🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

i think i saw you talk about picayune a bit on your twitter! i was wondering about it if you’re willing to give your thoughts. i heard it was similar to that one game that’s called the void rains upon her heart, at least from a friend of mine.

hi anonymous; although i say i could gush about it: i mostly said everything i:d want to on the twitter already, but yeah: i love it, it:s a sneaky "top game of the year" for me, i think, and is one of those passion-projects (?) that just feels as though it carries with it a-lot of love for game design and just the act of creating games; i:d put it like this: i really enjoy survivors-type games because they:re dopamine-traps that just give me skinners-box gratification when i:m struggling to get through a day, but as a genre the games are very formulaic and usually seem like they:re 1) cynically made because the formula is hot + can make some easy cash for little effort since the game-design aspect is just laid out like clean providence 2) made a little more earnestly but usually for a developer as an exercise which happens to also be probably decently lucrative -- and both of these prior points lead to pretty stale experiences, but dopamine-trap experiences that i like all-the-same, as-well: due to me just not having a lot of money outside of my weekly grocery budget, i don:t really let myself spend money on non-grocery things, so: looking @ picayune dreams i was hit with this mix of "this looks awesome" and "i know this formula and the gloss is just going to be another stale 100% achievement grind that:ll eat up my time but leave me mad at myself for wasting $5 when i need groceries" -- but it had a demo, and (happily) the demo betrayed my cynicism and just oozed with sincerity on behalf of the developers, so: i bought it.

it:s a very good blend of shmup/bullet-hell type gameplay and the standard survivors-genre, and although i don:t think it:s the best gameplay in either genre, the experience as one whole is executed perfectly for what it is: it unfolds and never seems lazy in its effort or gameplay; the obtuse mechanics are fun to figure out; the story segments (while super iterative of yume nikki type rpgmaker stuff) have this razor-sharp conciseness for the vibe it wants you to feel that i really enjoy (it reminds me of scientology, archangel:nemesis in a weird way: because the breadth of the plot centers around being selected to save a humanity that is trapped down here on earth, sort-of indifferent to your mission -- and i think it creates this plot really beautifully despite using very little words or demanding a lot of your time (<- this point here is key for me, cause i have northernlion syndrome of nearly no-longer having patience for games that want me to stare at some story for a long time, or hit you with tutorials before gameplay, or whatever: picayune dreams just goes and trusts you to figure it out)).

i haven:t played it much lately, cause (if it had one fault, which is more just my user-experience than the devs) the runs can get to be longer than i have patience for (you can loop and at this point you:re getting close to an hour run), so i end up self-destructing when i get bored;

i:d encourage anyone to give the demo a try, or just look at the steam-page and take in the art direction -- it:s a game that probably won:t let you down if it even /slightly/ looks interesting to you, & i still feel a rush of goosebumps when the final song comes in during the last boss; it:s just solid (void rains upon her heart is another one of these great games for me but i 100%'d it earlier in the year and have just been waiting for the dev to add more content; that:s another game that i think more people should give love to because it blends shmup+roguelite formula better than any other attempt i:ve played and also never really let my expectations as a player down as i trusted it to unfold with content and excitement -- because that:s what i like about this trend of roguelite/meta-progression in games: games that use these are like constantly wanting to award you with more because it:s like they are just so eager to spend time with you and don:t want to let you down (at the least cynical)).

at the moment though i:m just playing DCSS cause i:m back in a "everything feels pretty dull and colorless at the moment" spell -- but again: that:s why i love stuff like picayune dreams and sci-fi harry; occasionally stuff surprises you with its love, its passion, and you can:t help but let yourself be affected, and i like being affected.

take care.

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (168): Mon 29th Aug 2022

Anthony Quinlan (who used to play Gilly in Hollyoaks and is now banging Nikki Sanderson) was complaining on Twitter about not being about to access his Spotify account where he sells workout tutorials. Although this is undeniably inconvenient for him it’s hard for me to have any degree of sympathy for this guy because…well he’s banging Nikki Sanderson. If the guy said his house had been robbed and the robbers had smeared animal feces all over it I would still think "Yeah but you're banging Nikki Sanderson dude, get over yourself. Some of us have real problems".

Couldn’t wait to get today over with as I was absolutely knackered and looing forward to spending the next three days in bed. Although I could do with the money I was secretly hoping I wouldn’t get offered any overtime but then on my second break that's exactly what happened. Thanks to the cunts at HMRC and the even cuntier cunts at the call centre I used to work out I'm having a few money issues at the moment and need as much of it as possible so I snapped up the overtime. Knowing I wouldn't be getting the lie in I'd been looking forward to I got another kick in the bollocks when some HR lass told me I had flagged up as low confidence again and I'm not sure how this keeps happening. Someone told me about this last month which is why I have done my best to avoid standing in the way of the cameras but apparently a diagonal motion can still trigger a low confidence result. I don't see how you can get the items in the pod at certain angles without standing in front of the camera (without using The Force). Later in the day I asked a few people about low confidence and how best to avoid it and they all pretty much gave different advice which wasn't helpful at all. At the end of the shift all of us filed out at the same time to the locker area and that's when I noticed how few of the guys from my first day are still here. There were about fifty of us started on te 10th of June and of this bunch I counted eleven including myself who are still here. I can't imagine that they would have been fired before the three month probation was even up but also I cant imagine them outright quitting because you think they'd at least stay until the end of probation so I don't know what's happened. I remember on the first day there was a this group of three girls who were constantly pissing around at the back of the training room and they were gone pretty much instantly so maybe the majority of the people I started with assumed that the whole job was going to be a place to goof off and get paid for doing the bare minimum. The company are also really strict about people not being on their phones at there work stations and despite this pretty much everyone I see is always doing just this which might have lead to a few of the departures. Whatever the reason for everyone else dropping like flies this is the time for me to really step things up and show them that I'm dedicated to the job.  

Dr stone characters as types of TikTokers

Warning: Contains manga spoilers for new characters! You can skip those you don’t know! 

Not sure where this idea came from exactly but I got super into it and it was really fun. Consider these to be my headcanons for a dcst AU where they don’t get petrified and instead everyone is TikTok famous. 

Senku

- science 101 - makes educational videos aimed generally at students struggling at school with subjects like biology, physics, chemistry, robotics, engineering, and astronomy, explaining them thoroughly and in a simpler form - random astronomical facts #n - goes live when he’s about to do a reaction experiment - wants to show his viewers how exhilarating science can be - rarely shows his face - tries to incorporate humour into his talks - it becomes evident he’s passionate or excited about the subject by his little chuckles - “visiting my father at NASA before rocket launch” - Taiju sometimes takes over his account as a lil prank - on everyone’s for you page with minimal effort - 14M followers

Gen

- magic tricks - social science veteran - shares psychology hacks he learned throughout his career - props his phone on his cola bottles to film himself - CEO of accidentally dropping his phone on the floor - Senku’s fanboy. Reacts to Senku’s videos on occasion by acting extra and makes a huge deal out of rare pictures of Senku - posts cut scenes from his magic show then makes separate videos revealing how he performed a certain trick - cynical, dark humour - makes his viewers question their moral compass - gets a lot of compliments for his hair - 10.5M followers

Chrome

- step by step 3 minute crafts - Senku’s fanboy #2. Video duets with Senku by building the same things as him, praises Senku a lot  - geology student studying mineralogy - storytime! - regular shout-outs from Senku - always has his precious rock/crystal collection displayed behind him as he films a video and makes sure to show them off every once in a while - 2M followers

Kohaku

- trash talks men without stuttering - films herself in front of a mirror most of the time - zooms a lot into her face and stares into the camera while speaking, looking dead inside - dimmed disco lights - ironic and sassy - usually spits facts about anything she talks about - confident vibes - ayo famous relative check (Lillian Weinberg’s niece) - her duets are cruel - 1.9M followers

Ginro

- the POV - makes relatable yet obscure videos - some questionable scenarios no one can explain - yes he wears a big towel on his head when impersonating girls   - includes Kinro in his videos a lot - anime weeb - always posts at unholy hours - refined sense of humour - majority of videos are taken in his bedroom - lowkey annoying - video replies to hate comments by either faking acting hurt and crying or sarcastically going along with them as a massive fuck you - 69k followers and he would like it if it stayed that way

Kinro

- beautiful scenery shots - only has a few videos, mostly nature and places he went to with his family and friends - “top 5 places you must visit this summer” - secretive about his account, no one except Ginro knows about it - 7.9k followers - after a while he switched to making ASMR?? which gained him fame overnight and now has …. - 45k followers (Ginro’s current worst fear being Kinro surpassing his own follower count)

Magma

- unpopular opinion guy - reacts to popular tiktoks and attempts to review them (for fun, he’s a jerk for clout) - loud af, angry & narrow minded - makes valid points sometimes - dislikes kohaku’s content (probably because he feels called out) - tried to cancel Senku and failed miserably - a lot of people disagree with his hot takes - ignored the haters but got some serious threats :( - considered quitting making tiktoks so he took break - apologized to those he insulted after some reflection time - now half of his account are just apology videos - people follow him for the tea  - 500k followers

Suika (aged up)

- the animal lover - mainly videos of Chalk being adorable, Suika teaching him tricks…and him wrecking the house - “animal crossing new horizons island tour” - “my top 10 favourite cartoons” - 11k followers

Tsuakasa

- long political talks - disputable ideals - renowned martial artist  - became famous after appearing on a broadcast program with Gen and won against him in mental battle - informs on what’s currently happening in the world - has a lot of supporters as well as haters - “today’s society is flawed because - ” - encourages viewers to write their opinion in the comments - reads every single comment as well as replies to them - occasionally talks about his childhood, the good and the bad - 7.6M followers

Ryusui

- chaotic - reviews popular console/pc games of any genre - youtube channel linked in his bio - the type to walk into his bathroom and say funny shit - bombards Tsukasa’s comments section with stuff like “drop yo workout routine plz” or “your hair looks so soft I bet it smells like roses” to which Tsukasa can only reply with “please leave me alone” - generally in everyone’s comment section. He’s everywhere - bi king - super friendly and approachable - ayo rich house checkkkk XD - flexes on his personal mini yacht  - 5M followers

