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blackleatherjacketz · 8 months

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Find Me After

Kirk x La'an (Strange New Worlds)

Summary: What if Kirk was single when La’an told him about her love affair with his Alternate Self?

Warnings: 18+ Only!, Mature Content, Mutual Pining, Survivor's Guilt, Angst, Longing, Grief, Alcohol, Flirting, Confessions of Love, Kissing, Neck Kissing, Dry Humping, Vaginal Fingering, Finger Sucking, Kirk being his usual slutty self:)

Tags: @bluemoonperegrine @liminal-zone

An entire universe of possibilities flickers in the golden browns of his eyes, blending into olive streaks as he stares at her from across the table. Those deep, earthy tones hold her fast as she tries to convince herself to look away, to look at anything else in her immediate vicinity, but she finds herself helplessly drawn in. Drawn into the same eyes that had longingly studied her face in a world far beyond her own, ones that had once lingered on her lips before he decided to press his against hers. Eyes that will now forever remain shut.

“So what did Sam really do to make you dig through his personnel file, huh?” His smile warms the empty space between them as he takes a sip of whiskey, those lively eyes of his all but twinkling in the dimming lights of the bar.

“Oh, you know Sam,” she reaches for a believable answer to give him as she follows suit, cautiously sipping her espresso martini for a jolt of energy and a bit of liquid courage. “Always pushing the limits of protocol in the name of xenobiology.”

She doesn’t have the heart to tell him that Sam is just as far gone as his own doppelgänger, that both of them are lucky to be alive in this current universe where she gets to enjoy their company in very different ways. That the news that his brother could still be alive in another timeline was enough for him to help her until the very end.

“Nah, that’s typical,” he interrupts her morose thought pattern with a slight, barely noticeable lean forward; but La’an notices everything. “You know, when I asked him about the Enterprise’s chief security officer, the person that I pictured was more gruff, stern and cold…” He pauses his cruel description of her to gently place his hand on top of hers, his half-cocked smirk reminding her of the familiarity he once shared with her. “Not someone nearly as warm and beautiful as you.”

La’an freezes at his touch, his warm fingertips brushing over the fine hair of her knuckles as the space between them grows smaller with his blatant compliment. Is it possible that the instant connection she’d felt with his alternate is somehow still there between them, here and now as the blood rushes to warm her cheeks? Or is she merely projecting her own desires onto this unknowing version of a man she barely knows, a man who only looks like the first person who’s ever seen that side of her?

“You don't mean that.” She leans in just enough to mirror his level of interest, a smile curling at the corner of her lips as her hand happily remains under his. She figures it couldn’t hurt to play into it, after all.

“I’m a Star Fleet officer, Lieutenant,” he reassures her with a wink. “I always say what I mean.” He smiles before swiftly pulling away, leaving her hand cool and empty as he leans back in his chair to take another swig of his drink. “So why don’t you start with the truth.”

“Excuse me?” She leans back in unison, taking offense at his tone before removing her hand from the table.

“So, why don’t you tell me why you really called me that day about Sam’s record,” he prods, a knowing smile crossing his lips, contradicting the consistent warmth of his friendly stare. “I may not always get along with my brother the way that I should, but I know he isn’t one to break protocol or get into trouble.”

He knows. The Jim that she’d gotten close to was always two or three moves ahead of everyone else on the chessboard, constantly thinking his way out of any problem that might come across his path, and saw no reason for this version of him to be any different.

“Lieutenant?” He attempts to bring her back to reality.

Uh-oh, she panics.

This was a mistake. She should have known better than to have tempted fate like this, than to have said anything or brought him here as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them. She should have never thought that she deserved something more than that brief glimmer of hope… than that fleeting flash of love she chose to share with him. She should have known that all she was destined to experience in this life was the heavy grief and painful heartache of survivor’s guilt.

“I should go,” she whispers under her breath, standing up from her seat to disguise her obvious embarrassment.

“Please don’t.” He grabs onto her wrist, eyes wearily aiding him in keeping her near as he silently pleads for her to stay. “You’ll waste a perfectly good martini.” He points to her half finished cocktail with his opposite hand as nearly every eye in the bar begins to watch them, their collective conversations hushed into a dull whisper.

La’an watches his features soften, that mask of performative flirtation seeming to melt away entirely as flashes of the other Kirk, of ‘her Jim’ begin to break through. She takes her time sitting with the obvious discomfort of her crew’s heated glare, weighing the pros and cons of berating him in front of them for touching her in such a flippant manner. They all knew that if any other person had grabbed her like that, they’d have been met with a quick elbow to the nose or shoulder… or something worse. Only he wasn’t any other person.

