters while he was in beauclair and established a trustworthy reputation (also, he’s famous, and toussaintoirs are superficial). instead of the beast of beauclair killing particular victims, it’s the countryside which has been plagued by vicious attacks of the devil knows what.

geralt arrives and examines the scenes of the attacks. the sincere majority of the victims are alive, so he speaks to them. they remember nothing, but woke up with their village fucking absolutely trashed and with vomit everywhere. they all have wounds on their necks. geralt thinks he knows what’s up, but is reluctant to deal with it because of his memories of regis, who he misses

damien de la tour is assigned to geralt as a sort of backup. they argue and geralt manages to get him to stay put in beauclair while he rides to a village they believe will be attacked next. it’s not even a full moon so the vampires don’t even come out in their bat form (disappointing) but instead just mesmerize their way in in humanoid form. dettlaff sneaks up on geralt who is (ahem) staking out the situation, and is like hey dont kill regis hes not evil hes just misguided!! and geralt is like REGIS? EMIEL REGIS? THTS WHO’S LEADING THEM? i ..... i know him.... and dettlaff’s like what the fuck how... then they get caught and regis is like oh hey dettlaff who’s this guy and geralt feels very left out :( and also sad bc regis doesnt remember shit and geralt even lists the hansa members by name and regis is still like O_O ok yeah im just going to hypnotize you to get lost ok goodbye! but dettlaff prevents him from doing this and they both get thrown out of the party.

after the party geralt is a mess and is like wtf so hes back and what... how... huh... and dettlaff doesnt know how he returned or why he returned either but they compare geralt’s knowledge of how regis died with dettlaff’s knowledge of how regeneration works and they figure out that regis just regenerated from his past body and that’s why he doesn’t have any of his memories from when he turned good.

then they eavesdrop a little more and find out that syanna has been talking to regis and making deals with him (its... not really like she thinks, regis really hasnt been doing anything he doesnt want to. shes just like “hey can you attack this village here” and regis is like yeah i was gonna host a party there tomorrow night ...) so they are like who the fuck is this woman and track her down to her base of operations, and then they find out that THEY got followed by damien de la tour, who identifies her as sylvia anna. geralt is a little miffed on behalf of dandelion that damien seems to be so close to anna henrietta but i digress.

geralt reports his findings to the duchess but does NOT mention regis because the duchess knows who regis is. then we get the same vampire talk from canon b&w where the duchess and damien are sorely misinformed on every single thing ever.

geralt is defeated and has no idea on how to fix this and hes looking hard into a mirror by candlelight and then decides to go to bed so he turns around and regis is right behind him like hey. cue ‘holy shit what the fuck’ moment and freaking out. regis explains himself and says that he doesnt remember him but the fact that he gave so many specifics weirded him out and he kind of wants to know more out of curiosity. also he wants to talk to dettlaff but feels too bad about how he argued with him like 3 centuries ago that he cant just ask him directly.

so they talk and geralt is all :(( and regis is like ok well. i kinda want to get these memories back because they sound pretty significant and also im pretty miserable. but also im not going to stop partying bc its the only thing that makes me feel alive rn. so long!

geralt and dettlaff talk to orianna and she dislikes them both but still talks to them and then regis materializes and also begins bothering them and its quite civil but this scene just serves to demonstrate how annoying they are as friends lol

there’s scenes where you can either save damien / syanna from being unalived by the vampires’ / regis’ hand, only if you let syanna die will the duchess be mad and accuse you of being heartless like dandelion is and then geralt and the duchess actually get into an argument bc of that comment but geralt ofc loses bc hes scared of her lol

no matter what you get regis his memories back but your decisions to either continue helping him or not is what makes him change or not. even after he gets his memories back (or because he gets his memories back?) he decides to raze beauclair bc hes just so fucking miserable and geralt has to talk him down, if you are harsh and not understanding and shame him etc then he doesnt change, if you condemn his actions but still offer your support then he does.

if you offer your support > geralt talks about the hansa like For Ever and regis then adds in everything and yay regis is back to normal. theres like a wholesome montage of geralt being like “just TRY to sew up a wound i promise you you will be good at it” and regis does and hes splendid at it. regis and dettlaff finally make up and are bros once again. we help orianna with her issues and she realizes stuff but is still going to have a drink once in a while. if syanna is alive she doesnt hate on any of this but just decides to make up with the duchess and then become captain of the guard (damien gets fired for being a dumbass).

if you do not offer your support > regis goes to cry in a delapidated creepy old castle and you have an epic fight (geralt is backed up by dettlaff) and he turns into a bat and geralt almost dies, they manage to decapitate regis again and put him in the ground and set a timer for 50 years

if you redeem regis then there’s an ending scene where the duchess is like “oh regis i didnt know you were in town” and hes just like <:) ahaha... yeah...

cue crying about milva/cahir/angouleme For Ever. maybe link this with the fic where geralt and regis bring them all back as ghosts/real ppl and then they have to deal with those consequences

#blood and wine rewrite au #regis #geralt #thoughts

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superhero-daugthers11 · 5 years

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Hadestown epilogue

*fan made of course! I own nothing. I have listened to the soundtrack over a dozen times, but have not YET seen the musical live. So I may be off on some of the visual stuff a bit.

*Eurydice sits by the wall with a little girl sitting aside her. The area where she sits is filled with green grass and flowers. Eurydice holds a guitar and smiles at the young child. The child had short black hair and pale skin.*

Eurydice: *singing* he fell in love with a beautiful lady

Who walked up above

In Persephone’s green field

He fell in love with Eurydice

Who was gathering flowers in the light of the sun

And I know how it was because

She was me

A man fell in love with a woman

Singing la la la la la la la

La la la la la la la.

*song done*

Pentha (child) : *spoken* that man was my dad!

Eurydice: *smiles* Yes! He lives in the world of the living, among the beautiful sun and green grass. He is a great man, a man who believed he could change the world with a song. He almost did... he tried to set the workers of Hadestown.

Pentha(child): Was he handsome?

Eurydice: *with sadness* The most beautiful man I had ever seen.

Pentha(child): He was a brave man too? You once told me how he stood up to Mr. Hades.

Eurydice: He is one of a kind.

*hermes enters*

Pentha: mr Hermes! *the child runs to Hermes and hugs him*

Eurydice: how’s Orpheus? Have you seen him?

Hermes: I bumped into him a few times on my runs. He’s...well the same, he gave me this letter for you. *holds out a piece of paper to her*

Eurydice: *smiles and quickly grabs the piece of paper*

Hermes: what does it say?

Pentha: Read it out loud mommy! I want to hear it!

Eurydice: dear, eurydice

I been traveling around the world and playing my song everywhere I go. I hitched a few rides on the trains for awhile. Then word spread of my song and people were inviting me to there towns to sing! They even been paying me! You should see the places I have seen: Paris, France, England! My music has brought such happiness to people. I have met people from all walks of life, rich, poor and everything in between. My song didn’t just have the power to bring back spring, it’s brought hope and done so much more!

I wish you were here to enjoy this with me and I wish I could hold you in my arms again. I love you so much and even with all that’s going right for me. Your really the only thing I keep thinking of. I miss you everyday and it becomes harder and harder to be without you. I been trying to keep positive, but knowing your in such a depressing place just breaks my heart further.

Forever yours, Orpheus

Eurydice: *crying* he needs to move on! I want him to be happy. Can’t you talk to him?

Hermes: I tried, he’s as stubborn as they came.

Eurydice: He doesn’t even know about the baby.

Hermes: If he knew, it would be too much for him. He might do something stupid, one can only handle so much pain.

Eurydice: I don’t understand, everything is going right for him. He’s making money, he has food, he brought back spring, and people want to hear him sing. Why can’t he let me go?

Hermes: Because you are his true love and once you find your true love....it’s hard to let go. The human heart is a strange thing.

Eurydice: Maybe if I don’t answer his letters he’ll move-

Hermes: Theres nothing you can do, it’s his choice to move on or not.

Eurydice: Well I have to try! It’s my fault he’s like this! If I was stronger, if I could have held out longer.... *sobbing* If I didn’t die, we would be happy...togther.

*in the living world. Orpheus stands in front of a big crowd in the middle of the town square.

Orpheus: *singing* la la la la la la la la la

la la la la la la

*the dead plants start to bloom by the homes and the grass goes from brown to green. The audience applauses and cheers.*

Orpheus: *singing* la la la la la la la la la

La la la la la la

*The Fates are seen in the audience.*

The fates: *singing* doubt comes in

And meets a stranger

Walking on a road alone

Where is she?

