Imma be honest with y’all SOMETIMES in a dramione, snamione, even lumione… i don’t care if they apologize to her for they treated her. If the author decides they want to just skip all that and move to a good acquaintance or working relationship with these folks then so be it honestly. I don’t need to read the angsty apology every single time lol

Sherlolly Self-Interviews 2020

Well hi 👋

Ignoring the internal image of Gilderoy Lockheart smiling smugly while flashbulbs pop and saying ‘In my autobiography, Magical Me...’ 🙈😆 I shall take the opportunity of this lovely event to introduce myself as a writer of Sherlolly fanfiction on AO3...

I am English and somewhere over 30.  I watched the show as it aired, and lost my heart as quickly to Molly Hooper as to Sherlock Holmes.  The kiss is British television history.  Series 4 is my favourite.  Moriarty on the beach is life.  The Holmes brothers break my heart every time.

I am extremely lucky to have been provided some questions to answer here by @ohaine and @mybrainrots - huge, huge love and thanks to these two lovelies, and not just for this.  I admire you both so much as writers, and your support means the world to me ❤️ Thanks too, to @sherlollyappreciationweek!

Where did you begin to write, and have you written for other fandoms?  I wrote my first fanfic when I was eleven years old - a 100 page ramble about The Monkees.  Oh yes.  Then in 2018, I fell for the characters of the Disney Pixar film Cars and began writing and publishing.  So far so random!  Writing in this fandom sprang from binge-watching all four series of Sherlock during lockdown.  I remembered reading Louise Brealey talking about being disappointed Molly didn’t get chance to ‘roundly kick Sherlock’s arse’ and agreeing with her wholeheartedly.  That, over a few weeks, turned into my first fic - Who You Really Are.  

You’re a recent (and welcome!) arrival to the Sherlolly ship, and I was wondering if writing in an established, less active than it used to be fandom has been a challenge?   Thank you, firstly.  My experience of this fandom has been incredibly positive - the sense of welcome has been wonderful.  I will admit I was terrified posting the first fic - there are hundreds of times more stories posted daily in the Sherlock fandom as in the one I had some experience of.  But I needn’t have worried, it’s been a blast.  I will also admit, that it’s no small thing to be surrounded by such brilliant writing and the long-standing passion which goes with it.  But I find that inspiring in itself, and I’m very glad to be here - how supportive the fandom are makes me feel like I always have been!       

What’s your favourite place and way to write?  My aesthetic is Lin-Manuel Miranda in his in-law’s laundry room 🤣 I wrote my first ten-thousand words on the notes app on my phone before my other half told me to stop being ridiculous!  I switch between the laptop, my phone and longhand (I’m a sucker for a nice notepad and a Uni-Ball Eye) and, more often than not, not sat up properly at a table.   

Since you’ve (done something I’ve never managed successfully and) written a novella length fic... how did you organise/keep track of all the details and where you wanted the story to go?  Did you outline/plot in advance?  First of all - I would love to see a novella length fic from you @mybrainrots!  The final scene of Who You Really Are came to me very early on and I knew I wanted the fic to fit within TFP - a lot of it takes place in the timeframe of the final montage.  At first, it was going to be much more about Sherlock’s relationship with the ideas of sentiment and love (the phrase ‘I’m not sentimental about you, I love you,’ haunted me for a while) and I spent some time researching the psychology and playing with scenes from throughout the series - one of my favourites I didn’t go on to use was inspired by the final scene of THoB.  Using scenes from the canon gave an automatic structure, and I was always aiming for the final one I wrote early on - the two of them on the beach (everything is about the beach, with me!)  As I went along and started, inevitably, to slow down, I mapped out the chapters with a short note of what I wanted to be in each, then would add notes or phrases as they came to me - often emailed from my phone!  I had to force myself through a tricky section set in Baker Street at one point, but it came together in the end.  I did plot The Pathologist’s Skeletons on paper first, as I found with a casefic which remains a WIP, that I can get confused and lose focus when it comes to details and how to reveal them in a way which stays paced and interesting.  I’ll certainly do that from now on with longer stories and cases.  How did you keep up enthusiasm for the work?  I want to write an original novel, so I am forcing myself to work through the knotty bits and blocks as a learning experience.  Not everything is destined to be finished or finessed, of course, but I’m finding this process is building my confidence that I can overcome problems and slow periods.  I also find I know when I need some external inspiration - some of my favourite scenes have come to me while out walking the dog or sitting on the beach.  I’ve also been inspired by books or other series or things going on in the world, as we all are, and sometimes that’s pushed me on.  Plus, of course, I’m a newbie - I’m very much in the honeymoon period of my writing, even though I’ve loved Sherlock for ten years! (Ten years! Bonkers.) 

