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miguel-manbemel · 5 years

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Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 7: The Dungeon and the Dragon Witch: The Sides' Team Adventure

Seventh entry of the “Aspects & Fanfics” fanfic blog inspired on “Sanders Sides” by Thomas Sanders and Joan. And it’s the first one since the magnificent “Selfishness v. Selflessness”. I had it almost finished yesterday, but I prefered to wait some time to publish it in order not to be bothersome to those commenting the new episode. Fun fact, I was writing one of the last paragraphs when the YouTube notification kicked in. I had my headphones a little loud, I was so concentrated in the writing... I got the scare of my lifetime and I jumped on my chair like if it had been an air horn... xD.

Luckily enough, for the time being there’s nothing in the new episode that contradicts badly what I had written in previous entries, the new episode could perfectly have happened between “Embarrasing Phases” and my first entry, but anyway, remember that this fanfic has its own alternate continuity after “Embarrasing Phases”, even though I was pleasantly surprised to see that I coincidentally guessed some minor details from the real episode that I had mentioned in previous installments of mine, like my episode where Logan wanted Thomas not to have a candy party and eat healthy instead, and then in the end card of the real episode Logan remarked that Thomas needed the nutrients from the salsa verde enchiladas and shouldn’t eat the butterfinger. The coincidence made me chuckle. Should any major changes come to the canon series (and they will certainly come sooner or later, it’s only a matter of time and the Team Foster Dawg’s expertise), I would try to add them into the fanfic respecting my continuity if I can. The alternative would be starting from scratch after each real episode is released, but that would be impractical if I want to tell a coherent story, wouldn’t it?

For this entry, that took me longer than I expected, again because of a couple of blockings during the process, I had the idea of incorporating tabletop roleplaying into the story. I used to play it for a little amounts of time years ago. I’ve forgotten almost everything but the basics, and I never played “Dungeons & Dragons” or similar games (I think I played the “Lord of the Rings” role playing game, and also briefly “Vampire the Masquerade”), so I decided not to stick to any particular gaming rules and make up my own rules to make them fit into the story. Also, I didn’t want to put too many gaming details, as the story is already long enough as it is. As usual, references will be made to previous entries, so if you want to read them beforehand, you can find them right here. And thank you so much to each and everyone who has liked any of the entries, reblogged or written comments. I really appreciate them and feel honored for your words. I already said in the first entry that nothing I could write could get even closer to the original, and that’s not my intention, but I hope I can do justice to your praises. And now after this too long introduction, let’s get cracking with the fic already.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas has been invited to participate in a stage show where he’ll be role-playing in front of an audience. As it’s been ages since the last time he role played, he doesn’t remember how to play anymore and feels insecure, thinking he’s gonna mess up in front of hundreds of people. The Sides appear and suggest to have a session of role-playing all together, so that they can help Thomas freshen up his game.

WARNINGS: Inside the game, there will be encounters with monsters, fighting and everything that comes with it, including the death of one of the main Sides’ characters. But it is made clear all the time that nothing’s real and it’s just a game, so it shouldn’t be a bad trigger to anyone. But it’s better too much warning than not enough, so there it is. In general, apart of these in-game moments, there’s not much more I can think of, except in the ending segment, where some mild angst will make an appearance.

EPISODE INDEX

THOMAS: Good evening, everyone! My name is Thomas Sanders and… I have no clue of how to get out of this situation! That’s a constant in my life, though.

[intro sequence]

THOMAS: What is up, everybody? You guys, I’m really excited for this weekend. One of my friends has invited me to a convention about tabletop Role Playing. I really liked Role Playing long ago when I was younger, and I still like it. I mean, it was true acting at home with friends, all mixed up with a really fun game. Who wouldn’t love it? In the con, we’re gonna play a game of RPG with other people to see who’s the best, all on-stage in front of hundreds of people who are gonna watch the show. I mean, I haven’t played RPG in ages, but… [suddenly shows a serious slightly terrified face of realization] Wait a minute… I haven’t played in ages. I don’t remember how to play anymore! [terrified squealing] Oh, my gosh, I’m gonna make a fool of myself in front of hundreds of people!

VIRGIL: [appearing] Seriously? You have to get me to work at full cap even for a game? Isn’t a game supposed to be done for fun?

THOMAS: Yes, Virgil, it is, but this game is going to be seen live by so many people… and I don’t remember how to play! It will be like going on-stage without rehearsing! Nothing would make me more anxious than that!

HONESTY: [rising up] But Thomas, you said it was on the weekend. You still have plenty of time to rehearse your game, don’t you?

THOMAS: I wouldn’t even know where to start, Honesty. I don’t even have the materials, like papers, dices, books…

LOGAN: [rising up, over-excited yelling] Did someone say BOOKS?

VIRGIL: [startled] What the f…! Not again, Logan!

LOGAN: Apologies. Thomas, what books are you talking about?

THOMAS: I mean, the basics for a good game of role-playing are contained in books, where there are the rules, the mechanics, examples of characters and basic adventures…

ROMAN: [rising up] But Thomas, to play a game of these there’s one thing among others that you already have. Me! Your creativity is the most important part of the game and you already have it with you. Cheer up!

THOMAS: Yes, but this is not like writing something for myself and then acting it. If it was that easy, I’d have full creative freedom and that would be my home ground. But when you have to subject your creativity to the constraints of some rules… that’s a tall order, especially if you don’t remember those rules.

PATTON: [rising up] Then why don’t we play ourselves?

LOGAN: What?