Francois

- quick, stylish and helpful cooking tutorials - shares rare recipes - pro decorator  - worked at 4/5 star bars, restaurants and clubs - non-binary icon - sometimes in the background of Ryusui’s videos until a lot of people asked about their relationship and revealed that they also works as Ryusui’s personal chef - 3.2M followers

Ukyo

- variety content creator - gives walkthrough’s of his job as a sonar technician - sneakily exposes his workplace’s secrets while he’s at it too - likes to gather the kingdom of science and make dumb silly videos together - archery tips for beginners - starting a new language tips - video reacts to tiktoks he finds interesting - became popular after appearing in one of Gen’s q&a videos - after that he collaborated with many others such as Senku, Chrome, Ryusui - close to everyone - appreciated for his talents - 980K followers

Yuzuriha

- fashion icon in the making - shares her everyday outfits - talks about her favourite clothing and where she bought them from - DIY accessories - cute couple videos with Taiju - fun sewing lessons! - promotes her online shop - 330k followers

Hyouga

- the type to stand in front of the camera and cover the screen with writing instead of speaking - known for his lip care routines (owns a lot of lip glosses and lip cosmetics) - occasionally takes off his mask for lip care videos - Homura is always behind the camera helping him film - kudayari spear practices - Helps Homura promote her Instagram account - tries to keep an aesthetic - trips abroad vlogs - 770k followers

Mozu

- cringey e-boy - lip-syncs  - dances  - it’s so obvious he’s fishing for attention - secretly films Kirisame for a laugh, ends up with him running for his life as soon as she finds out - expect to get second-hand embarrassment - exaggerates a lot - needs to be stopped - does tiktok challenges with Kirisame (has to beg for her to agree) - Kohaku, Luna, Gen and Nikki have him blocked - Hyouga and Kirisame are literally the only ilr friends he has :,( - 420k followers

Luna

- popular girl wannabe - desperate to get on the for you page - everyone loves her though <3 - poses in front of the camera wearing her best clothes while cute music plays in the background - complains about how she’s STILL single - pros and cons of going to med school - reads a bunch of funny tweets and almost dies laughing - recently started following Senku and can’t shut up about his content - 200k followers

Bonus: all of them tried at least once, if not more, to recreate complicated dances that went viral on tiktok. Yes, even Senku.

Coming up with usernames for them is beyond me right now so feel free to add to these however you like!  ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

Hii~~~ I want to try make up on, but I dont really know how or where to begin(?) Like, I know theres a hell lot of products, but thats it! Dont really know how to make it work.

Hello darling!

Be prepared to read a long post. Makeup can be intimidating because there is 50 different types of things for the same thing.

You can put the bare necessities into two categories:

Skin care - It’s really important to make your skin look good even after you remover makeup

Actual Makeup - This is what we generally think of when thinking about makeup, but this should be removed before you go to sleep

In skincare, you could have the following:

Cleanser: This is to clean the makeup off your face as well as dirt and oil and other stuff that builds up throughout the day. You use this morning and night, before you apply your makeup, so that you have a fresh clean canvas to work with, and after you remove it, so that everything comes off. There’s different types based on your needs and likes. Some people have really oily skin whereas other people have really dry skin, and then there’s people like me that have combination skin where some parts are oily and some parts are dry. If you have acne, there may be some that are geared just for that, like ones with tea tree oil in them. 

Exfoliator: You should only do this once or twice a week, otherwise you can irritate your skin and make it more prone to breaking out. There are some things that a cleanser cannot remove, like the upper layer of dead skin cells, or oil and dirt that have gone deep into your pores. There are physical and chemical exfoliators. I personally do not recommend using physical ones on your face because they can cause micro-abrasions into your skin. But once again, you may be able to find one that suits your skin type. You should use physical exfoliators on your body once a week, though, because just like a cleanser, soap and loofahs don’t get everything out. 

Toner: This is certainly not a necessary thing, but it does help improve the overall look and glow of your skin, even when it’s bare faced. It’s usually the consistency of water, and witch hazel is a pretty popular toner, but you may be able to find one that, once again, suits your skin type. Take a shot for every time I say suit your skin type in this post... 

Serum: If you have a certain dermal issue, like acne, or eczema, or even wrinkles, you may find a serum that helps with that. If you use a toner, then you put this on after the toner, but before the moisturizer. There’s also day and night serums, but that is based on whatever you are getting. If this step is overwhelming, then you can totally skip it.

Moisturizer: This is one step you should not skip, even if you have oily skin. This locks the moisture in and hydrates your skin all day so that it doesn’t flake or start producing excess oil to make up for the lack of hydration. If you have oily skin, then you can find a moisturizer that fits that skin type.You can even get a moisturizer with SPF.

Sunscreen: If your moisturizer and foundation does not have sunscreen then get separate sunscreen to apply, which you should even on a cloudy day, since the UV rays are still coming through.

Now that your skin has been taken care of, you can put on makeup.

Primer: If you’re planning on wearing your makeup for an entire day, or a night out when you know you’ll be sweaty, or you feel like your makeup will be smudged for whatever reason, you can put on a primer, which basically covers your skin like a paint primer so that that the makeup can have a smoother and a longer lasting finish. But, it’s not necessary. I only wear primers if I have a huge event to go to, like a wedding or something. I don’t bother with it on the daily.

Foundation vs BB Cream: Unlike foundations, BB, CC, and EE, creams focus on particular details, like color correcting, and other details. Foundations are heavier, even the lighter coverage ones, but they work better for heavier makeup. Make sure to have your foundation matched to your skin tone. I don’t want to hear any of this fair-and-lovely, or ethnically-ambiguous BS. It never looks good, and it’s just plain disrespectful. I also don’t recommend foundations with SPF, since those are the ones that tend to create flashback (is that what it’s called?) if you take a picture with the flash on. 

Concealer: This is a couple shades lighter than your skin tone, and goes over the under-eye bags to brighten it up. You can also use concealer as a eye-shadow primer, to make sure that the powder doesn’t smudge throughout the day. Be sure to set it with a setting powder, which I’ll explain later.

Contour: If you don’t want to do this, then you’re more than welcome to skip it. But basically, applying darker shades in some places and light shades in others creates the illusion of a different facial structure, but can also make you look like a clown if done wrong. Once you get the hang of overall makeup, you can definitely try it out, but make sure you get some practice before you wear it out. If not, you can just apply a bit of bronzer under the cheek bones and be good to go.

Powders: Remember when you’d dig through your mom’s purse and find a compact mirror with a lil round sponge and a pressed powder? Those were the days. These days, you’re better off with a setting powder under the eye area, which is often too white, but you let it sit for a few minutes to “bake” into your foundation. Then you can apply translucent powder all over your face to finish the skin stuff.

Eyes: Eye-shadows are pretty straight forward, but I suggest looking at the color wheel to see what works best with your eye and hair color for the ultimate wow effect. Mascara and eyeliner get easier to put on with practice. You don’t have to curl your lashes. I think I’ve only ever done that once in my life and that was only to test it out. You can also shape and darken your eyebrows with Anastasia Beverly Hills Dipbrow. Though you may need some practice to make it look natural.

Lips: You should try our liquid vs cream and gloss vs matte to figure out what you like best. Just keep in mind that matte liquid tends to stay on much longer than cream or gloss, and is also harder to budge, in case you plan on eating a messy meal or doing... messy activities.

Highlighter: If there is one trend that I wish would go out of style, it’s highlighters. Everyone seems to love it, which I respect, but I can’t help but think of disco balls every time I see a makeup guru on instagram. If you want to try it, apply a little but on the tip of your nose and cheekbones, and maybe a lil bit on your cupid’s bow and chin for an extra razzle dazzle. 

Setting Spray: This is another one of those extra steps that you can take if you really want your makeup to last through a night out, or a trip to the beach in July. Once you’ve applied everything, hold the spray at an arms length and spritz your face like you’re disciplining a puppy. But, like, don’t discipline a puppy. That’s mean.

Here’s some general overall tips to remember:

These are a bunch of infographs about types of brushes and makeup applications that I could not explain here. 

There are a ton of YouTubers that can teach you all sorts of makeup. I recommend Kaushal Beauty, Alexandra’s Girly Talk, and Brianna Fox, where I learnt all my makeup and other beauty stuff from, back when I knew absolutely nothing. For more bolder and artistic looks, you can check out Nikkie Tutorials. 

Experiment with as many looks as you want, but if you’re trying something new, be sure to try it at home and when you’re not in a rush.

Keep practicing drawing on eyeliner, because that’s the only way you’ll get better at it. 

If you want to go for the “natural” look, you can just apply some toner, sunscreen, and tinted moisturizer on your skin. You can also put on some mascara and lip gloss, and maybe do your brows if you have extra time. That way you look completely put together without it looking like you even bothered, because who even bothers to look good, right? We all just wake up like this.

I realize that I started slipping in more of my snark as time went on, but it was a long post, and I’m tired. Have fun playing with makeup, though! It’s actually pretty fun once you start doing it for yourself rather than to look good, because then the possibilities are endless and everyone’s Michelangelo.

💋

The Failed Feminist and Queer Narrative of Too Hot To Handle

Too Hot To Handle is really a failed feminist and queer narrative with a dystopian ending.

In the show’s trailer we see contestants Francesca and Haley making out. We learn that Haley and Francesca make a pact to kiss to get revenge against Harry, who had lied to the group that Francesca had initiated their kiss, breaking the show’s rules. The group, however, ends up deciding that Harry’s version of the story is more credible. Just another example of not believing women….

Haley is the only one to defend Francesca. I thought there were some promising feminist and queer narratives emerging when they made their pact to kiss:

1.) We saw two women try to challenge the misogynistic group think that led to Francesca being cast as a liar. Haley stands up for Francesca when no one believes she’s telling the truth.

2.) We saw Haley and Francesca attempt to take advantage of the other contestants’ heteronormative assumption that the two women would not kiss and create their own storyline. In films, TV, and books, lesbianism is often a metaphor for deviancy. (Ann Ciasullo’s “Containing ‘Deviant’ Desire: Lesbianism, Heterosexuality, and the Women-in-Prison Narrative” is an interesting article related to this.) When Haley and Francesca purposefully decided to break the rules of the show, I see their adoption of deviancy as empowering. What’s interesting is that they seemed to be in control of casting themselves in this narrative, not the producers. They devised the plot to kiss and reclaimed this deviancy trope by being the architects of it. In an interview with Women’s Health Francesca even called their story a “partner-in-crime moment” that “was a lot of fun.” They made the story their own.

