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clarionglass · 3 years

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my pal @trekthecyborgwizard sent me this re these: Got your back for the fanfic asks, can I have questions G, L, P, S and T?

thanks man! here we go :D

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? ahahaha ahahahahahahahahaha oh boy do i write out of order, i write where the inspiration is and then link up the scenes as needed. my docs are usually liberally peppered with [square brackets], which mean “there’s something that needs to go here but i don’t want to write it at the moment” :’D this works very well with the chatfic, although i only try to only write one chapter at a time and jump around within that (ask me how that’s going, i dare you). it works less well with my plotted longform fics where i write all the cool bits and then have to actually link stuff in a way that makes narrative sense :P still, if i force myself to sit down and write chronologically it never works out, so this is where we’re at i guess :D

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? let me laugh maniacally again :P most of my fics i do not revise. like, there’s a lot of minor editing during the writing process? but i don’t actually sit there and do a dedicated edit (other than a ctrl+f sweep for square brackets, for reasons detailed above :P), which leads to me reading my posted fic back, and realising i’ve used entirely the wrong word, or forgotten a very simple formatting thing :P if i wasn’t just writing fic for fun, i’d definitely edit! but for me, the writing is enough of a job, so i just like to release it out into the wild as soon as i’m done getting plot on paper :P

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?) it depends on the fic! my longform fics are all plotted in advance, i love working out the nuggets and intricacies of how stories unfold. the chatfic, though, has been entirely on the spot, and the plot threads have evolved naturally. that’s been a real gardening-type fic, that one! the germs of my plot arcs have never been planned, they’ve all come from throwaway lines and 1am shower ideas that have miraculously all panned out into a coherent narrative. i think my subconscious is a better writer than my conscious mind :’D

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? to paraphrase That Meme, i’m always a slut for chatfics :’D idk, there’s something about chatfics in the tma fandom that just mean pure unfiltered shenanigans, which make me incredibly happy! i adore lighter aus that allow characters to breathe :) in the words of a message i sent a mate fairly recently: i need to take these characters gently into my grubby little hands and transplant them into better soil (a message that led to my best accidental summary of s2!jon: “touch grass you paranoid little man”)

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand? not really? i’ll give most things a shot! there are pairings that i stay away from, and things with dubcon type content warnings generally aren’t my jam, but i don’t think that there are any specific tropes i hate :P Oh Wait no big-miscommunication-as-a-plot-device makes me want to cringe into my lungs so yeah that should be on here :P

#trekthecyborgwizard #clari speaks #clari writes #ask games #long post

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damejanai · 4 years

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Dame raji

2020.09.09

K: Ahhh ....nobody noticed at all huh... S: !! Ahhh K: Right? S: I'll go ahead and say it okay? K: Alright S: You dyed your hair K: Yes! S: Wahhhhh K: There's a reason for this S: Reason?

K: I've mentioned it here and there about Ive been watching "tokai on air (youtube channel)' S: Uh huh K: My favorite members from there are shibayu and tetsuya S: I see K: Their hairstyles are really striking S: I see I see K: One has orange hair and one is blonde, so I decided to go with red, which is one of their theme colours, and went to the salon. I went to one that had a review saying 'they're good at doing mens casual hairstyles' S: wwwwww K: I dyed my hair there.. But I totally chickened out. S: Haha! K: Hahahaha S: Knowing how you wanted to dye it red, this is a little... K: I totally chickened out. The stylist asked, "it's gonna be quite red, is it okay?" When I was asked, " is it okay?" , I couldn't say yes S: Ahahahhaaa, so did you bleach it? K: Yes I was at the part about whether to bleach it or not S: Ahahaha K: I chickened out from there. I asked if it could be red, without bleaching, they said it could be done ...and showed me the colour.. "Ahhh that's really red.... " I said. And asked them if I could do it darker S: hahahaa K: It looked as good as brown but maybe the red can be seen...? So I told them to go with that.... Brown, Hhahahaha S: Yeah, if you didn't mention no one would have K: But if I walked in with red hair everyone would be shocked right? S: Very~ K: Righhhhht S: So did you ask your agency whether it was okay? K: Huh? Why S: You didn't ask? K: I didn't, Well it's my own hair. So, did any one realise ? See? No! I specially said the word red a lot at our meeting just now.... S: Ahahahahahaa Well there's no way we can tell what you were thinking! S: I want to dye my hair blue! I've actually dyed my hair blue but it looked black. But it would look blue under the light. K: Like Yusa san S: Yeah I thought Yusa san looked really cool I wanted to do it too. Who here realised? K: Whoa amazing! S: Yay!!!! K: Why didn't anyone notice mine?! S: Ahahahaha K: Well I know actually, it's just not red. Let's retake our dameraji poster with me in red hair and soma san can dye your hair a little blue or something S: Ohhhh, but I would like to try it K: If it's part of this programme it's easier to do it! I want someone to give me a push S: I see. You know I love the main character in persona 3, I want to dye my hair blue and let it grow long. I wanna do it I wanna do it! K: That's good! S: I'll do it I'll do it K: How about it? Ehhh they said okay! But there's no okay from 81 produce S: Ahahhhaha K: There's sacra music too right? S: But I'd like to do it~~ K: It could be interesting .... Red huh.... S: You could make it a little redder K: You didn't realise? S: Well... Umm... It's brown !