You’ve got a knack for writing Sherlock’s thoughts and capturing his voice.  That said, which character do you find easiest to write?  Which is the hardest?  Thank you so much.  I absolutely love writing Sherlock and Mycroft, and I’m sure that’s because they suit my somewhat over-the-top writing style!  I find Molly and her POV really difficult.  I want the scenes I write from her perspective to sound completely different to Sherlock, but that means writing in a style which doesn’t come as naturally to me.  I’m a long way off happy with that at the moment, but I’m enjoying the challenge.

Is there a scene or character that specifically inspired you to start writing Sherlolly?  The whole of TFP, but especially from the moment Sherlock arrives at Musgrave onwards.  I am desperate to see what a Sherlock Holmes who has been reacquainted with his own heart would look like.  I find his emotionality in those final scenes hugely compelling (Mycroft’s office is one of my favourite moments from across all four series) and, as I have always believed in him and Molly, I practically jumped up back in May after watching it and said ‘right, where’s my notebook?!’.

There’s a lovely peaceful, quiet feeling to your fic ‘We’re All Right At The Moment’.  Can you tell us what inspired it and if you’ve thought of doing the backstory that goes with it?  Thank you!  Like everyone, I would go back to January of this year and start again in a heartbeat, but I am hugely fortunate to be able to say that I have a lot to be grateful to the UK lockdowns for.  I might never have begun writing in this fandom otherwise, for one, and I have had a brilliant time so far and met some lovely people. Honestly, I don’t feel able to do any sort of justice in my writing to what has happened in the world in any broader sense than drawing on my own experiences of staying at home and enjoying my family.  This particular super-short fic sees Molly cutting Sherlock’s hair at home in Baker Street.  I wrote it in the evening after I had cut my other half’s hair and had been reminding myself that despite how horribly worried I was - and still am - about everything, we were all right in that moment, and to focus on that as much as possible.  I wanted to try to capture that, if for no reason other than to look back on this entire experience and remember something lovely, so I am so pleased to hear you felt the fic did that.  It was only after I finished it and reread it, that I realised it is ambiguous as to whether Molly is worried about Sherlock contracting the virus, or whether she is remembering him being treated for it... As I say, I don’t think I could write more about these extraordinary circumstances - perhaps it’s just too close at the moment - so I don’t plan on extending it.  But you know how it is, the plot bunnies hop where they will... 

Do you have a Sherlolly music playlist?  What are your top five favs from the list? Here’s a run down of (6 🙊) songs I have been getting emotional over in the last little while, leading my brain to assign their significance to my favourite couple...

Kissing You - Des’Ree - It’s so 90′s, it’s a bit cheesy, it’s oddly disturbing.  It helped me write A Request, Made Properly, and that gave me an excuse to have Sherlock kiss Molly in the snow.

How Long Will I Love You? - Ellie Goulding - part of the playlist, but also in remembrance of a friend who passed away recently.  Life is very short, love is forever.

High and Dry - Jamie Cullum - It’s made me emotional for a very long time.  The original is my partner’s version of choice, this is mine.  

Think About You - Delta Goodrem - Okay, this one isn’t emotional, and it’s not my usual vibe!  Blame the zoom exercise class I do!  But oh my goodness, it’s Molly.  Bless her.

Blinded By Your Grace (P.T.2. F.T. MNEK) - Stormzy - One of the best ever, I reckon.  Spent an awful lot of time thinking about angels and demons, grace and what it takes to save someone, while writing my latest - The Pathologist’s Skeletons.  This has been in my head most of the (blimmin’) time!

Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding - I didn’t know I was a fan of Ellie until I wrote this list... I don’t subscribe to the theory that the love Molly wants or that which Sherlock has to offer is any lesser because it isn’t ‘normal’ or expected. I don’t think romantic entanglement would come easy to either of them. But it’s still love and it would be beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading.  Thanks and love to @ohaine and @mybrainrots. And thank you @sherlollyappreciationweek for the event and for everything you do ❤️

Feel like I should sign off with a quote from the show...

“You’re not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You’re a drama queen!” Dr John Watson (Moffat & Gatiss) 2014 😜

X

A fav fic of mine by @mybrainrots

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563193

A fav fic of mine by @ohaine

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10562904

My stuff:

https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnglandsGray/works

1) I saw your tags on that post of Lizbobs about Twist and Shout and I am so happy that clear thinking meta writers like you agree that it in no way should be as popular as it is. It makes me cringe whenever someone brings it up as if it is actually a ‘beloved’ fic. I’m sorry if this sounds hateful, and I don’t mean to bring hate on the writers who put effort into it, but at some point this fandom has gotta realise that this fic being the ‘flagship fic’ for Destiel is a really REALLY bad thing.

2) Consider this fandom: We are close to getting canon destiel. That could put this show on the map, get real media interest. There is no doubt therefore that some media will dig further into the ‘fandom phenomenon’ behind destiel. Imagine just how CRINGEWORTHY it will be for mainstream media to discover that the most popular destiel fan fic is nothing more than poorly written tragedy porn rip off of Forrest Gump with the standard ‘kill your gays with aids trope’ at the end?!?! It is actually

3) disgraceful and we should be ashamed of ourselves for trying to push this fics popularity. Imagine how, on the chance destiel DOES become canon (which in my mind is rather likely) the writers, creators and actors on this show would feel that their beautiful love story about an angel and a hunter was butchered and turned into something frankly AWFUL?

4) How would Misha feel to know that a so called majority of destiel fans actually idolise a fic where his character dies from aids thanks to his decent into drug abuse?! What the HELL fandom?! WHY is this such a popular fic? It is a disgrace to the show, a disgrace to the characters and frankly an insult to our intelligence as a fanbase looking for LGBT+ representation. We don’t need more gay tragedies. That is pretty much ALL we get in mainstream media.

5) Yes the aids crisis was a horrible tragedy, but after decades of mainstream media giving LGBT people basically NOTHING but tragic stories where there are no happy endings for us, isn’t it about time that this trope DIED? Yet here we are, a modern and at least somewhat progressive fandom, still glorifying a fic that falls under that same tired miserable category. Not to mention that the fic is terrible written and the characters are absolutely nothing like their canon counterparts.

6) Sorry, I know this is getting rather mean, but years of pent up anger about this stupid fic is bringing it out of me in your inbox. Lets all be honest here. Twist & Shout is our ‘My Immortal’. It needs to die. Just like ‘My Immortal’ did for Harry Potter, it gives all other destiel fics a bad name. Can we PLEASE stop glorifying it and admit how shitty it is already.I know this is a harsh message, and I am sure that a lot of people would be upset by me saying these things, but it’s the truth

7) and I’ve spoken to enough people in fandom who silently agree with me. Though we all live in silence for fear of offending this mysterious majority of destiel shippers who apparently adore this fic? I’m sorry, but I am convinced that if we were to do a survey of peoples actual opinions on that fic, it wouldn’t come up positive at all. Popularity grows popularity. That’s the problem here. New people search for the most popular fics on AO3, and they become more popular, and those same new

8) people then believe that T&S is the standard to live up to in destiel fandom. That is an embarrassment for all of us. I just really want the obsession to end. Its not a good thing.

Oh hi. I see you have Feelings™ about this, and since I largely agree… 

I’ll start off by linking the post you’re referring to, with my attendant tags on it, here:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163613335445/hey-lizbob-i-was-watching-12x03-and-i-noticed

as well as a few other tag rambles I’ve gone on over the years here, going all the way back to 2015. So that at least gives readers an idea of how I personally feel about it. And now on to the disclaimer section of this post:

I’ve always been, and will ALWAYS be a proponent of fanfic being a “ship and let ship” environment. I will NEVER assume to dictate what people write, read, or find enjoyment in. I will NEVER judge what “should” and “shouldn’t” be written or enjoyed by ANYONE. FULL STOP.