Then the dystopian part. The robot Lana, Alexa’s uptight and prudish sister, reveals to the group that Haley and Francesca kissed. Before this reveal, contestant Matthew aka Jesus, a self-described “deep thinker” who said he thinks about spreading his seed around the world, interrogates Haley and Francesca and tries to coax them into admitting the kiss. Haley and Francesca are outed by a misogynistic man conspiring with technology. 

In some ways this is not so dystopian. The recent case of YouTuber Nikki Tutorials revealing that she is trans due to a blackmailer threatening to leak this information online is a reminder of the ways technology has been used to publicly out people.

And it should be noted that Haley and Francesca never use the terms bisexual or queer. (In the show Haley says, “I do mostly go for guys, but if a girl looks just like me, I’m so into that.” In the Women’s Health interview Francesca states, “I think Haley's a beautiful girl, and kissing her was a lot of fun. And I think that she thinks the same way about me.”) But I hoped that the kiss in the trailer would be used for more than a titillating plot device. In the end Haley also leaves the show, while Francesca remains in a relationship with Harry. The “deviant” is pushed out. Queerness is contained. Women are discredited and dismissed.

Got tagged by @ultkyu to answer some questions! Thank you dear, I'm so excited for this~🥺💞

1. If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?

× I'd be a cat, 100%. Cats are my love and my life, I've always wanted to be one, tbh (not in a furry type of way, but I feel like life would be easier if I was a cat, lmao). I love how cats take no shit and do whatever they want. They're very independent and individual and I'm all here for that.

2. What two anime characters or kpop idols are your type?

× Can I do both anime characters and kpop idols??

× As for anime characters, Jaeha from Akatsuki no Yona and Kirito from Sword Art Online are totally my type!!😍

× And in terms of kpop idols... omg,, how am I supposed to *only* name two?? Hmm, thinking about it, I guess not all of my biases are my "type" per se... but there's two that come to mind right now hhhh. One of them is Kevin Moon from The Boyz, he really ticks off (almost) every bullet point in my list for my "ideal type" and honestly, this list is freaking contradictory and has vvv high standards but Kevin is THAT boi, basically my imaginative ideal boyfriend personified. :') And the second one who I'd say is totally my type is Hwang Hyunjin from Stray Kids. I've always loved drawing him the most of all kpop idols and I still do tbh (but I can't fill my feed on my insta art account with JUST Hyunjin drawings,, you know,,,). His fashion!! I'm so here for it and vibe with it so well. Plus,,,idk,,, I feel like I could connect to him in some ways so ajxjsjdjjs yeah. There's just something about him and Kevin that inspires me so much, I really love these two bois.

3. Are there any writers or artists (art or music) that inspire you? If so, list 5.

× YES. I decided to name a few artists because I realize I've never talked about the artists whose artworks inspire me the most. They're all on Instagram, so I'll be naming their @'s

a.) @/shooky_dough: I'm probably not the only one who knows Nikki, hehe, but her art is SO amazing. She's got this really distinct style which I'd put into the category of semirealism. Her kpop fanart is soooo good and I used her tutorials to learn how to get better at sketching. If you look at the sketches I've been posting for the past few months on my insta art account, you'll notice that they're highly inspires by Nikki's art. She's definitely the artist I'm looking at most in terms of inspiration and improving on my own art.^-^

b.) @/angelganev: His art is sooo pretty. He does semirealism and I've found him by browsing through pinterest to find some art inspiration/references/tutorials. He also does drawing contests in which his followers can draw one of his work he selects in their own style and he gives a shout out to the ones he liked best. It's always interesting!!

c.) @/melmadedooks: This man can draw about ANYTHING, he's so talented. He used to draw lots of his 'dooks' and I've found him through seeing some of his works on pinterest (again, lol). I've actually redrawn two of his 'dooks' and posted them to my art account AND HE LIKED BOTH OF THEM, I WAS SO HAPPY OMG!!! He used to draw his dooks using only one coloured pencil, so I've also started experimenting with that and instead of using a graphite pencil, I used coloured pencils for my sketches and those gave off very different vibes that I really liked!!

d.) @/rezajeez: Probably *the* kpop fanartist I've been following for the longest of times. They are AMAZING!! They mainly do huge photorealistic portraits with INSANE details. It's funny actually, because their work is the complete opposite to shooky_dough's work. While Reza draws photorealism on a big surface (probably A3? maybe more??) and draws very detailed, Nikki focuses more on sketches/more semirealistic and "simplistic" art and it's usually drawn quite small, so seeing these opposites really broadens my horizon, I think^^

e.) Last but nor least, @/rossdraws: In my opinion, he's the modern day Bob Ross! His art is so freaking stunning, have you checked out his digital art landscape series?? The amount of talent this man holds in his pinky finger is more than I've got in my whole body like- OOF a huge inspiration to me!!~

4. If you could play any instrument, which would you play?

× The guitar!! I really want to learn how to play it~

5. If you could choose one anime to live in, which one would you choose and why?

× Either Ouran High School Host Club or Your Lie In April. The first one is just so much fun and I'd love hanging out with the host club members and as for the latter,,, I just really want to be here for Kousei and help him through his anxiety because I know so well how it feels like and I also wish I could sing while he plays the piano, we'd be a great duo✊🏻😔 (I'm sorry, I couldn't choose one)

6. This is a bit of an old DeviantArt fic trend, but if you received an Android of your favourite character from any anime/show/etc., who would it be?

× Hmmm... that's a great question omg there's so many amazing choices I could make😭😭 But I think I'd go with Kirito, I just really really love him ahhhhh

7. Is there anything you would like to do but haven't because your friends/family didn't want to do it with you?

× There's actually a few things I could name... first, I really want to go bungee jumping (preferably from the Macau Tower, as it's the highest bungee jump in the world😍) but my fam and friends think I'm crazy for wanting to do this but I'm actually quite an adventurous person which probably not many people know about me, so I love doing stuff like that.✊🏻😂

× I would also really like to travel with friends... it's not that I dislike travelling with my mom and stepdad but whenever I can't take someone with me, I feel like such a child ??? idk,, never travelling (I wanted to say "without adults" but then I realized I AM an adult) on my own with friends and always tagging along with my parents kind of make me feel like I'm not independent or mature/grown-up for it. But I feel like none of my friends want to travel with me... most of them have a travel buddy already but I just... don't akdjsjs

× and last but not least, getting more specific, I really want to travel to Hawaii and South Korea, but so far, I haven't made it there yet :c

8. What's your favourite flower?

× Cherry Blossoms all the way💞 but all flowers are beautiful and I really like roses, too.

9. What are some of your hobbies?

× My hobbies include singing, drawing, dancing, writing, reading, researching astrology, studying Korean, watching youtube videos/netflix, listening to music and OF COURSE DAYDREAMING✊🏻😔

10. If you were going to be stranded on a deserted island with nothing but the clothes on your back and a bag, what would you put in the bag?

× I'd definitely put food and water in the bag, my phone, earphones, a portable solar charger with a USB cable (so that my phone won't die and I could chill for however long I want while watching kpop mv's and then also use my phone to call for someone to rescue me from this island once I start running low on resources), all the books I still want to read, my art supplies and a few sketch books, some towels that I could use to lay on or use as blankets, a pillow and my teddy bear, and obviously a toothbrush and toothpaste, a hairbrush and a few hair ties and bobby pins (you don't want long sweaty hair stuck to your skin during a hot summer ewww), some soap to wash myself and my clothes, sunscreen and also some insect spray to keep the bugs away!! (it's a big bag, okay)

~

Sorry for writing such an essay omg!!

Here are my 10 questions:

1. What compliment you've received meant the most to you?

2. Would you rather meet your favourite celebrity/group/bias and realize they're not at all how you imagined them to be like (maybe they're not as kind as you thought, for example) or never meeting them in person but it turning out that they're actually the amazing, kind, sweet, generous, etc. person that you thought they were? (I hope that makes sense hhhh I think the ethics of this question are really interesting)

3. What's your current favourite song you always use to get hyped up to or a song currently stuck in your head?

4. If you had to write the book of your life, what genre would it be and what would you choose as a title?

5. Name your top 5 musical artists and your favourite song of each of them?

6. If you were invited to a big humanitarian event and had to give a speech on a topic you'd want to bring about a huge change for the better, what topic would you choose to speak about and voice your opinions/ideas? (Assume public speaking is one of your strongest assets and you'll ace this no matter what)

7. What is something (a skill, personality trait, or something appearance related, it can be whatever) you wish you had and/or you really admire in other people?

8. What's your favourite anime/show/youtuber (you can answer whichever you got an answer for, it can be all three options of course :D)?

9. In kpop, are you more into vocalists, dancers, rappers, maknaes, leaders, or visuals (or maybe a mix of some/all :'))?

10. What's your most beautiful/favourite memory?

oof I hope these questions will be interesting to answer🥺 hmm, Imma tag @littlefallenrebel @jinniesmeow @softpastelmx @yeonki @hanstagrams @marculees @chrryjin and anyone else who'd like to do this~💞💞💞

TRAs should be absolutely slamming Nikkie Tutorials. Here is a trans-identified male who admits that he lied to his straight boyfriend for years, effectively raping a straight man for years.

You want straight men to stop murdering TIMs for deceiving them or traps or whatever the fuck it’s being called these days? Then fucking CONDEMN the rape of straight men.

By standing behind this guy, you are telling all the straight men out there - who are the biggest (only) danger to TIMs - that you’re exactly what they think you are. Like yeah, men shouldn’t be murdering TIMs in the first place, but homophobia is a hell of a drug. Instead of celebrating a rapist and having a laugh at his straight boyfriend (who he raped), maybe say “this is not who we are we do not condone this.” I bet if Nick’s boyfriend leaves, ya’ll will start screaming transphobia.

This is why you’re not part of the lgb community. We just want to live in peace, not hurting anyone, find someone who loves us for us etc. You Ts are over there literally laughing about hurting straight guys and lesbians and gay men, wondering how you can get away with raping everyone for vAlIdAtIoN.

Just fuck off. You have me defending straight men and that’s enough for me to hate you tbh.

