#just... where's MY experience. ya know?
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I wish there was a tag for "Ageplay Dates" or "Ageplay Date Ideas." Maybe there used to be one before Tumblr tags went to hell. I've noticed as I'm tagging prompt posts that a lot of ageplay-related stuff is either raunchy-as-hell BDSM... or for literal children 😅 Where are my cute-as-fuck park dates, or pillow forts, or trips to Build-A-Bear?
While we're at it, maybe we could make a "SFW Ageplay" tag happen. Because sometimes I'm in the mood for spicy... but sometimes I just want cuddles with Daddy, you know?? In my local IRL kink scene there are more non-sexual ageplayers than sexual ones, but on the internet sexy ageplay seems to be not just the default, but the only. Agere tends to be SFW, but I stay out of those tags because I know many age regressors have a boundary about interacting with kinksters.
ANYWAY. I'm going to try to make #Age/Play Dates and #SFW Age/Play happen. Use them if you'd like <3 <3 <3
#age/play dates#sfw age/play#we'll see if I can censor this down to show up in any tags at all lmaoooo#tumblr purity police get fucked#no k!nk shaming btw I really do love the raunchy stuff sometimes!#y'all are all beautiful and I love to see you living your best lives#just... where's MY experience. ya know?#age/play#age pl4y#@geplay#daddy k!nk#mommy k!nk#middle space#agepl@y#agepl4y may
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I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.
#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it#like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago#so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows#but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown#AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS#1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject#and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS#or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's#AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way#okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there.#also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that#well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there#ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE#also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines#IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT#AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS#i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen.#its VITAL that that did not happen!!!!#its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan#and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died#SO. logically it must have been like#fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?)#and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist?#like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote?#that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro#god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke.#NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW#in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw)#does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab????#oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute
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You know me. I like barely ever show any NOT SAFE FOR WORK drawings on here. So instead, I'm sharing drawings of my face AS I was drawing each NOT SAFE FOR WORK thing.
And the subject is right there, smack dab in the middle. Being tormented by the sins of the egg. (I drew him really cute but I can't share the rest.)
ALSO, I'd like to state that it's not corngraphic except like two maybe, it's more so like violent. We are all just having fun beating this guy up. Like, step right up and stomp on his face type shih. I never ever ever draw violent stuff, unless it's lewling related, so this is like cathartic.
This uhh feeling will fade after Halloween hopefully and we'll go back to our regularly scheduled wholesomeness and cammypus.
#i looked in a mirror 20 feet away as reference because im like NYAHAHA WHAT EVILS HAVE I COMMITED#and i see my own smug face in the mirror like 'yes this will get me hunted down'#sketches#i do comedy slapstick violence but ya know doing more darker jokes and adult humor feels nice like im not censoring myself#i mean i still am by not showing you guys a lot of the bloody or even H O RN Y stuff but ya cant expose everything#like for those of yall who have followed me for years id say were all legal here for more than my usual 13+ content#i just want ro be appealing to a broader audience IN CASE i ever did make it somewhere but haha its been what#8 years since i started this blog. any credit i had died off with teeny taku fhjdjsksajsk#ive got no image to uphold. i have nothing im trying to promote anymore. i do but ive lost the plot ya know#im just having fun and im glad you guys are just ...letting me? like i looked at my old stuff#with the cookies the pokemans the fehs the ocs. and yall just let me go freaking wild and thought#yeah ill give that a like. bless yalls hearts. bless ya souls. ive got thousands of posts on here and yall just let me run wild#and thank you for that. ya never pit pressure on me. kts me outting pressure on myself.#i do wish there were folks that did look forward to some actual tangible content instead of me shitposting with no cohesiveness#but thats just hard with adhd. and try as i might with medications and alarms and deadlines and what have you. its just. difficult#like even the tags here are derailing. but i hope that alongside me just having fun doing my thing. i hope i can get on course#where there is a clear line to follow in my life but i dont lose sight of it as i trail off#but for now. im just drawing experimenting and straight up goofing around. have fun you guys#i may not show you everything but just know im having fun too.