I am also a fierce advocate for “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” when it comes to discussing fanfic. And that will never change.

But that’s not the issue when it comes to the inexplicable fandom “popularity” of this particular fic. If you read it and loved it, that’s GREAT! I’m glad. More power to you. It’s not the fic itself I have an issue with. I just wanted to make that clear. I am not here to dissuade people from enjoying it, nor to speak ill of the story itself.

It’s the nature of the story itself, versus the nature of fanfic, versus the fandom mystique surrounding it– the fact that it has somehow become the Flagship Fic Standard for ALL destiel fic, and the fact that for some reason the fandom itself seems to push it at the actors and creators and crew members of this show over and over again.

I’ve often wondered  if some of Bob Singer’s cavalier attitude about having killed Charlie Bradbury wasn’t directly rooted in the fact that the entire production staff seems to be aware of T&S, even if they haven’t actually read it for legal reasons, but at least know that this particular fic that is apparently glorified in this fandom is founded on the Kill Your Gays trope.

Like, we constantly yell at TPTB to be better than that, and yet THIS is the story we’ve chosen as a fandom to elevate to the highest pinnacle of fanfic glory?

It’s just… depressing.

(and honestly, this fic is THE reason I refuse to read ANY fic that’s tagged “period typical homophobia.” I just… refuse to torture myself with that damn trope anymore)

But from everything I’ve read about it (and from the half a chapter I managed to struggle through myself before noping out), the only thing necessary to make this an original work of fiction would be to change the names of the characters. It’s not even a “file the serial numbers off” job. It READS like original fiction where the characters and plot share little other than the names of our beloved Dean and Cas.

And to me, that’s not why I read fanfic. If I wanted to read about entirely different people, I’d read original fiction, you know? Not struggle to identify with characters that bear little to no resemblance to the characters I actually care about.

It’s not just a problem with AU fic, because I’ve read HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of AU fics that don’t seem to have this problem with keeping the characters “in character” even in entirely different situations. If they can feel like Dean and Cas in a Firefly AU, or a Regency Romance, or a Gothic Horror, or Ancient Rome, or in a fantasy AU where they’re witches or dragons or a freaking octopus, then yeah, they can remain in character in ANY AU. HECK I ADORED AN AU WHERE DEAN AND CAS WERE FREAKING CHICKENS. LITERALLY CHICKENS. And it was more in character than T&S.

I’m not going to presume to suggest the sort of fic that I believe is more representative of the best of our fandom, but having read far more than 5000 fics (I’ve got over 4k in my AO3 history, and I read fic for over a year before I got an account there to start tracking my history, PLUS all the fic I’ve read on LJ, FF.net, tumblr, etc… I mean the real number is probably closer to 10k or even MORE if you count all the little drabbles and things), I have to say that the MAJORITY of fic I’ve read has been far better at representing Dean and Cas as I know and love them.

We as a fandom don’t have to agree on what the “best fanfic” of the lot of them is, but can we at least agree to stop pushing THIS PARTICULAR FIC so forcefully and directly into the faces of the actors, writers, crew, etc.?

If we want THEM to do better by our characters, if we want our shouts of STOP KILLING OUR QUEERS to actually hit home, maybe we need to stop glorifying this particular fic to TPTB at every goddamn turn.

(and second disclaimer: In all my years in fandom, aside from anon messages praising the fic, I have spoken to exactly TWO people who admitted to enjoying this fic. Talking privately with hundreds of others, people express a far less enthusiastic opinion of it. I firmly believe that the vast majority of hits on it are from people just like me and others I’ve talked to about it, that the only reason we ever clicked on it was due to this very fandom mystique, the controversy about its popularity, and curiosity over what all the fuss was about. It’s become a self-sustaining enterprise of generating more and more hits, you know?)

Newbies to fandom and fanfic are often encouraged to go to AO3 and search the ship results by either hits or kudos to read “the best stories” first, and of course T&S is the first result either way.

