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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost Part 2

Not that anybody was really waiting for this, but here is the second part of the playlist with an explanation for each song. If you are interested in reading my rant on the first 20 songs, you can check the post I made last week HERE.

Without further ado, I'll leave you to my rant for songs 21 to 40.

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❧ One in a Million - Midnight to Monaco

Tears fall like acid rain and it burns me through the skin It's taken everything from me, I've lost my innocence The bats brings the night today, watch them turn the sky to black Like a gun that fires that sound again Frightens me until the bitter end I can't keep holding on And I hide away I need it to keep me from breaking down And I'm under Baby I can't carry on, dead and I've been buried on Baby, I was one in a million Even if our love was strong, take me down and let it fall Baby, I was one in a million And I was holding, burning, waking, turning Tasting blood and losing time I want to get a hold of myself Baby, I was one in a million [...] And I need it to keep me from thinking I won't find my wings no more

This entire song is about how someone's life gets absolutely destroyed by drug abuse. Or at least, that's how I always interpreted this. But drug abuse always makes me think about any kind of obsessions doing exactly the same thing. So I love this song for Anakin in particular. That "I was one in a million" giving me this "Chosen One" vibe. Like he got lost on the way to what he was supposed to be, and now that he's fallen he has no clue how to get back to what he was supposed to be, that one in a million.

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❧ Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no, I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough [...] Every whisper, of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool [...] Consider this the hint of the century Consider this the slip That brought me to my knees, failed

Another classic song that is in basically any ships' playlist. And it fits so much with unrequited love (or pining in general). How can I not think of Obi-Wan trying desperately to be a good Jedi while he's well aware of his feelings for Anakin?

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❧ Hurt Me - Lapsley

Can't look at you the same way, anticipatin' heartbreak And I know, and I know, and I know I'm puttin' on a brave face to meet you in the same place And I know, and I know, and I know Gotta let my mind find another space 'Cause I heard these scars never go away And now I'm runnin' out of ways to numb the pain So if you're gonna hurt Why don't you hurt me a little bit more? Just dig a little deeper Push a little harder than before [...] Like breathing underwater, what's the law and order? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know You're sitting in a corner, hiding til it's over And it shows, and it shows, and it shows Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love, force me to drown Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love And I thought you said you still loved me [...] And I'm counting down the seconds that we have I can see the end in sight, at last So if you're gonna hurt me Why don't you hurt me a little bit more?

This entire song makes me think of one of those situations where both of them are pining and convinced that the other is about to tell them something that would end up breaking their heart. Basically first half is Obi-Wan knowing from the start that they won't work, maybe because he thinks Anakin is in love with Padmé and that's what Anakin wants to talk about; second half is Anakin, sure that Obi-Wan would deny having feelings for him because of how much he loves being a Jedi so he tries to be a better Jedi for the sake of Obi-Wan. Because I love the trope of both of them being too oblivious to realize they are in love.

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❧ The Shelter of My Love - Astropol

When you have nothing to lose No one dear and no one to care for Non one sees you but I do I'll take you in I won't let you go Oh the middle of the night Black as tar and eager to hold you Just as pretty as my love Just as hungry Just as eternal [...] When you have no bridge to burn No place to go, no place to return to No one loves you like I do I love you [...] When you have nothing to lose And nightfall comes, eager to hold you No one loves you like I do I love you I love you, I love you Oh shelter of my faith All the peril, all the weight Mighty glorious The shelter of my faith Oh shelter of my trust All the longing, all the lust God will help you if you lost the shelter of my trust

I'm perfectly aware that this is a song about faith. It's basically like a call to pray because even when you are lost the one person that will always be there for you is God. BUT, this actually works pretty well for the Jedi Order too. And if we think of how Anakin joined the Jedi, how he felt like the only thing he would lose is his mother, it kinda makes sense with these lyrics. And even Obi-Wan: he was given to the Jedi when he was so young that that's the only life he knows. At the same time, it can be about Anakin and Obi-Wan finding that solace in each other too, because sure, the entire Order is there to support them. But it's almost like it's their last option to them, because when in need the first person they go to is the other.

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❧ The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You should know me by now. If a song that is basically perfect for Obi-Wan post RotS, I'm gonna find it. And this one is just PERFECT! Like, Obi-Wan absolutely feels like he owes something to the universe because he is the one who failed Anakin, who allowed him to fall. So I imagine him wanting a do-over, a chance to stay away from Anakin so that Anakin can be better and his own heart can't be broken in such a terrible way. Basically, this is also perfect for a time traveler Obi-Wan trying to fix things from day 1.

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❧ Danger - JKAY feat Shola Ama

I'm a million reasons in And I'm going out on a limb But I can't, no I can't deny Cause I, I fell in love with danger And I think I found a stranger in you The boy that I knew, left me torn into two And I don't know what to do

Nothing fancy about this one, just Obi-Wan realizing there is a wild side to the cute, totally unable to flirt young teenager he took care of for so long. Basically something to write smut on. You all know you need these kind of songs too. (And I picked the acoustic version because it gives me more soft love-making vibes, but the original one is perfect for a more passionate kind of mood).

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❧ Amandoti - Giovanni Lindo Ferretti

Loving you makes me weary, guts my insides (It’s) Something that feels like laughing in tears Loving you makes me weary, it makes me sorrowful What can you do (about it), that’s life That’s life, my (life) [...] Loving you comforts my sleepless nights It’s something that replaces old dead flames Loving you comforts me, it gives me joy What can you do (about it), that’s life But (that) life is my life Love me once more, do it softly One year, one month, one hour (Do it) Hopelessly Love me once more, do it softly Just for an hour But let it be forever

I was forced to put the live version from the original composer in the playlist, but a couple of weeks ago I posted a link to Maneskin's cover of this song (which, isn't on Spotify). You can check it out HERE, with a full translation of the lyrics (yes, Italian songs will always be a thing for this playlist, get over it). Like I said in the tags of that post, this is just another one of those songs that give me post RotS Obi-Wan feels. Just him all alone and heartbroken wishing he could feel Anakin's love just once more. Simply perfection.

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❧ Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers

Hush now baby, there's no need to cry Let me wipe away those lemon eyes All your worries, such a waste of time You can't even see how much you're mine You're so bitter, bitter, bitter, yellow Settle, settle, got to settle down, okay Listen, listen, you listen, yellow It's a killer, a killer, a killer jealousy Lemon eyes, you're mine Yellow eyes, all mine I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away Honey you can't hide Lemon eyes, all mine

Do I even have to explain this? It's basically perfect for all of Anakin's issues with jealousy, but with what yellow eyes mean in this fandom it could absolutely be about Sith!Anakin. It's just such a fitting song for these two, with Obi-Wan trying to reason with a very unreasonable Anakin... (And I might have anonymously suggested to someone to listen to it as a good song for their fic. *coff coff* @tennessoui *coff coff*)

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❧ 10 Years - Daði Freyr

We've been together for a decade now Still everyday I'm lovin' you more If I could do it all again I'd probably do it all the same as before I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had had your love I didn't became myself before I met you I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had felt you love Everything about you, I like We started out so fast Now we can take it slower Love takes some time Takes a little time, so take a litte time As it ages like wine [...] And just when I thought that my heart was full I found place that I never explored You're so fascinating And I can't remember the last time I was bored [...] How does it keep getting better? Everyday our love finds a new way to grow The time we spend together Simply feels good We got a good thing going

How could I not put this song in this playlist? Like, it can literally be about how in the many years together, their love for each other grew and grew, and changed to get better with time. But it can also be just Anakin and Obi-Wan in an established relationship, since this is technically a song about a ten years anniversary. I just LOVE IT. It's super sweet and we all need fluff sometimes.

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❧ Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

It was always you there Dancing towards me Grabbing both my hands like Here we go, here we go again Maybe it was destiny We were so familiar But you caught me staring And I don't know, I don't know, I guess [...] And when you're near me I can't help but be under your spell Can I make you believe you're the only one I need? [...] It must've been something A switch in my brain It kept me in motion It drove me insane It must've been something Something you said You're pulling me under Holding me close Inside my head Oh, it's a different kind of love And when I see your face I know, I know You got me going Oh, and this could be enough I'm dreaming wide awake I know, I know

Classic friends to lovers AU song that works wonders with Anakin's kind of love, all obsessive and stuff. Definitely can picture teen Anakin pining over Obi-Wan to the tune of this, all awkward boners at absolutely inappropriate times and Obi-Wan never truly pointing it out, because he doesn't want to make Anakin even more uncomfortable.

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❧ Ruthless - GIRLI

Home? What's that? I got a doll's house with a few cracks Grew too tall, now I'm poking out the attic My feet are in the basement 'cause I never wanna hack it Life, what's that? Life, what's that? [...] Take my soul, Take me down Take me back to the beginning of this when I was still innocent Me, sorry who? I'm a kid in a grown-up suit Looking in the mirror tryna figure out who's Banging on the glass 'cause they're tryna break through Is it me? Is it you? Think it's me, wish I knew Take me, use me, screw me over Play me like I like losing Trip me, trick me, drug me Say you love me but you like cheating You're the only one to blame You made me this way Guess that's why I'm so damn Ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless Only way to do it When you break me and I lose it Oh, you made me You made me so damn fucking ruthless [...] Yeah it's tragic All the bad bits Made me so damn ruthless No, it's not me I don't wanna be Ruthless

Being a woman, I know perfectly that this song is about how sometimes women have to grow up to be mean because of all of the abuse they go throw in their life. But I kind of see Anakin as this person that would absolutely blame everyone else for his fall to the Dark Side and this works so well! Like, the doll house is a metaphor for how the Jedi Order was supposed to be his home, but in the end he felt like he was used, like the Jedi told him they loved him just to trick him into doing whatever they wanted, basically cheating him of a simpler life with his mom. And even the looking in the mirror thing could be when he's already in the Vader suit and he doesn't know if Vader is what he was supposed to be all along or somewhere inside him there's this young innocent child trying to get out. What can I say, most of the times I have Obi-Wan feelings. But every once in a while I find something twisted enough to give me Anakin/Vader feelings too.