Tarot Cards and Psychics

I'm actually kinda sceptical when it comes to psychics. Though I do believe that there are real psychics out there but there's also a lot of frauds like the Long Island Medium lady and another lady whose name I forgot but it was so obvious that she was a fraud that preyed on the vulnerable to gain money. Like LIM says the most generic stuff! "I'm getting wings, s/he is coming back to see you with wings like a butterfly or a bird" And the people she's "reading" says yes and that s/he will come and visit us as a robin. Meanwhile my mom and I are sitting in the living room like

As far as Tarot cards go I just don't know how they work and that's basically it? Im just curious how you read them and how they work in general. Given the 20-40% of my content on here im actually curious about it.

With that being said, I recently found a YouTuber/Twitch streamer called Antphrodite and he's a pop culture psychic that does tarot readings on people like Rich Lux, Eugenia Coony, to kind of events like the Nikkie Tutorials and her coming out video to the Jeffery Epstein "suicide". And a lot of what he says/reads comes true and I definitely believe that he's the real deal and I stan. I highly recommend everyone to check him out if you guys are into this kind of stuff like me.

FULL FACE OF FLAWLESS In-Depth Makeup Tutorial | NikkieTutorials

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhLCzSwUTvc

Hey a couple of weeks ago over on Twitter @nikkietutorials,if you're not following me someone created this conversation about how this like soft beat is so,Popular right now. You see it on all that like influencers. You see it on all the celebrities and it's a type of makeup,Look where it looks,Natural in a very glam and extra way and in that tweet, someone said that I couldn't do that,Just imagine me being on my phone like this like oh my god. Yes. Oh my god. Yeah girl,That is a good Nikki can't do it. Okay,So when I saw that I was like, you know what I haven't done an in depth of makeup tutorial in so long,So today we are going back to our roots sitting down and playing with makeup,And I'm doing so in collaboration with Marc Jacobs Beauty as you know, I am their global,artistry advisor,So this video is in collaboration,With them to showcase you a couple of products that I've been really really liking and that I'm super proud of that they came out,With so if you're excited about the good old makeup days,And if you actually want to see if I'm able to do a perfect soft beat like that then keep watching,Alrighty let the in-depth tutorial commence the first product I really want to talk about is youthquake,This is a brand new product to Marc Jacobs,and I'm really really liking it because I worked with it back at New York Fashion Week when I,Joined the Marc Jacobs beauty team to do make a backstage at Fashion Week. It is a moisturizer that,it's a moisturizer that,Perfectly preps the skin for all the paint whenever I plan on doing my makeup and my skin is feeling a little bit dry,I like to go in with this really work it in and get that moisture back it like creates the perfect canvas,so in here are pineapple enzymes that,retexturize and remoisturize,the skin now moving on to primer primer is really essential if you want your makeup to last and,Before Marc Jacobs had this product right here. This is the undercover,Invisible perfecting coconut primer. So now they came out with this right here. This is the undercover,Blurring coconut primer. So this is great at hiding the appearance of your pores,You know,It evens up the texture it gives you that veil of blurriness and it controls,Oils meaning that it will keep your makeup on longer and making it look flawless till the end of the day,So I like to take just a tiny bit of this,You definitely don't need a lot and I kind of tap it into the skin tap tap tap and it creates that blurry,Filter and it smells amazing. It smells like coconut,So if you love coconuts you are in for a party,But why I like this so much is usually when it comes to like blurring primers,They become super matte, which is a good thing because that will keep your makeup on longer,But they also dry out my skin and I have the type of skin that dries out very quickly,I have combination skin and this thank God doesn't do that for me,So thank God I collaborated with the brand that like gets it. Let's see, especially my nose,It looks a blurred it looks like there's a filter on top of it. Okay, so the groundwork has been done,I'm primed. I am ready for all the makeup. I'm ready for all the paint. Let's go in with foundation now,I you guys know I love this one. This is my makeup revolution. It is the conceal and defined foundation. That is the foundation,I'm going to be going in with today just full coverage. It looks like skin,It looks beautiful now a little trick since summertime is here,you can add in a couple of,luminizing drops and I think it's fun to let you know that if you love the Marc Jacobs dewdrops and do you,There's a brand new color for my dark skinned divas out there,This is the new color. Look at that is a lot more tan a lot more deep. This is,Tantalized okay,Let's start working that into the skin and make sure that if you want full coverage from your product to tap,That sponge onto the skin. So no smearing no,Dragging up and down short tapping motions. Look at that. Ooh,It's got a beautiful healthy shine to it. The skin is looking right,The forehead baby because my forehead has been a problem area,But it's I woke up this morning and it cleared up a lot,So I was like, okay. This is a good makeup day honey,Ooh Yeah, look at that face honey look at the face I,Love makeup so much for concealer today. I'm using the elf flawless concealer,So I always start tapping at the bottom of the concealer first,To make sure that everything that's like sort of on my cheeks is blended to perfection,like that,Look at that Oh flawless and then you look up and you barely tap underneath the eye,So you get the most coverage? Hey Jackie ina. Thank you for the tip honey. Barely tapped the under I like straight to the lashes,So it remains the most coverage?,Ever and then I'm gonna set everything using my fancy Beauty Pro filter powder and butter. I,Quickly went off camera to do my brows and to do the first eye and as you can see it is a very,Smokey sculpted summer and like any season really type of look,I mean when you look at all the inspiration one thing that really speaks to me is that,Overall, the look is very matte when it comes to the eyes,There's a lot of bronziness going on on the skin and a lot of Dew and glow,but when it comes to the eyes,It is fairly matte and very sculpted,And now remember miss tutorials over here has hooded eyes and I love this technique because you go beyond the line,You go beyond the skin and sculpt your own dream, really? So let's start it off. Let's Optimus Prime,The palette I'll be dipping into today is my color pop and Becky G and this is Salvaje and going in with this color,Right here. And that is called Carmelo. And with this we're gonna build our structure. I pick up the color on a morphe M,4-3-3 brush,And I start placing it. I look straight into my mirror. So not like down or up,I look straight into my mirror and I place that color on the outside of my crease, but above my crease,This is the first tip if you're following your own natural lines,If you have hooded eyes like I do it's it's all just gonna fall down and nobody's gonna see it,So we got to go in and create our own height,So I look forward and I go above where my natural crease is and I start stamping in,That color now. Like I said, this look is very sculpted,So I'm also bringing it onto the lid and blending it in towards the eye,more towards the lashline for a smoky liner look then I go ahead pick up more and,placed it right here in the outer corner cover that entire lid and now you see that the outer portion of your eye is completely,Covered but we need to find our angle and I think the best angle for like a wing out,Sculpted shape like this is by just following the waterline. So like right there,Okay, now that you've got that outer corner down it is time to build more structure in your,Crease so just softly I pick up more of that color and I start bringing it in,Towards the center of my eye,Just using soft circular motions. I'm barely touching the skin and see we're going in baby. I'm bringing it in but almost,slanting up,Towards like this portion of the brow,We're basically hitting that so we're going up up up honey. Then we're gonna do something scary, but have faith,We're talking about makeup here, but have faith. We're gonna go up onto,that brow to like the the first third of the brow and then down towards this portion of,Sort of like the the side of the nose bridge,So basically the shape is like going out like a cat shape,Into the crease up to that brow down towards this portion here. Does that make any sense?,The most scary part is getting it into that brow. I'm blending into my brow and,Bringing it towards this nose line. We call it here,Now a little trick is to sort of like smush it into the front of the brow,so,You know where you're going little circles into the front of the brow,Brushing downwards do the magic for you,then I pick up a morphe m562 and i'm placing that brush flat against my skin and,From that sort of structure you want to kind of scratch above it to create your fade,This by holding the brush like this against the cheek and sort of like waving at the blend,You're giving it that soft haze,I'm barely touching the skin too and for this outer corner here since we're doing that pulled out shape,Really softly fade that out from that same palette. I'm taking the dark brown called cafecito,cafecito pasito~ I don't know what that means but I'm saying it,And one thing I've definitely also noticed is that the outer corner and the lash line are like a smoky sultry dark crack,I'm just a drop your brush. So I'm definitely gonna use that color to darken that outer portion up a bit,Tapping it on,As soon as you take a dark color like this and you start swirling it onto the eye you will have fallout 4 days,Honey, so be cautious,Drama,Yes,Okay for the lid I'm not taking Luna that matte white sort of like really like deja light shade and,You can opt for a shimmery shade here. I just love the beauty of,Having an all matte eye,With this type of look. I don't know. It's it's like really hitting all the fields for me,So I'm just setting that portion that we haven't really done much with yet with this shade,You can go all the way up and kind of reinforce,The contrast between light and dark see what I'm doing. I'm giving it back that,Now I'm taking the dark brown color cuff acetal and,I'm stamping it on to where I would normally apply a liquid liner,So on to the lash line and this creates very very soft but effective,Smoked out lash lines then for the lower lash line, I take caramello and I just stamp it on and,Don't drag it in too far because with a lot of the shapes on the bottom,I'm seeing a lot of darkness towards the corner and then as it fades in on the lower lash line,it becomes lighter and lighter so I'm definitely,Channeling that so now that I'm reaching that outer corner here and going in with cafecito,and,Bringing the sculpted drama. I,Think it is super important to,Connect the lower lash line to the outer corner here to make it one,Down and then another thing I think is vital to this look is opening up the,waterline using a nude or white pencil,My favorite is by car pop the cream gel liner and this one is in the color honey, dude,Okay, that is it's sculpting wise and shadow wise now pop on your favorite pair of lashes and bottom,Mascara and I'll be right back. Alright time for the cheeks and the face portion is,Really really important to this look because when you look at all the inspiration a lot of structure is happening on the eyes,But even more structure is happening on the face. So I'm going in with my Marc Jacobs bronzer in tantric,But I do want to let you know that along with the dewdrops they're also now is a deeper shade of bronzer,This is also in the shade tantalize and yeah, dark-skinned divas. Hello. So a lot of the warmth is happening around,Here, so the forehead is sculpted to the heavens and a lot of warmth is almost on the spots where you would highlight,So that is what we're doing today. Grab my mother take up speranza and then,Really high up. Like I'm on my,Highlighting spot I started swirling in that warmth,You don't want to take it too far in about like halfway of the cheeks, but keep it high up, baby,And,Then if you have a large,Forehead ten head like I do you're gonna love this trend because we are here to cut it in half guys,How do you feel about the in-depth sort of makeup tutorial that I'm doing today it?,It brings me back. I feel like I don't do them as much anymore because there's basically not a lot of demand for it,So I hope that you guys are liking it. Even if it's just a little less of a bunch than usual,So yeah,Let me know how you think these videos are and if you still enjoy them one super important thing is to contour the nose,Like nobody's business a contour perfected nose than this look is vital,so I take my brush that has my bronzer and I just kind of,Scratch it over it to give myself that warmth,I,I just focus on getting that color and that shape first and I will focus about the shape after,Once I start carving it out, but it's missing that connection from that inner portion to the nose contour,So it take a fluffy brush and I just connect,That inner portion of the eye to the nose,To give myself that structure. So like I said now it just looks like warmth now,It just looks like a blob of bronzer on the nose,so I'm gonna take a face powder and a dry Beauty sponge and,Carve out the sides and the top to give its shape,So I almost come from that inner corner,and drag it onto the sides of my nose, so,Inner corner drag it down,And I'm also gonna take a little bit and applied red here on the bridge,To get that seat and now you've got a very sculpted nose, but of course, you don't know leave it like this,That's a little a little extreme. So I take a big face brush and I kind of dust away,The edges and that leaves you with a perfectly contoured snatched nose,Without all the fuss without like drawing lines and blending out the lines. It's a quick way to get a perfect snatched,nose now going in with a whisper of,Max blush in peaches and also more up towards the side not really on the Apple,We're really creating this like slanted structured face,So more two words where the bronzer is two for highlighter today,I'm going in with the Wet n Wild mega glow highlighter in bloom time Oh,Deadly you know that sort of do is always going on so I'm also popping the slightest bit on my forehead on,the chin,And of course, I'm gonna do the tip of my nose,Now it's time for another iconic portion of the look overdrawn penciled nude glossy lips you see him on,Everybody lip pencil has really made its comeback and we're all using it to just create the illusion,So I'm going in with the makeup forever artist pencil in anywhere caffeine,It's one of my favorites because I love the tone and I love the the formula of these pencils,now what I'm seeing a lot is that a lot of artists just,Create like a half circle here at the Cupid's bow. I don't necessarily,Like that look on me. It's a little too much because I've got my little ears going on is like it's like a lot,Okay, that's a lot,But I do love to kind of go over the edge,when lining my lips to give myself that extra pout,So I always pull my lip in like this like huh? And then just kind of create the McDonald's line on my Cupid's bow,Like that now, of course you can go bigger you can create that half circle right here, but I,Like it like this now, I'm just gonna frame the lip,For lipstick I'm taking the k'kaw Beauty nude lipstick and number one,You want this to be nude, honey?,So I definitely bring it up to that lip liner,I think it's weird if you just stay below it and it's sort of just like sitting there,So blend this and with the contours you just have flex to those lips and all do you see the fantasy coming along?,Now I will say you eat there love that look or you hate it I feel like there's no in-between,I hopefully Loehmann's I'm really excited about this Marc Jacobs Beauty has come out with a special edition,Glitter colored enamour'd lip glosses enamoured with pride. It comes in a special pride packaging and this color here is,This color here. It's called pink parade and look at that glitter. Look at that shine. It's gonna go perfect with this,Glossy nude lip trend and fur gloss definitely bring it all the way to the edge,Boom some setting spray and we're done and,That is it guys,I feel like this is the one of the very highly demanded looks that I see going around lately,And I absolutely love it and to that one person on Twitter that said that I couldn't do it,Hi, it was also great to be able to showcase you a couple of the new Marc Jacobs beauty products available at Markakis Beauty calm,And Sephora calm so uh, yeah without any further ado. Let's go on to the Dutch word of the day,For today, I thought it was pretty difficult, but I came up with one sultry boo,Boo I don't I don't know how to bring it to you fool that I look you've got going on is so school if you,Want to be featured in my next video?,All you have to do is leave a comment down below,Featuring the Dutch word of the day or leave a video response on instagram under the hashtag,Dutch word of the day and I thank you so much for watching,I hope you enjoyed let me know if you want more in depth makeup tutorials back on my channel,And I love you and hopefully I will see you guys on the next one