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I don't want to sound dismissive because you're right and stories about adults are good, but that post about not relating to coming of age stories is so funny you just "came of age" like 6 years ago.
i definitely get where ur comin from anon but I didn't relate to coming age stories when i was """"coming of age""" either. I haven't even had a first love and i didn't start to understand my gender more until i was 23 skdfjkdflk which is why it's hilarious but also a little frustrating that ages like. 15-19 are supposed to be prime Discovering Yourself and Becoming Who You Are ages. most people are in a constant state of self discovery and becoming and i just find most coming of age stories uhhhh...kind of horseshit lol. I'm dunking on anyone that did find them relatable or did see themselves in them or value them but they r just. Not for me and never really have been even when I was the target age you know?
#replies#anon#'coming of age' we are ALWAYS coming of age you know? coming to know yourself in your 30s is still coming of age!!!#im not actually arguing with you personally anon this was a fun message and i get that like. yeah i cannot claim to be an Elder tm lol#but i think some people are misinterpreting that psot and are being like ugh how dare you maybe just stop reading YA??#and that NOT my fucking point. my fucking point is that like 75% of the shows and books that get recommended to me#(which jumps to like 90% if it's queer media :/) are about teens!!!#i don't want teenage stories and im sick of self discovery and first loves and fun adventures and cool space operas being#mostly starring teenagers as if only teenagers experience that stuff!!!#why are adults allowed to find new loves and passions and have a love triangle with a bad boy and their best friend if they so want#why are 40 somethings allowed to figure out their gender and sexuality!!!#THAT's what im complaining about im complaining that finding good Adult fiction that has some similar narrative beats to the imo best parts#common aspects of ya fiction is hard#where's the stories for those of us that didn't have first loves at 15 and haven't had first loves at 25 and are still figuring out things#tldr most high school/ya stories have some really cool elements that i don't think need to be exclusive to teenagers#extra tldr: stop telling me about fictional teens having sex i can not and will not fucking care anymore#SORRY FOR THE TAG RANT ANON YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS LOL
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Will forever love and adore the game Ib, it's the very first rpgmaker horror game I've played and it has a very special place in my heart. On that same note, it's also very funny how my memories of playing this in the past was all bout how scary the game was but now that I've revisited it, it actually aint even scary bro.
#ariaplays#ariaplays: Ib#a short and nice experience#miiiight go back and get the other endings and check out the area that unlocks during a second playthrough#went with garry's happy ending. love him so much#felt so bad for mary tho.... maaaan... its either garry or mary and im so sorry mary but garry...#i remember back then as a kid i hated mary sooo much cuz the first ending i got was her happy ending#and it tore my heart apart seeing garry slowly die. the part where he just told ib he'll just be sleeping for awhile like bro...#i know you aint bro... bro you're gonna die arent you... the moment you close your eyes youll be dead arent you.... broo....#ya best believe young me couldnt rest at all until i get garry's happy ending#and after a few days. i started thinkin more bout mary and i was like: actually... she aint rlly that bad...#and yea she rlly aint shes just a really lonely kid who wants to get outta the gallery and eat sweets and have friends#sad that theres no ending where both garry and mary could leave with ib...#also ive ingrained some fanlyrics for the character themes so much back then that i still remember it a bit today#hearing garry's theme and im like: if you ever feel scared or lost--#for mary's theme it'll be like: welcome to my world that's painted with sadness--
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Man the average right leaning person really is just the most gullable people like shit some times I forget how stupid some people can be and then they open their mouths and start talking about aliens and demons on planes after watching some video online of some lady going crazy on a plane talking bout a passenger being not real like the woman was probably haveing a mental break and y’all are really out here talking bout demonic fucking possession of the person who is being screamed at by someone clearly having a break from reality shits crazy