--- ~Topic on video editing and software~ S: With music too, when the number of stuff you can do increases, you'd want to use less of it and go the traditional way. Like going by chord theory, after this chord, usually this chord follows, if you've grasped this concept, the type of songs you can write broadens K: Oooooh S: Please continue to listen to me K: I'm listening S: Were you really listening? K: I was I was, I'm just doing that while looking at the acrylic board S: hahahahaha, you're like not looking me in the eye but looking at my reflection in the acrylic board K: No I'm looking at my own reflection S: Yourself! K: I was thinking about how brown it is hahahaha S: That's like what you always scold me about. Not to look at my phone when others are talking to me K: I was really listening!! S: And so.... I realised that with all these programs I start to lose flexibility. Like there are tons of stuff I can do with the programs nowadays, but when I listen to my demos from years ago K: Uh huh S: Although the quality of those are really low, I really felt like producing those songs K: Ahhhh. So like with the PC, there's a limit to the things we can do on it S: True K: If it's for music, you can put in the guitar sounds but there's definitely something limiting your creativity S: Totally K: The times when people were just composing on their own guitars was more free S: Ahahaha K: Told you I was listening?! S: Umm thank you! It just brings the image of Ishikawa san strumming the guitar, like 'back in the day' kind if feeling. Strumming the guitar in the sunset, with red hair K: I played shitty songs... But we had the most freedom then. S: Ahahahaha K: Ahahahaha S: You're so convincing, somehow K: I've not touched a guitar ever since I bought one in high school just to play "Fuwa fuwa time". It was impossible S: Yeahhh but it's true, and songs in the past were more weird.. Like it wouldnt turn out like that normally. Like I said that I added dissonance in the intro of my song "Petrichor", but it's not about that K: Uh... Huh? S: Ahahahaha K: What do you mean? S: What I mean is, I've been listening to songs from long ago and thinking that they're really good, but I'm also working hard on my songs now ---

About the Summerholic! MV S: We rented a house studio, and they got ready ao many props for us, like video games, beach ball, jenga. K: ooh ooh S: I had so much fun, but because there were too many things and it was so fun, I toppled the Jenga blocks quite early on K: Uh, that's purely, clumsiness, not that you had too much fun S: Ahhhhaa, I sat on the sofa and played with the watermelon shaped beach ball and hit my right leg K: Ahahahaa you S: It crumbled like Jenga K: Ahhh that's like hard to put back together S: Yea they gave up putting the Jenga back K: Ahhh leaving it toppled is more indoor-like... Leaving it messy ~ Dame raji photo studio ~ This time the photos were mainly focused on the hair, so that the colour can be seen

[DOWNLOAD]

Please download from this link:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Yp5Xdwi4_z03jPajH9BEbL7R02brXk8P?usp=sharing

#dameraji #dame janai radio #ishikawa kaito #saito soma

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justkeeptrekkin · 4 years

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OCD! What the fuck is it? WELL-

Recently, I started to find out more about OCD and what it means. It was with research that I realised that I fit into the criteria- I’m now talking to my therapist about how to work on my more distressing obsessions and compulsions.

There’s still a very strong voice in my head that i’m making this up, that i’m being a self-diagnosing idiot (that’s anxiety for you!), even though I have my therapist’s support. But the truth is: the reason I feel that way is because I spent so long misunderstanding OCD, that it seems impossible that I could have it. There is almost no real awareness of what OCD means.

OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Obsessions and compulsions can be many, many different things.

Obsessions= the thoughts

Compulsions= the subsequent behaviours

Compulsions

Let’s start with compulsions, since these are the things that people notice first about an OCD sufferer.

1. Common Compulsions/Behaviours

The most well-known compulsions that you might come across:

Checking

Tidying and cleaning

Rearranging objects

Washing/grooming yourself

These are the compulsions that you’ll SEE. You see them on telly. You’d expect to see these in someone with OCD. Everyone does some of these things to some extent- which is how you get people being like

“OMG I’M sooooooo ocd ahahaha”

Not only does that trivialise the intense anxiety and suffering that people with OCD go through, it’s also just like. Wrong.

2. The Undiscussed Compulsions

It’s the huge lack of awareness and misunderstanding of how OCD works that means that it wasn’t until a few months ago that I found out that these are also examples of compulsions:

Over-apologising

Constantly seeking reassurance

Mental compulsions/punishments

guilt-tripping yourself

special words repeated

special prayers repeated in a particular way

going over past events over and over (perhaps trying to convince yourself that you’ve done something terrible)

Avoiding places or situations

Collecting/hoarding

Counting

Bodily habits such as rubbing skin, or dermatillomania (which is when you obsessively pick at your skin)

Being overly-superstitious (eg. if I don’t salute that single magpie, I’ll get in a car accident)

Compulsions can be covert. That means, they can be mental- like praying to yourself obsessively in your head- so no one else witnesses them. An example of overt compulsions, that is a habit that is physical/seen, is tidying.