PATTON: Think about it. If we have a game of role-playing all of us together with Thomas, it would work like a rehearsal for him, and it would help him remember the rules. Besides, I would love to play with all of you, guys! I’m tired of playing solitaire in my room…

ROMAN: Well, at least it would be safer than Patton-cake… I had stiffness in my arms for a week after so much swimming running away from the piranhas, and I still haven’t recovered full sensitivity in my fingers after the hot candle wax…

THOMAS: I love that idea, Patton!

HONESTY: Mmm… that’s not my cup of tea, however. I’m not much into something where everything is out of reality. I find it… [yawns] ...boring. Excuse me.

LOGAN: I would agree, but if it works to help Thomas, I will sacrifice myself. Wouldn’t you, Hon?

HONESTY: [reluctantly] I…

DECEIT: [through Honesty’s body] Well, I love this kind of game, where everybody pretends to be someone they’re not. If Honesty doesn’t want to participate, may I in his place?

THOMAS: Of course, Deceit, join us.

[Honesty transforms into Deceit]

DECEIT: [grinning] Cool.

HONESTY: [through Deceit’s body] Well, that settles it then. If you don’t mind, I’m a little tired, so I’m gonna use your game time to take a nap, okay? [yawns] Have fun, Deceit.

DECEIT: Bye, Honesty, but don’t start snoring in the middle of the game, okay?

HONESTY: Hey, I don’t snore! It’s just strong breathing!

DECEIT: Of course it is… And then I’m the deceitful one of the fam…

PATTON: You two are such good friends now, Deceit.

DECEIT: Nah, we’re just roommates, only that we’re sharing a body instead of a house.

THOMAS: Okay, so, if we’re gonna role-play today, we’re gonna need a table and materials… I think I’m gonna need your help, Roman, are you following me?

ROMAN: Sure, Thomas. I’m following you… [confused] Where do you want me to follow you?

LOGAN: [facepalms while mumbling] Oh, my goodness, el príncipe es mucho estúpido…

ROMAN: [offended] Logan, that’s not right! [beat] It is “muy estúpido”, not “mucho estúpido”.

LOGAN: Whatever, it’s true…

THOMAS: Roman, I meant that I need a room in the Mind Palace for role-playing, with a table and all the materials we need.

ROMAN: Oh, you could have said it earlier, Thomas! All right, let’s get playing now!

[Roman snaps his finger and Thomas and the Sides appear in a room with a large round table. Thomas is sitting down in the middle and the Sides are sitting around the table, in the order they usually stand in the living-room.]

THOMAS: This is so cool. Look, here are the tools for doing an adventure. I’ll be the Dungeon Master.

VIRGIL: Wait a minute, if there’s a dungeon, I should be its master! It suits me more than you!

THOMAS: You guys are saying all the time that I am the boss of this, or the master or that… I’d say I’m fitting for the role, am I not?

VIRGIL: Touche, Thomas… Okay, but I hope to get a good dark character at least…

THOMAS: You will all play the characters you want in the end. But, I thought it would be more fun if we played characters that are the complete opposite of us. It would make it more challenging. What do you think?

PATTON: Yayyy!

ROMAN: Why not? I love challenges…

LOGAN: It really doesn’t matter what we choose because nothing is real anyway, so count me in.

DECEIT: [low fake voice] I’m feeling quite confident, but let’s try it anyway.

VIRGIL: Ummm…

PATTON: Come on, Virgil, this is just for fun! Don’t hesitate!

VIRGIL: Okay, okay. I hope this doesn’t turn into a mess.

THOMAS: That’s the spirit, you won’t regret it! Okay, I have the character sheets ready, then. Virgil, you’re gonna be the bard. Specialized in singing and dancing that can buff the rest of the team’s power in their attacks…

VIRGIL: [picking up the sheet Thomas is giving him] I’m already regretting it…

THOMAS: Roman, you’re gonna be… the wizard.

ROMAN: Oh…

THOMAS: Specialized in the studying of spells and the casting of magic attacks.

ROMAN: Okay… [to himself, trying to cheer himself up] Challenge, challenge, challenge…

THOMAS: Logan, you’re gonna be… the knight. Master of sword, armor and melee combat.

ROMAN: What? He is gonna be the knight? [starts laughing]

LOGAN: And why couldn’t I be the knight?

ROMAN: May I bring up a list of reasons or are we short on time?

LOGAN: Well, at least I’d be a more competent knight with better strategy ideas. You, on the contrary, are always more preoccupied of having your sword clean to delight in your own face reflected on it, rather than learning how to wield it!

ROMAN: Well, at least I wield a sword for real! If you had to grab my sword I’m sure you’d cut yourself even without taking it out of the sheath!

LOGAN: And I wonder if you’ll be able to learn any kind of spell with your wizard! You weren’t able even to memorize your washing machine manual!

ROMAN: I’m a prince, I’ve got servants for that! I memorize only the things that are useful for me! You instead have memorized lots of things that are worth for nothing and utterly stupid, you Fact Hoarder!

LOGAN: FALSEHOOD!

[Roman and Logan start arguing]

VIRGIL: [covering his ear with a little dash of pain] Why do I always have to be next to Logan when he screeches like that?

DECEIT: You’re always next to Logan, Virgil.

VIRGIL: True… May we switch places?

DECEIT: I’d be delighted… No.

THOMAS: [to Logan and Roman] Guys, guys! Relax! This is a game of teamwork, you’re not supposed to fight against each other!

[Roman and Logan stop arguing and give a dirty look to each other]

DECEIT: Okay, what will be my part, then?

THOMAS: Yes, Deceit… [searching between the sheets] You’re gonna be… [finding the sheet and giving it to Deceit] … the priest!