#like could there be life on other planets sure is that what’s happening here no y’all realize than when ever our government is about to try#to mobilize our military that we always see an uptick in supposed ufo sitings because ya know they are trying to distract the populous#like do the reading and you see that at almost every major uptick in ufo mania that it corrosponds with the beginning of a major military#action or something else that the government doesn’t want the average person focused on#also most ufos or UAPs as they are now called are just classified testing of aircraft or weapons systems or they are actually weather#phenomena cause natures fucking stranger than fiction sometimes#the likelihood of any ufo or uap sightings being actually extra terrestrial is slim to none#coming from a military family who actually where aerospace engineers who helped to develop some of those super secret weapons and planes#the government ain’t smart enough or well organized enough to hide something that big that convincingly for this long#some of the people at my place of employment are gullible idiots who believe anything they see online because they don’t have experience#with things or people who are actually involved in the things they are talking about#also those hearings that congress had were not interviewing the people who claimed to have seen uaps no they were interviewing people who#claimed to have interviewed people who had seen them as in they didn’t actually have any evidence#it’s like if I someone who has worked with the parks system interview someone who claims to have seen Bigfoot and then testified infront of#congress to the fact that this person told me they had seen Bigfoot it doesn’t actually prove that Bigfoot exists
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no-ones even taking volunteers anymore
#ameera speaks#i mentioned this before but alhamdulillah im in a position where i dont have to worry about working for money to support myself just yet#but i still want to get some experience before i start Actually working ya know#like i dont want a 9-5 yet but a second job wouldnt hurt me either#and im looking on indeed. nothing. and i thought ill check if my local library or any nearby bookshops are taking people and no !!!!
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*takes off glasses and pinches bridge of my nose* god hpw much vivi lore have i posted here again
#asked a friend what they thought vivis lore was based on what id posted and their reply was like.#something involving the words vague and meta#Based on the 'do it all differently' post probably#anyway#lore drop#So Vivis an undertale oc based on an RP i did with a friend yeaaaaars ago. like. the year undertale came out and in early middleschool#they were much better at it than me on accounr of being 2 years older and also a DM so theres the disclaimer on her og lore being shitty#Uh. The reason I dont talk about it is because there Is no plot. the plot of vivi constantly changes#originally it was just goofing off in the world messing with magic the occasional edge trademark of middleschoolers ya know how it is#for a while i had one of those angsty things canonized that being g//ster kidnapping her for no reason no im not exaggerating#altho i did give him a reason#that being that shes the 2nd human to fall being purple and so SOUL EXPERIMENT TIME BABY#CURRENTLY and emphasis on the currently the experimenting does happen but hes not. evil he just makes a grave miscalculation#that being the power needed to take down the barrier. if you havemt seen her toyhouse basically sjes the reason they know the exact#number of souls at the price of hers getting really damaged#where was i#oh yeah shes also the skelebros adopted sister because that was the easiest way to label and carry over the relationship she had with#s//ns in the og rp (it was not weird or romantic in the slightest my friend just wanted a character to play and he happened to be the one#they chose) ive been playing around a lot with the 3s dynamics its fun lol#uhhh what else. Oh yeah shes an undertsle oc rrom middle school so half the stuff i draw is not canon events that happen vivis like a jar#of raw edge and 'idc if it makes sense its fun to draw' that i crack open every once in a while (cough like weekly)#As for when she gets on the surface thats a bit more cringey lore wise but this is tumblr and yall can just fuckin skip past this honestly#if youve made it this far hi???? sorry for mmakin you read this many tags??? haha aw man#anyway basically shes. classified as a glitch because of the whole barrier incident and when frisk falls (yes that happens) everything#Breaks and shes suddenly on the surfsce. Alone.#After months of rrecoverin and being with her family and in a nice town shes suddenly got no one#plot holes abound but stories and ocs are for fun so#until she meets a girl who seems to know stuff about mt ebbot like shes been down there before. she also??? doesnt have anyone??? which is#scary (shes little. not single digits but Little) so vivis like I need more information and also you are smol come here#And for whatever god damn reason because luck hates her Gasters there! yayyyy!
