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todayisawthewhxlewxrld · 7 months

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Spellbound

you might be void of feelings i fear i haven’t felt for anyone

synopsis// by no means did you hate soulmates, you just hated that he was your soulmate. not like megumi was ecstatic that he was your soulmate either. but that’s fine, both of you found someone else to keep you company.

status// finished!

updates// everyday unless said otherwise

warning// dating app!au, soulmate!au, college!au, no curses!au, enemies(?) to lovers, profanity, megumi and y/n are edgy pieces of shit <3, kys jokes, crack humor? i’m going back to my cringe 2020 smau roots with reaction images id say i’m sorry but i’m not, if any characters or dynamics r ooc take that up with the universe not me !!

☆ this smau wasn’t inspired by a song but the title was!! ‘twas inspired by spell strike by provoker, so besides the title and lyrics on here the song holds little to no relevance :) ☆

you might be the only one

might be the only one for me

feeling 1. young and stupid

feeling 2. child of divorce

feeling 3. no schedule just vibes

feeling 4. six feet under

feeling 5. this is my fight song

feeling 6. success rate

feeling 7. lone wolf

feeling 8. dumpster fire

feeling 9. retail therapy

feeling 10. be normal

feeling 11. the enemy has been defeated

feeling 12. enemies to lovers irl

feeling 13. exorcism

feeling 14. shut ur up

feeling 15. winner

feeling 16. hip hip hooray

feeling 17. swiped right!

feeling 18. silly little mystery

feeling 19. for no reason

feeling 20. i guess so

feeling 21. sigh of relief

feeling 22. relationship territory

feeling 23. don’t hmu

feeling 24. major in loser

feeling 25. fight club

feeling 26. jigsaw

feeling 27. ghosting

feeling 28. cold shoulder

feeling 29. before marriage

feeling 30. meant to be

feeling 31. a hunch

feeling 32. survival of the fittest

feeling 33. he knows

feeling 34. so close yet so far

feeling 35. (disrespectfully)

feeling 36. regressing

feeling 37. take pity

feeling 38. telepathy

feeling 39. betrayed

feeling 40. two birds with one stone

feeling 41. dead end

feeling 42. mass hysteria

feeling 43. an apology

feeling 44. baby’s first reciprocated love

feeling 45. psychological warfare

feeling 46. jealous

feeling 47. a facade

feeling 48. learning to coexist

feeling 49. with you

feeling 50. useless E information

feeling 51. good idea

feeling 52. break the peace

feeling 53. enjoy the peace

feeling 54. revenge

feeling 55. tolerable

feeling 56. catastrophic

feeling 57. fumbled

feeling 58. easier than you think

feeling 59. no downtime

feeling 60. caught red handed

feeling 61. for good

feeling 62. replace megumi with megumi

feeling 63. delicate

feeling 64. best bet

feeling 65. valid question

feeling 66. devils incarnate

feeling 67. patience is a virtue

feeling 68. grow and change as a person

feeling 69. megumi truthers

feeling 70. knock on wood

feeling 71. come find me

feeling 72. cryptic

feeling 73. more than aware

feeling 74. see the future

feeling 75. trying to be nice

feeling 76. why do you hate me

feeling 77. knight in shining armor

feeling 78. perfect paradox

feeling 79. idgaf war

feeling 80. stay like this forever

feeling 81. baby bird

feeling 82. found your way back

feeling 83. heart racing

feeling 84. loverboy activities feeling 85. megumi this megumi that feeling 86. protect you feeling 87. flirt back feeling 88. wingmen feeling 89. in love with megumi allegations feeling 90. more broken feeling 91. gets shirtless again feeling 92. 1 new message!

feeling 93. protecting your peace

feeling 94. tired of waiting

last feeling. a kiss and a fight

epilogue/bonus feeling. spy

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

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WIBTA if I didn’t let my friend bring their partner to social events?

We are all in our 30s and all trans/NB/queer. My friend (B) and I have known each other nearly 20 years, and over those years they’ve had a rough dating history. They’ve had several emotionally and mentally abusive or neglectful partners, further details about that I won’t give here. I’ve met most of them and they’ve always disliked me for various reasons (usually they were just jealous of the place I held in their life).

Recently though, B seems to have found someone who makes them happy (we’ll call them T) and T treats them better than their previous partners. Which is great! I’m happy for B. But I find T insufferable.

Granted, I don’t have to see T very often, but when I do its always uncomfortable.

The first time I met T they trauma dumped immediately. In the first half hour I knew all about their horrible family but couldn’t tell you any hobby or interest they had. We were in a very public place and I didn’t feel it was the most appropriate topic to get to know someone, but I tried to relate with my own stories all the same. However, T always had to “one up” every story I told. it felt like a “whose childhood was worse” competition.

The second time we all hung out T ignored me completely, really only hanging around and talking to B. Since it was B’s birthday I didn’t really mind at all. Plus, we were at a beercade so everyone was kinda off doing their own thing. But even when we all sat down they just kinda threw looks my way but didnt say a word to me.

But most recently I had hosted a halloween party (it was only 8 folks so tiny party) where B and T both showed up. When T asked me how work was going I started with what I felt was a normal “Ah yeah, it sucks but—” and before I could say anything else they spoke over me to say

“Yeah you’ve mentioned you hate your job every time I’ve seen you so thats sort of my only impression of you :/ ”

(a possibly important side note: B and T are both doing things that they enjoy but have to hustle a bit to make ends meet whereas I have a full time retail job through which i have insurance so leaving isnt as easy for me since I have more tied up in my job than just a paycheck)

This really pissed me off, as not only is being interrupted a huge pet peeve, but there are aspects of my job I enjoy. I just never got to talk about them because the conversation would either divert or we would just stop talking altogether. Also the way they came across felt pretty judgmental.

T then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking about everything from the movie to the snacks with therapy speak and trauma processing. (ex: I think I’m locked into this movie because it might’ve been a safe haven for me during my childhood and I just dont remember watching it but I can feel its importance to me) And only ever to B, never engaging with anyone else.

(another note: they are not the only one at the party with anxiety. two of my other friends have severe social anxiety and while maybe a little awkward were still able to hold casual conversations. no one was a stranger to anyone at the party)

This also meant that I didn’t get to spend any time with B during the party either, which was a shame cause I see them so rarely.

I understand that trauma processing is important and its great if you have someone in your life that can help you. It does not need to happen every where all the time. And I’m worried that B might be getting taken advantage of like they have in the past (in the sense that they have to do all the emotional legwork in the relationship and get very little of that effort back).

I’m tired of catering to this attitude and I don’t enjoy being around them, so I no longer want to involve them in group events I host.

would that make me an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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heartbeatbookclub · 2 months

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yooo do u have any headcanons for what the girls (maybe even mc idk) would do after highschool?

My most confident answer is that I think Sayori would be a teacher. Maybe a daycare worker? I'd even say a child psychologist/school counselor. I've said this before, but I think Sayori would be amazing with kids, and would probably find working with children very gratifying. She's patient, she's compassionate, and she's very receptive. She'd be spending a lot of her time helping children struggling with similar issues that she did when she was young, and I think she'd really take pride in that.

As for her journey to get there after high school, I feel like she'd probably struggle a lot with college, but would eventually find her footing, especially with her support network around her. I don't think she'd want to spend a terribly long period of time getting multiple degrees and fighting for a super good position, either; I get the sense she'd want to start working as soon as possible, which might come back to bite her depending on which career she chooses...

Monika's a bit tough to say. It feels like a bit of a cop-out to say she'd take a coding job, but I do think that's a possibility. I also don't really think something like being a concert pianist would be something she'd seriously consider; in the first place, doing that as a career is inherently volatile, in the second, I don't think Monika would ever really have the confidence in herself to consider playing professionally. I'd imagine one of her friends would probably encourage her to try it, and although she might make some money off of a few gigs, it's always a side thing, and never something she'd consider diving headfirst into.

I get the sense that Monika's high standards for herself probably aren't entirely self-imposed. Girl's got gifted kid syndrome out the nose; I think if any of the girls were seriously considering college, Monika would be the one who felt the most pressure to get in and succeed. Conversely, I think of any of them that would go to college, she would have the absolute worst experience.