DECEIT: [grabbing the sheet, with a sarcastic fake low voice and a face of disgust] Wee… My heart is filled with joy…

THOMAS: You’ll have the power of truth and faith in your hands so you can heal your allies’ wounds and repel the darkest creatures.

PATTON: [excited] And now it’s my turn!

THOMAS: Yes, Patton, and you’re gonna be… the Dark Warlock! You get your powers from evil and use them for your own benefit. You are helping your team, but only for as long as they’re useful to you.

PATTON: [happy] Yaayyyy!

THOMAS: See? Learn from Patton, you guys! He has taken it much better than all of you!

PATTON: [threatening low evil voice] Call me Supreme Lord of Evil Patton, you slaves! I’m ready to win this adventure and I won’t tolerate any failures! It is either victory or death for you!

ROMAN: [in shock] Wow… He’s got into character really fast… Okay, guys, let’s dress into character to make the adventure more realistic.

[They all suddenly change their outfits. Roman is wearing a white and red robe with a red wizard hat. Patton is wearing a black robe with a blood red hood and a light blue medal over his chest with a gargoyle carved on it. He’s still wearing his glasses. Logan is wearing a medieval armor with an indigo sash on the chest and an open helmet exposes his face, which shows he’s also still wearing his glasses. Virgil is wearing purple peasant garments, including tights and a hood. He still has his usual eyeshadow and he’s holding Thomas’ ukulele. And Deceit is wearing a yellow priest’s tunic, wearing on the head what resembles a miter, those tall hats that Catholic bishops wear, only a little smaller and also in yellow.]

THOMAS: Wow, nice cosplay, you guys, this will really help getting into action! Okay, it’s time to let the adventure begin… And I’ll read the beginning. [with his trademark narrator voice] Story time! You are in front of the door of a huge dungeon. A king has hired you to retrieve a talisman that can save his kingdom. To do so, you must take it off the cold hands of the evil ruler of the dungeon. It won’t be an easy task, as lots of enemies, traps and other dangers are blocking your way, but nothing worse than all the perils you’ve already gone through in the past. The first obstacle is the door that lies in front of you, which of course is locked. What will you do?

LOGAN: Easy… [with robotic voice doing a gesture of typing text with his hands, sound of typing is heard and a little beep when he enters] “Unlock door with picklock. Enter”.

THOMAS: [confused] … what…? [realizing] Oh! Logan, this is not one of those old school text adventure games from the ancient computers of the eighties… You have to act your actions convincingly… and besides you’re not carrying any picklock with you.

LOGAN: Okay, I’ll try… I’ll hit the lock with my sword to break it.

THOMAS: Okay… throw a 20 sided dice for aim.

[Logan throws a dice]

LOGAN: 1!? 20 sides and I get only a 1!? What are the odds!?

THOMAS: Fumble. You miss the lock and you hit your own foot. You can be lucky that your armor absorbs the damage to your body. Not so much to your ego, though, and the armor loses one point of durability.

[Roman chuckles]

LOGAN: [angry] Shut up!

ROMAN: [confident] Make way, I’ll do it. I’ll throw a spell to swiftly unlock the door.

THOMAS: Throw a dice for magic expertise.

[Roman throws the dice, he gets another 1]

LOGAN: [laughs lively, then ironic] Make way for the prince of experts!

THOMAS: Fumble. The spell not only does not unlock the door. It makes the lock even stronger and more difficult to break than it was before. Further tries will need three more points than normal to be successful.

ROMAN: [angry] These dices are loaded!

THOMAS: Hey, don’t blame me. You created this room and all its materials, including these dices.

[Roman shows a sudden mischievous smile]

THOMAS: [firm voice] Don’t you dare! Don’t manipulate the dices! The game must be fair!

ROMAN: [sighs] Fine…

PATTON: [evil voice] Step aside, you amateur fools! This will be no problem for my magic! I’ll throw a curse to destroy the door altogether!

THOMAS: Okay, throw a dice for evil strength.

PATTON: [after throwing the dice] Eleven!

THOMAS: Your curse is partially successful. The door isn’t completely destroyed, but the lock itself is, leaving a hole. Now you can open it and enter the dungeon. Behind the door there’s a long dark corridor.

VIRGIL: Shouldn’t we have some torches? Because the corridor is dark and full of terrors…

DECEIT: As a matter of fact, apparently I carry a bag of torches with me.

THOMAS: Yes, you have torches… but no means to light them.

ROMAN: I’ll make some magic fire to light the torches.

THOMAS: Okay, throw a dice for magic expertise.

LOGAN: Don’t screw it up.

[Logan throws the dice, he gets a 20]

ROMAN: [happy] Yes, baby! [to Logan, sarcastic] What were you saying about screwing up…?

LOGAN: Let me see that dice…

THOMAS: Critical hit! The torches don’t light up, but all the existing sources of light in the corridor and in all the dungeon do light up. You’re no longer in need of light for the rest of your adventure.

ROMAN: That’s more like it.

VIRGIL: [groans] He’s gonna be boasting about it all week long, I can see it…

ROMAN: Did you doubt it…? You better write a good song about my talents, bard.

VIRGIL: At least it’s gonna be a short song then.

ROMAN: [offended noises] Ugh!?

DECEIT: Shouldn’t we get cracking? We’ve taken two centuries to get the front door open. Let’s come in already.

LOGAN: Yeah, let’s go.

THOMAS: All right, you enter into the corridor. You advance a few steps until you reach some stairs that go down. There’s also a door next to the stairs.

VIRGIL: I’ll examine the door.

THOMAS: Throw a dice for perception.