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Turns out there’s even fewer straight people at my workplace than I thought, we’re down to two possible straight people ignoring the minors bc their orientations are none of my business
#and exclude the owner of the restaurant bc he’s not a prime#turns out food service is a good way to meet queer men#not for dating purposes bc I don’t sleep where I eat ya know#just for having other actual adult men who date men in my life#it’s also nice being able to talk about the specific experiences of being closeted in PPS in that era#like 2007-2014 was really something#the women at my job are also wonderful & I love them and their perspectives so much#to be clear#queer men are just special to me because of my personal faggotry#abe.txt
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I am being haunted by carlos in the hit nightvale book It Devours!
#jontalks#im too fucking nervous to make a long post abt it but mmy god#accurate protrayls of autism and trauma in media can be something so powerful#the. breakdown carlos has at the end of the book where hes like I will be safe from that place my family will be safe from the otherworld#and like. knowing how fucking traumatized he is from it. seeing him break down into tears and get so overwhelmed at the thought of not#being able to keep people safe from the thing that caused him so much fucking pain and not feeling safe knowing its still out there#hurting people and there is nothing he can do about it#and when he finds out hes been sending people there with his experiments on accident and his first instinct after he finally realizes what#hes done is to? try everything to look for everyone and find everyone#and when he cant find everyone hes sent to dow he wants to go again and again#as a form of punishment that he doesnt deserve#it is. so crazy as someone who struggles to cope with trauma seeing a character like carlos#who so obviously has? ptsd and is fucking struggling to cope with it and him lashing out and acting irrational isnt? villianized?#it devours showing how trauma can effect someone in ways that can be confusing to someone from an outside perspective and how trauma can#eat at you if you let it and just like#seeing that. concept not be done in a way to make someone look. bad and evil is so#much its so much as someone with ptsd#ive heard alot of people mention the autistic coding of carlos in this book too and its like !!! ya!!! ya#but i wanted to talk about this bc its really sticking with me after i finished it#trauma is confusing! for both the person struggling to cope with it and the people around them#and i love to see more shit! dig into it yknow!#anyway send me asks if you wanna hear me ramble about wtnv more lol#wtnv
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It is currently 3:51am and i cant seem to fall back asleep but i just had a fucking phenomenal idea for a ritshou fic entirely based on something i experienced as a kid.
So in like 3rd and 4th grade i would be put into 'special' classes with one teacher, maybe 3 other students, with no explanation to little old me. And we'd all sit close together carefully pronouncing vowels and consonents and words
And i went on like that for weeks maybe months not telling my mom until one day the truth is revealed. Where the teacher has a meeting with my mom. And i finally get glasses.
And it turns out that, because i would struggle to read what was on the chalkboard cuz i always sat in the back of the class, it was assumed i had issued with pronounciations (which was actually true to a small degree i had a lisp then) and so id be pulled into these smaller pronounciation lessons but somehow in them id pronounce things PERFECTLY. and it took so long for people to realize that was because i would be close enough to the board in those classes that i could see properly. But id thought blurry vision was normal and no one had bothered to ask me bout it
Anyways im gonna write ritsu goin thru that
#also got like 2 more ideas cuz sleep addled brain#specifically fic idea where ritsu tutors shou because shou is doing bad in class#and ritsu is afraid shou will just ditch school or get pulled back or leave his class in some way#so hes like. im going to make sure none of this happens. i cant let him do so bad he disappears again#but ritsu struggles w it because shou is autistic as fuck and possibly dyscalculic#other idea is shou seeking out mob in school cuz ritsu doesnt show up one day and basically thay shou n mob dynamic#i think shou would still be like. dismissive and critical of mob to a degree. but moreso avoidant#kinda in a fearful way. because shou's whole thing was knowing how to counter any psychic powers#and that inherent need to always need to know how to counter someone persists in him. its instinctual at thay point#but he knows w mob theres No Way he could take on mob. its inconceivable. and thay makes him anxious and fearful#anyways im sayin all this so i remember in the morning#my glasses experience was funny qs fuck tho. like ya i was young but no one thought to be like 'yo egg can u see this?'#but also i thought i WASNT fucked up. then boom turns out my vision is concerningly bad
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Just remembered how after my autistic diagnose every offical person was so careful to approach me about it at first. I know that's probably standard bc not everyone will like those news or know how to handle it but I legit just had doctors go 'hey... So... Are you okay? How do you feel?' and I was like 'haha, nice, so I haven't just been faking/now I know why I'm so different'
