Marco definitely seems the type to enjoy bushwhacking, luckily for him Ace loves hunting

October 22: Friday the 13th - The Final Chapter

(previous notes: Friday the 13th Part 3)

I'm on movie number four in this eight movie project, and for the first time I'll be seeing one of these movies that I haven't ever seen before! When I do my watch-a-movie-and-take-notes projects, I generally do them for movies I've already seen before so that it's not too frustrating to simultaneously watch & type. But I'll make an exception for these Friday the 13th movies in light of the fact that they suck.

I remember this being out at my local theater in 1984, when I was 13, and even thinking it might be fun to see it, but I never got around to it.

It really must have been bittersweet for audiences at the time, knowing that this would be the final chapter. Each time they had a positive moment of enjoyment with this movie, they had to remember, "oh, I'm really going to miss this. It shall all be gone. Once the lights come back on, the days of new Friday the 13th movies will never return."

unless

Okay, watching this now for the first time ever.

Again beginning with a rehash. This time however, it's a montage of moments from the first two movies. Wait, now here's some of the third movie. But it's all framed by one of the monologues from the second movie. Much shorter and less of a cheap move than the last two movies did.

The title has a new title-plus-mask image… and then THE FINAL CHAPTER arrives to blow that image up with fire and splody-sounds!

The credits promise the likes of Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover, so that's exciting.

Okay, now it looks like we're at the ranch where the third one took place. They're hauling bodies out of the barn & other buildings. It looks like Jason's body is one of the bodies because hockey mask!

Actually, I think that first shot was a long-ish crane shot. Cinematically ambitious I guess.

We don't know yet what happened to the girl at the end of the last one. It's weird because this scene is at night, but the last movie ended with daytime paramedic activity at the ranch. I'm confused. Please help me. Please tell me that it will all be okay.

One of the covered up bodies has stirred! Jason is probably up to his not-be-dead-after-all tricks!

This scene is about a pair of frisky hospital workers in the "cold room" where there is at least one body, plus a television where the girl "just wants to watch the news". But 80s-style aerobics is what's really on the TV. And she kisses him after all and gets quite flirty, but then takes it all back because he is so insensitive or something. They show the aerobics a lot. It's all pelvic and prurient. Then Jason kills the guy with a bone saw and then goes and finds the girl and kills her with something else because diversity.

Then an abrupt cut to daytime joggers in the woods somewhere!

Now we are learning about the family of the joggers. They live in the country where there is a legend of a psycho, so I guess we're in the Crystal Lake area. The youngest child is Corey Feldman and his personality is "likes video games and wears a monster mask while playing them".

Now we are learning about the kids that rented a house across the street. Crispin Glover and another dude are in a car, talking about a girl and they clearly don't know how to have this kind of conversation, and the writers don't know how to pretend like they do so the other guy does a gag about how an invisible computer told him that CG is bad at sex. It is an unappealing intro to these characters. We even know there are a bunch of other people in the car, way too many honestly, but we don't get to know them. Just the two people who talk like broken robots about a woman.

Just to keep the mood where it ought to be, a hitchhiker they drove past gets impaled by Jason!

CF, a tweenager I should point out, is peeping-tom-ing at the canoodling couple in the rented house, and it is interesting to speculate as to whose idea it was for him to act the way he does when he watches them. He bounces excitedly and slams his head repeatedly into a pillow. Whose idea.

Now there's a skinny dipping scene. They definitely have arrived to the point in the series where they feel it's important to show pretty girls without any clothes.

For some reason, CF and the adult older sister drove to where the skinny dipping was happening, but they bolted when they realized that's what it was. There is ch ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha ha on them as they have car trouble in the woods as they head home, plus also as two of the swimmers are hanging out. But they both turn out to be fakeouts! No one is dying at all! At least we'll always have the hitchhiker. They can't take that away from us.

The fakeout with the CF subplot is that it was just some handsome man that comes along to help. He says he is this deep in the woods because he is hunting for bear. CF totally calls him out! There's no way he's hunting for bear! No one is just like "it is bear hunting season and I am enjoying some leisurely bear hunting time". CF is no fool.

They decide to take Bear Hunter in as a guest for perhaps the afternoon. Because of the bubble of this movie, CF shows the Bear Hunter his monster toys and Bear Hunter shares in his enthusiasm.

0:37:13 - Now we are choking down this awkward scene where the young people are hanging out in their house trying to deliver dialogue that is not consistent with normal human psychology. The gist is that the men want to be sexual with the women but there are subtle social obstacles.

!!! Crispin Glover really is interesting! His screen presence absolutely towers above the rest of the cast, when he reacts unfavorably to being teased. But seriously all these interactions are so painful.

For our next murder project, we have an inflatable boat made of thin, vulnerable rubber for a person to get stabbed through. It requires assuming that Jason's magic powers allow him to just hide under water, waiting for a naked lady to lie down in the boat at night. This project was completed on time and under budget.

Seriously, the most terrifying scenes in this movie are the ones where the sexually frustrated young adults are hanging out and attempting to use words.

Another death just happened because the boyfriend of the recently-killed naked lady went to check on her, found her dead, then was Jason'd with some implements that I couldn't really understand. Something with a handle shoved into him somehow. It is filmed weirdly and then we just move on to Bear Hunter, camping nearby.

This is a disturbing turn… we're back on the uninteresting young adults, and one of them announces that he has found something very interesting! We see that it is old movie reels. They start watching them. It's old, old film of naked people. They laugh and laugh and laugh. Maybe this is art?

Pretty cool visual with this next death, we just see the shadow of Jason coming at her and killing her with a something. Looks cool as a shadow thing, plus it isn't "those stupid characters talking" which is a HUGE bonus.

We're back to CF's family; Mom saw something that startled her but we don't know what, and CF and Big Sister are… driving home in the car? Where were they, why did they drive somewhere, I forget. Maybe they had to run into town to pick up a packet of it-doesn't-matter-we-just-needed-Mom-to-be-alone.

Just like that, Older Sister went looking for Mom, but ends up taking shelter from the rain in Bear Hunter's tent. Bear Hunter, in a very predictable fakeout, slashes a hole in the tent because what is she doing in there anyway.

But we cut back to the young adults and CG gets a very ugly death! He's all "hey where's the corkscrew" and Jason makes his hand be corkscrewed and makes his face be stabbed!

Then he kills one of the other young adults just right afterward by being outside her second floor bedroom window and pulling her out the window SO HARD. Seriously it must be a hard job coming up with different ways to kill them, give them a break.

Back to Bear Hunter; he's fessing up to his true motive which is to hunt Jason. His story is hard to believe, and Big Sister is taking it in very diplomatically.

The one guy in the group of the young adults who is the biggest asshole is also the one most amused by the old films. We see them a lot, these old films they are watching. It is the silent era's version of soft core porn - women dancing naked. Anyway, the asshole's death happens when he gets the idea to be close to the projector screen, enabling Jason to stab him through it and making it look kind of cool and be a scene that ends with the projector-still-running cadence.

New death - guy is taking a post-coital shower and Jason comes in and shoves his arm through the sliding glass shower door thing and very effectively crushes the guy's head against the wall. Then the girlfriend comes in and discovers him; she runs down to the front door, but she can't open it, she just can't open it, it just won't open, and it ends with somehow Jason axe-killing her through the door from outside. They don't show it very well and no one probably ever clearly explained to anyone how it was supposed to work.

1:09:20 - This is followed immediately by a scene that is also poorly choreographed - Bear Hunter returns with Big Sister but it's a fakeout because for some reason they break the glass of the side door to get in, even though CF is right there. They are all frightened as if they know about deaths happening, even though they don't know about the deaths. It's just that the power has been spotty; that’s why things are urgent, as far as they know.

They decide to investigate the house where the young adults are staying. They are gingerly surveying the living room, and they walk right by where the projector screen murder happened, but they see no evidence of that crime.

1:11:55 - Bear Hunter tells the big sister "you stay right here with Corey". I'm pretty sure that just happened. I think he was referring to CF, whose character is not named Corey and who also is not with them.

In a shocking piece of non-linear storytelling, a dog jumps out a window in slow motion. Art. ART.

Jason kills Bear Hunter right in front of Big Sister, and even though his mission in life has been to hunt Jason, Bear Hunter doesn't even fight him off, he just begs Big Sister to run as Jason pounds on him. Big sister does run, but each of the house's exits has a dead person surprise that's too scary for her to go past so she's stuck inside with Jason!

But CF has heard her screaming and comes across the street to be with her. Oh but wait, I think they are actually now back at their house. I missed how that happened. That chase ends with a moment where she has reason to think she might have killed him by hitting him pretty hard with a cathode ray television set with an approximately 15" screen. But no, he changes back from almost-dead to regular-Jason and chases them around some more.

1:21:45 - They must have felt like their secret weapon for this movie was slo-mo thrown-through-a-window situations because Big Sister ends a portion of being chased by Jason by throwing herself through a window and landing painfully on the ground outside. Jason's all "you won this round Big Sister, but I'll be back. This is not The Final Chapter of this story!"

Everyone seems to have wound up back at the young adults' house, and CF has come up with an ingenious idea - he shaves his head to confuse Jason! Then he and Big Sister stab Jason a lot and it's all very gory and climactic.

The way the movie ends is that Jason's body twitches a little on the ground after they mostly kill him, and CF freaks out and stabs Jason many many, many more times! Cut to later on when Big Sister is in a hospital bed being told it will all be okay by some Caucasian men in white coats. They suggest that CF was pretty crazy for a minute there but that will pass. CF comes to give her a hug… but he looks scary! You guys, look, he looks scary! The big finish is that CF has a sinister look on his face. Cut to credits.

We never saw what happened to the Mom. Or the main girl from Part 3. Also it seems like there were some other young adults that just stopped being in the movie. How dare they.

Okay so I am halfway through this ridiculous project. I have watched four of the eight Friday the 13th movies. I watched them all by myself at my home during the COVID-19 pandemic. These challenging times I tell you.

(next: Friday the 13th - A New Beginning)

Talking about road trip fic led me to the concept of Athena: Actual Cryptid Hunter and then I took that a step further into veritable crack fic concept of “Athena with a youtube channel dedicated to cryptids and ghosts and her attempts to capture an actual ghost on camera by shouting ‘FIGHT ME, GHOSTS, I’M READY’ in allegedly haunted locations’”

A video, newly posted on the 14 of January, 2028, to a three-year-old youtube channel that has amassed a decent following despite its amateurish production value:

UPDATE: NOT GHOSTS

A young woman with long red hair sits in front of the camera, wearing a yellow “Suns Out Guns Out” tank top. What of the room is visible behind her shows an unmade bed and some colorful posters, the subjects of which are difficult to make out.

“Hey everybody! Happy New Year! I know, I know, it’s been nearly a year since I last posted anything, but a lot’s happened! I had to buckle down and study for the bar - I passed! Go me! - and then I came back home to Los Angeles - I’ll have to drop all of my open European investigations, but I swear, Nessie, I’ll find you someday! And I’ve been busy with, you know, working as a defense attorney! It’s… it’s been a ride, there’s been a lot of good and bad, but it’s mostly calmed down now, and I’m ready to resume.

“So the biggest thing that’s - well, not the biggest thing at all, not even close - but the biggest thing that’s relevant for you all is that I’ve met a bona-fide spirit medium! So I talked to her about this and everything and she says that ghosts can’t just hang around without being summoned by a spirit medium, and then are confined to the body of the summoner. I’m pretty inclined to believe her - she’s an expert and I’ve seen her do some weird stuff, no spirit-summonings yet, but my boss has seen her do that and he trusts her and I trust her. So I might’ve been wasting some of our time every time I went chasing ghosts these past years, but there’s still a lot more than ghosts out there!

“First up: with all the intensive studying I did, I never had time to make it out to the Himalayas to search for yeti like a lot of you suggested I should do, but you know what we’ll be doing now?” The young woman pauses for dramatic effect. “Bigfoot! We’re going Bigfoot hunting!” She claps her hands together. “I’ve gotten my license and a car since I’ve gotten back, since Amercia’s not as big on public transit” - she makes a face - “and if I ever want to get out of the city I need a car, and none of my friends drive.”

She frowns again at the camera. “If any of said friends found this channel somehow, I don’t love you any less but, uh, seriously, Boss please learn to drive. Your daughter is gonna get her license before you do.

