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nightsweatsx · 1 year

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I let love in, I let love in

You’re thirty one years old, just got out of a five month relationship, you’re convinced it was the best relationship you’ve had in your entire life. You base this off the sure fact that you haven’t once shown any of your insecurities, that you believe do not exist anymore, because hey, you spent the last six years ‘working on yourself, hindsight, you didn’t work on yourself.

You instead, spent the last six years, single, sending nude photographs almost to anyone you found attractive, getting black out drunk only once in a year, so that was pretty good considering you would do it almost monthly previously, there it is ‘growth’.

You decided to be more frivolous with posting nude photos of yourself to your social media, such as instagram, as a front that your weight gain was valid, ‘my body is beautiful, it is made this way, it’s called genetics hun, maybe my body is like this because of that? Can’t help it’, Crosses the street to the dairy for my dose of blood spiking levels of sugar with a Red Bull and a Cookie Time ‘it’s cool babes, I eat this, because I want it, I am not going to feel guilt after eating this, because I don’t associate the word guilt with food’.

Two years later, blood tests came in, along with a phone call from the nurse “you better come in, it’s pre-diabetes, you gotta stop with the red bulls love”. The denial was massive, so massive, you send a complaint to the Health & Disability Commissioner that your doctor did a secret hbA1c test with your other blood test, because everytime she has seen you, she points at you and turns her face upside and groans “you’ve put on weight, haven’t you?”

You caught me doctor! The blood tests don’t lie! Weight gain has caused the pre-diabetes!

You read right, six years of being single. It’s good to be on your own, to sit with your own thoughts, and company. If you can’t do that, there is something wrong with you. That’s not true at all, most people do find this difficult, and that’s fair, society is always teaching us that being alone is not fun, especially Coca Cola adverts, never see anyone just lying in their bed with their laptop pulled up to their chin, cracking open a cold Coke Zero and sipping on it making sure it doesn’t spill out the side of your mouth, down your cheek and to the back of your neck, never, it’s always laughing, jumping around, on the beach, yahoo, even chuck in an inflatable ball, the beach and a coke with my friends!

Being single was a choice, but it got the point of, you’re single because you’re actively avoiding emotions. Feelings are too much, because you always acted out when those feelings became heightened, there was no mindfulness, no wise mind in place, just full reactionary blow outs. You increasingly become more aware of this avoidance, that you begin to let yourself become a little vulnerable. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds song ‘I Let Love In’ chimes in, reminding you that you may indeed allow love back into your life. You get a tattoo of Robbie Williams with the words “I just wanna feel” on your leg, to remind yourself, it is going to be okay, if I allow myself to endure this. You are in control!

How embarrassing to find that you allow these feelings to enter your life again, and when a moment is taken out of your control, and you are not being provided with the answers you want to hear, you lose it? You absolutely lose it. You’re back to square one, back to the six years previously, of being reactionary, obsessed, jealous, insecure! All that growth, gone!

Was it growth though? Or were you just avoiding any chance of these insecurities coming out again to show its awful face, to show who you really are. You didn’t actively deal with those insecurities, you covered them up, by taking your clothes off, posing in front of the camera, showing the world you were fat and proud, shovelling copious amounts of food down your throat that you disguised as ‘intuitive eating’, being single was badass, because you know what they say “a woman don’t need no man, she independent” fuck you Beyonce.

The more you type this down, you begin having revelations, oh, that’s possibly a panic attack coming.

It wasn’t a panic attack, your panic attacks don’t work like that, yours just pop up when you’re doing nothing, not looking in the mirror, truly looking at yourself, who even are you anymore? You convince yourself you’re crazy now, your ex doesn’t want you back again, because of all this crazy! Not because they are dealing with something incredibly stressful that may have been caused by their own actions. Ah, get back on track, don’t resort to it Sarah, get back to the realising things about yourself.

I look at the drawing on my wall, of a grim reaper, wearing a cloak covered in red hearts, and above is written ‘I LET LOVE IN’, was it my mistake that I read this and assumed “I let someone else come into my life with love” or should I have read it as, I let love in, for myself, from myself.