But as a fic WRITER? Can I just speak for all of us when I say getting a comment that our story was “just as good as T&S” doesn’t really feel like a compliment? Most of us don’t WANT to think we’ve written an OOC Kill Your Queers tragedy porn, or to really be associated with it in any way.

Honestly, we need to stop hating ourselves this much.

Some thinky thoughts about That Post because everyone seems to be posting theirs and I feel left out

Look, I’m not going to lie, I reblogged that post. I related to that post. I think it’s fantastic that so many people didn’t have that fandom experience, and honestly, I wish I hadn’t. But I did. I followed too liberally when I first joined tumblr and was far too reticent to unfollow, which means that I saw it all. The ship wars. The character wars. The hate. Any shitty thing that happened in fandom between seasons two and four, I was there for it, watching from the sidelines, only marginally getting involved every now and then (though those small involvements usually ended with either someone telling me to kill myself or someone harassing me through asks for multiple days). I saw the rise and fall of popular tumblr users and fanfic writers. People jumped ship, then jumped back, then changed their mind again. Up was down and down was up, and honestly, it wasn’t until I realized that it didn’t have to be this way that my experience with fandom changed.

Now? I love being in the Glee fandom. But that’s because I have a very selective number of Glee blogs that I follow, and I am no longer reticent to unfollow. In fact, I’m almost too trigger happy with the unfollow button. I love every mutual I have from the Glee fandom, I love every Glee post that comes my way. I have xkit so I can block the few posts that come my way that I don’t agree with or seem too aggressive. I will probably be a part of the Glee fandom until I die (sorry to those of you that hate me lmao) because I love this goddamn show, and I’ve managed to find a group of people who love it just as much as I do.

The funny thing is that when I changed my tumblr dash, my view of Glee changed, too. There were dozens of times that I almost stopped watching the show, that it became too much, all because of the fandom. Around the end of season four is when I started to re-vamp my dash, when I became really quick to unfollow and really hesitant to follow new blogs. And you know what? Seasons five and six were amazing to me. I still consider them to be my favourite seasons of Glee, because my fandom experience was so goddamn positive during that time.

But you know what else? My view of past seasons has started to change, too. Characters I couldn’t stand (Marley in particular, but also Rachel, Brittany, Finn, Artie) are characters I’m growing more attached to. With every re-watch, I fall harder for stories that used to annoy the fuck out of me. I’ve started to listen to more of the music because I used to hate certain songs on principal and wasn’t able to appreciate how amazing they are because I just didn’t want to. I used to despise Brittana, and now it’s my second favourite ship. I couldn’t stand Rachel, and even though I still struggle with her sometimes, I can see the good in her even when she’s being obnoxious. Even the season four newbies don’t annoy me as much as they used to (I recently re-watched 4x12 and found myself feeling tiny tugs of emotion about the Jarley scenes, which in the past have only made me roll my eyes and pull out my phone in an instant).  When my fandom experience changed, my view of the show changed. It went from a guilty pleasure I couldn’t quit to something I am proud to love. I’m not embarrassed when I tell people Glee is my favourite show. I love that fucking show. Of course there are issues with it, and I’ll be the first to point those issues out, but I still fucking adore it. It’s my show, and it’s so special to me, and let me tell you, it’s so much more rewarding to watch the show and actually enjoy it for what it is, instead of counting down the scenes until Kurt and Blaine share a look again (another reason why I enjoy the show a lot more lately is that I no longer force myself to re-watch awful episodes in the spirit of a full re-watch. I know which ones I can’t stand, and I just skip them. Seriously, it’s made my most recent re-watch so incredible). I know I wouldn’t feel this way if it weren’t for my current fandom experience.

But all that being said, I still lived what that post was talking about. I saw the shit, I lived through the shit, I learned from the shit (though I will admit that I backslide sometimes if I don’t have the spoons to remind myself that I’ve already been through this a thousand times I should know better by now). Someone once told me to burn my face off, and then someone reblogged my response (which was aimed at a specific section of fandom, which I know the person who sent the ask hailed from) telling me I was being rude and judging an entire section unfairly because they weren’t the only people who hated mia. So, like, I think it’s absolutely amazing that people on here have managed to avoid all the bullshit and feel really protective of the fandom space that they’ve created for themselves, but honestly, the large majority of the Glee fandom experience was what that post entailed. We followed the wrong people, we allowed ourselves to be sucked into the madness, and it wasn’t good.

