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potatounicoorn · 1 year

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Käärijä's Helsinki live concert, mid-speeches translated

Okay as promised I will try to translate Käärijä's speeches of his concert. I am doing this as training for my English exam so I will make mistakes. Also Käärijä speaks in Finnish spoken language, and it has more slang than written language. So the translations are a polished versions of his speeches. Please correct me on my grammar mistakes! :D

---

"Good friends! Welcome to Käärijä's journey!

---

"Just like that. There is a lot of you. I heard some people have been waiting for a week in there. That requires skills. Thank you for that. Good lord give your self a big applause for this."

"Käärijä in Vantaa. From Vantaa. A sold-out Black box (the concert)."

"Nobody would have believed this. Not you, not me, no one. But accidents happen to everyone and now one happened to Käärijä.

"Amazing, let's continue."

(applause)

"Oh don't start yet, I'll take my jacket off. (A friends name?) take my jacket off."

"This leather is a bad choice for the outfit cause there are flames and everything. Leather against leather.

(The Finnish word for skin and leather is nahka so it's a fun play with words).

"A sip of water and we will continue."

"But one question! Did we come here to have fun? (Crowd cheers) Okay then we will continue."

---

"Thank you"

"Hey! Now there is this thing, and I am hoping that this friend who is coming here has drunk water. So that he won't go into the pyres, because today this one guy has a bachelor party."

(The guy in question appears, and Käärijä speaks to him. The guy wears a monkey suit)

"And I bet. And I bet you don't get any further. This will remain as a bachelor party. And you can start looking for a new friend, a new companion. I hope they are watching this."

"Hey! Here we have a monkey. And so am I."

"This job that we are doing here is really a job of a monkey. (With monkey they mean kinda silly or stupid). Glad to see someone else in this suit and next we have the song Kiertävä sirkus."

"You can go wild but don't go into the flames."

---

"Thank you! (Speaking to the monkey guy). I wish you nothing but the best and good luck."

"If everything went badly because of this, then you can move into my tiny apartment. You are always welcome."

"Okay take that monkey away."

(Speaking to the crowd again)

"It makes me glad. (He said "vetää hiljaiseksi" which means "pulls me silent", but idk how to translate that well)."

"People are wearing green and some people don't have clothes at all on them, but that is fine."

"So, have you been enjoying yourselves huh?"

(crowd cheers)

"Well yes. So I actually went to Eurovision, I don't know if anyone watched it, but-"

(cheering)

"Yes that was, that was like a basic gig in Nivala. Yeah we did that out of the way and- now we are here. So I appreciate all of you so so so so much."

"This is not self-evident, so many people want to see this circus monkey, I don't- I mean I am thinking what is wrong with you all, but it's nice that you are all here. Yeah just kidding.

"I also want to thank you for everything, you guys have made this thing, not me I just made the song. I didn't do much more than that. You guys created this around Käärijä- well I am not sure what sort of chaos this is, but you guys are guilty for that. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"And then I would like to respect this guy called Antti Tuisku. " (Antti is a very popular and beloved Finnish singer).

"Sadly I need to tell you that Antti had much more better things to do, than come to Käärijä's concert."

"He is somewhere in Spain, with an oiled chest. Macarena- or what is that song."

"But we are trying to give our respects to him. He is apparently quitting his career, good for me, he made me some room. Thank you Antti."

"Antti was Finland's best live performer, notice "he was". Who is it now? I do not know."

"But- I was thinking we could do it for you guys (his and Antti's song "Auto jää".) We can respect Antti and- this sounds like a funeral speech. He is alive. And is doing well. Is doing better than ever."

"Antti, if you are watching this somewhere, I don't know somewhere. But if you are not watching then all the best for you. See you in Spain."

"Let's get going."

"You can sing along! I have no idea how these lyrics go, but let's try."

---

"Thank you."

"Pity that Antti didn't come."

"Antti did not come and you can't do anything about it."