Prompt: 10 Years Later / Camp Activity Pairing(s): Gwen/David Word Count: 2,233 Summary: Day Six for @gwenvidweek in which David has a delinquent past with not so delinquent origins and Gwen still can’t read Max as well as David can.

Gwen realizes David is plotting something the second he refuses to tell her what he’s thinking.

A default David spills his thoughts like a waterfall, assuming of course that those thoughts are kind, true, and necessary following their most recent attempt at turning these kids into decent people with life lessons that extended far beyond the responsibilities in Gwen’s job description.

Not even kissing that spot behind his ear yields results, although he does sorta melt which is at least very funny.

“David,” she says in the best imitation of her mother’s top-tier parent guilt she can manage, which evidently is pretty damn good since he offers her a pathetically guilty side glance in response.

It’s accented excellently by the blush that has resiliently made camp on David’s face. David, pale white boy David, is the kind of blusher where it concentrates at the bridge of his nose, fading prettily onto his cheeks.

She has enough personal experience to know he has a tendency to flush down his chest too but that’s neither here nor there in the present moment.

“David, you know what happens when one of us tries to plan something without the other getting involved?” Gwen asks.

“It blows up in our face?” he guesses, bottom lip finding its way between his teeth.

“It blows up in our face!” she agrees, scooting to sit on the ottoman in front of him on the couch. Gwen grabs both his hands with her own and David glances down at them before his eyes move back to meet Gwen’s. “We have to be a united front or those fucking monsters out there are going to eat us alive.”

“Aw, Gwen. They’re good kids,” David protests. Gwen resists the urge to roll her eyes but it’s a close one. Best friend or no, she’s pretty sure it’s bad girlfriend etiquette. Then again, playing into David’s inability to lie to get information out of him probably toes some sort of line too.

“I just don’t want you getting in over your head,” she admits softly. Whatever it is he’s been thinking so hard about is bound to end up unappreciated in the best case scenario and in the worst, there’ll be some kind of fire.

David cares so genuinely for the campers and while Gwen is fond of them on a good day, she knows better than to expect anything. It’s unfathomable that David could still be so surprised and hurt by the actions of kids who have proven not to be trusted with something as fragile as someone else’s feelings.

“Have you noticed that during individual camp activities, Max just…sits there?” he asks and it could be a derailing of the conversation but that’s not how David operates.

“We’ve already established Max doesn’t want to be here, David.”

“That’s not true.” He says it so confidently, Gwen almost believes him but she knows given the chance, Max would bolt.

It’s not even that she thinks he wants to be anywhere else; ever since the disaster of Parents’ Day, their biggest little monster had seemed much more subdued. Certainly more receptive to David’s personal brand of smothering attention even if that reception still involved spewing every swear he knew and a few Gwen thinks he might be mispronouncing.

But the reality is that David and Gwen are an extension of Camp Campbell and Camp Campbell is just another reminder of how much bullshit the world could throw you.

At the end of the day, they’re the ones who didn’t realize Max’s form was blank. Gwen herself hadn’t checked Max’s forms since her first year when a quick ‘camp’ had been scrawled onto the camp selection space.

At the time, she’d just laughed and assumed Max’s parents had a wicked sense of humor. David assured her that it had been the same the year before and they’d just kept him occupied with stereotypical camp crafts while the older kids did their specific camp thing.

It’s almost tragic the number of friendship bracelets the poor kid had made before he got to an age where he told them to fuck themselves and refused to participate in anything they tried to entertain him with.

She’s pretty sure David still had a couple, somewhere back in the apartment.

“Max doesn’t want a camp, babe,” she says, trying to help him realize before this just ended up breaking his heart. Max was, despite his general unpleasant demeanor, a decent enough kid but he had sharp edges that just didn’t soften. Not like David’s had.

No matter what he said, they weren’t the same.

David looks her in the eyes and the determination she sees there is unlike camp David.

It’s the David who sometimes worked sixty hour weeks to ensure they made rent and walked Gwen to job interviews in the rain after a graveyard shift and two morning classes. It’s the David who got kicked out of his house the second he was legal, surviving on a part time job and his own optimisim.

Gwen doesn’t argue with this David.

“Just because he doesn’t want one doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve one. I’m not stupid, Gwen. I know Max isn’t going to start singing the Camp Campbell anthem and participating in group activities, but we’re getting on in camp. Max deserves this.”

She suspects there’s more to it than that. Serious David exists to cope with the reality of life and Gwen suspects the harsh reality of life dictates that they might very well lose Max soon if something didn’t give in the tension of his relationship with Camp Campbell.

Gwen realizes she hates the idea of that as much as David does.

“So, what? We’re going to make some sort of Max Camp?” she asks incredulously and sighs when he beams at her. Of fucking course they are. Well fuck. It’s worth a shot. Worse case scenario, she ends up with a weepy boyfriend tomorrow night.

She can’t even imagine what the best case scenario is in this situation.

David disappears the next morning in the camp car and the kids whisper about it all breakfast. After the third separate speculation that David has finally snapped and they’re never seeing him again, Gwen’s ready to pull her hair out. Kids are so dumb sometimes.

“He just went out to grab something, you monsters,” she reassures, ushering them out of the Mess Hall for their individual activities. Nikki bounds out on all fours and immediately scurries up a tree just outside. Gwen sighs.

At least she’ll be easy to keep an eye on from the Mess Hall.

She turns back from the door and sees Max sitting alone at one of the tables. It brings back images of a tiny ball of seven year old glaring at the table with a crayon clenched tightly in his fist.

“Coloring isn’t even a fucking camp activity, Gwen,” she recalls him saying with all the spite a seven year old was capable of. Gwen still finds herself surprised by just how much that really is.

David slides up beside her, plastic bag in hand and looking like he’s being made to murder someone. Max finally looks up, eyebrows knitting together when he sees them actively staring at him, suspicion coloring his face when he gets a good look at David’s guilty one.

“The fuck do you two assclowns want?” he asks but it’s more curiosity than hostility so Gwen thinks they’re still in the clear.

“We decided to sign you up for Max Camp,” Gwen says, hating how stupid the words sound when said to the boy himself. Max Camp. David better be right about this.