“Typically, the individual experiences a sense of resistance to the act but this is overridden by the strong, subjective drive to perform the action. Most often the principal aim behind the compulsive behaviour is to generate relief (usually only temporary) from the anxiety elicited by the preceding obsession.”

Obsessions

Now that we’ve talked about the compulsions, the things that people might see in their OCD suffering friends and family: all these behaviours/compulsions are all caused by obsessions.

1. Common Obsessions

Sometimes, an obsession is seeing something and your monkey brain saying THAT DOESN’T LOOK RIGHT. IT’S WRONG. VERY WRONG. so you get a huge bout of anxiety and uneasiness- maybe feelings that something will go wrong if you don’t fix it immediately. So then you have to fix it somehow- maybe tidying or rearranging or cleaning. (These are the compulsions.)

This is probably the most well known obsession associated with OCD. I get this a little bit, but not a lot, which is why I didn’t realised I had OCD till like, last week.

There are so many ways that OCD manifests. They are very often to do with an anxiety, or fear about:

Contamination

harm/being unsafe

body/physical symptoms

symmetry and ‘perfection’

Feeling that you have done, or will do something bad (for example that you’re going to cause an accident whilst driving, or that the thing you did three years ago will get you arrested)

These all can overlap with each other. A fear of being unsafe is linked to a fear that something bad will happen, for example.

2. Intrusive Thoughts As Obsessions

BUT HERE’S THE BIGGEST MISUNDERSTANDING ABOUT OCD: WE ALSO GET INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS, AND OBSESS OVER THEM.

Intrusive thoughts are weird, random, sometimes violent thoughts that just pop into your head seemingly out of nowhere. For example: “Hey, how about we just like drop kick that toddler lol” or “how about we stand up in the middle of this silent meeting and shout BOLLLOOOOCCCCKKKKS”

Now, everyone gets intrusive thoughts, to some extent. We tend to look at that thought and go

- and then move on.

So like, people with OCD can’t just move on. We obsess over the thought. We wonder why we got the thought; we punish ourselves for the thought; we avoid particular situations for fear that we’re going to act out the thought; we give the thought weight. We develop compulsions to negate the thought.

Examples that cause OCD sufferers intense distress and recur, are thoughts of the following nature:

Violence (towards yourself or others)

Sexual

of being a pedophile

of assaulting someone

of cheating

of incest

of being homosexual/straight when you aren’t

Suicidal thoughts (this is not the same as planning suicide. If you are planning your suicide in detail rather than suddenly experiencing a distressing thought about it, then you should call Samaritans xxxx)

That you’re about to hurt someone (such as accidentally poisoning someone)

The way that these intrusive thoughts work tends to be self-sabotaging. It’s your mind’s way of identifying what you care about most, and trying to ruin it for you. For example, a mother might have the sudden, unwanted thought of throwing their baby out of a window. Or, a parent/guardian/teacher might have the intrusive thought that they could be a pedophile. There could be many reasons why your mind does this, and the triggers are personal. Each OCD person should discuss these thoughts with their counsellor or therapist to find out what the route of this thinking is.

3. Do I Have OCD? Does My Friend/Family Member Have OCD?

The main thing to remember for anyone out there who suffers intrusive thoughts is: these thoughts don’t mean that you are what they say you are. It’s kind of the opposite. Because if they disgust you and cause you so much distress, it means that you are desperately, urgently NOT that thing. Intrusive thoughts telling you that you want to sleep with a family member, for example, doesn’t mean that you actually want to. Your OCD brain has identified something/someone you care about, and is trying to ruin it for you.

“To sufferers and non-sufferers alike, the thoughts and fears related to OCD can often seem profoundly shocking. It must be stressed, however, that they are just thoughts, and they are not voluntarily produced. Neither are they fantasies or impulses which will be acted upon.”

About me: Obsessions: I have every single one of those intrusive thoughts, a lot. I get them when I’m particularly stressed; I get them when I’m in a really good place, and my mind is trying to ‘save myself’ from failure/rejection by ruining it. I also get the feeling of intense dread that I’ve done something wrong: even though I can’t think of a single reason why I would. I obsess over flu/cold symptoms, thinking I have meningitis. I obsess over my spending. I obsess over not being comfortable in bed, specifically my duvet (it’s not in the right place, it’s not symmetrical, the duvet isn’t in the corners properly....) I obsess over the presence of a person next to me in a bed; regardless of who it is, it gives me intense anxiety if I’m sharing a bed. Honestly- not many people have witnessed my physical/tidying obsessions because they’re all routed in sleeping habits and beds. My compulsions range from over-apologising, seeking reassurance, dermatillomania, over-counting my finances and spending, guilt-tripping myself, praying in A Particular Way Or Satan Will Find Me, repeating mantras, going over past events at every angle until I want to cry because I’ve made myself feel so guilty about something that wasn’t actually my fault. And messing with my bed until it looks like I’m lying under a perfectly straight, unwrinkled sheet of paper. And also kicking people out of my bed, or sleeping on the floor to avoid sharing.