“Anyway what was I saying? Right! Bigfoot! 

“You know, there was actually a sighting last month right here in Los Angeles county, so I’ll be looking locally and then I’ve got some time off so I’ll be driving north towards the prime Bigfoot real estate. It’s gonna be some long hours of driving in between stops I’ve checked off, but we’re gonna maximize our chances of finding Bigfoot by driving through the area. Like maybe he comes south for winter! We don’t fully understand his habits and with limited evidence I might be doing a little bit of guesswork. And two: since I’ve come home, I’ve… reunited with an old friend, and we haven’t really had a chance to catch up and all, yet, so I was gonna invite him along. Wish me luck, and I’ll get back to everyone with my game plan. Probably post a map on tumblr and link it in the next update.”

She grins and flashes a peace sign before the video ends.

*

“Repeat what you just said, but slower.”

Athena rolls her eyes. “Do you” - she jabs a finger into Simon’s shoulder - “want to come with me” - she points at herself - “to go Bigfoot hunting?”

“The final portion is where I find myself having difficulty understanding.”

“Bigfoot!” Athena throws her hands in the air as though attempting to pantomime the size of the creature. “Sasquatch! The cousin of the yeti and abominable snowman! You have to know what Bigfoot is! Everyone knows Bigfoot!”

Simon closes his eyes. “I know,” he replies, “what Bigfoot is.”

“So then what’s the problem?” Athena puts her hands on her hips and tries to pretend that she doesn’t know that Apollo, halfway down the stairs ahead of them, isn’t trying and failing to stifle his laughter.

“It is not real.”

“You don’t know that!”

“There is a nigh-impossible chance that it is real.”

“Those are the same chances as a lot of cases that Mr. Wright takes on, so I think it could happen!”

“Athena’s a huge believer in this kind of stuff,” Apollo says, having stopped and waited for them on the sidewalk in front of the courthouse. “Bigfoot, Mothman, all that nonsense.”

“Do you not remember the lesson of the Nine-Tales Vale case?” Simon asks.

“Well we know now that Tenma Taro specifically isn’t real, but the Nine-Tailed Fox still could be, and all those other yokai, like sure what Jinxie saw wasn’t real monsters but there still could be real monsters lurking around! You don’t know! Bigfoot’s real and there was an article that one was sighted around where Junie lives last month, and I’m gonna find him!”

Apollo raises his eyebrows and looks at Simon. Simon looks at Athena. “This is her hobby,” Apollo says. “This, and running, which I think are both proof that she’s a madwoman.”

“I’m gonna get Bigfoot pictures and tape them to your forehead,” Athena says. She turns to Simon. “So, want to come?”

She waits until Apollo has gone to get his bike and is out of earshot before she adds, “And when he says it’s a ‘hobby’ he doesn’t know about my youtube channel.”

Simon sighs and even in that sigh Athena can hear a conflicted mixture of exasperation and resignation. “Your what.”

-

A thread of comments on a tumblr post, beneath an embedded youtube video titled “BIGFOOT SEARCH: THE BEGINNINGS”:

> everyone please watch this video i dont care if you dont care about bigfoot or cryptids just watch this video

> I’ve been following this girl since basically she started and this is the funniest thing she’s ever posted

if you want background she’s this kid from Europe who started at 15 just doing these stupid videos camping out overnight in haunted places and making compilations of herself shrieking at every sound or sometimes you can’t even hear anything and she’s still screaming

and from there she started doing like cryptid hunting, she spent like two weeks at Loch Ness complaining about the crowds and then started researching more obscure cryptids and haunted locations and all

anyway she’s been on hiatus the past year. said she was taking the bar exam so either she’s a supergenius or lying but anyway this is the second video she’s made since she came back saying she’s gonna take a road trip thru Bigfoot territory and please watch this video

> she’s actually not European, she’s from LA and is back in Cali now and that’s why they’re going after Bigfoot

> god the way he says “it’s for fighting off the bears” I’m screaming

> did she dig up an actual fucking ninja in this year of our lord 2k28 like what is with this dude

> what are they gonna do if they get pulled over for speeding or smth and the cops find an actual fuckin katana in the car

> I mean she said she’s a lawyer so presumably she will lawyer herself out fo it

> how has no one mentioned the hawk in the backseat yet

> holy shit I didn’t even see that

> it’s not a real katana guys, it’s called acting

> you obviously have not watched her old videos because she’s a fucking godawful actor like look at her face when he says the katana is real she couldn’t act that

> they’re gonna get pulled over and have an actual fucking hawk and an actual fucking katana in the car

> if this video series doesn’t end in them actually fighting a bear I’ll be so disappointed

VIDEO GAMES... 2018

2018 was a thing.  It felt like it lasted 2 or 3 years.  It is honestly a bit difficult to track which media I consumed during the year. I'll start pondering a game that I feel like I played last year only for it to dawn on me that, oh, it happened this year.  It makes keeping track of this stuff a bit tricky, honestly.  Anyway, I am still going to try to do that, to get my thoughts in order and let everyone see what I had in mind. I will go over all of the important things needed to survive:  video games, music, anime, and other things.

VIDEO GAMES

Again, it's a bit tricky to remember what even came the hell out this year game wise. I am not going to rank things, because I suck at ranking things and also comparing a lot of the things I played this year is like comparing apples and termites.  I'm just going to make a good effort to go over some nice highlights of the year.

Bayonetta 1 and 2

Bayonetta is a game series I have been interesting in playing forever, but just haven't gotten around to due to circumstances despite it being released on multiple systems I owned.  I passed it on the PS3, couldn't afford to buy it when it was out on the WiiU, so when it came out on the Switch I had to give it a shot, and it was worth it. Admittedly, I sort of sucked at it (I take a ton of damage playing games, which isn't the best for getting high ranks) but I still enjoyed it and am glad that I played both of them (except for that one part in the first game in the angel territory where you fight those thunder and fire claw dudes who are immune to witch time, they can eat my ass).  The characters are fun, the over the top action and enemies are neat, and Bayonetta is just too damn cool.  I'm definitely interested in the third one and looking forward to seeing where the sequel goes. 

(I had forgotten this game had came out this year, it was in February, goddamn how long was this year)

Kirby Star Allies

I will admit, I am heavily biased towards Kirby to a fault.  If a Kirby game makes a reference to a past Kirby game I will gleefully clap as I notice it like a trained seal, and Kirby Star Allies, serving as a Kirby anniversary title, plays into that nostalgia hard.  Compared to the other modern 3D Kirby games (Return to Dreamland and past) I feel that the single player experience is on the weaker end, admittedly. The main campaign, while satisfying, blazes by quick, and the game does re-use boss styles a lot, which is a shame since the past few Kirby games had some very satisfying bosses.  Fortunately the extra content, including the post game modes and extra DLC support, was a marvelous way to keep the game running way after its release.  The nods and references to past games worked wonderfully for me, and it was admittedly great to see long dormant characters such as the animal buddies, Gooey, and Adeline/Ribbon return as playable characters.  The game's single player campaigns, both the initial story mode and the DLC conclusion “Heroes in Another Dimension” have very satisfying conclusions, and the challenge offered by the obligatory Arena mode is wild.  Really, I just love Kirby, and this game is a nice love letter to Kirby.  I have no idea where the game will even go after the plot line from this, but I am ready for the ride.

Octo-Expansion

Being able to play as an Octoling was definitely a long anticipated update for this game, and the way they were integrated into the game was amazing.  The initial Octo-Expansion trailer oozed almost rude amounts of style, and getting a whole new bonus single player campaign made purchasing an expansion worth it.  The additional stages were absolutely geared for challenge, and I don't think I will go back to finish the ones I didn't finish any time soon, but they had so many cool new implementations and spins on the Splatoon formula.  Splatoon on its own would make a decent game if it were just the single player campaign or multiplayer, so having both just makes for a nice, complete experience.  The whole climactic sequence, from finally completing the challenge of the subway to escaping to freedom, has that absurd escalation I just love in video games too. Also I love my stylish Octoling.

Kemono Friends Picross

Somehow I made it so long without ever playing Picross, but this finally brought me into it.  I have no idea how this combination came to be, but it finally got me into a fun puzzle system and I enjoy it. Somehow I have put in nearly as many hours on this game as I have Star Allies.  A lot of it does come from having the game paused as I idly go through puzzles while working on other projects, but having a game that does not demand a ton is pretty nice and fits with my gaming and lifestyle.  I'm looking for friends.

WarioWare Gold

WarioWare is one of my favorite video game franchises and a bit of an underdog, I feel.  The original Mega Microgames was my favorite experience on the GBA, with its unique game play mixed with a silly style.  The games that followed in the series for the DS and Wii were fun, but Made in Wario on the WiiU changed from the Microgame based high score hunting style to a collection of modes and games based on the WiiU game pad.  There were some bright ideas in there that might have done better as their own eShop titles, and the shift towards multiplayer games didn't quite fit as well with my style of gaming.  After that there was silence from the Wario Ware camp until the announcement and release of WarioWare Gold, which like Star Allies is a celebration of the series's past.  It was fun to have another Microgame experience that blended all of the weirdness and frantic gameplay that made me love the series, with a solid selection of classics built in.  It even has fully voiced cutscenes (an expansion on Smooth Moves's narration for each different style) that are oddly charming in a Saturday morning way.  It was good to have this series back, and I hope to see more unique takes on Microgames in the future.

Katamari Damacy Reroll

The original Katamari was a quirky game I bought on a whim back in the PS2 days that was sold to me on its weird look, style, and nice price point.  I enjoyed the first so much, and We <3 Katamari is one of my favorite games of all time.  Having a nicely touched up port on the Switch was welcome.  Somehow, despite having not played the original or its sequel in decades, I took to it like I had just played it yesterday, rolling up incredible Katamaris like a pro.  The original does have some warts in its gameplay that the sequels ironed out marvelously, and the dual stick controls do bother my thumbs at times, but it's still so satisfying to play and it's great that this game has a new chance.  Please go by this one, it's so enjoyable, but also because I want them to port We <3 Katamari so badly so you can all play that and see Katamari perfection.

Super Smash Brothers Ultimate

Smash Bros games seem to live on hype.  I will admit I never expected to see a Smash Bros game so early in the Switch.  It doesn't even feel that long since Smash 4 came out!  So having a trailer in the beginning of the year and a release in the same year was a bit astounding.  There was lots of drama and intrigue with leaks, character additions, and whatnot, and even if I am sad for some that didn't make it (pour one out for Ashley and Shadow, please) having every character available, along with some fun new additions, is definitely nice.  The spirits mode is a nice twist on the event mode, and the rebuffs to classic are nice.  Really, the best part is just being able to play Smash again with my pals, try out all of the characters, and just enjoy it with everyone.  I look forward to the DLC, and that we get Banjo and Crash to create some sort of bizarre realization of every ones mid-2000s dream game.  It was a fun ride leading up to it, and I look forward to playing it more with pals in the new year.

STUFF I STILL NEED TO FINISH

There are some games I got really recently that I still need to finish as gifts from the Steam Sale and whatnot.  I have right near the end of December received Celeste, Donut Country, and I finally got Cuphead thanks to the kindness of friends.  These will be some nice games to get me started on the new year even if one of them is from last year. At some point I may go back to Hollow Knight and Dark Souls, although admittedly the requirements for the true ending of the former are a bit of a turn off and I am having a bit of difficulty getting into the game play, controls, and progression style of the latter, but who knows!  I am also intrigued and interested in Yokai Watch 3, Yoshi's Crafted World, in the near future, and hope to see some nice news on Animal Crossing. Lastly, may Platinum Games heed my calls and give the world a Wario World sequel where Wario wrestles God or something in the pursuit of money.  Amen.

Also I still need to finish Persona 5.  Really at this point I’m just doing it for Futaba. She’s the best.

Next up, I will write about my favorite music from the year, as well as cartoons and film, which admittedly I have not gotten as much into this year!

To the people who wanna talk shit about this blog in the forums . . .

Couple years ago, I said that Mass Effect 3 would have been perfect if not for that shitty ending.

I said that because I would have been willing to overlook the garbage that was in the rest of the game if the ending hadn't been such shit.

But anyone who actually read most of my Mass Effect 3 posts here would know that I complained A LOT about the whole of Mass Effect 3 -- specifically Shep's auto-dialogue, the botched Mass Effect 2 romances, and Kai Fucking Leng.

