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ohmystars-marvel · 3 years

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So...you’re mine, huh? pt. 2

Pairing: Tony Stark x daughter!reader; Peter Parker x reader (eventually)

Word count: 1,798

Summary: When your mother passes, she wrote in her will if she passed when you were still a minor, guardianship would get passed to Tony Stark. You have no idea what their relationship was, despite both of them living their lives in the spotlight. However, for someone who lived in the spotlight, your mother held plenty of secrets.

A/N: So um.....surprise!!! It’s finally here!!!!! I’m sososoSO sorry ;_; life’s been kind of rough and since I’ve been in uni it’s been hard to actually get time for myself, but I’ve finally actually gotten the time to sit down and write it out. I’m sorry it’s not that long, but I promise I won’t ghost like that again, but without further ado, here’s chapter 2!

(Also credits to owner of gif)

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The funeral felt like everything was moving in slow motion. A couple of people came up to talk about (Y/M/N), and Tony noticed how whenever the people at the podium would give you a pitying glance in between their eulogies. The older man that was seating with you earlier isn’t sitting up front with you. He sits in a row behind you, leaving you all by yourself in the front. Tony also noticed how stoic you appeared to look. You sat with your head tall, your hair styled out of your face, tightly and professionally, evenly squared shoulders; the perfect sitting posture.

A couple of people near him whispered about you. Some admired how composed you looked, just like your mother. Some whispered that you looked like you didn’t care that your mother passed, you just cared for the money that you were inheriting. Selfish brat someone whispered around Tony.

She inherits all that her mother worked for without having to put any work ethic in

She isn’t going up to talk at her mother’s funeral?

She does take after her mother after all..couldn’t give a care less that her parents died, why wouldn’t her daughter act the same way now?

In Tony’s opinion, you didn’t look composed and neither looked like you didn’t care. You looked like a kid who was trying to hold it together in a room full of adults in order to be perceived as an adult. A child trying to act far more mature than their actual age.

When the funeral was over, people started getting up to either talk to you, or to talk to others around them. Disgusted with how people talked about you while a funeral was taking place, Tony walked over to talk to you instead. Besides, he felt that he needed to get to the bottom of how the hell (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N) had a kid he knew nothing about. He also wanted to figure out whose kid you were. No kid should have to get through their only parent’s funeral alone.

When Tony walked over, you were finishing a conversation with one of the guests. Tony stuck his hand, reaching for a handshake. You accepted his handshake, and surprised him when it was a solid, firm one. Guess (Y/M/N) did teach you well.

“Ms. (Y/L/N). We haven’t had the chance to meet, and I wish it was under better circumstances. I’ve known your mother since we were children, and I know what a devastating loss it is now that she’s gone. I know you’re hearing this phrase more often than you’d like to right now, but please know when I say that if you ever need help, please do come to me. Stark Tower or Avengers Headquarters, you'll be accepted anywhere there.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark. That’s very kind of you. I as well wish that we could’ve met under better circumstances. You’re kind of my hero, honestly. The advancements you’ve made with arc reactor technology is amazing.” (Y/N) admitted shyly, while sporting a small smile.

Tony analyzed your face. Jesus, it was like Tony was thrown back in time. I looked so much like your mother when she was much younger. That’s where the similarities stopped though. Your shy demeanor and politeness were honest reactions, no acting involved. Your eyes were also different from (Y/M/N)’s. (Y/M/N) looked at everyone like a certain degree of coldness, keeping people at a distance. Yours were gentle, inviting. There’s no way this kid can be hers. She’s nothing like her.

“Mr. Stark,” you interrupted his thoughts, “I’m only telling a select group of people who actually knew my mother well. We told the public the coroners haven’t signed off yet. That, however, isn’t true, and we'll be doing a more private service. I want to give enough time for the press to leave, and for people who my mother claimed that ‘actually cared for her money, not her well-being to leave’. I’d like it if you were to join us.”

“Please, call me Tony. I’ll be there, Ms. (Y/L/N), don’t worry. Gives us all the chance to actually give your mother the goodbye that she deserves, don’t you think?”

You blinked at him, an expression of shock that briefly broke your composure. “Of course, Mr-” she caught herself when Tony smirked at her, and she smiled sheepishly. “sorry. Tony. It’s going to take me awhile. There’ll be an announcement that’ll be given for the burial service so please, stick around and chat. Please excuse me, I’ve got to greet the others who came as well. It was a real pleasure to meet you, Tony.” She bid him a small smile and left him standing by himself.

When you left him, Tony went to grab himself a cup of water. While sipping on his water, the older man that sat next to you before the funeral approached Tony.

“Mr. Stark, it’s a great pleasure to meet you. Though, I wish I would be meeting you right now at something like the Stark Expo.”

Tony didn’t respond, but took another sip to avoid the small talk that the man was trying to achieve. The man cleared his throat.

“Right then. Mr. Stark, I’m Philip Ashcraft, (Y/M/N)’s lawyer. Could we step out in the hallway and talk? (Y/M/N) left something important to you, and the both of us would very much rather have this conversation where someone can’t overhear.”

“You find a hallway during a private funeral? Let me guess, you wanna suggest the coat closet next? I mean I guess we can meet in there, but you have to promise no playing seven minutes of heaven-”

“Mr. Stark, please. It’s of the utmost importance.”

“Why don’t you take this up with my secretary, Mr. Ashcraft? They can schedule a meeting with you within this next week. After all, I am not in the mood to discuss business right now, considering that we’re currently at a funeral.” Tony took a sip of his water, raising an eyebrow at the lawyer.

“This isn’t something that can be pushed away! Mr. Stark, this is in regards to what (Y/M/N) has left for you, and her will states for you to receive her last wishes as soon as the funeral’s over.”

Tony sighed. “In case you haven’t noticed, (Y/M/N)’s funeral is not over. If whatever (Y/M/N) left for me is that important, then you can wait until after the burial service is over. That’s when the funeral is over and that’s when you will have my attention. Until then, kindly fuck off.”

The lawyer swallowed, clearly trying to keep his temper, and walked away, begrudgingly. Victorious, Tony walked away from the water pitcher and found himself an empty corner that no one else would bother him. Besides, he had some homework to start before (Y/M/N)’s burial service started. If he didn’t know anything about (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s existence, then how much did the rest of the world know about you?

Tony pulled his phone out of pocket, and pulled it close to his face, pretending like he was taking a phone call. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. I need you to do something for me really quick.”

“What do you need, boss?”

“Look for anything in regards to (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I don’t care if it’s newspaper clippings, science fair photos, or even a mugshot. Anything that just proves her existence.”

“Looking online now. I’ll check back in with you when my analysis online is complete.”

“Thanks, F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Tony mumbled to himself. He put his phone back in his pocket and decided to wait out the thirty minutes by himself.

******

Tony watched as time passed and those that were clearly not invited or were exhausted from trying to butt into (Y/N)’s business left the room. Tony saw that besides himself, you, that asswipe of a lawyer, and approximately two other people were invited to the service. He noticed that the one who told him who you were wasn’t included in the group. For some reason, that didn’t sit well with him.

The burial service went by just as smoothly as the service given inside. Tony noticed that when you placed flowers on the headstone, your eyes were glassy. So this was the group you allowed yourself to be vulnerable with, not terribly vulnerable, but enough to know that this clearly affected you. When the service finished, the two others were conversing with you, one holding one of your hands as you wiped your eyes delicately, clearly still trying not to cry. That’s the time that the lawyer decided to act. He put a hand on your shoulder, and whispered something in your ear. You nodded and went back to listening. The lawyer made his way to Tony, and opened his mouth to speak, but Tony beat him to the punch.

“Alright, bug-a-boo, now we can talk.”

“Do you mind if we talk inside, Mr. Stark? I am required to have your signature.”

Tony sighed and made an after you gesture with his hand. “Christ, what is it that (Y/M/N) left behind that is so goddamn important that you have to dump on me at a funeral and require me to sign?”

Ashcraft clenched his jaw, and opened the door to the funeral home and stalked into the room where the public service was held, Tony close behind. Ashcraft unlocked his briefcase, which held an envelope that was thick with papers. He pushed it into Tony’s hand with plenty of force.

“The thing that (Y/M/N) is ‘dumping’ on you is her child. She left guardianship claims on (Y/N) to you, Mr. Stark” Ashcraft said bitterly.

Tony hurried to open the envelope. There’s no way. There’s no fucking way you actually left your kid to him. It’s gotta be some kind of a joke. At least, that was what Tony tried to convince himself before he found a handwritten will that was in your handwriting. The last sentence is what made his heart drop in his chest.

In the case of my passing before (Y/N) can legally care for herself, I leave guardianship rights to Anthony Edward Stark.

Tony’s phone buzzed in his pocket. F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s search had been completed, and only included one document. Tapping on the document, it opened into a scan of your birth certificate. What drew Tony’s attention was the name that was entered for the father’s name. Tony softly scoffed to himself.

“So...you’re mine huh?”