Where is she now?

Doubt comes in

Orpheus: *singing, as he leaves the crowd.*

Who am I?

Where do I think I'm goin'?

The fates: *singing*

Doubt comes in

Orpheus: *singing*

Who am I?

Why am I all alone?

The fates: *singing*

Doubt comes in

Orpheus: *singing*

When will I see her again?

Who was I to think she wouldn’t follow me home?

The fates: *singing*

Where is she?

Where is she now?

*end song*

Orpheus: *to the fates* what happened to Eurydice? Has forgotten me? She hasnt been writing... she told me she would write me. She promised she would never forget me!

The fates: Eventually everyone forgets who they used to be and there memories are replaced by their after life in Hadestown.

Orpheus: I know but I thought if I kept sending her the letters it would help her remember me. She can’t forget me! She can’t become like the others! I won’t let her! It’s my fault she’s still there, I couldn’t save her.

The fates: Things will unfold the way they are meant to regardless if you like it or not. Your fate have been set in stone from the moment you both were born. You were never meant to save her.

Orpheus: No your wrong! I can save her memories! I can at least do that! Has she forgetten everything?

The fates: not everything.

*Orpheus spots Persephone in the window of a tarvern. He runs toward it and goes in.*

*hermes walks up to the fates*

Hermes: Orpheus is a poor young boy. Why must this be his fate?

Fates: it’s how it was written.

Hermes: You fates aren’t too kind.

Fates: never said we were kind.

*inside the tavern*

*Orpheus runs up to Persephone.*

Persephone: Hey look who it is! Orpheus! *She is clearly drunk. She hugs him with one arm and takes a sip of beer with the other one. She then looks to the crowd of drunk men and woman surrounding her* Why don’t you play your song for these guys? I heard you performing outside, its still as beautiful as I remember.

Orpheus: Persephone, I need your help!

Persephone: I can’t help you get to her, if I could I would. Ever since you came, Hades had that wall built bigger and more sturdy. Nobody can get in or out.

Orpheus: Is it true she forgotten me?

Persephone: *laughs* Of course not! How could she with that baby at her side. It’s certainly a constant reminder of you?

Orpheus: A baby? What are you talking about?

Persephone: Well I guess she isn’t really a baby anymore, she’s almost four years old now.

Orpheus: Eurydice wasn’t pregnant....she wasn’t...she-she would have told me...She would have said something!

Persephone: *she takes another sip of her drink.*

*orpheus takes the drink from her hand*

Orpheus: Tell me the truth!

Persephone: *she puts a hand on his shoulder and they move away from the crowd and go outside.* I’m sorry, I thought you knew. I thought she would have told you.

Orpheus: what happened?

Persephone: Normally the fates inform Hades when a woman dies who was pregnant. Hades didn’t want children in Hadestown, he didn’t put children through the torment of Hadestown. Plus children bring problems. He doesn’t offer the deal to expecting mothers. With Eurydice the fates made a mistake, they told him she was not expecting and Eurydice didn’t know she was pregnant. Hades was furious, when he found out, he created a eruption and killed a whole city of Pompeii. Everyone town was amazed and in awe of the situation. It was a miracle! The workers began talking to each other, buzzing over the coming arrival. When it was the day of the birth, everyone gathered in astonishment, even some of the gods of Olympus came! The stood over the child’s bed, in disbelief. Oh she was beautiful! The most gorgeous thing I have ever seen! A little girl, so small, so pure and fragile...and her smile brought happiness to all that saw her. The workers played with her and protected her as if she were there own. She gave them purpose, something to care for. once She had rammed into Hades while playing and he just started yelling. ...but the most amazing thing the workers all stopped working and then stood up to hades. She’s changing our world, she’s doing what you couldn’t. Isn’t that great? While you help people here, she helps them down there.

Orpheus: She sounds amazing. But all this over a child that isn’t even theres? Why?

Persephone: She sees the good in everything and everyone. She finds happiness in the darkest, most miserable place in the world. She gives them hope.

Orpheus: what’s her name?

Persephone: Pentha.

Orpheus: *frowns* we always dreamed of having a family together...we had our whole lives planned out. I would bring back spring and then everything would be perfect. We would get married and travel the world. .... are they happy? Eurydice and Pentha?

Persephone: I think so. Orpheus, you have something that all those people in Hadestown would kill for. You get to live and you could live a full and happy life if you would let yourself.

Orpheus: I can’t...Not without her. I have tried, I have! Nothing is the same without her.

Persephone: Well what she wants more than anything is you to be happy and for you to move on. You know, you have a great gift! not just your song, but your heart and your courage. You can do great things if you let yourself.

Orpheus: I can’t, she’s always on my mind and in my heart. Now knowing that she had my kid, how could I move on? She can’t. Pentha doesn’t have a father. She deserves to have a dad like any kid does. To have two parents who love her and watch out for her. She -

Persephone: Orpheus-

Orpheus: My dad wasn’t there for me and I hated him for it. I promised myself I would never abandon my kid! She’s gonna grow up never knowing me!

Persephone: it’s not the same, it isn’t your fault.

Orpheus: IT IS MY FAULT! I COULDNT SAVE HER!! I didn’t trust that she would be behind me and I looked and she was.

*orpheus cries*

*persephone hugs him*

Persephone: Anyone in your place would have done the same thing, Hades knew that.

*the scene changes Orpheus sits alone in a bedroom. He takes a knife from under his mattress and stabs himslef in the heart.*

*Orpheus sees the railroad station to Hadestown. When he gets off the train he sees Eurydice working along with the others on the wall.*

Orpheus: Eurydice!

*she looks up and sees him*

Eurydice: *with tears in her eyes* Orpheus.

*He runs to her with tears in his eyes and hugs her then kisses her lips*

Eurydice: are you-?

Orpheus: yes.

Eurydice: h-how?

Orpheus: ....I couldn’t live without you.

*Eurydice hugs him as she cried.*

Eurydice: Im sorry!

Orpheus: I’m not, *he grins hugely* I’m here with you. Oh I missed you so much! *he kisses her again*

Eurydice: *sadly* I wanted you to be happy to live out the dreams you had of changing the world.

Orpheus: you are my biggest dream and spend eternity here with you is more than I could ever want.

Eurydice: i love you. *she put her hands on his cheek and kissed him passionately*

*a playground ball rolls by Eurydice and Orpheus. Pentha runs over to get it. As she picks up the ball she looks up at the strange man holding her mother in his arms.*

Eurydice: *she looks down* Orpheus there’s something I have to tell you. I didn’t know how to say before-

Orpheus: I know about Pentha, persephone told me.

Eurydice: Pentha, this is your dad.

Pentha: *smiles big then immediately hugged him*

Orpheus: *singing*

You take me in your arms

And suddenly there's sunlight all around me

Everything bright and warm

And shining like it never did before

And for a moment I forget

Just how dark and cold it gets

Eurydice: *singing*

All I've ever known is how to hold my own

But now I wanna hold you

Orpheus and Eurydice: *singing*

Now I wanna hold you, hold you close

I don't wanna ever have to let you go

Now I wanna hold you, hold you tight

I don't wanna go back to the lonely life!

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flower-of-the-desert · 5 years

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How do you feel about Sizzy? Personally, I️ don't like it because of Izzy's views on/treatment of downworlders and so I️ feel like her dating one would be kinda problematic, but I️ would be really interested in hearing your opinion on the matter.

I agree.

Honestly, I have a lot of issues with s*zzy, both on a character level and plot level and purely as a personal preference.

Starting from the last one, I just dont find the idea of them interesting. There’s nothing in their dynamic that grabs me. I dont particularly like the trope of hot girl gets with the nerdy guy or the pair the spares trope. I feel like they were only put together because everyone else from the main cast was paired off so they were the only ones left single and as we know, the biggest curse for a fictional character (especially a woman) is being left single. *eye roll*

Then as you said, there’s the character problem. I’ll be frank, I can hardly stand both Simon and Izzy as individual characters most of the time so this doesnt help my feelings towards them as a couple. Izzy’s treatment of DWs is terrible, yes, made worse by the fact that she is never called out for it and her flaws are never addressed. And now after the hot mess that was her and Raphael (which more or less tipped me off into hating her so thanks for that, writers), I’m expected to believe Simon is the better option? Or that her getting together with another vampire when she’s got addiction problems is a good idea? Or that Simon went from being in love with Clary to being in love with Maia to now presumably being in love with Izzy in the span of what? A month? A week?