[Virgil throws a dice and he gets an 8]

THOMAS: You see there’s some bright oily substance on the latch, but you can’t quite identify what it is.

VIRGIL: That looks suspicious. I’m not gonna touch it. Let’s examine the stairs instead.

THOMAS: Okay, throw another dice.

[Virgil throws a dice and he gets a 14]

THOMAS: You see a secret mechanism on the edge of the stairs. It looks like a trap, and you find no way of disabling it.

LOGAN: Fine, so now we’re stuck between a weird oily substance and a most than probable trap. Fantastic. Although… I’m wearing an armor, with gauntlets and all. I don’t have to touch that substance to open the door, do I? It makes all the sense that I open it. I’ll do it.

THOMAS: You open the door. The oily substance happens to be a powerful acid that corrodes your gauntlet. You have to quickly take the gauntlet off so it doesn’t reach your skin. In a matter of a couple of minutes, only a viscous smoky slime remains of your gauntlet.

LOGAN: Not fair!

THOMAS: Give thanks that it’s not your hand what has suffered that destiny.

LOGAN: Lucky me that I’m carrying a spare gauntlet in my bag.

THOMAS: Yes, but the spare gauntlet is less durable than the original. So now you have two points less of durability, and that makes three points less.

LOGAN: Well, at least the door is open.

THOMAS: And you won’t like it, cause behind the door there’s a monster. A vicious indescribable entity that attacks your team.

PATTON: [cold voice] I’ll throw a curse on it. It’ll regret messing up with me!

THOMAS: Throw a dice for magic strength.

[Patton gets a 20]

THOMAS: Wow! It’s a critical hit! The creature bursts into flames!

PATTON: [evil sadistic laughter and yelling] Yes… muahahaha! Burn! BURN! B-U-U-U-U-R-N!

ROMAN: Did I already say that I’m a little scared of how much Patton has got into character?

THOMAS: In a matter of seconds, only a pile of ashes remains of the monster.

PATTON: I’ll grab the ashes. They may come in useful for my spells.

THOMAS: I presume you want to enter the next room, right?

LOGAN: Allons-y!

THOMAS: Where did I hear that before…? Okay. The next room has a spiral staircase in the center. There is also a little chest in a corner.

VIRGIL: I’ll examine the coffin, it could be another trap.

THOMAS: Throw for perception.

[Virgil throws and he gets a 16]

THOMAS: You find no kind of traps in the chest. It is safe to open, and it’s full of gold coins.

VIRGIL: Cool, at last, something good.

DECEIT: Now, let’s go downstairs.

THOMAS: All right, you go down the stairs. The stairs are long… really long… It looks as if you were descending to the depths of the earth, or even as if you were right on your way to the underworld. When you’ve lost notion of time and it seems like you’ve been going on for forever this way, you finally reach the bottom. There’s a corridor right in front of the stairs.

VIRGIL: I search for traps in the corridor.

THOMAS: Throw for perception then.

[Virgil throws and he gets a 9]

THOMAS: You discover that there’s a trap in the middle of the corridor, but can’t find the way to disable it.

LOGAN: Oh, great, now we know there’s a trap and we can’t disable it. We’re trapped between going up those stairs again or falling to our doom.

ROMAN: Well, perhaps I could throw a spell of divination to search how to unlock the trap.

THOMAS: Okay, throw for magic expertise.

[Roman throws and he gets a 19]

ROMAN: Good one!

THOMAS: Almost a critical, but not quite yet. However, your spell is entirely successful and you see an almost hidden lever right at the entrance of the corridor. If you push that lever, the trap will be disabled.

ROMAN: Of course, I’ll push it.

THOMAS: Uh-oh. It is too hard. You’re gonna need to throw a dice for physical strength.

[Roman throws and he gets a 3]

ROMAN: Cursed dragon witches!

THOMAS: You can’t move the lever, not even an inch.

LOGAN: I guess I’ll have to try again. My character is specialized in physical strength after all. Give me that dice.

[Logan throws the dice and he gets a 14]

THOMAS: Well done. You manage to push the lever. You hear muffled cracking sounds behind the walls and feel a smooth shaking on the floor. The trap is disabled and you can keep going.

DECEIT: Well, let’s go, then.

THOMAS: You advance through the corridor, until you cross a door to a huge room. There is a crystal ball on the top of a cane that is fixed on the floor.

VIRGIL: I don’t like the look of this…

THOMAS: And you’re right, Virgil, because as you all come into the room, the door slams behind you and an evil laugh is heard. “This will be your tomb, adventurers!” you can hear.

PATTON: [confident evil voice] Wanna bet?

THOMAS: From the crystal ball a lightning surges and three ominous hooded creatures are created from the crystal. They start attacking you. The first creature aims at Logan. She throws a ray at you. I throw for aim…

[Thomas throws and he gets a 13]

THOMAS: I hit you. Now you must throw for defense.

[Logan throws and he gets a 9]

THOMAS: The armor absorbs part of the damage but it’s not enough to avoid it making you a wound in your hand, your less protected part. You lose 2 points of health, and have 16 left.

PATTON: [suddenly breaking out of character, squealing angry] Don’t touch my Teach Boy, you monster! I throw a curse to the creature!

THOMAS: The curse has no effect.

PATTON: Don’t I get to throw a dice?

THOMAS: Nope. No matter what you try, you can’t do any damage to them.

PATTON: [squealing angry] Not fair!

VIRGIL: [thinking] Hmm…

DECEIT: I had the power to repel dark creatures, right? I’m gonna use it.

THOMAS: Very well, throw for faith.