You know what, though? That wasn’t Glee’s fault, and none of this is specific to the Glee fandom. You think Glee invented toxic fandom spaces? PLEASE. Toxic fandom has existed since day one. You take anything that people feel passionate about and put them in close vicinity with someone who feels that same passion but in a different, potentially opposite way, things are bound to get volatile. Glee isn’t even the worst I’ve experienced. Yeah, it was a mess, but to act like it was the catalyst to everything that is wrong with the internet is unfair. I mean, for goodness sake, one of the few things that everyone in the Glee fandom could agree on was that it annoyed us that people kept forgetting we were a fandom. We had a huge presence on tumblr, but we were always ignored. How the hell could we have sparked the internet revolution? How could we have popularized the use of the word “problematic”? Everyone wrote us off as a joke because our show was seen as a joke. Don’t try and pin all of tumblr’s problem’s on us.

Also, it is important to note that the person who made that post is a Brittana shipper, and therefore their fandom experience was most likely self-contained to Brittana. I mean, for goodness sake, the post mentions HeYa, but ignores CrissColfer, which is probably the most active section of fandom still left (though don’t get me started on that). A lot of the posts I’ve seen in response to this post are coming from Klaine fans, who will obviously have different experiences with the fandom than this person did. And I mean, really, do I even need to point out the obvious that everyone’s experience in fandom is different?

I really wish I could be one of those people annoyed at that post because that wasn’t my experience. I wish I had followed the right people from the start. I wish I’d known better. I wish my first three years in fandom were as amazing as the past four years have been (and jfc have I really been on this dumbass website for that long?!). But it wasn’t, and that post really reflected a huge part of my fandom experience. I’m so thankful, though, to read posts by people whose fandom experience is not reflected by that. I’ve loved every one of those posts that’s come across my dash. And I especially love that I only saw the original post once, but have seen at least four or five posts talking about positive Glee experiences instead.

I love this fandom, even with it’s messy history. And, more importantly, I love this show, and will continue to love it until the literal day that I die.

Gosh you seem so angry all the time. Might wanna try eating more of those veggies. And meditation. Pretty sure Gillian would agree

Well I should eat more veggies and learn to meditate, so for now I’m gonna put your condescension on ice.

Because a) I would like to be less angry and b) if you actually calculate my (blockable) #rose rants tag as a percentage of my posting it’s less than 1%… 

But honestly, does it piss me off that I can’t go in the Gillian tag without being bombarded by irrelevant and infuriating posts? Yes. I come here to read fic and see pics and enjoy my evenings, not to read lengthy expositions about why people who believe in one fan theory are superior to those who believe another and should pat themselves on the back for their wisdom.

I hate the divisiveness of it, not only because it shatters my good mood but because it’s illogical, unnecessary, and skewed in such a way that it means people (like myself) whose opinion differs from those shouting the loudest, becomes not just a difference but a reason to send hate, break up friendships and weaken the fandom.

I’m putting the rest of this under a cut, because I’m sure there’s plenty people who don’t wanna read it but for once I’m not going to condense my thought process into clickbait. If I’m gonna get hate then I may as well get it for my whole mind and not just the headlines.

Things that piss me off.

1. The assumption that Gillian’s (or David’s) relationship status is in any way relevant. It just isn’t. They don’t talk about it publicly, which means EVERYTHING personal we discuss is speculation. 

2. The confusion of speculation with fact.

I have spiralled with the best of them. Sometimes we all go a bit crazy over something cute. But when does it end? There’s theory and then there’s lunacy and the fact that “evidence” as spurious as the presence of one man on a continent after a week of not getting papped, gets woven into a narrative as “fact” makes me want to scream. If I didn’t have a job, I would love to sit down and unpack both the Gillovny and Gilligan conspiracies, reduce them right down to facts. Make a list. No interpretation. No romance. Just the bare words and untouched pictures. Because what we have here feels like a folie a cent - it’s MADNESS. Since when did the Scully in us say - “you know what, faceless source, with sources - I believe your vague assurances”. Or “This random piece of jewellery MUST mean this random theory”. 