Which brings us to my third issue - the plot. S*zzy isnt a slow burn. Their relationship hasnt had any development or deepening of feelings these past two seasons. Simon and Izzy have shared like a couple of scenes here and there which were entirely friendly in nature and had no indication of some lingering feelings or whatever. In that time they have had serious relationships with other people which had no impact on their own relationship with each other one way or another. That’s not a slow burn ship. It’s like the writers forgot or didnt care for them as a couple and then suddenly remembered they were a thing in the books so now they’re throwing them together last minute to check that box.

And the last thing is that I’m 99% sure this is going to fuck over Maia somehow and I’m not here for that. They already did that by writing Maia out of the finale in the worst and most cliched way possible in order to give Izzy her role of comforting Simon so I can only imagine how they’re gonna end Simon/Maia to make room for S*zzy. Maia has already been fucked over by the narrative enough, I dont need this crappy situation on top of everthing else.

So yeah, those are my thoughts on it overall. I wish they wouldnt stick to book canon on this one but there’s no way they’re not gonna have all three of the main couples present on the show so yay? Not. I wish they had done a better job of developing this relationship of they intended to make them canon in the end but then again, I say that about all of the relationships on the show so 🤷‍.

#anti sizzy #my sh posts #Anonymous

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years

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oh yeah since my whole long text post got away from me the way all of them always do, i end up at the end of fourteen paragraphs being like “wait did i get to this basic point in any of this or forget it b/c i went off on a dozen tangents” but its def strange to look at this as a Break for them, and as something they Needed to have happen, and as something directly based on their relationship at all. like where they were as a Thing was at its most chill and comfortable point ever really.....but that doesnt mean their lives were perfect and they were satisfied w everything? b/c this stuff is way more about them individually....like their own personal issues and their own dissatisfactions w things in their lives. like any particular relationship in someones life doesnt (and shouldnt) define their entire life and happiness......you can still have things as individuals you want/need to work out for your own sake to be happier w your life overall, and thats whats happening here. neither lars or sadie was happy being stuck working at the big donut, both being pretty socially isolated, both feeling negatively impacted by the pressure they felt from how ppl around them perceived them, neither seeming to have ever had the chance to be in an ongoing situation in which they can personally thrive and feel positive about the role they get to play, and other stuff i guess i did just make an overly long post abt last night. THATS the stuff these arcs are addressing for them (and that the shows been addressing for their characters the whole time really), their relationship didnt have anything to do with that stuff b/c them being together wasnt ever The One Thing they needed to find happiness and fulfillment in every single part of their lives smh.........there’s no way that them just “getting a break” from kinda? dating? was what they needed to suddenly make a burst of progress/development in these totally personal aspects of their lives. or even that they needed a break to be happy w their relationship...honestly they were doing fine. yes, being happier in any part of your life usually makes things slightly easier than across the board misery, and yes personal, individual development/change will have an effect on a relationship, what with a relationship being comprised of 2+ individuals and all. but everything that lars and sadie have ever done and experienced hasnt been solely for the purpose of their relationship. and the Pretty Alright place they seemed to be in re: each other wasnt like....What Needed To Change for them ffs its such a weird way to look at it and really like. nobody should think that a relationship means “something that means your whole life is perfect now and thus no part of it can/should change” or “something that means you consider yourself 100% personally fulfilled”.......ppl should support their partners as individuals and not just strictly re the relationship, e.g. pursuing their own interests, focusing on their own problems even if they dont strictly affect the relationship. like, its not even a full step away from “your one relationship should bring you all the happiness you need in life and ultimately nothing else matters / you should completely shrug off all your own personal needs cuz they shouldnt feel like a big deal to you anymore” to the kind of fuckery shitheads will assert to make points like that their partners shouldnt need friends / anyone else to talk to / any other social interaction at all and nothing less than purely selfless sacrifice of their own wants & needs means theyre a bad partner harming the relationship and other person its so weird to say like. honestly they’re just physically separated by billions of miles or something, clearly they are still fond of each other in the same way as before they left? and are not like, mentally stepping away from how they feel about the other person? just b/c neither of them are like, exclusively mourning the absence of the other doesnt mean they’ve cast off their relationship for a bit. lars is trying to freakin not die again and get himself and the other off colors to earth, & sadie is just like, still doing things because lars isnt there to do shit with and nobodys entire life is This One Thing. its obv good that both of them got to quit the big donut, even if only one of them got to do so voluntarily—cuz obv really the only plus side was working with your bud & they wouldve had to quit mutually. and it’ll probs be nice for lars that like, he’s still the same person and deeply insecure in how everyone thinks of him, and is right now—b/c she isnt there—having to completely trust that sadie still likes him and misses him, and he’ll get to have that confirmed when he gets back. its not like any of this is like distinctly compartmentalized into Not Affecting Their Relationship vs Exclusively Affecting Their Relationship....i’m so.....like do we have to do everything ourselves? do we have to do a 27hr presentation every month to make points to ppl who apparently dont really give 3 sec of thought to the dnads once over the course of the series. like damnit i know i’m out here putting four days of thought into any 36second appearance of theirs, but why are other ppl apparently watching entire sets of eps about them w/o gaining like...any info abt their characters amateur hour im saying....... also like. just weird to see anybody talk abt lars and sadies relationship At All b/c usually all you see is shit from way back in the day when ppl were like wow. abusive....disgusting... (which is just an especially precious, cherished moment of life when you have really experienced abuse and get to see ppl applying the word to mean like, “conflict / tension,” “bad decisions,” “hurting someones feelings,” etc....) or when you get a nice Cute Moment in an ep & the rest of us are like omg 😩 These Donuts.... like you can’t just frivolously invoke lars n sadie’s Relationship Development in front of me like this and expect me to not have a wholeass speech about it lmao!! I’ve Been Here!!!!!!!!!

#another Quick Essay....i really have no restraint with these kinds of text posts........#donuts #long post xoxo ✨

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ohkimani · 6 years

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my heart as of now.

my amazing best friends understand my need for space. like the cat i am, being unbothered is usually best for me. but they show their affection in the most amazing ways and i never go a day without reminding them all how grateful i am to them for being in my life.

we enjoy watching each other grow in every way, like the daisies we are, and discover our strengths. we feel everything just like anyone in their 20′s should. we drink too much wine, trust the wrong people and laugh at the wrong parts of jokes sometimes. every thread used to stitch us together is another story of mayhem and, if we tell it, ‘the funniest shit ever’.

my beautiful mother. her soft voice of reason on the other end of the line, my lifeline most days. sternness in her name, karen, and in her will to make me understand that things will not always be okay but they will get better. passionate in her teachings of loving all but not at the risk of losing myself. she will always be my lighthouse.

and taylor, the sister i never had (nor asked for tbh) but somehow low key got anyway. i think i say enough about my appreciation for her in my life on a daily basis.

all of these amazing people i find myself smothered in love by some days, in the best way, are the threads that keep me together. like any normal person, i have had my loose threads which obviously have had to be snipped and trimmed to keep myself from getting caught on things. but with these beautiful strings that have laced together my better and stronger parts, i walk light footed through my worst days.

however, as of late, i have had to personally deal with the only human being i have ever legitimately grown a toxic disdain for. and i live with her. this isnt something that has just suddenly happened over night, this pure hatred for her has seeped in through the cracks i have yet to fill in my soul. i reached my wit’s end with her recently when i wanted to enjoy the release of ‘call it what you want’ in my living with my other roommates, before politely asking “do y’all mind if i play this out loud for a second” to which ‘go ahead’ was the general consensus.

throughout the entire song, she not only decided she wanted to talk over it but continuously remind me how much she does not like taylor or her music. this is something she does a lot but hasnt done in a while, which was why i was so frustrated with the sudden need for her to express these feelings once again. she continued on her rant until i finally paused the song, looked her in the eye and asked her “who fucking cares what you think?”

im not an aggressive person but after just about two years of having to deal with everything she has done to make me angry, cause my best friend to have a mental breakdown and subsequently move out for the sake of her well being, and send her own roommate(s) crying to me about how unbearable she is, i had lost it.

i raised my voice, which i never do. i ripped into the core of her being with every word until she cried. even when she was crying i continued to batter every part of her character. the seething words that left my lips were so unlike me, i had to make an urgent appointment with my therapist because i was worried about the person i became when she sent me over the edge like that. it was concerning.