If you think you display some of the above in this post, you may or may not have OCD! Either way, you are not alone.

If you know someone who displays some of the above, listen to them. Try not to judge them. Try not to give them reassurance that their intrusive thoughts will never come to fruition: as odd as that sounds, that tends to fan the flame of the compulsions, rather than help.

Go forward and be free. Lots of love. x <3

#ocd #cw mental health #tw suicide #tw violence #tw sex mention #obsessive compulsive disorder #i chat shit

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lady-plantagenet · 4 years

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♦▼ for clarence and ☼☯ for anthony woodville!

Asked via the Headcanon Meme: https://lady-plantagenet.tumblr.com/post/634584063141920769/headcanon-meme. Thank you darling! X (at least I sprinkled a bit of history in all this).

George Duke of Clarence

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

- One Hobby/Quirk headcanon -

According to household accounts and information about his education, George knew how to play the harp and the lute. I headcanon him as continuing with those hobbies well into his adulthood. I don’t know if it’s maybe the fact that George had far less presence in the battlefield than his brothers - only Barnet and Tewksbury he actually fought in and his troops are never on the main battle charts which indicates they were not the most important, he was given the largest retinue to lead to France but as we know, there was rather more talking than bloodshed there ahasjd. Or if it’s maybe the fact that his actions and phrases denote an unusually emotional man... but I always saw him as rather sensitive and that also reflecting in his hobbies. I also headcanon him as being rather particular with his clothing (exposed to great finery since the age of 12), and so relished spending hours badgering his tailor over the smallest details regarding colours, designs, patterns etc. At some points even Isabel gets a headache ahashj.

He also had great taste for elaborate architecture (historically, there were many designs he had in mind and renovations for Tutbury and Warwick castle, to make them less fortressy and more palatial but died before they could be completed), so I think that links. As for the harp and lute, I headcanon him as having great proefficiency in them but not interested in showing that off and so just playing when in his own homes and heard by very few people there. Not because he was modest or something (quite the contrary) but because he did not like to do anything competitively because he did not like being seen as bested by others, or worse being seen to fail because well.. pride and self-importance. He never participated in jousting for example, because he knew he could not handle the shame if he were beaten by the likes of Richard Woodville or Anthony or the score of prominent jousters. Also as a typical aristocrat, he never saw the point of having to ‘prove’ his gifts, nor work at them enough to be truly talented.

▼ - childhood headcanon

I’ve had this discussion at some point with a mutual about when George left Ireland, I think the conclusion was that he may have very well stayed there quite a bit, at least maybe until Richard III was born in Fotheringhay in 1452, or even later (for his own protection or as an enduring symbol of his father’s importance there and piece between Earls Ormond and Desmond, as his baptism was all about uniting those two godfathers). I have to look deeper into this but the truth is next to nothing is known of George’s life pre-1460.

I see his sister Margaret being with him until 1452 or so (I think Ashdowne-Hill put the possibility that Margaret accompanied their mother to Ireland), and treating him as her baby as four + year olds have been known to do, creating the link. But while she returned to England (most likely), he would stay there for a one more year or so, with the occasional visits from the godfathers for goodwill. And goodness, both James Butler 5th earl Ormond & Wiltshire and Thomas FitzGerald 7th Earl Desmond had something of a similar spirit to their godson: always up for a gallantry whether that be rebellion (a contemporary saying something similar regarding gallantry about pre-1469 George - I think it was Crowland), reputed handsomeness (with some vanity):

“Gregory records, at the First Battle of St Albans in 1455, Wiltshire "fought mainly with the heels, for he was frightened of losing his beauty" ahahaha idk why gives me some Clarence vibes

or personalities that attracted support, eager patrons. With the facts of an absent real father this headcanon, just sort of clicks whether it has any bearing in reality (yet I recall an Irish castle where he spent his early years in being mentioned, but forgot the name). I also headcanon him as having spent a part of his infant years with James FitzGerald around, though, he may have been a couple years older (birthdate not given). As they were god brothers and both from Yorkist families, of course this is the same James that gets executed under Edward’s name in 1467 (godfather Ormond gets executed after the battle of Towton). In addition to him, many other companions that were relatives and nephews of his godfathers I suppose would have been selected as the 5/6 year olds’ companions. I headcanon George as charming them all, leading to him being remembered fondly by the Irish because though records of his going there in his adult life contradict each other, he seemed to have left an impression somehow. Of course, all this attention and preening has contributed to his deluded self-image as a very very important man. I also headcanon him as picking up quite a bit of the native tongue, but like most young children, what is quickly learned is quickly forgotten.

Anthony Earl Rivers

☼ - appearance headcanon

When it comes to my story, I’m tempted to make him the ‘golden-haired’ knight that he tends to get depicted in fiction because thematically it drives home the whole George/Anthony foil thing we spoke about and intend to hint at.

