#just wish I wasnt miserable all the time. I need to get a grip.... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zmayadw · 3 years

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Hello to all!

I've been sick as hell for a week, and finaly started to feel a bit better today.

So, finaly got the strenght to post new part of the story.

Wish you all a good week, take care and stay healthy! :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 24

„'Morning.“ I said smiling, peeping from under the covers. Jake tured to me from his laptop „Good morning, angel.“ He said smiling back. „Did you sleep well?“ „I did.“ I said, getting up and stretching. „I actually don't remember the last time I slept so well.“ He grinned „Good.“ I looked arround the room, the absence of my favourite scent leaving me confused. „No coffee?“ I asked, and he looked serious at me „No, I'm affraid.“ „Oh.“ I said disappointed, draging my feet towards the bathroom, mumbling curses under my breath. I was at the doors when he said „I actually thought we could go to town for coffee.“ I turned to him surprised „You did?“ „Mhm.“ He said „It's a nice morning, would be a shame to spend it inside.“ He grinned, and I looked at him inquirely, leaning on the doorframe and crossing my arms „Really?“ „Yes.“ He said and I raised my brow at him „And that's the only reason?“ He laughed shaking his head „All right, you caught me. I do have an ulterior motive for it.“ „Yeah, I figured that out already.“ I said and grinned „All right, so out with it.“ Now he grinned „Patience, angel.“ I laughed „Are we playing that game again?“ „We are, and we both know who will win.“ He said and grinned even more „Again.“ I chuckled shaking my head. „Fine. But just so you know, one day I will find out how to break your winning streak.“ I said to him all serious. „Is that a threat?“ he asked teasingly. „No“ I said, detaching from the doorframe , mischievous smile on my face „It's a promise. And I always keep my promises.“

„Better now?“ Jake asked looking at me with a raised eyebrow, as I took a big sip of my coffee sighing happily. „Better now.“ I hummed cheerfuly back at him. He chuckled leaning back in the chair. „You know, I wonder what would happen if you'd go a day without coffee.“ „Oh, god, don't.“ I said and shuddered at the though of it „That would definitely NOT be a good day.“ He laughed hard at it. „Well then, I'll let you enjoy the rest of your coffee in peace.“ He said getting up. „Right, the 'ulterior motive'.“ I said grinning at him. He smiled and leaned to me for a kiss. „I wont be long.“ „Don't worry, you're leaving me in a good company.“ I said taking another big sip of coffee and grinning at him, and he shook his head at me as he walked away. With him gone, I took my phone out to check some things online, enjoying my coffee and the warmth of the sun. I was casually scrolling through some pictures slouched in the chair, when someone blocked the sun from me. I looked up annoyed by it, and was surprised at seeing the person in front of me. „Hello, Maya.“ I straightened in my chair. The bruise on his face was still a bit visible. „Hello, Phil.“ I said with indifferent voice. „You're still pissed at me, I see.“ He said and I looked at him rising my eyebrow. „You think?“ „All right, I deserve that.“ He said. „Can I join you?“ „Not sure that's a good idea“ I said „Jake will be back shortly, and I doubt he would be thrilled at seeing you.“ „You know what? I don't care.“ He said pulling the chair and sitting across from me. „Suit yourself.“ I said leaning back in mine. „So, how are you?“ he asked lighting up a cigarette. „Really, Phil?“ I asked sarcastically „Small talk?“ He sighed desperatly, exhaling the cigarette smoke „Damn it, Maya, cut me some slack here.“ „You're kidding me, right?“ I asked surprised „After what you did, you expect me to go easy on you?“ „Hey, I was the one who ended up on the floor, so yes.“ He said and grinned. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him. „And I am trying to apologise here.“ „It's not just me that you need to apologise to, Phil.“ I said. „I know that.“ He started „But with you first, I have a less chance of ending up with a new bruise.“ „Oh, I wouldn't be so confident about it if I was you.“ I said with a smirk. He laughed „ I knew I wasn't wrong about you.“ „What's that supposed to mean?“ I asked a bit defensively. „Relax, gorgeous.“ He said, and I looked at him warningly. „Sorry, old habbits.“ He said and grinned. „All right, Phil“ I said a bit annoyed „So far, all that I heard from you didn't sound remotely close to an apology.“ „Jesus, you really are a tough cookie.“ He said, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray a bit harshly. He looked back at me „I am sorry for what happened.“ He said, and I waited a little for him to continue, but he said nothing. „That's it?“ I asked surprised. „This has to be the lousiest apology I have ever heard.“ „Damn it, Maya, what do you want from me?“ he said, his voice starting to sound insecure. He took out another cigarette, lighting it up. „Well, a bit more then a simple 'sorry' was what I expected, to be honest.“ I said. He shook his head at me „You really can't comprehend it, can you?“ Now I got confused „What are you talking about?“ „You think this is easy for me?“ he said almost hissing it. „I was really into you, Maya, and I guess I still am. Belive me, I tried to move on, but dam it, you are not easy to let go off.“ I held my breath a this words. „And then the two of you parade in front of my eyes all happy and shit, and you expect me to just be ok with it?“ I didn't know if he wanted me to answer, but I could't say a word, feeling a knot in my throath. He laughed then „It's funny, you know“ he said „I always laughed at guys like that, thought of them as weak, whining about a girl that got away.“ He looked me in the eyes, his own with a sad touch in them, my heart squeezing at the sight of it. „How ignorant was I.“ I felt awful, his words hit hard at me. I never gave much thought of it all after we talked back then, when he assured me he

will be fine. But hearing all this from him now... „Phil“ I said softly, reaching for his hand, but he pulled it away before I had a chance to do it „Don't.“ He said sighing „And don't look at me liket that, please.“ „I'm sorry, Phil.“ I said and he laughed surprised „You are apologising to me now?“ „Yes“ I said „I had no clue how this all might be for you, I never wanted for any of this to happen. I really am sorry I made you feel this way.“ „Excellent, now I fell like even a bigger wimp.“ He said defeated. „Don't say that“ I said, reaching for his hand again, and this time he didn't pull it away. He looked at me. „I don't find you weak, or think of you being a wimp. It takes a lot of courage to admit what you just did to me.“ I said and squeezed his hand tight. He shook his head at me „You are really not making it any easier for me like this.“ I smiled awkwardly at him, moving my hand away „Sorry.“ I said, not knowing what more to say. I slouched sadly in my chair. „Don't worry, gorgeous.“ He siad and I looked at him. „I'll be fine, eventually.“ I smiled „I'm sure you will, Phil.“ „So“ he started, clearing his throath „Are we good now?“ „We are, as far as I'm concerned.“ I said and smiled. „Excellent!“ he said and grinned. He chuckled „Huh, I guess the hard part is done now.“ I chuckled back, but he got serious then, straightening in his chair. „Or was it?“ he said, and I looked confused at him, when I felt an arm on my shoulder „Everything all right here?“ I looked up, Jake staring intensly at Phil. I saw tension in his jawline, so I quickly covered his hand with mine „Everything is fine.“ He looked at me and I smiled reassuringly. „If you say so.“ He said, sitting down next to me, turning his look back to Phil. „So, to what do we owe the pleasure of your company?“ Jake asked him witha a bit of a menacing tone, taking my hand in his. Phil looked at Jake, a mixture of emotions on his face, and I felt a squeez at my heart again, so I quickly said „Phil was actually apologising for what happened.“ He looked at me, his eyes grateful for not making him say the words himself to Jake, and i smiled. „And I accepted his apology, from us both.“ I said, and Jake turned to me rising his eyebrow „Really?“ „Yes, really. I knew you would agree with me eitherway.“ I said, flashing him with the most charming smile I could make, knowing he wont be able to contradict me. „Don't tell me I was wrong?“ i said making a bit sad face, and he smiled at me „No, angel, you wer not.“ I smiled back at him, turning to Phil „Great, so that's settled then. Let bygones be bygones?“ I grinned, looking from Phil to Jake, until both reluclantly mumbled under their breaths something that sounded like 'fine' and 'sure'. „All right“ Phil said after a moment getting up „I'll be off now.“ Jake said nothing but I smiled at him „Take care, Phil. See you arround.“ He smiled back „ See you arround.“ He made a few steps, when he turned and walked back. „I just want to tell you one more thing, loverboy.“ He said, nad I tensed. His tone wasnt friendly at all, and I felt Jake tensing too, squeezing my hand tighter. „You better take care of her really good.“ He said his voice threatening. „Because, if anything happens to her, you better run, and fast. Before I can get my hands on you.“ He looked at me and winked before turning around and walking away casually. I just stared speechless after him. „Did he...just threatened me?“ Jake asked surprised, his grip to my hand relaxing. „It did sound that way.“ I said serious, but I was laughing inside at it. „He is aware that I don't have to use any physical force to make his life miserable, right?“ he said, and I turned to him. He was grinning devilishly still staring after Phil. „What ever diabolical thoughts are crossing your mind at the moment, disperse them.“ I said. „I have no idea what you're talking about.“ He said turning to me, trying to sound ignorant. „Jake, I'm being serious here.“ I said warningly, looking at him crossly „Leave Phil alone.“ „Fine.“ He groaned after a moment. „But only because you asked so

'nicely'.“

„So, are you finally gonna tell me where you went earlier?“ I asked him as we walked back to the motel. He looked sideways at me „Hmm, I could keep you on edge for a while more.“ „Oh, you're just being evil now!“ I protested and he laughed. „All right, all right. You have been really patiente, so here.“ He said, reaching to his back pocket handing me an envelope. I slowed my steps opening the envelope, and stopped when I saw what was in it. He stopped after a few more steps turning to me, and I ran and jumped to hug him. „Thank you, thank you, thank you!“ He chuckled „You're welcome, angel.“ I moved from him grinning „Are you really gonna endure watching an almost two hours long 'chick' movie with me?“ „If it makes you happy, yes.“ He said and smiled. I gave him a quick kiss „Thank you for this, really.“ I said as we started walking again. „It's something a normal couple would do.“ He laughed „ We definitely don't fall under that category.“ He hugged me with one hand „But you know, I will get a bit jelous, with you dreamily staring at the screen at Chris Hemsworth, with me sitting right next to you.“ „Oh, you dont have to get jelous“ I said grinning at him „After all, you will be the one I'll be going home with after.“