Mass Effect 3 also had some really gross stuff in it, like FemShep taking advantage of her rank to basically rape Vega (because I guess the writers thought male rape was funny) and all this other shit.

Yeah. Mass Effect 3 had its fair share of problems. The Ending was just the icing on an already sour cake.

Also, I understand what a "protagonist" is, asswipes who love talking shit about this blog.

I didn't mean that Solas was actually the protagonist. I meant that he stole so much of the story, he might as well have been the protagonist.

This was done to the point that Corypheus wasn't our enemy, he was Solas' enemy -- we and Corypheus just didn't fucking know it.

This was done to the point that it was never our Inquisition -- it was Solas' Inquisition. This is something the Inquisitor can even SAY during Tresspasser "Was it ever MY Inquisition?" Of course, Solas denies that he was ever really in charge, but he was in the background pulling a lot of strings, even if he didn't have the final say.

Also, people are saying Solas won't even be important in DA4, so we Solasmancers should stop bitching.

Well, if Solas isn't important, then why weren't we given the option to deal with him in Trespasser and end his story there?

We are given the option to murder knife, join, or spare Morrigan and Anders (the other "evil" apostates) but we are not given the option to deal with Solas in a similar fashion? That's bullshit.

And if Solas isn't that important, it will just be a symptom of yet more sloppiness on Bioware's part.

See, all this happened because

1) Bioware did not have a plan from the beginning. They didn't plan for this series to be more than one game, then couldn't decide whether or not to bring the Warden back -- because some people had a dead Warden (myself included).

They got around this by inventing Hawke, who was then supposed to pick up the rest of the series as the main protagonist, leading the Inquisition and so forth.

But things changed AGAIN. Probably because lots of fans didn't like being forced to play a predefined, human character. Dragon Age 2 was nothing like the first game we all loved. Dragon Age 2 was basically Pseudo Final Fantasy, with it's own Cloud (Fenris) and everything.

So Bioware tried to go back to its roots with Inquisition, scrapping Hawke as the protagonist and inventing the Inquisitor, yet ANOTHER human noble character.

People didn't like being forced to play another human noble. Most of us (myself included) got into this series because we loved choosing who we were. I have always identified with oppressed outsiders (because I am an oppressed outsider) so I always play elves. I did not wnat to play a human again.

Bioware listened and added multiple races, but by then it was too late: the series had become a butchered clusterfuck, a thin shadow of what it had been.

2) The second reason all this happened? EA thought it would be great to take an rpg with depth and maturity and water it down into some streamlined mess. Somehow, they equated butchering a story with appealing to a wider audience and gaining more money.

So we have this MESS before us today that is Dragon Age (god, I fucking HATE EA), where every protagonist after the Warden has a clusterfuck story where they never defeat their own arch-nemesis and instead pass them off to some other hero.

I'm sorry, but Solas DOES belong to the Inquisitor as a villian. Just as Corypheus *really* belonged to Hawke (because Inquisition was originally a continuation of Hawke's story).

Just as we would have been pissed had Hawke stepped in at the last minute to kill the archdemon, thus stealing the Warden's enemy (who we worked so HARD to defeat) from them.

The Inquisitor is *not* coming back as a protagonist. Bioware has denied the arm has anything to do with it (they don't want to look ableist but being anti-indigenous is fine and dandy!) but no matter the reason, the Inquisitor's story is over and they are not going to be the protagonist anymore.

This means I don't get to end Solas' story as the Inquisitor.

That SUCKS.

That's like . . . ending Morrigan's story as Hawke, even though I romanced Morrigan in the game before and had history with her (and I did on two playthroughs romance Morrigan, so I waited for Witch Hunt just like everyone else).

That's like . . . ending Anders' story as the Inquisitor, even though Hawke had personal history (including betrayal) with him.

Remember what it was like after DA2 dropped? Remember all the gamers who HATED Anders and were foaming at the mouth about his betrayal? Imagine for one SECOND if they were not given the option to deal with Anders as Hawke and he instead carried over to Inquisition? As will Nerd Rage, the outrage would have been perpetual and unending.

And yet, I, a Solasmancer, am expected to just accept the way the story was handled, without criticizing it or even lamenting it. I, a Solasmacer, am expected to just . . . quietly accept something I don't like.

I suppose Nerd Rage is purely reserved for straight white homophobic dudes who want to kill Anders because he hit on them once.

Why are Solasmancers ridiculed and mocked for wanting to end Solas' story AS Lavellan? Why in FUCK is that such a god-awful thing?

It pisses me off because I already decided -- long before Trespasser was released -- that I would no longer be buying anymore Dragon Age games. Their anti-indigenous hate-screed (on top of the over-all sad dumbing down of the game into an MMORPG) had already convinced me to quit the series. So learning that my character would not get a proper ending to her story until the next game was beyond annoying.

But whatever. Go on mocking me on fextralife and bsn and whatever forum you like.

What I can't understand is why people even pay attention to my blog. I am just one fan ranting bitterly to myself about how a video game disappointed me.

I'm just one fan. I'm not hurting anyone.

And I'm allowed to have whatever fucking reaction I want to these games.

I'm allowed to have an opinion.

Hard to wrap your head around, I know.

EDIT: And to Steel Can.

I have watched for years as you behaved on the forums like a racist asshat about people of color, hiding behind your hatred of the Dalish to justify it. I wish you’d just shut the living fuck UP.

NO. The Dalish don't expect nor force city elves to worship their gods when they join them. Play a Dalish in Origins sometime. You might actually learn something -- not that you care to learn that you’re wrong. 

You're trying so DESPERATELY to justify the religious oppression of the elves. You're trying so DESPERATELY to justify the shitty way Lavellan was treated for her beliefs by everyone in the game -- even her friends -- by building false equivalences (the white man’s favorite passtime) and pretending the elves are just as bad as the humans.

But they're not. This is something Manifest Destiny, racist white men, would have you believe. They need you to believe it in order to justify history’s crimes. They need you to believe that indigenous people were violent savages who warred upon each other, so this made it “okay” and even “good for them” to be invaded, enslaved, and oppressed. 

I mean, it’s not like white people didn’t treat the Irish and the Scottish like garbage or anything. White people were always good to each other. They never tortured each other in dungeons and beheaded each other over loaves of bread . . .

Dalish elves were not forcing anyone to their religion when they joined their camps. Pol never gets vallalsin in the ten years he’s with the Dalish. Because he doesn’t have to. When you meet him in Origins. he is being taught to hunt and survive. The Dalish Warden tells him to just make himself useful, and he is welcome. No religious conversion required. He is not forced into elven religion.

And even if Pol was forced:

Nothing can justify what was done to the elves. 

Nothing can justify imperialism, invasion, genocide, cultural genocide, and slavery.

Just as nothing can justify what was done to real indigenous people. 

I bet you hated the Thalmor in Skyrim and sided with the Stormcloaks to protect their religion even while hating the Dalish -- a people facing religious oppression -- in Dragon Age. Because only white men are allowed to have cultural, religious freedom, and any culture that’s not white isn’t worthy of respect, right?

But why am I wasting my time, Steel Can? Your sorry racist ass will never understand. You enjoy shitting on real indigenous people and using Dragon Age to justify it. Because Bioware's racism gave you the tools to do so.

That does not make you or Bioware right.

Also, Red Crossing started when two HUMANS killed an elven woman while trespassing on Dalish land.