it has been almost three weeks now since that night and after it happened, i removed and blocked her on every form of social media....even email. after discovering i had blocked her on instagram, she texted my other roommate who i was having lunch with at the time and said “i dont know how you can be friends with that dumb bitch” these words still ring in my head. with that, i decided it was time i finally spoke to her calmly about that night. the conversation pretty much consisted of her telling me she was hurt by me yelling at her and me saying everything i said to her that night, with a quieter voice.

i sat down with her and had an entire bullet pointed list of things that i have had to say and would clearly express to her. i told her, to her face, as calmly as possible “for you to make me angry enough to purposely want to hurt you....for you to hurt me and the people i love enough for me to want to make you cry, you have to be an awful person. never in my life have i experienced the rage your entire being makes me feel”

she cried again. but this time, behind my back, she has continued to try to isolate me in my own home. she has turned one of my roommates against me, telling her im some crazy unstable bitch and has tried to do so with the only other person i used to feel safe enough to even look at here.

i was having an amazing time with my friends today, watching them work out at practice and finally introducing myself to the new coaching staff when the sudden realization that i would have to come home and rest my head in a place where i feel so despised, misunderstood and demonized made me break down inconsolably in front of my friends. the thought of walking into a space i dont feel im welcome in, where i am supposed to live for so many more months is so horrifying that the anxiety has brought me to tears every day for the last two weeks but today being the worst. i am not in a good place physically. not in the slightest.

im so grateful for my friends offering to let me kick it at their apartments until as late as i need to because even though they dont understand how i feel, they know that for me to react that way to anyone must mean they arent decent in the slightest.

i spent the majority of the afternoon and evening at different places and my best friend walked me all the way into my room so i didnt feel too on edge coming home by myself. i hate it here so much. i hate it with my entire being. this girl is so terrible in every sense of the word and i know im not crazy. im not insane. im not unstable. i have never been in a better place mentally and emotionally in all my life. the horrible things she has said about me to other people i live with attribute to my shunning is so painful and i have no idea how im going to survive this situation. i dont know if it’s going to get better. i dont know how much worse it’s going to get in the future. she doesnt deserve to ruin my peace of mind and she so dense and i cant force awareness on the incompetent.

i am not okay but everything else in my life is fantastic and i could never be more grateful for the beauty that is the relationships i have with people who have never made me feel this way.

#sorry this is long #p #i needed to write this #long post #to delete

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virginia-werewoolf · 7 years

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Hello to all!!! It’s been a crazy few months and I haven’t had the time to really go on Tumblr much less post about everything going on in my life but i am going to today!!

I’m currently finishing up my senior year of high school and lemme tell u - it’s been wild!!! But so fun. This last Relay for Life was probably my favorite one yet & I wish I could just have one more. When I went my freshman & sophomore year I was still so, so shy and only talked to people I already knew. This year, though, I talked to the new speech & debate kids and they were some of the sweetest people I have met in high school!! I always get so nostalgic for speech and debate when I am around the newer kids in the club. I can’t lie - being in that club was the only time throughout my whole high school experience that I felt as though I was a part of something good. I quit because it did stress me out a bit and I wanted to join photography my sophomore year and just always kind of found an excuse not to go back after that (even though I always knew I should’ve). Prom was nice - we ate at the Venetian and danced our lil hearts out at Panis Hall. I felt moderately pretty. I got into an argument with my best friend, Vincent, that night - he’s been a real dick lately & I couldn’t put up w it anymore that night in the Red Rock parking lot!!! I have been holding a few grudges against him since then but this weekend I have gotten some time to think it over for the first time & I think I’ve made my peace with him!! After prom was the Disney trip - which has been a WILD ride for a few months now. There was a lot of fishy business going on w the stuco advisor but finally - LITERALLY 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE BUS LEFT - I got a seat on the bus!!!! I wasn’t ready at all because I didn’t want to pack a bunch & get excited just to end up having to go to math that day - but I had such a good time in my bummy school clothes & 2 best friends!!! Even if I didn’t get to take pictures and we didn’t get to finish exploring California adventure because we were all grumpy and tired. The bus ride with Vincent was so fun and I didn’t really think about all the things I was upset at him for. On the 24th, then, we had grad walk AND senior awards!! I did the travel grad walk with Ni-Ni and we got to go to our elementary and middle schools + pat diskin in our caps and gowns with all the current students lining the halls cheering us on!! It was so pure. The elementary schoolers were so so so cute n proud of us & it was the first time it rly set in that this is happening!!! Plus I saw my 4th grade teacher and she remembered me BY NAME. I foreal cried on the way back to the bus bc of it. Awards night was nice too - I sat next to a kid I hadn’t talked to since middle school but it wasn’t awkward and we made jokes to each other all night!! It was kinda cute. Like it really felt like we were all in this together. I luvvvved cheering on my friends & just other kids in my classes who I may not talk to much but it still feels like we’re on the same boat supporting each other!! I got my Ronald Mcdonald award that night + my hispanic educator award (two scholarships totaling $1500!!!!) I also have to go to a HUGE district wide ceremony & read part of the speech that won me the hispanic educator award the day after graduation!! Yikes but I’m excited. I think that’s basically all the senior events left except maybe the senior bbq??? But that’s not a big deal. I’m not sure if there’s a senior sunset and I know I posted about being upset that I didn’t go to senior sunrise but on the bus ride home from Disney, I woke up for a split second and saw the sunrise over the California desert with my best friend sleepin next to me, his arm latched onto mine & maybe that’s enough.

BUT YEAH. IM FUCKING GRADUATING. My checkout card is signed !! My 7th grade english teacher who i am super close to has her flight booked !!! Can u believe it!!

Work-wise, I was having a really hard time for a while. I was desperately looking for another job & was about to transfer because the theatre made me want to kill myself!!! My exs friends and my managers were talking so so so much shit abt me. They said some of the worst things they couldve possibly said about me - and were so condescending at a time where i was extremely insecure because i was hung up over a boy that treated me like shit & had just lost so many friends. I couldnt even imagine staying until summer - but the universe helped me out and made it so that 2 of my most condescending managers transferred & i stopped getting scheduled so much with my exs friends and things just got… better. I stopped crying everyday - or any day - at work and actually turned down an interview because i figured id just wait until july to look for another job (thats how long im required to stay at my current to qualify for a 10k dollar scholarship i think i have a good shot at getting!!). I dont feel trapped and dread going to work anymore anymore and its so so so relieving. For a second there, it really had such a strong hold on my life and im so glad thats over. It was not healthy at ALL

Driving wise - ive been driving a lil bit a few days a week now and im really enjoying it !! It is not as scary as i thought itd be. I still have a lot to learn but i think im doin pretty good + i have 3k saved up for a car & im so excited !!!

This summer is also gna be super fun - im gna throw so many parties bc all of my bffs are leavin im august for college + spend a week explorin LA w my sister which im so excited abt !!! Im super broke atm bc i had to borrow a bunch of money from my mom for grade nite & am trying to pay it back asap but hopefully any grad money will be enough to cover it so i can buy books n cute knick knacks freely while im on vacay!! Especially since my body decided to hit a second fuckin puberty this winter & none of my summer clothes fit me anymore :( ive been dressing so bummy lately bc of it but ive been too busy to care. I gotta get clothes b4 going to LA tho!!! Other than that though i really just want this summer to be abt me. I feel like even tho i KNOW i need time to myself, i always try to get the most out of literally ANY possible relationship in my life :( its such a bad thing but i hate passing up opportunities like that bc what if, u know? To love and be loved in return is what I always thought i wanted most in this world!!! But i think i just need to consider where situations like this are really going before i compromise the time i set aside to work on myself for it. SO unless i can really see something going somewhere, this summer is goin to be about reading, writing, filming, and taking care of myself !!! I want to eat better (vegetarian & vegan whenever possible!!) and exercise and take care of my skin and just get shit done in general (maybe learn to knit finally???) Im even gonna start a bullet journal!!! I think it will help keep me feelin like myself as well as stay productive & organized in college + its just such a cute hobby Not to mention my sister is ENGAGED?????? My BEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! I will save the sappy stuff for later posts/my maid of honor speech but she really deserves this more than anyone. It hurts to see her movin out after 18 years of sleepin 10 feet away from her - if it were any earlier than this i wouldnt have been able to handle it - but im excited to be independent & im sure we’ll be sendin each other funny memes and visiting each other 24/7!! She is my best friend after all, and im just so happy to see her happy that i cant even be that sad abt losing our early morning laughs and late night talks - at least not yet!! Maybe it just hasnt set in yet

#personal #update: theres no senior sunset my school sucks

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weannoyingbouquetgalaxy-blog1 · 6 years

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cheap temporary car insurance for young drivers

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Do you get your credit checked for car insurance quotes?

