my father was sitting beside me while we were watching something on the tv together and homie turned to me, squinted and went, "You have a grey hair on your head. you're stressed also? you don't just stress out others?"

like exCUSE ME I DON'T SHOW HOW STRESSED I GET DOESN'T MEAN I AM NOT-

also screw Tumblr and this new update me no like.

Watch this my moots. This is a song from the Indian movie "Yes Boss". All of our movies contain songs like Hollywood musicals. The actor is Shah Rukh Khan and actress is Juhi Chawla 💕

I decided to upload a song from my country every week so that everyone will get a better idea of what we are like, ou culture and so many other things. I'd like to name these posts Desi (Indian) radio 😆🇮🇳 If you're a Desi, please free to send recommendations and I'll upload the song 💕

However, I kind of feel lonely here so if this flops I'll no longer be posting

Harshi Di!!!!!! do you know how much I missed you?! My dash was really sad when it didn't have your posts :( and do you know it's so fucking good to see you back again?

I don't know what was the reason that you deactivated, but if you feel like sharing, I'm here to listen to you rant and comfort you okay? I love so much Harshi Di, you're so amazing and I'm so proud of you! 🥺🫂🤍✨

I am so sorry juhi. I left without letting you know. I was just really stressed at that time and impulsively took the decision. I saw your post you are so sweet and I love you so much 💗💗💗 Thank you for all the kind words. I missed you tooo.

Sanjeevani 2 is ending in March. Ishqbaaz fan girls can cry that they can't see their favs on screen anymore. Grateful for toxic people to be out of business for a while. What is your take on the 2010 onwards fan girling? I have been on the hindi soap scene since 2000 and feel there's been a drastic shift.

Thank the heavens for small miracles. As far as I’m concerned, the show ended when Sid proposed to Ishani. Abhi jo bhi hota hai, idgaf. Let her stay with the husband, let her go with the fuckboy, let her leave them both and go join Juhi in some far flung medical camp in the hills.... Either way who the fuck caresssssss. I just want to see Kunal Bhan get a new show worthy of his talents. He’s lead material, moreso than Namit and deserves to play more than these bit parts.

Fandom culture since the advent of social media is a mess. Before the filth used to just be a buncha anons ranting on some forum somewhere, but the moment social media became a thing, and literally anyone started getting access to the people making the show............  The online janta somehow feel entitled to the attention of these stars now, and they too pander to the audience for personal gain and ughhhhhhhhhhhhh, all of it is a bloody dumpster fire that I despise and stay the fuck away from.

i have such good people in my life.

i'm just sitting here, and realizing how loving everyone i know is. my heart beats for all of my friends and mutuals. i haven't had the best days and i just,,, i don't understand how i got so lucky. everyone always does their best to cheer me up in the best ways possible, and i'll never understand how i'm just so damn lucky to have these kinds of people in my life??? i'm overly affectionate, and i think that sometimes that scares people away. also the fact that i'm a bit of a crackhead. but you guys just stick by my side, no matter how crazy i get sometimes. i'm so freaking grateful, and i'm so lucky to be where i am today. i'm so lucky to have you all in my life. i love everyone, so much. my heart beats a million times a minute for you. i'll always be here if you need anything. i promise i promise i promise.

@angeltual maddie, my heart is so soft for you. you're such a genuine person, and i will never understand how i got so lucky to be your friend. you make me smile when i just simply see you on my dash. please know you are loved times a million, and i love you times a million. you're so kind to me, and i will never understand how i got SO darn lucky. thank you for being such a good friend to me. i can never thank you enough, angel. you truly are an angel. i love love love you, maddie.

@gukkscafe you have made me smile so many times to the point where i can't count, shay. i am so grateful that you've been there for me through all of my hard times. you're so loving, and i am so lucky to have you by my side through everything, even though i'm a pain in the ass sometimes for not responding on time. you still tell me you love me and appreciate me. you hype me up when i'm not in the best moods. you listen to my horrible ranting. you comfort me when you can. you're there for me, and i will forever be grateful for you, shay. i love you, with all my heart, you beautiful human. i am so damn lucky to have you as my best friend. yes, my best friend, you dork.

@goner-jimin rayne, you're the softest human i have come to know. we've been through a lot together, and we've been friends for a year now. you're my longest internet friend, and i hope one day we come to meet each other. so i can hug you and squeeze you. you're so kind, and i love how you're always there for me. you listen, and although you never really know what to say half the time, i appreciate you being there for me and doing your best to cheer me up. it really is truly appreciated. you're truly appreciated. i promise to always be here for you whenever you need me, just like you've been for me. you're loved, i love you so much.