#miranda talking shit#And i mean... I wouldnt be diagnosed at all if i didnt personally call for it. I wouldn't have been able to see anyone unless i brought it#Up. Bc ive always been good at masking no one even considerd i was on the spectrum. And it wasnt until i got friends who was diagnosed and#Discussed it with me and their experiences + me reading up on it myself ... Where i was like wait uh ... Actually lol that's me haha#But i know plenty of people probably don't like to get the diagnosis. For me personally it was 90% a gopd thing#It felt a lot like... Ive always known i was 'diffrent' and ive always felt something was so wrong with me bc i didny work like other peope#And then it was like .... No im different but this is the thing that makes me different and its not something 'wrong' with me#For me it felt very freeing to get i guess a label or name on why im different. Before iy was all just... On me?#Like it was my own fault. Why couldnt i do this or just act normal why couldnt i just handle things others could? It all felt very. ...#Personal. Like it was my own fault ? Idk man. It was just great to get a reason to why i was diffrent and that it actually ... Made sense?#There were reasons behind why i got so overwhelmed or behaved weirdly etc yeah#My relationship with my own autism is the weirdest shit ever bc i dont personally think there's many positives with this diagnose#I can think of 10 cons per 1 pro basically but i also... Never had any bad feelings about getting it on paper that i have it?#I know my life would be much easier if i didnt have it. But i also know it cant be cured and is just part of me so#I have a fairly good or at least neatrul general feeling about it. Before i was diagnosed I'd cry and have breakdowns as to#Why i was so weird and why i couldnt be like everyone else. I got that on an weekly basis. After my diagnose? Very rarely.#I guess thats why im so... Supporting and maybe pushing others who think they are on the spectrum to check it out#Many will think oh but it doesnt DO anything. It doesnt change anything. It doesnt help to get it on paper ya know ?#And well yeah i guess technically that's true but man idk. If you have ever felt alienated like ive been my entire childhood and teen years#Getting the diagnose was so nice. And i got to learn about myself in much different ways than before. And understand that i am in fact not#Alone and not so misunderstood by everyone on earth lol.#@anyone who think they might be autistic give me an message and lets talk tbh if you want and need someone to discuss that with#Autism tag
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i love seeing people say true crime makes people, namely women, needlessly scared of the world, like women and anyone who is part of any marginalized group are already aware of the horrible things that can AND DO happen to them just by existing in the world, like listening to a true crme podcast is not gonna invent fears for us bc we already know how the world works whether we engage with any sort of true crime or not lol
#LIKE i don't feel particularly interested in those 48 hours or whatever shows with reenactments#bc that DOES absolutely feel gross and does not respect victims#but everything i listen to is generally pretty respectful and does not victim blame or anything#also people like to pretend this is some new thing like i'm sorry but people were interested in true crime centuries ago too#doesn't mean it couldn't be disrespectful back then but like#at least nowadays you have people who are actually advocating for victims#and fighting to get cased solved that otherwise wouldn't be bc they're people law enforcement doesn't care about#anyway like#there are just bad faith takes about true crime podcasts bc i think people really think they are like those tv shows#and they're just entirely not in my experience#i've listened to one where that guy does that overdramatized narration but other than that like#everyone talking about these cases is very aware these were actual human beings ya know
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Old record player spin my beloved <3
#just ignore the odd bumps on my thumb lol#realizing this may be the first time anyone will take notice of it due to how close it is in 4k resolution /j#but yeah honestly not sure why I have them! Just callus from funky drawing habits I guess#and the little brown skin dot too jksjksp#anywho enjoy the small snippet of As Long As You Follow (Fleetwood Mac)#honestly such a pretty song wish it was more well known#I’m getting back into the classics and assimilating myself into old tech because the fatigue from digital is getting to me#kinda feels different to have renewed fascination with a time period you never got to experience#Nostalgia but the curious sort#plus as much as I adore everything that I experience growing up in 2000’s with the internet and fandom culture it can be a bit much at time#nice to just be away from the screen and listen to physical music ya know? At least that’s what I’m trying out for a bit#gives me a push to actually be in reality with it since I typically rely on music for some level of escapism#also maybe I’m getting too introspective here but it’s nice being able to give personal use to a medium that goes discarded nowadays#It’s like paying tribute to something that paved the way to where we are now#and giving it a well deserved thank you and extra love#A-ANYWAYS record go brrrrr am I right haha#update#Fleetwood Mac#record player#vinyl#random
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So I finally got my water heater replaced after more than half a year of it leaking and nearly destroying my floor, but that's not the story. The story is of the handyman that installed it.