""Car Insurance help, UK?""

i have been driving for 1 year in New Zealand, i dont have a full NZ license, but a restricted. i am now in the UK and want to know how much i will be paying for insurance roughly. i have just passed my uk driving test, so im basicly a new driver. Please Help""

How do I get Health Insurance?

I just turned 21, and I no longer under my parents health insurance. I do my own taxes, and my residency on my taxes is in California. However, I go to a private college out of state. I don't have any chronic disease but I would like to get some tests done and I need a vision plan as well. My parents don't help me pay for anything, and I can't afford to pay $100 a month for privaet insurance. I'm not pregnant, blind, disabled, or anything. Can I get government plan insurance (cheap) if I'm a student? Where should I apply?""

""Forgot to renew my car insurance, is my no claims bonus affected?

My insurance was due on 15th October but because km away at uni and the car is at home I completely forgot to renew it until today. If I decide to renew it now are there any consequences for paying it late? I would declare sorn but I don't know how it works and When I go home for christmas I do want to be able to drive. I've got 3 years no claims and my insurance has gone down a lot since I started to drive so will I lose it?

I got car insurance and it allows me to drive other peoples cars on my insurance?

if i were to buy another car, 2nd car will i be able to drive that without registering to any insruance company? i wont be selling my 1st car, it will still have the insruance, and the insruance it has allows me to drive other cars, but im not sure if the other cars also need insurance from a company""

Can I my Dad's car without being on his insurance?

I am a 17yr old student living with my parents and i have just passed my driving test. Everyone keeps saying i can drive my Dad's car once he is in the passenger seat, but i am not sure. My dad has insurance on his car, but i am not a named driver. So can i drive my dad's car if he his in the passenger seat, without being named on his policy.""

'occasional driver' Car insurance?

Hi, I'm 18 and I'll be heading off to college in the fall and so won't be home very often. However when I am home I'd like to be insured on my dads car. I don't see the point in having to pay the same price for car insurance as someone who drives almost daily, so I wanted to know if there was a type of car insurance for the 'occasional' driver. I'll only be home on vacations, and even then I won't be driving all the time, but I really need a car insurance for when I do drive, mostly summers.""

Cheap car insurance..?

I need to know a cheap place around here that is under $80 for three people. I tried looking it up, but where I am staying at right now the Internet sucks on my phone. I'm 20, my parents are over 50. And we live in Cleveland, Tx So, I guess what I'm asking is if someone can look up a cheap place for me.""

How much should one spend on their first car?

Here is the problem. I am a photographer who photographs rural areas, but I can't stand not living in the city. I don't drive, cause I live in Chicago and I thought I hated driving. I think I just hated drivers ed. SO now I want to drive everywhere and work more often instead of waiting until I can find someone to drive me around. I am obviously going to be road tripping a lot, and this is my first car. I need something with great MPG. I live in Chicago, but my mom lives downstate, although I'd like to share it with her. I'm thinking either a used prius, mini cooper, or volkeswagon. I'm 19. What do you think would be the best choice, and what costs am I looking at for insurance, ect?""

What is the cheapest car insurance in New York?

What kinds of insurance should I have when you own your own home and are married.?

Please note I am confused about exactly what insurance does what , which ones are actually important. Presently we have a whole life policy insurance, a morgage insurance. Do we need another?""

Isn't $300/mo TOO much for car insurance?

So my BF is planning on purchasing his first car, a 2012 Honda Civic EX Coupe, and he's trying to get a plan with USAA, but the quote says he'll be paying 300 monthly for insurance which is basically another car payment. What's the deal?""

How much would insurance group 7 be?

would just like an estimate how much insurance group 7 is

At 19 i got my health insurance removed.. what should i do now?

Well my sisters and i had medical. they still do their younger than me. When i turned 19 they removed me. I have been using the one i get through my job. But now their an opening for a job i really want thats with the city animal shelter. it doesnt offer healthcare im upset. what options are there for me if i do get the job and actually decide to go. are there places i can go for health insurance maybe low income i cant afford anyhting expensive. I feel stuck in my job it has healthcare but ive been doing the same thing for 3 years there hasnt been openings for a higher position where i work, im just tired. I need some feedback thank you. I live in California so if anyone knows something about this let me know thank you :)""

Will my auto insurance rate be raised if I have liability only and my car got stolen?

My car got stolen. Will my rates go up? I won't have another car for a few weeks and i'm going to have to get comprehensive. I just wonder if my comprehensive rates will be now more expensive.

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Full or Limited Tort with no car or insurance?

I was in a single car accident in March. My car is not drivable and I am donating it. I want to cancel my insurance on the car and my agent said that I would have a lapse insurance which would make it more expensive for me to get insurance in the future. I live in PA and also wonder that if I no longer have car insurance does that mean I have limited tort if I'm passenger in someone's car or get hit while walking. I'm currently driving my mother's car which is registered and insured in DE I have concerns as to my liabilty and hers if I were to be at fault in an accident in PA. Doing some research today has just made me more confused.

Whats the cheapest car insurrance?

I am an 18 year old single male. I have one claim that is my fault. This brought my insurance up about $100. I have statefarm, but everyone suggest I look around for some place cheaper. I don't have full coverage, just liability. Any suggestions? I have a four door 1996 Volvo 850. Anything will help. Thanks.""

Should I take off full coverage and just get liability insurance on my car?

I have a 2001 Ford Taurus worth around $5k according to kbb.com. Should I take full coverage insurance off of the car and just get liability? I am not accident prone (though I ...show more

Best car for me (47 year old male)?

What is an insurance premium?

Is the insurance premium what you pay monthly for your insurance?

How much does your motorcycle's insurance rise when your bike has been stolen?

I'm asking this question for a friend who had some filthy chavs take his bike last weekend. It was a Yamaha XVS125 dragstar, so his insurance would have been quite cheap anyway but I was wondering how much more he will have to pay when he gets a new bike. Ideally if this has happened to you can you tell me ... how much your insurance was before (and if your license had points etc) and how much it was when you got a new bike. Thx""

""What the best private insurance in colorado, for a pregnet women?""

What the best private insurance in colorado, for a pregnet women?""

How much will car insurance be?

Im 17 and im 18 in september and i have a renaut Clio Grande year 2000 X reg, 1.2 litres. Ive got quotes off of compare sites for 4000 a year yet i feel this is ridiculous? I have heard of friends getting it for 2000ish. Where do i find or get these cheaper insurance deals? Will it go down at 18?""

Car insurance help needed?

For reasons I do not want to discuss here, my car has not had auto insurance on it for about a year, it has not been driven only set in my garage. I am trying to get insurance on it again so I can drive it again, but because I put I have not had insurance for a year the monthly payment is not manageable, if I put that my last policy ended a week ago and get a policy online will I need to show proof of this or is there another way to get insurance and not have to pay such high premiums?""

What is the cheapest car insurance agency???

Why are my car insurance quotes changing?

I shopped for car insurance yesterday. Today I could not remember if I I forgot a company, so I did them all again because I was bored, all of my quotes went up with some, went down with others. I double checked and I didn't change any info. So I did 3 companies within 10 minutes of each other, and they changed again! I think they pull quotes out of a hat.""

Why is car insurance for girls cheaper than for guys??

funny.. Each time i notice a careless/reckless driver, its a female.""

Lease- car insurance rate?

What is the ball park range of car insurance for an 17 year old girl leasing an Acura TL? say 2004?

What exactly is broad form coverage for car insurance?

my insurance ran out. i dont really need a full coverage on car insurance since my car is old. I have a lifetime medical insurance. Im a pretty confident driver.

Auto Insurance for Military?

My older brother is wondering if he could get cheaper insurance if he went on an auto insurance policy with me. Im active duty Marine Corps if that helps. I don't get much spare time, so any help on this would really help, thanks.""

Is there a big jump in insurance between a 600cc sports bike and 650cc?

I see a lot of bikes that are 600cc, and I'm trying to keep insurance cost down. I have been stuck on Kawasaki because it seems there models have the best gas mileage an comfortable seating positions. The 250r is just out of the question, even though I'm a first time rider. I'm 35 years old and do not plan on racing, but i also don't want to be stuck with a 250cc bike when i purchase, as I plan on keeping whatever I buy. I'm looking at the Kawasaki ZZR600 and the Ninja 650, but not sure if the insurance will be that much of a difference from 600cc to 650cc.""

Cancelled car insurance?