#avengers fanfiction #avengers x reader #tony stark #tony stark x daughter #tony stark x reader #Tony Stark fanfiction #peter parker x stark!daughter #peter parker x reader #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker

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wall-maria-fritz · 3 years

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Calm the Fuck Down, Itadori

Yuuji Itadori x Jennifer Lawrence

Summary: Where Yuuji manages to drag Megumi and Nobara to a Tokyo Comic Con.

A/N: I took this way too seriously, jeezus.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori”

Megumi wanted to shoot himself in the foot.

He absolutely loathed conventions.

Especially when you got a bunch of idiots with a complete disregard for deodorant and personal space simping around in costumes as if they aren’t fully grown men.

Idiots like Itadori, who was currently wasting his life savings on X-Men stickers.

“Yeah,” Nobara piped in, already side-eyeing a man in a green cape with white and blue wings, and funny looking swords that look like box cutters—he was asking her if he could take a picture with her Petra Ral look.

Who the fuck is Petra Ral anyway? Nobara is SURE she looks way cuter though.

“How are you still so gaga over X-Men anyway?” she continues, with a flip of her ginger hair. “You’re literally a sorcerer, Yuuji. You fight curses in real life.”

Almost like whiplash, Yuuji turns on Nobara with an intensity she’s only seen in battle.

“Never. Disrespect X-Men.”

Yuuji was wide eyed; one hand pointing at Nobara, another clutching a handful of stickers and keychains (when did he buy those?) with a very blue woman on them.

Is she… naked? Nobara wonders, but is immediately interrupted by Yuuji’s incoming sermon.

“X-Men is a poignant commentary on society, Kugisaki. It is a masterpiece that only people with taste can appreciate, with characters so well written—“

But Yuuji’s fanboying gospel was cut short when a smattering of whoops and applause erupted from onstage, as a man dressed as… Thanos in a thong—Thongos, he called himself. Ok.—officially started the day’s most awaited event, and that was to meet X-Men’s Hollywood actors, in the flesh!

It was then that Megumi verbalized what everyone was thinking at this point.

“I didn’t know Itadori knew what ‘poignant’ meant”

Yuuji Itadori raced towards the front of the crowd like it was an orgasm out of reach, tightly clutching onto the barricade (also like he was clutching his [redacted]).

He didn’t know when and how his friends managed to catch up to him, but when X-Men’s glittering line up of beautiful people came out on stage, both Nobara and Megumi looked to each other in complete understanding beside him-- of course Itadori was here to simp for Jennifer Lawrence.

And of course he’d spend every yen to his name just to catch a glimpse of this woman in nothing but a skin-tight blue spandex that left no curve nor valley to the imagination.

“I LOVE YOU JENNIFER LAWRENCE”

Yuuji proceeded to fucking shriek in broken English.

“I EAT AMERICAN FOOD FOR YOU”

Megumi and Nobara both took a step from Yuuji.

‘Nope! The weird guy? They don’t know him.’

To their horror, they watch a grinning mouth appear at Yuuji’s cheek, already salivating.

“Gotta give it to ya, punk. That IS one fine ass,”

Sukuna’s mouth let its long tongue lick around his lips.

“I hope you got us some backstage passes, kid”

Megumi and Nobara shivered.

But clearly, Itadori and Sukuna weren’t the only ones going absolutely bananas for the X-Men, it might have very well been the entire building cheering for the cast.

It was until a bald guy in a wheelchair signaled for the audience to quiet down, did the sea of sweaty geeks calm down.

After a few introductions, and further hyping, the mic was finally passed to Jennifer Lawrence, whose character was apparently named Mystique.

Like a child showing off to his parents, Yuuji looks at Megumi and Nobara, pointing at Jennifer Lawrence as if saying, “Look! It’s her! That’s her! It’s actually her!”

Yuuji then proceeds to kiss three fingers raised up like he was doing a Boy Scout’s pledge, and raised those three fingers in there air, whistling three drawn out notes.

The idiot was giving her the Hunger Games salute, Jesus fucking Christ.

“Ehehe. Yeah, show her which fingers you’re gonna fuck her with,” Sukuna chuckles.

Which Yuuji responds to by forcibly jockeying Sukuna’s mouth off his cheek, shutting the curse up;

Yuuji Itadori drinks enough Respect Women Juice to give the Sahara a year of rain, alright.

Soon, everyone was giving Jennifer the salute.

Jennifer waves away the salutes, and stage-whispers into the mic with that raspy and sexy, according to Yuuji, voice of hers, and says, “Psst! Wrong fandom guys!”

The crowd laughs, as Jennifer awkwardly prattles about how she’s contract-bound to only talk about X-Men today, and that she really needs her job, ok?

And to be honest? Megumi and Nobara are starting to like her! I mean, who wouldn’t? Jennifer’s such a sweet, and down-to-earth girl. They’re glad that if there was anyone Yuuji was going to simp for, it’s Jennifer Lawrence.

“It’s such an honor to meet you, Tokyo!” Jennifer greets charmingly. “I was so excited to meet you guys, I didn’t even need to take a shot before I got here!” Jennifer shrugs with an exaggerated look on her face.

The crowd ate it all up.

“In fact, I was SO excited that I pumped myself up with enough anime references to say,” and in that magical moment, Jennifer Lawrence send finger guns down Yuuji’s way and winks--

“That’s one HECK of a JJK cosplay, man!”

And oh my Lord, it was like Yuuji died and went to heaven.

Even Sukuna was speechless.

But if Yuuji had to guess, Sukuna might have even been proud of him if only wasn’t you know, a jackass.

Megumi and Nobara couldn’t really remember what happened for the rest of the segment, because they might as well have leashed Yuuji with the way he was going crazy for Jennifer, hollering to her that he got her lasagna and Cheetos in his backpack in more broken English.

In the end, the two are left to rein Yuuji in as he eagerly waits for Jennifer out the backstage entrance, fully armed with an X-Men comic book and that lasagna he promised.

Yuuji was practically vibrating in excitement.

“Yuuji, it’s been two hours. Let’s go back to campus,” Nobara groaned, moaning to Megumi how Gojo better pay for their babysitting hours.

“She's almost out, you guys--!” Yuuji cries back, as the stage doors finally open to reveal Jennifer Lawrence in a much more sensible outfit of dress pants and a smart, low-neckline blouse.

“Eyes up, Itadori,” Megumi mumbles at Yuuji, who was already getting slack jawed at the sight of Jennifer’s cleavage.

Yuuji swallows the massive lump in his throat, and snaps his eyes back up to Jennifer’s hooded ones.

“Oh hey! You’re that JJK guy!” Jennifer greets good-naturedly. She was smiling radiantly at Yuuji and his friends, first shaking Nobara and Megumi’s hands as she laughed, “Damn, you even dressed up as the main character’s friends! You’re all like Hermione, Ron, and Harry Potter except… well, your characters won’t actually die, eep”

“Do we tell her?” Nobara nudges Megumi.

“Don’t you dare.” Megumi hisses back.

The dark-haired sorcerer then turns to Jennifer with a polite smile, and says in perfect English,

“Ooh, we’ll try not to spoil it for you, Jennifer.”

Nobara snaps her head to Megumi.

“Since when did you speak White???”

“Shut the fuck up, Nobara,” Megumi grits out.

Jennifer winked at Megumi, giving him an ‘I-get-you’ look and finally turned to sign Yuuji's comic book, only for him to freeze.

They both blinked at each other for a moment. One almost as awkward as the other.

Jennifer Lawrence though, god bless her, took this all in stride.

“No worries, dude, I freeze up, too,” she says while pretending to freeze up in jest. “Do you want me to sign your comic book?”

And if Yuuji wasn’t absolutely head over heels in love with Jennifer before, he certainly was now.

“I-- I…” Yuuji stammered.

Megumi and Nobara looked worriedly to their friend, there was no way in hell they were gonna let Yuuji fuck up now. Not after a whole afternoon of body odor and overpriced tentacle art, no way.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori and give her the comic,” Megumi whispers to Yuuji.

And in a snap, Yuuji Itadori was bowing as low as possible, arms out with his offerings, exclaiming to the highest simping power-- “I BROUGHT YOU YOUR FAVORITE JENNIFER!”

Jennifer’s face lit up at the sight of the lasagna, “Oh wow! You got me food! Thanks for remembering!”

She takes the lasagna gratefully, and quickly signs the comic, “What’s your name?”

“Errr… Y-Yuuji.”

Jennifer returns the comic book to Yuuji, now signed--

‘Thank You for the Lasagna, Yuuji! You know me soooo well!

Stay Sweet <3

-J Law.’

And as if each and every one of Yuuji’s dreams came true, Jennifer leaned forward and gave Yuuji a quick peck on the cheek.

Yuuji couldn’t even react, because in a whirlwind, Nobara was taking a picture of Yuuji and Jennifer, a coral kiss mark on Yuuji’s wide-eyed face.

“Calm the fuck down, Itadori,” Megumi groaned for probably the hundredth time now.

But Yuuji didn’t care.

Jennifer Lawrence just kissed him.

He’s pretty sure he can be a little manic with disbelief.

“Yuuji, I swear to god, if you don’t stop, I’m deleting the photo from my phone.”

Nobara was done.

“NO--”

In the end, Yuuji may not have anything to eat for the next two weeks, but it was totally worth it.