[Virgil throws and he gets a 16]

THOMAS: You create a force field around the three creatures. They can’t get out of it, and that gives you three turns to think and apply your strategy, even though Deceit cannot throw any other spells while he’s holding the force field. You better hurry.

ROMAN: Virgil, you said a significant “Hmm” earlier. Have you got any ideas?

VIRGIL: I was thinking about how Thomas didn’t let us throw any dices. That means these creatures are invincible. However each creature in a role-playing game should have a weak point or else there would be no chance to beat the game, and I doubt that such an impossible game would appear as a basic adventure in a book of the game.

THOMAS: Guys… I would have preferred if you’d reached that conclusion without having to get so meta, that breaks the mood of the story.

VIRGIL: Our aim should not be the creatures. These creatures appeared from a ray that came from that crystal ball. I suggest that we destroy the crystal ball and see what happens next.

LOGAN: Good idea. It’s payment time! I’ll hit the ball with my sword!

THOMAS: Throw for aim.

ROMAN: And don’t stab your foot this time!

[Logan throws and he gets an 11]

THOMAS: You hit the ball, but not hard enough to destroy it. However, you crack it, which makes the creatures flicker back and forth.

ROMAN: [singing to the tune of “It’s My Time” by Jade Ewen] It’s my time, it’s my time, my moment! [stops singing] I throw a spell to pulverize the ball!

THOMAS: Throw for magic expertise.

LOGAN: And try not to fix the crack, please.

[Logan throws and he gets a 16]

THOMAS: The ball gets broken to pieces. The creatures disappear and so does Deceit’s force field, just in time.

ROMAN: Yes, I did it!

VIRGIL: We did it, Roman. This was done with the effort of all of us.

ROMAN: Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

THOMAS: He’s right. Nice teamwork, guys.

DECEIT: Now I’ll heal Logan’s wounds, he needs it.

LOGAN: Thanks, Deceit.

THOMAS: Throw for faith.

[Deceit throws and he gets a 20]

THOMAS: Critical hit! Not only all his wounds are healed, and with that all his points of health are restored. You also fix all of his armor, and he recovers all the lost points of durability.

DECEIT: Nice!

LOGAN: Good job!

THOMAS: You started with awful luck with the dices, but now it’s a chain of criticals from all of you. Roman, are you sure you didn’t bribe the dices?

ROMAN: I give my royal word that I didn’t manipulate the dices, Thomas!

[Deceit gives a mischievous smile to Virgil, and he silently chuckles without Thomas noticing]

THOMAS: Okay… Now that the room is empty, you notice a huge chest next to a door in the background.

VIRGIL: Let’s examine it.

THOMAS: Throw for perception.

[Virgil throws and he gets a 16]

THOMAS: There are no traps in the chest. Inside it, you find it’s full of diamonds.

VIRGIL: Let’s share it all, we’ve all earned it in equal parts.

PATTON: [normal Patton voice] Agreed… [clears throat, then with low evil voice] Agreed for the time being…

ROMAN: The fact that you broke out of character earlier and now has calmed me down, Patton. For a moment I thought you were Wrath in disguise…

DECEIT: Please, Roman. There’s only one master of disguise in this Mind Palace, and he’s in front of you. I have never seen a worse shape-shifter than Wrath, you should see him…

VIRGIL: Yeah, he’s right. Remember when he tried to impersonate me and he put the eyeshadow over the eyebrows? He looked like an emo version of Groucho Marx.

[Deceit laughs]

THOMAS: Okay, back to the game, guys… The door opens and you enter in what looks like a throne room.

DECEIT: Ooh… There’s a smell of final battle in the atmosphere…

THOMAS: The dungeon ruler is in front of you. They’re wearing a golden armor that covers their face, but that doesn’t diminish their threatening aura. They don’t say a word. They just stand up from their throne and shows the talisman. It is a golden necklace with strange symbols carved on the brightest ruby. A magic glows from it. Then, they throw it to a chest that closes itself and is then protected with a bright force field. You know what you have to do. Only by defeating them the force field will be gone and the talisman will be yours.

VIRGIL: Okay, it’s time to start singing to boost your abilities, I guess… [clears throat, then singing] “Woords fail… woords fail… there’s nothing I can say...”

ROMAN: Um… Virgil, your supposed to lift our spirits, not to send us into deep sadness. Sing a happy cheery song!

VIRGIL: Nobody appreciates real art… Okay, how about this…?

[Virgil starts singing “Friday I’m in Love” by The Cure while playing the ukulele]

ROMAN: It’s not “Whistle while you work”, but it’s not bad either.

THOMAS: Okay, thanks to Virgil’s singing, you get a bonus boost of all of your abilities of +5.

LOGAN: Good, keep singing, Virgil. I’ll go attack them on melee mode. You, Deceit, heal me, and anyone who needs healing too. You, Patton, attack them with curses. You, Roman, throw all the offensive spells on them and defensive spells on us, but try not to get the aggro on you…

THOMAS: Logan… Logan, stop. This is tabletop role playing, not “World of Warcraft”. There’s no aggro in here.

LOGAN: Apologies. Forget about the aggro. All the rest still applies. You guys ready?

DECEIT: Ready.

ROMAN: Let’s go get them!

PATTON: He’s gonna feel our rage!

VIRGIL: [still singing] “…it’s Friday, I’m in love”… [threatening voice] If you ever tell that I’ve been singing solo for so long I’m gonna kill you… [resumes singing] “Monday, you can fall apart...”

LOGAN: Okay, team Sanders Sides, let’s go! Geronimoooo!