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❧ All or Nothing - Wild Youth

I remember when we were younger We used to stay up late We used to watch the sun go down, the sun go down Yeah at night I, I think about ya How I spent so long living without ya You're all I need, the air I breathe So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing I'm a million miles away and I feel so low I've been driving all night just to get back home to you To you See the sunrise, it's a classi break Driving down roads that I used to take with you With you Every streetlight, new horizon Start to wonder if you realise Oh, we were vain, was more than friends So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing

Okay, this is kind of perfect for a very specific kind of AU. Like, the "they used to be childhood friends, then got separated by life, but they were always meant for each other, so after meeting once by chance after years separated, they can't go back to their life, they have to stay with the other" kind of specific AU. The song might work with how the Clone Wars kept them separate too, but... yeah. It's kinda specific. Sorry not sorry.

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❧ Someone Like You - Noah Kahan feat. Joy Oladokun

Guess I'm a mess now Lost with my head down I haven't heard from you in weeks You must have left town I can't go back now And all that I have now Are those feelings I felt Knowing that no one else can bring them back out And I've been trying to find a silver lining But I can't But I can't Now that I can't hold you I wish that I had tried to Do more not to lose you Now that I can't find you Because the second you left, yeah the voice in my head screamed "What did I do?" Now you're gone and all I want is someone like you

Once again, ignoring that this is a song about a couple breaking up after one of the two cheated because this is also perfect for Anakin confessing his love for Obi-Wan as soon as he's a Knight. He was sure that would make Obi-Wan accept his love and try to get in a relationship, instead Obi-Wan panicked and asked to get sent as far away from Anakin as he could. So of course Anakin is filled with regret about his confession.

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❧ Big Boy - Charlotte Cardin

Maybe if I spell it out Big boy will take me on proper You nailed my heart to your wall You never dusted off after [...] Maybe if I'm a broken wing Big boy in my nest You nailed my heart to your wall And disposed of the rest of me With your push and shove Like what's love ain't love But it's love to me My boy is not a man yet My boy is not a man yet But boy do I love it when you kiss my neck Oh boy last night was perfect You're changing my mind Like what's mine ain't mine Be mine to be Maybe if we try again Big boy we could have it my way You nailed my heart to your wall But it was damaged anyways

Another song to write smut to, but smut with feels. Mainly Obi-Wan's, that maybe feels like Anakin played with him just so that they could sleep together, but never actually tried to put a pin on what their relationship is supposed to be after. And Obi-Wan realizes that part of the reason is that Anakin is still so young and maybe he's the one that made a mistake. Like, he's not even sure that what he feels is real, but he still keeps following what Anakin wants because what is the alternative after all?

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❧ Home with You - Marie Dahlstrom

Happy to be home with you Happy to wake up with you Even after all that you've benne through Happy that you feel the same Hope that I can ease the pain Happy to come by 'Cause you just give me life And I love spending time with you It's easy when I want you like that I don't regret it even if you might think That I've got Plenty other reasons in my head Plenty other questions still unsaid Nobody knows where you'll go but I'm here [...] I don't understand it all Still I will accept your flaws Just the way that you're accepting mine No, I'm not really one to judge We can laugh it off because It's just one life for you and I and I know [...] Feels so good when it's You by my side I could just stay all night I could just stay all night I love the things you do Nobody knows where we'll go but I'm here Baby, whenever you need me Baby come over, baby come over Whenever you need I will always be by your side

This song can honestly fit multiple things. It can absolutely be Obi-Wan accepting that Anakin reaches out for him only in certain situations and him always being open to it, no matter how their relationship isn't really the traditional kind of relationship (like, a friends with benefits kind of deal). But it can also be Obi-Wan and Anakin getting together when Anakin is already Vader, so Obi-Wan is slowly falling to the Dark Side too. You can also just use this as another song to write soft love making too since it's so slow and soft. Or just do whatever you want with it.

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❧ Hands Tied - Beatrich

You got me home sick for your arms The arms that keep me close But you just slip though my fingers Like I'm tryna catch a ghost I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never ask I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never And you stand there Looking at me with my hands tied And how foolish Foolish of me to let this one slide I'm terrified The roots are way too deep And there is no way out You just stand there Looking at me with my hands tied

Huge vibes of Anakin being mad in love with Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan pushing him away because he sees Anakin as a brother, not as a lover. And there's all kind of pining from Anakin because of the unrequited love and he tries to do crazy stuff for Obi-Wan hoping he will fall in love with him but it fails... Yeah, that's the angst that hurts in the best way! (But, you know, can totally be reversed to Obi-Wan in love with Anakin in a canon scenario with Anakin married to Padmé.)

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❧ Same Bed - Lola Young

I'm too quick to judge, too fast to fuck If we're lonely and I'm No good in love, 'cause the last time I ended up a little dead inside Sorry I lied, I do not want you, no Sorry my pride's a little too high To let you know I cried when you said you had to go, baby [...] (whispered) Fuck then, don't do this to me now Don't say my name when you're talking to me Don't say we're on the same page Don't look away when you walk into me I like the pain, I like the pain I'm making it hard for you to move on And be lonely 'cause I'm So good with words that the last time I broke his heart [...] I got a bit drunk yesterday evening and I Told you some things I didn't mean, oh did I? Hate it, I hate it when I get complacent I love it when you pull that face and we make mistakes Utterly wasted And wake up in the same bed In the same t-shirt I told you I loved you in The same regrets Like wearing the t-shirt I told you I love you in [...] I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself Can't make a fool of myself, baby God, it's so frustrating, making such a fool of myself Gotta make do with myself, baby I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself You make a fool of myself, baby Let's overcomplicate it, maybe just lose ourselves

Back with the complicated relationship and the angst. Can see this in a canon compliant AU with both Anakin and Obi-Wan not really wanting to admit they are in love with each other, but somehow they always end up sleeping together, and telling the other how much they love them just to regret all of it the day after. Basically making things complicated for no reason other than Obi-Wan not wanting to break the rules/his belief that he's meant for infinite sadness, but also because Anakin can't give up on this twisted love despite how much it hurts him and being petty in trying to make Obi-Wan suffer just as much.

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❧ Ghost - Harper

Not putting lyrics here because this entire song gives me Obi-Wan on Tatooine post-RotS vibes. Like, he's literally on the planet Anakin came from, there to protect Anakin's kids. OF COURSE he sees Anakin's "ghost". Like, he sees so much of Anakin in Luke when he grows up. And it feels kind of fitting as a punishment for Obi-Wan to be slowly going crazy because he keeps being haunted by this image of Anakin around him. Literally this line: "why you gotta make me weak to make me stronger". That's Obi-Wan trying to get over this love for Anakin and realizing that he has to mourn and suffer before he becomes stronger and able to get free from this ghost's hold. (But, you know, Anakin's ghost might even be actually Anakin, in a scenario where Anakin is actually trapped inside of Vader and trying to get free by reaching out to Obi-Wan for help.)

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❧ Qualcosa di Grande - Cesare Cremonini

What happened, you changed You are not the same Or are you still the one That grew up with me What happened, you ran away And with you so did my life I searched for it, I searched for it But I found it only in you There's something important between us That you can never change Not even if you want to But there's something important between us That you can never forget Not even if you want to What happened, you fell You fell too low and now you try to climb back up But it's a struggle you don't want [...] What happened, your light Your light is obscured By someone that I know And that took you away from me What happened, your star Your star eclipsed And now (I dare you to) shine from the darkness without me

Yet another song that gives me RotS feels. It's obviously a break up song, a song about regrets and struggling to move on. So of course in it I see Anakin falling to the Dark Side and Obi-Wan trying to remind him of what is between the two of them so that Anakin comes back to him. (If you want to read the complete translation, you can check it out here.)

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❧ Dark Side - Phoebe Ryan

At your worst, you're the best Baby I don't want another version, no Hard to love, hard to trust But don't change Don't be a better person for me 'Cuz I'm in love with your dark side I'm in love with your dark side So don't turn on the light [...] Even if it hurts, I want you heart Even at your worst, I love you hard If you wanna keep me, go too far

Another song that is more of a both!Sith AU but also something Vaderwan would work honestly. I like the twisted nature of this kind of love so much in fics. Can absolutely works with any version of Anakin or/and Obi-Wan being the bad guy in the story.

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All done! All 20 new songs I added to the original playlist explained away. Like last time, I hope you find any of this entertaining or useful. If any of this inspires your creativity, don't be shy and tag me on your stuff. I'll gladly read it/watch it/enjoy it.

#obikin #obikin playlist #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you use any of these please tag me #i wanna see all of the content!#feel free to suggest songs if you want #i'm always happy to listen to something new #and my ask box is always open #i'm getting more and more specific because i think every au needs its own song #so yeah #there are a bunch of songs that work for specific AUs #but i'm sure out there a writer is waiting for that specific song to get out of a writer's block while writing their fic #and i wanna help them finish their fics!#also my brain sees obikin everywhere so of course i have to make you part of this disease of mine #i'll probably post part 3 next week because I have more songs to add to this playlist #finger crossed that my migraine decides to chill for a while so i can write the next post #Spotify

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chaoticspacefam · 3 years

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OC Music Meme

I was tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad , thank you! :D I shall tag (no pressure as always, only if you want to!): @mercurypilgrim , @mimabeann, @rainofaugustsith , @thelastenvoyyy , @a-master-procrastinator and anyone else who wants to do this one, yes, I promise I mean you!