#iletlovein #cathartic #nightsweats

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enha-woodzies · 3 years

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this is a mutuals mention game! u need to mention one or more mutuals that come to your mind at first when you read the following words (per word): flower, angel, love, chocolate, sweet, cute, gorgeous, fun, sun, moon and stars 💓

it's been a while since i've got another one of these... and i know i should just tag my moots but i can't go on without stating why cos there are valid reasons as to why i've thought of them that way. soo,, here we go~

🌼 flower :: @berrywoo i can't stress this enough you've always been a flower to me besides your name ofc and you're an icon of growth and genuine beauty. no matter how much people trample down on you, you still rise up with strength and beauty and humility. you show them your true self and how we all can be very vulnerable despite feeling all sunshine-y and you definitely put them where they rightfully belong. words can't even explain how pure you are 😘 i just love you so much

👼 angel :: @fluffi ayee pumpkin~ ma child <33 always exuding a bright beam of light and softness, a precious lil one 🥺 goal-directed and driven and what else? needs no effort to brighten up your day, it's just so easy with her that you'll end your day always full and happy :))) mwaa

❤️ love :: @en-amours besides the url lol i love how jo and i can go deep into our conversations and talking with her always makes me feel this kind of depth and solace + this sentimental vibe where just a mere presence of her can totally make you feel at ease. jo always have a lot to say abt things but they're usually not the general knowledge that you'll get from her. her words and sentiments often carry a lot of emotions and meanings. she's so raw with her thoughts and i loooveee that so much. i know we still have a long way to go to build up a much tighter bond but i can already say these with ease cos jo, you are a gem and i'm always in awe and in comfort talking to you 💛

🍫 chocolate :: @jakeysim gill, my babyghorl, she reminds me of chocolate mainly because she has a lot of energy and emotions 一 like a chocolate 🙃 you get that feeling when you take a bite off a chocolate bar and you suddenly feel a rush of different sweetness at once? like it may not look like it has a lot to offer but when you indulge yourself in it, you get a whole package maam. you get what i mean? like she's more than what meets the eye. she's not the typical "what you see is what you get" cos she's a WHOLE lot more 😉

🍭 sweet :: @en-sun wifey <33 ohh nani 🥺 mi precious luvv, always so supportive and sweet and thoughtful ughh might have ants biting me soon cos she hella saccharine sweet my teeth cant even >< she never fails to brighten up my day even when she was still my adorable emoji anon 🥺 she's just ultimately friendly and genuine, man

🧸 cute :: @chuunie aaaaa yuriii my other unofficial child lmao very very supportive and energetic and ofc, i cant leave adorable out now, can i? this loving being pls i feel like yuri's pretty jumpy in person and i would just shower this little cutie with lotsa hugs right away. cuddles >>> & @vrsace-niki my babykins!! very endearing and genuine 🥺 literally feel like biting or pinching your cheeks everytime we talk oh god cmere childddd i wanna wrap you up like a burrito and hug you so tight with my legs around your burrito body 😭

✨ gorgeous :: @entypens ooohh angel, my my, dont get me wrong all of my mooties are exceptionally gorg she a beaut and a gem, ya girl be slayin' all day and i'll be like "damn, that's my girl right there" proud mom right here yall !! at this point i cant keep track of how many children i have on this hellsite JFBHS

🤪 fun :: @soyatenada bee !! this person right here maam. very enthusiastic when her interactive mode's on. she's very analytical and deep too! such a great listener and a person with heaps of genuine feedbacks and advices. very curious and exciting like maam, your energy bar pls take it slow imma have to catch up JFHHS

☀️ sun :: @angeljungwon haziebub! she just exudes warmth and comfort 😌 it feels so easy and relaxing talking to hazel, like you can approach her at any time of the day and scream at her about something that made your stomach do backflips ykwim babe 😉 and she would immediately ride in the vibe and get along with your silliness or whatever... until the vibe dies out cos my energy is very limited pls im a hag

🌙 moon :: @miffythoughts eyyy miffy~ i totally loveeee miffy's appreciation to the wonderful, little things in life. i get that a lot of people do cos i myself adore little things as much as yall can imagine but there's something with the way miffy portrays those details and emotions. she just gets that feeling and i am in awe of how intricate she goes into describing these beauties. she's very deep and beautiful, inside and out. she knows what she's doing and what she's talking about and just... w o w her mind ykno 🤯 i kinda wanna live there rent free even just for a day. lemme peek through those intricacies you mold into masterpieces hun !!