“You can finish it for me, if you’d like,” she suggests, gingerly taking her arm back from his longing grasp as the crowd slowly begins talking amongst themselves again. “But if you really want to know,” she clears her throat and adjusts the top half of her uniform, pulling it taut down her torso. “Meet me in my quarters in twenty minutes.”

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“So what was so important you couldn’t tell me at the bar, huh?” He waltzes into her personal quarters after she opens the door, turning around to face her once he’s halfway into her living room. “Did Sam tell you about all the bar fights I got into back in the day or…?”

“No,” she cuts him off with a shake of her head. “Nothing like that.” Instead, she points to her coffee table adorned with an ancient tea set, silently inviting him to sit and stay a while.

He follows her gaze over to the couch, nodding before casually sitting down on the stiff sofa with his arm slung across the back rest. “Is there another reason you invited me back to your quarters late at night?” He smirks, “People might talk.”

“Right,” she hadn’t really thought of that. “Well, I just didn’t want anyone else to hear what I’m about to tell you.”

“Okay,” he leans forward with piqued interest. “I’m listening.”

“It’s just that I know you.” She bites the bullet and confesses the bulk of the bitter truth right away, not allowing herself any room for retreat. If she doesn’t tell him how she feels right here and now, she fears that she won't ever be able to do it again.

“Yeah, and now I know you. That’s hardly a good enough reason to invite someone out then leave your guest all alone at the bar after only one drink.” He relaxes a bit and sits back in his seat. “Half of one, actually.”

“No, that’s not what I'm saying.” She follows suit and sits down next to him, his scent somehow more intoxicating at this close proximity. Are those notes of sandalwood and citrus she’s smelling? How had she not noticed those before?

Focus, La’an, focus!

“What I’m trying to say is that I really know you… romantically.” She picks up the handle of the teapot and begins pouring the piping hot liquid into both of their cups, glancing up quickly before setting it down and looking away. “Or at least… a different version of you.”

“A different version of me?” His eyebrows all but disappear into his hairline before falling back down, only to furrow in between his eyes. He swallows hard, scooting in closer with genuine curiosity as she maintains her stoic posture. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

She nods, mentally urging herself to continue. “I know that I’m supposed to ignore it, to pretend that it never happened, but whenever I see you here on this ship…” She takes the chance to stare into his eyes, ready to be ridiculed, only to be met with solemn understanding. “Whenever you look at me like that, it reminds me of the other version of you and it’s almost the exact same feeling I get when he looked at me on Earth.”

Jim tilts his head before placing his hand onto her knee, holding eye contact as he studies the pieces on the board in front of him, trying to plan out his next move. He allows his thumb to gently rub the inside of her thigh, to change that worried expression on her face into a relaxed smile as it brushes over the dark fabric of her uniform. “Do you like the way I look at you?”

“More than anything,” she confesses in a stifled whisper. “And I know it wasn’t you, but a part of me can’t help but wish that it was.” She takes in a deep breath, turning her body towards him as his knee slowly slides between her thighs, his hand all but guiding her into him. “Look, I know it’s a lot to take in, that it’s unfair to compare you to someone who made me feel so happy and free, but there was an alternate timeline and he…”

Jim’s lips press against hers just as easily as they had before, soft and gentle as the warmth of his kiss intensifies, magically relieving all the tension she held in her neck and shoulders. That faint scent of his cologne mixes in with the hint of whiskey still on his lips as she parts her own to embrace this welcome connection. Somehow all of that grief and sorrow she’s been carrying with her has been lifted, the sensation of his mouth now all she can think about as her hands find their way onto his chest.

“What was that for?” She can’t help but ask as he barely pulls away.

“You were about to tell me the secrets to an alternate timeline,” he pecks at her lips again, an amused smile wrinkling the skin around his eyes as he runs his fingertips over the grooves in her braids. “I’m just trying to save your ass from the time police.”

“Oh, is that right?” She laughs, nudging her nose against his as her hands smooth their way up his neck into his hairline. “You know about the time police?”

“I thought everybody did.” He kisses her again, more fervently this time as his tongue brushes against hers, parting her lips with a more passionate hunger than the other version of him ever had.

La’an allows herself to feel that hunger, too, that need she always heard about but never quite understood until now. It pulses in her core, growing in warmth the more he touches her as he practically breathes new life into her lungs. She inhales this new yet familiar feeling, remembering flashes of it with the other Jim before it increases her desire to taste every inch of him, that primal urge to feel his skin flush against hers. In an attempt to do so, her teeth practically clash against his as she pulls him in even closer, her breath quickening as she feels the shock of his palms against the bare skin beneath her uniform.