He managed to convince Megumi to lend him some money.

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luke-patterson-owns-my-soul · 3 years

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Hey Jealousy – Part One.

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Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Summary: The reader and Charlie grew up together, were the best of friends. It didn’t work well for her having boyfriends until she goes to college. Is her best friend jealous, or is everyone imagining things?

Requested: Yes / No

TW: Swearing, implies sexual intercourse, swearing, drinking Author’s notes: I had a weird dream (non-sexual) about an ex of mine and trying to make Charlie jealous (as you do), and this idea came from that. Whether it makes any sense at all remains to be seen.

Acknowledgements: The gorgeous @dream-a-little-bigger-x listened to me waffle on about this and read through most of it for me. Thank you my love.

Pairing: Fem Reader x Charlie Gillespie (eventually)

Words: 10,076

I have no idea when I’ll be posting Part Two as I am yet to write it... but I was way too impatient to sit on this.

Growing up being the best friend of Charles Gillespie was equal parts the best and worst thing. The best because he was genuinely the nicest guy, ever. He was outgoing, inclusive of everyone, and so much fun to be around. Charlie never sat still, didn’t do well with being bored, so it meant we made a lot of memories together along with our other friends.

The worst because for some reason, being best friends with a guy was off putting to other guys. Hanging out with Charlie ninety percent of the time seemed to prevent them approaching me. Even when I made it obvious I liked them, they seemed too scared to speak to you beyond a ‘hi’ or a ‘how you doin’?’. Charlie never seemed to notice how frustrated I was.

When Charlie moved to Toronto to follow his dreams of becoming an actor, it felt as if I’d lost a limb. I’d known him my entire life, had been friends for the whole time, had gone through all our firsts together, and with him not around, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

Admittedly, I was starting college just over the border in the US so there was that to keep me busy, but it wasn’t the same. Moving away from home, not having him with me, laughing at the other freshmen to help relieve my nerves. But I was alone and had no idea what I was doing.

Once I’d found my dorm room, I sat on the bed, surrounded by bags and boxes, and pulled my phone out of my bag. I needed my best friend right now, despite knowing he was probably out at auditions. I pull up my favorite contacts and tap on Charlie’s name, hoping he’ll be able to answer.

“Hey. I only have five minutes. How did the move go? Is your roommate cool? Any guys took your fancy? Have you had a chance to look around yet?” Eventually he stopped asking questions long enough to take a breath, letting me finally cut in to speak.

“Jesus Christ, Gillespie. I know you don’t have long, but do you really need to pepper me with so many questions? Don’t answer that otherwise I’ll never get to say anything.” I take a shaky breath and slowly start answering his questions. By the time I finish filling him on my day so far, he’s grinning at me.

“Sounds great, Trouble. I’m really pleased for you.” I rolled my eyes at his use of the nickname he gave me when we were seven and I punched a boy in the nose for tripping Charlie over and laughing at him cutting his chin on a small rock. “So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

“I have some orientation thing, then I don’t know. Maybe just chill in my room, get to know my roommate when they finally get here.”

“Hey, listen. I gotta go. But I’ll call you when I get back to the apartment so you can tell me more. Especially if your roommate’s pretty.”

“You’re such a fucking horndog, Gillespie. Love you.”

“Love you too, Trouble.”

My ‘don’t call me that’ died on my lips as the call ended and the photo of Charlie and me camping at the Bay of Fundy a couple years back that had been my wallpaper since his sister took it filled the screen. My happiness of speaking to him faded as I realized I was alone, again.

:: ::

I had been at college for three months, and I was almost at the end of my first semester. Charlie was busy with filming a show he’d booked. I knew nothing about 2nd generation, but he was so excited, I couldn’t help but be so happy for him. We spoke most days and texted so much that all my friends thought we were dating. No matter how much I told them we were only friends, no one ever believed me.

The wall above my desk was covered in photos of the two of us and our other friends, and your roommate, Lena, was obsessed with him.

“Honey, if you ain’t tapping that, if he ever comes to visit, I’m stepping up.” She’d told me the first time she looked at a photo of Charlie. Every time the two of us facetimed, and she was in the room with me, she would butt in and flirt outrageously with him. I would laugh at him flirting back, enjoying the fact my two closest friends, one old and one new, got along.

I’d found it easier to settle into college life than I expected without having him with me. Maybe, if I was honest, him not being around was possibly the reason I was finding it easier. As much as I loved him and having him around, having something that was just for me meant something special.

I’d just finished a class and was walking across the quad when my phone rang in my bag, Charlie’s ringtone blared out. He’d picked En Vogue’s Whatta Man when we were about thirteen because ‘Trouble, it just describes me perfectly’. I’d just never got around to changing it, and now it always made me smile whenever I heard it.

“Hey, Trouble.” A groan and an eyeroll. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I just finished my classes for the day. I’m going for coffee with Lena. How’s things over there?”

“Yeah, we’re going strong.” There was a lot of indistinct background noise I couldn’t identify behind him, and it was hard to hear him. He hadn’t facetimed, which was strange, but it was probably a flyby call while he was waiting for a scene to be set up, or whatever actors did. I had no clue despite him telling me multiple times.

“That’s great.” As I walked beside Lena who was making kissy faces at me as Charlie and I spoke, I couldn’t help but smile at hearing his voice. It wasn’t the same as having him with me in person, but it was the best we’d have until Christmas break.

“Look, give me five and call me back. I just gotta speak to someone real quick.” Before I could answer, he cut the call.

“Well, that was the quickest call I’ve ever seen you two have.” Lena commented, a small smile on her face.

“He wants me to call him back in five.” It was typical Charlie, start something, then expect me to finish it.

“I swear, you speak to him more than your family.” She wasn’t wrong.

“He’s kind of like my security blanket. He talks me off the edge whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed and stuff. He’s never judged me for the way I overthink, and he’s so easy to be with.”

“I swear, if I didn’t know better, I would think you’re in love with him.”

“I do love him. He’s like the brother I never wanted and often get frustrated with, but I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”

“Uh huh…” She didn’t need to elaborate. She’d been saying the same thing since our first day. She was insistent that there was more to mine and Charlie’s relationship than there was. I was used to her by now and was able to ignore it now. “You better phone him back.” She reminded me as we neared the campus coffee shop. With a smile, I hit call on his contact.

Behind me, the sound of P!nk’s Trouble, my ringtone on Charlie’s phone rang out. Confusion washed over me as Lena started laughing. I spun round to see Charlie leaning up against a tree, a wide smile on his face.

I cut the call and ran over to him, throwing myself at him. As always, he caught me, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me in tight against his body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I asked when he finally placed my feet back on the ground below me.

“I have the weekend off, so I drove down to see my best girl,” he looked at Lena with a smile, “and you, Trouble.” I punched him in the arm as he pulled my roommate into a hug.

“Remind me why I keep you around?” I asked him as the three of us entered the coffee shop.

“Because you adore this pretty face.” I rolled my eyes as we found a table after making our orders.

“You keep telling yourself that, Gillespie.”

:: ::

For the entire weekend, I showed Charlie around the campus and took him to parties. We got wasted, he enjoyed meeting my friends, but my favorite moment was on the Sunday when it was just the two of us, about a half hour outside of town, walking along a hidden trail.

“Trust you to find this place. I never even knew it was here.”

“You need to take more time for yourself, away from campus. Remember what it’s like to just be.”

“Do you get much of a chance to do that?” I asked as we walked, our arms brushing together the way they always did whenever we spent time together.

“Not as much as I like, but I try to get out at least once a week. It’s not the same though, not without you.” I looked up at him and saw a softness to his face not many people got to see.

“I’ve missed you, you big goof.”

“I’ve missed you too, Trouble.”

“You gotta stop calling me that.” I rolled my eyes, making him laugh and nudge at me with his shoulder.

“Never gonna happen, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? For fuck’s sake, Gillespie. You’re like two months older than me. You’re not exactly drawing your pension just yet.”

“It all counts.” He lifted his wrist and looked at his watch. “I better head back to my car and start heading back. I’ve got an early call in the morning.”

My heart sank at his words. I’d known the entire weekend he couldn’t stay forever and as we turned around to walk back the way we came, I felt a feeling of sadness wash over me.

“Hey, don’t do that.” He scolded me.

“Do what?”

“Fold in on yourself. We’ll both be home for Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve just enjoyed having your ugly face around.”

“Ugly? You wound me.”

“Whatever.”

Silence fell over us as we continued walking, and the closer we got to the parking lot, the sadder I became at having to say goodbye to him again. He took hold of my hand, interlinking our fingers the way we always did.

Finally, we reached his car and came to a standstill next to it.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I needed this weekend.”

“I’ll always be there when you need me.” I knew he meant it too. He always did.

“I know. It’s one of the main reasons I adore you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. I wasn’t ready to let him go, but knew I had to. Knew I had to carry on with this new chapter of my life that didn’t revolve around our friendship, knew he needed to get back to work and forge his way in his chosen career.

“Love you, Trouble.” He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead before pulling away from our hug and unlocking his car. “Gonna miss you.”

“Gonna miss you more. Let me know when you’re back, so I don’t worry.”