🌟 stars :: @serendipitysung andiii, ma lifesaver andi HAHA andi sure is a bright jewel. she seems timid sometimes and in other times, she's loud. but she's just right 😉 she doesn't say much but you'll always have this sense of security and safety cos you know she's just right there beside you, no words needed to let you know that. i enjoy her feedbacks and appreciation and support towards my writing endeavors and how she's always so nice it feels like she embraces you in warmth and comfort that you just wanna snurfle under her chin and stay there because dang, feels so homey might wanna camp in here along with the sweetest aroma from fragrant candles surrounding around <33

#thank you anon this was really fun!!!#cutee.mail 💌#tag games #moot.moots ✨

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t-lostinworlds · 3 years

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thought process with torn leaves, broken hearts??? 💗 when you said you came up with the idea, where did it all start from? 💗🥰

hello hun! and well, it genuinely was just some random thing that popped into my head asdfghjkl. how it happened i'll explain under the cut because 1) its long because yes to essays and 2) spoilers aha

well, i do have my own plants right now that i've grown starting last April. and most ideas come to me when i'm close to going asleep a.k.a when i'm practically daydreaming/making up scenarios in my head at 4AM lmao. and i was feeling a bit :// that time and when that happens the scenes in my head are usually sad turned to comfort to like help me vent in some way and make me feel better.

so anyways, was laying in bed and the thought "what if someone destroyed your plants" and that hurt to even just think about because they're my babies but then the whole "what if someone important to you destroyed your plants" and that hurt even more and for some reason Tom with a golf club just came into my head and i just went---wait, hold up, that shit hurted™️ so you better write that down.

at first i just kept hold of the idea because i wasn't sure if people would be interested because not many people are keen on plants and planting on general but then i thought of a wonderful way to connect the plants or to mirror it with their relationship so here we are. ++ i actually dreamed of that particular scene as well but it was me with a golf club and destroying everything and i woke up with a bit of tears and a heavy heart and i just knew i had to write it.

at first i was going to make it quick and just jump straight to that heartbreaking part but then i figured that it would feel...cheap almost? like it wouldn't hurt as much compared to seeing them grow so i decided to start from the very first step which was reader taking the seeds out from the fruits. so while you get to bond with tom and the reader, you get to also see the plants grow and hopefully bond with them as well or just at least see their importance to make it hurt more when they get destroyed. (which make me sounds so evil but hey it worked asdfghjkl) so it was mainly starting from the seed and their growth and then i just added some cute, fluff, domestic scenes to show the reader and tom's relationship and their love for each other all while incorporating it with the plants (i.e. the supermarket, tom giving her water, tom building their little house, and then reader watering the plants which led to them having a convo about the future etc). so in some way, the plants also helped tom and reader grow and bond even more ++ their love and care for each other also helped the plants get a house and also, grow healthier. it's like a win-win on both sides. like a...i forgot the term of it in nature but they helped each other somewhat.

also! no one has pointed this yet but i wanted to show the contrast between tom after playing a great round of golf vs tom after playing an awful round of golf. hence why at the start you see him all smiley and all lovey-dovey with here because he's in a good mood since he just got a whole in one and had a great performance. cut to the climax of the fic where he played badly twice and you get to see how his mood is bitter and bitchy and what not. like i wanted to show how different a person can be when they're at their highest and when they're at the their lowest ++ when there's just too much emotions, in this case, anger. you see this with the reader as well how she's understanding of him and his love for the sport at the start and encourages him but because she wasn't in her best mental headspace that night ++ overwhelmed with emotions as well, things just went wrong real quick. kinda how i said that reader being at her lowest too was a gas to tom's flame (anger) instead of the fire extinguisher he's used to when he comes home all gloomy.

as for resolving it...it was a little hard since i was so mad at tom lol so i was tempted to just end it in angst but i figured that one bad moments doesn't negate all the best moments they had together in a sense? so i just let them cool off, give for both sides to reflect ++ give tom the time to realize the things he'd done and fix as much as as he could with her plants but also!! to give the plants to heal and grow a little bit to reflect their relationship too. and then i'll let them talk because it was needed to talk things through rather than jump back in as if nothing happened. hence that ending.

but yeah! that's basically it ahaha. just strings of ideas sewn together into this whole 18k fic. and i'm really happy how it turned out ++ it's getting an overwhelming amount of support which is so crazy to me right now so thank you <333333

#wow #i really do talk a lot asdfghjkl #but thank you for sending this in love!!#i enjoy talking about my fics so thank you!!#answered: anon #answered asks

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fan-dumb-trash · 5 years

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For your consideration: Remile Friends-to-Lovers featuring highschool theater shenanigans and self growth

Part Two Sis Part Three Part Four

Remy and Emile are friends, best friends in fact, but fate has a couple tricks up her sleeve to tear them apart, only to bring them back again.