“Did the other Me make you feel anything like this?” He shifts his weight so that he’s practically on top of her, his thigh rhythmically rubbing against her needy center as his hands survey every supple peak and valley of her chest beneath the fabric of her shirt.

“Yes,” she gasps as he continues kissing a blissful trail down her jaw and neck, his tongue doing wonders to her sensitive, untouched skin. “I mean no, nothing like this.”

He smirks against her throat as he feels her match the slow, hypnotic rhythm of his knee, thrusting her hips up into him as the sporadic pattern of her breathing eventually mirrors his own.

“How about this?” He slides his hand down the front of her pants and watches her face change, those dark brows of hers knitting together in pleasure as his fingers dip down between her folds before the deafening sound of a hail echoes against the walls, halting his progress.

“LA’AN, YOU’RE NEEDED ON THE BRIDGE.” Una’s authoritative tone brings them out of the moment and into the present as they both hold their breath in unison, looking up at the speaker on the wall. “LA’AN?”

“Yes,” she finally responds as Jim brushes his fingertips over her swollen bud a few times, spreading her growing moisture up and down her length before freeing his hand from her wasteband. She watches him coyly suck her juices off his digits as she attempts to finish communicating with her superior officer, clearing her throat in order to sound more professional. “Yes, I’ll be there soon. Umm… acknowledged!”

“Damnit.” He laughs before his head drops onto her chest with a defeated sigh, his auburn locks now resting against her chin as he listens to the pounding beat of her heart. He smoothes his hands up under her shirt as her back instinctively arches into his embrace, kissing the fabric of her shirt before laying there in silence. He wonders just how lucky his alternate had to have been to find her in an another universe, especially one that ended up bringing them both together in this one, here and now.

“I’d better go,” she sighs, weaving her fingers through his hair as her chest rises and falls in utter disbelief. “Even if I don’t want to.”

“I don’t want you to, either.” He lifts his head to look her over, to really take her in as he caresses her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “But I’m pretty sure Captain Pike would have something to say if he knew I was keeping you.” He leans down to kiss her lips one more time. “Come find me after?”

#strange new worlds #james t kirk #la'an noonien singh #la'an x kirk #kirk x la'an #star trek #star trek: strange new worlds #star trek fan fiction #paul wesley #christina chong #la'an noonien singh x james t kirk

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titanicnerd-blog · 9 months

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I do believe that was the GREATEST THING I'VE EVER WITNESSED ON TELEVISION. I laughed. I cried. I SCREAMED IN EXCITEMENT.

#st snw #star trek strange new worlds #subspace rhapsody #no spoilers but OMG JUST WATCH IT #the music is actually really well done #i had to watch the Klingon part twice because i was laughing too hard to hear it the 1st time #kirk x la'an #my heart is 💔

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arabian-bloodstream · 8 months

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La'an & Kirk: A Theory

I have a theory about La'an and Kirk!

La'an and Kirk actually first met in their first alternate timeline. In the first season finale, 1x10, "Quality of Mercy," this timeline was created after Pike prevented the death of some Starfleet cadets. La'an transferred from the Operations division to the Command division. She reached the rank of Commander and was assigned to the… wait for it! USS Farragut under, oh yes, the command of Captain James T. Kirk.

So, that is Timeline Number One.

Then in season 02, 2x03, "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow," La'an is bum-rushed by a man in a business suit who hands her a device and tells her to save the bridge. She goes to the bridge where the captain is James T. Kirk, but it's not her bridge (obviously, no Pike), and he's not the captain of her Enterprise in her universe (again, duh, no Pike). We are now in another alternate timeline. The Vulcans and Romulans and Klingons and everyone hates each other and cats and dogs are all fighting! It's war! War! War!

So, this is Timeline Number Two.

Jim reaches for the device in La'an's hand and activates it and they are transported to Earth 21st century. They steal clothing, play chess, hang out in a hotel room, engage in car chases, visit a new, old friend, save the future, and develop the feels for one another, have a kissy-face, and then Kirk dies before La'an does what she has to do (i.e., letting her evil future ancestor live), and she gets transported back to her timeline. La'an sends a subspace call to Kirk to say 'Hey!' -- as they had never spoken or met prior -- but then is visited by a temporal bigwig who tells her no telling anyone, that's a big no-no!

That be Timeline Number Three.

In the current timeline in which La'an normally occupies, Lieutenant James T. Kirk comes on over to the Enterprise and he and La'an officially meet. Subspace harmonies happen and truths do be spilled in song, so La'an decides to break the big timey-wimey no-no to Kirk before a 17th sea shanty can do the deed. He too feels the connection, but alas, his on again/off again girlfriend is on because she's preggers. So, welps!