[The battle begins. As we see shots of the Sides and Thomas throwing dices and silently acting, that is combined with background images of the battle that we see behind them, with the characters actually fighting the creature, while epic music sounds. We see the battle advance, with Logan attacking with his sword, Roman and Patton casting spells, Deceit magically healing everyone and Virgil still singing and playing the ukulele. That until Logan throws a gash onto the armored enemy and knocks him down. At that moment, the armor shakes and a black smoke emerges from it. The smoke turns into a dragon-witch. The battle then resumes, but the dragon-witch’s first attack against Logan knocks him down. Upon seeing this, Patton enters berserk mode and throws a huge stream of fire against the dragon. She responds throwing fire from her mouth and the two streams of fire collide. Virgil plays his song more intensely and Roman supports Patton’s spell with his magic, until the combined forces finally overcome the Dragon’s Witch power and she explodes in a fireball. The scene fades out and we return to the Sides on the table]

PATTON: [dramatic] Logan, are you all right? Talk to me! Deceit, do something!

DECEIT: [dramatic] I’m sorry, guys, his wounds have been too much. He’s gone.

PATTON: [over the top crying] Logan, oh, Logan, why did it have to be you!?

LOGAN: Dag nabbit. We were about to win, and I lost on the finish line.

ROMAN: [angry low voice] Shut up, you’re dead, don’t ruin the mood of the ending!

THOMAS: [epic narrator voice] But his sacrifice wasn’t in vain. The force field in the chest is gone and the talisman is yours. You can be proud of your teamwork guys, you’ve saved the kingdom and you will always be remembered as heroes of legend. Congratulations!

PATTON: [over dramatic] We will never forget you, Logan! Poems will be written honoring your name, the gods will rearrange the stars to forge a constellation with your shape and everyone will get emotional upon seeing it in the sky up until the end of time!

LOGAN: Umm… Patton, that’s not how constellations work…

ROMAN: [waving his hands quickly] Sssshhhhhh! I’m enjoying this…!

[Logan silently sighs and rolls his eyes]

THOMAS: ...aaaand… The End. Well done, guys!

LOGAN: Can I speak now?

ROMAN: Yes.

PATTON: [over the top emotional happiness] Logan! You’re alive, thank God, I thought we had lost you!

LOGAN: Um… Patton, you knew this was all a game of pretend, didn’t you?

PATTON: [surprised] Oh… Was it?

ROMAN: [sighs] No wonder why he got into character so much, he thought everything was real…

THOMAS: Okay, guys, let’s go back.

ROMAN: Agreed.

[Roman snaps his finger and they all get back to the apartment with their habitual outfits]

PATTON: This was really fun, kiddos!

THOMAS: Yeah, it really was. But you almost got a syncope, Patton. Listen, role-playing is good, but don’t get so much into character that you cease to distinguish between fiction and reality. This is just a game and you got too much into it.

PATTON: I’m sorry… But it was fun. And the end was happy for everyone…

LOGAN: ...well, almost for everyone.

THOMAS: It’s okay, Logan. We can repeat this some other day and maybe next time you’ll win too.

LOGAN: The most important thing is… did all this gaming help you for your con?

THOMAS: I think it did. Now I remember all of the rules as if my last game had been yesterday. Thank you so much. And apart of that I also remembered a really important lesson.

LOGAN: Oh, really? What is it?

THOMAS: You reminded me the important value of teamwork. At first when each of you was on your own it looked as if you wouldn’t pass even from the front door, and then you started working as a team and defeating dangers all together as if you were one person.

DECEIT: Well, technically we’re all one person...

THOMAS: I’m proud of all of you, guys.

LOGAN: Thank you. At least my sacrifice has worked for something. [sinking down] Next time, give me an alchemist or something more of my style.

THOMAS: All right, Logan.

PATTON: [sinking down] I’m gonna go get a nice cup of calming tea. I need it after the scary ending we’ve gone through.

THOMAS: Okay, Patton, and sorry.

DECEIT: [sinking down] Well, I’m gonna go wake up Honesty. It is my turn to take a nap, I’m exhausted. See ya.

THOMAS: Bye, Deceit!

VIRGIL: I’ll remind you, just in case, if you ever tell that I was singing solo all of the time, you’re not gonna sleep in a couple of weeks, and it will not be because of your usual habit of not sleeping when editing a video. [sinking down] Be warned.

THOMAS: Okay, Virgil, relax…

ROMAN: Ah… A good old battle. And I’ve had the chance to fight it with all of my friends. Victory tastes sweet, but it tastes to glory when you share it with the people you love. [sinking down] I’m gonna spend my part of the treasure on Fairy Godmother’s, I desperately need a beauty treatment. Bye, Thomas.

THOMAS: Bye, Roman… Well… Life can put lots of challenges of many kinds in front of us. Some of them, we’ll have to face them on our own and in those cases we must be brave, trust ourselves, and give our best. But other times we’ll have the chance to face them in company. In those cases, remember that the value of teamwork will multiply the possibilities of success. Learn about your project partners. Take the time to know your own pros and cons and investigate your pals’. If you work to support each other in your cons and to boost each other in your pros, no one will be able to stop your team. You will be the best of the best and I’ll be even more proud of you than I already am. Until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[end card]

[Deceit is in the Light Realm, talking to Honesty inside his body]

DECEIT: ...and then Patton threw a ray of fire that destroyed that dragon witch! You should have seen it!

HONESTY: I’m glad that you had fun, Deceit. You really deserved some spare time for a change.

DECEIT: You should have seen it. You should have stayed awaken over there. I was playing a priest of truth, I could have used some help from you.

HONESTY: I’m sorry… But lately, I’ve been feeling… I don’t know how to explain it, like wearing a little thin.