“I’m not making anymore fucking friendship bracelets. Fuck off,” Max dismisses and Gwen really does roll her eyes this time. When did she decide that all the boys in her life needed to be one extreme or the other.

“David’s going to teach you how to pick a lock,” she corrects, placing a hand on the dip of the other counselor’s lower back and pushing him forward. David stumbles but they both make their way to sit across from Max.

“The fuck? Why is David teaching me how to pick a lock?” Max asks, hands making their way to dig through the bag David is still clutching to his chest like something precious. Gwen gently smacks them away.

“Because between the two of us, David actually knows how to pick a lock.”

Max eyes leave the bag and he looks up at them in surprise. Gwen can’t blame him.

“Why?” Max says it with such interest, Gwen for the first time believes this might actually accomplish something.

“Gwen use to get locked out of her house a lot,” David answers and Gwen snorts. Maybe David wasn’t so bad at this lying thing after all, as long as there was fact in the lie.

“Damn, David. Not untrue but not the truth either. Lying to a child,” she teases, instantly feeling bad when his face falls. Sure, the lock picking tutorial had been Gwen’s idea. It’s the first one on one activity she could think of that would hold Max’s interest but David hadn’t been quite this hesitant last night.

A silence falls on them as Max bores a hole in David with his eyes.

“Mr. Campbell taught me,” he admits finally, shoulders slumping and Max’s eyes flash in recognition that he had won. “Because I mentioned sometimes my parents…forgot to leave me a key.” Gwen frowns. That information she hadn’t been privy to.

She hates the way he says ‘forgot’ like he genuinely believes it.

She’d obviously known he could pick locks and he had definitely helped her get into her house more than a handful of times. She’d even known that sleezeball Campbell had been the one to teach him but after meeting the man herself, she had assumed it was just another case of his self-ego boosting bullshit disguised as a considerate act.

“But!” he perks up, pulling out a couple cut-away locks she’s sure must have been dug out of their kitchen island since there’s no chance anyone in Sleepy Peak was dealing in lockpicking tools. “It’s come in handy a lot since then so we’ll call it a survival skill and you’ll promise not to take advantage.”

“Why would I do that?” Max asks, reaching out to grab one of the locks. David places one of his hands over Max’s, trapping it against the table.

“Max.”

They have a stare down but finally, Max groans in defeat.

“Fine, whatever. I bet you don’t even really know what you’re doing but it’s better than that bullshit we use to do.”

David, as in everything, is a wonderful teacher and it’s even easier with Max actually interested in what’s being taught. It doesn’t take him long to demonstrate the technique, giving an in-depth explanation for what’s happening and why that Gwen is certain didn’t extend from Campbell’s lesson years ago.

“Do you remember when we broke into Slotnik’s desk because he took my phone?” Gwen asks as Max settles into practicing with the lock on his own. David flushes but he smiles down at the table.

“Yes. It’s not my proudest moment,” David says, glancing up at her through his eyelashes in a way that is unintentionally obscene. Gwen’s feels her heart beat in her chest.

“Are you two fucking?” Max asks, eyes still trained on where he’s working.

“Max, please,” David chastises in the same moment Gwen says, “So what if we are?”

That draws the boy’s attention and his hands freeze. David is looking too guilty and nervous again and Gwen wants it to stop. She can’t understand where David draws the line with his treatment of Max. It’s so obvious that something with Max is different but she’s getting whiplash with this back and forth of honesty and professional detachment.

Max stares for a moment, seemingly working something through his mind.

“Is it…a new thing?” he asks and Gwen gets the feeling the answer is more important than they know. Max is naturally nosy but it seems like he takes what they do more personally than any of the campers. Gwen doesn’t know if it’s because they’re adults or because something with David is different for Max too.

“Yes. But Gwen and I have been friends for a long time, Max,” David answers honestly and Gwen can’t quite pick out what part of that was the right answer but the concern on Max’s face softens. He nods and goes back to his task, little demon grin emerging as he manages to successfully unlock the lock.

“Can I ask one more question?” he asks and David looks exhausted but Max rarely asks permission for anything.

“Yes, Max,” David says with all the patience in the world.

“Does this mean Gwen thinks you look like a fish?”

She can’t help it. David looks so overwhelmed and it’s more of a dig at her than anything but she bursts into loud, wheezing laughter that draws the attention of the campers closest to the Mess Hall. They pile in, curious as to what set Gwen off and made David look so unhappy.

God, if this kid didn’t watch it, Gwen wasn’t going to be able to let him go.

She refuses to admit she may already be there.

the great, big popnikki contributors post

Greetings from Miraland! Love, the POPNikki Team

That’s all of us. All 30+*. This is the team that’s worked (for a lot of us daily) since May to brainstorm, draft, and bring life to this crazy vision-turned-project. 

Now that we’re literally 30 days from Zine launch (and two weeks away from launching Site + our YouTube channel), I want to introduce you to everyone because POPNikki is not just the simple FanZine Project I started out asking fans to join. It’s since become a collective of like-minded creators, and don’t you think you’d like to meet all of us? 

*NOTE: Our FanArt Team Co-Lead Kira is technically missing from this group shot, but she’s with us in spirit and despite a busy schedule WILL make an appearance in our Summer Zine after all! ^^ Also not pictured is Site Team’s periidote and IRL Team’s Luna-- also with us in spirit!

Team Leads

POPNikki is divided into three divisions and each has its own subdivs requiring, well, WORK. The following group of Contributors help me keep each sector running smoothly (including a Contributor named Lilly who you’ll meet in the next section!).

The Librarian: Editor-in-Chief of POPNikki Zine and the founder of this operation, I have a toe in every division if I really think about it. But my personal skillset lies in brainstorming, cheerleading, and editing, which is why I head up the FanFic Zine Team and Co-Lead FanVid with Sea. ^^ Follow my blog for LN Resources. I archive them neatly so we can find them all again later ^^

Clow: Site Team Co-Lead, Developer, and Zine Editor (read: my partner-in-crime), Clow is a great collaborator who can take a vision, no matter how messy and turn it somehow into exactly what you need + want. Clow’s creative but modern style (and way of thinking) is reflected in the Site she’s helped design (can’t wait for y’all to join and see! ^^). You’ll want to follow Clow’s blog for all sorts of LN related posts, my faves being the lovely Starry Corridor photos found from all over.

Yoko: Unfortunately Yoko is taking a break from Tumblr, but when Site opens, we’ll update with a way to reach her! Yoko is the other Site Team Co-Lead and Developer whose incredible patience and research skills have helped bring Site to fruition. 

Ms. Loki: Ah, Loki... What can I say that you don’t already know? When I can’t find my head or my glasses (which often leads to me consistently uploading the wrong things), Ms. Loki is right there going above and beyond the call of IRL Team Co-Lead. Not only does she manage a group of Contributors (and I swear, most days, me!), but she also finds time to Contribute, herself! Look forward to her art and articles as she’s become a key part of our FanArt and IRL Teams. (And if you’re not already following for ALL OF THE LN THINGS... ^^ Ms. Loki is usually the OP!)

Val: FanArt Team Co-Lead Val has really had to step up this season due to an unexpected scheduling conflict. "Single-handedly” juggling a whole team of artists using a collaborative leadership style, Val has shown not only her skill as an artist but as a leader this term. Follow her art blog for a peek at her versatile art style or her personal blog to reciprocate the support she’s shown to POPNikki this Summer~

Sea: My FanVid Co-Lead and one of our three video editors, Sea is just amazing to work with. Perhaps it’s her eye for beauty (or the fact that she can find the beauty in everything), but every conversation ends in laughter and every problem finds a solution. She’s always ready to cheer our team on, so please do the same for her (and we’ll be sure to link you to her personal YouTube channel after Zine Launch!).

Dayan:  IRL Team Co-Lead and Artist, Dayan’s ideas and participation have both played integral parts in the fruition of this project. Dayan almost bursts with creativity and an energy that really keeps you going. Did you know that in addition to her LN Blog, she also has another blog for her art? I’m such a fan of all our Contributors, but there’s something so lovely about Dayan’s style that I can’t help but share every post. I feel so lucky to have her on board, and y’all are lucky too because you won’t have to wait for Zine before seeing some of her work. She’s also been working on a very fun Site Feature that will meet you guys once we launch! ^^

*Kira: FanArt Team Co-Lead (and supposed to be on break for this issue, Kira did a few of the background illustrations for Zine articles I know you are going to LOVE! If you don’t follow her LN blog, you’re missing out on a wealth of .png and background resources.

Site + Social Media Contributors

Lilly:  Despite a busy schedule offline this season, our Social Media Manager Lilly still managed to pull off a very special project, complete IRL and FanFic write ups, edit, and head the Social Media subdiv by some miracle over the past few months (thank you so much). Lilly’s eye for detail has been extremely valuable and so when you go to follow her LN blog, be sure to note how you’ll only be getting the good stuff over there ;) You may also get to chat with Lilly at some point if you follow us in her domain-- the POPNikki Tumblr (and soon, our other social media).

Red: Our IRL, Site, and Social Media Contributor, Red, has been such a gift to this project. In Fall, we can’t wait to show you the fun project he’s been working on, but in the meantime, look forward to his Game Guides. Are you counting down the minutes with us? Red can be found here and here on his LN specific blogs! 

Royce: Royce recently joined POPNikki but has hit the ground running. Now our go-to for Site graphics, we can’t wait to hear how you like the awesome visuals Royce has whipped up! You may already know to follow his LN blog for only the best Royce RP aesthetics on the block. Blue roses to anyone who does XD (or check out his OCs RP blog)  

Clark: Part of our Social Media subdiv and working on a super fun, super secret FanFic project for a future Zine edition (why yes we are thinking about Fall...), Clark’s been a supporter of this project from the get-go. Follow him for fun from a slew of different fandoms (Monster High meets LN, anyone? I’m just sayin’).

periidote: periidote is a Site Team Contributor who will be helping with Site FanPOP Features starting end of Summer/ early Fall! Follow periidote’s LN blog here and get ready for great content from her~

YouTube Contributors

Legs: My go-to video editor in a pinch (whether it’s for advice or for help or to make sense of this vision I had in a dream...), Legs always returns a product above and beyond expectations. July 18th, y’all. Be ready! And in the meantime, follow Legs, for game-related jargon (including but not limited to Love Nikki)

Haley: FanVid Team Contributor and YouTube Channel manager. Haley is always full of great ideas, but when YouTube opens, feel free to drop us comments with even more! 