(I don't know how to translate the word "onpa" but he says that a few times. Basically a word to start a sentence)

"I don't know, this makes me speechless. (the sound is not working) And now my headset is starting to get broken. I am absolutely messed up over here. I am not drunk but otherwise I'm messed up."

"There is- hey (points into the crowd) you put me messages about that hat, didn't you? Yes. Think about this, there is this one person who made a- I don't know how many weeks or months it took you to make that- that hat. Hat. First they were flexing me like "Look at this hat" and I was like oh that is kinda cool "Do you want this?".

(The person starts to point at the hat and ask does Käärijä want it)

"Why would I take it, it's yours!! Dear lord- no I can't- maybe later."

"Quite a hustle and bustle."

"Shall we continue still?"

(Crowd cheers)

"Yes we will continue- I am trying to look if there are any- all of you are my friends. And that much I want to say that welcome to Käärijä's family."

(Cheering)

"Even if you don't want to, now you are a part of Käärijä's family, because you came here. You have sold your souls to Käärijä.

(Cheers"

"And I hope everyone respects each other here, because otherwise I will come there and no one will have fun anymore."

"Because there are small family members here, so I hope they too will see something. So if there is a little Lassi somewhere in there, then take that Lassi and carry him so he could see too. Or then they can come here 10 years later."

"I feel like that 5 year old Lassi is as tall as me. Or what was its name. But I guess-"

"Okay then we will do a few new songs. We released this mixtape and decided to do those songs as well. I am kinda terrified already, (looks at a paper on the floor) and I went to look what were the names of the songs."

"Are they- Are these the songs? Well I guess there is no other choice but to do these."

"Are there anyone who bought that mixtape?"

"Well they did not sell that well but- that is why I am not even wearing a shirt on."

(A pink guy whispers something to him)

"What?"

"Is it the wrong song? That was the wrong song."

"What was it?"

"Well it was Mic mac."

"Sorry for that, I am still kinda in Liverpool, but well just ignore that."

"Let's play Mic mac then."

"If someone knows this legendary dance, you are allowed to dance."

---

"There is a mini Käärijä. Hello."

"That is cool. Is that my missing bolero? That was- you never returned it. But that's okay, it is yours now."

"Who else do we have here. What is that, a Pokemon card, a Bulbasaur- so many gifts here again."

"You guys are- a finnish flag- yes I know where we are."

"Someone came here "Really, Käärijä can't remember. We should show him that he is here in Finland, and no more in Liverpool!"

"Draw me a tattoo."

"Now you are- I will come there at some point. You are- you are- you are going hard over there, there is absolutely no sense in this."

"Dear lord."

"Does anyone else want a tattoo? I have the equipments over there."

"When this career in music starts going downhill, I was thinking about- well I guess I need to have a tattoo shop then, because so many want to take one."

"Alright, let's do more new songs then. Is that ok?"

(Crowd says yes)

"Well this is the first time we are doing these live, so give us some air and mercy. We are a bit confused, but that's the spirit."

"Let's go."

---

"Thank you."

"That went surprisingly well. A bit of confusion, but that is okay. Forgive me."

"And then there would be this "Morgan", has anyone heard it?"

(cheering)

"I can tell you, yesterday when we were practicing it- it was horrifying to watch. Let's hope it is today, just as horrifying to watch."

"So let's go!"

---

"Thank you (starts laughing)"

"Guys, you should never present a song you learned yesterday."

"But that went quite well, didn't it?"

"Yeah, the same thing was with Eurovision. I learned the lyrics a day before the show, and it went well!"

"Hey it is absolutely amazing. Life ain't so serious. It's good to go wild sometimes, but like nicely, no stupid things."

"I also want to say hey to the back row."

(cheering)

"Käärijä's concerts rarely have a back row, but now there is one."

"That is very nice, welcome here. I hope you can see something, I'm kinda a tiny short guy."

"People have been talking about how tall Käärijä is. So you know what?"

"I don't know."

"That's it."

"Let's go to the next song!"

---

"That kind. That song."