This got longer than expected but theres more to the story after this oh yes indeed so buckle up cause part two is gonna be typed tomorrow when it isnt one in the morning so HERE YA GO @happiness-is-regret

Warnings: Divorce, parents fighting, mild panic attack, self depreciation, if there's more let me know!

So its seventh grade aka awkward central because puberty and acne and awkwardness and it's just awful all around and theres lil Remy who is NOT confident at all by anyone's standards

His parents argue a lot and he learned staying quiet is the best way not to get involved or yelled at in the crossfire so yeah

And then you got Emilie who kinda knows what's goin on but not really. He wears tie dye shirts and aviator glasses sometimes until he had to get actual frames over the summer but it was no big cause he was used to glasses anyways

But Emilie is wiser than the other kids and thinks cliques are stupid and he just loves cartoons and english okay stop teasing him for being a lil bit awkward okay STOp

But yeah he doesn't get friends easy and he tries to squirm in other friend groups but it doesn't feel right. Until Remy. Who is incredibly shy believe it or not! They have no classes together but somehow Remy mustered the courage to compliment Emilies pink hair and BOOM FRIENDSHIP

They eat lunch together. Some days it's in comfortable silence and other times its complaining about teachers or PE miles or this brat kid who vandalized a bathroom stall

And Remy starts warming up and realizing maybe the whole world isn't against him. Just because his home is a literal war zone doesn't mean being friends with Emile is doomed.

At the end of seventh grade the duos lunchtime friendship is going great! Emile is starting to get into cartoons and their convos are “OMG OKAY SO VOLTRON SEASON 2 IS OUT AND IM SCARED REMY I WANT TO CRY FOR MY SPACE CHILDREN ZARKON CAN YEET HIMSELF OFF A CLIFF AND-” “Woah their Em, slow it down sis”

As Remy gets more comfortable there is more teasing and nicknames and laughing but they dont hug and Emile isn't super affectionate but hugs are a thing for friends right???

One day on a weekend it's pretty bad for Remy at home. His parents are yelling and its loud and his breathings picking up and his eyes are shut and he's crying because is it his fault??? Why can't they stop stop stop STOP!

And he has to get out because he cant take it hearing they two people who he loves most fight with each other when they are supposed to love each other and his little brother Janus is sleeping thank god but he needs OUT right fucking now

So he hops out his window and runs. Two houses down and around the corner there's an open field that should probably have a house or a park but low income neighborhoods be like that sometimes ya know?

He runs in the field but then there's trees and a little path but wheres the end and the sun is setting now so he sits and looks at the sky and cries

Emile likes his peace and quiet. Hes and only child but his house gets cluttered with his parents (DOT AND LARRY FITE ME) and their thespian friends on the weekends especially around showtime and tec week so he walks in the field.

So when he comes across Remy he screeches and cusses and they're both apologizing and it's a mess but wait was Remy crying?!?!

So Emile is concerned and sits him back down and they talk. Remy says his parents are probably going to get a divorce and how they've been fighting and all that and Emile starts to understand why he's so sheltered

Remy's crying again so Emile asks “Hey, You can say no but can i hug you?” And Remy nods so they hug and they melt right into itm and they stay there for a while and watch the sunset.

From then on they are attached to the hip. Nothing can separate them. Emile invites Remy over for dinner and out to see his parents shows at the community theater and its fun! Remy kinda gets to be a kid and he has sas now! He sees its okay to be a bit absurd with Larry and how jokes are fine with Dot.

The boys are in the field again after dinner and Emile is talking about Dot and Larry, and Remy cant help but be envious. They're all so happy and perfect and he’ll never get that. He goes home and the glitter fades and he sleeps with music to drown out the shouting but its still there.

Remy says “I wish my parents were like yours. I wish I had that. It's not fucking fair Em”

Emile says “I wish I knew how to help… but I can't. All I can do is offer you a slice of normal and hope you aren't allergic” To which they both laugh. But the insecurity sticks. Remy wonders if he's just going to mess things up later or if him and Emile stop being friends what will happen

And it haunts him. Its summer and his parents get a divorce, but the yelling in person is replaced with battles in court and over text. He has to go to mediation a couple times and Emile is there the next day with icecream and steven universe

Emile starts to notice things. The way Remy's eyes are filled with fire as he banters with Larry or when he rants about things he's passionate about. The way he runs so fast in field like nothing can catch him not even the wind itself. The way his whole face glows when he laughs or how when it's silent with them and the sky, he closes his eyes and hums a song he doesn't know.