Maybe she goes in for a premed program. Maybe law. Maybe something in STEM that is similarly difficult to get through. Something with a high bar to pass, something with a lot of pressure riding on her success. Something likely to put a lot of debt over her head even with scholarships.

And under all of that pressure, she snaps. Maybe she drops out. Maybe she takes a year off. Maybe she fails an entire semester. Regardless, I think she's wont to put a whole lot of pressure onto herself, and then have a nervous breakdown when she can't keep it together, regardless of her support network. I think she'd probably end up in a period where she'd have to reevaluate what her actual goal in life is.

And I think she'd ultimately find it, and be significantly more satisfied with the result than if she just stuck it out wherever she was.

I don't really think Yuri would have very high aspirations. I think she'd hate working in something like fast food or retail, but then again she probably wouldn't enjoy working in general, especially in customer facing environments. Maybe something like a bookstore or coffee shop would be more tolerable. It's kinda funny because I have an old concept of a mild self-insert crackfic which involves Yuri coming to work at my Subway (which is a further offshoot of an old concept of Basil from Omori working at my Subway), so maybe she'd work there.

I think her dream job would be as a novelist, and while I don't really think she'd probably end up being some super famous writer, I do think she'd probably put enough effort into an original work that it would be passable. Now, convincing her to send it to a publisher? Hahaha good luck. In fact, I doubt she'd show anyone for a long, long time. But, with some encouragement, she might self-publish on, like, Amazon. Maybe start a patreon or something related to it, idk. Either way, she'd probably see it as a side-gig similarly to Monika.

I think Natsuki would be in a similar position to Yuri, though she'd have much more dislike of working retail or food-service just because she hates customer service explicitly and lacks a lot of the patience for it. I think there's a number of reasons why Natsuki wouldn't have particularly high aspirations for herself, but that's another story. She'd probably be quick about trying to get into her own place, though.

I think Natsuki would be a Twitch streamer. Completely deadass, I think of anyone in the group she's the most likely, and I think she'd go for it. I think she'd be a Vtuber, and she'd go all in on making her own model. I think that again, this would all be more of a side-gig, but she'd probably enjoy herself doing it, even if she had trouble finding her footing at first.

MC would probably work the most dead-end jobs between high school and a more stable career. I think he'd probably go to college for compsci just because he's a generic man (although they don't call them programmer socks for nothing ;)) and then get a shitty IT helpdesk job which is mostly fixing printers and installing drivers.

#some of these involve some deeper thinking but I'm sorta just tossing my initial thoughts out #i might work a bit more with the concept ive put forward for monika here #& maybe one day I'll make the Yuri Works At Subway fic #ddlc monika #ddlc sayori #ddlc yuri #ddlc natsuki #ddlc mc #my headcanons #doki doki literature club #ddlc #asks

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roo-bastmoon · 1 year

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Revenge Retail Therapy

So, I had a shithead human being who forgot their humanity for a moment, operating under a throw-away account, come to my inbox right after my post asking for us all to be kind to each other just to tell me that 1) Jimin has faked being a good singer all these years thanks to auto tune 2) Jimin is a lying queerbaiting attention whore and 3) Jimin is secretly loathed by Taekook for these obvious reasons.

Now, I'm a human and an Aries and menopausal, so you best believe I needed to take a moment and find my better self before deleting that nonsense.

And I confess, for a few moments it did leave me feeling pretty powerless. Frankly, all the stuff happening in the charts, with military enlistment, with online bullying, all of it left me feeling super powerless.

So on my lunch break, I went to the bank and drew out some cash. To hire a hitman? No, to use my anger as a tool to manifest the world I want.

This is TMI, but, I'd been saving up to treat myself to a new sofa. I had my eye on a nice little cream-colored comfy sectional with a lounge built in. Figured it would be a nice grownup thing to get.

But also? I have three furry overlords who LOVE to scratch up and puke on the furniture and they still have a good five to ten years of life left in them. These are my three demons who took cat form:

So as long as I am their slave, a brand new nice sofa is just not a realistic purchase. Better to save my money...

But then I got the idea to get revenge retail therapy. And on my lunch break today, I drove my butt to Target.

I will be giving away these albums at Yoongi's concert in Newark on April 29th. Anything that doesn't get taken will be donated to my local country public library system. And HOPEFULLY these purchases will end up reflected in the charts, since they were made in person at a US retailer, using only cash, and purchased ONE AT A TIME with sheer malicious glee.

Listen. I blocked that set-up account, but, on the off chance they are lurking around my blog, I want to gently but firmly say something:

You cannot keep Park Jimin down. And you cannot MAKE us Jimin stans lower ourselves to your level.

You keep spreading hate. It only makes me love harder. Keep going. I'll make more iTunes accounts at this point. WATCH ME.

Y'all keep playing I just might take up a collection to found the Park Jimin Center for Haters Who Can't Read Good and Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, Inc.

You'll never have the last word. Never.

Kindest regards,

Roo

PS. Jimin is so loved. Jimin is so, so, SO very loved. By all his members. By true ARMY. Most of all by Jeon Jungkook. And if you liked my retail therapy, here have some more receipts about that:

#jimin #jikook

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virtie333 · 6 months

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Day 5 - Life Day Damerey Celebration

Prompt: Holiday

Summary: A new relationship is tested.

Warnings: This is a Modern Alternate Universe story. There will be more incoming. Fluff and feelings in this one.

AO3

“What do you mean you can’t come because you’re working?” he asked her. “It’s Christmas Eve! No one should have to work a holiday.”

Rey had just started dating Poe Dameron two short months ago. They had met thanks to their mutual friend, Finn, and while things had been going well in their relationship so far, and Rey was exceedingly happy to have finally found someone who actually seemed to ‘get her,’ she knew there would be bumps in the road. Apparently, this was the first one.

“I agree no one should work on holidays when you’re talking about retail or service industries, but some jobs are necessary all the time,” Rey argued. She hated that this conversation was happening over the phone. She would really like to see his expressive face right now, to know what he was thinking.

“Well, of course!” Poe countered. “Hospitals and cops and firefighters and such,” he continued. “They are needed and are hopefully getting extra pay for their service.” He paused. “But Rey, you work for a bank. Why are you working Christmas Eve?”

Rey smiled. There was a bit of a whine in his voice. “I’m not working my regular job,” she told him. “I’m volunteering at the local animal shelter.”

The other end of the line was silent, so after a moment, Rey continued.

“I’m volunteering to feed and clean that night so that the regular staff and other volunteers can have the night off to be with their families. I’ve always done it over holidays since I don’t have family of my own. I had already signed up to do it this year before we started dating and I didn’t bother changing it because I didn’t know if you even celebrated Christmas or not.”

“Well, yeah,” Poe answered her non-question. “Dad and I have always had a traditional Christmas Eve. Dinner followed by presents.” He sighed. “I was really getting excited about the thought of you joining us. I think he was, too.”

“I’m sorry, Poe,” Rey said, and she truly was. “I should be done by eight, if you guys want to do it a little later than normal?” She paused. “Or you could come with me and we could get done sooner..?”

“I… I wouldn’t know what to do. I’d just be in your way.” He sounded surprised but not upset. And he hadn’t said ‘no.’

“It’s not that difficult. I’ve done it so much I could do it in my sleep. It would be easy to direct you.” She bit her lip before adding, “and I know you’d love to love on all those dogs and cats.”

He huffed a laugh. One of the things that had helped them bond was their shared love of animals. Poe’s dog BB had solidified that bond by attaching himself to Rey more than any other woman Poe had dated. Or so he said. “Are you sure?” he asked, his voice still uncertain.

“Poe, I would love to spend Christmas Eve with you, even if it means cleaning cat litter boxes and scooping dog poop.”

His responding laughter made her smile. Oh, how she loved to hear him laugh!

“Okay,” he finally said. “I’ll do it. I’ll just let Dad know we’ll be a little later than normal.”