It’s a chilly night out, but it’s a clear one – the air is crisp and smells of the pine trees that are growing nearby. An abundance of stars decorates the ink black night sky; the pale moon casting enough light to illuminate the surrounding terrain. It’s not a full moon – not yet. Tomorrow, maybe, or the day after. The silence is a comfortable one, caused by their filled bellies and drowsiness, and interrupted only by the crackling fire, and the quiet rustling his bag makes as Prompto puts his camera away. He’s taken a quite few good pictures today - he'll have to be careful, or else his storage will be full before they've made it to Altissia. Gladio half-heartedly hides a yawn behind his hand, and Prompto grins. “Tired, big guy?” “You would be, too, if you’d fight a little harder.” Gladio stretches and crosses his arms behind his head. It’s just banter, Prompto knows, and actually pointless today more than any other time – on their hunt for Garchimacera earlier, it was Gladio that had one of them sneak up from behind, and it was Prompto that had shot the thing before any real damage could be done. A rare enough occasion, really, but of course, because it’s so rare, Prompto plans to rub it in a few more times. “Not fair,” he says – aims for a matter-of-fact tone and lands somewhere between a whine and a pout. “I totally saved your ass earlier.” Noctis, who’s stoking the fire, snorts at that, and Gladio laughs, loud and boisterous. “Indeed,” Ignis agrees. “Though, in reply to your previous question, perhaps it would be wise to turn in for the night.” Prompto, too, stretches. He’s not that tired yet - and, contrary to Gladio’s opinion, that is not for lack of fighting. His muscles still hurt from that fight, thank you very much - and he’s a minute away from suggesting taking the first shift of guarding their campsite. But then, he thinks, as his glance wanders over to where Noctis is still playing with the fire, their esteemed prince is hard enough to get out of bed in the mornings. Prompto decidedly does not want to be the poor idiot who gets stuck waking him up in the middle of the night for his shift. Apparently, neither do the Ignis and Gladio, because they, too, are looking at him. Noctis, who seems to notice the three sets of eyes on him with the speed of a King’s Knight I loading screen – that is to say, with no speed at all – looks up and groans. Such a dignified royal, Prompto thinks with affection. “You’re making me take first shift again, aren’t you.” It’s – yeah. It’s not really a question. “Well, Noct,” Ignis begins, in his diplomat’s voice. Noctis’ eyebrow twitches. “For the sake of everyone’s safety – yes.” “Dude. The last time I tried to wake you, I thought you were gonna summon your sword on me.” It was a traumatising experience. If he hadn’t known Noctis any better, he would have been sure of his imminent death. As it was, he had known Noctis better. And that meant he could be absolutely certain that his best friend completely lacked the ability to do anything that required movement before breakfast. Well – anything other than rolling over and falling right back asleep. Gladio gets up and pats Noctis’ shoulder in passing – a gesture that might have been apologetic had it come from anyone other than, well, Gladio. “I’ll take second,” He says, smirking, then adds,“g’night!” and disappears in the tent. “Alright.” Ignis gets up. Adjusts his glasses. “Prompto? Shall I take third, or would you rather?” “I’m fine with either, really.” Prompto shrugs. “Go on, then. If I take last shift, it’ll gives me the chance to take some good shots of the sunrise.” “You’re supposed to be guarding the camp, not taking photos of the sky, you know,” Noctis grumbles behind him. Prompto decidedly ignores him. So does Ignis. “Then it’s settled.” He nods once, to himself. “But even as you appear not quite ready to go to sleep, I would suggest not staying up too late. We all need to be awake and alert tomorrow.” Prompto salutes him. “You got it.” Then Ignis, too, disappears in the tent. With just the two of them left sitting by the fire, Prompto shuffles a few feet closer to Noctis. “Hey buddy. Mind if I join you?” Finally having abandoned the stick, Noctis leans back and glances over. “’Course not. But aren’t you going to sleep?” “Nah. Not that tired yet.” They fall into comfortable silence. In front of them, a spark lands on the stick and it catches fire. Using his foot, Noctis moves it out of reach. Prompto hums contently. It is a nice night. They’ve been so busy; between fighting for their lives and looking for tombs and hiding from the empire, there hasn’t been a chance for them to actually catch their breath. Beside him, Noctis lets himself drop backwards until he his back hits the floor. Over his shoulder, Prompto watches him. Watches him breathe; the steady rise and fall a comfort. Watches the worry lines on his face smooth out as he gazes up at the stars. He looks relaxed. At ease. Lately, he’s had an air of unease around him, frown seemingly etched onto his face permanently, and shoulders hunched almost if caving under the weight of responsibilities put there much too early. Not that Prompto blames him. It’s a lot. It’s too much. He wouldn’t wish it on anyone, least of all him. Now he looks – younger. More like the boy Prompto knows; the one who spent his time lying on the couch playing video games with him. With whom he used to fight over the last slice of pizza. (They’re too young, Prompto catches himself thinking. All of them, and Noct especially. Prince or no, he should be playing games at the arcade and getting fries at the diner down the street from there. He shouldn’t have to carry so much. It’s a dangerous thought. Ignis would tell him, it is what it is. Thinking about what isn’t will only bring misery. But still. Still.) “What?” Noctis asks. He’s no longer looking at the sky; instead, his eyes rest on Prompto. “Did I get food on my face?” “You wish,” Prompto says. “I think that was the last of our supplies, too. If we don’t find anything edible tomorrow, we’ll go hungry.” “As if Specs’d let that happen.” “True. Prompto stretches, and then lets himself fall down next to Noctis with a soft thud. “What’s up?” Noctis asks. “Just thinking about how Iggy’s gonna have an aneurism when he finds out the crown prince is lying in the dirt, when there's a perfectly good camping chair right over there.” He gestures vaguely, without really looking to see if he's actually pointing at it. “Like that’s the worst I’ve done on this trip.” He snorts. “And I guess, technically I’m the king now. What’s he gonna do about it?” And – oh. Prompto really didn’t think about that one, did he? He bites his lip and worries, for a moment, that he’s ruined the mood. It hasn’t been that long, after all, that they stood on the steps of the Citadel and bid the king – former king now? – goodbye. Even less time since they heard about his passing. But Noctis looks at him and grins a little, and yeah, Prompto isn’t that good at walking on eggshells anyway. “Shit, really?” he exclaims. “Don’t you, like, have to be officially crowned or something?” “There is a ceremony for it, but it’s more of a formality at this point. As it is, I guess I am the acting king.” Prompto hadn’t known that. It’s weird, kind of, how they’ve been friends for over five years; how he’s become part of his Crownsguard without a second thought, and he still doesn’t know so much about that part of Noctis’ life. Compared to everything else, it’s just never seemed that important. “Uh, damn,” he says, eloquently. If about nothing else, Ignis would have an aneurism over this conversation. “I sure hope I didn’t, like, offend you, your majesty. Far be it from me to insult your royal ass.” “Oh, shut up.” Noctis punches his arm playfully. Prompto reaches back and shoves him. It doesn’t have the desired effect – or, any effect, really. The angle is awkward and they’re both lying on the ground, but Prompto thinks it’s the thought that counts. Obviously, his current foe disagrees. “That was pathetic.” “Shut up.” So he’s using Noctis’ words against him. So they’re behaving like children. So what. He shoves Noctis again, with about the same result as before – which is none – but then he can’t quite stop himself from laughing after all. Neither can Noctis though, and soon, they're both laughing. Hell, Prompto loves that sound more than anything. More than the soft kweh-ing a happy Chocobo makes. They do try to keep it down, mindful of Ignis and Gladio sleeping in the tent just a few feet away, even if Prompto guesses that Gladio sleeps through anything his brain doesn’t immediately consider a threat, and Ignis wears earplugs, and eventually, their laughter quiets down to more of a soft chuckle. This time, it’s Prompto who turns to look up, but  even though the stars are beautiful, his eyes soon stray to the side again – to Noctis lying there, right next to him – and find that he is already looking back. And it’s like there’s something there, something tangible, lying in that short distance between them, and if Prompto just reached out, then maybe he could touch it, and finally know it for what it was. He doesn’t dare. They’ve touched before, of course, countless of times – Prompto has always been tactile around Noctis, and Noctis has always reciprocated – but this feels different. This feels like skipping close to the edge of a cliff and reaching for a lifeline that might not be there. Another step forward would be one too many, and Prompto, for all that he loves the idea of flying, is deathly scared of falling. (Noctis is looking back though. He notices that. He can’t not notice that.) “Hey,” he murmurs eventually, softly, because the moment feels heavy but he doesn’t quite dare to disturb the quiet. There’s a small smile hiding in the corner of Noctis’ lips as he whispers back, “hey.” Prompto counts that as a win. “You should still have one. A coronation. When all this is over.” Noctis doesn’t reply, but turns slightly, propping his head up on his elbow, and regards him. Which, to anyone fluent in Noctis, means ‘I’m listening.’ “Well, I just think – you’d deserve one? You’ve been raised for it, trained for it, studied for it. Might as well have the celebration to go with it?” “Hm.” Noctis hums noncommittally. “I don’t know. It’s not as grand as you’re making it out to be. There’s a ceremony, and speeches, and drinks and dancing. Like all the other social functions I’ve had to attend. They’re pretty dull.” “Ehhh. You’re partying with the wrong people, man. I bet it’d be a blast if I was there. Hearts would break. Chandeliers would fall. It’d be great.” “So be there.” “Huh?” Prompto turns on his face to face Noctis fully. “Be there,” Noctis repeats. “If we have one. I’d want you there.” “Right.” Prompto chuckles. It is a funny thought – Prompto Argentum in a room full of nobles and important people. He’s sure it’d feel like a game of odd-one-out, if, y’know. The odd-one was glaringly obvious. (For a moment – just a moment – he allows himself to continue that train of thought. For just a moment, he indulges. Noctis, walking down the corridor, about to receive his crown. Cor would be there, of course, and Ignis, and Gladio. Noctis, standing tall with the crown on his head, facing the crowd as he turns to sit on the throne that is rightfully his. Himself, standing next to Noctis, because where else would he be? And Noctis would turn to him, and smile, and – Prompto stops himself there.) “I mean it,” Noctis says. “Ah, but you know. The other guests would not be ready for my dance moves.” An eyebrow raised, Noctis looks at him, amusement written clearly on his face. “Dance moves, huh?” “Yep.” Prompto drags the sound out; puts emphasis on the ‘p’. “They’re amazing.” “Oh?” Noctis pushes away from the ground and into a sitting position. “Let’s see them.” “What? Now?” “Of course. Unless you can’t deliver.” There’s a smirk on Noctis’ lips and Prompto thinks, damn. Thinks, I would do anything for this boy. “You’re on,” he says, as he moves to get up. “Prepare to be amazed.” He starts bobbing his head to imaginary music, and then follows with a combination of dance moves he’s seen in clubs and from music videos; throws his arms wide open and twists and turns in a way he’s not sure doesn’t completely look ridiculous. And because he is the type to go the extra mile, depending on what the reward is, he strikes a pose when he’s done. “Bet you – ah,” He stops to catch his breath. “Bet you didn’t see that coming.” Noctis is staring at him, mouth slightly open in an impressive mix of horror and awe that Prompto is sure he’s picked up from Ignis, and then he seems to come alive – he doubles over; hand pressed to his mouth and body shaking with laughter as he tries to keep even remotely quiet. (And yeah. That reward was worth the extra mile.) “No – “ he gets out when he’s calmed down a little. “No, I did not see that coming.” He snorts; breathes laughter as Prompto joins him on the floor. “Prom. By the Astrals, Prompto. We’ll have to work on that. That was – yeah. We’ll work on that.” “Oh, you’re just jealous.” “That is… not the word I would have used.” The laughter dies down eventually, and Prompto sighs, almost wistfully. ‘We’ll work on that,’ Noctis says. Like it’s a thing that might be happening. Like it’s something more than a pipe dream. Prompto has, since the beginning, known that he would follow him anywhere. He wishes he could share in a moment like that. It’s just – he’s not important like Noctis is. “You’re frowning,” Noctis says, as he nudges him with his foot. “It’s not a good look on you.” “Excuse you. Everything’s a good look on me.” His mouth feels heavy, but he smiles anyway. “That’s debatable.” Noctis nudges him again. “What’s up?” There are lots of things that he could say, of course, because they would be easier than trying to understand, but right then, between the crackling of the fire and the starlight, it feels like there is no room for anything but the truth. “It’s just,” he begins. Smiles. “I do wish I could be there.” “You should be.” And then Noctis is the one frowning. “You will be.” “Noctis. Noct. Buddy.” Prompto’s hand finds the edge of his glove, and he tugs it higher over his wrist. A nervous tic more than a conscious action. “I wouldn’t belong there.” “Why not?” And really, Prompto watns to hug Noct, and kiss his stupid face, because he can be so endearingly naïve. It’s ridiculous, that they call him the clueless one. “Well, you’re –” Prompto makes a vague motion with his hand, gesturing from Noctis’ head to where he’s sitting on the ground. “- that. And I’m, well. Me.” He’s met with an uncomprehending look. “So?” “Oh, Noct.” Prompto laughs, quietly. “There are going to be important people there. I’m not like that. I have no place there.” There’s a moment where Noctis just stares. Then realisation dawns on his face, and his eyes narrow. “Prompto,” he says. “Prom.” And then he leans forward and grabs Prompto’s elbow, and Prompto, who had been toying with the hem of his glove until then, let’s go in surprise. “You are important,” Noctis says, and his eyes burn with something intense as he stares into his eyes. Prompto breathes a nervous laugh. “Noct-“ “No.” His grip tightens infinitesimally. “No, Prompto. Listen. You are important. I trust you with my life. You are my best friend and part of my Crownsguard, and when they crown me, I want you there.” Noctis releases his elbow, but his hand slips down to Prompto’s hand. “I don’t care about anything else. Your place is with me.” And it’s – it’s a lot. Noctis isn’t a big talker. Has never been, not about things like these. His is more a language of actions, one where what he doesn’t say holds as much weight as the words he does speak. For him to say all that – well. The hand holding his wrist squeezes once more and then falls away. “Okay?” Nodding, Prompto takes a shuddering breath and tells himself that now is not a good time for waterworks. If Noctis notices, he doesn’t say anything. Prompto is grateful. “Now that that’s settled,” Noctis leans back. “I was serious about the dancing. Because that was atrocious.” “Shut up,” Prompto aims for a grin. He thinks he manages. “No, it wasn’t.” “Yeah,” Noctis disagrees. “It was.” “Well, sorry, your majesty. Not everyone was taught ballroom dancing since early childhood. For us plebes that’s usually a thing we solely do in, y’know. Clubs.” “Ah.” Prompto ignores his well-that-explains-it voice in favour of grabbing another log and placing it on the fire. Watches as the flames start licking it. It’s gotten colder, but this close to the fire, he doesn’t really feel it. “Okay,” Noctis says, some time later, when the flames have begin dancing on the new piece of wood, breaking off pieces here and there in a complicated step sequence and turning the edges black. “Let’s do it.” “Do what?” Prompto asks, absent-mindedly, still mesmerised by the fire. “Dancing. I’ll teach you.” That gets his attention, and he looks up to see Noctis staring at him. He waits a beat, then two, for the punchline that’s sure to follow. There is none. He waits a moment longer, just to be sure, and when the only thing he receives is an oddly determined look, Prompto sits up straight. It’s a dangerous look, that. It’s the same he wears when he’s taking down a boss in King’s Knight, and the same he wore the day they snuck the Regalia out for a test drive only to crash it not even ten miles out of the city. “Huh?!” The sound is caught somewhere between shrill and perplexed, tone rising an octave towards the end that’s surely undignified. Prompto claps a hand over his own mouth, thinking of Ignis and Gladio, and his next word is more of a harsh whisper. “What!” Noctis doesn’t acknowledge his tone, but he does give a little shrug. “You said it yourself – no one taught you. Let me teach you. Or we can wait until tomorrow, if you’d rather have Ignis do it, but then you’ll also have to live with Gladio’s commentary.” Prompto makes a face. “Yeah, I’d rather not.” “I figured.” It occurs to him belatedly, that he’s not even being given a choice here – either do it now, or do it tomorrow with Ignis. Either way, you’ll learn. He could still say no, of course – Noctis wouldn’t ever make him do something he flat out refuses to do, except maybe make him eat his vegetables when Ignis isn’t looking – not that Prompto is honestly complaining about that one, either. But that’s not what this is about. This is about Prompto fearing that he doesn’t fit in, and Noctis lending a hand.  “Ah, what the hell. “ He shrugs, helplessly. “Why not.” There’s a grin, Prompto sees that; a flash, bright and blue, and then Noctis is right there, grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. And – okay no, warping just isn’t fair when he can’t do it, too. “Not cool, bro,” Prompto complains. “Weren’t you complaining about being tired all day today?” His only response is a laugh, and then Noctis tugs him along, a few feet away from the fire and the tent. “We’re gonna start with the basics,” he says. “Get the steps down. You’ll follow at first, but I’ll teach you to lead, later, when you’ve gotten used to it.” “Okay?” Noctis holds out his free hand, and Prompto places his other one in it, hesitatingly. “Am I not, like, gonna hold onto your shoulder or something?” “Sure,” Noctis says. “Later. But let me teach you the steps first.” He tugs him a little closer, so their arms aren’t completely extended but bent a little bit. “Oh. Yeah.” “Let’s start with a slow waltz. It’s one of the easiest dances. It’s in three-four time, so you have three steps, a pause, and then three more steps, okay?” “Uh-huh.” “Because you’re currently following, you’ll start by stepping back with your left foot, and I’ll step forward with my right.” He does. Prompto’s eyes follow the movement as Noctis’ foot inches closer to his, and he answers by stepping back. Then Noctis steps forward with his other foot, slightly angled to the side, and Prompto mirrors the movement, Finally, he  gives Prompto a small nudge to the side as he moves his right foot next to his left, indicating for Prompto to do the same with his left. “Good!” he approves. “See, it’s not hard at all. Now we’re going to do the same again, except I’ll be the one stepping back with my left foot, and you’ll step forward with your right.” He pulls Prompto with him as he moves back that step, and this time, Prompto finds it easier to move in time with him, knowing which step is going to be the next. When they’re both standing with their feet together again, Noctis says tells him, “It was easier for me, when I learned, to imagine two triangles. That’s how you move: two sets of three steps. He begins moving again, lightly pulling and nudging Prompto along. They’re moving slowly, the steps separate and not flowing together yet – Prompto occasionally confuses which foot he is supposed to be moving, but Noctis never makes fun of him for it. He just pauses and lets him follow in his own time. “See? You’re doing well. It probably took me longer to remember the steps.” “Noct,” Prompto deadpans, “you were, what, six? Five?” But even as he says it, he can’t quite stop the smile blooming on his face. They repeat the set of movements a few more times. Noctis, as it turns out, is a really good teacher – Prompto doesn’t know if that surprises him or not. He’s always had a bit of a short temper when it comes to video games, or his royal duties, but then, on the other hand – he’s Noctis. Noctis, who feeds stray kittens and gets excited over fishing and hugs his pillow when he sleeps. Prompto knows that underneath it all, Noctis is nothing but soft, and kind.  Eventually, Noctis reaches up and places Prompto’s hand on his upper arm. He moves his own to Prompto’s back and pulls him closer, until they’re standing almost chest-to-chest. This close, Prompto can feel Noctis’ breath on his skin. But then they’re moving again, and Prompto stumbles a little, distracted. Noctis hold on him tightens. He says nothing. Even here, away from the fire, Prompto finds the cold doesn’t bother him. It’s warm in Noctis’ arms – Noctis, who hates the heat and never seems to get cold. It’s safe. Noctis smells of the sea, and that scented hair gel he insisted on bringing along – that Prompto sometimes steals from because it smells so much better than his own – and of something so achingly familiar that it makes Prompto almost a little homesick. It reminds him of lazy afternoons in his apartment, and hours spent at the arcade. “See,” Noctis interrupts his thoughts. “We’re even turning with no problem.” He’s right – at some point, Noctis has started angling his steps so that they’re slowly turning in circles. Prompto never even noticed. The triumph over actually slow dancing with no mistakes a short lived one, however, because he recalls the step sequence in his mind, thinks, wait, was it the left or the right foot next? And accidentally steps on Noctis foot. And freezes. “Shit, Noct,” he exclaims. “I’m sorry!” He tries taking a step back, but Noctis holds onto him, grip on his hand tightening ever so slightly. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. You’re doing well.” He smiles. Starts moving again, pulling Prompto with him. “You know, when I was taught how to dance, they told me that more often than not, the person who’s foot is on top is actually in the right.” It’s a sweet attempt at a distraction – Prompto sees it for what it is. But he’s focused on the steps, and not squashing Noctis’ feet under his own. His head is turned down, watching their feet move in concentration. “Hey,” Still directing Prompto’s movements with the hand on his back, he lets go of his hand in favour of lifting his chin up to meet his eyes. “Look at me,” he says. “Stop thinking so much. Just look at me.” That, at least, does the trick. Prompto is looking at Noctis, finds him looking back. He can see his eyelashes flutter together as he blinks – they’re long, really; some people might get jealous – and it strikes him, once again, just how incredibly beautiful his best friend is. Incandescent. Ethereal. The right words have not been invented yet. As it turns out, it’s an easy rhythm to fall into, once you can stop thinking about what your feet are doing. Because Noctis is looking at Prompto, and Prompto is looking at Noctis, tracing the outlines of his face in his mind, committing to memory the way his skin is almost glowing in the fire light, and how his dark eyes seem endless, and that soft smile he’s smiling, and oh. Oh. He was so worried about playing on the edge that never even noticed he’s already falling – has been falling for some time. It’s not an earth-shattering revelation, realising that he’s in love with Noctis. Not like he might have imagined, had it been something he considered, even once. Instead, it’s a quiet moment of yeah, this makes sense – like he’s been working on solving a puzzle and the last piece has finally fallen into place. It feels a bit like opening a door, and a lot like coming home. There’s nothing to be done about it – Noctis is still engaged to be married; they’re still fighting for their lives every day they’re out in the wild. There’s nothing to be done. He can’t exactly stop himself from wanting this moment to last, though. Can’t help noticing that it would only take leaning forward to touch his lips to Noctis’. (And with the way Noctis is looking back, he can’t do anything about the fact, that, just for a moment, he thinks Noctis might want him to.) He doesn’t. Instead, he enjoys Noctis’ warmth. Everything else can wait until tomorrow. There is no room for worries here – this moment is theirs. He settles for leaning his head on Noctis’ shoulder and closes his eyes – which is certainly not customary for ballroom dancing, but society can stuff it. He deserves this, at least. It ends too soon. The fire is burning low, and Noctis says, “it’s probably time to sleep, huh?” Prompto hates that he’s right. Noctis lets go, but his hand lingers on his wrist for a moment; covers the markings hidden underneath leather and cloth and a lifetime of lies. It’s a rather unpleasant reality check. I could tell him, he thinks, suddenly, and for a moment, he’s absolutely certain that Noctis wouldn’t turn him away. The hand feels warm where it touches his skin, anchoring, and the weight on his chest feels light enough to breathe properly. He almost says something. The words are there, a jumbled mess on the tip of his tongue, and if he could just find the way to begin, surely he’d find a way to make sense of them. He opens his mouth, almost says something, almost– But then Noctis squeezes and lets go, and Prompto’s courage leaves him. “Okay, yeah,” he says with a grin that feels too heavy. Maybe tomorrow, he thinks. Probably not. “I should maybe get some sleep, shouldn’t I?” But someday. He vows this to Noctis in silence; vows it on his life and soul and everything he’s ever held dear. Someday he’ll tell him. Someday he’ll prove that he trusts Noctis with his deepest secret; trusts him not to shatter his heart after finding out.  “So,” Noctis asks, “When all this is over?” It takes Prompto a second to realise he’s referring to the coronation. “Yeah,” Prompto promises, and means more than just that. “When all this is over.” “Get some sleep, nerd. And don’t think you’re off the hook. I’ll keep giving you dance lessons, until I think you can hold your own in a ballroom.” It’s meant to sound like a threat. Prompto takes it as a promise. “That’s brutal, dude,” he says, and tells his heart to calm down. “Don’t forget that I can make Gladio wake you up tomorrow.” Noctis snorts. Prompto grabs his bag as he walks over to the tent. Opening the flap, he looks back over his shoulder. “Goodnight, Noct. And thank you.” “Anytime.” There’s more that he could say, probably, but those are secrets for another day. He nods, and enters the tent, climbing over Gladio’s form. Leaving room for Noctis at the far left side, because Noctis doesn’t like sleeping sandwiched between two people, Prompto pulls the blanket over himself. He falls asleep to the memory of warmth on his skin, dreaming of laughter and light.