And he realizes he's in love and he's so scared because Remy doesn't need romance he needs stability. His world is crumbling and he needs his best friend. And Emilie hides it and surprises himself. Remy doesn't notice the way Emiles hugs last longer or the way he sighs as he walks away. He doesn't notice the stars. His mind is on other things. Remy doesn't have time to feel the same or explore feelings so he doesn't.

Eighth grade things go as normal. Emile is still hopelessly in love. Some nights he cries and some nights he thinks his feelings are finally gone. Some nights Remy sleeps over and they sneak into his moms room and but on stage makeup.

Emile almost kissed him when Remy made him a Jake and Finn card for his birthday. And it was hella cute and cheesy and had “love u babe” on the inside and “happy birthday, bitch” on it and it was classic.

But yeah he totally wasn't disappointed it wasn't Bubbline on the card what???

But then things just… stopped.

Remy stopped going to the field on weekends. He was busy when Emilie wanted to hang out. Em was worried at first that something was wrong at home and that he was lying until he saw Remy around at school with other kids. He was growing his hair out and had a leather jacket and when Emile said hi Remy smiled tight, nodded, and continued to talk to his new friends.

Then he noticed how they were the kids who liked sports or girls or always laughed loud in the cafeteria. He noticed how Remy's sass grew into straight up ego and how his confidence wasn't just with Emile it was with EVERYONE

People waved to him as he walked by. Everyone was “babe” “hun” “sweetie” and “sister” and Emilie felt less special.

And not Eighth Grade was nearly over and Emilie had lost his best friend to the rest of the world. Yes he was happy that Remy was confident and Yes he was happy he made new friends.

But back when Remy needed him, back when they dazzling smile was meant for him, back when the problems were so big you needed two people not just yourself- Emilie could hang on to Remy

But now that Remy didn't need him, he was left for trash. Emilie was heartbroken. He swore to himself he wouldn't let another boy break his heart to the point where cartoons couldn't even cheer him up. He cried when Ruby and Sapphire got married and when Bubbline kicked ass and he prayed for the day when he would have that.

Summer was torture and he never saw Remy in the field. Little did he know Remy was there, just in the trees or wandering at nights when his mom came home yelling and cussing. Emile thought the pain of the divorce was over when Remy was going to court once every 6 months and to family counseling weekly but did it help? No.

Highschool came and Remy climbed to social ladder. He hid the bags under his eyes with sunglasses and kept his pep and sass with starbucks coffee. Combat boots to make him taller.

And Emilie was still alone until Patton came along with Roman. They sat together and then Logan and Virgil joined. Sloane and Corbin who are juniors swung on by. Kai and Elliot would join them the next year and together they became the theatre troupe.

Emilie felt whole with this diverse group of many passions and interests and he couldn't help but smile more. He didn't feel so alone. But part of him still longed for that old friendship he has lost- but there was enough going on to forget it.

Emilie didn't notice Remy staring at him with his fiery eyes when his own friend group were so loud they didn't pay him mind. Remy started to see how the tie die pink haired boy grew up and moved his children with dignity and didn't take their tomfoolery. He saw how he would catch conflicts and mediate them. He saw his goofiness shine through all his actions. And he started to care for this new Emile, but also remember when it was just the two of them. New thoughts lead Remy to think it was him holding Emile back from this all along.

He began to think Emilie was better off without him dragging him down with his million problems. So he too began to embrace to noise and forget.

Next it was Sophomore year when the universe threw them back at each other...

#remy sanders #emilie picani #cartoon therapy #thomas sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #ts remy #sleep sanders #ts shorts #ts patton #patton sanders #remyxemile #sander sides #sander sides fic #cartoon therapy fic #remile bullet point fic #My writing #ray writes

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trig-loves-clowning-around · 6 years

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A Gentle Giant part 1

Okay for obvious reasons Pennywise's height is based off of Bill's but just thought it's be better to get this out of the way first so I don't have to explain his height. K hope y'all enjoy part 1/? ~~~~~ It all started in the summer when Y/n L/n had their first run in with the strangest moments of their entire life. They could remember mosying down Neibolt Street on their motorcycle, the Yamaha XS 650 to be exact, they had just gotten out of work to get home. When they noticed Bill Denborough's bike.They recognized it due the fact that they had known Bill since he was in diapers. Living next door made it easy to recognize Silver. It was at 29 Neibolt St. It sent a chill down their spine, not only could it be infested with squatters, mice, snakes, ect. ect. It also was rotting away from the foundation.