Yaaay another music meme, I LOVE these, as any of my long-term followers/mutuals probably know :P Oh no, Raven what have you done! 🤣🤣

List one or more songs that relate to the following

*drags Rai and her three consecutive playlists full of songs in here and plops her down proudly* Now I’m not joking when I say combined her three playlists would run for ~10 hrs if I played them all back-to-back. Sooooo for that reason I will be trying to restrict myself to 3-4 songs per “question”, except for the last one which is annotated with an explanation there, ANYWAYS!

reminds you of them most:

Down To The Bottom - Dorothy :: This is a very new one to her playlist (discovered a few days ago), but it still vibes so well with Saarai’s attitude to love, and her need to have some sort of emotional closeness to other people, to love and be loved, or else she just doesn’t function quite right

Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats :: This was one of Rai’s first EVER theme songs that made it onto her list as I gave the Ahaszaai the backstory that led to them becoming main characters, so it feels only right that I include it here. To me it perfectly sums up her character progression, from a frightened young woman with a lot of skeletons in her closet and no willingness to be a commander of anything or confidence that she could, to a strong and dedicated leader willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people she works with, and make sure that the person who once took it from her family will suffer the righteous justice he deserves for his actions. Oddly enough, Saarai never goes back to take over the Sith Empire as D’leah planned (in Subterfugeverse anyways), they do eventually “come home” and build something of their own with the other members of the Alliance <3

Bruno Is Orange - Hop Along :: This song is very important too. It makes me feel a lot of things and as I developed more of Saarai’s backstory and began tying everything together, it became an essential part of her backstory. This is 100% a “Saarai Song” in my brain (and I’ve had the script for that meme planned out for over a year, I’ll get to it soon :3), summing up the chaos and her own feelings on what happened with Tsâhis (and her mother and sister’s reactions to finding out about what happened, and Ty, the baby which resulted from that clusterfuck of a relationship)

Someone New - Hozier :: Kinda supplements “Down To The Bottom”, Saarai was a character who puzzled me sexuality-wise for a long time, she has a lot to unpack and a lot of nuances in her attractions, and for a long time (because it is the default for modern media) I tried to shove her in the monogamy box, except...that doesn’t work for Saarai LMAO. I remembered this song existed one day (I think it came up on Youtube shuffle or something) and it was the lightbulb that went on in my head that finally clicked and told me she was actually polyam as well (though ironically I forgot to actually put it in her playlist until @darth-bagel reminded me it existed again a few months ago LOL).

reminds another character of them:

All The Pretty Girls - KALEO :: (Sash - Zephyrverse AU) This one had a few options too, but I think this is the best song that Sash would associate with Saarai. Their relationship was slow burn, although there was near-immediate attraction there, Sash struggled with self-doubt and her own insecurities for a long time, firmly believing that Saarai would get bored of waiting for her to be “ready” to take things further and explore other options (she didn’t. They’ve been married something like 20+, nearing 30 years now, you’re stuck with her sweetie <3)

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy :: (Lana - Subterfugeverse) “I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do.” Lana wasn’t looking for Saarai when she found her, but Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Though Lana is a big pillar of support for Saarai, and Saarai in turn is the social “glue” that holds the Alliance together, what many people don’t realise is that the feeling is mutual and Lana relies upon her just as much. Saarai’s dependable, and trustworthy, even if sometimes she makes Lana want to roll her eyes into the ceiling because of her antics, she wouldn’t want to change her for anything, it’s that part of Saarai that she secretly loves the most because it reminds Lana that it’s okay to unwind and have fun or be silly every once in a while, especially with the people you love.

Shut Up And Dance - WALK THE MOON :: (Koth - Subterfugeverse) Koth’s relationship with Saarai took a lot longer to develop into something openly romantic because Saarai had a lot of stuff to work through before she could accept her own feelings for him, but the cantina party at the end of KOTFE was the moment that Koth realised she was comfortable with him, because it’s the first time she really opened up to him, the first time she asked him to do anything together, and the first time she didn’t flinch or jump away from him when he touched her.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly etc.: I’m taking that as an invitiation to do a song for each of the main ones of any kind and that means this one has like six songs because...Saarai has a lot of influencial relationships in her character arc, I’m sorry (but not really) :’)

Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons :: Saarai & D’leah (Familial, It’s Complicated). This one is probably gonna be the “controversial” song of this post but you know what I’m gonna do it anyway. Saarai and D’leah have a very complicated relationship, because on the one hand Saarai does love her mother very much in spite of the horrible things she said and did, and on the other...the last thing that she wants is to turn out like her. And sometimes, sometimes you gotta call your mom out on her toxic shit. Hey Brother - Aviici :: Saarai & Ni’kasi (Familial Love). “What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you...there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.” The “brother” part does not apply to the twins, gender-wise, but the essence of this song is undoubtedly Saarai & Ni’kasi’s relationship. When Saarai thought she had no-one else, Ni’kasi was there to pick up the pieces and get her back onto her feet. They’re ride or die till the very end, wherever Saarai leads, she knows Ni’kasi will follow her.

Son of A Gun - Lord Huron :: Saarai & Tsâhis (Romantic ”Love”, though I’mma be very clear here that he was a manipulative abusive asshole, but Saarai loved him so...quotation marks. Y’get it yeah? Good.) “Well she fell in love with that son of a gun, but he was not the man that she took him for.” This line in particular sums it up. Saarai was young, naive and a perfect target for someone like Tsâhis to take advantage of because she didn’t know any better and believed him when he said he “loved her”, only for him to pull the rug out from under her feet later on. (he got his tho, don’t worry 😈)

Youth - Glass Animals :: Saarai & Tyûk (Maternal Love). This is the closest I can find to a song that sums up their relationship, I have a lot of thoughts about it but there are very few songs (that I’ve found) that touch upon the essence of Saarai & Ty’s relationship. D’leah chose to blame Ty for his father’s actions, Saarai chose the opposite. She chose to love him in spite of what his father had done to her, and to make sure he grew up feeling safe, loved, and learnt to be better than that.

Curses - The Crane Wives :: Saarai/Sash (Romantic Love) Both Saarai and Sash have had difficult pasts, with a lot of emotional trauma, and they both had hurdles they had to overcome in order for their relationship to truly work and stay healthy. But with each others’ support, they’ve managed it and are all the closer for it. If you asked either of them where “home” was, they’d say the other’s name.

Sorry I Stole Your Girlfriend - Stereo Skyline :: Saarai/Lana/Koth (Romantic Love). Okay, I really really wanted to pick a more serious song from their playlist for them, BUT....this song is the song that started this ship in my brain so here we are. LMAO Originally, this popped into my brain as an idea of Saarai’s response to Koth’s attempt at getting between them in that scene of KOTFE on the Gravestone. Koth and Saarai’s moral compasses are very similar and I wanted them to sit down and have a proper, healthy discussion about their feelings instead of becoming enemies and sort of agreeing not to hold a grudge against each other, though I didn’t expect for that piece to get away from me and for Saarai to end up developing feelings for Koth too, I can’t say I’m unhappy with it. I love them and I will fight anyone who tells me I can’t make them an OT3, I can, I will, and I have. >:) (Healthy Polyam Good, Love Triangles Are Fucking Stupid (tm). No I am not taking criticism on this lmao) Though Saarai & Koth’s relationship isn’t sexual in any way, they love each other just as much as they love Lana, just express it differently. So even though the snideness of this song doesn’t really apply to them, I kept it in their playlist and it also became their ship name because it was too good to pass up, though “Stole” is in inverted commas as it’s definitely more of an inside joke between the three of them than actually seriously accusing them of stealing each others’ girlfriend. 🤣 (as always, Saarai & Koth thinks it’s hilarious, Lana rolls her eyes at the stupid pun but also secretly thinks it’s funny as hell)

#swtor #star wars: the old republic #swtor OCs #tagged meme #OC music meme #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #the outlander #LS! eternal empress #subterfugeverse #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana/koth #saarai x tsâhis #zephyrverse au #saarai/sash #the ahaszaai twins #the sith twins #yes i have written down a lot of stuff regarding the ot3's relationship and how it developed etc #one day i will throw them out into the world when i feel like they're ready #but they're not ready yet so sorry y'all you gotta wait #but trust me when i say this is very elaborately planned out #LMAO #[banging pots and pans] they're. poly. and. in. love. fucking. deal. with. it. or. leave #my ships my rules #complicated mother daughter relationships are complicated #projection? i don't know her #no sir #tw: manipulation #tw: abusive relationship

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rolandleoline · 4 years

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Tagged by the lovely @khahahahahahah

Love that the quarantine has brought these games back

Rules: Answer all the questions and tag 21people you would like to get to know better!

Nickname? Chris. I don't think I've ever had any fun ones

Real name? Christine. For some reason my parents let my grandmother choose.

Zodiac? Pisces, but barely

Favourite musicians or groups? Wow ummm okay love a bit of everything but definitely Lord Huron, death cab, vampire weekend that kinda thing. Also Ludovico einaudi when I'm reading or studying.

And musicals! Lots of musicals.

Favourite sports teams? detroit fan mostly, even though we always lose. Other than that I don't watch much team sports, but gymnastics and skating for sure

Other blogs? no, which is probably why this one is such a mishmash of content

Do I get asks? not really, but my friend used to send them to me when we were bored at work together

How many blogs do I follow? don't laugh but I actually don't know how to check, definitely a bazillion though

Tumblr crushes? is this like people I know on here? Cause I'm always a little in love with all my friends tbh

Lucky numbers? I used to pick 13 for my soccer jersey to be edgy, I don't know how lucky it was though

What am I wearing? jammies! Definitely not my ex gf's sweater that I should have returned but it's so damn comfy

Dream vacation? I change my mind on this so often. Maybe japan for cherry blossoms. (How original). Ohhh no definitely the space station!

