I have one thing left from my ex. A few months ago, I took all her gifts, all her love letters, all her jewelry, and I threw it in the garbage,  I’m never getting those things back, and that’s okay, because I don’t want them.  We broke up over a year ago, I don’t need those things.  And now there’s nothing left. Except for this stuffed bunny. She gave it to me on our second date.  She met me at the train with flowers, and I remember thinking about how nobody had ever bought me flowers before.  We had a picnic in the park, played cards, hung out with her best friends, and she gave me the bunny. It’s been two years since that date.  I don’t love her.  I don’t miss her.  But I don’t know what to do about this stupid fucking bunny. I could throw it out.  I could give it away.  But it’s my last connection to the first person I ever fell in love with.   There were so many red flags, but tonight I’m just thinking about the green ones.  The time she stayed up all night sitting on her bathroom floor while I hugged the toilet seat trying not to puke, telling me funny stories to distract me. The night she wrapped me in a blanket, sat me on her lap, and pointed out constellations I had never even heard of.  I had no idea she was breaking up with me just a few weeks later. The time she told me she loved me.  How wide her eyes were, how scared she looked, how I screamed and threw down my bag and kissed her, and she thought she did something wrong until I sat her down and smiled at her.   How I told her I loved her a few days later outside of a truly disgusting subway station. She loved pokemon, and hair dye, and piercings, and for one summer we had a whole apartment to ourselves in Florida for a week, and it was like a dream. It’s been over a year since I last saw her.  She’s had a girlfriend since then.  She’s changed her hair.  I hear she moved apartments and got a new job. I shaved my head.  I’ve gained 30 pounds.  I’ve got a new job too.  I’ve been on dozens and dozens of dates.   We are not the same people we used to be. But I still have this bunny.  This stupid fucking bunny that sits in the corner on the floor of my room that I can’t bear to throw out because I have nothing left of her.  And all I feel when I look at it is anger.  But there’s a part of me, a small part of me, that remembers what falling in love for the first time was like. And even though she forced me out of love, even though it’s been over and will be over forever, even though I’m grateful I’ll never see her again, even though we are completely different people from two years ago, from the day she gave me the toy, I can’t ever forget what it felt like to feel as loved as I did when she gave it to me. And I don’t know if I’ll ever feel that way again. So for now, the stupid fucking bunny sits on the floor collecting dust.  I’ll probably throw it out soon.  I might rip it to pieces for the catharsis.  But until that day, it’s going to sit there, and it’s going to watch me become a person she would never recognize. And that’s going to have to be okay.

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

I was tagged by @sanhatation !  ty riles this was rlly fun 

Would you rather explore the many planets in the universe or explore the wondrous depths of our oceans? 

Y'all knOw im a hoe for astronomy,, send me thru those worm holes,, lemme meet those aliens,, frick yes ! The ocean scares me lmao

Can you describe your favorite color without saying what it is and its shades? 

It's like,, royalty and oceans, its either dark or light and its so pretty, theres this like twilight (the time of day yall, u stephanie myers hoes can get outta here) kinda feel to it and its very peaceful!!!

Your bias texts you, mistaking your number for one of their friends. Do you talk to them and keep up an act or do you admit the mistake? How do you do it? What happens after?

Minghao would probably send like a picture of some gucci shi and ask if he should get it and i'd be like "dang boy u got money !" and he'd be like "srry wrong number" but im annoying so i would just,, keep talking to him

 Describe your favorite feature of one of your best friends without saying what it is. Why?

I love the way my best friend just, talks i guess? The conversations we have just always seem to keep going on forever and ever and they come so smoothly and easily and even when theres silence it's comfortable and i really like that !! i like how comfortable we are with each other !

 What super power would you have and how would you use it? Hero or villain?

hOoOO okay I've actually thought about this so much and i'd want super speed !! I always seem to be in a time crunch and like,,, imagine waking up like 10 minutes before school starts and getting there like 5 minutes before the bell rings,, extra sleep ?? yes pls?? And honestly?? Lets be real i wouldnt be a hero or a villan,, i just want super speed to help me with my everyday life

What are three things included in your ideal type? Why? Would you accept someone without these features?

alrighty so my no. 1 is Loyalty, these hoes aint loyal? can't relate, my cowboys gotta have my back  secondly they gotta be funny, i can't hang out with w person who doesn't get jokes, super stupid funny is also appreciated, and also?? the want to actually dO things?? like a sense of adventure!! thats nice n i mean yeah id accept someone without these but like,,, i probably wouldnt want to be with u very often,,, lol

Vampires, werewolves, or witches? If you could become one, which would you choose and why?

W I T CH E S  witches are so cool did you know that beer was basically invented by witches?? Idk if its even true but i like that fun fact so im gonna pretend it is until i feel like actually researching it rjfgwpo anyway being a witch would be so cool like first of all the aesthetic of like alchemy and cauldrons and just hAlloween yknow but also??? magic?? yes 

if you released a mini album with 4 songs, what would the song titles be?

1 Crying™

2 Minghaos Elf Ears R Cute

 3 *7 minute screech*

4 Sore After 20 Situps

Describe what you feel right now by using a metaphor without including the word to describe how you are feeling.

There are tiny storms in the back of my brain, but air is in my lungs and my bones are whole.

Your bias from one group confesses to you in front of your bias from another group. They quickly confess their love. Who do you choose? they cannot be your ult. bias.

*uncomfortable aromantic laughter* listen i love rocky n i love lua but i,, the romance is not 4 this cowboy

Your bias promises to go on a date with you on the condition that you plan it. Plan the entire night (where you go, why, what you eat, what you wear, the other places you go, what you talk about, etc.)