Rey’s heart thumped hard a couple of times in her chest. She was more sure than ever that she was falling in love with this man. “Thank you, Poe,” she said softly. “For inviting me to be a part of your traditions and for your help.”

“Thank you, Rey,” he responded. “For letting me be a part of your holiday traditions, too.”

This just might be the best Christmas ever.

#fanfiction #damerey #jedipilot #poe x rey #modern au #fluff

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jetgirl1832 · 5 months

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20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. @nottawriter hit me with a tag, I have been attacked lol.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? A dash of shower thoughts, with a pinch of I watched a movie and couldn't help but think... Yes, that will work. They often feel like the come from nowhere.

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? That's not fair how dare you ask me this!!!! Uhhh I'm mostly reading Supercorp stuff these days sooo... @jazzfordshire, @mycatismyeditor, @fazedlight, @innamorament0, @scribblingpunk, @fyonahmacnally to name a few. AAAAND my co-author and a vast array of things @tomatopudding! Why? Idk, I just get drawn a lot to these works and think they're lovely, and I love their depictions of these characters I love.... with @tomatopudding we just vibe very well, sharing the same five brain cells helps.

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? If we're talking Supergirl... That's so hard, but I might have to say Brainy and Nia if really pressed... and Alex. I really enjoy Alex.

Otherwise, my other faves include all of the Les Amis from Les Miserables (if you know you know), specifically Courfeyrac and Marius and their hilarious dynamic. Other faves include Eliza Schuyler-Hamilton, Eponine Thenardier and... This could go on for a very long time, are you sure you have time?

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? Not putting Kara and Lena together just makes me sad... So Supercorp ftw all the way, they are my top (I am a lot more amenable in other fandoms I've written for)

Tropes... I'm unlikely to do Omega-verse, I haven't done it and I can't see myself starting even if I sometimes read it.

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed?

When I worked in retail I wrote on stupid little scraps and probably lost about 75% of them. Sometimes the method is hand writing, and then typing and making edits during that process as well. The handwritten can vary drastically from the typed draft lol.

I tend to fly by the seat of my pants unless someone is keeping me in line. I'm pretty darn chaotic.

I doubt myself a lot, so I always think whatever I write is garbage no matter how much proof there is that's not true. Also, sometimes I get burnt out, or my muse dies and then I feel terrible. Yay.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? Falling down rabbit holes, looking into fun topics. Likely ending up on a government watch list for the stuff I've searched up over the years

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Uhhh.... hmm. I have no idea what the weirdest is lol. Cause it's on my mind, probably looking up what types of wood are easiest to chop, and why. (There is definitely weirder, but I don't remember right now).

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? Commas. They hate me, and I hate them.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Oof. Uhhh... This is so hard! Honestly there is a lot of stuff in my co-written very long series Hamilton Family Album that was *a lot* between research and feels.

Especially when you're co-author hits you with unexpected feels out of nowhere that you weren't anticipating (YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID).

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? Of course, they have. It happens all the time.

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? Ohhh... Hands down Kara and Lena, I wish they could be my friends and we could hang out. Why? I think that they are absolutely incredible, wonderful and I could just sing their praises for ever.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Oooo, I'm a sucker for fluffy romances, and I've been dabbling in smut recently. Other themes for me can be like found family is a really popular one for me.

Since I've written both a lot of Les Mis and Hamilton stuff (among other similar things) I've done a lot of "Modern AU's" as well, which are uhhh varied to say the least. If I can treat anything they way the treat most Shakespeare pieces these days I do it.

13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Asking for help! Soundboarding with other writers, I love doing it. It helps me make sense of my ideas... Or decide they're maybe too out there (almost never lol)

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? Reading it out loud, I have a hard time noticing errors otherwise. Asking someone you trust to look it over as well, take your time and double and triple check if you're unsure about something.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? D. All of the Above

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try to just write for myself, usually because I haven't seen something like it and think it should exist. I do really enjoy getting comments if only because I'm always curious to hear what readers think about my work.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don't, and if I did it would be odd... I'm the most massive theater nerd. I do have songs that I think fit the vibes, and some shows I listen to have more apt things than others. Or if it's Les Mis it's the whole dang album lol.

Supercorp things if anyone is curious (and wondering how odd it could get): Mercury Rising from Lizzie, Come Home With Me, Anyway the Wind Blows, Wait for Me and Wedding Song from Hadestown, In A Crowd of Thousands from Anastasia, Origin of Love from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Maybe I introduced you to something fun today.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? Oh dear... I don't know. The thing I'd love to see art for isn't up yet and I just think it would be fun but it will be called What Was I Made For... And we're gonna leave at that for now.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have? I'm finishing up You've Got New Followers (One chapter left!), I think three other WIP's (two more plotted than others) and my WIP for May-Hem... So five?

20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? Don't be afraid just because you've never done it before. That's why fanfic is amazing. You can do what you want and in reality no one can stop you, just make sure you're having fun.

My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JetGirl1832/works?page=1

Tagging but no pressure: @tomatopudding and @innamorament0

#les mis #les miserables #supercorp #kara x lena #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #katie mcgrath #supergirl #hamilton #les amis de l'abc

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ravenwitch45 · 11 months

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Imagine if Stella hired Striker for a hit on Bayonetta. I'll bet Striker's encounter with the witch would go similarly to and about as swimmingly as Puss in Boots' first encounter with Death, with Striker on the losing side!

Bayonetta: "A death threat? Really? In front of my martini?" ⬆

Striker's in for a surprise when he sees Bayonetta being the most expert dodger out of all his targets. (Because he doesn't know about Witch Time) ⬆

Either way, a moving target like her might make Striker unwaveringly believe that no reward is worth this! That he might, for the first time, go "fuck it!" and tell Stella to find someone else, 'cause he ain't dying for this vendetta and she can't pay him to do that!

He thought he was on a witch hunt, but ended up with the witch hunting him! ⬇

(Alternatively for fun, you could also imagine this same scenario but with a human-sized Madama Butterfly instead of Bayonetta...)

Oh lord poor Striker. I actually just watched Last Wish so I could do this the best I could so let's do this.

Perhaps he tries to sneak up on her, hearing her hum Moon River (That will come back later) Before she suddenly turns to him making him freeze "You know it's rude to sneak up on a lady, if you have something to say I suggest you say it"The witch states, Striker awkwardly recovering, pulling his hat down to hide his surprise before replying "Your a lady who has too much of habit of making powerful people upset..."to which her eyes widen as she gets up and chuckles pulling out love is blue "Oh, an Assassin I see, well then, let's dance shall we?"

Yeah Striker is way out of his league here, mainly due to two things, one witch time, Bayonetta continually dodging everything and retailating with attacks he simply doesn't see coming, and two her weapons, if Striker brought his blessed arsenal along which seems likely, he'd have a bit more of a chance, but most of Bayonetta's weapons literally have demons inside of them, not to mention she has tons she can pull out at any moment to keep him on his toes

She would certainly toy with him, literally shooting his bullets in mid air and just smirking at him as he panicks, eventually throwing his knife at her which she also shoots down, it stabbing into a wall right next to him which makes his heart race, Bayonetta just crossing her arms "You know, you do have a fire about you, and I'd hate to put that out, too few passionate people in the world these days, so why don't you run along, I won't blame you."She says, Striker looking at her in surprise, truly not expecting that, his hair standing on end as she raises a brow, cocking one of her guns and that sends him running after grabbing his knife, trying his best to keep his tail from between his legs.

He tells Stella off and checks out of that whole situation, except well... While I don't believe Striker would get as panicked or... well traumatized by the experience as Puss was from his encounter with Death, it still leaves it's marks, him remembering it as one of the few moments he ever felt truly powerless and afraid. And he get's all panicky ever hearing Moon River, terrified of ever seeing her again, though he keeps his composure despite that mostly until the memory get's stirred.