When the blog that started a narrative becomes the point of reference in their own story, it all falls apart. For me, anyway. And to see people tote their own, months old suppositions as “factual evidence” in support of their current idea, hoodwinking both newbies and people who weren’t paying attention the first time wrong makes the scientist in me shudder.

3. Generalisation.

X said this one time, therefore they are Y always. Whether this is directed at a blog (e.g me being angry one time = me being a hateful person) or a star (DD once compared Gillian to a blow-up doll = DD is a misogynistic prick), it’s fucked up that we perpetuate it. Because it’s not valid reasoning and it’s gross.

e.g. Gillian wears black every time she does a public appearance :. she is a satanist. 

Bull. Shit.

4. Hypocrisy

And this is what really got my goat this evening. The idea that one side of a theory is more valid than another leading to people making arguments that are so hypocritical it hurts my soul. I hate that it boils down to “Gillovny vs. Gilligan” but that’s where it seems to be right now .

I honestly think that Gillian could drag Peter Morgan up on stage at the Women’s March in London on Sunday, ride him bareback like a cowgirl while screaming “Fuck You David Duchovny” at the news cameras, and some people would still find a way to explain it away. And find people willing to back them and shout down anyone who just points at the footage and goes “but…?”

Is there definitive proof that PM and GA are dating… no. But there’s a lot more evidence to indicate those two are involved right now than Gillian and David (who haven’t been spotted together or even within a thousand miles since August of last year). Does that mean the Gillovny crowd have to give up? Well that’s their call.

For me though, I would like to say that I have NEVER gone into the Gillian tag and found anyone who skews “Gilligan” slandering David, accusing Gillian of being a slut, perpetuating a showmance or trying to find ways to devalue their nice Ga & DDs nice moments together like Kimmel or.. their whole careers. I’ve seen some stupid manips, a few awws but that’s about it. But the most ardent on the “Gillovny” side are not playing so nicely. The things I have seen written about Peter Morgan are, frankly, disgusting, the accusations levelled at Gillian are offensive and the need to prove Harpers Bazaar/Golden Globes meaningless is pathological.

Add to that that certain among the Gillovny remainers seem to feel the need to go after anyone who dares say anything positive about PM, commenting on harmless posts with horribl horrible things in some bizarre attmept to shore up their own belief by shitting in the yards of others… yeah.

It’s hypocritical and honestly it makes me mad enough that I wanna march into the homes of the people posting this shit and shake some sense and respect into them.

5. Anon culture

That a function intended to make blogs accessible to non-members and newbies gets hi-jacked for the spreading of hate and agenda. If you have as many opinions as find their way in to my inbox (and those of other blogs on both sides of the equation), make your own blog and put it out there with your signature on. Maybe my opinions and rants will loe me followers. Maybe they will lose me friends. But I put them out there with my face and my voice behind them. I am not ashamed of how I feel.

6. Apathy.

I am so over the expectation that silence is the only acceptable way to handle bad behaviour. Because that’s what some of this is, straight up bullying, mob-backed campaigns of misinformation designed to discredit decent people in the service of a fandom appetite and shame those who dare to differ from them into silence.

And I am not okay with that. 

There is no honour, no peace for me in sitting quietly and watching my follower count rise as I post silly videos, or smutty fanfic or cute gifsets, and pretending like I don’t see what’s going on on the sidelines.

I would rather lose all my followers, talking about what I think is right, shining a light on our worst habits and trying to bring people together in a way that is honest and truthful rather than my just sweeping shittiness under the rug and playing nice, than be the most popular blog in the fandom.

And that. Anon. Is why I’m sometimes angry. Because with my new decision in terms of speaking up, I get home, go in the tags for inspiration, and instead of seeing a cute MSR pic I can be inspired by, I find shit that needs calling out, which generates anons I need to respond to, and bam, there goes my evening.

But I’d rather be angry than have regrets. So there.

What I learned from being a semi-popular fanfiction author and why you shouldn't rush to get there.

Disclaimer: This is just from my personal experience - YMMV.