Bill and the 6 other bike owners, who y/n assumed would be his other friends they've seen running around, could be in big trouble. They parked the Bike on the curb deciding to throw caution to the wind when they heard a symphony of screams. running toward all the kids you recognized most of them.The first thing they saw was the bleeding new kid, they had no idea who he was, but they knelled down to assess the situation when they heard a familiar scream from none other then Eddie as Richie set his bone into place. Pushing the other child to the back of their mind they rushed to Eddie,demanding for the preteens to get out of their way. They picked up Eddie trying not to jostle the small kid, telling the kids to tell his mom where he was Y/n rushed out onto their Yamaha as the sped off to the nearest hospital.

After about ten minutes at the hospital, Ms. Kaspbrak came bursting through the door demanding to know what happened to her son. "Ma'am I just heard a scream from 29 Neibolt St. Where Billy and his friends were, that was when I saw Eddie's arm and rushed him over" Y/n explained as calmly as possible, having known the woman for as long as they had, they had come to expect this act from her. She nodded her head frantically babbling about how grateful she was that they had been there and how they were an angel in disguise and how "those little devils were trying to kill her son". "Now Ms. K" Y/n interjected, "I've known these kids since they were in diapers. None of them would something like that. They were in an old house, perhaps," They paused to stoop down to her level who was on the verge of hyperventalating, "Ms. Kaspbrak you need to take deep breaths come on, in and out. in, out. That's it!" they beamed straightening up a litte. "Eddie's gonna be fine, he's tougher then he looks. When i was their age I probably explored that damn house 100 times over.It's really old he could've just fallen. Bill's not going to attempt to hurt Ed's anytime soon." "Now I know you babysat that boy when he was little but kids change!" she started up her rant again, talking about everything that could be the cause of 'Eddie's friends trying to kill him"

Y/n's patience's started to fade as they listened to the woman, remembering that she might be going into shock and that keeping her talking could be a good thing! They never had anything to do with medicine so they wouldn't really know. Though one suggestion seemed to make them lose themselves. "I bet you that they were trying to sacrifice him... Yes that's it! Sacrificing my son so that... Georgie was it? yes yes it was, for... For him to come back! Devil worshipers the whole lot of them!" which caused Y/n to turn roughly and stalk outside of the building. ~~~~ I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose as I rushed to my bike, knowing that was how Ms.K was I tried not to dwell on her words so much as I turned my focus to the road. How were the rest of them? I decided to try and make sure the kids were at least out of that damn house before I went to investigate it myself. I knew it could have something to do with Georgie, Bill was devastated when he went missing. As was I, I was his babysitter when he was only 3, it hit my family pretty hard when he was announced missing just a few months ago. Georgie was one of the most caring little kid I could've known. He never seemed to care about my height when I hit the sudden growth spurt near my Senior year of high school pushing me passed 7 ft, no he just continued to treat me like a cousin, or family member, always asking for bike rides and if I could play. Even if I had to work or study he'd be right there trying to convince me that I could just live with his family so I could play with him. I was his "gentle giant" as some would say. My growth spurt has continued until I was a ridiculous 7 ft 4. Of course that sent mocking and self consciousness in my direction as I felt even more out of place in this sleepy little town. I got this bad habit of hunching over that only seemed to go away when I was with loved ones, like my mother or the Denborough's, now a days I was slouched over almost all the time. I drove back past the "haunted house" which, to my relief was lacking in the children's bicycle department.

Though I felt like I was being watched as I drove back to my neighborhood, deciding to take a stop at Bill's house to make sure he was okay. Parking in my driveway I walked over to his house and knocked on his door. I was greeted by his mother letting me go in to talk to him. I walked up to his room and knocked "Bill, it's Y/n" I called softly. After a sound of shuffling feet the door opened to show the tired and red puffy eyes of a desperate and sad Bill. "Can I come in?" I asked, he stepped out of the way and let my in his room. We used to always keep his door open when I was in his room but he shut his door the second I was out of the way.