Dream car? Jurassic park jeep

Favourite food? I loooove seafood, but also just food in general. Pf changs lettuce wraps!

Drink of choice? Coffee and tea

Instruments? I wish! Complained my way out of piano lessons when I was a kid, which I totally regret now. Trying to take the quarantine to learn again

Languages? English, french, some pathetic spanish comes and goes when I'm in mexico

Celebrity crushes? I don't think we have that kind of time! For actors I usually end up loving them as whatever character they're playing, so like idris elba but as luther, or brie larson as cpt marvel or sandra oh as eve

Random facts? I have a cat called sora, after the digimon character (technically she's my brother's cat but she's here now)

Tagging some mutuals cause I don't know anyone but you all seem rad! (I couldn't come up with 21 sorry) @strategist-scientia @louciferish @some-gold-can-stay @smileorgotojailstilinksi @the-sebastian-monroe @addicted2fic @bluejeansandaponytail @serindiyoza

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tinkasbell · 5 years

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TASK 005 -- WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR !

2017: easily the worst year tinka has lived through, and she spent fifteen years in foster care. her life was completely pulled out from under her and she was stuck trying to figure things out for herself. peter was acting more off than usual which led to his eventual disappearance from carthay. her options were to stick with the darlings and the lost boys or be on her own. she would’ve chosen the lost boys if they weren’t falling apart at the seams. she didn’t realize just how hard life would be without peter pan there to lead them all. besides, she was too overwhelmed to properly help the group in any way.

2018: the year of growth. tinka has never been one for resolutions, but she really was hoping for a new year, new me transformation. she wanted to be the bright girl she once was. she wanted to be less dependent on peter. she wanted to make a name for herself. no one else attached. she rekindled with iriana, rose, vidia, fawn, silver, and terence in the new year. with this came personal growth. she remembered how to have fun, how to act around girls ( ones she liked, no less ), and how important close friends are. becoming the new tinka bell would have been impossible without their support the whole way. with their help, tinka is learning how to deal with and work through her emotions, how to move on from someone who isn’t coming back, and how to comfort someone else who may be in need.

2019: tinka hopes this will be the year people recognize her as an individual instead of one of peter’s followers. she’s working towards making new relationships with people and hoping to be kinder. she also wants to fully understand her emotions and work on her jealousy, which is much easier said than done-- especially when there’s not currently anything for her to be jealous of. she’s contemplating fixing her relationship with wendy darling, but deep down some part of her still blames wendy for this whole mess. that’s something she needs to work on, but she’s not currently acknowledging it at the moment.

PLAYLIST UNDER THE CUT !

I. YOU SHOULD BE HERE -- KEHLANI.

I'm looking right at you, but you're not there / I'm seeing right past you, but you seem well aware / Your body is here but your mind is somewhere else / So far gone and you think I can't tell -- nobody knows peter pan quite like tinka bell does. she always knew he was itching to leave carthay, and something was seeming off about him. he was never a fully present kind of guy, but he was feeling especially distant. tinka would always offer a penny for his thoughts, but he’d tell her it was nothing. that he was just thinking of his next great prank. tinka is not stupid, but she doesn’t feel it’s too important to push the issue.

II. SOMEBODY ELSE -- THE 1975.

You're intertwining your soul with somebody else / I'm looking through you / While you're looking through your phone / And then leaving with somebody else -- it’s no secret that tensions are high when wendy is around the group. tinka absolutely despises the other girl and just how close she’s getting with peter, and she can tell peter is getting closer to her as well. tinka has argued with peter time and time again over his closeness with wendy but all he does is laugh at how angry she gets. nothing changes and she’s stuck watching him connect and get closer with someone else.

III. TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME -- THE 1975.

I only called her one time / Maybe it was two times? / I don't think it was three times / It can't be more than four times / I think we need to rewind / You text that boy sometimes / Must be more than three times -- after each argument, peter reassures tinka that she will always be his best friend and that he has no plan on replacing her. every time the wendy argument comes up, he uses terence as his defence. if he can be your friend, why can’t she be mine? tinka doesn’t quite think it’s the same thing, but peter swears it is. he calls her hypocritical until she puts the issue to rest.

IV. THE NIGHT WE MET -- LORD HURON.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do / Haunted by the ghost of you / Oh, take me back to the night we met -- peter pan has left town and told tinka not to come with him. she misses when things weren’t so complicated. when they were just kids. when they first met and had their whole lives ahead of them. now, everything is tainted by memories the two of them shared. not only hangman’s tree, but the lost boys and all their adventures around town. sometimes it feels like there’s nothing that won’t remind her of peter.

V. I HAVE QUESTIONS -- CAMILA CABELLO.

I gave you all of me / My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears / Why don't you care, why don't you care? / I was there, I was there, when no one was / Now you're gone, and I'm here -- tinka gave her all to be peter’s best friend. she ditched her original friend group and made his life her life. her whole identity was not tinka bell but instead peter pan’s sidekick. she always stuck by his side and defended him when it came down to it. but now, he’s gone and her identity has left with him.

VI. MALIBU NIGHTS -- LANY.

I drink myself to sleep, who cares? / No one even has to know / I'm dealing with it on my own -- now that peter is gone, tinka feels she has no one. if the one person she trusted most in the world can just leave so easily, who's to say anyone else won’t leave just as easily? besides, tinka has never been filled with so many emotions. she doesn’t know how to handle them, and she doesn’t want to look weak. she had been dubbed peter’s stubborn and hardheaded sidekick her whole life. what would people say if they could see her now?

I feel my body giving up / Can I hold on for another night? / What do I do with all this time? -- tinka had never questioned her identity until she was left on her own. life no longer felt like something to put effort into because look where it got her. all that she had ever done and worked for was suddenly gone and she was left to deal with the emptiness. her days were spent with peter and the lost boys but the lost boys were falling apart quickly. tinka had previously agreed to be slightly’s sidekick if peter ever left, but none of them ever expected him to do so. with no group to go back to, her schedule is suddenly wide open and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

VII. NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Right now, I'm in a state of mind / I wanna be in like all the time / Ain't got no tears left to cry -- months have gone by and absolutely no word from peter. tinka is starting to accept the fact that he may be gone for good, and she’s tired of moping around. she was a functional person before she met him and she will continue to be a functioning member of society now that he’s gone. she’s tired of throwing herself a pity party and ready to rise from the ashes.

VIII. MOST GIRLS -- HAILEE STEINFELD.

Most girls are smart and strong and beautiful / Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable / Most girls, are fighting back everyday, no two are the same / I wanna be like, I wanna be like most girls -- becoming the old tinka would have been absolutely impossible without her girl gang by her side. she knew she blew them off but they happily welcome her back with open arms. they’re a gang full of large personalities and she’s absolutely grateful for each and every one of them. the group wouldn’t work as well as it does without any member, and she recognizes that. they each bring something special to the table and she hopes she can be half as amazing as she finds them all to be. there’s no better group to get her back on her feet than the squad that was there before peter ever was.

IX. HOMEMADE DYNAMITE -- LORDE, KHALID, SZA, & POST MALONE.

We're way too far from home / Let's be honest with ourselves / We're way too high to drive / So let's take on the night / If the light is in the air / Open, finally, we're goin' and we're free -- there’s nothing more likely to get tinka back on track than fun nights with the girls and terence. tinka has always been a fan of mindless car rides where they all add songs to a playlist and just drive around, updating each other on their lives. hearing what is going on in everyone else’s lives distracts her from what is going on in her own. plus, it’s rare the gang is all in one place at one time.

X. THE LIFE -- FIFTH HARMONY.

Give it up for the kids, eating good, getting lit / Living life, feeling rich, this is the life / We the best in the biz, breaking off, betting chips / Living life, feeling rich -- the initial shock has disappeared. peter is gone, but she doesn’t care. she’s got her day one squad by her side and they’re stronger than ever. she no longer feels like she’s missing peter and that’s okay. she’s got a good group around her and together they are even more unstoppable than peter and the lost boys ever were.

XI. NEW RULES -- DUA LIPA.

My love, he makes me feel like nobody else, nobody else / But my love, he doesn't love me, so I tell myself, I tell myself -- however, getting over someone is never as easy as it seems. tinka goes through phases where she wonders where peter is. is he doing alright? is he safe? is he alive? he was her best friend, she can’t help but worry. he gave her some of the greatest memories of her life. but he told her not to come with him, and that’s what brings her back to reality.

XII. THANK U, NEXT -- ARIANA GRANDE.

Look what you taught me / And for that, I say / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / Thank you, next / I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex -- as much as tinka wishes she could hate peter for all the pain he caused her, it’s absolutely impossible for her to mutter those words. he made the majority of her life incredible and gave her experiences she would never have had on her own. instead of being angry that he’s gone, she’s come to accept that her time with peter, while temporary, was a blessing.

Spend more time with my friends / I ain't worried 'bout nothin' / Plus, I met someone else / We havin' better discussions / I know they say I move on too fast / But this one gon' last / 'Cause her name is Ari Tinka / And I'm so good with that -- tinka is finally beginning to find herself outside of peter pan and even outside of her girl squad. belonging to groups has always pushed tinka into roles, but reconnecting with the girls and terence reminds her of her likes and dislikes and emphasizes the possibility to clash with certain personalities but still get along with them. while she’s still not one hundred percent there, she’s working on being more in touch with her emotions ( which she’s never been very good at ).