About six years ago, I decided to write my first fanfic. It was, unsurprisingly, terrible. The ones that came after weren't much better. But I discovered something - I loved writing. It made my bones tingle and my heart race. Eventually I decided to get serious and write my first multichaptered fanfic. From then on, my writing steadily improved and so did my status. I was no longer just a newbie, a face among the thousands. I was a face to look out for.

Popularity is something that many fanfic authors have yearned for at least once in their lifetime. I mean, if you put in all that work, it's only fair that a great amount of people see it, right? At least, that's how I tried to justify my growing need for attention and recognition.

There's a saying, and I think you all have heard this one before - be careful what you wish for. I cannot think of a more relevant statement.

Eventually, my love for writing grew so much that I spent most of my time branching off into different fandoms, into different tropes, reading, learning, improving. I actually, for about two years, stopped caring about whether or not I was going to be major. I was just content that I had a few dedicated readers.

Then I started writing NSFW stuff, because I wanted to try my hand at it and it always interested me. Turns out I was a natural (heh). Believe me when I tell you that everything seemed to change within the blink of an eye. I just remember being thrilled as heck getting 40 kudos and now I was getting 400.

It's been an unforgettable ride. But it hasn't always been great.

I'm going to list off the what I've learned so far from being semi-popular:

Let's start with the good things:

It's a thrill. Knowing that people are reading and enjoying your work is such an indescribable feeling.

You meet a lot of great people online who adore your fics and want to talk.

People respect you because you've basically built your (small) empire from scratch. That is something to be proud of, actually, because it isn't easy becoming a popular author. It took me six years and during those six years, I had to humble myself but also learn to have some self-confidence.

Okay, now onto the bad things:

1.The pressure. You make one fic and it turns out to be magic, everyone starts paying attention to you. They subscribe to you, bookmark your stories, they're eager to read what you put out. Can you do that trick again or can you do an even better trick? Or will you just fall flat on your face?

The competition - somewhere along the way, the people who read my fics were no longer people, they became numbers. And I resent that day with every beat of my heart. I started writing because I loved it, if people liked my work, that was a bonus. Making someone's day with my words is a remarkable thing. But when that began to fade away and it all just turned into stats to feed my ego, I knew I had to take a step back. To this day, I feel absolutely disgusting ever treating my kudos like trophies.

People are sometimes afraid to reach out to you. - They may get intimidated by either your talent, or your audience or something. It can be a very lonely existence. It's like transferring to a school in the Midwest and you're a Polynesian exchange student. You want people to approach you but they don't and when they do, they seem a little awestruck. When you approach them, it can get awkward.

It gets annoying. - You can't act like a dick or a douchebag (not that you would want to, but still - liberty) on your writing platforms because a lot of people are watching and they expect you to remain likeable at all times. Because then, you'd lose your popularity and after two years of it being all you know, of you shaping it with your identity, your persona, your achievements, you can't afford to lose it. Because it feels like all you have.

It can take over your life. This one'ss elf-explanatory.

It's not easy to quit. Some days it becomes too much. Sometimes you don't want to write something and look at the numbers or care whether someone you've never met likes it or not. But that feeling can be inescapable, like a bear trap. When you want to leave it behind you look back at your empire and realize that you can't. That it's physically impossible. Instead of being the head honcho, you are now a slave to your art.

If I think of anymore I will add it later in an edit. Honestly, I think semi-fame status can be a great thing, but not if it makes you forget who you are. A lot of people only talk about the good side of being semi-famous, but no one ever discusses the reality.

Please, do not rush it. I see a lot of people asking 'how can I make my story more popular? How can I be more popular?" And I just don't understand anymore why someone would want to. Write because you love it, do not phone it in for popularity. Honestly, I miss being that girl who got excited over small victories. Who was proud of 500 views instead of glaring at 13,000.

Fanfiction is awesome and it can take you to great places, but not everything that glitters is gold. Truth be told, if I never gained more readers, I wouldn't have thought I would be capable of working on other writing projects or starting my own book. It gave me the confidence and the push I needed to put myself out there. But there's a catch to everything.

Be careful what you wish for - it may just come true.

submitted by /u/ArtemisLex [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans http://ift.tt/2pqL5Ug