Dude's name is Chris, and he's your typically midwestern schlub - friendly, apologizes too much, really likes the Cardinals, maybe a little younger than my parents. Hella nice tho, gets the heater installed quickly, and even offers to fix the floorboards it warped (after nearly tripping over the hump it made in the floor twice). Overall, a stress-free experience.
Then, as he's gathering up his tools - "So, I noticed your, uh, banner. Over your bed."*
*(The closet where my water heater is is located in my bedroom because I live in a mobile home, dude wasn't just wandering creepily into my bedroom)
He's referring to a giant pride flag that's hanging over my bed, with the words "Sounds gay, I'm in"
My anxiety spikes instantaneously, thinking oh christ I'm about to get hatecrimed or at least microaggressioned.
But then he says "Yeah, my daughter is gay, and I was wondering, like...where do you guys, ya know, meet up?"
What.
"Because she met her most recent girlfriend when she was in jail, and I keep asking why she doesn't just find a nice lesbian librarian or something and she said 'dad I know they're out there, I just don't know where'. So...like...where do you?"
So I ended up confessing to this nice man who installed my water heater that I don't know of any real gay culture in our mostly Baptist Missouri town of about 18,000 that routinely freaks out over pride displays in the library (I'm sure it exists but I'm lazy and haven't gone looking for it). My girlfriend lives in an area with a rather bustling gay community (we just did a face painting booth for their pride festival a few weeks ago), so maybe have her go out there with some friends, and also a lot of queers I know play dnd so maybe find a nice group of them and network. I then apologized that I wasn't more helpful in getting his daughter settled with a nice, wholesome dyke.
On the plus side, he was not deterred at all, and seemed to be very interested in the fact dnd was so popular amongst the el gee bee tees. I told him the names of some dms I know and told him to go to town. I do not know if the names will be given to his daughter or hoarded for himself so he can join a group and play like he did when he was a teenager and not be called satanic for it.
He's coming to fix my floor next week.
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Omw to be the most fuckable twink in the ER
#I want to stress that this is (probably) very minor#I do not live in the US. Hospital visits are free and my doctor told me I should go to the ER so. I'm doing that#also going to the hospital is wild for me (bout to traumadump cw abuse and ptsd)#over here going to the hospital/ER isn't abnormal (apparently)#but ive grown up in a weird abusive situation#and was raised to believe you don't go to the hospital unless you know for a fact you'll die if you don't#to the point where the last time i got a serious cut i was prepared to stitch it myself (i was VERY close to doing it)#but yeah. going there is weird#I feel like I don't have a right to? or like I'm taking resources from others#or I'm being weak. or someone will hurt me if i go there#and I know thats the stuff from how I was raised but its just an odd feeling to have settling in the back of your head#I've only been here....3 times I think?#last near death experience. concussion. annnnd the one time I broke a bone at school#2 of those my friends dragged me there#the bone broke at school and the teachers called my mother and made me go#(which btw my mother was straight up yelling/swearing at me and hitting me in front of a doctor in the hall and he fucking did nothing????)#(its wild how people will watch and do nothing. not the first time. lady almost watched my father drown me once. did nothing. just stared)#other than that? never seen a doctor for things like broken bones#0/10 would not recommend. they didnt heal right. go to the doctor for broken bones#anyway wish me luck ya boys getting some xrays and maybe an ultrasound lets fucking gooooo
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