“I promise.”

Lena walked to stand beside me as I watched Charlie climb into his car and pull away. We stood and watched him drive away until I couldn’t see his car anymore.

“That boy is in love with you.” I ignored her as I turned to walk back to our dorm. “Just as much as you are with him.”

:: ::

Christmas break had been crazy. My large family and the Gillespie family always mixed for the holiday, and it was always loud, full of laughter, and more than a little raucous. It was my favorite time of the year.

This year was no different, but it was over all too soon, and I barely saw Charlie. He got back home on Christmas Eve, and had to leave again the day after Christmas Day thanks to reshoots and stuff I didn’t really understand. Most of my time had been spent with his sister, Megan, but there was a hole in my celebrations. A Charlie-sized hole.

He didn’t even make it back home for New Year, and I saw in midnight on the back porch of my parent’s house alone, a glass of champagne untouched next to me. I’d tried facetiming him, but my calls had gone unanswered.

Arriving back at college was a relief, and the holiday period had made me realize I’d become so co-dependent on my best friend, I was holding myself back from living my life.

“Hey bitch, how was Mr. Tallish, dark, and gorgeous?” Lena asked as we both unpacked from our vacations.

“Busy. I hardly saw or spoke to him.” I could hear the bitterness in my own voice and hated it, but I also kind of didn’t care.

“I’m sorry, babe. How about we head out to a ‘welcome back’ party, get dressed up, and break some hearts?”

After thinking about it for a split second, I grinned and agreed.

“Fuck it. Why not?”

Usually, campus parties were casual affairs; sweats and tank tops, but the flyers about this one was emblazoned with the words ‘dress to impress’, so Lena and I went all out.

Walking across campus in my favorite LBD and a pair of amazing stiletto pumps, I felt like I could conquer the world. I’d made an effort with my hair and makeup, and when Lena was ready, we’d taken a shit ton of selfies, posting them on Instagram. It was amazing what getting dressed up did for a girl’s self-esteem.

“Honey, when Charlie sees those photos on insta, he’s gonna be calling you like crazy.”

“Well, it’s a shame my phone is on silent in my purse, then. Tonight is for me and you to have a great time.”

“And maybe try and get over one guy with another?”

“Lena, I don’t need to get over Charlie. He’s my best friend, and I adore him. But that’s all it is.”

As we entered the party – in a frat house, naturally – I couldn’t help but be impressed with how dressed up everyone was. I followed Lena through the crowd into the kitchen where we managed to grab some drinks.

“Yeah, okay. You keep telling yourself that. I can only go by what my eyes show me, and there is more going on between you two than either of you want to admit.” I opened my mouth to say something, but she cut me off. “I’ll shut up now. Let’s go, Momma’s in the mood for dancin’.”

I didn’t see Lena for three days after the party. She’d met some guy and had spent the entire time in his bed. It had been nice to have the room to myself as I caught up with movies and TV shows on Netflix I had missed over the holiday period. By the time classes started back up, she was back and seriously study mode.

“John was asking after you again today.” She told me two weeks back into classes as we walked in the wintery sunshine to get some lunch.

“Oh.” I had no idea who John was, but I was going along with it.

“You don’t remember him, do you?”

“No clue, sorry.”

After gasping, she proceeded to fill me on John. Apparently, I’d danced with him a lot at the frat party. He was six feet tall, well built, but not huge, and had a hint of red hair. None of it was ringing any bells, but seeing as she was sleeping with his roommate, she saw him regularly.

“How can you not remember him? you were all over him.”

“Lena, I’d almost drank my weight in tequila, I would have been impressed if I’d remembered my own name, never mind someone else’s.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket. After tapping on the screen for a couple of minutes, she turned it so I could see.

The guy on screen was gorgeous. Piercing green eyes that reminded me of the forest near my house, and a wide, friendly smile.

“Judging by that reaction, you’d have no problems coming out with us tonight? Nothing heavy, just a few drinks and some food.”

“I wouldn’t be averse to food and drinks.” Laughing at my answer, she linked our arms and steered me into our favorite sandwich bar.

:: ::

The first meeting turned into a first date, then a second, a third, and before I’d even realized, John and I were dating, and it had been three months since that first meeting that I could remember. He was easy going and fun to be around, plus he loved being outside rather than cooped up in a room with another person. Especially when that person was his roommate who was often making out for hours with my roommate. We spent a lot of time on the hidden trail I’d discovered with Charlie, often taking a blanket so we could have a picnic under the lush canopy of trees.

John was a photography major, and never went anywhere without his camera – unless there was going to be alcohol – and my photo wall in my room was soon full of photos of the two of us, of me and Lena, and random things he saw that made him think of me. I had never been tagged in so many photos of me sober on Instagram in my life, and I loved every minute of our time together, but while I was happy, and living my best life there was still something missing. A 5,8” dark haired something.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken to Charlie for longer than five minutes, and never mind an actual facetime call. He’d finished up with 2nd Generation and had gone back home for a few weeks. I’d seen photos of him and his family, mostly his cousin Madi, doing the things I would usually be doing with them. Spring break was coming up, and while most of my friends were planning crazy trips down to Florida or Mexico, all I wanted to do was to go home.

“Hey, what are you doing for Spring Break?” I asked John as we lay tangled together in my bed, a sheen of sweat on both of our skin.

“I haven’t made any plans yet, why?”

“Fancy coming to Canada?”

:: ::

Pulling up in the drive outside my parent’s house, I look over at John in the passenger seat. He looked nervous as hell which made me chuckle. I unclipped my belt and leaned over to give him a quick kiss.

“Stop panicking. It’s going to be fine.” I told him. My parents were looking forward to meeting him. “I should be the nervous one. I’ve never brought a guy home before.”

“What? Never? Not even in high school?” I shook my head. “What about your prom date?”

“Me and Charlie went to prom together. We did everything together, and it stopped guys asking me out and stuff. So yeah…” I drifted off, realizing that this was my first relationship, my first boyfriend.

“That’s cool. Come one, let’s get this over with so we can both calm down.” He gave me another kiss before getting out of the car, retrieving our bags from the trunk. By the time I’d got out, he was standing beside me, holding out his hand. I took hold of it and led him to the house.

“Mom, dad? Anyone?” The house was silent when I let us in, John dropping our bags on the floor in the entry. “Hello? Favorite daughter is home for a week.”

“Only daughter you mean.” My younger brother, Tyler came bounding down the stairs, skidding to a stop when he saw John standing next to me.

“Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.” I glared at him. “I mean, I’ve seen photos and shit, but I didn’t expect you to be so big. Nice to meet you, man.” Tyler held out his hand for John to shake, which he did, chuckling at my brother’s lack of brain to mouth filter.

“Ty, where is everyone?”

“Out in the yard. Dad’s cleaning off the barbecue and mom’s making sure he does it right.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Not that I expected it to, but nothing had changed. Tyler took off through the house out into the back yard where my family were waiting.

“Ready for a trial by fire?” I asked John, looking up at him, smiling.

“Best to get it over and done with.”

Turning my whole body so I was fully facing him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my tiptoes to give him a kiss.

“They’re gonna love you, I promise.” I murmured against his plump lips. He took a deep breath, gave me another quick kiss, and untangle me from him.

“Let’s do this.”

Once again, with our hands linked, I led the way, this time through the house I’d grown up in and out into the large back yard. Which was full of people, not just my family. Of course, the Gillespies were here too.

As John and I came to a stop on the ack porch, I cast my eyes across the space before me, looking for Charlie. It was a mixture of habit and wanting to see him, but I couldn’t find him.

“He’s not here.” Megan had jogged over and pulled me into a hug so she could whisper into my ear. Her words caused a wave of sadness to wash over me. “And we finally get to meet this guy who is all over your insta?” She grinned at John; her smile achingly similar to that of her brother.

“John, this is Megan, the little sister I never wanted, but got stuck with anyway.” As the two of the chatted, the three of us moved down into the garden so I could introduce my boyfriend to everyone.

:: ::

John had been stolen away by my dad, Tyler, and Charlie’s dad, leaving me to spend time with my mom. We sat on her favorite garden seat, watching everyone in silence for a few minutes before she turned to me.

“He’s nice. I can see why you like him so much.” I looked at her, waiting. Eventually, I realized she wasn’t going to say it.

“But? I know there’s a but in there somewhere.”

“No, no but.” She was lying, I could tell by the way her voice was at least an octave higher than usual.

“Mom. You can be honest with me, I’m not gonna bite your head off.”

“I just worry you’re rushing things. At college everything so… intense, and you’re constantly aware of it ending, that you’ll be leaving that part of your life behind you one day. What then?”

“I-we-I…” I didn’t have a coherent answer for her. She wasn’t wrong, but she’d also always told me that college was supposed to be the best time of my life, so why wouldn’t I spend it with someone I not only enjoyed being with, but who I was attracted too at the same time?

“Honey, I’m not trying to make you question things, I just want you to remember who you are and what you want in life.”

“Well, I want to be with John for now. Isn’t that enough?”

“If it is for you, it is for me.” She pulled me in for a hug. I loved my mom, but she’d confused me with our conversation. “You do realize your dad’s going to pitch a fit when he realizes you’re sharing a room.”