#carthaytask #ok this got really long and yeah the playlist is actually 2017-2018 what about it!!!!#i had the muse and inspo an i ran with it ok :/#also the timeline doesnt add up w when some of things songs came out ( tootime ntltc and malibu nights LOL ) but i wont tell if u wont!#if u read this whole task thank u i rly put in the work!#DFKJGHFDKJHGFDKHJGD #also the playlist under the cut is a link to the actual playlist so like do w that what u will ig. KJDFHGKDFJHGDFKHJGDFKJH

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irhinoceri · 4 years

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An Annotated List of Mine Own Fic - Star Wars Edition

All stat counts accurate as of 9/24/2020.

Out of the Dark Valley - Words: 324,621 Chapters: 53/53 Comments: 932 Kudos: 1599 Bookmarks: 384 Hits: 53562

The big one. The first time I seriously wrote fanfic and I was operating under the “go big or go home” mindset. A 300k time-travel/Padme lives!/Vader redemption fic that has some awkward plot contrivances and drags in the middle, but, you know, people seem to like it overall. Perhaps my greatest contribution to fanfic as a whole is creating the tag “Time Travel-Fuck-It-Up Again” because I now see other people using it (always must be in conjunction with the “Time Travel Fix-It” tag).

Love Like Ghosts - Words: 11,287 Chapters: 6/6 Comments: 50 Kudos: 360 Bookmarks: 79 Hits: 6064

Essentially Lord Huron songfic (won’t be the last). It’s my second most popular fic, which I wrote kind of on a whim, kind of to take a break from working on OODV at the time. I had read some Vaderdala fic and wanted to try my hand at it. Mixed results, imo, as I also struggled with the problem I see in most Vaderdala fics—keeping Padme at all true to her canon characterization while still having a relationship with Vader. They are bitter and resentful of each other for the bulk of the fic which is my specialty. I did enjoy exploring a darker take on Padme and what it would mean if she took Anakin up on his offer and tried to take Palpatine down from within, so yeah I’m still pleased with this one.

Artoo Knows - Words: 1,758 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 15 Kudos: 128 Bookmarks: 33 Hits: 979

An angsty story based on a song that is the musical equivalent of a shitpost. My ex once said, “I can’t believe you made me sad about R2-D2″ after I sent him the link. He’d been lamenting that I wasn’t writing original fiction anymore and was wasting my talents. Ah well.

it’s a bad wind that don’t blow somebody some good - Words: 6,341 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 22 Kudos: 166 Bookmarks: 33 Hits: 2513

My Barrissoka fic. I was getting really into the whole “canon can’t fuck a good character up so bad that fandom can’t figure out how to course-correct” school of shipping problematic dynamics and getting real deep into Barriss-Was-Right-If-Not-Totally-Justified-For-How-She-Went-About-It feels. It really does cement that I love post-bad-breakup-reconciliation as a trope. Also used a very obscure song by an obscure band as inspiration for the title and mood of the piece, which made me feel very cool and sophisticated, at the time. I saw The Secret Machines live in concert in 2005 and it’s still one of the most transcendent concert experiences I’ve ever had.... RIP Benjamin Curtis.

Padawan Exchange - Words: 9,132 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 9 Kudos: 58 Bookmarks: 12 Hits: 907

A friendship fic for Anakin and Barriss, formed as an idea for what they were up to while Luminara and Ahsoka were teamed up in that one episode of The Clone Wars. Initially thought of as a crackfic, it becomes kind of serious because I couldn’t resist planting those seeds of doubt about the nobility of the Jedi Order in Barriss’ mind. Has less than 1k hits on Ao3 but gosh darn it, I think it’s one of my better ideas for a fic to this day.

Through Neighborly Eyes - Words: 1,280 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 4 Kudos: 59 Bookmarks: 5 Hits: 889

This was supposed to be the first of several side fics set in the universe of OODV, but alas it is still the only one. A glimpse at Barrissoka raising Mara Jade after she’s rescued from Palpatine’s evil clutches as a child... since those characters disappear from OODV only to appear five years later and I wanted to put them front and center to explore the dynamic. Honestly, the fact that I never did follow up is one of my most shameful failures as a fic writer.

I just want to start a flame in your heart - Words: 3,763 Chapters: 1/1 Collections: 1 Comments: 15 Kudos: 27 Bookmarks: 3 Hits: 352

THE BEST FIC I’VE EVER WRITTEN. The TFA/Fallout Finnrey crossover songfic that I posted, thinking, “I’ve peaked and nothing will ever be better than this.” 352 hits. That’s how life is, sometimes.

The Third Most Iconic Duo: A Star Wars Musical - Words: 11,735 Chapters: 1/1 Comments: 22 Kudos: 38 Bookmarks: 7 Hits: 572

Kinda weird modern AU where Finn and Rey (and others) exist in a world where Star Wars also exists as a fictional property, and they are playing the characters of Han and Leia in a musical. This fic causes me pain because it written in the halcyon days before TLJ when I was sure Finnrey was canon and Rey Skywalker was the only logical answer to The Parentage Mystery. Hence this fic has definite ReySky elements, but, to be fair it’s not the focus of the story. Rey’s dad in the fic is unnamed though I of course envision Mark Hamill in the role. Honestly the fact that this has more hits than my other Finnrey fic pains me because it’s not as good.

#my fic #writing #star wars

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astudyinfreewill · 7 years

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i was tagged by the lovely @jacklighting, thank you friend! <3 it’s been a while since i did one of these but i figure i’ve got a few new faces around here so it can’t hurt c:

Rules: Answer 30 questions then tag blogs you would like to know better.

1. Nicknames: my name doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames but... allie (kind of... it never really took off??), stars 2. Gender: female 3. Star sign: aquarius 4. Height: 5'9″ 5. Time right now: 11.20 am 6. Birthday: january 26th 7. Favourite bands: oh man these change around A Lot. evergreen classic is the beatles, i’ve always really enjoyed placebo, the national, mumford&sons, and my latest fave is lord huron 8. Favourite solo artists: what for real??? i can’t answer this???? i’ll just go ahead and say the last 3 albums i checked out on spotify were halsey’s, lorde’s and lana del rey’s 9. Song stuck in my head: this morning it alternates between lorde’s “green light” and a really bad italian summer song 10. Last movie watched: wonder woman ✨✨✨ 11. Last show watched: merlin (one of multiple rewatches lol <3) 12. When did I create my blog: september 2010, but i’ve gone through a few urls since then 13.What do I post: i don’t post very often lately, but usually it’s a mix of the raven cycle, merlin, harry potter, lord of the rings, mythology, art, aesthetic posts, and whatever catches my interest at the moment really 14. Last thing googled: "new xkit retags” because i was having problems with the extension claiming it was installed twice (actually hit me up if you have a fix for that bug lol) 15. Do you have other blogs: um, i made a few sideblogs back in the day (mostly fandom-related) but none of them get any use really. i also have blogs i keep around to save urls/test themes on 16. Do you get asks: veeeeeery occasionally but they’re usually really lovely 17. Why did u choose your url: adam parrish, bruh 18. Following: fewer people than i would like, but i already have a hard time keeping up with my dash as it is :/ 19. Followers: ugh. i really don’t think it should matter, bc i dislike how social media seems to provide people with more reasons to feel bad about themselves?? somewhere above 1k and under 2k, which i am led to believe is not much in tumblr terms but you know what, i don’t even understand how there are so many people interested in what i post so like. i appreciate every single one of them okay you guys rock <3 20. Favourite colours: light blue, turquoise, violet, and most pastels tbh 21. Average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7 but in really fucked up patterns, hence why i always have dark eye circles like a raccoon 22. Lucky number: don’t have one (that i know of?) 23. Instruments: i used to play piano, but i’m horrendously out of practice (don’t have one in scotland) and i’ve never been any good at musical improv :( 24. What am I wearing: floral pattern top, black shorts, and a good helping of existential dread 25. How many blankets I sleep with: it’s either a duvet in the winter or plain sheets in the summer (in italy not scotland lol) 26. Dream job: writer, even though it’s a pipe dream because i don’t think i’m original enough when it comes to plots :/ honestly if i could do anything related to literature/art/ancient stuff i’d be happy though 27. Dream trip: honestly, just road tripping across the usa without a fixed plan, stopping at random motels and going where the mood takes me (though visiting new zealand would also be really nice) 28. Favourite food: oh man. so many. all of them. if i had to choose, i’d have to say pasta (gotta stay on that italian brand) though i could gorge myself on sushi any day tbh. chicken nuggets are also A++ 29. Nationality: italian and american 30. Favourite song now: either “love” by lana del rey, “the night we met” by lord huron, or “faded” by alan walker (it’s not new but hey, i blame merlin fanvids)

tagging: you. yes, you. you who are reading this right now. i am not kidding. go do this (only if you want to, but if you do please tag me in it!!!!). really, i am terrible at keeping up with my blog especially when i have no wifi for weeks but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to get to know you lovely little sunflowers <3

#about me #30 questions #question game #ambrablog

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therearemonstersinthedark · 5 years

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Book 2: Luciferous

Chapter 14: Frozen Pines

A Guardians of the Galaxy Fanwork

Pairings: Peter Quill / Gamora (one-sided), Peter Quill & Nebula (freindship)

Genre: Adventure, general

Word Count: 5k

Rating: T to be safe, mild gore and cussing in some chapters

Links: Fanfiction.net || Ao3

Summary: Peter Meets Eternity and learns some important information, and finally trades words with Rocket.

Author’s Notes: Title is from ‘Frozen Pines’ by Lord Huron

Chapter 14: Frozen Pines

Eternity, wearing Nebula's body like a poor imitation -the smile was too bright, the mannerisms too lose- stepped away from the tree he'd been leaning on and it vanished behind him.

"A talk sounds good," Peter said, standing up to face him. "I have some questions."

"I'm sure you do," Eternity said smoothly. "Ask. And with the time we have, I will do my best to answer."

