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snclovveerr · 6 months

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In my restless dreams I see that town

WARNING: Suicide,bullying, self harm, death

All y/n wanted to do was be friends with Colby but he never seemed too like her..

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

I never knew why Colby hated me so much but it hurt.

I knew today was going to be cold, I put on my flared jeans, white under top, nirvana shirt, and my favourite green woolen jumper.

I put on my perfume and started to cry from the pain of the mist on my wrist, why did I do this, was it too feel something? I don’t know but it helped.

What did I do so wrong to others? I hate this life.

I cried again.. I always cry in the mornings I hate looking at myself. It hurts so much to do such simple things. I wish I could just be a normal person.

I wiped my tears with my sleeve and started packing my bag.

TIME SKIP AT SCHOOL ☆

“Ew” Colby pointed to y/n

I felt hurt but this was a normal thing by now.. as I was putting my bag into my locker I grabbed my iPod and earbuds.

“Man I don’t know why you hate her so much she hasn’t done anything to you just leave it” Sam sighed

“I hate her because she is fucking ugly and disgusting, honestly I hope she dies no one even likes her” Colby laughed

I felt tears sting my eyes but I choked it back, I put my earbuds in and tuned out not wanting to hear his bullshit

As I was walking to first period I saw Colby and his friends out front the door I tried to ignore them but.

“god you’re so fucking disgusting just leave this school and don’t come back” Colby laughed as he put his foot out

I tripped and layed their hopelessly. What did I do wrong?..

Colby grabbed my books and ripped them

I couldn’t move I couldn’t do anything I just sat and watched.

I got up and ran to the bathroom.

Why the fuck does he treat me so bad what did I do wrong can I do anything to improve myself? Why is he so mean?? Thoughts ran through my head constantly as tears started rolling down my face.

I sat in the bathroom crying trying to think of solutions of how he would like me but nothing came to mind.but one thing did, it seemed too dramatic but it seemed like I couldn’t do anything else.

I grabbed my blade out from my pocket and pulled my sleeve up.

I cried looking at the blood running down my arm..

I can feel something, it’s almost as if I deserve this, I was clean for months but that was when Colby left for a trip, but everything is coming back now, I’m scared to go to school or even socialise with people, I can’t focus on work because he always takes my stuff and rips it.

I hear someone walk in the bathroom I decide to stay quiet

“I don’t understand why Colby does that shit to her like she seems so sweet??” A soft voice from outside said

“Apparently she liked him and he hates her, no one knows why though it’s stupid if he hates her for no reason” a girl said

I decided to walk out the stall even though they were defending me I didn’t want to hear about him right now.

While I was walking through the hallway it felt like eyes were on me everywhere I turned, did I do something wrong?

It’s almost the end of the year so I decided to just go home.

»»————> that night <————««

I had just woke up it was 3:00? Fuck I slept late

I grabbed my computer and started scrolling on twitter

What did Isla do wrong?-Lucy

She’s disgusting she is just like ugh I don’t even know why I hate her so much she just annoys me so much her presence pisses me off- Colby

Of course people were talking about me..

I did see people defending me in the replies but it didn’t feel like enough, Colby didn’t care and never did..

Everytime I had friends he would turn them against me no matter what I did to try and make them stay

I just want to be liked

I’ve had enough I don’t want to do this anymore I can’t

As I grabbed my paper from underneath my desk I stated to write

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

In my restless dreams,

I see that town.

Silent Hill.

You promised you'd take me

there again someday.

But you never did.

Well I'm alone there now...

In our 'special place'...

Waiting for you.

Waiting for you to

come to see me.

But you never do.

And so I wait, wrapped in my

cocoon of pain and loneliness.

I wish I could change

that, but I can't.

I feel so pathetic and ugly

laying here, waiting for you...

Every day I stare up at the cracks

in the ceiling and all I can think

about is how unfair it all is...

I think you know what I mean...

Even so, I'm glad to be coming

home. I've missed you terribly.

But I'm afraid Colby

I'm afraid you don't really

want me to come home.

Whenever you come see me,

I can tell how hard it is on you...

I don't know if you

hate me or pity me...

Or maybe I just disgust you...

I'm sorry about that.

That's why I understand

if you do hate me.

But I want you to

know this, Colby.

I'll always love you.

Even though our life together had

to end like this, I still wouldn't

trade it for the world. We had

some wonderful years together.

I know you never liked me but I have had a crush on you for years, no matter how you treated me I always admired you

Well this letter had gone on

too long so I'll say goodbye.

That means that as you read

this, I'm already dead.

-Y/N

#SoundCloud #colby brock imagine #ghost #sad #suicide #self harm #school

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