*cracks knuckles* get ready for some good platonic shiz right here yall  Okay so im not much of a uh,, going-out kinda person ig but if we wEre to go out it'd be like an arcade or smth and minghao wld be wearing that rEd hoodie n we'd both be workin black skinny jeans bc  Looks™. I'd also be wearin like a white tshirt and my grey demin jacket bc its comfy af and i Love. We'd spend the night challenging each other to rounds of donkey kong and i'd spend like 30 tokens on the claw machines insisting that im a pro and then i'd finally win like a little frog or smth and give it to him bc he Deserves it. He'd probably also wreck some kid at ddr and then we'd spend an hour on the chance games trying to win 1000 tickets and be jealous of the 12 year old next to us who has like 6000 friggin tickets,, we'd come up wih theories on how the kid hacked the games and got thAt many tickets bc ?? they're riGGed man ur not actually supposed to win. After the arcade we'd probably go get shakes and then sit outside and talk about our favorite books and what they mean to us and stuff. Watch the stars and tell funny stories and maybe just take a walk. At some point i'd probably step on a rolly polly and cry bc i just killed an innocent little bug and minghao wld be like "wtf,,, get up hoe,," and then I feel like we'd end up just like sitting on a bench somewhere n talkin about deep things bc we both seem like we're kinda like that?? Idk I know I like talking about the universe and how the world works and things thay dont make sense to me and hes pretty Woke so he probably does too. It'd be a gt tho

fRickitgrn this was really fun ty again ri for tagging me i loev u and I’ll be tagging @arohawe, @illustre-bin, @lost-tearss, and  @blondshua ! have fun !

Day 4

i really don't know why I'm doing this its not like anyone cares and. its not like I'm gonna go back and read these but l o l here goes (for the mutual that keeps liking these posts, thank you!! at least someone cares) - woke up in the shadiest hotel of the 3 i stayed in but it was actually not near as bad as how mu grandma made it sound?? - had to deal with my mom and grandma having a disagreement over what time we should leave - didn't want to deal with stepdad so i went with my grandparents to breakfast while my mom went to go find a certain grave for my aunt (her best friend) in the cemetery - had breakfast at Village Inn, which i don't think i had ever been to one before? It was really good - had to deal with my grandma being bitchy bc my mom was taking too long at the cemetery. so my grandma went ahead and ordered breakfast but then we were done eating by the time my mom got there and had to wait. like. an extra hour - basically my grandma was in a super rush to get home?? idk why. the rest of us were chill and okay with it being night time before we got home - left La Junta, CO around 11am and started driving home - at the last gas station stop in CO my lil 9 yr old sister found a weed-themed hoodie and said she wanted that one and my horrified mom was like "NO" - my sunburn is peeling but only on one ear rn (my forehead and nose and other ear are gonna start peeling soon) and it looked so icky like. blister-y and gross - eventually my grandparents let me drive their car for about 2ish hours - first like. 10?ish minutes in and i almost rear-ended someone bc the jackass didn't use a turn signal and stopped like. instantly in the middle of a 65mph highway - almost gave both of my grandparents a heart attack bc of that - we stopped at a lil rest stop and !!! i saw a cat wandering about and i tried to get close but it ran away. it didn't look to be feral tho - fun fact it rained all 4 days we were on our trip,,, each time while we were driving - i actually used a public bathroom (i have an extreme fear of them) and survived - i got pissy over something probably stupid but oh well. it must be nice to like. actually talk to friends lol i wouldnt know - then we stopped at a subway for dinner - i asked my mom if i could drive her car for the last like. hour and 45 minutes it would take us to get home and stepdad was a dick and was like "no im driving" and then. when we left the subway. he got in the passenger seat and let my mom drive and i was so pissed about that too - i listened to the entire dragon age inquisition soundtrack for the rest of the trip home (i rode in my grandparents car bc i was pissed at stepdad) - then. the last like. 4 minutes of the drive i listened to Home Sweet Home - its gross weather at home. like. Rude. i really loved the cool weather in Colorado but here in Kansas?? no. it is hot and humid and disgusting - WINSTON (my dog) WAS SO EXCITED WHEN I PULLED IN THE DRIVEWAY LIKE HE !! WAS JUMPING UP AT THE DOOR AND SO HAPPY LIKE !!! YES BBY I MISSED U TOO - and then FRANCIS (my cat) WAS OUTSIDE THE HOUSE AND RAN UP TO ME WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE CAR AND !!! LET ME HOLD HIM AND !!! MY BABIES MISSED ME - when i got in the house (i had to wait on my mom bc she had the key) WINSTON RAN UP TO ME AND WAS JUMPING ALL OVER MY LEGS !!!! - i was less pissy after seeing and petting my babies again - i then unpacked - and i also got all my mail from the last 4 days. lmao my car tags are due in august but they're only $66 so Nice (my moms are like. $250 but she also has a nicer newer car) - another mail i got was from my high school?? they sent me a CHECK? FOR $10? idk why but. hey. money is nice - then we drove to one of my aunt's houses bc my brother wanted to spend the night there and bc i needed to get my house key back from her (she was the one that fed Winston and Francis while we were gone) - and we showed her all the pictures and told her stories - then it was a fast run into the grocery store bc we need milk, bread, toilet paper, and my mom needed soda for the house - my mom has a crush on one of the guys that works at the grocery store and. he helped us carry the bags out to the car even tho we didnt need help. bc. my mom thinks he's cute - then we got home and now im gonna watch an episode or two of Teen Titans (i started rewatching the whole series) and then go to bed - so in total it took like. 9.5 hours to drive home but we didn't make as many stops and we left from La Junta, which is a smaller distance than the first town we stayed in (Alamosa, CO) - also this happened yesterday but i forgot to write it down (i think) but a coworker asked if i could trade shifts and i was like ??? buddy im not even in the state rn so no