My car insurance got cancelled for misrepresentation of garaging. I travel a lot for work and I had two places. My car got vandalized at my secondary place of residence and the insurance company and after I filed a claim, the insurance company treats is as a misrepresentation. I am about to get an insurance with a different company. Do i need to disclose this fact? How would that affect my rates. I have 1 week left on the policy.""

Does Auto insurance go down automatically after the age of 25?

If I drive a small and cheap car...

What are the best private health insurance plans in Ca. & Florida?....And which state is more affordable?

Why does my car insurance cost too much?

I am 19 and just passed my test (UK). I have a 1.0 liter Micra and I have put my details in confused.com comparison website. The quotes I am getting are around 4000. Is this right ? it seems too much. Any ideas?

What is the type of insurance that protects against the cost of injuries of others that's our fault?

How much is car insurance? I'm doing and economics project...?

Like for a 38 thousand dollar car. Looking for a lower premium and a higher deductable but in order to find a price i would have to actually sign up for car insurace and i can't do that. What would be like the best option for me would you say...? Anyone???

Estimate of car insurance for fiat 500c first time driver?

My first car is going to be a fiat 500c thats about 3 years old. I am 18 years old in the UK whats an estimate of price for the insurance for the year?

Motorbike insurance question (UK)?

ok i am planning on building my own motorbike from scratch. i did a little bit of research into insurance costs and i can't seem to find any company that offers insurance for home built bikes. they all ask what make and model it is but how could i tell them that if i built it myself? also any suggestions of companies that would insure a home build would be help full. thanks guys & gals

How do I go about getting affordable/any health insurance?

-22 -located in Philadelphia, PA -single -insurance is not offered at workplace -no parents -got denied for Medicaid Any answers are greatly appreciated!""

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Can anybody recommend an affordable dental insurance provider in the UK?

All the dentists in Lincoln seem to just be privately run and I can't afford private dentistry and as a hard working tax payer I'm not entitled to free NHS care.

""With the on going crisis, is it still possible to get cheap auto insurance in california?""

i know people who've gotten their fingers burnt, so .........""

What's the most you or anyone you know has ever paid for car insurance?

I'm asking cuz I now pay close to 400/month... It's like 396. - I have 3 accidents on my record (from like 2 1/2 years ago, only one was my fault). however I found out that all of them were listed on my insurance as my fault. Found out the insurance companies automatically assign fault unless you produce proof otherwise. Now one of them I got hit from behind, so that's easy to prove with police report. However, the other one guy ran red light and I hit his side. I think the police report has it as 50/50 fault since it really can't be proven either way, it's his word against mine who ran the light. Do you think I'll be able to fight that one??? I'm gonna go down to the police headquarters and get the police reports over the next few days, just wondering... Also how much would that actually save me? - My dad had a speeding ticket (90 in a 65) and he was listed as a second driver on my car, so that also brought it up. I'm going to remove him from my insurance since he rarely drives my car anymore, and has replaced his own car. - I have the defensive driving discount already. - I'm 26 years old female in NY. I drive less than 5 miles a day to work. And I drive a silver 2006 Saturn Ion in which I'm still making payments on, so I still have comprehensive. Based on all that, do you think I can find cheaper elsewhere. Where should I loook??? I feel like whenever I try to switch companies they give me a great rate on the phone, than all of a sudden after like a month or 2 being with them, my rates suddenly increase cuz they just found the accidents . I realize I don't have the greatest driver history in the world, but 400 just seems outrageous. I know people who pay less than that a year. I was thinking of selling my car, and getting a cheaper one w/ no payments on it, which would rid me not only of my car payment, but I wouldn't have to carry comprehensive anymore either. Problem is whatever I made from the car would have to go towards paying off the loan, and I would have no money to buy the new car... I feel so stuck, but I'm paying like 750/month between insurance/car payments, and I have a crappy job and can't afford it. Suggestions??? oh btw I use a local broker and autoone insurance""

How much would insurance be?

my step dad is putting me on his insurance, he has a 2006 dodge caravan.. how much would it be for me ( a 17yr old girl) to get put on as an occasional driver?""

Which private dental insurance is the best and how much does it cost a month?

Car accident I have liability the other involved had no insurance?

I got into a car accident today which pretty much totalled out the back half of my van, seeing as the insurance agent will probably call it as totalled out. Here is my question the other party told us that he had no insurance at all and I only carry liability insurance whats going to happen with my vehicle, how are my damages going to be paid?""

Car insurance rates dropping?

hello, after my first ever six months of car insurance will my rates drop or will things be cheaper ? I am 24 about to be 25 years old. I have only had one speeding ticket.""

Buying Individual Health Insurance Florida?

I am having difficulty finding affordable health insurance here in Florida. Looking for a way to compare various plans.

I have a WA state license and got a speeding ticket in NY state -- will my insurance rates go up?

The officer who issued the ticket in NY said that it was a 3 point violation (14 mph over the speed limit). But WA state does not have a points system. Will my insurance premiums go up? I have a bare bones Geico policy.

Will traffic points on your permit affect your insurance when you get your license.?

I am a 16 year old living in Florida who has my permit and is about to get my license. I recently got a ticket for not wearing my seat belt, and I'm not sure if these points from my ticket on my permit will affect my insurance rates when I do get my license. I know you can take that class and erase the points, but I just don't want to spend 4 hours there if I don't have to. Thanks.""

My insurance and buying a new car?

Ok so I've been recently driving for more than 2 years and i haven't been in any accidents (knock on wood) and I've been looking into buying a new car (current car is 22 years old). Buuuuut my dad told me since that we're with Mercury insurance, i have to wait a total or estimate of three years to buy a new car without my insurance going through the roof. Do i really have to wait another year to buy my car???? Should i just wait? I plan on buying a 2014 Chevy Cruze 2.0TD""

Car insurance prices for 19 year old workers?

i am after getting a car because i have just passed but i am getting a sports car or a convertable and the insurance for them are so expensive! its unbelievable i got a quote for a x reg audi tt and it was 6000. how much would it be for a 8000 mini one?

Do you need Car insurance to rent a car?

My Parents don't have a car and I'm sure my other family not gonna let me drive their car so don't bother ask. I don't have a friend who got a car. Its small town where I'm at in Tuscaloosa,Alabama. I'm taking my written test next week, If i pass the written test, and then i want to take the road test. 1) Do i need a Car Insurance to rent a Car 2) Do they give me car for me to take a road test at DMV? 3) Can you buy a car without your Driver License? 4) How old do you have to rent a Car? ( I'm 19 Years old)""

Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to do this?

Do you have to be a licensed insurance agent to quote Medicare Supplement rates in Texas? Please cite a source of your information.

Denied for life insurance thru employer?

Met life denied me for life insurance. Met Life sends a denial letter to my employer....Can I get fired for that...The life insurance company stated they cannot disclose any info, however, can Human Resources call me in and ask me why? It is a company life insurance...... I would think this is a privacy or Hippa Issue......Need some help..""

""Looking for a fast, reliable, good quality and low insurance group hatchback.?""

I'm 24 and at the moment have a fairly low Saxo VTR with a couple of other performance mods, it handles like a dream on nice roads and has good acceleration. It's starting to fall apart with things going wrong left, right and centre, due to French engineering I presume? I have a DR10 on my licence from 4-5 years ago, so my insurance is a bit pricey. I just paid for a year so I can swap it straight over. I'm looking for something as fun to drive as standard and NOT French. Thanks Oh and please spare me the lectures, speed is for safe overtaking and I'm not driving too fast, you're driving too slow!""

""Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

Does anyone know how much a boat would cost me for a year, that's including gas, insurance, etc.?""

How much is the Tax penalty for not having insurance?

I lost my insurance because I didn't have enough hours. I missed open enrollment last fall and not eligible again until October 31. I heard Obama care is expensive. I also have two jobs and make around 30,000 gross pay with both jobs combined. Is the 100 a monthly penalty or a yearly penalty. Is their anyway to get around open enrollment. Maybe my Union can help?""

""What will happen to my car insurance - first time, minor accidental scratch?""

Very icy weather, I was going 20 km/hr (honestly) and when I made a right turn the ice dragged me out into the opposite lane. (It was kind of painful to watch - because I was going to SO slowly into the other car and I kept pumping the breaks but nothing) By the time I hit the car I was about 2 seconds from a complete stop already. Will this hurt my insurance? I've never been in a collision before. There was a litte peeling of paint and a scratch on the other car. Should I call them and offer to pay for it and not get my insurance involved? That's what I heard to do.""

Car insurance?