Brittany:  FanVid Team + FanFic Team Contributor Brittany is also one who’s always brainstorming. We can’t wait for you to see her tutorials and meet her ideas in Zine when it drops this August! 

LittleAvalonia: I’m very excited for what the future holds with an actress like LittleAvalonia on our team. Funny (and having fun), LittleAvalonia brings a new element to LN FanPOP that we can’t wait to share with you. 

Witchy: IRL + FanVid Team Contributor, Witchy, is a gem in the POPNikki Contributor pool. Look forward to Halloween (feels so far, I know!) when we debut their sketch(es ^^) and articles. In the meantime, follow Witchy to check out their art and more.

Joltik: Our newest video editor thanks to her enthusiasm and helpfulness after our latest Open Call, Joltik is already hitting the ground running in her new role! Full of ideas and ready to work, I feel so grateful she’s joined our team! ^^ Don’t forget to give her a follow for LN related tips, tricks, and info. 

twinklebear: Joining us with awesome content come Fall, twinklebear helps out where needed, particularly in Site Team and of course, here in the FanVid group. ^^ 

Zine Contributors: 

Donsveertje: Donsveertje (known as Beetle to me) is a phenomenal artist who answered a POPNikki Open Call. Happy to help with any project when time allows (and actually working a few zines at the moment!), Beetle has great energy, ideas, and can really bring your vision to the page. The laughs are a blessed bonus. ^^ 

Fishbone: The more I work with Fishbone, the more I fall in love with her work. An artist who’s willing to try different things (no matter how crazy they sound) until they work, Fishbone is such a dedicated and positive team member. With like a million Tumblr accounts XD (follow them all here and here and here as well!).

ArtisticArmoury: Another Open Call gem, ArtisticArmoury has been so great to work with. Every part of the process is not only well done but also fun as we’ve been having a blast adding even more expression and visual color to the FanFic Feature he’s now a part of. Check out ArtisticArmoury’s art or personal blogs to get a sense of his work. 

Inky: Also finding the time between a tight schedule, Inky has jumped into this project as an artist from an Open Call. You may recognize Inky as the artist of that awesome piece re: the doctor. But Inky has another, strictly LN blog that I hope you’re following because it is full of fun LN stuff (like important update infos but also MEMES y’all). 

Zemiki: Zemiki is a Feature Artist in the POPNikki Zine Summer Issue. Already known for her great work, Zemiki’s providing several original pieces for fans to enjoy to accompany our second FanFic Feature! Get a feel for her style by following her art or personal blogs. 

Astie:  IRL Team Contributor Astie has an unstoppable energy that brings life and joy to the POPNikki Team. Look forward to the article Astie has prepared for y’all in Zine this Summer (while we work on finding the link to the Tumblr-- we’ll update you on Site after the launch! ^^).

Roulette:  Roulette is such a hardworker for Zine I cannot. Contributing content to both IRL and FanFic Teams, Roulette writes articles and provides Spanish translations for our guides. Give her a follow! (EDITED TO UPDATE: her blog link! Here’s the best account to reach her at~)

Sophie: My writing buddy, I could honestly send all of the virtual hugs to Sophie. Working together on her FanFic Feature story has shown me both her dedication to the game and being a writer-- two of my favorite things in the whole wide world! XD We also share a love of tea (which is besides the point, but still). While you await Zine launch to get a taste of her words, check out her Tumblr and say hi to my hardworking team member (whose mind and articles are split between FanFic and IRL)~

Yasjupe: Another FanFic Team Contributor (and Feature writer), Yas is a writer whose gorgeous ideas flow into gorgeous thoughts and words on paper. I think you’ll truly enjoy the story she’s been working on. Check out her Tumblr while waiting for Zine to drop! 

Megaera: After reading a fic by Meg re: Prehistory Lord, I knew she HAD to be a part of POPNikki’s FanFic Team this first issue. Megaera’s Summer Feature does not disappoint, and I count my blessings that I get to work with so many talented writers-- and read their work early, of course ;) Be sure to follow Megaera’s LN blog in the event she posts more fiction! She also has a personal blog you’re welcome to follow.

Rev: For this summer’s issue, IRL Team Rev teamed up with FanVid Team to create a sweet tutorial for you all. Honestly, you’ll be amazed, I think when Zine drops! In future, we might also see articles by this Contributor as Rev is known for helpful guides and great Starry Corridor pics! You can also check out Rev’s personal blog. 

Iri:  Many of you might recognize Iri for her helpful event guides and suit breakdowns on YouTube. We know her as apart of the team (and seriously, what a joy ^^)! Despite a hectic schedule, Iri has Contributed an article and exclusive interview for you guys this summer. Can you imagine what Fall will bring? If you’re already hype, subscribe to her YouTube channel to hold ya over to Aug. 1st ^^

Contributors Debuting this Fall 

Jace-Darkheart: Officially part of FanFic Team as a comic writer and artist, we hope you’ll get to see Darkheart’s work come Fall!

Ile: Though scheduling conflicts mean you won’t be seeing our Artist, Ile’s work this Summer, we hope you can find some in Zine this Fall! 

Luna: Though scheduling conflicts mean you won’t be seeing IRL Team Contributor Luna’s work in Zine this Summer, we hope you’ll be able to see her fun article on Site or in Zine by Fall!

Our Team is huge so following everyone might seem like A LOT. But don’t forget that you can follow @popnikkiofficial​ on Tumblr now to ask questions about the project and officially become part of the POPNikki Community here on Tumblr. In all honesty, y’all already are part of that Community, and I mean, so are we! So if you can’t follow all, here’s the best one! We’ll see your lovely comments and someone will be checking the POPNikki Ask box later this week to answer questions. (And, I mean, I’m always down to fangirl about this project lol!)

To all of the Contributors on this list (and to come), thank you all so much for making this thing happen. ^^

It gets boring to watch. I also started off as a beauty channel on my youtube, but got bored with doing makeup tutorials and makeup videos. Nikki is so talented and I appreciate her art, just beauty videos are getting more boring.. I guess it does just come down to the different cultures beliefs of what the role of the govt is. I personally believe the role of the govt is simply to protect inalienable rights and provide public commodities (roads, military, police). I not convinced that universal (not free) healthcare or universal higher education are public commodities. Given the current state of the game, and your stated preferences, I wouldn recommend buying it right now. However, I really enjoy it, even though there are things that really frustrate me. I suggest 보령출장마사지 checking back in after the Wild Appalachia content releases to see if that made an effect on things.. Perfect example, my gas fireplace hasnt worked in 2 years. I had 3 people look at it (3 different family members who are all contractors) and got different recommendations from everyone on what was wrong with it. I was getting ready to call a big HVAC company to just come replace the entire unit when I thought about calling Joe Blow a call (local handyman). I possibly looking elsewhere for better Bluetooth audio support. The A2DP sink implementation feels really half baked and slapped together. In addition, it doesn let you do any of the higher bitrate/bit depth stuff that the hardware is theoretically capable of. If "losing a body part" is what Pia and Falia have up on Jeyne, note that Jeyne is about to lose a bit of her nose from frostbite.Her story is admittedly more horrific, I agree. But my point is still that Jeyne's story is easily within range of the other stories you're describing.Why then, does Jeyne get so much more reaction from readers than do other abused victims?Well, that's fairly obvious, right? We see more of Jeyne's suffering (the Ramsey part) up close than we do the others. To the reader, Falia goes from deluded about Euron to tied to the prow of his ship in a chapter. Here are some cards printed in the Year of the Raven that could easily be part of the aggressive archetypes I described post rotation (note this doesn't even take neutral cards into consideration):Some of these have already seen play in those exact archetypes. Whether or not you disagree with any of them, ignoring that 보령출장마사지 these cards exist and suggesting that Blizzard will never print cards like them or even more aggressive ever again is a baseless claim and demonstrates a lack of understanding of how metas form. Power is relative, and the Year of the Mammoth was extremely overpowered, diminishing the effect of a lot of Raven cards over the last year. Told my husband what was going on, we got our food and found a quiet spot outside to eat. Then took the metro back to our hotel for a quiet afternoon. Hated to do it on vacation, but if we didn't shut the day down, it would have ruined the next several days of the trip.ETA: I've gotten them at work. Of course this is worst case scenario and hopefully this is not the case. I mean absolutely no offense with any of what I saying. But. Edit: I used to edit my pics very weird looking as a teen and I would been mortified if I had found my pic here. Even if the comments would be like "why does she feel the need" it would feel horrible to get posted on this sub. I know Nikkie has a huge following but this is about this sub in general and that I feel like this sub doesn really help insecure people.

