In my restless dreams I see that town
WARNING: Suicide,bullying, self harm, death
All y/n wanted to do was be friends with Colby but he never seemed too like her..
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜
I never knew why Colby hated me so much but it hurt.
I knew today was going to be cold, I put on my flared jeans, white under top, nirvana shirt, and my favourite green woolen jumper.
I put on my perfume and started to cry from the pain of the mist on my wrist, why did I do this, was it too feel something? I don’t know but it helped.
What did I do so wrong to others? I hate this life.
I cried again.. I always cry in the mornings I hate looking at myself. It hurts so much to do such simple things. I wish I could just be a normal person.
I wiped my tears with my sleeve and started packing my bag.
TIME SKIP AT SCHOOL ☆
“Ew” Colby pointed to y/n
I felt hurt but this was a normal thing by now.. as I was putting my bag into my locker I grabbed my iPod and earbuds.
“Man I don’t know why you hate her so much she hasn’t done anything to you just leave it” Sam sighed
“I hate her because she is fucking ugly and disgusting, honestly I hope she dies no one even likes her” Colby laughed
I felt tears sting my eyes but I choked it back, I put my earbuds in and tuned out not wanting to hear his bullshit
As I was walking to first period I saw Colby and his friends out front the door I tried to ignore them but.
“god you’re so fucking disgusting just leave this school and don’t come back” Colby laughed as he put his foot out
I tripped and layed their hopelessly. What did I do wrong?..
Colby grabbed my books and ripped them
I couldn’t move I couldn’t do anything I just sat and watched.
I got up and ran to the bathroom.
Why the fuck does he treat me so bad what did I do wrong can I do anything to improve myself? Why is he so mean?? Thoughts ran through my head constantly as tears started rolling down my face.
I sat in the bathroom crying trying to think of solutions of how he would like me but nothing came to mind.but one thing did, it seemed too dramatic but it seemed like I couldn’t do anything else.
I grabbed my blade out from my pocket and pulled my sleeve up.
I cried looking at the blood running down my arm..
I can feel something, it’s almost as if I deserve this, I was clean for months but that was when Colby left for a trip, but everything is coming back now, I’m scared to go to school or even socialise with people, I can’t focus on work because he always takes my stuff and rips it.
I hear someone walk in the bathroom I decide to stay quiet
“I don’t understand why Colby does that shit to her like she seems so sweet??” A soft voice from outside said
“Apparently she liked him and he hates her, no one knows why though it’s stupid if he hates her for no reason” a girl said
I decided to walk out the stall even though they were defending me I didn’t want to hear about him right now.
While I was walking through the hallway it felt like eyes were on me everywhere I turned, did I do something wrong?
It’s almost the end of the year so I decided to just go home.
»»————> that night <————««
I had just woke up it was 3:00? Fuck I slept late
I grabbed my computer and started scrolling on twitter
What did Isla do wrong?-Lucy
She’s disgusting she is just like ugh I don’t even know why I hate her so much she just annoys me so much her presence pisses me off- Colby
Of course people were talking about me..
I did see people defending me in the replies but it didn’t feel like enough, Colby didn’t care and never did..
Everytime I had friends he would turn them against me no matter what I did to try and make them stay
I just want to be liked
I’ve had enough I don’t want to do this anymore I can’t
As I grabbed my paper from underneath my desk I stated to write
✧─── ・ 。゚★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧
In my restless dreams,
I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised you'd take me
there again someday.
But you never did.
Well I'm alone there now...
In our 'special place'...
Waiting for you.
Waiting for you to
come to see me.
But you never do.
And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.
I wish I could change
that, but I can't.
I feel so pathetic and ugly
laying here, waiting for you...
Every day I stare up at the cracks
in the ceiling and all I can think
about is how unfair it all is...
I think you know what I mean...
Even so, I'm glad to be coming
home. I've missed you terribly.
But I'm afraid Colby
I'm afraid you don't really
want me to come home.
Whenever you come see me,
I can tell how hard it is on you...
I don't know if you
hate me or pity me...
Or maybe I just disgust you...
I'm sorry about that.
That's why I understand
if you do hate me.
But I want you to
know this, Colby.
I'll always love you.
Even though our life together had
to end like this, I still wouldn't
trade it for the world. We had
some wonderful years together.
I know you never liked me but I have had a crush on you for years, no matter how you treated me I always admired you
Well this letter had gone on
too long so I'll say goodbye.
That means that as you read
this, I'm already dead.
-Y/N
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PREMIERE: KVKA - “CUPID BABY” (Music Video)
On December 1st 2014, 16 year-old New-Zealander KVKA of STAY SAVAGE dropped “WHO YOU” on Soundcloud. Since then, the song has gone on to become an Oceanic rap anthem, racking up well over a million plays worldwide. The guy stood out for his unique brand of rawness & intensity that more established artists in AUS/NZ just couldn’t fake, despite having large budgets/teams behind them.
Since then, KVKA has continued to carve his own path. Make the most of what he has. Always, pushing himself to go against the grain, keeping his local scene and international supporters entertained with a wild series of musical plot-twists.
We’re proud to premiere the music video for “CUPID BABY” - his latest successful sonic departure - which was directed by DAVID ARGUE of STAY SAVAGE.
As you can see, this whole experience is all about KVKA putting himself up on the world stage. His OUTLIERZ mixtape with DENZ1 sounded like some futuristic Ol' Dirty Bastard compilation.
It proved that he could stand & deliver lyrically without vocal effects/hooks. But, KVKA is clearly smart enough to know that there is true value in 2017-style trap… Has ambitions to push his genre into the future… Put his country on the map.
We caught up with the man himself to get the lowdown on a few things…
***
Is there a story behind "CUPID BABY"?
K: CUPIDBABY is the name is given to me by friends and family because I'm a sucker for love and born on valentines day. This time around it’s more because I'm reestablishing who I REALLY AM."
What inspired your latest move towards more contemporary sounds?
K: Just a yearning to go back to the sound I built my name on... but I wanted to wait until I had proven I could rap (with the release of OUTLIERZ), so it gave me credibility as a MC and not as a "Mumble Rapper”.
Do you think the music industry in New Zealand understands rap culture in 2017?
K: Not at all, the culture is more than spitting bars getting on this piss at the park and listening to "Golden Era" of rap. It's about holding yourself as a star, I think that is one thing New Zealanders are afraid of because of the social pressure here to be humble in your work.
Any local artists you’d like to shoutout?
Shoutout to my homies AVITO, KWOE, SHARKWEEK, AMMONATION, GALLANTINO & LMW (LORDSMOSTWANTED).
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