The thing I love about this most is I have an OC who's friends with both of them, so Imagine Striker and him just run into her on the street, and while there talking Striker is just scared into silence, hiding his face under his hat hoping not to be recognized, she has no ill intent or hard feelings, she isn't hunting him like Death hunted Puss but still, he's scared of her to a degree he didn't know he could be XP

#ask reply #helluva boss #bayonetta #helluva striker #puss in boots #puss in boots death #the last wish #my writing i suppose xp #thanks for sharing

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goldenpinof · 9 months

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Not that this is like, a hot new take or anything, but I can imagine that they both might be going through a bit of a crisis. Like their careers have finally died down but like, what do they do. They haven't done much else but be YouTube personalities (which is more than just YouTube, obv) for like, nearly 15 years. They are probably afraid to venture into new territory, because at this point that will likely mean risking either their brand or their bank accounts (like how Dan had to risk money to do the tour / offer to put up his own money for Dinok). Not that that's a good excuse, but I can understand being afraid and Phil just trying to hang on to his usual content for the both of them (as he also figures out work/life balance). Dan only did DD for the tour and it definitely felt kinda forced. Just doing their old stuff but with their older/out-of-closet selves isn't going to be successful in a way it's safe, for now.

As someone with a lot of the same kind of mental health struggles Dan has, I imagine he might be beyond burnt out and doesn't really want the attention anymore because of the work it requires. And even though it's like, okay it's been months since the tour okay what's next... idk what we'll really get out of him for a while (maybe a few years even?) besides random contract work like the channel 4 thing. Like, projection time, but I just got through grad school with extreme ADHD/executive dysfunction/procrastination etc, and was so burnt out by the end idk how I did it. And I'm like, oh well it's been about 6 months I should probably have a job in my field by now (which I'm probably insane for thinking that anyways because the job market is in so wild). But like, I've been kinda burnt out since 2016 (when I was 16 and a junior in high school, at the end of my og dnp phase) and all I can muster the mental energy to do now is the same part-time / retail work I've been doing the past few years. Which like, I'm barely getting by and I do ultimately feel disappointed that I'm not trying harder to put my fancy new degree to work because I'm barely applying for anything. But I just can't get myself together enough to do that right now. I imagine Dan might be going through something similar, like, he could be doing something creative but he probably is just tired and wants to just live life without any expectations and go on vacations and rely on Phil to be the content creator. He's probably aware that it's not ideal. But he also seems done with compromising any creative vision either because he doesn't want to do sponsorships or anything that isn't a deeply personal piece of art. And he probably doesn't have many deep ideas now that WAD is done and Dinok is stalled and there isn't much he seems to want to do commentary on (because if he just sucked it up he would actually be a pretty good commentary YouTuber lol).

I think they also have a lot more stuff to work through mental health wise too before they are ever really able to not be cryptic about their relationship, since when ex-phannies or random people who remember them see their tiktoks or whatever it's what they all ask about. Like to some degree I don't know if they ever wanted to be out and famous but it got to the point where they couldn't keep denying it either. I'm so glad they came out because it's clearly so much healthier, but beyond the trauma of being closeted that they had to overcome they probably now have trauma from years and years of people being weird towards them about their relationship and it's like... now they have get through that in order to take the next step. do they really want to go through all that just to help open themselves up to a new era of content? Idk.

(this turned out to be wayyy longer than I anticipated woops. can't even remember if some of this was in response to what was on your blog or some of the other similar conversations I've seen about this today but yeah).

i'm almost crying. i hate us so much. this is exactly why the phandom needs meet ups irl or "bubbles" where we could have conversations. because trying to answer THAT without forgetting something is hard, and also i can't imagine how hard it is to write these mini-essays and get bullshit in response.

i appreciate it a lot. and i basically agree with your message. i see how it can be true. and i know that in case of burnout, Dan can let himself step back. the problem i have with him disappearing and coming back after 2018 is that he thinks that the audience will wait for him and accept everything he puts out with the same passion, participation, and amount of money as when he and Phil were making content without long pauses. but book sales, merch sales, tour ticket sales, views and god knows what else that we can't see show that we aren't willing to wait. and it started in 2019 i guess, so you would think that by 2022 Dan would understand what went wrong and just book smaller venues (or make a smaller stage for it to not be a problem). i'm using wad just as an example. you said Dan could not want attention anymore. but he repeatedly says that he loves attention. and it's not only words, you can see it irl. ofc after tours there is a period of time to rest. but before that, there was a clusterfuck of something that was barely content while the merch releases were consistent. either because it was pre-made or because Dan was still living in a rose-colored world thinking that we would buy stuff without content. i'm not sure what i'm arguing here anymore riuehdfsidxkl apologies, i guess it's related to Dan wanting to fuck off. and he CAN. i don't care, 2019 taught me a lesson. (doesn't mean i can't bitch about it <3)

anyway. i understand your struggles with work and degree. basically, i was in the same position after graduating, and now it's even more difficult but i get it. choosing to work part-time, in retail and similar "easy" jobs because you can't deal with the weight of expectations that come with a degree, that's... yeah. an adult reality that no one told us about. i wish you the best, and i hope everything works out well. whatever you decide to do, remember you don't have to use your degree if you don't want to or just don't feel like you can at this moment. you know, getting a fancy "serious" job is such a commitment, bruhh. and you can always walk out of retail :)

Dan would be a brilliant commentary youtuber, you're right! he just knows how to talk and make people listen.

their brand is already fucked, nothing to save here. i mean, Dan and Phil brand doesn't exist. Dan's youtube brand is all over the place. AmazingPhil is the only consistent thing. and yes, it feels like Phil is terrified of shifting in any direction. we're stuck with 2016 content, it's like a real-life time machine on youtube. and if it works for him, fine. i'm just sad that there is no "trying new things" anymore and that he can't even get old successful things back.

i'm not commenting on their relationship because it would be too long. fuck tiktok though. i think dnp jumped to this "new popular" platform with no actual regular content to present as a distraction and that bit them in the ass.

#i'm so sorry #this is a disaster #answered #phandom #wad #??

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sleptwithinthesun · 1 year

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hi this is just c/hicago au with j/onathan talking about Stuff™ soon after they move to chicago? no actual sneezing but a few mentions. 0.7K words i hope you enjoy!! (i hate these setup fics so bear with me until the end of this one because it's SHIT lol)

Jonathan's the last one home on Friday evening, three weeks after they moved into their new apartment in Chicago, which is still unbelievable to him. They'd been talking about it for months, practically since they started living together, mentioning that they wanted to live in a city instead of hopping from town to town, and have finally, finally managed to settle down in an apartment with a lease longer than six months.

The floor of said apartment still boasts a handful of broken-down moving boxes that haven't been shoved into the closet yet, just because they've all been so preoccupied with finding jobs. Thankfully, Nancy and Jonathan managed to land jobs as a journalist and photographer, respectively, at one of the major newspapers for Chicago, and Steve's got something going as a floor manager over at the local department store, the position aided by his solid amount of previous experience in retail.

"Hey, Jon," Steve greets, smiling at his boyfriend as he crouches to unlace his boots. Jonathan returns it, the corners of his lips quirking in that way that he does, the one that's more telling of his happiness than an actual smile is. "Work alright?"

"It was fine," Jonathan says, "for the most part."

Nancy looks up from her book, eyebrows furrowed with concern. "What happened?" She and Jonathan work in wildly different areas of their office building, and rarely see each other unless they're both on break or get to work on the same story.

He shrugs. "Other photographer was in the darkroom while I was, and kept moving in and out to get his stuff because he was completely disorganized, which is really just not conducive to developing photographs." Jonathan sits down on the couch next to Steve, sniffling quietly before adding, "Not to mention the light."

"I keep forgetting about the light thing," Steve says offhandedly, feeling his abdomen tighten with unnecessary excitement. Christ, Jonathan's not even ready to deal with that, not after the first talk they all tried to have. He's pretty sure Jonathan forgot about it entirely, considering that the conversation was more than a year ago, and isn't looking forward to bringing all of that up again.

Jonathan sighs. "It'd be alright if people thought it was normal whenever I tell them that the light makes me sneeze, but instead, they just look at me like I'm crazy."

"I mean, it is kind of a weird thing to have to explain," Nancy says, and clears her throat. Steve can tell that Jonathan's getting to her as well, involuntary as it may be.