And this, folks, is Timeline Number Four.

So, my theory!

Kirk and La'an have now been thrown together in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different alternate timelines. That's a lot of timelines for two people to be linked together. Now, admittedly, the two in "TATAT" are tied together, but they are still two separate timelines. The kicker is the one from "Quality of Mercy." Another one? Really?! So, yeah. And, it has been pointed out, if you take a gander at her uniform, it looks as if she is not only in command but as if she is his First Officer, his Number One! Uh, yeah.

However, before we dive into that, let's look deeper at the conversation between the real timeline Kirk and La'an which I feel has been misrepresented overall from what I've read. The overall take I've seen is that Kirk and La'an are dunzos because of that convo, and I dunno, I just didn't even remotely get that. Kirk made things very clear, and based on what we know about life in this era, other things can be pretty clearly inferred, and based on what we know from The Wrath of Khan we know other things.

So, let's do some numbering.

Life is complicated.

In other words, the fact that he has a girlfriend who is pregnant is "complicated," not good or happy, but rather "complicated."

She is his "sometimes" girlfriend.

That in and of itself is NEVER how one should describe their significant other. Like EVA!

Carol is intensely dedicated to her job on Starfleet One.

He tends to not stay in one place for long which is a growing problem since Carol is pregnant.

We are putting these two together because Carol is intensely dedicated to her job ON STARFLEET ONE, while Jim tends to NOT STAY IN ONE PLACE LONG. Ie., yeah, it's complicated. This is basically a bright, neon glaring sign that this is a relationship that is not for long. Like at all. (Even if we didn't already know that.)

So, OK, in this era, it's not really easy to get pregnant what with modern technology and medicine, right?

Carol is his "sometimes" girlfriend who ain't leaving Starfleet One, while her "sometimes" boyfriend goes flying all over the place, and she just happens to get preggers? Hmm, OK, then. We know from "The Wrath of Khan" that when David shows up and finds out about Kirk, Kirk, of course already knows, and tells Carol, "I stayed away like YOU wanted me to." Mmhmm!

So, with all that said, I'm speculating that Carol either (a) got herself pregnant to make Kirk stay on Starfleet One or (b) was so busy science'ing up she got preggers. Either way, being pregnant it came down to he needed to make a choice choose her and his kid, or her career and the stars. And Kirk chose his career and the stars. And that is what is going to come out… and La'an will be there through the fall-out because there likely will be fall-out from like Sam, and Kirk just feeling guilty and all that.

But what about the timelines? Well, so my theory is that Kirk and La'an have a relationship, happiness, blah blah blah, while he's on the Farragut, she's on Enterprise, etc., and then as we get near the end of SNW's run, some big choice has to happen. In order to save lives or some such, La'an makes a sacrifice, saving peeps, but in the process, everyone in the current timeline forgets her. Thus, no mention of La'an when they meet Khan, no mention of her and Kirk, or basically just her at all in TOS.

But for her sacrifice, she gets:

TADA!! Timeline Number Five….

In this one, she and Kirk live happily ever after. And her family didn't die at the hands of the Gorn. So on and so forth.

Or maybe this is all just wishful thinking, hahahahaha!

#ka'an #kirk x la'an #la'an noonien singh #james t kirk #paul wesley #christina chong #strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds #speculation

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kirk-laan · 8 months

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Just for fun. If you want, you can take it as the scene it's from.

e.g. discretion is his middle name = the whole convo about Kirk's middle name

It's up to you.

ETA: ooops, I meant: Stickler for orderly security records.

#la'an noonien singh #james t kirk #star trek snw #star trek strange new worlds #kirk x la'an #la'an x kirk #ka'an #jim kirk #poll

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romulanslutempire · 10 months

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Captain James T. Kirk Commander La'an Noonien-Singh & Colonel Sera

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds "A Quality of Mercy".

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neyafromfrance95 · 10 months

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How do you feel about kirk x la’an?

oh, i really liked their story!

i didn't expect to like it bc i was hoping for kirk/uhura, but kirk/la'an had absolutely delicious chemistry, story was quite compelling and that ending? la'an crying after talking to her timeline's kirk? it made me tear up!

i'm not sure if they continue developing kirk/la'an romantically though, since kirk that la'an fell for is not the same kirk who exists in her timeline, i think that's partially why she was so saddened in the end - she knew it's not really the man she shared a profound bond with (which is so tragic).

and to be honest, i still have fingers crossed for uhura/kirk. i have always low-key shipped them. i mean, tos!kirk/uhura had the first interracial kiss on tv, how iconic is that?! and we are going to have uhura/kirk episode in s2, so i'm really looking forward to that!

also, i might have a delulu shipper goggles on, but i think the way they characterized uhura and kirk in snw, these two could have a quite compatible and thrilling dynamic. while snw!kirk seems to be considerably older than snw!uhura, that doesn't take away from the potential pairing's sexiness.

basically, i'm down with kirk/la'an but would love some kirk/uhura. however, i would also love it if the writers brought in a new character as uhura's love interest as well, to be honest!