„I'm bored.“ Jake groaned, throwing himself on the bed next to me, my drawing pad jumping from my lap from it. „I can see that.“ I chuckled at him, taking my headphones off. „I have a great idea how you can help me with that.“ He grinned, burrying his face to my neck, leaving soft kisses. „Oh, as much as I like where this is going“ I said, reluctantly pushing him away „But I really need to finish with this before we go to the cinema.“ „You can be so cruel sometimes.“ He said, dramaticaly throwing his head on the pillow. I laughed, reaching for my phone that started to ring. „Hey, Jessy.“ I answered. „Hey, Maya.“ She said „Hope I'm not bothering you.“ „Ofcourse not, what's up?“ I asked. „Well, I'm actually calling to see if Jake is with you.“ she said, and I turned to look at him „He is.“ I said, and he looked confused at me. „Great. Is he bussy at the moment?“ she asked, and I grinned at him „Nop, he's not bussy at all.“ He made a face at me, and I chuckled silently. „What's happening, Jessy?“ „Oh, the end of the world is happening!“ she exclimed desperatly. „All right, calm down and explain.“ I said to her, trying not to laugh, knowing how Jessy can be overdramatic sometimes. „Calm down?!“ she boomed form the other side „I can't, Maya! I need some important things from my laptop for tomorrow for work, and it just started to act weird on me a minute ago! I can't do anything on it, I'm desperate.“ „Oh, thats not good, indeed.“ I said symphathetically. „Would you like me to send Jake over to take a look at it?“ „That would be great.“ She said hopefully „He really wouldn't mind coming?“ „Ofcourse not, Jessy.“ I said „He is bored, and I do have some work to do, so you are actually doing me a favore with draging him out of here.“ I grinned again at him, and he threw a pillow at me. „Yay, thank you so much!“ she said cheerfully „Tell him he can come over whenever he feels like it.“ „No worries, Jessy. He will be there shortly.“ „Thank you again, Maya. Talk to you soon.“ „Bye, Jessy.“ I putted the phone away, turning back to him grinning again. „There, now you have something to do.“ „Yeah, yeah.“ He said, getting up from the bed. „I get the hint.“ „Awww, dont be sulky.“ I said teasingly, coming to him, putting my hands arround his neck. „I'm almost done with my work, so if you finish fast with Jessys laptop, we might still have time for some fun before we have to go.“ He smiled mischievous at me „Oh, you just gave me a motivation to be fast with it.“ „Good“ I said kissing him. „Now, off you go, I'll be right here waiting eagerly.“

I was done with work after Jake left sooner then I expected, so I decided to take a quick shower. When done, I got dressed and I took my laptop sitting at the desk, finding some entertainment online to pass the time. My phone beeped with a new message, so I took it and smiled as I opened the chat.

Jake: Almost done here

Maya: That was really fast :P

Jake: You did gave me a motivation for it :P

Maya: And you weren't kidding about it :D

Jake: I never joke when that's in question ;)

Maya: Haha, I'll keep that in mind :)

Jake: See you soon, angel :)

Maya: Can't wait :)

The movie doesn't start before 9pm, and it was not even 7pm yet, so we still had plenty of time. I continued to browse stuff online, finding an interesting documentary to watch. I got so into it, when a knock at the door surprised me, making me jump in the chair. I turned to the doors, shaking my head at the sight of the keys sticking from the lock. I closed the laptop and got up, walking to the doors with a smile. I opened the doors grinning, ready with a witty comment on the subject of forgetfulness, the grin from my face dissapearing as i saw the person standing in front of me was not Jake. „Good evening, Miss Cole.“ I stared at the face of the unknow man, and the feeling of dread started to crawl at me. As I continued to look at thim, I thought there was something familiar about him to me, but i couldn't quite realize what. „I'm sorry“ I said, trying to hide the fear from my voice „Do I know you?“ „Not really.“ the man said, as the sinister smile formed on his lips. „But I tought the time has come for me to properly introduce myself.“

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood phil #duskwood jessy

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blarrghe · 3 years

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“Wrapping arms around them when they make breakfast” Dorian x Anders, because I imagine Dorian has NEVER had a lover make him breakfast before (and Anders probably as a cat-shaped waffle iron)

Ok, as much as I love “his boyfriend makes him breakfast and it breaks Dorian” I also like, JUST did that over in my pavellan fic. It was very sweet and all, but consider: neither of these men are functional adults so who the hell is making breakfast? Still, got Anders his waffles. Anyway this directly sequels the last one again, because I’m using prompts to generate this story now I guess, and I’m really invested in this slow burn friends-to-lovers angsty mess now, so this got super long. I’m gonna start posting this as a series on AO3 I think -- also taking title suggestions XD. Thanks for dragging me into this hell :’) Here’s Breakfast:

He told himself that he was just coming along to keep an eye on him. A designated driver of sorts, just one without a car, or driver’s license, for that matter. He showed Dorian to the bar across the street and ordered himself a glass of water while Dorian asked for “the worst swill you have", with a rather large tip slapped on the bartop. He was handed something astringent smelling in a foggy glass, downed it in one quick backwards toss of his head — arching his neck, snapping back again with a shudder — and then he asked to have the bottle.

Dorian took two more shots before he spoke. “Did you know that there was an author, horror novelist, whose mother disapproved so wholly of her marriage that after she died, she and her husband took their revenge by having sex right on her grave?”

So. This was going to be an interesting evening. “I did know that, actually.” Anders said.

“I’m rather a fan of hers, of her work, I mean.” he took another shot, “and of her misbehaviours. Only, do you think it would be too gouache, seeing as it’s already been done?”

Anders coughed. “Because if it hadn’t been, it wouldn’t be?”

Dorian shrugged, and took a fourth shot. Maker, he’d finish the bottle within half an hour, at this rate.

“I’m a fan of hers too,” Anders attempted to steer the conversation into something somewhat more...appropriate, “of her work.” He was also a fan of the story, but maybe not at this particular moment.

“Oh?”

Anders took a sip of his water, and signalled to the bartender to put a water glass in front of Dorian, too. “I tend to enjoy stories about misunderstood monsters,” he shrugged.

“Me too.” Dorian ignored the water glass in favour of shot number five. “Of course, she was married to a like-minded soul, I’d have to find myself a willing participant.”

“Strange thing to put into your dating app profile,” Anders agreed. Dark humour came easy — though he wasn’t entirely sure it was a good idea.

“Mm. Man seeking man to fuck on father’s grave, must be willing to break cemetary locks and city bylaws. Risk of haunting, serious inquiries only.”

Anders tried to stifle his laugh. Man seeking man, though. No. Nope. Very terrible idea.

“I don’t suppose you’d be game?”

Anders coughed again, his cheeks flaring up, and shook his head. “I — uh — I think that must be against...one of my oaths.” he stuttered, still flushing.

Dorian took yet another shot, which made six. What in the world was he made of? "Yes I suppose it must be. Or should be, at any rate." His cheeks were a bit flushed too, even in the dim light, but just from the alcohol; evidently the man had no concept of shame, because next he said, "well, it was worth a shot."

Speaking of shots. "Water," Anders instructed, moving the water glass closer to Dorian, "you should drink some water."

"Yes doctor." Dorian obliged, taking the glass to his mouth but raking his eyes up and down Anders as he drank down the entire thing. Anders just kept on blushing.

"I take it you and your father didn't get along?" It probably wasn't the right question to ask the recently bereaved, but he'd nearly failed that psych 101 course he'd taken in first year, and it was a step away from morbid propositions. Void, where was Merrill when he needed her?

"You met him, didn't you?" Dorian raised an eyebrow, and with quickly failing coordination, poured himself one more shot, while spilling enough to fill another over the bartop. Anders grabbed a napkin, while Dorian threw his shot back without seeming to notice. "My father hated me." He said, once he'd swallowed.

Tear soaked apologies and an alcohol soaked "celebration" of his death. Anders felt something in the pit of his stomach plummet that was quite removed from the growing pangs of hunger his measly lunch — a granola bar five hours ago — had left him with.

"I'm sure he didn't —" Dorian stopped him with an ice cold look, intimidating even as he swayed in his seat. Anders frowned, there had been something in that psych course about not sharing your own traumatic experiences with a patient, even if they were relatable. Muddies the waters of who's caretaking who, or gives them ideas, or makes you look crazy too, so they lose confidence, but — "mine did, too." He gave Dorian's arm a tentative pat, and waved the bartender down for a refill of water. Dorian drank it without prompting this time, but his eyes watched Anders again, waiting for more. "Or he must've, got rid of me quick enough."

"Ah," Dorian leaned back, a little too far, Anders tensed to catch him in case he started to fall, "then I'm an ass. Sorry."

"No, you're —" Dorian swayed back forward with a bit of a jolt, like he'd forgotten how to stop and needed to grip the bartop to keep level. He reached for the bottle again, and Anders shot a hand out to grab it first. Their hands met, Dorian's falling on top of his over the bottle, and then in an instant Dorian's flew away again. "You're drunk." Anders said.

"Yes," Dorian agreed, "marvelous." He went back to the water, then cast Anders' hand, still on the bottle, a hopeful look. "Though not to the point where I won't remember any of this miserable day, yet."

Anders raised an eyebrow, and kept his hand on the bottle.

"Not that I'm saying I wish to forget you," Dorian's eyes were pleading with him, glossy as they were, "you've been rather kind, really, it's just…" when Anders still didn't release the bottle, he groaned. Then he straightened out his face again, a mask of sensibility that was barely holding: "I'm afraid you aren't seeing me at my best, doctor Anders."