I have hear that car insurance can be a little cheaper if its a 4 door. Is this true? I have a son getting ready to drive and I was wondering.

Would my father's insurance go up if...?

If I were to buy a car under my name and insure it under my name, would my dad's insurance rates rise because I live at the same address?""

Anybody can help me with cheap car insurance.?

im 19 years old i want to but a used car but i wanna know the cheapest way to pay for car insurance.im new at this so thank you for ur help

Health insurance with maternity coverage?

So, i live in california and my husband and I plan to have a baby. Since we are not qualified for state help, I need to be insured before I get pregnant. How do I apply for that? And we are just a little bit over the poverty limit income, so I am afraid I will not be covered. If I don't work, can I still apply for maternity insurance? My husband will be paying for it. :( im worried... Thabk you for all responses.""

How much to go on my parents car insurance?

How much would it cost to add an 18 year old girl onto her parents cad insurance? I've never had a crash but only passed last week. Its a 3 or 4 year old Renault scenic

How much is car insurance in general?

I dont car about what it cost at a certain age, just want one solid answer""

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Question about Michigan auto insurance! URGENT!?

I have a son that has his drivers license and he doesn't have a car. He does NOT drive my car! Does he have to be on MY policy? If he's on my insurance it raises it 500 dollars for 6 months! HELP!

What's the cheapest car to insure for a 17 year old?

I've just turned 16 and I am starting to save up for a car/insurance, I'm just wondering whats the cheapest car to buy and insure for a 17 year old. I know it varies where you live ect ect, but I'm just wondering generally. Also would a robin reliant be cheap to insure?""

Whats the best multi car insurance company?

I live 5 miles from work. got a great driving record and i own 3 plus cars one daily driver the others i only drive not even 3000 a year just toys i like to keep im single and sick of pulling insurance off and on just to say id rather just pay a decent price to cover them all my daily driver is like 250 and my van i havnt even drove this year they want the same along with another 300 for a truck. Is there a insurance company that realises im one person and collectors plates mean i barley drive these things! please only respond if you have more then one car insured and have tryed a couple diff companys

How much will my insurance go up for my first DWI-drugs conviction (read for more info/details)?

I am wondering how much my insurance will go up by a percent amount? I am a 25 year old guy with a dwi conviction on the way. I didn't hurt or kill the other driver. I did have to repair the other car, but my rates didn't go up for that. I don't have any other points against me. My lawyer just keeps saying substantially, but that is it.""

""How much is car insurance supposed to be for people or just me, im 18 (i turn 19 in nov.)?

drove some cars afew times but never had a permit and i am trying to get my license so ill be ready to move out immediatley after i graduate next year (2013) but my stepdad keeps saying no i dont have the money for the insurance your gona have to get a job. but if insurance is under $600 for new 19 year old drivers than i have that money in my drawer. will that be enough for me to pay for my own insurance policy ?

Auto insurance for a job?

I got offered a full time job delivering for dominos. I need to know what to do about my insurace. My boss told me to raise my minimums and thats it but my mom has been yelling at me about special insurance i HAVE to get blah blah. So what do i really have to do? My insurance now on my suv is 120 a month but the quote from progressive is 5700 a year for commercial do i really have to triple my insurance for this...

What insurance would a 1985 monte carlo get?

I don't own this car yet but i want to when i get my driving licence depending on how much the insurance is, if not I'll get a 1972 model""

I got a ticket for jaywalking. Will it affect my insurance?

I live in California and was wondering if I should just pay it? I'm just wondering if it will affect my insurance but it wasn't a traffic ticket and I'm confused.

Cost of newborn delivery/childbirth(California...

I'm wondering what the cost is for delivery/childbirth is in California, without taking health insurance coverage into account? Just looking for a general number, but if you want more specifics: -My area is the San Francisco Bay Area (east/south bay) -When I say childbirth, I mean: admittance into hospital/actual delivery procedure (not cesarian)/3 day hospital stay I'm shopping for health insurance, so any number that you come up with to help me budget/calculate would help me out greatly!""

""Average utility and insurance cost Orland Park, IL?""

I'm planning on buying a townhouse in Orland Park, IL and was wondering what the average utility (water, electricity, heat, disposal) costs are? Anyone have any estimates on insurance? The association fees cover common insurance but don't think it covers anything within the four walls of the house. Know what insurance requirements the lender puts on mortgages? Trying to estimate how much home ownership really is.""

Insurance for renting a home?

I'm renting a home from a friend, and she says that she has to cancel her home insurance. Is there rental insurance, or any more suggestions.""

About how much would it cost per month for car insurance? i'm 16 and i would be driving a 10 year old minivan.

Does motorbike insurance after a while make your car insurance cheaper?

I'm getting a motorbike nd plan on having one for about 4 years and then get a car later. I'm just wondering if it will make my car insurance any cheaper later on? WILL RATE BEST AND MOST HELPFUL ANSWER, THANKS!""

""Auto insurance question, need help!!?""

I have no idea about these questions, could someone explain them? Your neighbor has his own insurance policy with State Farm with the same coverages that you have with your Allstate Auto Policy. So when he says his insurance will cover an accident, you loan him your car. He promptly runs into a tree, causing $2,500 in damage to your car. How much will your insurance policy pay? A. $ 0 B. $ 2,000 C. $ 2,500 D. State Farm will pay E. Cannot be determined You are at the North Carolina coast when Hurricane Irene hits. Although you are able to get away, you have to leave your car and luggage behind. The hurricane blows your car into a tree, causing considerable damage and the trunk to open. Your luggage is then blown away and never recovered. It costs $8,000 to repair your car. The value of your luggage was $500. Your policy will pay: A. $ 7,500 B. $ 7,700 C. $ 8,000 D. $ 8,200 E. $ 8,500 After pumping gas in your new car, you forget to remove the hose from your gas tank. As you drive off, the hose breaks spilling some gasoline and starting a fire. The fire causes $325,000 in damage to the gas station. You are held responsible for the entire loss. Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 100,000 C. $ 300,000 D. $ 325,000 E. None of the above Your twelve-year-old brother, who does not have a drivers license, is visiting you on campus and while sitting in your car playing with the transmission, he puts the car in drive and drives it into the front door of your sorority (or fraternity) house. The damage to your house is $22,000 and your car costs $5,500 to repair. Your brother is hurt, goes to the emergency room and is released with a few bandages and a bill for $1,500 Your policy will pay: A. $ 0 B. $ 1,500 C. $ 5,000 D. $ 6,500 E. None of the above""

Why does another persons driving record affect my insurance?

sharing a residence with other people doesn't mean sharing vehicles or the responsibilities, so why should their driving record affect my insurance rates?""

Cheap car insurance uk?

My car insurance is due, anyone know the cheapest company to go with? I'm a 19 year old guy with 2 years no claims and no convictions. The cheapest I found on a comparison website was 1300. any help would be appreciated. Thanks""

Insurance question after engine blow up?

I was wondering, will insurance pay for damage to a car without being in accident? Let me give you example. What if I was driving on highway and my engine would blow up (not during racing, just cruising around), and I don't have manufacturers warranty anymore. Can I file claim, and will insurance pay for new engine?""

Can I have two different health insurance providers?

I would like to get my medical insurance from Geisinger choice (I live in PA and know first hand they are good insurance) but I want my dental and vision from Humana. Am I allowed to mix insurance companies??

Insurance cost for Mustangs?

I'm 18 and NEVER had a car before. If I get a 1999-2001 Mustang that's used, how much would the insurance be per month? I live in NV if that makes a difference. How much would insurance be if I got a 2005-2006 Mustang that's used?""

Does anyone know any cheap car insurance for young driver?

i passed my driving about a year ago and still not driving (shocking, i know) all the insurance are so expensive even for a 1.0 liter engine, please give me some companies that will provide me with cheap insurance please. i am only 18. please help. thank you""

Will my car insurance decrease every year?

I am in my first year with my car insurance in Ontario. Please tell me how it works. By the end of every year, will they re-calculate my insurance rate or keep it the same? Providing I have accident- and ticket-free history, will I be paying lower every year or not?""

Can I take out a separate insurance policy on my parents car?

My parents use Direct line as their insurance provider on their car. I looked into how much the insurance would be for me (an 18 year old female) once I pass my test which worked out quite expensive. However I looked at a few other providers and found some cheaper quotes for myself. As my parents are with Direct line can I have my own insurance with another provider for the same car? (If that makes sense) Thanks in advance.

Car Insurance-Is it OK to lie?