#asks #star trek: strange new worlds #kirk/la'an #kirk/uhura #kirk x uhura #kirk x la'an #snw #cadet uhura #lieutenant uhura #snw uhura

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silver-cleo · 10 months

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Reposting from my own twitter, becuase I can. Also repeat, I TRACED and COLOURED these picture, the extent of my artistic capabilities is to colour within the lines.

#kirk x la'an #james kirk x la'an noonien singh #la'an noonien singh #james t kirk #la'rk #star trek strange new worlds #snw 2x03 #tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow #i fkn love these two

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chiefnooniensingh · 9 months

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is2g if Jim and La'an being together is part of a song or an hallucination or a dream then I will flip SO MUCH SHIT

#WE DESERVE THIS CANON #star trek snw #subspace rhapsody #kirk x la'an

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thestarlightforge · 9 months

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Idk what I was expecting from that La’an/Kirk interaction in “Subspace Rhapsody,” but I gotta say, “I got somebody pregnant” was NOT on my Bingo card 😂💀

#brings a whole new light to that Spirk handshake in 2x06 as well 💀#tbh though I like this for La’an. she got her emotional growth & didn’t need a man to keep it #la’an/kirk #kirk x la'an #star trek snw #star trek strange new worlds #star trek: strange new worlds

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salixlikescake · 9 months

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That musical trailer has me excited for this pairing.

I do prefer her with Spock currently, and I definitely feel for the Spock x Kirk ‘shippers. But also I just want La’An to be happy! I think her being so shiny and new and not having an existing storyline to live up to makes me appreciate the character more in the moment.

#laan noonien singh #la’an noonien singh #james t kirk #la’an x kirk #kirk x la'an #star trek strange new worlds #st snw #fanart

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lenievi · 8 months

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in hindsight, the scene between Kirk and La'an in Lost in Translation (I'm just thinking out loud, this isn't an analysis):

when La'an said "And you're the type who can't walk past a stranger in need." Kirk reacted weirdly to it.

In the context of the episode when it first aired, to me, it felt as if Kirk thought she was mocking him, and I personally also chose to see it as him thinking "wow so you also just think I'm hitting on everyone" (and I do stand by it in the context of the episode itself), however I wonder if now, there couldn't be more to it

perhaps, it was something Carol also said and they argued, perhaps it was something he's been thinking about for some time, since the moment he learned he's going to be a father

and he opens up about something that's been on his mind

"My, uh, my dad was in Starfleet. My mom, my brother and I, we spent my whole childhood chasing him from one posting to another, barely seeing him. When I'd ask why, my mom would always say, "He's helping people who really need it." But when you're a kid, you think…"

He's talking about himself, because if he's going to become a father, the thoughts of his own father are on his mind, not to mention, Sam had brought him up before, but he is also thinking about his child. Because Jim, too, is in Starfleet. And his child might end up like him - barely seeing his father.

and then La'an voices out something heavy: "Why does he care more about strangers than he does about me?"

was this what Kirk himself felt as a child, or is he now hearing his future child's thoughts? Is this what he's been asking himself for a while? "Are strangers more important to me than my own child?"

Out loud he says, "So you tell yourself, 'Hey, if my dad chose helping total strangers over me, it must... must be important.'"

He's trying to convince himself here too. That his job is important. It must be important. It was important for his father. Enough to not be there for his family when Kirk was a child.

And La'an says, "As one of those strangers that Starfleet helped, I promise you… it is."

In her own way, she's thanking him for helping Uhura imho. But what Kirk is hearing is someone telling him that yes, his job is important. It can make a difference, but Kirk is still conflicted. Is it more important than my child?

"My life is complicated (...) I tend not to stay in the same place for very long, which is… a growing problem, because Carol is… pregnant."

and he continues having doubts

#jim kirk #la'an noonien singh #snw nonsense #star trek snw #kirk x la'an #ka'an #headcanon times #yeah anyway just thinking lol #was writing the previous post and this thought also appeared lol #la'an confusing kirk more. making his life even more complicated is chef's kiss #snw will one day make their own version but i'll keep holding onto my thoughts until then

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