"Just Anders." Maker, but the sadness behind it all was killing him. You're heart's too soft, Anders, he scolded himself.

"Anders, then. Quite the name."

"More a point of origin." Anders explained with a shrug.

"Yes, the hair rather gives you away. And the complexion." He reached out and slipped two of his long fingers through a strand of Anders' strawberry hair, which was falling in a straggled mess about his temples. Anders flinched, pulling his head back, and Dorian frowned apologetically. "Pretty. You're very pretty." He said. Anders shook his head and rolled his eyes — the man was drunk — but blushed again.

"It's what the circle gave me," Anders explained the name with another shrug. He wasnt entirely sure why he was volunteering so much personal information to this perfect stranger. Perhaps he felt it was owed, after witnessing the death of the man's father, and all he'd overheard. Or maybe it was those eyes...

"Oh." Another apologetic frown, "and you ran away to Tevinter? Well, you wouldn't be the first." Anders nodded. "Where from?"

Anders chuckled dryly, "Kirkwall, most recently."

"Oof." Dorian grunted a drunken sound of disgust, and Anders chuckled again, "how in the world do you manage not to drink?"

Anders’ laugh grew stronger, he shook his head and took another sip of his water, while Dorian redirected his attention once more to the bottle still protected by his hand, as though just now remembering his plight. "One more, I promise I'll be good." He begged.

"Speaking as a doctor, I think you've had enough."

"I thought you were off duty."

"You're going to make yourself sick."

"Then it's lucky I'm with a doctor."

Anders sighed, and poured him one more slightly scant shot. Dorian frowned at the way the alcohol didn't reach the rim of the glass, but threw it back with a grateful sigh.

“Can I call you a cab, Dorian?” Anders offered, watching worriedly as Dorian gave his head a dramatic shake and swayed a little more back and forth. The bar was emptying out, and last call was coming upon them. He cast a glance at the old watch ticking away on his wrist, mentally calculating how long it would be until he could be at home, in his bed. Not that he minded keeping the miserable man company, quite the opposite, despite everything. He had a pull to him Anders couldn’t quite explain; the eyes again, probably. But the bus came once an hour at this time of night, and didn’t stop at the closer stop, just the well-lit main hub that lay several blocks from his apartment — another fifteen minutes of walking after he got off, so a good hour or more to get home, altogether, if he left now.

“Is it that time already?” Dorian sounded disappointed, spinning the empty shot glass around on the bar, then with a sudden spark of concern in his eyes he turned his face to Anders, “I’ve kept you too long, haven’t I? How dreadfully selfish of me, I —” he was sputtering a rather pitiful apology, and Anders’ stomach fell again at the sight of it.

“It’s alright,” he said gently, muscle memory finding the soft smile he used for giving bad news to patients, “your father died today, you don’t have to apologize to me.”

“Yes, father died…” Dorian got a far-off look in those cold eyes of his, and then directed them back at his empty glass, “and you — you had to, I mean, here I am wasting your time when you must be — selfish —” all at once, his face crumpled, and the guilty muttering gave way to tears. Shit.

Anders patted his back once, carefully, and Dorian seemed to utterly collapse under his touch, sobbing into the sticky countertop. Anders took a deep breath, and dragged him up again. He tossed a tip of his own onto the bar as the bartender shot them an aggravated look, and hauled Dorian away, draping his arms over his shoulders. Dorian slumped into him, heavy, hunched over, still crying, as Anders pushed through the door of the bar and into the balmy night air, awash with the putrid stench of dumpsters in the alley and the sick coughed up by the bar’s less restrained patrons. It all made him a little homesick. Dorian, hanging halfway off of him, lurched forward like he was about to add his own mess to the stink in the alley, but then he righted himself again, and propped himself up using Anders’ shoulder. Anders took the opportunity to pull out his phone.

“Where am I sending you?” he asked helpfully. Dorian made another face that seemed to threaten that he was about to be sick.

“I’m not going back there,” he muttered, less to Anders than to the ground. He wiped at his eyes and sniffed. “Just help me find my car?”

“You can’t drive.”

“I’ll sleep in it — I left it in the lot.”

“No.”

Dorian pushed himself off of Anders, propelling himself away from his shoulder, and staggered forward a step. Then he seemed to change his mind, or realise he was in no state to walk on his own, and reached an arm out to fall back against the wall of the alley.

“No?” He asked, incredulous as Anders took his arm and draped it back over himself, walking them out of the alley and the stink.

“I’m not letting you sleep in your car,” Anders shook his head as he dragged the man forward. He was heavier than he looked. Strong, too, if the grip on his shoulder was any indication. “Besides, I can’t risk leaving you in a vehicle, if you did something stupid that would be on me.”

Dorian snorted, “do you think I’m stupid?”

“I don’t know you well enough to judge.” Anders answered honestly, which seemed to amuse Dorian.

“I’m not stupid.” he said, “very, very smart, actually.” he insisted. Anders nodded appreciatively.

“Alright then, so you see why I can’t just leave you in the hospital parking lot, in your condition.”

“Mm. Kind of you, but I can think of worse places.” So could Anders, but he shuddered to think what could happen to Dorian if he left him alone like this, drunk and stumbling and wearing the most expensive looking suit he’d ever seen; he’d already flashed his overstuffed wallet far too openly when ordering his drinks inside. “Is there a hotel? I could buy a hotel.” Dorian slurred.

Anders was fairly certain he’d forgotten a word in his suggestion, but given the suit and the wallet, maybe not. Before Anders could answer, he lurched forward and away from him again, back towards the alley, and into a spasming sort of crouch, retching.

Anders took an instinctive step back as Dorian gagged and sputtered out a vomit of mostly liquid and bile onto the broken stone of the alleyway, then remembered his physician’s training, and rushed forward to steady him. Between coughs, Dorian swore, and when he finished (miraculously, his suit and shoes were still unharmed), he began to cry again. Anders sighed, and once more feeling a little bit homesick, he breathed out an all too familiar refrain: “well, shit.” he said.

“Not —” Dorian was stuttering apologetically at him now, “not my best.” He wiped at his tears, swore again, then got up from his crouch and began to stumble forward once more, heading the wrong way down the alley. Anders took him by the shoulders and led him out again.

“Hotel?” The word smushed out of him with so much drunken misery that Anders felt almost like crying for him, and he sighed again, pulling out his phone.

“I’m taking you home,” he dialed the number and gave the taxi company their location, then propped Dorian up against the wall of the bar that faced the street, rather than the alley, keeping an eye on his paling face and shaky breathing.

“What, your home?"

Anders nodded, “if you choke on your vomit and die in your hotel room, I’ll feel responsible,” he explained as Dorian looked up at him with a perplexed, and dare he say it, even eager look.

“Very kind of you, doctor Anders.” he said, but before Anders could correct him on the honorific again, he stooped and threw up, so doctor Anders it was.

——

Dorian all but fell asleep in the taxi, head drooping down into his chest, swaying this way and that as the car rounded the corners, but thankfully he kept from throwing up any more. The luck didn’t hold once they were inside Anders’ apartment though, and soon Anders had him steadied in a kneel over his toilet bowl, getting out the rest of it. Dorian flung most of his clothes off before throwing up this time, wrestling himself out of the suit jacket and tight shirt beneath it, while Anders tried not to be impressed. He had a really remarkable physique, but he was also lurching and coughing miserably into Anders’ toilet, so it was definitely not something to admire. Then he got him onto the couch, set a large bowl on the floor by his head, and coaxed him into one more glass of water before letting him lie down. Dorian offered him another tearful apology, and then tearful thanks, and then he passed out. Anders sat back in a chair across from him for a while, watching as his breathing slowed to a steady rise and fall, ensuring that his head was turned to the side, mouth facing the bowl, in case he was to vomit any more in his sleep, and then he finally, finally, stumbled his own way to bed.

He woke to the sound of his cupboards banging shut and the kettle screeching to a whistle.

Anders stumbled out into his kitchen to find Dorian standing there with a distraught look on his face, pouring water into two large mugs. He was dressed again, and looking remarkably perfect, actually. Hair all in place and posture all upright once more. The bowl was gone from the floor, too, and nothing smelled off — just a little like tea.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, suddenly aware of his own shabby pajamas.

Dorian turned, still looking distraught. "You don't have any food." He complained, "I fed your cat —" Anders looked down to the corner of the kitchen where Ser Pounce's food bowl was, and found Ser Pounce there happily nibbling from a bowl filled to slightly too full, "I hope that's alright. I woke up with him on my chest and he wouldn't stop pawing at that cabinet so I figured…"

Anders smiled softly, and not in a practiced way, he'd entirely forgotten to check the food bowl when they came in the night before, occupied as he'd been.

"And then I saw you had a coffee pot, so I was going to make coffee, as a thank you — well, actually, I was going to have some delivered, but I don't rightly know where I am —" Dorian ran a hand through his hair, and he was talking quite speedily, cheeks going just slightly pink "but you don't have coffee. Or anything."

Now Anders blushed, embarrassed for the nakedness of his cupboards.

"Anyway, thank you. Tea?"

Anders nodded, and took the few remaining steps to the counter to grab one of the mugs of still steeping tea; he liked to keep the bag in. He moved from the counter to the couch, cupping the mug with both hands, and sat down.

"117 Orseck Ave.," he said, "that's where you are. How are you feeling… how much of last night do you remember?"

"I remember making a fool of myself, if that's what you're asking. And you being uncommonly kind." He paused, "it is Anders, right?" Anders nodded, "is there anything else I should remember, Anders?"

Anders shook his head, "that about sums it up."