"Your sister, the one helping Thanos-"

"-using Thanos," Eternity corrected him with an easy grin.

"Right. It's Death, right?"

"Yes, that is her mortal designation."

"Okay," Peter breathed. "I'm sure that's good to know, somehow... Next, can you send me back? To my timeline I mean-Can you send me home?"

"No, time is not my designation."

"Worth a shot," Peter let out in a huff. He'd suspected it wouldn't be that easy anyways. "So why do you need me? And, I mean, why now? If this fight of yours has been going on since, well, forever, why wait until Thanos is so powerful?"

Eternity crossed his arms and shrugged them helplessly, the expression looking all kinds of wrong on the assassin. "It wasn't my intention to wait so long. Ego was so caught up in his quest to consume the galaxies that it took far longer than I had hoped to steer him to Earth."

"Why Earth?" Peter couldn't help but ask. He knew he was drawing Eternity away from his own questions, but Eternity had mentioned his impatience to get Ego to Earth twice now. Peter had always assumed it was a fluke that he was able to do what he could, but now he was beginning to suspect otherwise.

"It had to be Earth," Ego confirmed Peter's suspicions. "No other planet carries the Light within its veins like your home world. Did you think it was a coincidence that you alone, of all his children, could carry the Light? And that Cosmo, a mere beast, not only survived consuming from a Celestial, but now thrives under a power that should have consumed him instead? Two brothers from Earth are the only beings in the universe to wield the Light, and you never made the connection?" Ego's brow's raised in a mocking expression that was almost fitting on Nebula's face. "Perhaps, you are not so clever yourself."

Peter scrunched up his face. "There's no Light on Earth, what are you talking about?"

Eternity let out a sigh. "Before Ego, I had an idea that I could fashion a champion myself. I had my remaining Celestials create a body, a perfect being, containing limitless potential to adapt and change, and infused with more Light than had ever before been gifted to a mortal. He was to be my final creation, and in time, my avatar, but he was a failed champion. Too volatile, to wild, and the body simply would not hold up against time and power as I had hoped. Before I could see to its destruction, my sister caught word of what I was planning. She did not know that I had already dismissed the idea, and sent her agents to steal the body from me. I will not waste our time here with all of the details, but the body was lost in the ensuing chaos.

"It wasn't until nearly a millennia later, when the last of the Celestials had been dismissed from existence, that I tracked it down again. It had somehow found its way into one of the least developed patches of the universe. I suspect someone had taken it there for hiding, and their plans had failed, for the vessel it was being transported on was destroyed. It plummeted through the atmosphere and collided with a planet already filled with life. There, it saturated the planet, the bits of his body burned up in the atmosphere and the blood spilled upon his impact were imbued with Light that leaked into the rivers, the land, the very core of the planet Earth. The body did not die upon impact, however. It took time, a great deal of it, but the bits that remained were able to regenerate. I had designed it to be nearly indestructible by mortal means. Time and the impact had done it's damage, though. My first, failed, champion held no memories of his original purpose, and sought to make himself a new life among these feral creatures. He proved to viscous even for them, and was subdued, but his influence had already spread into the populace.

"Humans, Terrans began to appear with unique attributes. The Light that burned within their veins, -barely a drop of water compared to the ocean of power that resides within you even now, but wild and raw- was enough to warp them. My original champion bore DNA from all things that ever were, and bits of this would burst to life at random within his progenies. No other species had ever boasted the sheer variation of powers that cropped up within them. Most developed traits that were simple enough- strange limbs, odd quirks of larger powers belonging to distant alien civilizations, while others might be granted powers that should have been withheld from only the most elite of mortal beings. In others, still, the power lay dormant, but could be drawn forth through moments of extreme distress. Your mother was one of these, possessed of no obvious gift, but blessed with potential. Earth has always been a place of cataclysmic change. Powerful forces from across the galaxies flock to it despite its humble appearance. The Light draws them in- often without their knowledge- something instinctual and beyond their understanding.

So you see, Peter, it had to be Earth. It had to be a human. No other creature could interact with the Light the way they could. All of his other children failed when the Light found no purchase within them and fizzled out long before they were born. Even the ones who came from lines once blessed by the Light were too specialized, and could not handle the sheer power needed for his purpose, and when he tried to force the connection the power consumed them. Burned them up from within."

"And they died..." Peter breathed, his head reeling from all he had learned. His mother had possessed the Light?

"All but you, Peter," Eternity was continuing as Peter's head span. "You were born to the Light. You were born for this. For me."

Peter's head snapped up.

"What do you even think I can do here?" he demanded, unsettled as ever by the hunger that seemed to be always present in Eternities eyes. "I'm not strong enough to take on Thanos right now. I couldn't even take on Ronan. He thrashed me, in case you forgot about the whole me almost dying thing, because I haven't." He held up his still healing hands for proof.

"That's why you need me," Eternity soothed, stepping closer again. "To help you. To offer guidance and lend you power. You are capable of so much more than you ever dreamed. You're right, you're not strong enough to defeat him on your own right now, but with my help, you can be. My sister wants to shift the balance of power in the universe by removing uncountable souls from existence, I merely want to prevent that tragedy. Would you truly refuse to help me for fear of losing your own life? You have my word that I will do everything within my considerable abilities to preserve it. I have no intention of sacrificing you to my cause, Peter." Eternity was standing right in front of Peter now, staring up at him with dizzying stars swirling in his eyes. Peter felt like he could fall into them and be lost in their terrifying depths forever.

"What about my friends? Would you sacrifice them?"

Eternity hesitated for a moment. "I would prefer no one die beyond the natural order, and with the powers I lend you, wouldn't you be all the more able to protect them? Isn't that why you're here on Ego's planet to begin with? I would only help you further that goal."

"I-I don't know-"

"You do not have to answer this moment," Eternity cut off Peter's stuttering reply. "We have some time, but only some, so I will give you that time to think. Now, you are growing weak. Is there anything else you would ask before you return?"

An idea struck him suddenly. "Gamora's parents! You know all the souls in the Universe right? So you must know where they are."

Eternity pursed his lips and tilted his head. "Not necessarily. I do not keep tabs on every living soul any more than you know each individual cell which makes up your body. I would not know where in the cosmos they are."

"Could you find them, though? At this rate-"

"I will look into the matter if you wish, but you may find them long before I do. It is time to sever the connection so you may return to your world before you exhaust yourself too far. You may call on me again when you are rested and ready. Until then, think on what I've said." Eternity raised his hand and placed one slender blue finger against Peter's forehead, much as Ego had that morning, and he was swept away.

-x-

Peter awoke with a gasp, his lungs burning for air as if he'd been holding his breath the whole time he was gone.

"Peter?" Nebula's voice, tinged with worry, reached his ears between his heaves.

"Ah'm-" he choked out. "Ah'm okay... I'm alright... Just gotta catch my breath." A few more gasps and he was feeling better. With a cough to clear his throat he straightened back up and found Nebula hovering over him, one hand held out like she had been reaching towards him.

"Your eyes," she said, straightening up, but remaining unusually close.

Peter reached up to pat at his face, suddenly worried he was weeping blood or something equally horrifying, but he felt nothing. "What's wrong with my eyes?" he asked.

"You should... look at your reflection," she said slowly, indicating the nearby pool.

While Peter had been out, the world had grown considerably darker. The sun must be setting up above. Curious, Peter stumbled to the edge of the pool and summoned a ball of energy to his palms to use as a source of light. It came, but it was sluggish and surprisingly difficult to summon, and he was hit with a wave of unprecedented exhaustion.

It took a moment for him to realize that the shadows weren't playing tricks on him, and in his reflection his eyes were flooded with a deep purple, cut through with sparkling stars and colorful blobs of galaxies. He looked like Eternity. The edges of his eyes were traced with the deep black and purple, dark cracks running through his skin like he'd been poisoned. As he probed at the discolored flesh, the effect began to fade, his eyes returning to their normal bright color and the spiderwebs retreating.

"Whoah," Peter couldn't help but say. "Were they like that the whole time?"

Nebula appeared beside him at the pool. "Nearly. They were glowing white at first, similar to how Cosmo's appear at times, but then they started turning into... this." She waved one hand to gesture at his face where the last traces of the darkness were fading away. "Did you find him, then?"

Peter let the ball of Light in his hand flicker out, too tired to keep it going right now. "Yeah. I found him. And I think we should go back to the others to talk."

Nebula glanced up at the rapidly darkening sky. "I know a shortcut back."

The assassin lead him through the forest, cutting a path through the trees that took them to the canyon's edge much faster than it had taken Peter to come out. Peter let out a long sigh as they approached the bottom of the sheer drop.

"Can you get up?" Nebula asked him.

"Yeah, my boots'll get me up." It wouldn't be graceful, but he knew he could make that distance. "Do you want a lift?"

Nebula made a face and inched away as if she thought he might reach out and try to grab her. "No," she said. "I'll meet you up there."

-x-

The others were waiting for them back in the greenhouse dining room. With the sun sunk below the horizon, Peter had expected to have to eat his dinner in the darkness, but apparently Mantis had mentioned the lack of lighting when she'd seen Ego before breakfast that morning and Ego had fashioned some small light sources into the greenhouse. The others had already eaten, but there were a couple of plates left out for Peter and Nebula. While Peter ate, he shared the details of his latest encounter with Eternity.

"Your eyes were filled with galaxies?" Mantis asked with a gasp as his story came to an end, leaning over the table and craning her head as though she was checking to see if there were any stars left inside of them.

"Yeah, it was crazy! I looked like Eternity. It faded pretty quick, though."

"Did you feel strange?" she asked, eyes shining bright with excitement and curiosity.

"Just tired," Peter admitted. "I guess there's some sort of time limit for how long I can talk with him. Or something. It's not that bad, though. I'm already feeling better."