Attrition of Peace

Two: Leo

Movie Night is on Me

 When Leo realized he had no memories of the last month, he wasn’t surprised. As heroes go, losing a few months of memory seemed comparable to losing one pencil in a backpack. Judging off of when his friends, Jason and Percy, forgot their entire lives, Leo thought it might be more of a coming-of-age thing for heroes. Ah, you’ve turned 16? Better wipe away every awkward experience until this point so you’re completely unprepared to handle the future.

By the time Leo finished skimming through 72 hours of video surveillance, he felt like all his internal circuits were fried. He’d hunkered down in the Leo and Calypso Garage shack with chips and a packet of energy drinks, determined to figure out what had happened.

First, he and Calypso had to figure out how much time had lapsed. It had been happening to Leo more and more recently, though Calypso said that was because of the whole death and zombie experience and their recent detachment from society. This time though, Calypso also couldn’t remember what day it was, or why a group of rowdy centaurs and nature spirits graffitied Red Velvet Cheesecake and The Anti-Corruption Act all over their shed. Even when he couldn’t remember, Calypso’s memory was usually in mint condition.

               After he and Calypso woke up to their little work camp looking like it had been invaded by Dionysus’s crazed fan club—and Leo knew exactly how they liked to party—Calypso realized someone had worked some magic on them. Leo was a little alarmed at how well she could identify forgetful magic, but he figured that was just a sorceress thing.

Leo fiddled with a few pieces of metal. He’d absently crafted three or four miniature Buford tables while wading through all the footage.

Nothing special. Some Cyclops raided their trash again. Leo really needed to Cyclops proof the trash with a tiny robot that said No, Bad Cyclopes, to guilt them into good behavior. A few rowdy centaurs stole one of their umbrellas and replaced it with the rotor blade and mast of a helicopter. That explained where that came from.

Leo’s ADHD drifted his attention away from the screen. He almost overlooked the guy in Calypso’s fireproof mesh suit trying to strangle him.

He sat up. “Hey Sunshine!” he called. “I found the Saturday morning cartoons!”

Calypso came into the tiny shack with a basket of fresh laundry. She sang softly and wore jeans and a T-shirt. Since they left the island, she’d permanently ditched the shiny goddess look, but Leo thought she’d never looked hotter in her work clothes. Her caramel hair was in a practical braid that made him crazy.

Leo reached to help her fold, but winced when she smacked his hand away. “Ow—Sunshine—you’ve got to stop punishing me for trying to help with house chores,” he complained and shook out his hand.

“Your hands are greasy,” she said, her almond eyes narrowing at his fingers.

Leo hadn’t noticed how messy his fingers became while making the mini Bufords. He missed the full-size Buford.

Leo sighed and watched her fold. He suspected she enjoyed something about laundry, probably the therapeutic simplicity of it. This was one action that hadn’t changed since she left Ogygia, though she must have fought with invisible servants to do the chore before. As much as he knew she was happy to be off the island, for every minute she took to enjoy her freedom, she seemed to need a minute in the garden or by the loom so she didn’t get overwhelmed.

He’d offered to build her a clothes dryer, or to have Festus start a fire-drying service, but that usually only earned him a scowl.

There was more to it this time though. Normally, she’d give him a playful flick or something.

Something about going through these videos had left her on edge.  

He had a suspicion, but he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself, let alone to her.

Leo skipped backwards in the video. Although the surveillance camera in the front and back of the shack didn’t capture transition scenes, he could hear and see enough. This group of seven demigods bargained for Leo’s location with his father, Hephaestus. Once they found him, some tall, buff guy of mixed ethnicity named Axel traded Felix’s missing control board to have Leo rebuild a sword.

Felix—a smaller, silver version of Festus designed to find, protect, and reunite Calypso with him if they were ever parted. He was hoping that might alleviate some of her mild… separation anxiety. Leo vaguely remembered Felix disappearing one night. From the video, he gathered Felix went to find Calypso… just the wrong Calypso. Instead, it ended up outside Camp Half-Blood, after Kalypso, a daughter of Apollo that the dragon promptly tried to eat. Who would have thought destroy and protect would be so close when coding a mechanical dragon.

Although Leo felt pretty bad, once he found out everyone was okay, he was glad random strangers got to test out his new dragon, instead of almost having his girlfriend get charcoaled. Maybe he had a little more to learn before he could replicate Festus’s control disk.

When Leo pressed play, Calypso frowned at the screen. They were still at the part where the silver-suited guy strangled him. He could almost envision Percy shouting, “Look out, Leo! You’re about to be attacked by the Tin Man!”

“It’s okay,” Leo assured Calypso. “He didn’t strangle me too much.”

“It’s not that,” she said and waved his personal wellbeing away. “You recrafted Kronos’s blade.”

Leo glanced at her. No matter how long he was in the field of Greek mythology, he could never keep all the names straight. “That’s the dude from God of War right? Is he a big baddie?”