"Whoa bud, what's gotten into you?" I asked started kneeling down and looking into his eyes. "I-I m-m-messed up b..bad Y/n..." He whispered. "aw hun no!" I collected him into my arms rocking him back and forth hushing the silent sobs. "I came to make sure you were safe. I also want to know what you were doing in that house Billy." I mentioned as his breathing calmed down and he seemed to freeze up in my arms. "You... You wouldn't un-understand..." he grumbled into my shoulder. "I will if you want me to know" I said straightening me, "but since I know your safe, I'll be going no-" "W-wait!" Bill grabbed my arm seeming to have an inner struggle on whether or not to tell me what happened until he muttered. "m-meet me a-at the B-B-Barrens tomorrow th-then I'll let you kn-kn...know"

I sighed, "I've got school tomorrow, my thesis isn't gonna write itself, but I'll be back at one, then I'll pick you up and we'll go there okay?" I said looking down at him. He gave me a determined little nod that made me smile. "Well," I paused to ruffle his hair, "See ya later squirt~"

"H-hey!" He grumbled pushing my hand of his head, "E-everyone's a-a s-s-squirt to y-you Y/n!" He called after me making me smile. "Your not wrong kiddo!" I called after him as I exited the Denborough's household to walk back to mine. As long as I lived under my mother's roof, I would have to uphold the curfew. Even though I was able to basically do whatever I want in the legal world, I was still under the control of my parents. After a quick dinner with my parents I head off to bed. After all that bullshit I had to put up with today, I half wished I could sleep forever.

After curling up for what seemed like an eternity, I finally seemed to fall asleep.

I felt it beofre I saw it. A hand creeping up my shoulders, pressing it's sharp digits into my shoulders causing a pang of pain and a yelp to erupt from my lips. I tried to trun my head before I heard him. "Y/n, don't you want to float with me?" Georgie, he was at the foot of my bed, his big innocent eyes in his cute rain slick. My eyes widened as I sat up completely ignoring the tearing feeling in my shoulders as the claw like features racked down my back. "G-goergie?... GEORGIE!" I tried to leap towards him and grab his arm but, my body seemed to hit a solid mass of dirty white pantaloons. "wh-what?" I was on my knees so I looked up at the towering figure. 'What the Hell?' I asked staring intently at the man in a clown costume. "Where's Georgie!" I growled in confusion staring the freak right in the eyes, I started to stand up, but a surprisingly strong hand puished flat against the end of my bed. "What the Hell..." My mumbles got more unintelligible as I felt another pair or hands, seemingly coming from inside my mattress, started to strangle me. All I could hear from the freaks mouth was "You'll die if you try, you'll die if you try,you'lldiifyoutryyou'lldieifyoutry..." Then my vision faded to black.

I shot up from my bed gripping my throat taking deep breaths. I was covered in sweat, I was in my room, I was ALIVE. "Well, I did a lot yesterday" I reasoned with myself "It's just stress..."

Little did I know about the pair of golden eyes looking at me from the closet.

Not much Pennywise in this one but there will be in part 2!))

@pumpkinwise

#pennywise #pennywise x reader #pennywise imagine #pennywise the dancing clown #pennywise x you #Gentle giant series

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junkobears · 7 years

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1,16,22!

Bless your soul for giving me more ask meme questions to ramble over! I’ve already answered #1 in a previous ask, so just #16 and #22 here! Ho boy there be V3 spoilers here for sure.

16. If you could change anything in the show, what would you change?

Do I even gotta say it at this point anymore? V3′s Protagonist Switch would be reversed immediately, that is absolutely what I would pick no matter the scenario, if I was rewriting the series, if I could only make one change, etc. It’s just so garbage and basically sets up every other issue I have with V3 and its writing in general.

I know people will argue that it’s important to have the switch to represent the truth/lie theme of the game, but honestly? I think it could work even if we never switched POVs. You already have Akamatsu acting as an unreliable narrator with her death trap set-up being hidden from the player until the trial reveals, and if Saihara gets executed in her place (the evidence implicates him too much for Akamatsu to properly refute, he takes the fall, w/e) then you already have Monokuma’s false verdict in play right from the get-go. Then the central mystery of the game would be WHY Monokuma would go along with the lie, alongside Akamatsu as MC being defined more by her failures as a leader getting people killed instead of generic “YA GOTTA BELIEVE IN YOURSELF” shit. Etc it ties in with the overarching theme just fine nerds.