I stared at her. I’d assumed my parents would make him sleep in the spare room.

“Wait, what?”

“Sweetheart, neither of us are stupid. We know how things are at college, and as long as you’re being safe, I can’t tell you what to do anymore.”

Before I could say anything, Megan came over to pull me away. Arm in arm, we walked to the end of the garden, away from the house. Well, she led me, I merely went along with it.

“What’s up?” I asked her. Usually, she was a lot like her brother, constantly moving and talking, but now she was quiet and subdued. “Meg, seriously. You’re making me worried.”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to get you on your own so we can talk about that gorgeous hunk you brought home.” Relief flooded through me and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jesus Christ, you scared me.” We sat down on an old swing my dad had made when I was a kid and talked. She peppered me with questions about college, the guys, the parties, and most of all, about John. She was a senior in high school and couldn’t wait for her own college experience. She’d chosen to stay in Canada to study.

I answered all of her questions, but we were soon interrupted by our being called to finally get some food. I was starving and practically sprinted over to where my dad was piling food on a table laden with salad, fried, and all kinds of family favorites. As I loaded up my plate, John hovered next to me, doing the same.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in.” Megan’s voice was loud, making me turn my head. Charlie was walking toward us, wearing his hiking gear grinning at us all. I put my plate down and ran at him, our usual greeting.

“Trust you to show when the food’s ready.” I grinned at him as we broke apart and went back to the table to retrieve my plate, pulling it out of Charlie’s reach as he tried to steal a rib. “Get your own, there’s plenty.”

“But we always share, Trouble.” I rolled my eyes.

“Not today, Gillespie. This is all mine, and I may even have seconds.” I stuck my tongue out at him. A throat clearing behind me reminded me John was still with me. “Oh hey, you can finally meet John.”

“Yeah, great to finally meet you, man.” Charlie shook my boyfriend’s hand, his smile still on his face, but I noticed it didn’t completely reach his eyes.

“You too.”

“Well, I’m hungry, catch up later?” As Charlie nodded, I led John away so others could help themselves, over to a table with my parents. Why had that been more awkward than I’d expected? As I sat down, I caught Megan watching me, a strange look on her face.

:: ::

As the sun began to set, and things began to wind down, I decided to take John for a walk around the neighborhood I grew up in. We left the house, hand in hand, and walked along the street, passing Charlie’s house. I averted my eyes from the building, not wanting to make John think my attention wasn’t all on him.

“It’s nice here, very calm.” He commented as we reached the end of the street. “I grew up in the city, and it never got this quiet.” When I looked up at him, he was smiling softly.

“Come on, there’s a great playground just up the road.” I led the way, tugging on his hand as a laugh escaped me.

As we sat on the swings, both of us swaying back and forth as the sun set around us, bathing the sky with a vibrant orange. It was my favorite part of the day, one that made me think back over what had happened and made me realize that a new day was coming, a new chance to experience life. Charlie and I had spent so much time as kids on these very swings at this time, reflecting on choices we’d made throughout the day.

At the thought of my best friend, a slight movement caught my eye. When I looked at the path leading to the gate of the play park, I could see a figure retreating. Despite not being able to see the person’s face, I knew it was him. His shoulders were hunched, and his hands were shoved into the pockets of his shorts. The sound of John’s camera taking photos distracted me and I looked away for a minute. When I looked back, my best friend was nowhere to be seen.

“Stop taking photos of me.” I groaned, knowing he wouldn’t.

“How can I? you’re the most beautiful thing around.” Standing, John walked over to me and took hold of the chains with side of me to still the movement of the swing. He stood between my legs and bent his head and captured my lips in a kiss that started off slow and soft, but soon turned heated.

Letting go of the chains, John managed to lift me off the swing, holding me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. Slowly, he began to walk across the playground, only stopping when he reached the large wooden playhouse I’d played in as a kid.

Putting me on my feet and letting go, he removed the camera from around his neck and placed it in a safe place before climbing into the playhouse, removing his shirt and placing it on the wooden boards. When he looked over at me, his green eyes which were usually the color of spring grass were now the color of a lush, dark forest.

“What? Here? Are you trying to soil my childhood memories?”

“Totally, now come here before I have to take matters into my own hands.” He palmed the bulge in his shorts, locking eyes with me. With a laugh that was huskier than I’d ever sounded, I climbed in after him and straddled his thighs.

:: ::

Waking up at the crack of dawn, wrapped in John’s strong arms, in my childhood bedroom should have felt weird. But it didn’t. I was warm and content, but as we had a busy day planned, I couldn’t stay in our little cocoon. We had a camping trip to get ready for.

I crawled out of his arms and dived into the bathroom for a quick shower. By the time I emerged wrapped in a towel, John was sat up in my bed, scrolling on his phone.

“Come on you, we’re going camping. Up and at ‘em.” I was excited. It had been far too long since I’d been down to Fundy and I couldn’t wait to get on the road.

“Babe, it’s not even 6a.m.” He groaned.

“Yeah, and? Come on. Need to fuel up with a good breakfast.” I pulled on some clothes and left the room, skipping down the stairs. ‘My dad had always been an early riser, so it was no surprise to find him in the kitchen holding a steaming cup of coffee as he read a book at the breakfast bar.

“Morning daddy.” I kissed his cheek as I passed him to get to the coffee pot.

“Morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?” I could hear the unasked question behind his actual question.

“Yes, like a log. Stop worrying about me, I’m not a little girl anymore.”

“Don’t I know it. Please, just tell-”

“Dad. Nothing happened last night. And even if it had, I would be careful. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could have fooled me.” Tyler interrupted us, grinning when I gave him the finger.

“Stop picking on your sister. And you,” he looked at me, “put that finger down.”

I laughed as I sipped at my coffee before telling them I was going out to grab the camping gear.

“I’ll go and make sure Charlie and Megan are up and ready.” Tyle put his own cup down and left the kitchen. I froze on the spot I stood in

Shit. I didn’t realize he’d invited them.

“Everything okay?” Dad asked.

“Yeah, just trying to work out what we need.” I lied before flashing him a quick smile. I could hear John coming downstairs. “Please, no interrogation.” I hissed at my dad. He drew a cross over his heart as my boyfriend entered the kitchen, his hair damp from the shower.

“Morning, sir.” He greeted my dad.

“Please, John. Sir was my father. Call me Frank like everyone else.”

After giving John a quick kiss, I went out to the shed to gather up everything we’d need for a couple of days down in Fundy.

An hour later, Tyler and I had expertly packed up the trunk of my car and were just about to climb in when Charlie and Megan pulled up in Charlie’s car.

“Ready to rock and roll?” He called out of his window, a wide grin on his face.

“You know it. Last one there buys lunch.” I called out our usual challenge as I jumped into the driver’s seat, Tyler urging John in as Charlie pulled away with a screech. Within minutes, the doors were closed, the engine started, and we were on our way.

“Is she always this competitive?” John turned to face my brother in the back seat as I turned the radio on, looking for something to sing along to.

“Only with Charlie, so yes. Constantly. They can make a contest out of everything.” I rolled my eyes.

“No I don’t.”

“Sis, I love you, but you do. You and Charlie are a fucking nightmare at times.”

“You’re talking bullshit.” I tried to change the subject, but Tyler was on a roll.

“Remember that time you two tried to eat more popping candy than the other and you ended up barfing all over yourself?”

“Really? You bring that up? I was fifteen, Ty. And I’d drank about a gallon of soda. It was the gas.”

“Whatever. What about the time when you-” I cut him off.

“That’s enough. Babe, did you go camping much growing up?” I looked at John who had gone quiet. He was looking out of the window, and it took me tapping him on the knee to get his attention.

“Nah, not really. I’m a city boy, so we didn’t really do the whole ‘great outdoors’ thing.”

“Not even on vacation?” Tyler asked.

“Nah, we did Disney and Universal, stuff like that.”

“Well, you’re in for a treat. This is our favorite place on Earth and your camera’s gonna get a good workout.” I smiled at him as I intertwined our fingers as I drove.

:: ::

Thanks to my brother have the bladder the size of a pea and three cans of soda, we arrived at our usual camping ground over half an hour after Charlie and Megan. They’d already set up their tent and were waiting for us as if they didn’t have a care in the world, music drifting softly from the stereo in his car.

“Tyler potty breaks, again?” Charlie asked, laughing.

“He travels back with you.” I grumbled as I opened the trunk and began to drag our gear out. Instantly, Charlie was on his feet, unfolding the tents to put them up with Tyler’s help.

“What do you need me to do?” John asked me.

“Take those coolers of food and drinks over to Megan. She’s always in charge of that stuff, makes sure we don’t live off candy and chips.”

I couldn’t help but watch the muscles in his back as he lifted the two coolers out of the trunk. He wasn’t overly muscly, but his form was impressive. I stood back and admired him for a minute.

“Hey, Trouble. Give me a hand with this. Your brother’s still useless.” Charlie called out.

By the time the tents were all up, one for Tyler, and one for me and John, we were all starving.

“Hey, losers. You owe us lunch.” Charlie called out, giving his sister a high five.