Calypso didn’t seem to hear him. Her frown deepened. “We need to find the people who have that sword.”

Leo tried not to gawk. That would mean hunting down other demigods. Calypso hadn’t been comfortable interacting with other demigods yet. He didn’t remember having a direct conversation with her about seeing his friends, but he had a distinct feeling that she hadn’t wanted to.

Having her say she wanted to talk to some demigods—even if it was a couple of jerks who crashed their shack—made him giddy. Maybe they could go to Camp Half-Blood next and get attacked by everyone for being M. I. A. for so long.

“Um—yea,” he said, half a moment too slow. Smooth, he thought. He probably should have cared more about this whole Kronos-sword thing, but he was mostly excited about the thought of seeing his friends. And beating up the guy who tried to choke him. That would be some nice stress relief.

He grinned, reaching for Felix’s silver control disk. It was on his desk, beside an empty packet of chips. While tracing his fingers along the metal, he said, “If that Kalypso girl is with them—what did they call her? Kally? If she’s with them, I think we’ll be able to find that group in no time. Just leave it to the Leoman.”

Calypso rolled her eyes. Then she glared. “Leo, The God of War is Ares, not Kronos.”

Leo laughed that it took her so long to catch the prior reference. “Sunshine, it’s the name of a game. We can play it sometime after we’re done catching the Tin Man Strangler.”[1]

With that, Leo snatched up some tools and went to find something that could fit Felix’s control disk. Although he couldn’t place why, he was sure finding this group of jerks would result in crossing paths with his friends from Camp Half-Blood and New Rome.

He just hoped this Kronos sword thing wasn’t that big a deal. He’d fought the Giants before. What could a group of demigods pull out that he hadn’t seen before? 

  [1] I know, the main character’s name is Kratos. I just can’t resist the look on Leo’s face when he remembers that is NOT a game you want to play with a jealous girlfriend around.  Nor with someone who knows anything accurate about Greek mythology.

Thanks for reading the second chapter of AOP! I hope you enjoyed! :D  Watch out next weekend for Reyna's chapter: Who Ordered the Trojan Mario?

Day of the Tentacle

Although they didn’t know one another at the time, Dave Grossman and Tim Schafer both found themselves at a similar place in life in the summer of 1989: just out of university and uncertain what to do next. Both saw the same unusual advertisement in the newspaper: an advertisement for programmers who could also write. Both applied, both were shocked when they were called out to George Lucas’s beautiful Skywalker Ranch for an interview, and both were fortunate enough to be hired to work for a division of Lucas’s empire that was still known at the time as Lucasfilm Games rather than LucasArts. It was quite a stroke of luck for two innately funny and creative souls who had never before seriously considered applying their talents to game development. “If I hadn’t seen that job listing,” says Schafer, “I would have ended up a database engineer, I think.” Similar in age, background, and personality as they were, Grossman and Schafer would remain all but inseparable for the next four years.

They spent the first weeks of that time working intermittently as player testers while they also attended what their new colleagues had dubbed “SCUMM University,” a combination technical boot camp and creative proving ground for potential adventure-game designers. Schafer:

A group of us were thrown into SCUMM University, because all of the LucasArts games used SCUMM [Script Creation Utility for Maniac Mansion]. The four of us were messing around with it, writing our own dialogue. They gave us some old art to work with, so we were just writing goofy stuff and joking around, trying to make each other laugh. I think LucasArts was watching us the whole time, and they picked me and [Grossman] out and said that they liked the writing.

Grossman and Schafer were assigned to work as understudies to Ron Gilbert on the first two Monkey Island games. Here they got to hone their writing and puzzle-making chops, even as they absorbed the LucasArts philosophy of saner, fairer adventure-game design from the man most responsible for codifying and promoting it. In early 1992, shortly after the completion of Monkey Island 2, Gilbert announced that he was quitting LucasArts to start a company of his own specializing in children’s software. He left behind as a parting gift an outline of what would have been his next project had he stayed: the long-awaited, much-asked-for sequel to his very first adventure game, 1987’s Maniac Mansion. The understudies now got to step into the role of the stars; Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle became Grossman and Schafer’s baby.

Times were changing quickly inside LucasArts, keeping pace with changes in the industry around them. After first conceiving of Day of the Tentacle as a floppy-disk-based game without voice acting, LucasArts’s management decided midway through its development that it should be a real technological showpiece in all respects — the first adventure game to be released simultaneously on floppy disk and CD-ROM. Along with X-Wing, the first actual Star Wars game LucasArts had ever been allowed to make, it would be one of their two really big, high-profile releases for 1993.

It was a lot of responsibility to heap on two young pairs of shoulders, but the end result  demonstrates that Grossman and Schafer had learned their craft well as understudies. Day of the Tentacle is a spectacularly good adventure game; if not the undisputed cream of the LucasArts crop, it’s certainly in the conversation for the crown of their best single game ever. It achieves what it sets out to do so thoroughly that it can be very difficult for a diligent critic like yours truly to identify any weaknesses at all that don’t sound like the pettiest of nitpicking. The graphics are as good as any ever created under the limitations of VGA; the voice acting is simply superb; the puzzle design is airtight; the writing is sharp and genuinely, consistently laugh-out-loud funny; and the whole thing is polished to a meticulous sheen seldom seen in the games of today, much less those of 1993. It’s a piece of work which makes it hard for a critic to avoid gushing like a moon-eyed fanboy, as Evan Dickens of Adventure Gamers did when that site declared it to be the best game of its genre ever made:

The 1993 CD “talkie” version of Day of the Tentacle is a perfectly flawless adventure, the rarest of rare games, that which did nothing wrong. Nothing. There is no weakness in this game, no sieve. Stop waiting for the “but” because it won’t come. This is the perfect adventure game, the one adventure that brought every aspect of great adventures together and created such an enjoyable masterpiece, it almost seems to transcend the level of computer games.

Of course, there’s no accounting for taste. If you loathe cartoons, perhaps you might not like this game. If you prefer more serious plots or more rigorously cerebral puzzles, perhaps you won’t love it. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine very many people not being charmed by its gloriously cracked introductory movie and wanting to play further.

https://www.filfre.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/dott.mp4

One of the few negative things I can say about Day of the Tentacle is that it’s more fun than it is truly innovative; it doesn’t break any new formal or thematic ground, being content to work entirely within a template which LucasArts and others had long since established by the point of its release. It remains at the end of the day a slapstick cartoon comedy, always the lowest-hanging fruit for an adventure-game design. Within that template, though, it executes everything so well that it’s almost annoying. This is the cartoon-comedy graphic adventure perfected, serving as the ultimate proof that much of what is sometimes forgiven or dismissed as “just the way adventure games are” is really the product of poor adventure-game design. Most of the problems that so many players consider to be intractable ones for the genre simply don’t exist here. The puzzles are goofy but always soluble, the dreaded sudden deaths and dead ends are nonexistent, and pixel hunts aren’t a problem amidst the game’s bright, clearly delineated scenes.

Day of the Tentacle‘s predecessor Maniac Mansion stood out from other adventure games in 1987, as it still does today, for allowing the player to select her own “party” of three characters, each with his or her own special skills, from a total of seven possibilities. The result was an unusual amount of replayability for the adventure-game genre; every possible combination of characters was capable of solving the game, but each would have to do so in a different way. Although this made Maniac Mansion a much more interesting game than it might otherwise have been, it was all nightmarishly complex for the game’s designer Dave Gilbert to map out. He would later state that only sheer naivete could ever have prompted him to expose himself to such pain — and, indeed, his first statement after finishing the game was, “I’m never doing anything like that again!” He held to that resolution throughout the rest of his time at LucasArts; his 1990 game The Secret of Monkey Island was at least as good as Maniac Mansion, but it owed its goodness to its writing, humor, art direction, and puzzle design, not to a similar formal ambition.

Against Gilbert’s advice, Grossman and Schafer first envisioned Day of the Tentacle operating along the same lines as Maniac Mansion, with another group of a half-dozen or so kids from which to choose a team. But the escalating cost of art and sound in the multimedia age played as big a role in nixing those plans as did the additional design complications; the two soon settled for giving the player control of a fixed group of three characters — which, they didn’t hesitate to point out, was still two more than most adventure games.

As this anecdote illustrates, Day of the Tentacle was never overly concerned with aping the details of its predecessor. Certainly if you play it without having played Maniac Mansion before, you’ll hardly be lost. Grossman:

We really couldn’t imitate the style of the original in the way you normally would with a sequel. Too much time had passed and the state of the art was radically different. We stopped thinking of it as a sequel almost immediately and just did our own thing, slathering our own personalities on top of that of Maniac Mansion.

Grossman and Schafer did reuse those elements of the earlier game that amused them most: the mad scientist Doctor Fred and his equally insane wife and son; the rambling old mansion where they all live; a memorable gag involving a hamster and a microwave; a pair of wise-cracking sentient tentacles, one of whom became the centerpiece of their plot and provided their sequel with its name. But of the kids the player got to control in Maniac Mansion, only Bernard, the über-nerd of the bunch, shows up again here. (Not coincidentally, Bernard had always been the favorite of the original game’s players, perhaps because of his range of unusual technical skills, perhaps because — if we’re being totally honest here — he was the teenage archetype who most resembled the typical young player.) Notably, Dave, the oddly bland default protagonist of the earlier game — he’s the only one you have to take with you, even though he’s the dullest of the lot — doesn’t show up at all here. In the place of Dave and the other kids, Grossman and Schafer augmented Bernard with two new creations of their own: a bro-dude “MegaBreth” roadie named Hoagie and a terminally nervous medical student named Laverne.

The story here does follow up on that of Maniac Mansion, but, once again, it doesn’t really matter whether you realize it or not. Five years after his previous adventure, Bernard receives a plea for help from Green Tentacle, informing him that Purple Tentacle has drunk some toxic sludge, which has instilled in him superhuman (supertentacle?) intelligence and a burning desire to enslave the world. Now, Doctor Fred has decided to deal with the problem by killing both tentacles; this is an obviously problematic plan from Green Tentacle’s perspective. Bernard convinces his two reluctant pals Hoagie and Laverne to head out to Doctor Fred’s mansion and stage an intervention. In attempting to do so, they unwittingly help Purple Tentacle to escape, and he sets out to take over the world. And so, just like that, we’re off to save the world.

It doesn’t take Day of the Tentacle long to introduce its secret puzzling weapon: time travel. Doctor Fred, you see, just happens to have some time machines handy; known as “Chron-O-Johns,” they’re made from outdoor port-a-potties. With his plan for summary tentacle execution having failed, he hatches an alternative plan: to send the kids one day back in time, where they’ll prevent Purple Tentacle from ever drinking the toxic waste in the first place. But the time machines turn out to work about as well as most of Doctor Fred’s inventions. One sends Hoagie back 200 years instead of one day into the past, where he finds Ben Franklin and other Founding Fathers in the midst of writing the American Constitution in what will someday become Doctor Fred’s mansion; another sends Laverne 200 years into the future, when Purple Tentacle has in fact taken over the world and the mansion is serving as the dictatorial palace for him, his tentacle minions, and their human slaves; and the last time machine leaves Bernard right where (when?) he started.

You can switch between the kids at any time, and many of the more elaborate puzzles require you to make changes in one time to pave the way for solving them in another. In some instances, the kids can “flush” objects through time to one another using the Chron-O-John. On other occasions, a kid must find a way to hide objects inside the mansion, to be collected by another kid two or four centuries further down the time stream. “It was really fun to think about the effects of large amounts of time on things like wine bottles and sweaters in dryers,” remembers Grossman, “and to imagine how altering fundamentals of history like the Constitution and the flag could be used to accomplish petty, selfish goals like the acquisition of a vacuum and a tentacle costume.” Of course, just like in Maniac Mansion, it doesn’t pay to question how the kids are communicating their intentions to one another over such gulfs. Just go with it! This is, after all, a cartoon adventure.

Hoagie’s part of the plot coincidentally shares a setting and to some extent a tone with another clever and funny time-traveling adventure game that was released in 1993: Sierra’s Pepper’s Adventures in TIme. Both games even feature a cartoon Ben Franklin in important roles. Yet it must be said that LucasArts’s effort is even sharper and funnier, its wit and gameplay polished to a fine sheen, with none of the wooliness that tends to cling even to Sierra’s best games. The inability to die or get yourself irrevocably stuck means that you’re free to just enjoy the ride — free, for instance, to choose the funniest line of dialog in any conversation without hesitation, safe in the knowledge that you’ll be able to do it over again if it all goes horribly wrong. “The player is never, ever punished for doing something funny,” wrote Charles Ardai, the best writer ever to work for Computer Gaming World magazine, in his typically perceptive review of the game. “Doing funny things is the whole point of Day of the Tentacle.”