Dorian chuckled. When he wasn't drunk or crying, it was a nice sound. He leaned against Anders' counter — stunning, how was he stunning after a night like the one he'd just had? "Well, you've certainly wasted enough of your time looking after me, and I can get out of your hair now, but —"

"— I wouldn't call it a waste of time," Anders interrupted, because something in him always seemed to speak up whenever Dorian went about making statements like that. It kind of had been a waste of his time, Anders tried to protest against that something, he'd lost a great deal of sleep to it, anyway. But somehow the look that his interruption gained him from Dorian was impossible to remain grumpy with.

"Have you been to Marc's?" Dorian asked suddenly, brightening with a hopeful smile, "since I know where we are now, and its nearby, and you have no food," he went on, "and personally, I'm starving —"

"I imagine you would be," Anders said, though at the mention of hunger his own stomach took the opportunity to awaken too, noisily. Dorian raised an eyebrow at the sound.

"Might I buy you breakfast? I feel I owe you that much."

Anders hadn't been to Marc's. He'd been by it many times, a busy little brunch place, always smelling of bacon and pancakes and with a line out the door. It was a bad idea to say yes to this, he thought, a bad idea to say yes to anything involving absurdly handsome men who just lost their fathers, who were obviously walking disasters waiting to happen (you always had a thing for disasters waiting to happen) — shush. His stomach grumbled again.

"I haven't been," Anders answered, "there's always a line — and I am on call, I might not have time to —"

"Oh, we can skip all that." Dorian brushed the protest aside, "so? Don't try to tell me you aren't hungry."

Anders kicked at a bit of cat hair fluff adorning the edge of his couch, "alright, sure."

Dorian was certainly good at getting him to say yes to things he should know better than to say yes to. If he kept going on like this, the next thing he knew he'd be having sex on his father's grave.

----

They arrived at the restaurant, just a short walk from Anders' building, and yet in a considerably nicer part of town — the new money was creeping in towards his end of things, but where he lived at least was still very much no money — and Dorian walked straight up to the front of the line. Anders hung back, watching skeptically as Dorian performed a series of intricate maneuvers: some charm, a smile, a handshake Anders recognized from Varric — the kind with a bill snuck inside — and then he turned, waving Anders over.

"We can wait ten minutes for a table, or have our food prepared now and take it outside. Your choice." He smiled. Maker, such a good smile; straight teeth and a brilliantly white gleam. "But you're on call, right? And to be honest with you, the fresh air is making me feel considerably less queasy. Park across the street?" Anders nodded and shrugged at the same time, a gesture that seemed to satisfy Dorian into continuing to take charge of the situation. "Alright then, to go. And fast, if you can. We're both very busy and important." He winked at the young hostess as he was handed two paper menus, and Anders could have sworn she blushed brighter than the checkerboard red on the apron she wore. "What do you fancy?" Dorian asked him, handing over one of the papers.

It was diner food, but not really. Poached eggs with house-smoked bacon over an heirloom tomato coulis, waffles with Orlesian creme sauce and glazed berries, rare wheat pancakes with apple cinnamon compote and vanilla syrup — just a few options, all of them coming with a detailed list of decadent flavours. In addition to those few confounding main courses was a fresh juice list filled with exotic fruits Anders had never even heard of, and approximately twenty different kinds of coffee.

"Uh, waffles?" He said, squinting at the menu, "waffles and coffee?"

Dorian beamed some more, and took back his menu to point out the waffle dish, as well as several other things, confidently ordering far more food than could possibly be necessary as well as coffee and one of the strange fruit juices while insisting that Anders simply had to try it. The patient employee nodded and hurried away, and not ten minutes later came back with two plastic bags stuffed near splitting with cardboard containers, and a tray of drinks. Dorian thanked her with another winning smile and secretly-funded handshake, and then they were off.

The park across the street had benches, so they sat on one — finding one in the shade of a great, leafy tree, as even the morning sun was warm. Then, Dorian began a conversation, and the whole thing was far less awkward than Anders had expected. Dorian asked about his work, so Anders described some of it, though he avoided anything too close to topics of death and dying, and Dorian held his gaze while he talked and asked compelling questions. He seemed to be, as claimed, very smart, and the food was practically otherworldly. Then Anders asked Dorian about his work in turn, and Dorian sighed.

"Well, you're new here, aren't you? How much do you know about Tevinter politics? The intricacies of it all can take a lifetime to wrap one's head around. That's by design; keeps things all tied up with the upper classes who have it in their blood to be intollerable bureaucrats." His air was flippant, but altogether disapproving, which Anders appreciated.

"I've been here a while now, actually. A couple of years, anyway, I understand it a bit. Political science was always my…'' downfall? "Second passion." He washed down a heaping forkful of creme covered waffles made of pure fairy dust and clouds with whatever exciting fruit drink Dorian had handed him — it tasted like bright green, with a hint of citrus. "I feel people should be informed — active. Healthcare is as political as it is practical." And mage freedom, that was political too, but they didn't have to get into that. Mages were already free in Tevinter. Other kinds of people, however — something bitter bit at the back of his mind. But it was too sunny, and the food too good, for that sort of conversation.

Dorian nodded approvingly, his eyes lighting up. "Alright then, I'm an Altus. I argue things in circles in the house a lot, these days I've been losing all sorts of friends arguing this Sopperati electorate reformation bill," Anders' eyes widened, impressed. He'd been following the progress of it, a huge step for increased class equality, if it passed. So maybe it was just sunny enough for such a conversation. "but of course it can only go so far without approval from the Magisterium," Dorian went on, a slight growl of frustration colouring his tone, which was appealing in a different way, "and for that we need to convince those with seats in the — in the —'' he stopped, and some of the light fell from his eyes. "I just remembered that my father is dead." He said. Shit. Not a sunny conversation, after all. "His seat passes to me, you see, because nepotism still runs stronger than good sense and he's written my name into all these continuations of his legacy and…" he sighed, and stabbed hard at a piece of brilliantly poached egg, which honestly didn't deserve it, "sorry. It's going to be a very hectic and difficult few weeks, with all the ceremony and paperwork and the whole ordeal of burying him…" he scooped up some of his bleeding egg yolk with a wedge of toast, and went silent in favour of eating, while Anders took an uncomfortable sip of juice that seemed to have lost some of its vividness. "You've been here for years, you said?" Dorian changed the subject, refocusing on Anders. Anders nodded, still awkwardly sucking up juice through the straw of his cup. "I would have sworn you were an escapee fresh from the harbour."

"Why?" Anders bristled a little.

"Your apartment. You have no food or furniture," Anders bristled a little more, "and you've never been to Marc's", Anders frowned, furrowing his brow at the impossibly good, impossibly expensive waffles, "and you're too nice." Dorian finished. Anders looked up in surprise, catching Dorian's eye. They were still a bit lost for light, but soft on him.

"I'm just very busy," Anders shrugged. And very poor, but, well, Dorian probably thought anyone with fewer than a thousand acres of family land was poor, given his status. He didn't need to know the extent of it.

"Hm," Dorian's eyes were still on him, soft and thoughtful, "what else haven't you done?" Anders shrugged, and Dorian began listing things. Tourist attractions and famed galleries, but also other, lesser-known offerings of the city that Anders had never even heard of.

"Ferry through the archipelegos?"

"No."

"The volcanic sand beaches?"

"No."

"Dinner at the top of Tidarion Tower?"

"No."

And on like that, until he finally said yes to something — taking in a show at the infamous burlesque playhouse in the city's red light district, which elicited an eyebrow raise.

"Priorities, I see." Dorian chuckled, "at least you have good taste." He reached an arm up over Anders' side of the bench, as he finished with his food and slid the box away, very smooth. "I'd have offered to take you. Maybe one of the others sometime, then, if you've a mind." He suggested. Anders could feel his cheeks beginning to run hot again. Still a bad idea, he reminded himself. Apparently sensing his unease, Dorian removed his arm from its perch near Anders' shoulders. "May I say something painfully honest?" he asked.

Anders swallowed, but he managed a smirk as he replied. "I think we're well past that," he said.

Dorian shook his head with a dry chuckle, "yes, well. I'm all out of sorts, as you may have noticed."

Anders chuckled too, but with him, not at.

"And normally, if I'm to get drunk and go home with a stranger, it all goes a certain way," then he actually winked, which on him was somehow charming and not over the top at all. Anders swallowed again, "and, not that I'm opposed, but, well, as I said: you've been uncommonly kind. I could — I've been losing friends left and right lately, it seems, with this bill, and…"

"I'm a fan of the bill," Anders said, "in fact I'm not sure it goes far enough."

The interruption seemed to lend Dorian some more confidence, as though he needed it, "so, pretty as you may be, I could use a, uh —"

Anders blushed again, but finished for him, "a friend?" He could use one too, if he was being honest. Near everything seemed to be making him homesick, lately.

Dorian nodded. "If that's not too forward." He said.

"You fed my cat," Anders replied, "as far as I'm concerned, we're already friends."

At that, Dorian smiled. He asked Anders his cat's name, and chuckled at the answer, and then they exchanged phone numbers and Anders stuck a little cat next to his own name as he entered it into Dorian's contact screen, which had him laughing even more. Anders offered to put the puking emoji next to Dorian's in return, but he insisted on a snake, because he “had a reputation to uphold”. Then Anders’ pager went off, and he groaned inwardly, wishing he could spend the day in the sun for once.

“Duty calls?”

Anders grimaced, and stood up. “Thanks for breakfast,” he said, meaning it. Dorian stood too.

“You should take the rest — actually, this may be awkard, but I think we’re going the same way.” His car. Of course.

“You’re going to have a small fortune to pay in parking tickets,” Anders realised, frowning.

“Oh that’s fine. I have one of those — big, actually.” he winked again, “very big.” Sweet Maker, he just never stopped.

Dorian insisted on a cab, and then he insisted on paying for it, and then he insisted on Anders taking the rest of their uneaten brunch items to store in the breakroom for his lunch, and then finally he was ready to let him go, with a promise to be in touch. He extended his hand for Anders to shake. Anders took it, holding fast with a sure grip, and then, drawn in yet again by those cool, sad eyes, he pulled Dorian’s arm towards him, and wrapped him up in a tight hug.