Distract the eye. Let people look at something else, such as your fabulous sexy hair, your beautiful eyes or an eye catching neckpiece. To look thinner, wear v neck blouses at it helps elongate your body. Am not even sure myself but don you think "I Am. Sasha Fierce" made Beyonce a legend? Think about it, she won 6 Grammys out of 7 nominations. Her singles Halo, Single ladies, Video Phone etc were everywhere during "Sasha Fierce" era and Single ladies dance choreography and even the video itself was so iconic.. However, it possible for most of the craziness that followed to be the results of everyone involved being under a lot of stress and paranoia (think Fargo season 2 type situation). We already saw the town people prejudice against the trashman, together with his war torn psyche, has lead to a catastrophic fallout due to this incident. With an encounter like that, I don imagine the town situation will get better anytime soon, not to mention the already present strong racism and poor living situation of a lot of the town people. So nobody's talking about how Nikkie Tutorials has also said the N word? Makes sense after Jeffrees rant tbh but confuses me as to why didn't Thomas talk about nikkie in his initial video? It just seems as though he's coming for Jeffree. These are grown ass adults accusing each other of name calling and it embarrassing. They don give a shit about the meaning of that word and what it means, all they care about is the backlash of what that word would cause for someone. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it fucking sink. EXCEPT. I glad that you ranted!!! I relate to this so much. It is so confusing. Cause it like I HYPER paying attention to what he up to and what he saying. The person has to want to change. It a difficult, long process. I been working on it for years, and I am HEAPS better than I used to be, but judging by the responses in this thread, I still an unacceptably awful partner. After a rough detox, I moved to the women's facility to complete the 28 day program. After completing that, I got out and got a sponsor. Her boyfriend was the guy I had met in detox's sponsor. I dont want to support the 경주출장마사지 onslaught of political correctness and diversity and inclusion when I already agree with the positive side of of those tenants. The prevalence of it in most of Hollywood and its offshoots. Which have bleed into the gaming industry, implies that the producers of such content feel the majority of the consumers need to be trained because they are xenophobic in some way. She was obviously trying to create and signal distance (but maybe not comfortable to outright say it, perhaps in part for fear of professional ramifications on her end), and would have had me at "we can hang out platonically at our previous rate". She obviously didn want to be friends. Sounds like it was a good arrangement while the arrangement part lasted, but most times (just as in vanilla) it easier to walk away than do the "friends" thing once the embers have cooled down. Just to be clear, I don know this guy. Maybe some disaster happened and he really is in need (though i doubt it based on the "I been traveling for 6 years" part of the sign). I against the idea of begpacking. There a big assumption that they would have low prices, but why would they? According to our economic system, they are absolutely supposed to charge 경주출장마사지 the absolute maximum they can possibly get away with and to utilize whichever kind of cost/benefit ration that is most profitable. Everyone using automated cars, means regulation on that software will be necessary, which means select few people (legislatures, which I pretty sure most people would agree do not have their constituents best interests in mind when making all their decisions, especially considering the auto lobby that exists in the USA) deciding which companies product is acceptable on the roads and which do not. This could very easily reduce "competition," driving prices up to whatever is the most profitable level for the favored company(s).

honestly.. thank you so much for the reply you gave to the anon who mentioned Lisa might be trans. I could totally relate. I am a biological woman who developed male secondary sex characteristics while growing up (tall, big hands and feet, flat chest, narrow hips, male patterned body/face hair etc, the whole lot lol) because of hormonal imbalance. I present femininely and as an adult people don't give me shit now most of the time (although it has happened of course) but as a kid I would be made fun of for "looking like a male" and it hurt like hell. when I see people speculating a woman might be trans because she has "broad shoulders" or something like that it makes me feel so self conscious (more than usual, I mean) and makes me wonder if people look at me and think I am trans. like I don't think this comes from a bad place most of the time at this point but like you said it does hurt sometimes because for me it's something I can't help, it's just how my body looks. and it reminds of the times I've been bullied and insulted because of it. so yeah it makes me feel weird when I see this type of speculations. also I felt exactly the same about Nikki tutorials. even though I didn't like her makeup style (way too drag-esque for me) I used to follow her because she was funny and it was nice to see such a successful woman that was also big and tall and thus relatable for me. but after she came out I just felt really strange about it and I ended up unfollowing her. made me feel bad tbh but I couldn't help it. (btw by the way you describe yourself you sound hot ashdjfk drop some pics bestie! j/k of course :D)

EXACTLY. THANK YOU FOR SHARING!

Also the trans lisa anon had a point and I still agree with her 200% but its more so cause I feel like I can look in Lisa's face pre debut and now see something that gives that impression.

I do believe deep down there are some trans idols and stars who are keeping it secret. So I hope we keep this on the table and not write it off as well.

Everything you have shared is exactly how I felt growing up. I actually did flat out get called a guy once in highschool when I was going through a horrible deep depression and grief over my father death. I never took care of my apperance, my mom dressed in shit clothing, I couldn't afford stuff to make me look feminine, I had no m7oney, acne the house, didn't know how to wear make up and lived in an area that only sold make up for darker people. I was about to walk into the cafeteria one day when a popular girl pointed directly at me and told her friend I'm a cute guy and I could tell she was about to come and ask me out. It scared the fuck out of me and made me realize I never got respected or looked at by guys I wanted nor did I even get treated like an equal because of how I looked and my whole growth spurt made it worse. And when I did attract guys it was creeps, uglies, weirdos and the guys I would never want to talk to who were trying to prey on the "ugly" girl. Being mixed in an all black low income school where reverse racism (ITS REAL DONT TELL ME IT ISNT BLACK PEOPLE CAN BE HATEFUL TO OTHER RACES TOO!) towards light skin & white passing Biracials existed (was constantly brutally bullied by all the darker skin black kids for being "white" cause back in the day being biracial, white passing, having light skin or light eyes made you an outcast and the kids projected hate for white people or hate their family taught them onto us at the school I went to. I know people don't want to hear this but this is my truth aand this is what I experienced. I cant even share all the horror stories tbh)

It scared me, it made me feel ugly, humiliated, alone, lost in my own identity and like you it did made me feel like everyone thought I was trans or a boy and remember in the 2000s - early 2010s internet and social media wasn't a big thing and cell phone usage was pretty new as a rising thing so times were different back then.

It wasn't until I became friends with outsiders and generally just viewed as okay by everyone then giving myself a makw ovrt towards the end of highschool did people start treating me differently. Same as at my old job. I could only afford to choose to focus on gloing my face up or hair so I always chose face. My Uniform at work didn't do me justice so people assumed I was just decent pretty but an uggo outside of work. I didnt get treated the same as this Nikki Bella looking girl and another Spanish girl who were deemed the pretty feminine girls. It took a massive blow to my self esteem since the job I came from in sales beforehand I was the pretty girl and I got to wear whatever I wanted to work so I was like in a zone where I didn't have these issues for a good period. (Plus I notice I'll develop a crush on a guy and he always has contact with me when I look my worse at these jobs but as soon as I get fabulous or look my best he is fired or gone lmfao.)

Long story short one day I came into work dressed up on my off day and fresh from the hair salon with make up and all cause this was how I dressed outside of work and everyone was floored. They treated me like I was a hot Instagram girl like a huge deal and while it was great for the whole company to turn their heads and shower me with compliments I never felt more humiliated at the same time cause it made me realized "well fuck if I'm being treated this well then did you all Think I was completely ugly before?" It was just a strange experience. Plus I got sexually harassed by someone at work and he wouldn't allow me to go home until I gave my number then I got warned by everyone at work not to do it with him cause he would record the girls he hooked up with there (sex) and they didn't want me to end up fired or hurt.

LOL SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY.

But yes I am very very tall and I never been stick thin in my teen years cause I lived ina. Home where even if it wasn't good food 24/7 I always had a full meal and then some. I wear a size 10 / 10.5 shoe so my feet are big. My hands are bigger than petite girls and I have a big forehead but that has nothing to do with height but my hairline is like around the perimeter instead of growing forward from the top like most people. It's like Rihanna's but its not going forwars? LMFAO

I'll post my photo one day. I always keep a certain photo I show everyone but I gained so much weight in the past 3-4 yeats especially last year but yeah.

I feel your pain sweetie. People really overlook us and don't understand how Tall girls, plus size girls and heavier girls get lost in the shuffle. I also fear I'll get shamed ans get called this phobic or that phobic or anti LGBTQ when that is never the case it's just I want to be me and don't want to be put in a box by society just like they don't want to.

And omg yes I felt the same way about Nikkitutorials. I really loved her and felt I had someone I could relate to like representation although I am not big or plus sized, she looked different and I think she has a condition than makes her head look very large? IDK but yes her make up is very drag but I loved her full cover looks and her rare videos where she would try challenges and do minimal sometimes.

I am happy for her but I felt strange about it too. It all added up and made sense cause tbh she never really shared or talked about legitimate female (or female to male) issues like periods aka menstrual cycles, mood swings, developing, feminine body issuss or just certain things a majority of cis girls would automatically bring up or share. It felt like a reserved girl talk where she wanted to keep a very fem yet general appeal and I thought she was doing it just to accommodate the gays who watch.

This is why although people shit on Jeffree star (he is toxic trash tbh) I like watching him strictly cause he is what you see is what you get and we know he is messy. He doesn't lie about critical things and pass himself as something he isn't. He does a lot and needs to stop feeding mess but I know he is a gender fluid male who is she / them but keeps it kinda open and I did buy some of hos products long ago before I knew about his history and objectively he makes quality make up and I always got compliments from Men and women when I wore his lipstick or eyeshadows although the bold colors aren't really for me. I use the most normal shades in the blood sugar for other things*.

I would have been so okay if she revealed it long ago herself and ask for support. But it felt she only revealed to save her ass and not get exposed. Like getting ahead of it. People hate Jeffree but I can objectively judge him and see if he was in her position if he could pass for a woman he would tell us he was born a man and not hide it.

But yeah. It's demoralizing and hurtful to be called a man constantly when you are a general cis woman and just want to be all things that make you that. This again no way means its negative or a bad thing. I wouldn't call my trans / binary bestie him all the time cause I seen her journey and struggles plus I watched people at our old job be transphobic as fuck and outwardly disrespect her calling her by her male birth name or him / he when she clearly presented herself as "she" but just with very street / edgy clothing.

A mess girl. A whole mess.

* opens fan dramatically like Rich Lux*

Too many people trying to clock it girllll lmfao.

I need to log off.

Anyways I no longer have this issue at least not as often only once in a while. On tinder I've collectively had 11,000 likes / matches as a whole (I always stay with an average 3-4 thousand guys to chose from when I'm on Tinder gold). But the thing is I forgot to mention my height so That might be why my number is so big but I only show pics of my face minus one semi full length photo (I don't have full length photos of myself in general like "normal" people cause Im too fucking tall to take them and I don't ask people to take my pic for me lol)

And in person I am treated okay now.

My height prevents me from getting hit on though and I hate it. I can never personally sympathize or relate to women who complain about cat calling cause I only ever got cat called by losers who tried to pick up scraps the hot guys didn't want although I've had successful men in passing give me compliments and be extra nice to me cause I'm pretty. All in all, Unless I'm dresses reallt sexy or super done up and feminine or in a nice dress Nobody approaches me. It makes me feel funny but it is what it is. I'm ambivert now but truly introverted in the sense that I love being alone and am used to my own company so Its better this way as I'm always just focused on myself anyways.

But if I were to go a bar or something looking hot I wouldn't have that mis gender problem. But it's sad we have to be in certain situations for that to happen. Also for Halloween this is why I'm trying hard to find a feminine or sexy or cute costume and nothing too in between cause I don't want to be mistaken as something else.

My Halloween in 2019 before the pandemic was amazing and i didn't have the issue so I pray this Halloween Will be the same.