DECEIT: [alarmed] Are you okay? Do you feel sick or something?

HONESTY: No, it’s not that… It’s just that I feel tired, more than tired, exhausted… Don’t worry, Decey. It will pass if I rest.

DECEIT: Oh, I’m not worrying at all…

HONESTY: You’re lying, Deceit, I can see in your mind. I appreciate your concern over me, but I…

[Honesty suddenly stops talking through Deceit’s body. Deceit stays silent for a few seconds. He shows a face of fear]

DECEIT: Honesty? Honesty!? Can you hear me? I’m not feeling you anymore! Honesty!

HONESTY: Oh… Sorry… for a moment I felt like… out of it.

DECEIT: This isn’t normal, Honesty. For a moment I lost all contact with you, as if you had been gone completely.

HONESTY: It just felt as if I’d fallen asleep. Don’t know how to describe it.

DECEIT: Maybe we should talk to Logan, he’s Thomas’ knowledge. He might know what’s going on.

HONESTY: Only if we have no choice. I don’t want Thomas or the Sides to worry unnecessarily.

DECEIT: Let me try something, okay?

HONESTY: What?

DECEIT: Try to get out.

HONESTY: If you insist…

[Deceit is covered by the yellow cloud. It flickers between yellow and orange for a couple of second, then goes back to yellow, dissolves, and Deceit is still there]

HONESTY: I can’t get out…

DECEIT: [scared] Don’t tell me this is normal, Honesty!

HONESTY: I know it isn’t, but let’s wait, all right?

DECEIT: But…

HONESTY: [firm voice] I said let’s wait.

DECEIT: Okay, I hope you know what you’re doing…

HONESTY: Me too, Deceit, me too…

#sanders sides #fanfic #thomas sanders #ts fanfic #sanders sides fic #thomas sanders fanfic #sanders sides fanfic #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #aspects and fanfics

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transfemmbeatrice · 6 years

Text

Where should I start listening to Friends at the Table?

A short novella by me

Friends at the Table is one of the best actual play podcasts out there and you should listen to it because they tell amazing stories with both diverse characters and a diverse cast (the GM is a queer black man and almost everyone at the table is some flavor of queer). They put character development and good storytelling at the forefront while creating incredible and complex worlds to play in. They make you laugh, cry, and laugh so hard you cry (and also give you chills on occasion) and I genuinely cannot recommend them highly enough. Whether you like a good story, characters to fall in love with, learning new ttrpg mechanics, or listening to friends have a good time together, FatT is for you.

FatT also has an enormous backlog that can make it hard to dive in so here is a handy guide for when you want to listen don’t know where tf to begin.

The Friends have provided some resources for this: there is a flowchart that gives you the quick and dirty deets (though it hasn’t been updated to reflect their current season) and also Austin made a 20 minute ep of him explaining the show and stuff and put it at the beginning of the podcast feed which could also be helpful (which I haven’t actually listened to bc they put it out after I was already deep into the show)...but this is my over detailed take.

There are currently 4 seasons of FatT. In order: Autumn in Hieron, Counter/Weight, Marielda/Winter in Hieron, and Twilight Mirage. Marielda is a mini season that takes place in the Hieron universe but before the Hieron seasons; Counterweight and Twilight Mirage are both standalone but do take place in the same universe, tens or hundreds of thousands of years apart.

Twilight Mirage is approaching its endpoint and will be followed by Spring in Hieron which should be the last Hieron season. There are pros and cons for starting with any of these seasons so depending on your taste and preferences you can take your pick!

(Also, each new season begins with an Episode 00 which is just the friends discussing the setting and pitching characters. It’s not required listening and they’re pretty long so you can skip them if you want but for people like me who live for worldbuilding and behind the scenes, they’re great prefaces to each season!)

Autumn in Hieron: The very beginning! This is where I started because I’m a hardcore chronological completionist. There is definitely something very fun and satisfying about watching them develop over the past 4 years, in confidence and skill and in production quality! They’ve been amazing since the beginning but it only gets better.

However, because it’s early, the audio quality is not great, so if that’s an issue for you, this probably isn’t your best starting point. Some extremely good shit goes down in this game and I highly recommend listening to it if you can parse the bad audio. Also, starting at episode 5, they split into two smaller groups and the audio improves, so if you want to start here but find the sound unbearable at the start, you can try skipping to here to see if it works better for you! The first few episodes are just a mini quest and it’s definitely fun but not deeply plot relevant so you’ll be fine to skip it. This is also a season potentially worth returning to even if you don’t start here because as I said, it’s good, and the bad audio might be more listenable once you know the players’ voices better. But if you absolutely can’t, no worries! They recap this season at the beginning of Winter in Hieron so if you don’t listen to it you won’t be lost as the story continues!

Hieron is a high fantasy setting in what Austin describes as the post-post-apocalypse. It’s been long enough that they’re past just surviving and have rebuilt tons but it’s still a wild world out there, and no one alive really remembers what apocalyptic event happened, but they all know something bad went down. Over the two (and a half, counting Marielda) seasons they’ve done they have really built out the world. It explores a lot about the concepts of divinity and entropy and so much more. I think Hieron is a great place to start because fantasy is the usual setting for actual play podcasts so it’s a familiar touchstone. And also just, really fucking good.

Counter/Weight: Welcome to SPACE. The second season of FatT is a good starting point because it’s self contained--it’s longer than the Hieron seasons but when you reach the finale, you’ve gotten the whole story. It starts off a little slow as they adjust to a new system and new characters for the first time...but there are some hilarious bits in those first couple of missions that I love. Then they switch systems again to something that fits more what they are doing and things pick up from there.