But for me, this will always be my mental image of Anthony. With a very kind yet clever looking face, like in here. I also always headcanoned him as heavily resembling his sister, perhaps, because of their strong sibling bond (this depiction capture that too with the heart-shaped face, small thin nose, round eyes and cheekbones (come to think of it also the mouth) .

Like in his contemporary depiction [Him presenting the Dictes and Saying of the Philosophers] I see him as having a warm brown eyes and light brown hair, but with a twinge of auburn (whereas Elizabeth Woodville is more full on red-gold). Because of his keeping with a hair-shirt underneath, I tend to see him as rather thin and tall (nearer to Edward and Margaret’s height than Richard or George’s).

࿊ - likes/dislikes headcanon

- Likes - (aside from what we know: philosophy, poetry, literature, religion, tournaments)

As a result of: That bit in one of his works where he (with great wit and subtlety) calls Plato out for his misogyny, him being a reader of Christine de Pizan (the only man at that time who I can recall), his strong relationship with his mother, sister and friendship with Margaret of Burgundy... I’ve headcanoned him as having a deeper appreciation and ‘like’ (more like respect) for womenhood than most of the others. And with an interest in the discourse that must have been going on post-De Pizan and Joan of Arc.

I also have this weird headcanon of him getting an insane fascination with Wales, the people, the Celtic remnants in its folklore - that is, once he establishes there with his nephew. And tried to absorb as much of it as possible. Particularly because he strikes me as one who though a great appreciator of beauty, is more attached to the natural, less ornate rather than the florid and goldeness of the london courts. As he was a well-traveled man this isn’t so far-fetched I suppose. I also headcanon him as a massive fan of Arthuriana (he did after all have all the features of chivalry) and would see himself as a Merlin to Prince Edward’s Arthur.

- Dislikes - (aside from war apparently)

I always saw him as taking a profound dislike to Edward’s debauchery later in his reign, especially, when it pertained infidelity to his sister. As somewhat of a stoic (not to say emotionless or robotic), he obviously did not say anything about it, but the disillusionment welled up in him, and he would find any excuse to not have to deal with it. By the time it came to leave for his guardianship, he was grateful for not having to see it. Of course, there remains mutual respect between him and Edward, during his pilgrimage I headcanon him as praying for Edward’s soul and for him to be guided back.

I always headcanoned him as never quite clicking with his wife. For some unknown reason e.g. perhaps she was a bit ignorant, dull or cold? We know very little about that marriage and it was quite brief nonetheless. There were no children and we never hear of them ever being in the same place, or references to mourning etc. Of course, since marriage is a sacrament and a way to connect with god, he feels a bit regretful about it, only in later life to realise, that some men are like Gawain, better suited to bachelorhood. But while respectful of women, few attain to his marianistic expectations (partly stemming from the image his sister projects). Overall, a dislike for this sort of inner-conflict.

#🍷❤️#to everyone: this meme is still open ☺️☺️#and here you have it somehow I ended up writing you a novel #can you tell how much I feel the need to write something #masters apps and schoolwork begone #george of clarence #anthony woodville #I profusely apologise #I’ll add the read more function tommorow #and grammar check

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anirrahn · 7 years

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break down (2 of 2)

I totally forgot to post this here so I’m gonna go ahead and do that ahahaha

Title --- break down (and build up again) Characters --- Papyrus & Sans (Underfell AU Skelebros) Chapter WC --- 1153 !WARNINGS! --- Mentions of habitual self-harm and the direct aftermath of one such incidence.

--- Alternate Link: AO3 ---

--- Previous Part ---

By the time morning comes, you’ve had the whole night to wear yourself out with thinking and you’re finally starting to feel a little tired. It’s almost your usual wake-up time though and there’s no point in trying to rest when you’ll just have to get up again in an hour anyway. Still, you decide you’ll give it another couple of minutes before you start getting ready.

Sans hasn’t woken up yet and you’d rather not disturb him from sleep before you absolutely have to.

You spend another half hour sitting on the couch watching early morning re-runs of Mettaton’s most popular programs. You’ve already seen these a hundred times—got them all taped too in case you ever get the urge to re-watch your idol’s greatest hits—but it’s nice to be able to half-watch something without giving it your full attention and still know what’s going on. You let another ten minutes of senseless, comedic violence pass on screen before you click the TV off with a sigh.

You have to get ready now or you’ll be late for work.

But maybe if you get dressed really quietly you won’t wake Sans up.

You slowly make your way back up the stairs and stop in front of your bedroom door. You’re just about to reach for the knob when you see it twist and hear the creak of it inch open. As the door pulls back, your brother steps out.

Sans stands in the doorway, wearing your blanket like a makeshift cloak around himself.

He’s practically drowning in it.

“Mornin’.” He says when he sees you, his voice still hoarse with sleep.

You simply nod in response and then the two of you watch each other silently. Your brother is sleepy-eyed and tired still—you wonder briefly what woke him up. It might’ve been another nightmare but he looks far too calm for you to really consider it a possibility.