Jonathan only shrugs. "I guess."

They lapse into a quiet silence after that, and when Jonathan leaves the room to get a book of his own, Steve moves over to Nancy's side.

"We have to tell him," he says quietly. "If these kinds of conversations become a regular thing, we have to tell him."

Nancy frowns. "We did tell him, back in Indianapolis," she whispers.

"I'm not sure if he remembers that."

"Oh, shit. Yeah, you might be right about that."

"Do we want to tell him?"

"...Not really."

"Nance."

"We can wait!" she hisses, glancing toward the bedroom, where Jonathan currently is. "We can wait. It's fine, Steve, we'll bring it up when the time is right."

He hesitates for a moment, then nods. "Whenever you're ready."

Nancy shoots him a tight-lipped smile, and closes her book and stands just as she and Steve stand up. "I think we have the stuff we need for pork chops," she says, letting their conversation flow seamlessly into a discussion about dinner right when Jonathan walks back into the room. "Would that work?"

"Sounds good," Steve says, then looks up at their boyfriend. "Jon?"

"That's fine," he says, and puts his book down on the couch. "Nancy, do you want help in the kitchen?"

"As long as Steve isn't allowed in, then yes. I don't trust him not to set anything on fire."

"Hey! That was one time."

"One time too many, Harrington," Nancy says with a playful grin, and Steve rolls his eyes before grinning back.

#s/tranger t/hings #s/teve h/arrington #j/onathan b/yers #n/ancy w/heeler #s/toncy #c/hicago au #swts fic

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onward--upward · 1 year

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Hi 🦀🦀 some Weird Asks for you: 18 (leaving it up to you to choose the passage), 25, 36 💞

HELLO BELOVED thank u!! 🦀🦀

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

i am going to take this opportunity to talk about my baby boy avery o'connor from steppin' into fate <3 <3

he has a bunch of spare toothbrushes in his bathroom for when friends stay over, in a variety of colours.

he hates beer (bold and controversial opinion for a hockey player.)

his crush on buck was sooooo obvious that it's a running joke on the Kings' social media. he is never ever escaping the obsessed-with-evan-buckley accusations

when he's a little more settled in the league and has a longer contract he goes out and adopts TWO dogs in the summer break. avery o'connor dog dad CONFIRMED

he absolutely goes out and gets a bf at some point i just haven't decided Whom or When

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice... what do you Know?

excellent question!!! the answer is Not A Whole Lot. I know.... terrible retail jobs? academia? oh!!! i know Hockey, but i've already written about that one!

i know Being Bisexual and Stupid, that's why i gravitate towards evan buckley <3

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Okay this is my favourite question ever!!! I decided to go with the opening to my beloved soulmate AU, stitch my soul, because it was the story that i wrote over the longest period of time so i was interested to go back and see how it changed.

passage and the rest of the answer is under the cut because i don't want to clog up people's dashes <3

from the finished version:

For a long time, the crook of Eddie’s arm read only Ev. For such a long time, even, that his parents sometimes asked him if he was sure it hadn't settled yet. Maybe he had missed the signs. “It could be an unusual name, Eddie,” his mom says one night, when he’s been fighting with Shannon, his girlfriend who isn’t his soulmate, his girlfriend that his parents have never liked very much at all. “Ev. You never know, these days, what people are naming their children.”

“It hasn’t settled,” he’d insisted, because you were supposed to know, when it did. And he’d never felt the shift, the one that you always see in movies when the music swells and everything falls into a sharp focus. There was no click, in his chest, nothing coming together. It just felt… unfinished.

Unsettled.

There are lots of potential reasons that a mark might take a long time to settle into your soulmate’s name. They make it seem like everyone settles right around the time they reach adulthood, but Eddie’s done the research, and he knows that plenty of people don’t settle that early. The experts don’t seem to be able to agree on why it takes longer, for some people. There’s no definitive explanation. And Eddie has never needed one.

Because Shannon shows up on his doorstep at his parents’ house with a positive pregnancy test, and he marries her in a church that his parents pick out, and he enlists in the army because he’s 21 and terrified and he doesn’t have many employable skills. The scrawled Ev on the inside of his forearm doesn’t matter much, in the end, when he’s out there learning to have steady hands and quick problem-solving skills, and practising how to remove a bullet from beneath somebody’s skin. It doesn’t matter much when he’s flying home to cut the umbilical cord and meet his son and then shipping back out to the dust and the sand before any of it really starts to feel real. And he has Shannon – brave, beautiful Shannon. She’s never been his soulmate, and he’s never been hers. But he loves her. And he has Christopher, now, and he loves him, too. And whoever his Ev is, he doubts they would want… all of this, even if he was going to drop everything for them. Which he’s not. So it doesn’t matter. Hasn’t mattered, really, for a long time. He’s not sixteen years old anymore, watching the v fade in, sharp and kind of clumsy, deep black against his skin. He’s not that same kid who was Googling one of those lists that filled in common names to fill out your letters, skimming through them all, breath caught in his throat. Ev is kind of an unusual combination, really – nothing like Adriana’s first two letters, which had come in four days apart, spelling out Ma against her calf, and narrowed absolutely nothing down. Turns out Ev is even rarer when you filter by common names for Eddie’s geographical location. The possibilities used to fill up his head. Eva. Eve. Evelyn.

(Everett. Evan. Evander. He tried to read those ones and forget them, but they lingered just as much. He shoved them to the back of his brain, where they couldn’t quite see the light of day.)

But he isn’t that kid anymore. So he forgets about his letters altogether, for a while. Afghanistan is all his brain has room for, these days, and every spare space left over is filled by Chris. His team brings up soulmates on occasion, the usual locker room ribbing, trying to keep things lighthearted. He listens to cheesy romantic stories from those who’ve already found their match, the whining from those who are unlucky in their search. When the questions turn Eddie’s way, he brushes them off, and they mostly let him be. Nobody wants unhappy stories. There are enough of those out here.

Eddie puts Ev aside.

Christopher gets diagnosed with CP, Shannon is more and more stressed out every time they manage to speak to each other. He sees men and women die beneath his hands, and he wakes up some days to gunfire, and there’s no room anywhere for the little letters on his skin.

now, because i tend to write a lot of my first drafts by hand in notebooks, i actually have the first verison of this! (and my handwriting actually looks nice in this one, yay <3)

when i first wrote this i don't think i really had any idea where i was going with things, i was just thinking: soulmates, eddie's past with shannon, how does that work? and i just kind of sat down and went for it lol.

a lot of this survived to the final version! but it's missing a lot of connective tissue -- it's a much shorter version of the same passage. also i think it's interesting how in the original version i had eddie refering to his soulmate with she/her pronouns, where in the actual fic he always uses they/them even in his own head. this version of eddie i think always knew that his soulmate would be a guy, but shoved that wayyyy down where he didn't have to think about it. but it's one of those things that you do still know, even if you pretend you don't, so i'm glad i took the she/her pronouns out.

anyways i'm actually surprised how cohesive this original version is! a lot of my notebook first drafts include a lot of crossed out lines and false starts, especially if i don't really know where the story is going.

thank you my most beloved, i had wayyyy to much fun with these!!

here are the questions if anyone else wants to hear me ramble about writing <3

#this was SO FUN #sorry about rambling about soulmate au lol idk if anybody cares about my silly first drafts #thank you for the ask frida <3 <3 <3 #my writing #ask games #soulmate au #hockey au #911 fox

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wh0lemilk0vich · 2 years

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ArgyleShirtSupply!Anon again

I did manage to come up with a bit more in the end 🙈🙈🙈

Eventually outfit try-ons are over and Steve feels like he can finally exhale

Eddie eventually gets to the bottom of his haul and disappointingly 3 of the tees, especially 1 Motörhead one that he had been REALLY excited about, don’t exaaactly fit

Not even not fitting in the same ways! As he’d angrily pointed that all out to Steve- one pinched his arms too much, as he’d shown Steve, jiggling and pinching his own arms right up close in Steve’s face, one’s seams were nearly popping! trying to hold Eddie’s width (and Steve is a GOOD!!!BOYFRIEND!! and he was definitely completely sympathetic hearing Eddie complain, and definitely not just completely uselessly turned on and spouting dumb platitudes when Eddie showed THAT off), and the other two were easily too short for Eddies whole belly

Steve, for one, has no complaints! verdict: A+ haul, 5 stars, thank you Argyle, Steve’ll throw in money and extra for the next lot of shirts

But for someone who was as excited as, and who can be as particular as, Eddie…it’s a bit of a bummer.