Dorian stumbled back afterwards, cheeks flush, eyes glinting with surprise. “What was that for?”

“Just seemed like you needed it,” Anders said.

Dorian was still blushing, and his smile warmed Anders’ own cheeks. “Suppose I did,” he agreed.

“Take care, Dorian.”

“As you say, doctor.”

#dorianders #dorian x anders #my fic #my writing #dorian #anders #modern au #alcohol cw #vomit cw #breakfast #this is too fun help #disaster boys

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comic-nerd-dc · 4 years

Text

Dick Grayson x oc

Uhh I made star fire mean in this one and some sexual references

“And robin, you will take this lovely young lady to her junior prom” moth dude says and shows this annoying blond chick calling him Roby-poo and I stifle a laugh

“And Luominen you will take this young man” he shows us this guy who looks super uncomfortable but he’s actually kinda cute if only he wasnt with the bad guys

“Moth sir, she really doesn’t have to,” he says and I smile

“YES SHE DOES, IT THAT OR THE CITY BURNS” he booms

“One moment please” as we drag Starfire away

“ We can go keep him on end while Star, Cy, BB, and Ray find out what the connection is and save everything,” I say

“And we can keep an eye on each other” robin adds and I smile until star gives in

“Yeah ok well do it,” Robin says

“Ask her!” moth guy says and robin and the video guy start at the same time stop and video guy gets all embarrassed

“Uhh also you should probably know my names Jupitar,” the tv guy says as robin asks kitten is apparently her name

“ see you tonight,” I say and they leave and I pull up the communication device

“Are you guys coming or what?” Cy asks

“We cant star will help you find the connection between these two kid and moth guy ok,” I say and Cy looks confused

“Why aren’t yall coming to help,” Ray asks

“Because Ray we have dates” I smile and robin looks pained

“With each other because, I’ve seen it coming but now isn’t a good time,” BB says and my eyes widen, I’ve always liked Robin, he intelligent, funny, and altogether just hot but he’s never shown any interest in me so I assumed friends was as far as we could go

“BB no bad guys the kids we have to take to prom, and I have to get a dress” I laugh and close the device

“Star go we have the stuff to do” I smile and she flys away I go to change and robin grabs my arm to stop me

“Are you actually happy about this” he accuses

“Look, Rob, I never got to go to my prom, I turned into Luominen and dont get to live my life as s- as me anymore so yeah I’m excited, but he’s not the date I want” I stop after almost revealing myself, I pull my arm and walk away

“I would go get ready if I were you,” I say and finally get to my room, and raid my closet for something ohhhhh this one, I change into the sleeveless red dress I found that accents my curves without looking trashy and it has a slit in the bottom stopping mid-thigh, I do my makeup even though I still have my mask on and curl my hair and put on the heels, I walk to the living room area and think about how I should get there if I should drive or ask robin to take me on the bike I know he will use to get there, no ill just drive, I head to my car when I literally bump into Robin,

“Wow you clean up nice” I smile at him but he doesn’t respond just staring at me I see his eyes go up and down

“Earth to Robin” I wave my hand in front of his face and he shakes his head

“You look wow, uh we should go” he stutters and I smile

“Ohh, I was just leaving I was going to drive but apparently you had other plans” I smile and I can tell he rolled his eyes

“Let’s go” he grabs my hand and leads me to the bike we get on and once we get to the prom a pink limo pulls up

“Ohhhh Roby poo I’m so glad you came as my date to the prom,” the kitten girl says the way to loud wrapping herself around him and then I see Jupiter come around the other side and smile at me

“Hey, wow you look beautiful,” he says and I blush and look down

“Thanks, you dont look to bad yourself” I smile at him

“I'm really sorry about all of this, I never wanted this to happen, I had just mentioned to my sister that I had a minor crush on you and then this happened, I never wanted it to go this way” he smiles and we walk in as robin looks miserable, we get in and I smile,

“Wanna dance, or just look awkward all night,” I ask and he smiles as we go dance

“Why are you being so nice to me,” he asks and I smile

“Well one because your sister is insane, and two because you dont seem to want all of this” I smile as I see a robin and whats her name dance and a small part of me wishes it was me he was with instead until

“Get away from my girl” and the spider dude drops in

“Fang you do care” she squeaks and they kiss

“So we good to go now?” robin asks and she looks at us

“Never, give my brother the night to remember, kiss him or the whole city goes” and I panic as she has the button out, I look at Jupiter and he already has his eyes closed so I suck it up and lean in and close my eyes,

“No” I hear and then I’m kissing him, its actually a really good kiss until I hear a squeak

“That’s the wrong guy you whore” and my eyes snap open to see a robin and we pull away but she clicks the button

“We will talk about that later” I snap and he blushes and we all fight until everyone’s in handcuffs even Jupiter

“What?” he asks and I look at him

“I know you didn't want this but you still went along with it so jail time for you as well,” I say and he looks down but goes willingly

“And this year’s prom queen and king are robin and Luominen” and he looks at me

“I think I have one more dance in me” he smiles and takes my hand

“So what was that,” I ask

“What was what” he pretends to not remember

“Oh I dont know how bout when I went to kiss him you yelled no and jumped in to kiss me instead,” I say

“I uh, was trying to save you and we happened to kiss?” he says as a question

“Uh, huh, so if I went to that prison truck, and kissed him you’d just let me because it was my choice right,” I ask and he nod

“Ok I’m gonna go give him that kiss” I let go of our dance to walk over to him but robins grip on my waist doesn’t allow me to

“Dont, please, why are you so caught up in this anyway,” he asks

“Look robin, I became Luominen at 15, I’m 18 now and I should be having my own prom but because of my powers I can’t even go to school anymore, so I wanted to be normal for tonight, have the dance, and kiss on the dance floor, or at the end of the dance, I wanted my normal night” I look at him and he smiles down at me

“Well I can work that out, I mean you do have a ruggedly handsome superhero here, its a dance floor, I could kiss you,” he says almost shyly

“Robin I can’t do that, because as awkward as it may make this, I’ve always had some feelings for you and if you kissed me again, id fall more for you than I already am, and I know you dont feel that way for me so no,” I say and he lets go of my waist

“Yeah that’s what I thought” and I turned around to walk-off I just decided to walk back to titans tower and was about halfway there when the rain starts pouring down probably my fault as I can create based on my emotions.

“Get on the bike” robin yells but I dont stop walking

“Please Lu just get on the bike” he begs and I look at him

“No, ill walk thanks” I respond

“Please your gonna get sick,” he pulls over and gets off the bike running to me and I dont stop, except when I’m picked up and thrown over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes

“Let me go you asshat” I snap but he just sets me on the bike and gets on and starts driving once we get to the tower, I get off and start to walk inside

“Why are you so mad at me lu, I never even answered you,” he says

“You didn't have to, the way you looked at me the way you instantly let me go, all signs of disgust, dont worry tho I get it, it’s fine but you dont get to act like its normal either anymore, because it’s not and we both know that, and I’m mad because I let myself get there, I let my self fall for you and open up to you knowing you were into Star, knowing I wouldn’t be enough,” I say with tears in my eyes

“I wasnt disgusted honestly you’re beautiful and amazing and anything I could ever want, I was surprised, because here I was falling completely in love with a girl I dont even know her real name, and she took me off guard, also I’m not into Starfire shes just my, friend,” he said and I looked up at him and he kissed me, not the panicked one like before but, slow and hot like he was proving I was the one he wanted when we pulled away

“Sandy” I breathed out

“What” he questions

“My real name,” I say and he smiles, kissing me again but this time he picks me up bridal style bringing me into the tower we are both laughing until we see everyone standing there with pizza and Robin freezes

“Hi guys” I laugh

“Looks like they had their own celebration in mind” Raven laughs and everyone else does but Starfire

“What I do not understand,” she says

“They where probably gonna do the dirty deed, horizontal tango” BB laugh and star looks pissed

“ they would only do that if they were together and they are not together” she snaps

“Uhh yeah actually we are gonna go figure that out, in, my room” Robin rushes out the speeds walks up to his final setting me down

“You never even put me down” I laugh and he blushed

“I panicked ok” he defends

“Oh I bet, at least you picked me up bridal style not another way” I laugh and he smirks

“That was not an invitation” I smile and he fakes a pout

“Oh come onnnnnnnn” he whines and I kiss him

“We do actually need to talk about what we are,” I say and he looked down at me

“What is there to talk about,” he asks

“Are we together, are we not together, are we just messing around that stuff” I add and he smiles pulling me closer as I hadn’t realized I was pacing

“Of course we are together, mine now, and we will definitely be messing around” he winks and I release a sigh of relief and kiss him

“Pardon me the door was open, am I interrupting,” Starfire asks

“No at all, what’s up,” Robin says awkwardly and I mumbled yes under my breath

“Well I felt that before you made her your choice you should know that I also have the romantic feelings for you” she adds and I flop on the bed well it was a nice few minutes while it lasted

“Star that’s sweet, and I’m really sorry but I’m actually really into sa- Luominen,” he says and I punch his shoulder after almost revealing me

“Ouch I didn't” and I smile

“Oh I see, however, am I not prettier than she is, she is not as good as me, so why choose her,” Star asks and I look down, she’s right, how could I ever compare

“What did you say” he snaps and her eyes go wide and I instantly go to stop him

“Robin no it’s fine honestly” I grab his arm but he shakes me off

“Get out,” he says almost to calm

“GET OUT” he yells at her when she doesn’t leave, she then jumps out and he slams the door on her

“Robin what was that, it’s not like shes super wrong,” I ask he doesn’t answer just grabs me and pulls me into a very hard kiss when he finally pulls away I’m hurrying for a breath