The “ground” game (the majority of the episodes with characters going on adventures as usual) is interspersed with the “faction” game--Austin and two other players not in the other half of the game zoom out and use mechanics and roleplaying to decide what the big factions/corporations/etc are doing around the sector, and eventually we see these events trickle down to effect the player characters in the other half of the game. These are a bit slow, especially when they first start, but I recommend listening to them because it’s cool to see how things are moving around on a more macro scale than one little crew of fixers, and it really informs the world they’re operating in. It’s not strictly necessary if you really find these episodes untenable, but you’ll definitely be able to follow along better if you’ve heard them. Also, around the 3rd or so faction game session, they cut down the number of factions significantly so it goes a lot smoother. I’ll also put in here that Counterweight is probably my favorite season of the show at least thus far even though I wasn’t sure I would like it at all when I first started it, for what that’s worth.

Counter/Weight is a cyberpunk/scifi setting somewhere in the Milky Way. It is set less than a decade after a war in which two rival powers united in an uneasy alliance to drive back an Empire. They succeeded, but now things have settled into a good old fashioned cold war. There are lots of robots and mechs and they use the cyberpunk genre to explore labor and capitalism and feeling small and helpless in the face of such massive, powerful corruption. Or, sadness and robots in space. (Also, literally none of the PCs ended up being cishet.)

Marielda: Marielda is a mini season they did right before Winter in Hieron. Set in Hieron before the events of the other seasons, it provides some context to the world. It’s also fucking delightful. This is probably the most recommended starting point for FatT because it’s short, has high production quality, and some of their best work. It really encapsulates what this show is so if you’re unsure if this is the podcast for you, this is a great starting point.

Since it takes place long before Autumn in Hieron, you don’t need to have listened to it to follow along; but I do find it somewhat helpful because there are callbacks to the events of that season as they show how some of the things they encountered then came to be in the first place. Marielda (and Winter in Hieron) were made with new listeners in mind, so Autumn definitely isn’t required.

Marielda is of course also high fantasy, but it has a tinge of steampunk too because this island has more technology for....reasons that will be revealed as you listen. The only train in Hieron is there, and the crew stages a heist on it, and it’s amazing. Marielda has two parts--the first couple episodes are some of the players playing The Quiet Year, a collaborative mapdrawing game, to build this city. Then the other players played a few missions in Blades in the Dark as scoundrels who steal information to sell to the highest bidder. Their shenanigans are hilarious and occasionally heartbreaking and I’ve relistened to it so many times.

Winter in Hieron: Hieron season two of three! Winter begins with two episodes recapping the events of Autumn in Hieron, so if you skipped Autumn you can listen to them and be good to go, and if you didn’t...you can skip the recaps! (Unless maybe you listened to Counterweight in between and you need a refresher). There are two new PCs in Winter because Andi and Janine joined between Autumn and this season, and they only make Hieron better.

This season is a little heavier than Autumn because it’s Winter and...Winter is usually darker than Autumn. I’m in the middle of relistening to it now, though, and it’s still incredible the second time through and a great starting point. I would not recommend starting with Winter without listening to Marielda first, partly because Marielda is so good, but also because Marielda informs so much of what happens in Winter.

Since Twilight Mirage is getting close to finishing up (as of writing this, anyway) if being Current In The Fandom is something that’s important to you, I’d start with Hieron (whether that be Autumn or Marielda/Winter). After Twilight Mirage wraps up, they are reportedly planning to return to Hieron for its final season--Spring, so if you start catching up now you can be ready! I don’t know for sure yet but so much has happened at this point that I find it hard to imagine that they’ll do a recap before Spring that lets you jump in there very easily. I could be proven wrong but even if I am....I don’t recommend it. You’ll miss too much Seasons of Hieron is a joy to listen to.

Twilight Mirage: The current season! Usually I say to start here if you find the backlog intimidating--it’s current and you can jump in to what’s happening now and get to the rest when you feel ready. And that’s still somewhat true, but Twilight Mirage has gotten pretty long so it’s potentially still intimidating? And they have said they’re nearing the endgame, but I have no idea if that means weeks or months. But regardless, it’s still less to get through than starting further back, and it is a standalone season so it’s a great starting place!

Twilight Mirage is another game in space. It is set in the same universe as Counterweight, and there are some callbacks to it, but it’s set far in the future from the events of that season and was intentionally made so that people who hadn’t heard Counterweight could listen fine. It’s more like easter eggs than important backstory.

The premise is a dying utopia: a massive fleet that has slowly been whittled down, still home to millions of people, but they’re starting to look for somewhere to hopefully colonize. This game does a great job of questioning what a utopia would look like--what does prison look like in a utopia? how do we treat synthetic beings?--and exploring the themes of self/identity and colonization and so much more. It’s the most philosophical FatT season to date but the narrative is also great and stands on its own--you can engage at whatever level you want. (I, for instance, don’t get a lot of the philosophy referenced, but I’m still deeply enjoying it because it’s a great story and I love all the characters!) So much shit happens to alter the original premise and it’s fascinating to see the characters have to adapt to all these evolving circumstances and question their values as they themselves also change. Also, lots of robots and mechs and aliens and shit. One of the PCs is just a cat person. One of the PCs is a downloadable hitman who is losing their memory every time they die and get downloaded into a new body. It’s A Good Season, they friends are extra af (more than usual, even) and it’s a Delight.

And that’s my answer to the age old question, where do I start listening to Friends at the Table?, answered in more detail than anyone ever wanted. If you have any questions or anything feel free to shoot me an ask or a message, I’m literally always here to talk about FatT!

#friends at the table #fatt #f@tt

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