Although Grossman and Schafer were and are bright, funny guys, their game’s sparkle didn’t come from its designers’ innate brilliance alone. By 1993, LucasArts had claimed Infocom’s old place as makers of the most consistently excellent adventure games you could buy. And as with the Infocom of old, their games’ quality was largely down to a commitment to process, including a willingness to work through the hard, unfun aspects of game development which so many of their peers tended to neglect. Throughout the development of Day of the Tentacle, Grossman and Schafer hosted periodic “pizza orgies,” first for LucasArts’s in-house employees, later for people they quite literally nabbed off the street. They watched these people play their game — always a humbling and useful experience for any designer — and solicited as much feedback thereafter as their guinea pigs could be convinced to give. Which parts of the game were most fun? Which parts were less fun? Which puzzles felt too trivial? Which puzzles felt too hard? They asked their focus groups what they had tried to do that hadn’t worked, and made sure to code in responses to these actions. As Bob Bates, another superb adventure-game designer, put it to me recently, most of what the player tries to do in an adventure game is wrong in terms of advancing her toward victory. A game’s handling of these situations — the elses in the “if, then, else” model of game logic — can make or break it. It can spell the difference between a lively, “juicy” game that feels engaging and interesting and a stubbornly inscrutable blank wall — the sort of game that tells you things don’t work but never tells you why. And of course these else scenarios are a great place to embed subtle hints as to the correct course of action.

Indeed, Grossman and Schafer continually asked themselves the same question in the context of every single puzzle in the game: “How is the player supposed to figure this out?” Grossman:

That [question] has stuck with me as a hallmark of good versus bad adventure-game design. Lots of people design games that make the designer seem clever — or they’re doing it to make themselves feel clever. They’ve forgotten that they’re in the entertainment business. The player should be involved in this thing too. We always went to great lengths to make sure all the information was in there. At these “pizza orgies,” one of the things we were always looking for was, are people getting stuck? And why?

The use of three different characters in three completely different environments also helps the game to avoid that sensation every adventurer dreads: that of being absolutely stuck, unable to jog anything lose because of one stubborn roadblock of a puzzle. If a puzzle stumps you in Day of the Tentacle, there’s almost always another one to go work on instead while the old one is relegated to the brain’s background processing, as it were.

And yet, as in everything, there is a balance to strike here as well: gating in adventure design is an art in itself. Grossman:

We were very focused on making things non-linear, but what we weren’t thinking about was that it’s possible to take that too far. Then you get a paralysis of choice. There’s kind of a sweet spot in the middle between the player being lost because they have too much to do and the player feeling railroaded because you’re telling them what to do. People don’t like either of those extremes very much, but somewhere in the middle, it’s like, “I’ve got enough stuff to think about, and I’m accomplishing some things, and I’ve got some new challenges.” That’s the right spot.

Day of the Tentacle nails this particular sweet spot, as it does so many others. It could never have done so absent extensive testing and — just as importantly — an open-mindedness on the part of its designers about what the testers were saying. It’s due to a lack of these two things that the adventure games of LucasArts’s rivals tended to go off the rails more often than not.

In addition to the superb puzzle design, Day of the Tentacle looks and sounds great — even today, even in its non-remastered version. The graphics are not only technically excellent but also evince an aesthetic sophistication rare in games of this era. The art department was greatly inspired by the classic Warner Bros. cartoons of Chuck Jones — Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Wile. E. Coyote and the Road Runner, etc. One day near the beginning of the project, the entire team made a field trip to sit at the feet of the 80-year-old Jones for a day and absorb some of his wisdom. Warner Bros. cartoons were always more visually skewed, more manic, and more deviously subversive than the straighter, more wholesome reels of Disney, and both the visuals and writing in Day of the Tentacle consciously mimic their style. Just as in the cartoons, there isn’t a straight line or right angle to be seen anywhere in the game. Everything, right down to the font in which text is printed, is bent, leaning, crooked, a fun-house world viewed through a fish-eye lens.

The art team, the unsung heroes of Day of the Tentacle. Standing from left to right are Lela Dowling, Sean Turner, Larry Ahern, and Peter Chan. Kneeling in front are Jesse Clark and Purple Tentacle. One additional artist, Kyle Balda, wasn’t present for this photograph.

Peter Chan, one of the artists on the team, notes that Grossman and Schafer “really trusted us and just let us go to town with what we believed would look best. If anybody on the art team had a good idea or suggestion, it was considered.” Here’s Schafer, speaking in an interview at the time of the game’s release, and obviously somewhat in awe himself at what LucasArts’s animators have come up with:

The kids have all kinds of grimaces and gestures and facial twists and contortions while they’re talking. They smile and their mouths open bigger than their heads and their tongues can hang out. They don’t just stand there. They blink, tap their feet, sigh, and even scratch their butts.

As soon as a character appears, you laugh, and that’s really important. You stare at the main characters for about thirty hours when you play the game, so they’d better be entertaining. With Bernard, as soon as you see him walking around for the first time, before he even says or does anything, you laugh. He walks goofy, he talks goofy, he’s even entertaining when he stands still. Walking Hoagie around is like piloting a blimp through a china shop, and Laverne is fun just to walk around because she seems to have a mind of her own — like she might do something dangerous at any moment.

The sound effects are drawn from the same well of classic animation. LucasArts actually bought many of them from a “major cartoon house,” resulting in all of the good old “boings” and “ka-pows” you might expect.

Tamlynn Bara in the production booth at Studio 222.

And the voice acting too is strikingly good. LucasArts was better equipped than almost any of the other game studios to adapt to the brave new world of CD-ROM audio, thanks to the connections which went along with being a subsidiary of a major film-production company. The actors’ dialog, totaling more than 4500 lines in all, was recorded at Hollywood’s Studio 222 under the supervision of a LucasArts associate producer named Tamlynn Barra. Although still in her twenties at the time, she had previously worked with many stage and video productions. She was thus experienced enough to recognize and find ways to counteract the most fundamental challenge of recording voice work for a computer game: the fact that the actors are expected to voice their lines alone in a production box, with no other actors to play off of and, too often, little notion of the real nature of the scene being voiced. “Getting the actors into character is very difficult,” she acknowledged. “Half the studio [time] is spent cueing up the actor for the scene.” And yet the fact that she knew she had to do this cueing was in a way half the battle. In contrast to many other computer-game productions — even those featuring a stellar cast of experienced actors, such as Interplay’s two contemporaneous Star Trek adventures — Day of the Tentacle has an auditory liveliness to it. It rarely feels as if the actor is merely reading lines off a page in a sound-proof booth, even if that’s exactly what she’s doing in reality.

Jane Jacobs, who voiced the Irish maid found inside the present-day mansion, performs before the microphone.

Unsurprisingly given LucasArts’s connections, the voice actors, while not household names, were seasoned professionals who arrived with their union cards in hand. The most recognizable among them was Richard Sanders, best known for playing the lovable but inept newscaster Les Nessman on the classic television sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. During their initial discussions with Barra, Grossman and Schafer had actually suggested Les as the specific role model for Bernard, whereupon Barra made inquiries and found that Sanders was in fact available. He really was a perfect fit for Bernard; the character was “a bit of a stretch” for him, he said with a wink, because he was used to playing “more manly sorts of roles.”

Barra found the other voice talent using a process typical of television and radio productions but not so much of computer games: she sent sketches and descriptions of the characters out to Hollywood agents, who called their clients in to record audition tapes of their impressions. Then she and the rest of the development team chose their favorites. Many another game studio, by contrast, was recruiting its voice talent from its secretarial pool.

All of it led to an end result that feels today like it’s come unstuck from the time which spawned it. Certainly my own feeling upon firing up Day of the Tentacle for the first time in preparation for this article was that I had crossed some threshold into modernity after living in the ancient past for all of the years I’d previously been writing this blog. This impression is undoubtedly aided by the way that LucasArts steered clear of the approaches that generally date a game indelibly to the mid-1990s. Just to name the most obvious dubious trend they managed to resist: there are no digitized images of real actors shoehorned into this game via once cutting-edge, now aesthetically disastrous full-motion-video sequences.

Yet the impression of modernity encompasses more than the game’s audiovisual qualities; it really does encompass the sum total of the experience of playing it. The interface too just works the way a modern player would expect it to; no need to pick up a manual here to figure out how to play, even if you’ve never played an adventure game before. (The sole exception to this rule is the save system, which still requires you to know to press the F5 key in order to access it. On the other hand, keeping it hidden away does allow the game to avoid cluttering up its carefully honed aesthetic impression with a big old disk icon or the like.) Polish is a difficult quality to quantify, but I nevertheless feel fairly confident in calling Day of the Tentacle the most polished computer game made up to its release date of mid-1993. It looks and feels like a professional media production in every way.

The most telling sign in Day of the Tentacle of how far computer gaming had come in a very short time is found on an in-game computer in the present-day mansion. There you’ll find a complete and fully functional version of the original Maniac Mansion in all its blocky, pixelated, bobble-headed glory. This game within a game was inspired by an off-hand comment which Grossman and Schafer had heard Ron Gilbert make during the Monkey Island 2 project: that the entirety of Maniac Mansion had been smaller than some of the individual animation sequences in this, LucasArts’s latest game. Placed in such direct proximity to its progeny, Maniac Mansion did indeed look “downright primitive,” wrote Charles Ardai in his review of Day of the Tentacle. “Only nostalgia or curiosity will permit today’s gamers to suffer through what was once state-of-the-art but is by today’s standards crude.” And yet it had only been six years…

Ardai concluded his review by writing that “it may not hold up for fifty years, like the cartoons that inspired it, but I expect that this game will keep entertaining people for quite some time to come.” And it’s here that I must beg to differ with his otherwise perceptive review. From the perspective of today, halfway already to the game’s 50th anniversary, Day of the Tentacle still holds up perfectly well as one of the finest examples ever of the subtle art of the adventure game. I see no reason why that should change in the next quarter-century and beyond.

(Sources: Computer Gaming World of July 1993 and September 1993; LucasArts’s newsletter The Adventurer of Fall 1992 and Spring 1993; Play of April 2005; Retro Gamer 22 and 81; Video Games and Computer Entertainment of July 1993. Online sources include Dev Game Club podcast 19; Celia Pearce’s conversation with Tim Schafer for Game Studies; 1Up‘s interview with Tim Schafer; The Dig Museum‘s interview with Dave Grossman; Adventure Gamers‘s interview with Dave Grossman.

A remastered version of Day of the Tentacle is available for purchase on GOG.com.)

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/day-of-the-tentacle/

William’s Summer Vacation

Starting Summer Vacation Oliver wanted to get to know his son. It has been an exhausting spring with what Prometheus and crew had brought to his team and himself. Having a long conversation with Felicity and then including Samantha to their plans. Oliver was able to breathe a sigh of relief that least everyone was on the same page. All he needed was to ask William if he wanted to hang with him throughout the summer.

With Samantha and William looking out the balcony of the loft, Oliver was finishing up dinner while Felicity set the settings on the table. She has been cheering him on which he appreciates. God he loves her and the fact they she turned the tables and asked him to marry her shortly after their reunion in Lian Yu. He has been on cloud nine for days.

Felicity had her tablet on the counter ready for Oliver to suggest as many as these with William in the coming weeks before they would head back to where Samantha’s parents lived. She figured after this ordeal she wanted to be with her own family and William was moving with her.

“William” Oliver called out as both he and his mother walked back indoors. William came to a halt and took the tablet his dad was offering. Looking down at it he smiled but then grimaced and said, “Nothing to do with stuff like this.” He pointed and Oliver noted that Outdoor activities like camping; fishing and forest like adventures were a no go.

Looking down he read the article that Felicity flagged for him.