“Let me just get changed, and we’ll go.” In the middle of the camping ground was a café that served some of the best food. I ducked into the tent and changed my shirt and jeans for a bikini top and denim shorts. As I emerged from the small space, I pulled one of Charlie’s old cut off shirts over my head. “Right, let’s go and introduce John to poutine.

“What?”

“Oh, man. It’s the best.” Tyler slapped him on the back as he led the way. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie watch as John took hold of my hand.

:: ::

The sun was setting and the five of us were sitting around a campfire. Charlie had his guitar and he and Megan were singing some of their favorite songs. As always, I was blown away by their talent and how well their voices blended together. I’d always been a bit jealous of how musical the Gillespie family was. All of them sang, played instruments, and dance – well Charlie didn’t that well, but he always gave his all when his sister dragged him into it.

John sat next to me, his camera lifted up to his face as he took photo after photo, something he’d been doing all day. He’d told me he’d been blown away by the beauty of the place and that gave me a warm feeling, being able to share one of my favorite places with him.

“Hey, Trouble. Your turn.” Charlie handed me the guitar.

“Not tonight, Gillespie.” I was exhausted and it had been far too long since I’d played or sang. I knew I was never going to sound as good as him and Megan; I rarely did.

“Nope, you’re not getting out of it. Come on, you know you wanna.” He was egging me on, and knew I’d give in eventually.

“Come on, it’s tradition.” Megan joined in with the cajoling as Tyler called out his two cents worth. With a sigh, I took the guitar from Charlie and propped it on my knee.

“Any requests?” I asked.

“Under the Bridge.” The Red Hot Chili Peppers song was one of my favorites and I loved singing it.

“I didn’t know you played.” John sounded surprised.

“Yeah, Charlie taught me a few years ago. It’s been a while though and I’m rusty as hell because I never got my own guitar.” I ran my fingers down the strings before making myself a bit more comfortable. “Hey, you got a spare pick?” I asked Charlie. He reached into the pocket on the front of his soft guitar case before leaning over to hand me the small piece of plastic. I couldn’t help but laugh at the poop emoji design on it. I’d ordered him a bunch of them as part of his birthday present the previous year.

I ran through the song in my mind reminding me of the lyrics and chords before I began to play.

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner

Sometimes I feel like my only friend

Is the city I live in, the city of angels

Lonely as I am, together we cry

I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion

I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am

She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy

Well, I never worry, now that is a lie

As I expected, Charlie joined in on the bridge, harmonizing with me. We’d always sang this song together. It had become a bit of a tradition at gatherings with our families and friends. As always when we sang together, Charlie and I locked eyes, a small smile on his face made me smile back as we sang. There was a connection between us when we sang, one that had been there from the day we became friends.

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

I don't ever wanna feel

Like I did that day

Take me to the place I love

Take me all the way

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Finally, the song came to an end and silence filled the air around us. Without saying anything, I handed the guitar and pick back to Charlie without looking at him. I leaned over, picked up my bottle of beer, and drained the last of it. For some reason, a weird feeling had come over me while we’d sung, and I didn’t know how to read it. In the end, I decided to ignore it and escape into my tent.

“I’m tired guys. I’m gonna turn in.” As I faked a yawn, I didn’t bother waiting for a response as I stood up, dropped the bottle in a trash bag, gave John a quick kiss, and crawled into my tent. As I stripped out of my hoodie and sweats and crawled into my sleep bag, Megan stuck her head through the flap.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. It’s been a long day.” It hadn’t really, and she knew it hadn’t. We hadn’t done anything different to what we would normally in Fundy.

“Okay…”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sure. Night.” With a small smile she disappeared from the opening of the tent, leaving me to settle down and try to get to sleep.

I was still wide awake when John crawled into the tent an hour or so later. He tried not to make too much noise as he stripped down to his boxers before getting into his own sleeping bag. The lamp hanging from the tent roof was turned on low, just about lighting up the space around us.

“Hey.” I kept my voice low, knowing from experience how the sound travelled at night.

“Hey.” He repeated as I turned to face him, propping myself up on one elbow.

“Have you had a good day?”

“It’s been great. I can see why you guys love it out here.

“Yeah, it’s great. We’re lucky having all this pretty much on our doorstep. I couldn’t imagine not being able to get out here. I bet you got some great shots.”

“I did. I can’t wait to get back and start editing them. Some should work well for school too.”

“Hey,” I dropped my voice even lower. “Wanna join the bags together and… snuggle?” I waggled my eyebrows at him in the dim lighting, making him smile softly.

“Not tonight. I’m so tired after all the hiking and swimming you guys made me do today.” He turned his head to look at me. “That okay?”

“Of course.” I leaned over and kissed him before getting comfortable again against his solid form. This time, I did fall asleep.

:: ::

When I woke up, the light was bright around me, despite being inside the tent. I was also alone. Sitting up, I wiped the sleep from my eyes and crawled out of the tent. John was sitting on his own, a cup of coffee cradled between his hands.

“Morning.” I press a kiss to his cheek as I sit down.

“Aren’t you cold?” he asks, looking at my bare legs. I’m still only in t-shirt I slept in.

“Not at all. It’s not that cold.” I chuckle as I pour myself a coffee. There’s a slight hint of steam in front of my face as I speak.

“It’s freezing, babe.”

“I’m Canadian, remember. This is a gorgeous spring morning.” I lean over and give him another kiss, this time it’s more than a simple and perfunctory peck. John’s hand cups the back of my head, his fingers tangling in my hair. When we pull apart, I notice he’s breathing a little heavier than he was before and it makes me grin.

“You’re crazy.”

“You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Tyler’s voice surprises the both of us. When I turn, he’s standing over us, smirking at me.

“Uh… why am I suddenly nervous?” John asks my brother. They seem to have gotten on really well which pleases me. Tyler tipped me out of my seat before making himself comfortable in my place. Glaring at him, I moved around and sat on John’s lap.

“How are you with heights?” Tyler asks.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“How do you feel about deep water?”

I knew where this was going, so I decided to go and grab a shower in the shower block. As I ducked into the tent, I heard John exclaim.

“She does what?”

“Yeah, she and Charlie cliff dive.” I turned to look at John and laughed at the look of horror on his face. “It started out as a dare, of course, and now they do it every time we’re here.”

Leaving the two of them talking, I grab my washbag and take a walk over to the block of showers. Thankfully, there isn’t much of a queue and I’m able to snag one pretty quickly. The water’s not exactly hot, which means I don’t dawdle as I wash. Eventually, I emerge fully dressed, a towel wrapped around my hair and almost bump into Charlie.

“Woah, hey. You’re up late.” He commented, steadying me so I wouldn’t fall over.

“Not really.” It was barely 8 a.m., which to Charlie was practically a lie in. “I was up before you.”

“Nope. I was up at sunrise and went for a walk.” I rolled my eyes.

“Of course you were.”

“Are you heading back?”

“Yeah, I want to get ready for the cliffs.” I grinned at him. He fell into step beside me, and we walked back to the tents together.

“Remember that time you pushed me before I was ready, and I belly flopped so hard?”

“Oh my God, you screamed like a little girl who got a pony for her birthday. It was hilarious.”

“It also hurt like a fucking bitch.”

Charlie and I approached our tents, laughing to find John, Tyler, and Megan watching us as if we’d lost our minds.

“Who’s ready for the cliffs?” I asked, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes. The memory of Charlie screaming lived in my head, rent free, and I couldn’t not laugh about it.

“Uh…” John looked nervous. After throwing my washbag into the tent, I bounced over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Charlie turn his back and crawl into the tent he shared with his sister.

“No need to be nervous. You don’t have to dive if you don’t want to, just stay near the top, take photos, and enjoy the view. It’s all Megan and Ty do, because they’re both massive chickens.” As I spoke, I looked over at my brother who was flipping me off. “Don’t decide now. See how you feel nearer the time.”

Once we were at the cliffs, Megan spread out a blanket and sat down, a book in her hand. Tyler joined her, scrolling through his phone. John and I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking down into the ocean. We were nowhere near the top, as over the years we’d worked out this was the best place for jumping into the water without it taking an age to get back, but it was high enough to get my blood pumping.

“Yeah… I think I’ll sit this one out.” Moving back, John joined Tyler and Meghan, but remained standing, his camera at the ready. I moved back a little but stayed fairly close to the edge so I could get ready.

“Gillespie?” I called out my challenge as I stripped out of my shorts and tank tops, kicking my sandals off, revealing a mismatched bikini. Behind me, I heard a sharp intake of breath and turned to grin at John, but he had his back to me and was taking photos of the view.

A roar sounded and Charlie ran past me, launching himself off the edge of the cliffs. He ‘battle cry’ could be heard the entire way down until it was broken off by a splash.

With a grin on my face, I followed, dipping myself forward into a dive. I cut through the water, plunging deep before arcing up to break the surface.

“Show off.” Charlie called out as he tread the water.

“Of course. I need to make you look bad at something.” I swam over to him, taking hold of his hand and pulling him back to shore so we could start the climb back to where the others waited. There was a lot of pushing and shoving between the two of us as we made out way, and when we finally reached them, I was out of breath from laughing so much. Charlie’s arm was slung over my shoulder as he struggled to keep himself upright.