So now Steve has a slightly bummed, half naked boyfriend standing in front of him, scrutinising himself in the floor length mirror, whole body swaying gently side to side, as he shifts from foot to foot, deep in dejected thought

And Steve hates to say it…but he’s not completely surprised there were some sizing issues. Because his boy hasn’t ever really let up on getting bigger, and they phoned in his sizes to Argyle about 3 weeks ago.

But! Especially seeing Eddie as complete on show, completely well lit and from all angles at once, as Steve’s seen him all evening - zoning in and out, totally riveted by each movement- there’s definitely new movements, new folds and rolls, more inches to pinch and more of Eddie than there was even 3 weeks ago

There’s a horny clinical part of Steve’s brain that has been stuck on that the whole time: the newness of each visual discovery, wondering how it escaped his notice until now! How was he missing what was happening right in front of him. Steve’s already made up his mind that he can’t wait until next T-Short haul to have that thrill of discovery again, decided he needs to know Eddie’s body as much as he can, know every new part of it as soon as he can

But moreso- Eddie’s trying not to be, but he’s let down! His happy moods been kinda spoiled and Steve can’t have that happen again! Not on his watch!

So Steves a bit unsure, bit nervous about what he’s about to do, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. Not sure Eddie will be in the mood for it right now

And Steve is sympathetic, he is, and ok hey this might actually be helpful? and we’ll ok fuck it he’s gonna shoot his shot

He blows out a big audible thoughtful sigh

“Sucks, but you know how it is man, sizes change between different brands and retailers and whatever. You know…really if you’re gonna be ordering stuff flown in like this, numbered sizes probably aren’t gonna be accurate enough for some of the stuff Argyle’ll be picking you up.”

Steve fixes his eyes downwards, purposefully looking at the magazine laying on the bed in front of him, and casually turns a page.

“I mean if you want things ..to fit just right..It’d probably be a better idea if we just gave him your measurements.”

“Hmm?”

And Eddie cocks an eyebrow at himself in the mirror and finally turns to look at Steve for what feels like the first time since they got home. He doesn’t miss that deliberate “we” for a second, but how had he missed what’s been right next to him all night? Coz ok..wow. His boy is looking sweaty, boy is HOT & BOTHERED all alone on that bed. And Steve at that moment looks up, making eye contact with him now, and he’s wearing such a sweet & unassuming but still subtly suggestive smile

and ok Eddie likes this game

So Eddie mimes thinking it over, being coy, rubbing his belly in thought like other ppl might stroke their chin

“Oh! My measurements you think?”

“Yeah it’s probably safest, so you won’t end up with any duds, make sure this doesn’t happen again”

“Smart. You’re so smart Stevie”

“And-and that way If we notice any measurements….change, before you see him again, it’s a just a phone call, we just call and update him”

“If any measurements change you say? hmmmm”

Oh this is fun. Eddie makes sure to stay demure & thoughtful-faced, playing up how he’s considering his boyfriends smart! and helpful! solution, and he turns his gaze down to look at his massive belly, stroking and grabbing at different parts of it with both hands, making sure to create pleeenty of up and down movement for Steve’s benefit

“I guess you’re right. It’s not a bad idea. Especially with how big this thing is getting.”

He lifts his belly and drops it, not missing Steve’s sharp inhale

“Yeah Yknow baby, it can just be sooo hard to tell once you’re as big as I am! I already feel so huge, like alll over, I don’t even notice it anymore when I get even bigger! It just kinda happens when you eat like I do”

And damn if steve isn’t salivating.

But Eddie puts his finger to pudgy chin in thought at this point

“But wait a minute! To keep track of changes? What it sounds like to me, is your suggesting I be measured on a fairly regular basis?”

And Ohoho yep Steve definitely rutting against his own jeans m, subtle movement sliding him up and down the bed

“It’s a thought.”

And Eddie goes all out on the theatrics for the end play, looks backs to the mirror, twisting and turning this way and that, watching Steve watch his love handles and belly repeatedly bunch up against each other

“But I dunno, I mean Stevie…I really am such a fatty now. Think it might even be tough for me to hold a tape measure round this whole thing myself! I don’t know what to do!”

Steve’s beat red and just blurts out

“I mean! I sh-w-would-i’ll can-me I can do that…for you”

Eddie clasps his hands over his heart, turns around and bats his big eyes at his boyfriend

“Ohhhh you would do that *for me*?”

And the theatrical faux gratefulness Eddie puts on is the final straw coz Steve just breaks into the biggest shit eating grin, and starts giggling and Eddie’s laughing too now, hands on hips

“Steven Harrington, you kinky shit!”

And thus the story of how relaxing, letting go of jealousy and opening himself up to new friendships lead Steve to realise that he may have a bit of a numbers kink

The knowing, stalking, keen and predatory way Eddie gets when he learns a partner's kinks is just ugh so delicious. Eddie gets off on getting Steve off, so he's super duper going to indulge this and play it up. Finding out Steve had a chubby kink for the first time was already a huge win cause it meant he could eat whatever he wanted, as much as he wanted, even more because turns out getting bigger just gets Harrington harder.

This though, this is a little more intellectual, so he has to think of fun ways to tease Steve with it. Like Steve takes all his measurements right? So Steve gets a thigh measurement and Eddie's like

"Hey, what's your waist measurement again, Stevie? Huh, wow would you look at that, looks like my thigh's almost the size of your waist. Isn't that interesting Stevie?"

Eddie wanting to compare their measurements to see how many Steves he is haha

#chubby eddie munson #chaser steve harrington #steddie #numbers kink #👕 anon

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endternal · 1 year

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lee taemin. nonbinary. he/him. asexual. ⇝ hey, isn’t that karam shin ( nickname: eden )? i think that the thirty year old from redacted works as a florist at the flower basket; toxicologist for the grim fox, but outside of that people describe them as the reflection of the moon over rippling water, a bubbling stream lapping against the rocks and the cool spray of the river; hands running through hair, nails digging into skin, a lonely figure hunched over in an empty room. i hear they are solitary & unusual, but they are also known to be intelligent & unswerving. consider giving them a visit at their home in the seal harbor apartment complex and get to know why they’re called the restless spirit.

IMPORTANT LINKS: will be added when they're ready !

IMPORTANT: Karam is nonbinary. His general presentation is sort of androgynous but he certainly does not identify as a man so please don't refer to him as one! (boy is okay, so long as it's not being used to infantalise, and anything a little more grey area (e.g; dude and guy and so on) is generally fine). He uses he/him pronouns solely because he's used to them and he's a little resistant to change. He does not mind being referred to as they/them but he doesn't personally make use of those pronouns.

BASICS

The first thing most people will pick up about Karam is that he isn't very talkative, nor is he very emotive. He's not incapable of emoting and he's certainly not emotionless but he's not especially good at expressing himself (particularly in a way that's useful to other people) so he doesn't bother. As for talking, he just doesn't feel like it most of time. There are times where he might talk about something at length but, for the most part, he keeps it to a minimum. This means he has a habit of being quite blunt and curt but it doesn't really bother him, even if it bothers other people. (That said, he doesn't speak in a monotone; the way he speaks is quite measured but that's about it.) He's more expressive and more talkative around people he genuinely likes.

However, the people he genuinely likes are few and far between. Karam is, overall, very untrusting. He is especially untrusting of people who aren't fellow miroir and, because there is, for the most part, no immediate to separate the miroir from everybody else, there is nobody he instinctively trusts. He is hyperaware of his status as a miroir and the fact that people would likely fear or hate him if they knew the truth about what he was.