“She’s right, you aren’t as good as her, your better, and also its Dick,” he says and my eyes widen

“Really that’s the card your puling now, you want to have sex?” I snap as I pull away from him and he busts out laughing

“Why are you laughing,” I ask confused

“Babygirl, Dick is my name, short for Richard,” he says with a huge smile on his face and I turn red

“I-i'm so, I’m so, I’m so sorry,” I say and he just laughs pulling me into him wrapping his arms around me

“Sandy it’s fine, that was by far the cutest misread of my name ever tho” he smiles and I hide in his chest

“I'm so sorry Dick,” I say again as he laughs

“I'm serious dont be,” he says and I smile up at him again and kiss him when there’s a knock at his door I move away from his death grip on my hips and open it and see BB and raven

“So wanna explain why are Stars crying?” BB asks and I look at him and roll my eyes

“Because she was being rude, she literally came in and asked me to choose her and when I did she said she was better than Lu, rudely so I told her to get out and when she didn't I yelled get out” Dick comes up behind me saying that and I nod

“Fair enough,” Raven says going to walk away but BB grabs her arm

“ you need to apologize to her” BB demands

“Ok ill go talk to her,” I say and then I’m wrapped in chains so I look at the raven

“Me or you?” I ask and she laughs

“You” I nod

“I guess I won’t be going to apologize, and you can’t get mad because I dont have complete control over this,” I say as BB looked pissed

“You done here?” Dick asks and BB looks surprised as the door closed in his face a few minutes later I’m able to get out of the chains, my powers allow me to create things according to my emotions, so the rain was when I was sad but the rain didn't go away when I was happy again, it was apart of the weather then, the chains were now physical things because I felt trapped

“ you didn't get your dream prom but would you like that final dance and kiss?” Dick asks and I smile at him and nod and he spins me around as we dance in our soaked clothes and dance around his room until we are both tired and in the last moment he kisses me

“ I think I’m completely in love with you,” he says and I smile looking up at him

“I think I’m completely in love with you as well!” and kiss him again that night!

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afewmarvelousthoughts · 5 years

Text

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N: So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened.

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm.

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins!

Tags are open!

@mywinterwolf @disagreetoagree @breezy1415 @peachthatdrinkslemonade @5aftermidnight@jeromethepsycho @marvel-randomness @daniellajocelyn @katecolleen @yanginginthere@wonderlandmind4 @piensa-bonito @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @lesbian-girls-wayhaught @siriuslycloudy2

March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her. Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #black widow #queer fic #wlw

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midnightrogue69 · 5 years

Text

More than enough

I noticed that there wasn't much in the Arcana universe that catered to stuffing and bloating kinks so here ya go.

At first it was theoretical, Lucio saying he could drink Julian under the table. Julian was certain this wasn't true but you weren't so sure. You had seen Julian get pretty sloshed before.

Julian seemed content in letting it go until Lucio upped the ante.

"Bet I can eat more lobster claws than you can too."

It was childish. Julian had been dealing with Lucio's pettiness since the dawn of the plague. After a certain point he knew the only way to shut the count up was to comply.

"Alright. You're on." Julian said, his gaze narrowing intensely.

Lucio ordered for the lobster claws and some chocolates, a bottle of golden goose and some sort of ginger beer.

Julian smirked he was hungry enough this would be easy.

"You're gonna be sorry Doctor." Lucio snickered.

"May the hungriest man win." Julian grins and reaches for a handshake but Lucio is allready tucking in to his plate of lobster claws.

"Hey no fair." Julian has to catch up now so he begins packing the preshelled lobster claws in three at a time...six at a time...he can't close his mouth it's so full.

Its disgusting but you can't look away. Julian swallows hard and Winces. The lobster claws hit his stomach like a rock.

Lucio is pooring his bottle of golden goose directly into his mouth. Julian unquorks his bottle with his teeth and begins slugging it so fast you can see the crimson drink caressing the corner of his mouth and curving down his chin. As he chugs it bubbles erupt inside the bottle. The tiny crimson drop slithered down his neck staining his shirt collar.

Finaly Julian sets the bottle down and wipes his mouth on his sleeve. He hiccups once but his appetite still has yet to catch up with him.

He's cleaned three more plates piled high with lobster claws. You had no idea that he could pack away food like this. It's a hidden talent and you're kind of impressed.

With pained look on his he leans back in his chair and assesses just how much he has eaten versus how much more is left. The obvious difference in empty plates versus full ones causes him to realise just how stuffed he is. He sighs with puffed out cheeks in a contemplative manner. Regret coils in his stomach with audible irritation.

Glurgggggllllurrrrrgggllllleeeeuuuuurrrggg

"Don't quit on me yet." He gives a woozy grin, rubs his swollen stomach burps, and convinces himself it's a chance for a second wind.

You wouldnt imagine someone as charming and refined as Julian being so grotesquely indulgent. But there is that side of him that likes bar fights, and pain, and impressing people so maybe he's secretly or not so secretly getting off on this.

Its amazing how much he can pack into that thin stomach of his. Surely it is all going to his thighs. The chocolates are decadent and about the size of his fist. He pushes them into his mouth one after another barely remembering to chew as he swallows them.

Julian grimaces as the hunk of chocolate slides past his ribcage. He beats his fist against his chest but he can't seem to get himself to burp.

"Giving up?" Lucio asks hoarsly. He still has chocolate staining the edge of his mouth.

"You wish" Julian chokes. He lifts his lose white shirt and rubs his throbbing stomach. Its bulging enough to leave an imprint of his belt on his pale flesh. It gurgles uneasily as he gives it an encouraging pat.

"Oof hang in there."

He needs something to relieve the pressure. Something that will make his belly relax so he can keep going.

Julian reaches for the bottle of ginger beer and begins to chug. It's a big bottle, twice the size of the Golden Goose and he quaffs it half way down.

Three quiet burps escape him simoltaniously as he sets down the bottle and goes back to the lobster claws. He's starting to have regrets as he pushes away his eighth plate of lobster claws and clutches his stomach. Its starting not to feel so good.

He sighs deeply and swallows to keep everything down.

A low rumble in his tummy manifests as an awkward wet belch, one that seems to stick to his throat. You dont envy the slimy feeling in his stomach.

A nauseated look crosses Julian's face.

"Mmm-"

"Oh no doctor, did we give ourself a tummy ache?"

Lucio's patronising voice is almost more sickening than the wicked combination of things brewing inside of Julain. Almost.

But then suddenly with renewed gusto he attacks his ninth plate.

He's packing them in so fast you can't even count them. The shadow of his stomach presses against his lose white shirt. Lucio is watching in aww. He begins downing more of his golden goose and Julian does the same.

His throat slinks up and down as he guzzled the remainder of the golden goose and sluggishly drops the bottle on the table. He tries to steady it.

You watch nervously thinking maybe he should slow down. But you don't dare tell him. Something about this has you Pleasently tense. The anticipation of Julian's stomach bursting is over wealming.

He stops for a moment gloved fist infront of his mouth. He swallows hard looking like he's gonna be sick.

Bllluuuurrrrrrrrpppp

The belch erupts from Julian faster than he is prepared for. His face turns red and he blinks his eyes a few times.

"Oof excuse me."

Brrrrrruuuupppp

Lucio is watching lethargicly clutching his bottle of golden goose. There is still about sixty five percent left. And about twenty four chocolates and five plates of lobster claws.

With drunken judgement Julian takes the bottle of golden goose from Lucio who is nearly knocked out.

He climbs up on the table and tilts it back. His stomach makes audible protest glorping and gurgling as he attacks this bottle of wine. As the bottle grows emptier Lucio starts to look angry.

Julian's stomach is swelling under his shirt and you are mesmerized as the content travels from the the bottle down his throat and into his engorged belly. Lifting up his white lennin shirt he rubs his swollen abdominals, traces of muscle he didn't choose to show off still peak through despite being stretched beyond comfort.

When he's done he lifts his arms in the air and bealches victoriously nearly losing his balance.

GggllllUuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrruuuuuuuggghhhhhhhppppp

You catch him to keep him from falling forward and hear a miserable groan from his stomach as you do. His belly is sloshing with every movement.

Suddenly Lucio is at his feet and in a drunken rage he grabs Julian, spins him around and presses him to the wall.

He begins to forcefeed Julian every thing that was left on the table. Julian just grins. But he starts to gag as Lucio forces a chocolate pastry into his mouth. His choices are to eat it or suffocate.

He's starting to turn green as Lucio plugs a twelfth chocolate into his mouth. And then he shakes up the ginger beer to bring out all the fizz and poors the rest of it down Julian's throat.

The bloated doctor is simoltaniously chugging and burping. The efervecent bubbles are expanding in his gut. Julian's fingers grip the wall behind him. His other hand rubbs his stomach desperately trying to calm it down.

Gooooorrrrrrbbbbllllllaaaabbblllloooorrrrr

His stomach is so confused by everything inside it. He pushes up his shirt to rub it as Lucio throws the empty bottle asside he smashes his fist into Julian's protruding gut.

"Julian" you shout watching him cradle his aching stomach as he drops to his knees.

Glllllllluuuuuuurrrrrrrp

"Oof"

You shove Lucio away. He stumbles backwards drunkenly and falls on his ass.

Your hand gently carresses Julian's distended belly.

"Oof think I may need a doctor after that. I feel kinda sick all of the sudden. Think maybe I ate to much?"

Glllllllluuuupppbbbbllllluurrppp

"Don't worry. Ill take care of you." You assure him gently.

"Thanks" He croaks "oh god I feel disgusting."

He leans back against you exhausted, shirt rolled up to display his tight stomach gurgling unhappily.

Julian lets out a low groan as he gives into his heavy stomach and rolls into your lap. His neck is sticky with wine. His breath sweet with chocolate but tainted with fish.

"Not your most dignified moment." You agree "But I'de be lying if I said it wasnt hot."