For an instant, it crosses your mind that maybe Sans got himself up because he knew you’d need to get ready for patrol.

“Breakfast?” Sans offers, your blanket shifting around on him as he readjusts it and tucks his head under an edge like a hood, “I’ll make it.”

You know that this is his way of apologising for what he thinks he put you through last night.

You want to tell him that you don’t want his apology. You want to tell him that you’d much rather he talk to you about what makes him feel so awful he has to resort to hurting himself to find any form of relief. You want him to promise you that he won’t do it again.

But you’ve never been much good with words and your brother has always hated making promises.

So, you only nod again and move to the side to allow your brother access to the stairs.

You pad after Sans back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

He’s still all wrapped up in your blanket, holding it closed around him with one hand while he pulls out breakfast supplies with the other. He looks comfortable and at rest like that so you resist the urge to tell him that it’s a tripping hazard. And probably a fire hazard too, though you’re not exactly one to talk about those.

It’s weird seeing him walking normally around in the kitchen after the mess that was last night. If it wasn’t for the fact that the image was so freshly seared into your mind, you’d think that nothing happened at all.

You thought you could handle it, but you start to feel your chest go tight so you quietly excuse yourself and go wait on the couch for him to finish.

When he comes back out again, its with a bowl of oatmeal for you and a large mug for himself.

You narrow your sockets at his cup, “Is that filled with mustard?”

“What?” He gives a startled laugh, “Heh, nah. S’only coffee.”

You grunt in acknowledgement and return to your meal.

The rest of breakfast passes in silence.

Several times during the course of it though, you can’t help but let your eyes wander over to your brother. The blanket has dropped off of one of his shoulders while he drinks and you can now easily see the way his bandages are coming off his arms. You wince at the sight of them; they’re not going to heal anything like that.

You’re not sure how long you stare at them till you realise that Sans is watching you and you have to dart your gaze away, flustered at being caught.

You can’t finish your oatmeal.

You don’t have the appetite.

You get up wordlessly and put your bowl in the kitchen sink, oatmeal and all.

You head upstairs to change.

By the time you come back down, all dressed for work, Sans is just finishing off washing the dishes which is… more than a little surprising. You don’t say anything about it, though you’re sure Sans notices the way you stare as he shuts off the tap and dries his hands.

You eye him over carefully as he makes his way over to you by the front door and you realise that he’s no longer wearing the blanket. A quick look to the side shows it draped over one end of the couch.

He looks so much more defenseless without the bulk of it around him.

Sans comes to a stop in front of you and smiles.

You give him a nod and a stiff goodbye.

When you turn to leave, he catches you by the hand.

He drags you back to the couch and the two of you sit down. You’re confused but he doesn’t say a word to explain. He simply reaches underneath the couch and pulls out the medical kit.

You watch as he undoes his bandages from last night, the red of his marrow and the grey from his dust caked together and staining the insides.

Once that’s done with, he holds his bare bones out towards you.

You soul skips a beat in your chest.

With trembling hands, you reach for the medical kit. You open up some alcohol wipes from within it and re-clean the area. After that, you pull out a fresh roll of bandages. Sans sits by calmly as you redress his arms, the bandages evenly distributed and well-wrapped.

“Thanks, Boss.” He says when you finish, giving you a tired but genuine smile.

And you find yourself smiling back, the pull of it crooked against your jagged teeth.

The thing is, the world is awful.

The world is hell.

Some days, it’s almost enough to make you lose hold of the light inside you that says that there’s good in everyone if only you search hard enough for it.

But.

Sans let you redo his bandages.

And that’s something at least.

#undertale #underfell #skelebros #fellbros #uf!sans #uf!papyrus #words #self-harm //#I always forget to crosspost my fics here #I should get on that with the other one too #... at some point LOL

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movietweets · 6 years

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Iron Man

Cracking a beer and getting stuck into the first film of the series: Iron man. He's a man made of Iron apparently so I'm expecting a lot of rust related plot devices #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah! I can already tell this is going to be good because there's army cars and AC/DC playing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh but look who it is, in a suit, with a glass of brown alcohol and wearing sunglasses, its RDJ. My man! Always appropriate for any situation. About to go into combat? No problem I'll just grab a bottle of jack and my cuff links. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Obviously he treats everyone else like shit too. Obviously. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oops! Didn't see that coming. Can't go 30 seconds in a superhero movie without an explosion though and now a war's happening and I'm getting a Saving Private Ryan flashback. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

That’s not good. Better text the wife and tell her I won’t be back for dinner. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh Shit! It's terrorists, and they've got guns! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Flashback on Tony's past. No wonder 'Big T' has an ego problem. Bet he pulls some ridiculous shit in vegas. Also I wonder how much that casino paid to get in this movie? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Bloody knew it!

Dude’s like: “why the fuck did he just hand me a big glass dildo?”

Just a quick argument with a supermodel journalist to set up a parallel with US foreign policy in the subtext. Yeah, I make loads of money selling weapons that kill people but look how cool and attractive I am. Lets fuck! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh no! That’s your best comeback?... surely you’re not going to let that win you over Everlove? Surely?!