Karam has a deep affinity for nature. His whole upbringing was spent among nature. There are times where he'd rather be among the trees than other people. This is precisely why he's taken up work as a florist. He's not made for retail at all and his customer service skills are non-existent but being around plants all day puts his mind at ease.

He knows a lot about plants (and other stuff like wildlife, rocks, water, whatever else) and even more about which plants can definitely kill you. Actually, he just knows a lot about poison in general. You can pin that one on the whole toxicologist thing.

Absolutely one of those people who will sneak up and appear behind you when they want to talk and freak you The Fuck out. As in, you won’t hear him coming and he won’t announce himself. He’ll just show up and you won’t notice him until you turn around. And, no matter how often he’s told, he’s not going to understand that’s it maybe not a regular thing to do (or, at the very least, he might try to understand but he’s not going to take it on board).

Karam is autistic. Not diagnosed. (yes, a second autistic phoebe oc.....gotta make ur own representation around here <3 although tbh, i did not plan on writing karam as autistic. he just ended up extremely autistic-coded and i decided to commit :D ) HOWEVER!! I want to be clear that the references later in this post to Karam being very good at memorising a lot of information should not be seen as some kind of Autistic Savant stereotype. Karam is very smart but he's not some kind of cartoonish genius. He also straight up sucks at retaining information he doesn't care about.

Likes to feed the rats living in the Seal Harbor apartment complex. Nobody's caught him doing it as of yet but the Mysterious Rat Feeder isn't popular with his neighbours.

Karam hates loud and busy places and will avoid them. Maybe not at all costs but fervently enough. He just finds them VERY overwhelming.

Spent the first part of his life outside of the Grim Fox homeless. He can't remember how long it was because he never kept count. He got by as best he could by living on the streets and stealing food.

He is also asexual, largely because I just can't see him caring about sex. He's not sex-repulsed, just disinterested. I'm not sure quite where he falls with regards to romantic attraction but it's probably somewhere between biromantic and aromantic; it's not something I've had a chance to explore yet but he's also not particularly interested in that either.

BACKSTORY (tw: death, murder, v brief vomit mention)

a fair note in advance, most of this is written in a deliberately vague and cryptic way. i know this isn't the most accessible way of delivering info about a character but karam's backstory is meant to be a little unclear! it's also very much subject to change as i work stuff out!

He has no delusions about what he is. His face isn't his own, his body isn't his own, his DNA is not his own. He's a twisted reflection of some distant unfortunate but the image in the mirror is too sharp. Sharpened to the point of distortion, in fact. But what is his own is his name; Karam. The nickname 'Eden' was granted to him as a matter of necessity but Karam was entirely his own. Who knows what the Original's name was? Who cares? The name Karam is his own. A marker of his own identity. Abandoned and tossed aside, Karam has no plans to step into a life unknown to him. Karam, an old Korean word meaning river. Nothing is static, only fluid. Ever-flowing. (He had asked his handler if he could choose own name. They had taken pity on him and allowed it; he was just a clone, he wasn't meant to have a life of his own so it was the least they could offer him.)

There is very little, in fact, that Karam knows about the person he was intended to replace. They were not very old, just a child, when they vanished. There was no history for Karam to learn, nobody for him to imitate. The fake has outlived the genuine. What little details Karam had known have long since slipped through his fingers, replaced only with the harrowing knowledge that he shouldn't exist. That he's different. Do people look at him strangely? Do they suspect him? No, they have know way of knowing the truth. But, if they did know, wouldn't they hate him? Would they even see him as a person? Or just the ghost of a child who was never supposed to grow up?

He'd been raised as a toxicologist, adept in all sorts of poisonings. Subtle. Showy. Painless. Agonising. Natural. Chemical. They'd decided that his talent for quick memorisation, his ability to absorb information, had made him perfect for the job. You wouldn't necessarily know it to look at him but in that head of his is a seemingly endless list of ways to kill a person. He might even tell you so, not that you'd believe him. A pretty boy like that, knowing such dreadful things? Surely not. (Don't pay too much attention to the boy at the flower shop, he's a little strange.)

He was deployed as a toxicologist too. Was even active for a good while. Karam has a body count and he can't quite remember the exact number. There was never any reason to, he was just following orders. Didn't even flinch when he watched, from a safe and hidden distance, as his mark choked on his own vomit. Karam was good at his work. He may have been a fraud of a person but he was a genuine toxicologist and he excelled in his work. (The more time he spends in Anchorage, the more the numb sting of guilt starts to burn in the back of throat; back then, he'd never thought of his targets as people because he'd been so cut off from the rest of the world but being forced to live in the real world has put things into perspective.)

Suddenly, it all stops. Orders that used to trickle in like raindrops dried up; a drought of purpose. He's not useful anymore. He's nothing. His whole life had been built on strict rules and a particularly routine, and it had all fallen apart before he could make sense of it. They'd left him out in the cold, thrown him aside like an unwanted plaything. And yet he was too detached from reality to hate them or even feel angry. He was only afraid. It did not take him long to learn that there was no place for somebody like him in the real world. Because he knew himself to be an outcast, he immediately fell in with the wrong crowds. Did things he shouldn't. He was young, lost and confused.

But he was found one night, lying sprawled out on the concrete and barely conscious, by a kind and unexpected stranger. They took him back to their place, helped clean him up. They let him stay a while, because he had no home to go to, and helped him get a job at the flower shop. And, then, when he had the money to rent his own place, they let him leave. He had been a distant guest, mostly keeping to himself and revealing very little of his own history but he had been grateful for their help, even if he had never been able to show it. (will probably submit this as a wanted connection at some point!)

Although he does his best to pretend otherwise, Karam never quite adjusted to his new life. Assimilation hasn't come easy to him. He still thinks himself an outsider, a ghost amongst the crowds. A glitch in the system. He likes to leave the city, from time to time, to explore the wilderness and woodlands of the region. He feels grounded there, away from people. There's no judgement there amongst the trees. No shame, no guilt, no hopelessness.

His work at the flower shop is not all that fulfilling and he feels like there's still a great big cavity in his chest; his expansive knowledge of flora is put to good use but he doesn't feel as though he's doing anything. And it makes him feel restless.

Please note that this character is not just a character I've been writing for a while (since 2019) but actually an alternate take on that character. In his original storyline, Karam isn't actually human. I thought it'd be fun to write him in setting anyway so this is kind of a human AU for him? This isn't really smth anybody else needs to keep in mind but [lease be patient with me if it takes me a minute to make everything work with this version!

#« 𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐌 » / 「 intro. 」#anchorintro #hopefully this all makes enough sense!#it might be a little weird and rambly bc my brain is a little scrambled #and hopefully nothing here disrupts the established miroir lore! (i left his childhood very vague for that exact reason)

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twopoppies · 1 year

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Can I have some career advice please Gina?

I am a retail manager and have just left one company for another company since the pay was better. I’ve been working there for two months and I don’t mind it but I have massive imposter syndrome as it’s a huge store on a major city high street with a team of 30 staff. I am anxious a few times a day and my direct boss is a bit cold although I think that’s just her personality. My old company have just called me and offered to match the salary if I come back and I don’t know what to do. On the one hand it’s almost like the same money for less responsibility as it’s a smaller store with a smaller team, but that also means there’s no room for progression. I also feel really weird about leaving this job after only 2 months as although it makes me anxious I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt that I’m still settling in.

What should I do? Go somewhere comfortable? Or stick with the new job and hope it gets better and that I can keep working my way up? If they’d offered me the better pay before I left I probably would’ve stayed but I hate quitting jobs lol.

Hi sweetheart. So, at the end of the day, you’re the only one that can really make the call. But, without knowing anything else about your situation these are the first things that come to mind.

First, the fact that your previous job wants you back and they’re willing to pay the same salary shows that you are completely competent and able to do what you’re doing at the big chain store. I don’t think they would have hired you at the new job if they were concerned about your capabilities. imposter syndrome is a super common thing for so many people. You probably need to make a decision fairly quickly, but it would be helpful for you in the long run to look into why this is happening for you.