I read somewhere that if you run a stop light and hit the other car, you should not admit your fault because of insurance costs. What do you think?""

""When being sued by an insurance company, can they put a lien on my property?""

i was involved in a accident in 2008 now me and my mom are being sued. My mom is the registered car owner (shes super mad at me) anyways they will post a judgement againt the both of us. We are both W2 workers and she has a house. Can anyone give me the worst case scenario, what can we do??""

How much is classic car insurance in Ontario?

Hi, I'm looking at making a car purchase for the summer. I'm looking at a couple cars, including a '72 Dodge Dart and a '69 (?) Chevy Nova. I like both because they are, a) under $2000 dollars, b) are both in need of some TLC, and c) I've heard that classic car insurance CAN be cheaper than regular insurance. I'm 20 with a perfect driving record and a full G-license, but I know that doesn't usually matter to insurance companies. Any advice? I'd be buying for a daily driver, so is it even worth the effort despite the serious increase in cool-factor?""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/la-insurance-pontiac-mi-aaron-hoffman/"

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georgielou-50913 · 7 years

Text

a sad questionnaire

What do you wish was different?

My life. I wish things had turned out different, I wish my family wasnt so against me, i wish i wasnt so damaged, i wish i was a better person. i wish everything about my life was different, just not him. he is perfect. he is the ONLY thing keeping me alive, keeping me going. but god i wish things were different.

What’s the hardest part about that?

things cannot change. i am too damaged, and unless you can bring back my little girl i will never be able to feel any different. so im better off dead yeah? things could be a little different if i didn't live here. but thats not going to change for a very long time.

Are you thinking about anything bad that might happen?

so many things? so work hasnt been greatly lately i havent been getting the hours i need. my nan (who i live with) has basically told me if i cant pay the rent ill be homeless. my boyfriend has a big family and stays with his parents so theres nothing they can do for me, they dont have the room. i couldnt pay my rent last month, and i dont know if im going to be able to this month either. i cant afford to live in my own place nor can i make that decision because i dont know if ill ever be able to pay the rent. i am not getting any work, no where near enough. not even 200 quid per month. last month i earnt 140 quid, i get paid by the hour and theres no work. im trying so hard to find a new job but its not that easy anymore. shes making my life hell every single day and there is nothing i can do. if im homeless i will just throw myself off a bridge.

What was the sad bit there for you?

being stuck in this house, that i cannot change, being spoken down to every day, all day. getting inside my head telling me how useless and worthless i am, basically i was better off dead.

What are you thinking might go wrong here?

as above..... im going to become homeless, if not this month then next month? i cant pay everything, im in debt. i cant even pay my phone bill. i cant afford to pay anything, nothing at all. my boyfriend helped me last month and left himself in further debt. i cant do that to him, he cant afford to keep us both going when he sis struggling to keep himself going.

What else has happened that makes this worse?

my uncle recently went into hospital, and me and luke did absolutely everything we did to help him and my nan, but now that luke has no money and is running on barely any petrol.. i said i may not be able to help for a while and basically this has caused a huge storm at home for me, she will not allow my boyfriend in the house anymore and is basically ruining my life now, coming into my room several times a day to rip the shit out of me, reminding me every hour how much she hates me and i feel like im stuck in an incredibly bad emotional abusive relationship and there truly is no way out, im already stressed as it is, i keep breaking into tears all the time. i didnt say i WOULDNT help i just said that it was going to be a bit harder, i didnt deserve the way she spoke to me or the way she is treating me, especially luke.

Do you know why you feel upset about this, or do you just feel upset?

i think ive explained all that above. basically its a neverending thing of talking down to me and telling me how worthless i am and im fat, and stupid, and selfish, and evil and mean, i am better off dead. why was i even born? to suffer? why me.

What is the worst thing about that?

the worst thing is its my own nan who is making me feel this way. the one lady i have looked up to my whole life and would do anything for. and she is making me want to die.

What else is hard about that situation?

its put a lot of strain on all my other realtionships, i have tried to break up with luke on several occassions when that isnt even what i want to do. that is not what i want i just dont want him getting mixed up in all this situation. im trying to protect him aswell. but i dont want him to see me this way, ive lost my appetite i dont want to eat, im letting myself go completely i could just sleep all day, sleep forever.

Do you feel more sad/hurt/angry/worried about that or some other feeling?

ive suffered depression most of my life anyway but i always fight it you know? this time i cant shake it, ive been suffering for months and its getting worse, with a strong history of self harming i havent resorted to that yet, but its becoming more and more appealing, and this time ive relied more on alcohol than hurting myself, because self harm is only short term relief, alcohol lets me forget for the whole day and i can relax. i just dont think im going to break it this time.

Are you worried about people thinking this?

i dont really have anyone to talk to, i dont want lukes family thinking im a bad influence for him to be with, although they say they are there to listen, especially his sister, i dont want to be a burden and i dont want to vent all this on them, i dont want advice. i dont want help. well i do.... but what can they really do to help me? i have to be careful of what i write on social media.... i am not attention seeking, more like a cry for help.

On a scale from 1-10, how worried/upset/mad/scared/hurt are you about this?

10. .....way more than 10.. i want to die.

Okay, so how about compared to this other thing? What is worse

both the fear of being homeless and the constant abuse im getting by staying here. the fact of me being stuck in this house being told every day all day how worthless i am, is the worse, its classed as emtoional abuse, making someone want to die is bad. i dont know if she realises this is what she is doing. i cant really compare. not knowing whether im going to be homeless at the end of the month is terrifying, where will i go? i cant say which is worse, because both are as bad as eachother.

When you aren't busy/when you are lying in bed at night - what are the things that make you most upset?

not knowing whether im going to get work the next day, wondering if its going to be enough. wondering whether tomorrow will be easier, i share a room with my nan so i get constant abuse right from the minute i wake up to the second i fall asleep. its neverending.

Is there anything about this you feel embarrassed or ashamed about?

the fact that my own nan is ruining my life? tearing me apart. ripping my heart into pieces... ashamed. yes.

What are the some of the things you're worried people might be thinking about you?

i dont want her to tell people that i was selfish, i never said i wouldnt help. we have done so much for the past couple weeks, and before. she is making it sound like we did nothing, and that all we cared about was money, she barely gave us anything, and what she did was purely for petrol because we have absolutely no money atall... so its been incredibly hard. we did these things because we wanted to help. and shes thrown it all back in our faces. i cant forgive that. but now she tells people that i am selfish, that i did nothing to help. that i did not want to help and this was not the case atall.

How often are you feeling upset about it?

it doesnt go away, when i have her constantly reminding me all day that i am a worthless useless horrible evil nasty fat useless waste of space. it doesnt end. i am getting worse.

What do you wish you could change about yourself in all of this?

i wish i could be as special as my sister, she is so proud of her. i wish she could of been proud of me too, i made some mistakes in life, and i pay for them everyday. i wish you could be proud of me too. thats all i ever wanted to hear from you, not how you wish youd never adopted me into your home.

What makes you feel a bit better about all of this?

having luke by my side.

What's the most frustrating part of it all?

I cannot defend myself with the way she talks to me, because if i do id get thrown out in seconds. then what do i do? Ive also badgered on at my boss to give me more work, explained my situation and all they say is there is no more work to give me. ive been applying for other jobs for months and had a few interviews but its just not worked out. i dont know what else to do.

What do you think people don't understand about this?

there is only so much you can push someone. and i am at the very end, i speak to people but they just tell me to either ignore it or find another job. no it is not that fucking simple! how do you ignore someone who is constantly in your face reminding you of how shit you are every single day.

What would make this a little better?

if i could move into lukes house, he tells me if i become homeless that would happen, but i dont think he is right, his parents have already said theyd love to take me in but there genuinely is no room. i just want to get away fromt this place.

What is coming up in your week that will be hard because of this?

well i have another week till payday, that is the day i find out my fate i suppose. am i going to be homeless again..

When was the last time you cried about this?

today, ive lost count how many times ive cried today, cried myself to sleep last night, ive been crying everyday.

What helps you cope?

tumblr, online games, working, music, tv shows, anything to occupy myself. but its all short lived.

What times of day are the hardest for you?

the times im not working, today i have absolutely no work at all so i have t be stuck here all day listening to abuse. tomorrow i will be working in the morning then again tomorrow evening, then ill be staying at lukes house this weekend and ill be working over the weekend so ill not have much time to think about it. but during the day is the hardest. because i have to just endure it. waiting for the time to pass. tomorrow ill only have a few hours here. but ive still gotta get through the night.

#personal

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