 Top 10: Father-Son Activities: 10 Activities That Will Bring You Closer To Dad Than Ever Before

Even if you’re lucky enough to live with your son full-time, it’s always a challenge to find enough time to devote to him. The father-son activities we’ve put together fit a number of criteria: They are reasonably simple and inexpensive, and they provide mutual benefit and enjoyment. Above all, each father-son activity works well as a platform for instilling your values and teaching lessons to your son. Sometimes, the message is subtle, but that’s often how a lasting impression is made. If one of these father-son activities sticks and you both enjoy doing it, make it a tradition. Without further ado, here are our Top 10: Father-Son Activities.

 A few already were not happening so he crossed them out:

9. Camping

3. Fishing or hunting

 10. Gaming

You might usually try to get your son away from the Xbox as much as possible, but if he enjoys it and plays games appropriate for his age and maturity level, moderate gaming gives you an opportunity to share in an activity he already loves. Anyway, video games are like breasts: They’re meant for kids, but grown-ups like them too. Plus, playing with your son is a good way to monitor the games he plays and control the amount of time he spends on them. When you’re in the game with him, you can keep your hand-eye coordination sharp while teaching him how to play fair.

So they were going to go down the list and at number 10. Felicity made popcorn she was so going to enjoy this video game competition between Oliver “games are a waste of time” and ‘game master’ Bill.

“What was that?” Oliver questioned making a peculiar face.

“That dad was you face being zapped by that ugly alien dude.” He laughed happily as his father squirmed.

Felicity took out her camera as the boys were oblivious to the outside world and took some photos.

“Dad, you got to stop dying. These aliens aren’t going to be defeated otherwise.”

“Stop whining. What does this one button do on the controller again?” Oliver losing focus as he kept struggling to get the right functions in. Felicity slide by his side and pecked his cheek. While William was on the rug staring at the large screen pressing buttons a mile a minute.

“You’re doing great honey.” She whispered into his ear. He turned his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. He was doing horrible against the alien invasion. He slid the control into her hands and nodded to the TV. He asked for help with a silent ‘help’ and Felicity took the controller and partially paying attention started to kick the attackers. Oliver brought her into his arms as he watched two people he loved very much take down virtual rogues.

“Dad, awesome you just…” William said excitedly until he saw who was playing. A big grin crossed his face and he went for a fist bump and Felicity happily returned. “Now let’s take them down.”

8. Sporting events

It may be one of the most popular father-son activities, but it’s also where a lot of guys sap the quality out of the experience. How many times have you gone to a sporting event only to have it tainted by a rude, drunk guy? It’s embarrassing to even be in his section. But here’s your chance to be a bigger man than the obnoxious drunk guy. Remember: You have to set the example of enthusiasm and team spirit without poor sportsmanship. It also helps to be in a kid-friendly atmosphere, so check out a college or amateur game. If they don’t offer free admission, it’s usually low-dough. You’ll probably be closer to the action too. 

As mayor Oliver is asked to attend functions all over the city and even within the state. He usually passes due to his night time activities but he has been looking forward to a wrestling match and with William and Dig by his side he was sure they would have a good time.

“Can’t believe Felicity and Lyla turned this opportunity down.” William says as he shakes his head.

Oliver and John give each other knowing glances. John knows of Oliver discomfort in watching Felicity ogle other half naked men while they work out and Oliver knows that John dislikes that Lyla breaks down each performance as to worthy or unworthy combatants. They want to enjoy the flashy sport as it is meant to be enjoyed.

So a little more than half way through the show the rowdy guys a few seats down start chanting for Diamondust to finally pick his competitor for the fanfest show coming up.

Diamondust nods and starts spewing out comical wording of who he picks will get their ass handed to them. Noticing a famous face of Oliver Queen he starts to target the well-known man who is now mayor of Star City.

Oliver Queen’s love life becomes front and center as Diamondust targets it with a fever. John knows that it could get out of hand fast and whispers, “We can head out.”

“No.” Oliver says under his breath. Though he sandwiches William between Dig and himself. When Felicity Smoak’s name is ushered from the man in the ring Oliver reacts by balling his fists yet makes no move. The men a few rows back start chanting inappropriate Smoak references Diamandust calls out to Oliver, “Felicity who? I don’t think she’s relevant. Isn’t she last year’s model?”

Getting a ding on her tablet that both her name and Oliver’s were in the news she turned the news station on while waiting on Oliver and William to come home and saw Oliver run into the ring in one impressive jump and accept the challenge spitting out her drink. “What the hell.”

7. Bicycling

Whether it’s on a road bike, mountain bike or hybrid, bicycling is great exercise for both of you. It’s relaxing to hit a bike trail away from traffic and you can bond with your son as you take in the scenery. It can be habit-forming too. If your son takes a real interest in it, he just might continue biking into adulthood, and that’s a healthy habit you can be proud to have helped foster.

William already enjoyed biking so taking a stroll Sunday morning with his dad was no problem that was until some ladies seem to follow them around. One thing he noticed that hanging with either his father or soon to be step-mother there was no privacy.

Stopping at their tracks while in the park as kids were running across the bike path some of the bicyclists started a conversation with his dad.  

“Mr. Mayor, I love your incentive on the new bike paths across the city.” Blonde 1 stated.

“Are we going to see you biking more? Maybe join a team?” Blonde 2 asked.

His dad replied nicely and the ladies plus some new ones to the conversation kept him occupied and William getting bored of this asked his dad, “Dad, the path is free again can we go now?”

Oliver looked at his son than at the small gathering crowd and made his apologies as he took back to cycling with his son.

“That happens a lot huh?” William asked at a crossing. His dad just shrugged being in public this sort of thing happened it was his normal William really didn’t like it.

6. Cooking

Your son should know there’s more to life than microwave burritos. If prefab food is the extent of your own culinary skills, it’s never too late to right the course. You can experiment and learn together. Cooking a meal — a real meal — is something that’s actually fun if you’re patient and willing to practice a little. Your son will soon realize that great-tasting meals are possible with healthy ingredients. This is another habit he can develop further as he matures; everyone knows women dig guys who can cook.

Walking in to the loft and seeing your son and the love of your life sitting at the counter waiting for the microwave ding made him shake his head. They loved those gross chicken nuggets.

“I can whip something up that be even taster?” Oliver pronounced as he walked towards them. “Come on Will, its next on our list of activities.”

“But… I like chicken nuggets.” He looked at his dad than back to Felicity. “It tastes good.” Felicity overwhelming nodded in agreement.

“How about dinner we make up a dish I’ve been meaning to try?” Oliver standing before them and the microwave as William nodded and got excited when the microwave finished cooking his lunch. Both he and Felicity happily took the tray as Oliver trying to show disgust in this duos excitement.

After the day’s activities William was in the kitchen with his dad. One thing he noticed is that his dad really enjoyed cooking it mellowed him out. He has been a very overprotective dad. Guess being the Green Arrow slash mayor kind of made his dad intense.

“So William, add those two ingredients in the pan as I stir this mixture then after I’ll cut some more vegetables and you can mix in the broth.” Oliver instructed.

“Dad, you forgot to get this ingredient.” William pointed out.

“Ah, no I didn’t forget, Felicity allergic to nuts.” As Oliver looks at the recipe over his son’s shoulder.

“Now it makes sense.”

“What?” Oliver looks at his boy.

“None of the cupboards holds peanut butter.”

“You never asked.”

William shrugged then answered, “I’d go home and mom had peanut crackers waiting for me.”

“Oh, well for Felicity’s sake there is nothing here that could hurt her.”

“That makes sense.” He shakes his head and adds an afterthought, “She can’t get hurt.”

They worked well and the little convo they had going on was well worth this father-son activity.

 5. Working around the house

We're not suggesting you dole out chores to your son while you crash on the couch. Instead, you have to work together. Show him how things work around the house, as well as how they’re maintained and repaired. You’ll obviously do most of the work, but let him watch while you explain the process. He’ll respect you for being able to solve problems, and you’ll lay the foundation for him to do the same. By the time he’s old enough to take on light tasks by himself, he’ll have learned the responsibility and value of maintaining his home.

“Oh frack” Felicity mumbled as she glanced at the broken disposal.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked as he headed her way.

“I think it’s stuck again?”

William put down his comic book as he was absently reading upside down on the sofa nearest the window.

“Dad, can I help. Isn’t it the next thing on the list?”

Oliver looked at his boy and nodded. “Okay Will we’ll be fixing this shortly.” Felicity was about to interrupt not like she can’t fix it herself but looking at her boys she just thanks them and lets them do their thing.

“Okie dokie.” As William puts down the comic and waits to be of any use.

His dad shows him where the circuit breaker is for this and shuts it while giving him a small lecture about safety. They go through many steps from using the reset to forcing it back and forth in both directions a few times to free the impellers. They finally get it working and high five each other.

4. Automotive maintenance

Here’s a lost art that deserves a big revival. You’ve seen features on AskMen about reclaiming your manhood, right? Here’s a perfect example: There’s nothing manly about another guy changing your oil. It’s downright emasculating, in fact. Remember when you were a kid and you helped your dad with the family car, most likely holding the flashlight and handing him tools? OK, forget how funny it was to hear him smack his knuckles and utter half a curse before censoring himself and whipping the tool aside. Teaching your son the basics of automotive care is valuable on many levels. First, he probably digs cars anyway, so it’ll be an easy way to bond. Second, when he gets his own wheels, he’ll already know the basics of car care and the consequences if he doesn’t perform maintenance.

His dad won’t let him ride on his bike yet but at least he gets to help his dad maintain it. Being on the list and all. His dad hands him a checklist:

A motorcycle requires a lot of maintenance. ...

Keep It Clean. ...

Change The Oil. ...

Check The Chain. ...

Give Your Tires Lots of Love. ...

Check Those Cables. ...

Hardware Maintenance is Important. ...

Taking Care of the Battery.

Motorcycles are different from automobiles because you only have two wheels to take you down the road, and one loose bolt on a bike can mean the difference between an enjoyable ride or an incident.

They clean the Ducati and inspect the bike which already had an oil change recently so Oliver shows him some chains as he lubricates them.  They go down the list as Oliver then surprises William with a helmet and gives his son his first motorcycle ride.

2. Playing with radio-controlled vehicles

Here’s an underrated activity that has an almost cult-like following. If you haven’t considered a radio-controlled car, plane or boat, give one a go. You’ll probably find it easy to pick up and tough to stop — it can be really addictive. Meanwhile, your son’s hand-eye coordination will be tested and improved while he practices teamwork and good sportsmanship around you and other RC hobbyists. Some of the most basic RC toys are really inexpensive and will give your son a fun introduction to the pastime. As he grows, the vehicles can grow with him, getting more challenging along the way.

Felicity comes home with a grin happy Curtis holding a box.

Oliver has already sprung from the sofa to meet with his girl while William gets up slowly and heads to give Felicity a hug. They have missed their girl while she was away for hours leaving them to watch TV or really let his dad catch up on some work.

“So what’s in the box?”

“So glad you asked.” Says Curtis as he gives the boy the box.

“It’s not his birthday.” Oliver automatically replied he didn’t want to spoil his son. Both Felicity and Curtis rolled their eyes.

“Oh wow.” William said animatedly. “It a…”

“Radio-controlled vehicle.” Oliver finished looking at Felicity.

Felicity smiled as she explained, “The reason why I asked you not to shop for one of these is well when you started this list I already asked Curtis to help me build a one of a kind bad ass RC toy.”

“Oh she did more than that, she has both of you enrolled in a competition tomorrow” Curtis smirked.

Oliver looked at her surprised is that why she blocked his calendar for tomorrow telling him it was a family day?

The trophy on the mantle proudly displays first place.

1. Playing sports

You could bore your son to death with pointless, embellished ramblings about your glory days or you could shake off the rust and show him by doing it yourself. The lessons he’ll learn include sportsmanship, coordination, discipline, and teamwork. It’ll all be lost on him, however, if you don’t set the standard yourself. It’s not about winning or losing for either of you; it’s about teaching the aforementioned skills while getting some exercise. Let your son have a say in which sport you choose to play. Forcing one on him will result in diminished returns; he won’t enjoy it as much and he’ll get less out of the whole experience.

Grabbing the soccer ball Oliver headed back to the field. His friends and family all here to play ball. It was a beautiful day and enjoying every moment with people he cared about was the best feeling in the world.

William looked at his dad and smiled the huge grin on his father’s face as he tormented well really taunted some of his closest friends was great to see. Hearing stories about how serious his dad was and how over the years his dad started to live again. He was blessed to have this family. Really blessed.

 And there it is... Thanks for reading!!!

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