"Really? Maybe I should over do it on the lobster claws more often then."

He grimaces at an unsavory bealch

"Hrng!- Ooft then again maybe not."

You begin to massage in tiny little circles around his drumtight belly.

The gentle massage is working up a lot of gass bubbles and he keeps burping. But nothing seems to satisfy his bulging gut.

Booooooooorrrrrrrrrrrllllllooooorrrrrpppppppllllllll

His groaning stomach has had enough for one life time.

"Ughh That-ermf that was pretty stupid huh?" He groans.

A massive bubble is building up in his stomach. This is by far the worst indigestion he has ever felt in his life.

You continue to help sooth the bubbling in his stomach by pressing gently. Each gurgle seems a bit more uneasy than the last. Finally the pressure elicits a small oof and an accompanying burp.

You can get more than that out of him. You press a little harder massaging right under his ribcage where his stomach is rock hard curving down from being expanded so far. It makes julian bealch uncontrollably.

"Mmff maybe not so hard."

So you press harder. Hard enough that his eyes bulge with pleading desperation. His stomach is churning something fierce,

Eeeeaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhppp

"Feel better?" You ask. Soothingly brushing his hair out of his face.

"A little." But you can tell he's lying. His face contorts as he sits up and bealches hard enough to make his chest rattle.

Bbbbbrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuugggghhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-ugghp-uuugghp- urp.

"Whew. Now I feel better." He smacks his lips a couple of times, hiccups and falls asleep on your lap. His stomach puring loudly under your palm as he drifts off to sleep.

"Easy." You whisper to his percolaiting stomach. "Let him rest."

Julian shifts as you press your ear to the spongy part of his gut and listen to the murmur of his upset stomach. He'll feel better in the morning.

#the arcana #the arcane game #arcana stuffing #stuffing #bloating #stomach bloating #burping #burp kink

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blaineanderxon-blog · 6 years

Text

Let Down Your Hair || An Andertwin Para

Who: Blaine and Mickey Anderson ( @mickeyanders ) What: Anderdad pushes Mickey to the limit When: September 24th, night Where: The Anderson Home Notes: tw jerkface dad

Mickey had it. They swore they did. For just one night they wanted to be left alone. They wanted to lay in their own damn bed, or well, Cooper's bed and they wanted to sleep for a few days. Their lack of sleep was really starting to get to them and of course old Michael wanted to pick a fight. He started simple, making fun of Mickey's hair length, telling them how it looked like an afro. Then moved onto the dress Mickey was wearing. Typically they would just fight back and find themself kicked out of the house for a night but tonight, no. They simply told him they'd get their hair cut right away. It was really all they could muster up as they began panicking. Their feet hurriedly carried them upstairs. They went into their father's bathroom to grab his razor before moving back to Cooper's room. They changed into what their father would call 'men's clothing' before sitting down on the floor in front of the large mirror. They ran the razor along the side of their head once, watching as the locks fell, doing their best not to sob too loud.

Blaine could hear his dad across the hall, basically picking on Mickey. It was so hard to listen to the man who they were supposed to look up to being so mean and heartless toward his own child. No parent should ever act like that, he thought, sitting on his bed and listening quietly. Yeah, Mickey had pushed, no, violently shoved Blaine out of the picture for a while, moved out of their shared room and into Cooper's room across the hall, and they'd been avoiding each other since, but Blaine still felt everything Mickey felt. They shared a twin super power, and it was times like this that Blaine hated it. It was just too hard to be fighting when something like this was happening. Or had happened? He didn't hear anything from the other room anymore. Everything was quiet. Too quiet. Carefully, Blaine got up and tip toed across the room to the door and peeked out. No one. And Cooper's-- Mickey's bedroom door barely open a crack, a weird buzzing sound coming from inside. Checking to see if the coast was clear, he crossed the hall and peeked into the room, his eyes going wide at what he saw. "No, no, Mickey, no," he breathed, forgetting about their fight and rushing into the room.

Mickey was tired of hearing it. Why can't you just act like a boy? Just be a man, Michael. The words often rang through their head. It wasn't as if they didn't understand their father. They wished more than anything that they were a boy, or a girl. That they weren't so confused and upset all the time. But that just wasn't them. Mr. Anderson would have to learn to accept that just like Mickey had. When they heard the door open more and in came Blaine. That was when Mickey broke. They had been about one third done shaving when Blaine entered. They let the razor fall as they instead buried their face against Blaine's shoulder. "I just want to be normal. I just want him to leave me alone." they mumbled against him. "I gotta finish it."

Blaine practically fell to the floor and as Mickey buried their face in his shoulder, he wrapped his arms around them and squeezed. He hated his father more than anyone else right now, and he wasnt sure he would ever be able to forgive him for this. "You are normal. You're wonderful and beautiful and you're perfect how you are," he said, choking up more than he wanted to. "If he can't see that, then that's his problem. I won't let him hurt you like this." Blaine didn't want to let go of his twin, half afraid he wouldn't get this again, and half afraid of what he knew Mickey was going to have to finish.

Mickey shook their head. "I can't be. I mean why is everyone just so awful about it, you know? They act like I'm choosing this. I'm not I'm just so over it and....and I just want people to leave me alone." Mickey whimpered honestly as he stayed curled against Blaine for a long moment before finally sitting back and rubbing harshly at their eyes. "It's...it's too late. I don't even care anymore I just gotta." they sighed glancing back into the mirror, pushing back the rest of their curls. "Well I can't pull off a half shaved head." they admitted quietly before letting out another sob as they stared in the mirror. They always knew their hair had meant a lot to them, but they supposed they didn't realize just how ugly they'd feel without it at all.

Blaine frowned. "They just don't understand. To them, still... 1856 and boys can't like the color pink. Or other boys. And girls aren't allowed to do anything but have babies. And there isn't nothing in between," he said, not really sure where he'd been going with that. "You are you. And you can pull off a shaved head. Dramatize your eyebrows and wear bright lip stuff..." Honestly he didn't think Mickey would go for that, the way things were going at the moment, but an idea dawned on him. "I can do it too," he offered, his eyes serious.

Mickey shook their head. "I...I guess but there's still gay marriage Blaine. There's still gay pride parades. I feel like absolutely nothing has been done for trans people. I just.." the whispered and shook their head. "I feel defeated. I feel tired of fighting. Of fighting about everything." they whispered with a sniffle as they looked at themself in the mirror, then Blaine. “Our brows are bad enough as it is..." they started before stopping as he offered to shave his head too. They had to let out a laugh at that as they looked back at him. "You'd better not. You'd look worse than I'm gonna."

Blaine tried to find something positive to say as a rebuttal, but Mickey had him there. Even if he didn't have his dad's support, he had the support of the government, at least when it came to marriage. And they had a point, that nothing had been done for trans people. They couldn't even use the bathroom that they wanted to in a public place. Blaine was a champion of causes he believed in, standing up to people who wanted to say 'well, this is how it is,' when that wasn't how it should be. He just didn't know how to help with this cause yet. "You're not going to look bad," he retorted, furrowing his eyebrows. You can wear any kind of clothing and rock it, you can rock this hair too. And I'm serious. We're twins. I'll do it if you want me to."

Mickey shook their head as they looked over to Blaine. "No, no. Don't shave. I'll be okay. I mean it's just hair. I know you're right. I know I'll be cute" they sighed and glanced back to the mirror and at their butchered hair. They reached down to take Blaine's hand in their own and hold onto it tightly for a moment. "Let's just...do it and I'll cry myself to sleep and it'll be fine." they shrugged. "And you're going to make me some chicken nuggets, okay, B?" they sniffled as they turned the razor back on with a whimper.

Blaine frowned. It wasn't 'just hair' for Mickey. They loved their hair and Blaine imagined that shaving it off was like a thousand tiny papercuts filled with lemon juice to the heart. He squeezed their hand. "Do you want me to do it for you?" he asked, almost flinching as the razor turned back on. He couldn't believe he'd just asked that, but at the same time he didn't think Mickey could handle it. And he didn't want them to have to either. The chicken nuggets could wait.

Mickey looked over and shook their head. "I can do it." they whispered quietly. "I love you a lot. And...and you and I are done fight okay? For real. I'll move back in and I'll tell you everything and I'll text you fifteen times a day okay? I just...I need you. You're my strength." they whispered to him before taking a deep breath and bringing down the clippers on their head again. Their hands shook a bit but slowly they finished and put it down. They didn't stop crying even as they finished. Instead they looked around at the curls on the floor and whimpered. "God I really do look ugly." they sniffled.

Blaine pressed his lips together. He didn't like that this was how his fight with Mickey had to end. He wished he'd have been there to shut their dad up in the first place. Then Mickey wouldn't be crying and miserable and hating themselves. He stayed there next to them the whole time, watching with sad eyes as their hair slowly fell to the floor. "You're not ugly. Don't say that. You're the most beautiful person I know," he said. "And I don't wanna fight with you anymore either. I miss you." He cleared his throat and glanced away. He needed to be stronger than this right now. "Chicken nuggets."

Mickey leaned against their brother again, resting their shaved head against his shoulder. "I love you." they whispered quietly, looking up to him. "I miss you too. I'm sort of sad I didn't get a chance to have a big dramatic fight with you to make up." they joked softly, pushing their hair back. When he said chicken nuggets they nodded. "I...yeah. Yeah, B. I'm gonna clean this up and shower." they whispered softly after rubbing at their eyes.

Blaine nodded and wrapped his arms around Mickey. "I love you too. Always. I'd offer you the big dramatic fight, but I'm not sure I really want to have to experience your wrath," he tried to joke back. His voice didn't sound funny though, and he hated times like this when he couldn't hold himself together even for the sake of someone as important as Mickey. "Okay," he whispered, letting them out of his grip. "You wanna stay in my room tonight?"