Beyond that, if you want to stay in retail, will your prior job look as good on your résumé as the one you’re currently in? Are you otherwise happy at the current job? Is there anyone you can talk to to get feedback on how you are doing? Is there anything you could change about the current job that would make it less anxiety provoking? My guess is if they had any concerns about your abilities they would have already brought it up to you.

The other thing is, some people stay in a job that is secure and comfortable and low stress, and they are fine with that being “just a job”. And then they make the rest of their life as fulfilling and creative as they might want. if you want a career in this field, I guess my question is will you be hampering your chances over the long run by giving up this opportunity to stay at the present job? That is, if it turns out you really don’t like the new company, will it be easier to get something else having been there even for a few months?

If anyone else has more/different advice for this anon, feel free to chime in.

#career advice anon

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kissed--byfire · 11 months

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I'm not even able to verbalize how fucking stressed I am.

1.) My ex girlfriend called! That's been a shitshow! Because the end of our relationship was a major shitshow, and a huge turning point in my life that ended up with me abused and pregnant! I'm past that bit now (been 14 years since I last talk to her, 12ish since my abusive ex left me) but she wants to be friends again and while idk we might be able to get there, she's pushing me too fast, and now I gotta worry about handling that.

2.) My grandpa is dying! I have to help out the family deal with it because most of us are disabled in some way and all of us are poor and struggling, plus managing my grief and the grief of my child, who is not dealing with this well!

3.) My child is currently high support needs! They were traumatized last year, and is still dealing with the death of their great-great-grandmother six years ago. They have been in and out of behavioral health care facilities and they are only 12! They go to therapy twice a week! I have to very carefully manage both of our mental health!

4.) My work (retail, already a stressful and difficult job) has a new boss, and I hate her! She stresses me out and hits quite a few of my PTSD triggers! Also, she might be taking away my disability accommodations!

5.) My mother is fucking up her life by ignoring the things that make her anxious and creating bigger problems, of which I have to help her climb out of! She may have to move away to live out of state before her dad passes away because of it! I have to clean up her messes!

6.) My kidney hurts! I don't know why! It's been a persistent ache in my back for two weeks! I don't have the energy to deal with it!

7.) Our finances aren't looking too good! I should be on disability and food stamps but it's hard getting qualified for that! We are broke but I can't pick up more hours because of the needs of my family!

8.) I feel like I can't even fandom right. Don't ship the "correct" ship, ship a canon character with a female oc, am excited about an upcoming project that everyone else in the fandom is at best stressing over, at worst completely shitting on.

This isn't even going into the fact that I am disabled with fibromyalgia and PTSD+, and my day-to-day is difficult enough! I do the majority of the housework and childrearing.

I can't tell you how much I just want to sit and cry.

#sometimes i just want someone to take me out behind the shed #and do an ol' yeller

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joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh · 8 months

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Well, we're one day out from Sonic Superstars releasing officially. "Officially" because we're in the era of games leaking early and the entire things getting uploaded online and then assholes happily posting entire game spoilers untagged in their twitter pictures or youtube thumbnails and the like for no other purpose than to drive engagement and be cunts, the days of the actual pre-release hype cycle are fucking numbered bros.

That aside though! Just gonna post some final pre-release thoughts I suppose. The main thing I can say is I kinda wish I was a bit more excited about this game. It's doing some cool stuff - the Chaos Emerald abilities seem nice, I'm glad Fang is actually back, Trip seems super cute, Amy is here, and we learned pretty quickly that the physics are like 1:1 Mania or something so we know it'll control well - but idk in terms of actual excitement something about this game just seems super like, safe to me? I guess? And consequently I'm less outright excited and more "oh sure a new 2D Sonic game". I don't think Mania existing helped its case either, because thanks to it we've seen "Sonic returns to his 2D classic roots and it's super kino" already. And that one cost less than half the price! Nothing against 2D games being full price and the people arguing otherwise seem pretty dumb to me but it does feel weird seeing Mania be like £20 and Superstars be like £60 and all that. Superstars hurting its own case more with preorder bonuses and retailer exclusive skins and digital deluxe editions and all that modern "we the games industry fucking hate consumers" bullshit. Sigh. Though all that stuff is a little beyond how the actual experience of playing the game itself is gonna go lol, so we're gonna ignore it again. As I was saying, just not quite as excited for this game as I was for Mania or literally any 3D title either. And I don't think it's just me, Frontiers' third update had more hype drumming up around it than Superstars. I think myself and many others, even without having played Superstars, just don't really expect to be surprised by it, if that makes sense. We'll play it, we'll like it, we'll replay it, we might even fuck around with the multiplayer stuff. But I don't really know how much more I expect. Think it's especially a bummer when we learned they were considering a 2D handdrawn art style so learning they went for the art design they ended up going for makes it even more of a bummer lol.

Oh well, it is what it is. I hope this goes without saying but pre-release anticipation and hype cycles and actual final game quality aren't really related at all, like, ever. Which is to say that I might still really love Superstars even if I wasn't strictly like over the moon excited to play it. It's just a case of waiting and seeing, really.

#sonic #16.10.23

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niamhuncensored · 1 year

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Whats Fantasticland about?

SO GLAD YOU ASKED (this summary does contain some spoilers btw) Fantasticland is a book about a few hundred theme park employees, most of them teens and college students, who are trapped by a hurricane into a knockoff disneyland. it's formatted as a series of interviews. Quickly after leaving the park's storm shelters, one of them dies/is killed and this causes them to splinter into a handful of factions which the book calls "tribes" but i think should probably be called literally anything else.

The park is split into a number of different regions to accommodate different kids, so the factions take those up as territories and name themselves accordingly.

The factions are

The Deadpools. They stick to the Hero Haven and use improvised weapons.

The Pirates. Stay in the pirate cove under one of the rides. use swords, guns (iirc), and at one point a cannon. they kidnap and kill people for various reasons. The clear aggressors.

The molemen. Maintenance people who holed up in the tunnels under the park (just in case you forgot this was disneyland.) mostly keep to themselves.

The Freaks. They stick to the World circus. use traps and improvised weapons. They used halloween decorations and stories to keep everyone else out.

The fairies/pixies. stuck to the fairy prairie. decimated by the pirates, due to their disorganization.

The Robots. no fucking clue. they're not mentioned beyond the fact they exist. in fantastic future world.

The shop girls. protecting the shops on the golden road. use bows and arrows and improvised weapons.

the whole book takes place over 34 days from storm to rescue, but it's never entirely clear what's happening when. You get a vague sense, mainly, and you can kind of track it by body decomposition (not kidding), but it's wishy-washy. i guess that's natural, given the format.

The thesis statement, by the end of it, is mostly "These damn kids and their iphones" with a sprinkling of "the media and people in general are assholes who profit off of suffering."

AND IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTER

The existence of one clear aggressor makes the timeline work. kind of. Because i don't think it would have become omni-directional warfare in a month, especially when A.) there is explicitly enough resources to go around and B.) everyone is so far apart (at one point a character says that you could scream bloody murder in one part of the park and not hear it in another) that they're unlikely to bother each other.

So like. it works kinda. but it doesn't serve their purpose or the story! If you're going for moral ambiguity and "are any of these kids actually Bad and Violent or are they just in an extreme situation", don't have one group provoke everything! Just make it last longer!

And if you make it last longer, you could have each group develop more of an identity based on the skills their terrain would require. Pirates are already brutal and have a literal code of honor. The deadpools could be very strong and good at parkour. The shop girls could still be badass archers but might actually fight less, since they worked retail and developed some deescalation tactics. The fairies could use poisons. the freaks could be acrobatic when they need to be. The robots could have homemade tazers or some shit. Just any kind of identity beyond the aesthetic.

and the theme is really fucking annoying holy shit. how many times have we heard some variation of "Kids are glued to their phones and this is morally corrupt"?

and btw in situations like this, people generally work together.

All in all a 4/10 hated every word mandatory reading. I feel like i just ate mashed potatoes with no butter milk or salt. cannot stop thinking about how much better or at least more fun it could have been.

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