"How long do you think you managed?" Drax asked.

Peter chewed his lip in thought. "I dunno, a few minutes, maybe more, but not that long. I asked him about your parents, too," Peter said, pausing with his food half-way to his mouth to address Gamora. "He didn't know anything. I'm sorry."

Across the table, Gamora gave a dismissive gesture with her hands, but said nothing, and the table fell into a sullen silence for a while after that.

"Has there been any word from Ego?" Nebula asked Mantis once she had finished eating and was gathering her dishes. "Will he be returning to tutoring Peter tomorrow?"

"I do not know," Mantis answered quietly. "He has not been back since the call from the Nova Corps."

Nebula rolled her eyes in obvious disapproval before leaving to clean her dishes.

Again, Peter was caught between relief and a sense of duty. "With or without him, I'll keep working on it tomorrow," he promised the Guardians. "I think I almost have fire down, and it's not like Ego was being all that helpful anyways."

Mantis's dark eyes flickered up at him as though he'd just said something scandalous.

"Speaking of tomorrow, I believe it is time to turn in." Gamora rose from her chair. She was speaking loud enough that she was probably including everyone in her statement, but she was looking pointedly at Mantis. "Get some rest, and make sure you stretch before you sleep or you will be unable to continue tomorrow."

"I will," Mantis promised as she stood as well, folding her hands and giving Gamora soft bow. "Have a good night, everyone."

The remaining Guardian's murmured their goodnights and everyone filtered away as Peter gathered his own dishes and brought them to the small room leading off from the dining room where the dishes were stored. A sink sat in one corner, and Peter set his dished into it. He briefly considered just leaving them to deal with the mess in the morning until Nebula, who had been putting her dishes back where they belonged cleared her throat.

"If you leave them there, Mantis will be stuck with them in the morning."

"Yeah," Peter sighed, grabbing the scrubber and turning on the water. "If Ego can just make this stuff at will, why doesn't he have a system where he just makes new ones every day?"

"Don't be a spoiled brat." Nebula closed the last cupboard with a soft click and Peter felt a heat rise on his cheeks at her admonishment.

"Sorry," he mumbled. She said nothing, which was probably as good as forgiveness right now. Over the sound of running water he could hear her footsteps leading towards the door. "Are you going back out?"

The footsteps stopped. "You're too exhausted to come with me, and I'm not dragging you back if you collapse."

Peter stifled a laugh at the thought. "That's not what I was after, but thanks for you're concern. It's been a few days and I don't think Rocket has been back yet..."

"Out with it."

"I was wondering if you could bring him something?"

"No."

"But-"

"I am not your delivery service. He is perfectly capable of surviving without our help. If you ask Mantis, I'm sure some food has mysteriously gone missing by now."

"I know," Peter huffed, turning off the water and grabbing a towel to dry with. "We've been here for a while now, though, and might need to leave soon. How am I supposed to explain everything and talk some sense into him if I never actually talk to him?"

"If you're that worried about it, stay here tonight, and maybe he'll come through. If he doesn't, I will show you a way through the canyon tomorrow."

-x-

Peter did end up waiting for Rocket. He spent most of the time laying on the table and tossing a cup up to catch to keep himself awake, and wishing he had thought to ask Nebula to get his Walkman and maybe a pillow. She probably would have said no, but he could have at least asked, sometimes she surprised him. When his eyelids grew too heavy and his game of catch wasn't enough to keep them open anymore – leading him to miss a catch and the cup to land smack across the bridge of his nose- he moved to sit on the steps outside instead where the cool night air breathed a new life into his veins, bringing a plate of food with him just in case.

Nothing was happening, and he was considering turning in and getting at least some sleep before the sun rose on a new day when Rocket suddenly made an appearance.

"You're in the way, jackass."

Peter nearly leaped out of his skin. He hadn't even seen Rocket approach. One moment the court was empty, the next Rocket was standing on the steps off to Peter's side, his eyes glowing red against the silver moonlight and deep blue shadows. His team was comprised of three assassins, now that this universe's Rocket could fall into that category, that was nearly half. It was like trying to keep track of a bunch of feral cats in the dark; some times he couldn't find them to save his life, other times he couldn't seem to take a step without tripping over one.

"Rocket?" Peter straightened. "I was waiting for you."

"Yeah, I got that impression. Now move. Your fat ass is blockin' the door."

Peter glanced back at the open doorway behind himself. It was a good few yards back, and there was plenty of room for Rocket to walk past him, but apparently this was too close. "I was actually hoping to talk to you." He grabbed the plate at his side and held it up. "I brought food?"

Rocket's muzzle wrinkled in the beginnings of a sneer. "I'll get my own, Stalker-lord. This is the last time I'll ask so nicely; move, or else."

"Fine," Peter pouted, scooting a few feet to the side and taking a bite of the food himself, out of spite more than anything else.

This didn't seem to impress Rocket very much, who stalked silently past him and vanished into the doorway with a look of warning that made it fairly clear just what level of pain Peter could expect if he was stupid enough to try to follow. There was only one exit, so Peter waited, snacking on his plate of rejected food, until Rocket returned.

"We can't stay here forever you know," Peter said as his yet-unwilling friend stepped back through the doorway. His eyes had reverted to their normal brown when he had entered the room, still bright from the new lighting system Ego had added in. "I need to go after Gamora's parents, and the Nova Corps is going to want us back eventually. It would be a lot easier for everyone if we could maybe... talk, and make plans before that happens?"

"I don't give half a flying Orlani's ass what promises you were dumb enough to make Gams, and I'm not working for you or for the Nova Corps."

"I'm not asking you to do anything except not get yourself and the rest of us killed, Okay?" Peter tried.

Rocket paused at the top of the steps to narrow his eyes and tilt his head. "And what if I tell you where you can shove your hero act, and take my first opportunity of freedom anyways? What are you going to do to stop me."

The food nearly slid off of the plate in his hands as Peter deflated miserably. "Nothing," he murmured, staring at the tips of his boots. "I couldn't stop you if I wanted to, and I won't force you to stay. I'll ask, though, or beg, or bribe. We need you, Rocket, and I just want to help you, what can I possibly do to convince you of that?"

"Well as luck would have it, I do believe you."

Peter's head whipped up, hope blooming in his chest so hard it physically hurt, but the humor in Rocket's eyes was dark and cruel.

"I believe you couldn't stop me even if you wanted to," he said with a wicked curve of his lips.

Peter opened his mouth, but nothing came out. What was he supposed to do here? Rocket stared back at him for a long and terrible silence, like he was waiting for something, probably for Peter to change his mind or lose his temper after all, to tip his hand and prove this was all some sort of act. Peter did nothing, and, eventually, Rocket blinked. When he opened his eyes again they were red, and he was heading down the stairs, away from Peter.

On the last step he paused.

"You're looking in the wrong place, by the way."

It took Peter a moment to process the words. "What?"

"For Gams's parents," Rocket glanced back over his shoulder, his ears pinned back against his skull. "You're looking in the wrong spot, you'll never find them on some outdated prison that's probably been disbanded by now, you need somewhere more recent."

"Do you know where they-?"

"No. Ain't never seen 'em myself. But every time they send her away for her 'visits,' she comes back all loopy like she just had a fresh lobotomy, babbling on about how great her parents are and much she loves them." Rocket made a disgusted face at this. "Last time they sent her somewhere new, somewhere closer to the front lines, and she came back reeking of manure. The smell hung around our whole Flarkin mission. I'm surprised it didn't give us away."

Peter's brows drew together. "How do you know where the Nova Corps is looking?"

"The video is routed through the ship, numbnuts. Guess Ego never thought to change that. I can see everything they send."

"Oh," Peter breathed. "Well, thanks Rocket, but why the sudden-?"

Rocket turned to face Peter fully. "How did you know about the Hadron Enforcer?" he asked, his eyes narrowed accusingly. "That's my weapon, I invented it. I only ever told one person what I named it and I know she ain't never told nobody. Never had the d'asted chance to- so how does someone like you know?"

"You told me. You tried to save me and Gamora with it, and later, you and Drax used it to destroy Ronan's hammer so I could grab the Stone. It was a bit different there. You had to have Drax fire it because it had such a big kickback."

There was a spark of something in his eyes, like a recognition or surprise, but before Peter could place it, Rocket turned away and was leaving. Peter sat back down on the steps and let him go without protest. He was pretty sure this had been some sort of test, and he had somehow managed to pass it.

End

#Gotg #Guardians of the Galaxy #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #Book 2 Chapter 14 #gotg astronautical #Luciferous #Peter Quill #Nebula #Gamora #Drax The Destroyer #Groot #Mantis #Rocket Raccoon #eternity #ego the living planet

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aaronmaurer · 5 years

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Music I Liked in 2018

Every year I reflect on the pop culture I enjoyed and put it in some sort of order.

Are alternative and indie rock viable formats anymore? What do those labels mean in the year 2018? (What did they ever mean, really?) My favorite sonic moments of the year appear to be more out of step with the general populace and critical circles than ever before, and yet, I still go to a lot of concerts and seeing many of these acts live this year in sold-out venues proves that there is still an audience out there for guitar-based music. If that’s your thing (and no worries if it isn’t), give some of these records a shot.

15. Ruins / Tender Offerings EP – First Aid Kit

Sweden’s harmonic folk sister act returned at the beginning of the year with the accomplished Ruins. It may not have hit the heights of their career-best Stay Gold, but it still provides moments of sweeping beauty. However, it’s the 4-song collection of outtakes from the same sessions that cements this album cycle on my list: Tender Offerings is even more immediate and quietly affecting than its parent record.