“Then you just whipped your top off and jumped.” He was howling with laughter. “That’s why we’ve never given you tequila since.”

I gave him a friendly shove.

“It wasn’t just the tequila, and you know it Gillespie. We hadn’t eaten all day, then you pulled out Jose and it was game over.” He grabbed me around the waits and walked toward the edge, as if he was going to throw me. Admittedly, if he did, it wouldn’t have been the first time. I screamed at him to put me down, hearing my brother and Megan laughing. Eventually, he did as I asked before diving off the edge again, this time executing an almost perfect dive. “Asshole.” I muttered as I grabbed a towel to wrap around my waist.

It wasn’t until I sat down next to him, that I realized John was very quiet and was scrolling through his phone.

:: ::

Arriving back at my house early evening, I was ready for a hot shower and my own bed. Tyler ducked into the house while John and I unloaded the trunk and stored the camping gear back where it belonged. He’d slept for most of the trip back, and I could tell something was bothering him.

After having dinner with my parents, John excused himself to try and get some sleep. It had been a pretty full on couple of days, but not enough to wipe him out. After a few minutes, I decided to go and check on him. I didn’t want him getting sick or something.

When I got to my room, I was surprised to find him packing his stuff into his bag.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He clearly hadn’t expected me to come upstairs and my voice made him jump even though I hadn’t spoken particularly loudly.

“I’m heading back to my dorm.” I moved into my room, closing the door behind me. When I reached up to touch his shoulder, he flinched away from me.

“Woah. Why?”

“Look, I can’t play second best. I really like you, but it’s very clear that your heart lies elsewhere.”

“John, babe. I have no idea what you’re talking about here.” I put my hand on his arm, trying to get him to turn and face me. Eventually he did, sinking onto the edge of my bed.

“Look, we’ve been having fun, right?” I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. “Neither of us expected anything serious, and while I thought I might have been falling for you, the past few days have made me realize you could never feel the same way about me.”

“W-w-what?”

When John looked up at me, meeting my eyes with his gorgeous green ones, there was no sadness in them. There was only what I could describe as an acceptance of some sort. It confused the hell out of me.

“I know you tell everyone he’s your best friend, but it’s obvious to everyone who spends any kind of time with the two of you that you’re both head over heels for the other.”

I couldn’t help it, but I burst out laughing.

“Me and Charlie? No way. You’ve got it all wrong, believe me.”

“See, you say that, and I think on the surface that you believe it, but deep down… I’m a photographer. I literally look at details of the things around me all the time, and there’s no mistaking there’s something going on between the two of you. It’s just taking both of you some time to realize it; although, I think Charlie might be there already. He’s crazy jealous of me.” A snort escaped me before I could stop it. “I’m serious. Whenever we were together the past few days, he either turned his back, walked away, or interrupted us. You may see him as your best friend, but he’s in love with you. And I can’t compete with that.”

Standing back up, John finished packing his stuff, telling me he had a train booked in an hour. Knowing I wasn’t going to change his mind, I offered him a ride to the station, but he refused saying he’d book an uber.

Rather than watch him leave, I went out into the garden and sat on the swing. I’d never had a breakup, so I had nothing to compare it to, but I didn’t feel as sad as I expected to. In the movies, girls lay in their beds for days on end with messy hair and mascara running down their faces until their friends ran an intervention. Yeah, I was sad that John had broken up with me, but it felt like I was losing a friend more than a boyfriend. Even if the reasoning was ludicrous. There was no way on Earth Charlie Gillespie, the guy all the girls wanted, was in love with me. Sure, I knew he loved me – we were best friends, but that was it.

As the sun set around me, I finally made my way inside. I could hear the TV playing in the lounge, but didn’t feel like being pitied by my family, so I made my way up to my bedroom. When I was there, it felt empty without John’s big, solid frame. He’d only been here two days, but he’d made an impression on my space.

Not sure what to do with myself, I sat on my bed, hearing a crinkle. There was an envelope on my pillow.

I’m sorry it ended like this, but you need to know and understand that I don’t hate you – just in case you were wondering. Yeah, I’m upset, but I’m a big boy and I’ll get over it, and when I do, I hope we can still be friends. I honestly love spending time with you, and meeting your family was great.

I know you didn’t believe me when I told you about Charlie, but I hope these prove it to you.

See you soon, John.

Inside the envelopes were a couple of polaroid photos. I’d forgotten he’d brought his along with his big one. We’d all taken turns taking silly shots of one another, shaking them as they developed around the campfire we’d had.

The first was me holding Charlie’s guitar. I was clearly singing, looking at him, but there was something in the way I looked at my best friend. A softness to my face that could only be interpreted as affection – unsurprising, considering how much he meant to me, how much we meant to one another.

The second, was after our first jump at the cliffs. We were walking toward the camera, arms wrapped around one another, laughing. If it was anyone else, I would say it was quite an intimate photo, but it was me and Charlie. We were always like that, always touching, always laughing.

Putting the letter and photos on my desk, I lay back on my bed. I was confused as hell and didn’t know what to think or who to talk to.

As if summoned, my phone began to ring, Lena’s name flashing on the screen. When I answered, she didn’t bother with a greeting.

“So, when are you and pretty boy getting it on?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“John text me, told me what happened, said you might need someone to talk to. He finally saw what I saw.”

“And what did you see?”

“You and Charlie boy. All the feels.”

“Lena, there are no feels. We’re friends, best friends.”

“Honey, I know you’re a bit blind to the fact that that boy is crazy in love with you, probably has been for years, and you…”

“I what?”

“You look at him like he hung the moon. I don’t look at my best friend like that. I know it’s a lot to take in, but think about it, logically. Try to look at your relationship the way an outsider would, then tell me you’re not gonna end up ridiculously happy, living in some gorgeous apartment somewhere, surrounded by gorgeous babies.”

“And what if I come to the realization he’s just my friend?”

“Then I would say you’re blind as fuck. Look, I gotta go, my nanna’s lethal at dominoes, so I gotta make sure she doesn’t cheat. I’ll see you in a few days.” Lena ended the call. I was no clearer on the situation I had been before we’d spoken, but I least I had something to do.

Could everyone be right, and I was wrong? I loved Charlie, adored him, but I wasn’t in love with him. We were friends, the best, and that was all. Wasn’t it? I was pretty sure it was for me.

I needed air. I made my way back downstairs, grabbing my car keys from the side unit and went outside. It was late, but maybe a drive would help. As I unlocked my car, I heard my name being called. Turning, I saw Charlie jogging over to me.

“Hey, where are you going?”

“I just need to clear my head.”

“Where’s the big man.” Something flashed in his eyes as he asked about John. I tried not to read too much into it, but if I didn’t know better, it looked like jealousy. I gave myself a mental slap around the back of the head for projecting John and Lena’s words onto myself.

“He left. Went back to campus. We’re over.” Immediately, Charlie’s arms were wrapped around me and I was pulled in tight against his chest. My senses were overwhelmed by the feel of him, the sound of his heartbeat, and the scent of him. It was too much and I pulled away.

“Are you okay? I know you liked him.”

“Yeah, I’m good. It wasn’t that serious.”

“Serious enough to sleep with him.” An undertone of something I couldn’t work out laced his voice.

“Charles. I wasn’t a virgin when I met John. I may not have had any serious relationships, or relationships in any capacity, but I wasn’t innocent. Just the way you’re not, so don’t pull that bullshit with me.”

Boys at high school may have been wary of Charlie, but he wasn’t around at college when I discovered meaningless one night stands weren’t for me.

“I’m sorry. I just don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I’m not. Maybe I should be more upset, but I can’t fake it.”

“You sound upset.” I looked up at him, stepping back slightly to move closer to my car. “I don’t like it when you’re upset, even when you don’t think you are, like that time when-”

“Look, I’m not here for a trip down memory lane. I want to go for a drive. Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” He turned to walk away an I pulled open the driver’s side door. Before I could sink into the seat, I was spun around. Charlie had hold of my wrist in one hand, but it was a gentle hold. He slammed the door and walked toward me. Nerves took over me and I back away from him, my back hitting the car behind me.

When he let go of my wrist, he placed his hands either side of me, resting against the cool metal of my car. Swallowing, I locked eyes with him, feeling very unsure of myself. I opened my mouth to ask him what was happening but didn’t manage the words before he crashed his lips against mine.

Tagging:

@dream-a-little-bigger-x @calamitykaty @crybabyddl @morganayennefertyrell @lovesanimals @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve @echocharm17618 @kinda-really-lost @n0wornever @all-in-fangirl @kcd15 @charliesmountains @amazinggracy @happinessinthedarkesttimes @xplrreylo @5sosmukefan

#Mich writes fic #charlie x reader #charlie gillespie fic

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donaidk · 3 years

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George Russell - We Don’t Have To Dance I.