@hobioh / @silksmoothie JUHI!!! you are the sweetest human to exist, and i want you to know that i love love love you. we don't talk as much as we used to, but i want you to know that i'm always here for you if you ever need anything. you are so incredibly funny and you deserve ALL of hobi's kisses hehe i hope one day you marry that man 😔✊

@hobichus OMGGG parker!!! you are so so so freaking soft n sweet! i know we don't talk much but you are still so sweet and adorable. you make my heart clench with softness :(. you're just so adorable, parker :( like,,, my heart is ZOOMING just writing this. i love you, and i hope we talk more :(

@junguwuz eve!!! omg!!! i love you so so so much :( you are so kind to me, and i love talking to you. i message your inbox from time to time, and it's just always a good time when we talk. you're so so soooo nice and literally just a cute lil fluffball,, jungwoo would LOVEEE you!! hehe he would find you just as cute as i do 💗💗💗

@jenology cy :( omg i love you with all my heart. i know you probably won't see this, but i love you. i really really really love you. we text on imessage now and i love talking with you. i am so so so happy to be your friend and to have found you one day out of the blue. i would love to talk more and more and get to know each other more and more. i am so grateful and lucky to have you in my life. although we suck at responding and have two different timezones, i still enjoy talking to you when we can talk. you are the sweetest, most lovable human i have come across. please let me know if you ever need anything, i'll always be here, bello angelo.

@jenos KRYS!!! oMG you are literally so charming and adorable and yet also freaking funny. like you don't even know states,,,, even though you live in CALIFORNIA. omg krys seriously HSBDHSBDB you crack me up everytime we talk, and i hope you're doing well over there on the west coast. you're such a lil dork and i love you, you dweeb. hehe seriously i love you and i'm always here for you if you need anything. 💗💗💗

@jeonssky sky you are literally such a fuckin dork. and we both really suck at responding to each others messages, bUT ITS MOSTLY YOU BC YOU ALWAYS SAY "oh shit i didnt know you messaged me" HSHDHSH omfg sky you are a mess and we've been trying to talk like normal human beings for the past like two months but we always fail like dysfunctional human beings. but i love you, and i appreciate you a lot. you are really close to my heart, and i just can't thank you enough for being so kind to me and chatting with me. i'm really comfortable with you, and it's weird bc im normally not this comfortable with people i've only talked to for a few weeks. anyways, i love you bitch, pls take good care of yourself.

@jaeminslovr ABBY!!! you are so so so sweet :(. i don't understand how i got sO lucky to have you in my life. you're a fellow gemini venus, and it just warms my cold soul, bc you're so loving and lovable and caring and soft. you knew who i was already and it was sO sWeEt. i hope we talk more so we can get to know each other better :( i love you i love you i love you 💗💗 please let me know if you ever need anything, sweet human.

@pentagonexobts omg :( omg i just love you so much. you're always there for me, and you always check up on me and you're SOOO SO caring. you message me everyday to check up on me and see how i'm doing. you read my lil rants and you just care so much. and i want you to know that i care so much abt you too. it's easy to tell you care abt me, and i appreciate that so much. i finally know your name now HSBDKSJDKS but in all seriousness, i love you. and i'm always here for you if you need anything, just as you have been for me. i appreciate you with all my heart, thank you for being such a good friend to me. truly.

@sopeduo MIA OMG!!! you are so so so cute and adorable. let me just GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY REALLY QUICK!!! i love you, so so so darn much. you're such a good friend, and you're so accepting. you're really funny and although everyone bullies you, i promise to not bully you 😔✊ i mean at least not too much LMAO but in all seriousness,,,,,, i love you. and i still listen to that playlist you made me. it still warms my heart to the core, and i still smile while listening to it. you're so kind, and i wouldn't trade you for anyone else in the world. you're my cute lil name twin :( and i love you to the cheeze and back 😔✊💝💗💓🧀

@seokheaven omg frick you are the love of my life. i love you so so so so so so so so darn much. you make me feel so happy and so loved, and i am so lucky to have you in my life. i will never stop loving you, i will never stop caring for you. you make everything so much easier, and i miss you all the time. i'm clingy and i love you so so so so much baby. you're so understanding, and so caring. you've accepted me through everything and been there through everything. i will continue to love and accept you just as much as you have me. i won't ever leave you, i love you. so so so freaking much. thank you for being the best person out there for me. i love you. just,, so freaking much. 💖💕💘💓💗💝💞💝💗💓💕💘💖 i love waking up to your messages and to all the hearts you send every morning. i truly am the luckiest human to exist.

thank you for sitting through my sappy paragraphs and reading them, if you read them. i love all of you with all my heart. and i want you all to know that i am incredibly lucky to have all of you in my life. if i forgot to add you, i am sO soRrY. i'll probably rb this and add you along to it if i forgot. i was just looking through it in alphabetic order, and you know how tumblr hates me with all its soul :(

but seriously, i love all of you. so damn much. so so so damn much. please know that i'm here for you, whenever you need me. thank you for being so amazing to me, and treating me well.

i am so lucky to have you.

  Has the study of literature made me lose the ability to enjoy an ordinary film? Has it? Has it?

I went to watch “The Hundred Foot Journey”. The film promised the agreeable mingling of food and diaspora. Purab laughed, “Are you watching the diaspakoda?”

