#kategate
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Reasons I’ve heard why Princess Kate is “missing” in no particular order:
• BBL
• facelift
• prepping for going on The Masked Singer
• growing out a bad fringe
• mental breakdown (possibly due to William knocking up Rose Hanbury)
• going on drag race All Stars (courtesy of Bianca Del Rio)
• they’re getting a divorce
•induced coma
• she’s straight up just dead and the royals are just digitally “weekend at Bernie’s”-ing us
• she’s moved to a small town and has met a man who doesn’t know she’s a princess and is teaching her the real joy of Christmas.
• she’s recovering from abdominal surgery on medical advice (booooooo)
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kate middleton has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever tomorrow, on the ides of march,
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#i haven't really been following this Kate Middleton thing properly but it's probably time I did#Kate Middleton#KateGate#Royal Family#British royal family#not a royalist#Willy's Chocolate Experience#Willy Wonka#Charlie and the Chocolate Factory#Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory#Wonka#Glasgow#Scotland
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Case closed, mystery solved. Good job errbody 🫡
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If X-Men '97 was set in the present day you just know Morph would be popping down to the local store as Kate Middleton just to mess with everyone.
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if Kate really pulled a Gone Girl and makes a comeback wearing the revenge dress to announce she’s divorcing William it really is going to add at least 10 years to my lifespan
#too good to be true tbh#jokes aside i hope she’s ok i hope they didn’t kil her#princess of wales#catherine princess of wales#kate middleton#house of windsor#british royal family#prince william#kategate#where is kate
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This is tangential to the whole KateGate situation, but one person I saw talking about it mentioned how the royal family has been getting away with altering images for CENTURIES to make themselves look better, and they're just shocked they're finally getting called out for it.
But that made me curious. DID they get called on it before? Like, in Henry VIII's court were there people gossiping about how much better the portrait artist made him look after he started to really go downhill? Were there newspaper articles in the Victorian era about the fact that Victoria had images of herself altered all the time?
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the usual ‘i don’t care about the royal family’ caveat, but it is wild someone in kensington palace decided that the best way to protect kate middleton’s privacy while she deals with cancer was by creating totally preventable PR disasters and then making her take the blame for them
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I MEAN but wouldn't that be an incredible isekai series??
a modern princess whose job is basically just being a beautiful figurehead
grows bored with her vapid role in life and withdraws from society, riddled with ennui
only to fall into a fantasy realm where princesses have real political power
as well as important responsibilities that her subjects depend upon
and at first it's a comedy of errors as she realizes that none of her training prepared her for this
but then she grows as a person and applies herself to learning how to guide and guard this kingdom
and becomes the powerful and just princess she was always meant to be
...so I guess apparently my new favorite conspiracy theory is that kate's shoujo manga just underwent a MASSIVE genre switch.
#realistic royal meet-cutes are OUT fantasy realms in need of strong leadership are IN#I don't know what the hell is in WOW I've never played it I just made up a fantasy realm in my head#I'm an American so being anti-monarchist is in my blood#but along with the magic and mythical creatures part of the fantasy is that monarchies are cool here#so that's all right#kategate#kate middleton
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I am not going to believe King Charles died until the Supernatural meme tells me it straight. 👀
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#lol#kategate#kate middleton#katespiracy#blurry kate middleton#wheres kate#where she at#kate middleton auditions#im sorry im sorry but this shit is soooo funny
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And now for my top 5 fun theories about Kate:
She got isekaied into a fantasy version of England where she has to step up and become a true princess
She lost her memories and is questing across England to discover who she is and she also has a sword
She is in New Hampshire living out the plot of a Hallmark Christmas movie
She fell off a yacht and got amnesia and was taken in by a single father in Oregon who told her she was his wife so that she would take care of the house and his kids but they end up falling in love
She is filming the latest season of the masked singer
#kategate#yes number 4 is the plot of overboard 1987#also shout out to @cookinguptales for the isekai theory it my absolute favorite#a close number 6 was the Kate is really really into world of warcraft theory#kate middleton
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