"Hey, a question. Always interesting a question like this."

"How many people knew about Käärijä before UMK?"

(Crowd answers)

"Not everyone could have know no. Where have you been those days? When Käärijä sang lonely gigs? In Pudasjärvi, in a corner of a pizzeria. Haven't seen you guys there."

"How many of you, Käärijä was not really known, before UMK?"

(Crowd answers again)

"Well now it badly seems like, people are trying to get pity pints to Käärijä. Same guys who said "Yes I have listened" raised their hands in "I haven't listened"."

"Well it is what it is. That I will never know. Numbers will know."

(The person with a tattoo sign is waving their sign)

"You are still swinging there. We should take a hotel room later, now take it easy. We will make that tattoo."

"Wow. Are there- How many made a bolero?"

(People raise their hands, one guy is jumping, Käärijä points at him)

"You. The same crazy person again here. I can never get rid of you. Now you have some kind of a teddy bear with you. What gig was it- it was Lap- Lappeenranta?"

"This guy stole the whole show."

"You got paid and everything."

"Yes well- yes no wonder Kärtsäri is not driving around with a fancy car when this one guy takes it all (the money)."

(The guy takes his wig off)

"Put that potty back you looked better in it."

"Hey I want to- there is a bolero. I first of all want to thank you- I am usually not the one to say thank you, I am that kind of a person who is not thanking everyone. That's not who I am. Thanking everyone is more of Antti's thing, not mine."

"But I want to say, to all the families that there here. Are there any families here?"

(Crowd answers)

"I assumed at first of course that "Yess there are families here". And nobody came. Let's just say, the smallest family members welcome here, and I hope parents know where they just took their kids. And I try to behave accordingly, today. This is the last time."

"This is the coolest thing that has happened to me, honestly."

(Crowd cheers)

"There- there in Liverpool the fact that there were 15 thousand people and 250 million people watching from TV, this is much cooler. Thank you for that."

(Crowd cheers)

"Even if I lie a lot, I am not lying about this."

"Okay shall we continue?"

"Hey, will any shirts come off? Next up is Paidaton riehuja (shirtless rampage) so will any come off? There! There went one."

"Remember at Käärijä's concert we are all family, so you can take off your shirt no matter gender or who you are. Of course be aware of the smallest family members, so they wont get trauma."

(Points at the crowd)

"What kind of a duck costume are you wearing?"

"You have come to the wrong concert, no but let's go."

---

(Käärijä goes near the crowd.)

"Thank you"

"Like that."

(Someones money drops)

"Your money dropped here."

(A little kid in a pink dress comes next to Käärijä)

"You- oh goddaughter even came here. Go fast to your mother or you'll drown there (in the crowd)."

(People give him stuff. Käärijä leads the kid back)

"Are these for me? Thank you. Amazing. (girl's name maybe?)"

(Käärijä goes back to the stage)

"I'll go back to the stage, I didn't go back home like some of you thought."

(Someone in the crowd shouts something, I am not sure what)

"It will come, it will come. It is the next one actually."

"Let's see. First time ever I had to do a set list. Because there are like 16 songs here."

"I am not sure what these songs are, but here they are."

"What are these songs? Do we even have time to do these all? Hey, before Urheilujätkä, there will be Hirttää kiinni."

"Is that okay?"

(He asks "Hirttääkö jengillä kiinni? Hyvä niin minullakin", not sure how to translate it right.)

---

"Kärtsäri's concert haven't had this kind of a feeling in a long time."

"Old man's pump is starting to fail, I hope our first aid is ready. Okay no that was a joke, no need to worry."

(Watching fan signs)

"What is there? "Greetings to mom and dad" my parents? Do you have something to say to my dad? "Cha cha cha, hirttää kiinni ja Mic mac" very well... "

"That is a cool sign, I need to give you my respects. My apartment is full of drawings, and shoes and socks and... I sleep on top of all the fan made things... and I don't have the money to move to a bigger apartment yet, but maybe someday for sure."