I wanted the movie to move me. It had Om Puri. Helen Mirren. But, I returned so deeply disappointed.  For days, I mulled over what to write, what to not write, in the shower I constructed sentences: “I had hopes.” On my walk back from work I deconstructed them: “I had hopes.” I hemmed the subject. I produced analogies, “It was like a collapsed soufflé.” That did not work. “It was a thick mousse.” And, that too did not work. Then I gave up. I gave up on trying to come up with something stupendously smart. This is my last resort: Honesty.

I think that over the years of studying characters, scenes, speakers, stereo types, paradoxes, irony, sarcasm, wit, and other such devices, I have lost the ability to enjoy an ordinary film. This applies with the assumption that ordinary film can offer some form of enjoyment, which I did not experience.

This is an ordinary film that I did not like.

The Kadam family owns restaurants in India. With escalating communal tensions they find themselves caught in a frightening evening of riots that leads to the death of Mama Kadam (Juhi Chawla). Little Hassan’s (Rohan Chand) love and aptitude for food lies deeply entrenched in his love for his mother. Uprooted, dislocated and depressed as refugees in UK they find it difficult – weather wise, the open grills are shown to be a disaster.

Eventually seeking a better fate they relocate to a small village in France with Papa Kadam (Om Puri) dictating every move and open an Indian restaurant called Maison Mumbai. Helping them along the way is Marguerite (Charlotte Le Bon) – a sweet French girl who offers them food, hospitality, openness, warmth – she is maternal and safe – an indulgence the Kadams miss. Clearly, French girls ride cycles with baguettes in their baskets, and are hopeless romantics with Juliette-esque balconies, picnic spreads and …other such contrived contraptions – a rant I shall not embark on today.

The hundred-foot journey in the title is the distance between Maison Mumbai and the French restaurant opposite them the Michelin-starred Le Saule Pleureur where Marguerite is a sous chef. And, in a Cruella de Ville avatar we have Helen Mirren as Madame Mallory the owner of the French restaurant. She and Om Puri share a special chemistry. As much as I enjoyed watching these two amazing actors what kept being a constant niggle was the gender bits (I will come to that eventually). So while Papa Kadam enjoys his kitschy glittery over-the-top flavors, Madam Mallory basks in subtle nuances, discreet manners, and a disdain for the grotesquely garish neighbors. It is also a clash of class. Somehow, being across the road, in a manner of speaking highlights differences, let me here assert that this isn’t India and France. Though the movie seems to allude to that, not all of India is the Kadams and not all of France is like the Mallorys. However, the gravel road between is rather accurate and poetic. As people come and go, visitors, evening walkers and vehicles the serpentine path becomes a living thriving being.

Some sub-plots are cute – the Mayor’s getting caught in the middle, the shopping strategies, the removal of wall scars (paint). Mirren’s comic timing is impeccable. But, the movie fails. The beautiful panoramic shots of France, the haunting sounds of the kitchen do not manage to grab. What bothers me the most is the gender depiction. It is the men who cross-over. Hassan (Manish Dayal) now all grown up gets involved with Marguerite. He moves to the next door kitchen. He masters both crafts – Eastern and Western cuisine. He is the hero — the guy who understands what it is like to come from a culture and integrate into another, without losing himself and displaying an appreciation for both. It is Hassan. Not Mahira (Farzana Dua Elahe) (the daughter, Hassan’s sister). What would have happened if Mahira was the one crossing over? Would Papa Kadam be as generous? Would he have given his blessings if Mahira was the one having an affair with the French chef? What if it was Papa Kadam who had died and not Mama Kadam? And, what about Madam Mallory – the restaurant becomes her life after her husband’s death – the narrative demands our sympathy for her hard-heart – she has lost her husband.

What I write is not the story. It is my reading of what I watched. And, I admit critical thinking has become a deep seated boil in the middle of my forehead. I love movies with food in them: “Ratatouille”, “Julie & Julia”, “No Reservations”, I even enjoyed “Chef”, which most my friends debunked. But, this one, I will have to pass. Because it’s problematic. Hassan’s success has baggage, Marguerite’s acceptance of him has issues, and I can’t look past the gender trouble (thank you Judith Butler) within the script.

I watched “Happy New Year” last week and enjoyed it — the song, dance, humor and massive scale were impressive. I accepted the genre with all its follies, some of which I have come to expect and enjoy. What troubles me is that while I could accept that a bunch of nit-wits from nowhere could win the world dance finale in Dubai in “Happy New Year” I could not digest that a bunch of Indians chefs could land up in the middle of France, start a kitschy Indian kitchen in front of a renowned French restaurant and make a success out of that story in “The Hundred Foot Journey”. My only explanation I can offer as of now (I am still dissecting this within my limited head space leisure time) – is that while “Happy New Year” only pressed my gender switch in one scene in the song “Manwa Laage” where Deepika is shown serving tea to the men who chat, “The Hundred Foot Journey” riled up the entire dashboard.

The question I want answered is – what happens to Mahira? Till then it remains a kebab that went too dry. Dammit still does not work!!!

When I went to watch "The Hundred Foot Journey" Has the study of literature made me lose the ability to enjoy an ordinary film? Has it?