Well I guess we all have moments of weakness.

And literally all it took was a couple of gadgets for her to drop all her morals. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Poor Pepper, He's literally a nightmare to work for and now he's flirting inappropriately! Also he forgot her birthday and she didn't care... yeah right. #realwomen #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Of course his private jet is a strip club. Where is that pole coming from exactly? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Why is the business owner doing the job of a salesman right now? Does he really need the commission? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

All that technology, like genuine future stuff, and he has literally the shittest phone in the world. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Good thing that mad scientist guy happened to be captured by those guys too. Also didn't we just see that he was wearing a bullet proof jacket? How did shrapnel get anywhere near his heart? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

PROOF!

Oh no! The weapons got into the hands of the naughty men! isn't that what sexy journalist/supermodel woman was talking about? Maybe you should have been paying attention to her argument instead trying to sleep with her? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“But Tony... You promised!” :(

They went all that time without exchanging names? Guy saves your life but nah, funny accent, not worth getting too close. Also NOW you want to small talk, right when he’s holding a pot of molten metal in a pair of forceps?! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah, just make a couple of rings, stick them together with some copper wire and there you go magic chest battery. Step one, make a ring. #Therestofthefuckingowl #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

And here we are having a bash at step two...

Hey presto! That was easy.

Well to be honest its about time that the wrongens noticed something wasn't quite right. Man had a massive glowing thing on his chest that looks like its from the future and nobody seemed bothered. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

For a man who we've established is intelligent Big T has no game. Yeah just leave the blueprints to the secret plan you're working on out on the table. Fortunately the baddies are totally negligent. I'm surprised they remembered to lock the door #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

We've already seen that they have CCTV of what Tony and his mate are up to but some how they aren't seeing him assemble a full suit of weaponized armor under their noses? Even after they've been caught with the blueprints?? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Could they be any more blatant about what they’re up to?

Also why build a suit that leaves the one vulnerable part, the battery that powers it and keeps his heart from being shredded, exposed. 10/10 for visual aesthetic -10000 for common sense. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Seems to hold up though, even when shot point blank in the head. Shame his assistant had to die. There could have been some serious competition for chief romantic interest with Pepper later. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yeah, no shit. This guy had expendable character written all over him.

What is going on with his legs? Seriously, who has hips that wide? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Ahahaha! Silly baddies! Haven’t you realised that your guns are useless!?

Oh no! He's gone down! Looks like the terrorists are going to win after all. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh... no they fucked it.

Good thing he can fly!

Also good thing that that, way bigger explosion didn't have any nasty shrapnel in it this time. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Ah, phew! Good thing the military are here to save the day. Held off till now though obviously because PLOT #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“Taxi!”

Also yeah, I want an American cheeseburger and a... (hint at sex but surprise with) a press conference. Definitely don't want to go to the hospital, not even after spending days(?) in the desert following a firefight and crash in a metal suit from 100m #MCU #Marvel #IronMan

Fast food and a quickie?

Seriously had enough of his shit...

Of course Burger King got that contract. I'm a little bit surprised that Tony didn't ask for a mac book and a bottle of new mountain dew red alert, available in a convenience store near you...#MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Don't tell me he's grown a conscience! Big T! Think about what you're going to the military industrial complex! What about the economy!? All those people who came out to clap at you getting out of a Rolls Royce are jobless now! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Hashtag UN-nesesary segway #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Okay Pep, just reach into the massive hole in my chest and grab that loose wire. Don't mind all the puss and blood. Oh you fucked it up, never mind, should have had a doctor do it. To be fair, could have done it himself but wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to flirt #MCU

100% uses that sentient robot arm to wank #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yep, just walk into a military base and start talking shit to the commander because you're Tony Stark #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

"working on a secret project are we Sir?" - You can trust me, I'm a web connected AI with the same voice as HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Speaking of wrong hands, who's this with a useless remnant of scrap metal. I think I know who the main antagonist is going to be! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“What did you just say about my sunglasses!?”

That looks like pretty complex stuff T! Good thing you've got Wankatron to help you out. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh shit... that's at least 3 months in hospital. Also wouldn't a man of science have worked out exactly how much thrust 10% capacity would generate before testing it on himself. Why not test it on a crash dummy first? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Also, hats off to Wankatron for the excellent comedic timing. That bit with the extinguisher. GOLD #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Okay, how does he still have an arm after that? Tony Stark is a normal human right? I'm not going to find out 10 movies in that hes actually from the planet Joopizoop where everyone is a demi-god am I? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Where does he buy those shirts with the hole cut out of the chest? Reckon that's a custom job. Another example of Big T's genius. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh yeah. Let's do this highly experimental test that is likely to end in something exploding or going catastrophically wrong in the garage along side 3 to 6 expensive super cars. #justbillionairethings #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

What did you expect dude? I’m getting tired of your bullshit!

WHAT KIND OF HERO RUINS ICECREAMS FOR CHILDREN?!?! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh! Did it go wrong? Well that will teach you for ignoring HAL 9000!