Mickey sighed and looked over to him. "Yeah I'll stay in our room tonight." they replied. "I'm sorry I left you." they whispered, reaching out to rub at his hand before they got up. "I'll meet you back in there in a bit. Thank you. " they promised before sighing as the door shut behind Blaine. They whimpered again and quickly got up to cover the mirror before he finally cleaned up and showered. After they moved right into they and Blaine's room, curling up on his brother's bed. Before Blaine even made it back, they had fallen asleep.

#para #para:mickey #a:mickey #//someone idk what to tw this

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midnightsdarkangel · 7 years

Text

I don’t want to die.

Summary: Haruka didn't care if he lived or died at first, but when Takane came into the picture, he couldn't help but suffocate.

(i read some of the translated book of over the dimension and my heart hurts. tbh i have this headcanon haruka really has little to no self care with his mental being unless Takane is there. Pls save these children)

When I was young, I was told that I was going to die.

Normally when you’re told news like this, the first thing you do is cry. You fear and you grieve over the life you wouldn't live. When my mother had died, I was numb as my father told me the same thing would happen. He was void of all emotions, just a blank stare as if to state the facts and nothing more. I'm not sure if I had cried as a child, I just remember feeling suffocated.

From then on, I just didn't care.

The suffocating feeling never went away as I got older. If anything, I was able to press it down in the depths of my mind. It led me to lead a very careless life- or, well, what little I have of my life. It never really bothered me when I collapsed and woke up in the same white room, with the same bed and the same blurred faces of nurses. If anything, I welcomed it as a daily routine in my life that I had grown accustomed to. No one cared either, if anything we had all become desensitized to the notion of my predicted death so there really was no reason to worry.

Everyone but Takane.

"You idiot , you’re bleeding! Quickly, put your hand under the sink!"

It was one afternoon when all the students had gone home that Takane had rushed over me in a panic.

I stared baffled as Takane grabbed my wrist rather forcefully and dragged me to the bathroom to clean up. I had managed to get cut by a shard of glass in science class when I dropped my glass beaker, shattering all over the floor. Takane told me to leave it while she got a mop, but I just crouched down and swept the glass with my hand, collecting the fragments to throw in the bin as I managed to get a cut from a rather large piece. Blood had dripped from my palm into the bin when I let go.

I wasn't really aware of Takane at first as she panicked as I just stared at the blood drip from my hand. It felt oddly soothing to see that there was proof that I was still alive in this moment. It wasn't until she had grabbed me by the shoulders did I snap out of my state to look at her. Her eyebrows were pinched in a angry yet concerning gaze as her lips gave off a small pout that I couldn’t help but smile.

"Sorry, it was quicker that way,"

I spoke carelessly as we arrived to the girls bathroom, thankfully it was after school and no one really bothered to hang around after an hour had passed. It was the only place she could take me. She thrust my hand in the sink and turned the water on. The cold water made contact with my cut, letting water and blood blend to sink down the drain. I could hear her sigh in the background as she leaned on one of the sinks herself and brushed the hair from her face, her eyes were careful in watching me from the corner of my gaze as I gently washed the blood until it was no longer leaking out of my hand and was a mere cut.

"You need to be more careful..."

Her voice had become soft, yet still stubborn as if she was afraid to break her cruel streak in case anyone else had seen as she turned to face me, coming up close to my side to grab my hand gently to inspect the wound.

"It shouldn’t be too bad, I’ll tell teacher when he comes back if we have anything to bandage that up."

I wasn’t really sure how to react to her concern over my wellbeing. I had expected her to call me an idiot for cutting myself and tell me to wash up, but here she was, she had personally made sure to see that I was ok. It felt...odd. As if the suffocating feeling was rising in the back of my throat momentarily;

"You don’t need to worry that much Takane,"

I muttered gently as I turned the tap off and dried my hand with the tissue she handed over, not really caring if I rubbed it on my cut. When I turned to face her after crumpling the tissue and throwing it in the bin, I froze. She wasn’t angry, but instead had a look of concern had washed over her. It seemed as if she had something she wanted to say as she flexed her hands, clenching it and opening it. She bit her lip as if what she was going to tell me could turn the atmosphere grim, and in all honesty I was expecting it.

"...Why do you not care about yourself?"

"You mean this cut? I told you it’s not that much of a big deal-"

"No, not just the cut, Haruka, I’m talking about you! H-how you can collapse at any second and yet you don't care, you push yourself to your limit and yet to you it’s nothing. How can you not care about yourself, what if you..."

She doesn't dare say the next word, but I know what she wants to say as I smile sadly, finishing her sentence;

"Die, right?"

Takane just nods looking down as I sigh smiling softly. My hand gently rubbed her hair as she looks up to me with that worried but pouty gaze. I prepare to tell her I don't really care, that this was normal for me and I knew I was safe, just to ease her thoughts but my words don't come out. My mouth is open but I can’t speak. Why can’t I speak..? My hand tenses for a moment as I just stare at her to try and figure out what's stopping me. I tell everyone countless times of my predicament and how normal it was for me.

But Takane isn’t just 'anyone'.

The suffocation rises higher.

My hand sinks back down from her head as she sighs and looks away.

"Come on, I’m sure the teacher’s worried."

I stare at her as she leaves the room leaving the door prompt open for me. I don't move at first, I'm not really sure what happened as I grip my throat slowly, the sweat drips from my face as my heart races.

For that one moment in my life. I was afraid to die.

1 a.m.

I couldn't sleep.

If anything I just kept replaying her gaze at me over and over. How fragile she looked as if I would crumble at any second. I hated it, it made me uncomfortable. No one had ever given me such a look, no one had cared if i did reckless actions and normally i didn't care when others fretted over me. Yet Takane was able to stun me. In all honesty she had that affect...She was like a hurricane, no matter who you were you would be thrown into her world. I had fallen for her spell, i was thrown into the heart of the hurricane and i loved it. I loved seeing her for myself, every little subtle actions of her emotions. To anyone else it'd look as if she was angry all the time, but i saw every detail she wanted to show me. When she was flustered her eyes would dart away, if she was happy she liked to kick her legs back and forth and hum a tune. When she was sad…

It killed me.

I never wanted to see her sad and yet, it was I who made her look that way.

' How can you not care about yourself?'

Hah... I let out a weak chuckle as i covered my hand over my eyes, her words replaying over and over in my thoughts like a broken record. She had got me. And yet i wished i never felt this way. In my scattered thoughts i had wished the cut i had over my eyes would open again and blood to just pour, to cover my body in a lake of it and let myself sink until there was nothing left of me in a blood red ocean of my own mistakes.

I'd never forgive myself.

And of course a few months later i died.

Not the way i had expected..but i was certainly dead. My body had collapsed one day. Takane, poor thing. She was wearing her headphones staring at the paper in front of her with such a cute expression. How i wish i wasnt there to break her heart. My breathing had became fast and shallow like it normally had done with any attack i faced. However i didn't take it as casually as i did.

I felt myself suffocate.

My heart had began to race as i looked over to her, my pupils shrinking as i reached out in hopes to grab her attention but my hand froze. I couldn't. I couldn't do that to her, i didn't want to see her worry over me. This was fear wasn't it? How ironic…

Tears fell from my face as I smiled weakly.

I wished she didnt worry too much…

I love Takane Enomoto.

Took me a while- no...maybe i knew from the very beginning she was something special to me. It was just a shame i was too late.

After i had died i was given an offer...one i foolishly refused. I was hooked up to thousand upoun thousand of wires connecting to my arm, pouring lifeless energy into my core as the world around me was pure white. I wish i could say home sweet home seeing as this wouldn't had been any diffrent to what i experienced normally, but without her around i just felt miserable.

I had a tv infront of my bed, i had to shuffle myself up against the banister to watch, my eyes are weary and dull. Supposedly i was awoken as another person. Konoha. It felt funny watching a character i created in my own spare time begin to live my life out. Maybe this is what i wanted in the end, someone else to take my place- someone who was stronger than i was. Innocent to their own cruel predicament.

For a few weeks it was nothing but background noise to me as i preferred to sleep instead. It wasn't my life anymore, it was his and it just felt wrong looking into it as if i was there.

Well...until I heard her voice again.

"Ah wait Master! Done leave me with-darn.."

My head whipped up so fast i found myself clutching my sheets.

It was her voice.

Takane.

She was live- she was actually alive how did she-

"Ah...Hello Ene.."

Ah...I sunk back down in my pillow but my heart was still racing. It was her...but...she was different. She was in a phone Konoha had clung onto as he plugged her into a socket to charge the batteries. She had a different smile i wasn't aware of. She looked so happy...A spark of joy i thought id never see in my life time. She did pout and have that look of irritation to her but it overall was lighter- playful. I leant forward as i felt my head spin;

Did she remember me?

My hand reached out as i felt the wires tug on my skin, pulling me back.

I didn't want to live at first, this should had been my wish come true but not until Takane had came along did that wish change. If Takane was alive and happy then i was...But there was, smiling with the others i failed to recognise. Of course Konoha was there also but...i wasn't. A weak smile painted my lips as i felt my body tremble. Did she cry over my death...was she happier in a world without me?

No wonder she looked so bright...i wasn't there to drag her down anymore, she was finally opening out of her shell like i had always wished her to. So why...why was i crying..?

"Takane..."

I dont want to be left behind...

I want to smile with her..

"I love you."

"Huh..? Konoha?" Ene was snapped out of her thoughts when she had felt tears tap at her screen as she looked up baffled. Everyone in the room had noticed this when she had spoken up as they all looked to Konoha who just stared at her baffled and confused.

"Why are you crying?" Ene asks softly as Konoha touches his face ever so gently as if he could shatter in one touch if not careful.

"Im not sure...i just feel really sad."

Such sad lives we live..

#writing #kagerou project #kagepro #haruka kokonose #kokonose haruka #takane enomoto #fanfic #ene #konoha #this is super angsty rip #i love these bbs #mekakucity actors

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