Although I think it could also work with Saihara as the initial POV too, but it’d be much more difficult to pull off the narrator trick obviously. But, like I’ve said before, he could’ve been used in the promo material as the perfect sequel protagonist, being the shy timid bland dude unsure of his skills + being a detective directly this time, which directly links him to the DR formula + truth/lie theme. Then surely having him killed off and replaced by Designated Love Interest Character as THE protagonist would be much more a shocking swerve??? God I fucking hate the actual canon twist the more I think about how it could’ve been really unique and subversive if done in any other possible way than the shit we actually got.

Current endless salty rambling aside, other major changes I’d make to this series: Yukizome as DR3 Future Arc’s mastermind, Junko would not get the DR2 kids to join her despair cult via a random brainwashing anime she stole from a nerd dude who’d never been mentioned before, Matsuda (and DR0 in general) would have never existed, the DR2 dead kids would stay comatose forever, AND Saionji would replace Souda as DR2 survivor.

22. Popular character you hate?

Haha, oh hun, ya sure I gotta answer this one?. The top three culprits are Saihara, Komaeda and Naegi, who all basically personify everything I hate about both the DR series and fandom culture in general. I guess those are the low-hanging fruit options though.

So how about I pick some characters from all the major installments that I don’t DISLIKE, but find very… average/boring and overrated compared to the fandom love for them instead? Much more interesting an answer IMO. They’d be Fujisaki, Imposter, Nagisa, Great Gozu/Bandai, and Gonta, respectively.

Fujisaki: Gender discourse has ruined him forever, from BOTH sides of the debate being awful in every way possible. Beyond that I find him to be kinda bland in general compared to the DR1 cast, I don’t think he actually has any real NEGATIVE flaws? I mean I guess he has issues with gender roles but other than that… there’s not much else to the character. I feel the game and fandom both portray him as too angelic and innocent in the overarching narrative, I guess?

Imposter: Okay I don’t dislike this character at all and in a story that actually used them for more than a cheap fake-out I might actually find their character dilemma interesting, but I REALLY, REALLY do not understand the fandom love for the Imposter. I mean, I found it super lame to bring back a survivor character from DR1, kill them off first and then just reveal it as some random dude who was impersonating him for no reason beyond “We had to shock the players without actually killing off a fan fave (at the time)!”. That’s such a shitty move, writing-wise, and I’d have found it LEAGUES more interesting if it had actually been Togami who died, who’d entered the program willingly as another Observer to guide the DR2 kids to rehabilitation.

Togami’s brand of ‘noblesse oblige’ leadership in DR2 was a pretty logical/fascinating progression from his character growth in DR1, IMO. I find the whole thing super disappointing as a whole, but the fandom apparently loves this character and I have seen numerous posts saying that the Imposter’s character is one of the objectively better written parts of DR2/DR3. What the fuck? If someone wants to explain this opinion to me, I’m all ears.

Nagisa: Like the above two, another character I don’t dislike and there are things about him that I appreciate/like, but he seems to be the majority’s favourite Warrior of Hope and I just don’t really get it personally? I found his form of child abuse to be the least realistic, if I’m honest. The whole “my parents treated me as a customizable RPG character who must be a perfect lab rat at all times” thing. I just find the other four kids’ backstories and characters much more interesting/realistic I guess. Also I can’t lie that brand of anime hair looks so ridiculous IMO… it’s way OTT haha.

Great Gozu/Bandai: They both were dead by the end of Episode 3, did jack shit and had no real character depths, but they seem to be ranked favourably by a lot of fans. Why? Is it really just the beloved Good™ People and Kind-hearted Bara tropes in effect? Was it because everyone else in Future Arc actually had flaws and some of them were pretty awful people (aka actually interesting as characters) so you gotta stan for the pure wholesome characters instead? I just will never get this fandom trend personally.

Gonta: He’s the one character in V3 who I find to just be… there… Even Shinguji kinda interests me more as a character, and Saihara at least makes me actually angry. Gonta just bores me. Frankly the level of gullibility just started to annoy me by the time he died. He really just seemed to exist to be used to further Ouma’s character IMO. Maybe it’s just me? I’m clearly not into the Beloved Bara dudes in this series that everyone else seems to adore, haha. Also the caveman speak in the English localization is SO ANNOYING… RIP Gonta I’ll never grow to care much for you.

#replies #ask memes #V3 spoilers #yabashiri #character hate #well more like character... disinterest TBH

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