With great power comes incredible lack of responsibility. There’ll be a pothole there for weeks now. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wankatron giving Tony a taste of his own medicine.

Just as well that ghetto Iron Man is looking like something off of scrapheap challenge #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Well that was a slap in the face... are there any women who his ‘hero’ does respect?

Also, of course he knows Hugh Hefner. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow. Pepper is looking on point, must have guys lining up and she still puts up with that crap from Tone. "Am I making you uncomfortable?" Shit man...you're making ME uncomfortable and I'm watching this from my bedroom, in my underwear. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“I need a new job.”

Wait! Isn't that supermodel/journalist from before the hostage situation? Oh and she's got some leverage this time... #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oooo! Looks like uncle cigar might be the main antagonist after all.

Somebody’s having a little sulk in the man cave are they? Angrily adjusting your super complex future cyber arm with a screwdriver. I mean...seriously? Screw drivers only do one of two things. They tighten or loosen screws. How much tinkering is really going on there? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow... wankatron had a few upgrades! Now he comes out of the floor and gets you dressed in the morning #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Terrorists are on the rise again. Oh! You've got a gun, have you? Well here's a massive punch in the stomach.

Or why not have a blast of my...wait, what is that stuff that’s being blown out of my hands? Is it just pure bad-ass?! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Oh shit... now he's screwed, no way to save the hostages at gun point..

SHOULDER GUNS! BANG!

AUTO-TARGETING, NO RECOIL, EAT THAT YOU BLOODY WRONGENS! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“Cheers mate!”

Uh oh...

Tank gun to the face?

No prob bro. JUST WALK IT OFF #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Bogey just went supersonic. Good thing that people from Joopidoop are impervious to the effects of instant acceleration or his bones and organs would be jellified by now.

Also good thing that he though to add in some knee flares... you know for disco scenarios and this... #MCU

Whiplash is right... ejecting is no joke. Most people never fly again and are left with severe spinal injuries. Cheers T. NICE ONE. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong

When your missus catches you having some fun with your newly upgraded wankatron... #mcu #ironman #tweetalong #marvel

Ghetto ironman looks still looks shit..

no wonder the baddy used his weird sound torture lanyard on him. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

OH SHIT! Pepper out. So that was the stick that broke the camels back eh? Developing a sense of responsibility and taking the initiative to do the right thing...oh hell nawh! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

I knew she was bluffing. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wow... how awesome do computers look in this film. I want to work with an interface like that. Who cares that all the icons are on the wrong side!? You can literally type translate and it starts speaking English! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Jesus! She’s not a piece of meat! Damn, the main baddy is kinda creepy. Even without all the murdering and crazy sound torture dongle! RUN POTTS! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

OH NO! Not Big T! He's gone all pasty 'cause of the torture lanyard!

“You’re not going to try and kiss me are you?”

Oh no, no. Just going to syringe the future battery out of your techno pacemaker... You know.. Baddie stuff.

Wait... is his name Obediah? Seriously how didn't anyone guess he was evil? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

YES! COME ON WANKATRON! POP IT IN THE HOLE! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Pepper is the real hero in this story. Just look at that power walk. Either that or I have a massive crush on 2008 Gwyneth Paltrow #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Shitt... ghetto iron man been hittin' the gym! How did we get from scrapheap challenge to beefcake overnight? I want that protein shake! #therestofthefuckingowl #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

LOL that whole family are like: Holy shit what is happening?! This never happens when we stay with daddy! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

lets hope it wasn't dad following behind on that motorcycle #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

HE KNOWS THE MATH WANKATRON! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Ha Ha yeah... chill out Obediah. You've been iced out. Don't you realize that you're just an overweight imitation? #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

those disco knee flares are are literally a get out of jail free card. I've said it before and I'll say it again... bloody good thing he thought of them. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

“Nooo! Not the disco knee flares! How did you know my only weakness was the boogie!?

Yes Pepper, flip every god damn switch! Meanwhile the masks are off... #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

PUSH IT! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

God dammit Pepper! What are you waiting for!?

wait for it....

Oh thank goodness for that... it had been almost a whole minute without an explosion! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Lets see if we can't shoehorn in a little post action office romance between boss and employee before Tony pars off supermodel/journalist for the third time and does the obvious thing by letting his ego overtake everything. #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Yep.

At least we can enjoy some well earned Black Sabbath as the credits roll #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

Wait... WHAT IS THIS!? The film is over but there's more? Is this a thing? Oh my word! GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING SUPERHEROS INTO MY BADDY FIGHTING CLUB! #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

The end.

Hope every one of my 27 followers enjoyed that. I'll be posting it to my blog soon in a special post with bonus content and screen shots to accompany each tweet. Look forward to tweeting @ you all soon when I watch The Hulk (2008) next time #MCU #Marvel #tweetalong #IronMan

*UPDATE*

Uh oh, looks like one of my followers didn't like that at all. Good riddance I say! To the remaining 26: PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE ALL ALONE! :(

#MCU Marvel tweetalong IronMan

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