14. Arthur Buck – Arthur Buck

Personal favorite singer/songwriter Joseph Arthur teamed up with former R.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck this year for a collaboration that hews more towards Arthur’s influence than Buck’s. That’s not a bad thing and this is a recent highlight of Arthur’s prodigious output. If the collaboration continues to foster such energy and inspiration, I hope it extends well into the future.

13. Malibu Nights – LANY

I’m not quite sure how to classify LANY; in my analysis they have as much in common with emo as pop music, and their synth-heavy sound doesn’t readily slot into rock formats. Regardless, I find their music easily approachable and their lyrics to cut with a similar sincerity as the likes of Jimmy Eat World. Malibu Nights is concise and consistent, two things that cannot be said of 2017’s self-titled full-length, and it is all the stronger for it.

12. Black Panther the Album – Various Artists

Black Panther the Movie was one of the highlights of the year (see my film picks coming soon) and its companion soundtrack follows suit. A mixtape curated by and featuring Kendrick Lamar, this album of original material manages to form a cohesive unit as opposed to a collection of random tracks (i.e. last decade’s Spider-Man 3 soundtrack – which I actually liked, on the whole…). Wakanda forever!

11. Love Is Dead – CHVRCHES

The third LP from Scotland’s CHVRCHES was viewed as a letdown by much of the critical community, and as someone who ranked 2015’s Every Open Eye as that year’s favorite album, I would have to agree – to a point. Love Is Dead still has plenty of fantastic arena and festival-ready anthems to its credit and I don’t blame the trio for leaning into their pop side for this one. The album is incredibly front-loaded with “Graffiti,” “Get Out” and the Matt Berninger collab “My Enemy” coming in the first third, but there are strong moments all the way through and it’s definitely one of the most enjoyable listens of the year.

10. Wildness – Snow Patrol

After a 7-year hiatus, Snow Patrol returned with Wildness and I have to admit I was initially disappointed. However, I have found that with repeated listens this record has really grown on me. The emotional transparency of Gary Lightbody’s songwriting remains intact and you can feel his authenticity on songs like “Life On Earth,” “Heal Me” and “A Youth Written In Fire.” Definitely worth spending some time with.

9. [untitled] EP / [Untitled] – mewithoutYou

Philadelphia’s post-rock luminaries made a surprise return this year with some of their best work to date. An EP arrived in August and rather than a preview of October’s full-length release (only a single song is repeated, in a different version), it functions as a compelling work in its own right and finds the band embracing their more meditative and melodic tendencies. By contrast, the LP leans a bit more into the band’s harder edge – but not completely eschewing quieter moments – without sacrificing any of the lyrical depth or deft musicianship they are known for. It feels like a creative renaissance for a group soon to enter their third decade.

8. boygenius EP – boygenius

The only negative to this stellar collaboration between singer/songwriters Julien Baker, Phoebe Bridgers and Lucy Dacus is that it’s only six songs long. The artists are each given space to shine and when the harmonies kick in, it’s transcendent. Here’s hoping it’s not the last we hear from them as a trio.

7. Be More Kind – Frank Turner

A blazingly earnest call-to-arms for hope in the face of the current political and social landscape, Be More Kind is filled with rousing sing-alongs about decency and making a difference. “Don’t Worry,” “Little Changes,” “Brave Face” and the title track are among the most positive and affirming songs I’ve heard in recent memory, but it’s the rousing and reclaiming anthem “Make American Great Again” that marks my favorite moment on this near-perfect record.

6. Come Tomorrow – Dave Matthews Band

Old habits die hard, and even though my enthusiasm has waned since my obsessive high school & college days, I’ll still go to bat for much of Dave Matthews Band’s music. Their first studio album in 6 years is somewhat a catch-all of songs they’ve been playing live for a while but hadn’t recorded, and as such, is a bit overlong and slightly disjointed. Even so, there is a melancholic wistfulness that pervades many of the record’s highlights including “Samurai Cop (Oh Joy Begin),” “Virginia In the Rain” and “Come On Come On,” which rate with their best work.

5. Upside Down Flowers – Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

Andrew McMahon’s latest effort is a very nostalgic look back at not just his early career in Something Corporate (“Teenage Rockstars”) but to his childhood as well (“Ohio,” “House In The Trees”). What could come across as navel-gazing or self-mythologizing instead becomes universal in its specificity and his most impactful work in years.

4. Art of Doubt – Metric

Every few years, Emily Haines and Co. grace us with an album of self-empowerment anthems, some of which make more of a personal impact than others. This year’s Art of Doubt was initially a sleeper that I find I keep returning to, discovering new layers of resonance each time. It now ranks alongside Fantasies and Synthetica in the band’s discography to me.

3. Mirror Master – Young the Giant

On their fourth record, Young the Giant deliver some of their most diverse and hooky tunes yet, including the Eastern-tinged “Superposition,” the introspectively moody “Glory” and the soaring anthem “Simplify.” While I’ve counted myself a fan of their previous work, this one coheres in a new way for me that is immensely rewarding.

2. Vide Noir – Lord Huron

Lord Huron have yet to make a misstep and their third full-length proves their most sonically wide-ranging yet. From the driving energy of “Ancient Names, Pt. I,” to the old-timey crooning of “Wait by the River” to the blown-out guitar of “The Balancer’s Eye,” a range of styles are employed. Even with these varied modes, everything hangs together to create an atmospheric quest into darkness for meaning beyond this plane.

1. Layers of Us – Mimicking Birds

There is a spacious ambience to the latest from Portland’s Mimicking Birds, on which acoustic guitars are traded for splashes of mood-setting synthesizers and lyrics pondering humanity’s place in the cosmos and impact on the planet. Despite the dread and existentialism that permeates some tracks, I find a lot of beauty and hope shimmering through the record. It is by far the album I listened to the most in 2018 and perfect for the winter months (during the Winter Olympics I found myself daydreaming alternate realities where the gorgeous and haunting “Belongings” could soundtrack a gold medal figure skating performance).

Here’s a sampling of songs from each of these records if you want an easily-digestible mix:

Bonus! An additional mix of other singles, b-sides, covers and more from 2018 that I really like:

Double Bonus! 7 Best Live Performances I Saw in 2018:

7. U2 – Experience + Innocence Tour at the United Center, May 22nd

The companion to 2015’s Innocence + Experience Tour shared a stage and some common songs, but for the most part was a unique experience that stood on its own. Still telling a loose story of the band’s history through the lens of their Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience albums, this arena tour centered around the newer material of the latter, which – being one of my favorite albums of 2017 – I was quite happy with. Closing the show with the same excellent two-song final sequence as that album, and a beautiful visual element that formed a bookend with the I+E Tour, was an inspired and moving choice.

6. Lord Huron – Pandora Presents The Stack at Concord Music Hall, September 20th

I was lucky to see Lord Huron twice this year during the Vide Noir tour cycle, and the second time was even better because A) it was a free event (put on by Pandora) that included free Sam Adams!, B) it was in a small venue and C) they reached all the way back to their first EP to end the night with “We Went Wild.” It took me right back to the night I was introduced to them at an intimate Lollapalooza pre-show at the Double Door in 2011, where this then-unknown band captivated me with their atmospheric percussion and guitar rhythms. They’ve yet to let go.

5. The National – Lollapalooza Aftershow at Metro, August 2nd

The National are at a point in their career where they headline festivals and play large theatres, so it’s rare to see them at a 1000-capacity venue like Chicago’s Metro anymore. Fortunately, the concert hall often hosts huge bands on Lollapalooza weekend for late night “aftershows” (which are always nearly impossible to get into) and I somehow scored tickets to the National’s performance there the night before they headlined the fest. It was great to see the band tear through a setlist spanning their whole career that was significantly different from what they did the following evening. The finale of an acoustic “Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks” – at around 2am – was a beautiful communal moment.

4. Beck – Riot Fest, September 15th

I’ve seen Beck a few times over the years and I think his current setlist might be his best ever, a great mix of all his musical permutations (though missing any songs from Mutations…). Latest record Colors was one of my favorites of 2017 and that material was fantastic live alongside classics like “New Pollution,” “Loser” and “Girl.” The stage and lighting design were a lot of fun as well and provided a visually engaging and exciting backdrop. While the festival setting meant a truncated show, I won’t hesitate to catch him again whenever he returns to town.

3. Mew – Frengers 15th Anniversary Tour at Brooklyn Steel, October 14th

Mew are a Danish indie/prog rock/dream pop band that have a number of great albums to their credit. One of my favorites is Frengers, which I didn’t actually discover until a few years after it was released in 2003. Imagine my good fortune to discover one of the few US dates on its anniversary tour happened to coincide with my trip to New York this fall. Hearing the record performed in its entirety, from the opening guitar+drum salvo of “Am I Wry? No” to the final soaring cacophony of “Comforting Sounds” was a moment out of time in the best possible way.

2. boygenius – Thalia Hall, November 13th

A truly transcendent night of music that began with each of the collaborators – Lucy Dacus, Phoebe Bridgers and Julien Baker – playing her own masterful set, then all coming together for a finale of their entire EP. The vocal control evident in the contrast between the raw power unleashed on “Stay Down” and the restraint on the acoustic and un-miked closer “Ketchum, ID” proved these ladies really can do anything.

1. Frightened Rabbit – The Midnight Organ Fight 10th Anniversary Tour at Thalia Hall, February 16th

This is incredibly bittersweet, in light of frontman Scott Hutchison’s death in May. Scotland’s Frightened Rabbit played two nights in Chicago during a brief album anniversary tour, hosting what turned into an audience sing-along of Midnight Organ Fight in its entirety along with a mix of other favorites including “Holy,” “The Woodpile” and “The Oil Slick.” Losing such an honest and powerful voice this year hurt a lot. I’m so thankful I had one last evening of catharsis with him.

#music

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