(Points to the crowd)

"Why are you jumping over there?"

"Cool is your bolero, what is it made of? Sheets maybe? No, just kidding, it's amazing."

(Cameraman is filming a fan with a sign "Make a <3 if you think Bojan is hot" Käärijä sadly did not notice :( Love the fan for trying)

"Soon we will give you some cha cha cha. And and well not yet, I tricked you guys a little, but soon."

"Before that, I would like to ask some people- wait I need to check who I was supposed to ask here."

"Yeah my memory left in- I need to say that this journey from Liverpool- no actually from UMK to here has really been a journey of some kind. And you people have made me come through it. I must say that if people think that this kind of life is just some highlight and very cool- this is very cool yes, but there are a lot of dark sides into this."

But I must say that the moment I see so many people here because of me- Dear lord."

"If my mom comes here well that is normal, but this many people, I am not sure how many is just wow. Nobody probably bought their own ticket here. You won your tickets from some cereal packet or-"

"Hey next I would like to ask people here on the stage. First of all I am asking my friend, who is actually the reason why I am on music business at all, and I have learned a lot from him and he is a dear friend. We have been through some hardships but we are still friends and I hope it stays like that, so now with a big applause welcome to the stage Soni!!! (I think it was Soni)"

(crowd cheers)

Soni: "Good evening"

Käärijä: "Pay your debts"

Soni:: "Tomorrow"

Käärijä: "Welcome to the stage"

Soni: "Thank you thank you"

"And next I would like to ask, one friend, who we made the first Käärijä song with and my best friend. Who was with me in Liverpool as an interpreter but he didn't get to do anything cause I became so good in English. My English is kinda good nowadays."

"Yes yes mister worldwide here"

"Applause to Jesse!!!!!"

"And before all this I will go get this one shirt. Where is it? Here."

Soni: "Does anyone have lamps on their phones? Could we get those up for the next song?"

Jesse: "This is the moment"

"This is very awkward to wear this shirt on. But is e here, is uncle Jaska here somewhere? Sportguy himself."

"He is not. Hey now it looks cool. Are you ready before the big final? Let's go!"

---

""Well that was a journey."

Joni: "What a circus."

"Jesse over here has played hockey before. Can't believe he is here now. Well career didn't start on that area and Jesse is not doing anything in this area either."

"Hey a few songs left I hope you have all enjoyed. Tomorrow I will go to a vacation so don't try to contact me. I won't answer. Cause now Kärtsäri needs a vacation."

"A few songs left and then you can all go to home to sleep. Are you ready?"

"I'll go take my shirt of and then we will continue."

(Someone shouts take your pants off)

"Pants off? These pants are stuck in my skin. So they won't leave. If you didn't know I actually sleep in these."

"Journey has been hard and it has a prize and that we pay."

"Next we will have a tense atmosphere"

"So let's continue."

---

(Crowd shouts Cha cha cha)

---

"Thank you!!!!"

"Give a big applause to yourselves! Give a big applause to the dancers! And give a big applause to my pink friends!"

"Do you want it to play again?"

"DO YOU WANT IT AGAIN?"

"Okay let's do it, now everyone goes as hard as they can!"

---

"Thank you!"

"Dear god, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Now my tank is empty and I will go to a vacation. remember to take a break and have a vacation."

"I will remember this always, I don't remember anything from the Eurovision show but this I will always remember. Thank you!"

"And I hope we can take one family photo. Everyone here, YLE will shut the TV soon. Okay good, good. And you can lift our hands."

(Crowd is chanting "Winner! Winner! Winner!")

"Thank you! See you in the future and maybe somewhere else!"

"Thank you, thank you. Goodbye!"

---

And with that I have decided to never translate anything ever again. Why did I think this would take an hour max? Anyway I hope this was useful to someone out there. It was a fun protect and after this, my English exam better be a 10.

GOODNIGHT!!!!! <3

#käärijä #kaarija #eurovision #esc 2023 #eurovision 2023 #finnish #english #translation #käärijä concert

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