In January I made a half ready au for something really outside Formula racing. Back then I was watching quite a bit of rally races before starting the F1 season off. Now I rewrote it as a George oneshot - which won’t stay a ONEshot - and finished it up. Sadly, this won’t be dripping from fluff just yet. Maybe there’s a chance for a happy end, but I didn’t decide on it yet 😂 Hope everyone will like it 🧡 (I accidentally deleted the previous post, so I’m just reposting it now again🤦‍♀️)

TW: car crash, injuries (not explicit but still, be careful) Title song is by Andy Black

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

" Welcome, everyone. Today will be quite a busy lobby as we have lots of people playing with us today. " He started his usual intro by describing what they will be doing. People were still arriving, but they had time until the first game would start.

Luckily streams like these were only chaotic in a funny way, making everything hilarious and ten times better. Just as the first notifications started coming in, he had to make sure the race's stream was still visible next to the other page. Then he could finally look at the incoming messages while they were waiting for the others to get ready. The first question made George realise he missed out important info from his intro.

" Hana isn't playing with us today. I almost forgot to tell you guys. I'm sorry in advance, but I will be quite distracted today. She is racing today, and the stream is open on my other screen. " He let out a laugh, already anticipating all the emojis and dripping comments about him and Johanna. " I usually put my off-days around her racing days, but it's a tournament, and I would have missed the whole week if I followed my usual plan for days like this. " He added, so they understood why today is like this. He had just a few streaming days planned every week during their off season, which always collided with Hana’s rally season, but luckily he could always play around with the schedule.

He hated not fully being there for his viewers, but at the same time, he wanted to support his girlfriend even when he couldn't travel there with her. Sometimes he could travel with her during his off-season but usually his training held George back, as he couldn’t miss them. It was the second-best way to get all the info of her racing in just seconds after the real events. Sadly the stream wasn't just about her, but as someone with a known name in the group, fortunately, they were showing her car quite frequently. By the time they went live, she already started and was on the first third of the track, completing that part in the perfect time, as she usually does. For a second, he just stared at the other screen as they were showing their inside cam but then had to focus back as they were starting the round in their game.

Luckily he manages the multitasking, mostly focusing on their game and trying to win, while catching every second they were showing Hana's car or maybe talking about her and how they're doing. He maybe lost a round because of an announcement about her time, but one game won't kill anyone, will it? In the first break, he retweeted a clip that was shared of her speeding down a straight, making him feel proud inside as they were saying no one has a chance against her. It always felt unreal how good she was in her category and how well they always talked about her. It was something that made him feel strangely proud, even though he had nothing to do with her skills. Everything she achieved was hers and no one else's, no matter what the haters would say. Her formula racing career may have ended early, but George was quite sure that she felt a lot more comfortable in the world of rally. After the first few bumps in the road, Hana found her place and style, getting her car onto the top half of the leaderboard every race.

The moment they start another round is when he hears the panicked voices in his headset, although lower than anything else. As soon as he looks at the stream, he sees the playback of a light blue car slipping on the road and flipping up in the air before hitting the ground with full force and starting to flip through the field until it finally comes to a stop as it hits a tree with Hana's door, the car staying on its roof. He waits for a second, hoping they will play the inside cam but as they don't include it, he knows there's probably a lot more to the crash than just a broken car. There are unmissable flames on the underside, but they switch to another driver just before he can see the marshalls getting to them and probably trying to get the team out before the fire consumes the frame of the vehicle and everything else inside of it.

" Fuck... " He doesn't even care about his own stream anymore, getting up and closing everything. As soon as the computer starts shutting off, he shoots out of the room. His phone in his hand already as there is an incoming call from Martha, his girlfriend's mother. " I just saw it, what's going on? " He spoke rushed, wanting to know everything that was said to them.

" They won't show anything, but the boss said they got them out just before it went up in flames. She was conscious but fainted as they took them to the ambulance. " Hana's mother was most likely in a full-fledged panic attack, and George could hear that they were packing in the background.

" I will get a ticket as soon as possible. I don't know when I'm getting there. " George sighed while pulling out a duffle bag to fill it with clothes for several days if needed. He didn't know how dangerous her condition was, and how many days they were spending there.

" It's okay. I will send you all the info when we get it finally. They will probably take them to the hospital. I just don't know which one, yet. Fucking hell. " It was the first time George ever heard her curse, but he didn't have the time to be surprised about it. More like it made him even more panicked as he knew the situation is probably worse than he anticipated.

He couldn't even push the phone into his pocket before another call came in from Alex. He knew they were probably puzzled about his disappearance, but he wanted to finish packing before talking to them. When he was in a taxi finally, on the way to the airport, he pulled it out of his jacket and dialled Alex's number.

" Hey, sorry for not answering. I just had to rush out of the house to the airport. Hana had a horrific crash. " He sighed, feeling as his body finally realised what's happening and started to stiffen up from the stress.

" Jesus Christ. Right. Just go, stay safe. I just wanted to ask if everything is okay, but fuck, didn't think it was this bad. " Alex mumbled out, and all the sounds were audible from the background as the others probably heard George's answer.

" She did a pretty high flip. They said she fainted just as they got to safety, so at least she's still alive. I don't think I would be if I have been the one inside. Man, I don't know what will happen. " The sentence was cut off by a choking sound as his throat tightened up at the idea of anything happening to Johanna.

" Hey, George. You know her. You know how fucking tough she is. Today's event won't be the one that stops her. Not even if she's injured. Don't even think about that as a possibility, because it isn't one. " He tried to reassure his friend, although he felt that it was almost useless. Without any real info about her condition, it's all up in the air and unstable. " The most important thing right now is for you to get there in one piece. You won't be of help if you fall apart. Her parents need you there. " He added with a sigh before saying goodbye and putting down the call so George can make the important ones towards Hana's friends and colleagues. It isn't easy but has to be done, as he knows her parents will be on their way to the hospital to be next to her, and won't be able to call everyone.

When he got to the airport, there was a ticket there already, waiting for him to pick up. It was a surprise, but a lovely one, as it saved him some time and stress before getting on the plane and starting his journey to Germany. He was sure he would have missed the first available flight if he had to buy it himself, but Hana's manager had the authority to get it for him in time. He made a note in his head to thank him for it when they met, as it wasn't something he had to do but decided to help George with it. As he had time on his hands, he tried to relax, although all the images in his head didn't let him sleep or anything. It was strange to see everyone so nonchalant about life while he was fearing for someone so much he was on the verge of throwing up the whole time. But he knew they were not horrible people, just that they didn't know what happened. They didn't have to know about everyone else's pain and life events. It was strange but completely normal.

As he knew he wouldn't be able to rest, he opened up his phone and went onto Twitter to see the news. Although there was nothing new on the tournament's page, Hana's team shared that she's on the way to hospital with injuries but nothing life threatening. It should have made him calm down, but as he thought how many small things can turn into huge problems, it didn't help. There were people, probably viewers and subscribers tweeting at him, sharing photos and thoughts with him, hoping Johanna is okay and healthy even though it was a nasty crash. The pictures of the wreck the car became, made all the good news unbelievable as he just couldn't understand how someone could get out of it without any injuries. He knew that her team wouldn't be lying and that they would have called him if there's anything he needs to know, but it was just all too much for his brain. He thought about putting out a tweet so everyone knew what was happening, but decided against it. Everyone knew already as they probably followed Hana's racing account and her team's one. He didn't need to put out everything and he didn't really feel like receiving even more messages than he already did. He knew they just wanted to let him know they were thinking about them, it wasn't good to see all of this 24/7. It was enough that he knew what was happening, he didn't need others to remind him every minute of the coming days.

' She's in theatre now, fractured leg and two broken ribs. They said she will need some days under anaesthesia to fully heal without the stress of the pain she will feel as soon as she wakes up. If everything goes as it should she will be out in an hour or so. We will get you a hotel room by the time you arrive, as our house is hours away from the hospital and I think we all want to be closer now. I'll send you the address of the hospital in a second. ' Came the awaited text from Martha, making him sigh out and save the address as soon as he got it, so he won't forget where he has to go after he arrives in the country. He remembered to send a message to the group, as they were people who deserved to know all the info. They were great friends of Hana and were probably pretty nervous about her state. They deserved to know.

It took him almost 20 hours to finally arrive and be able to get his baggage back. He first went to the hotel so he can put his stuff down before meeting up with Johanna's parents, so they can go to the hospital together. They had two rooms next to each other, so as soon as he had a shower and changed into fresh clothes, he went outside and knocked on their door.

" Hello! Are you okay? " He asked when the door opened, and he could see the worry on Martha's face.

" As much as you can be after something like this. " Martha let out a sigh, hugging George as he stepped closer. " They just called that she responded quite well to the medication. Her operated leg looks good too, although it was quite hard to fix in the surgeon's opinion. " She let go of him so they could leave for the hospital and finally really talk with the doctors that were part of the team caring for her.

" Is Andrew there already? " George asked while Michael locked up their door so they could head to the elevator.

" Yes. Theo wasn’t in need of medical care. Right after he was checked out by the doctor, they let him home. He and Andrew stayed. They wanted her to have someone while we were travelling here. " She nodded, pushing the first button inside, as it would take them down to the reception. " We got our car, so we won't have to call a taxi all the time. " She added, pulling out the keys from her purse, giving them to George as he was deemed the most put together to drive among the three of them.

" He was quite lucky if he's uninjured. " He let out a huff of air, feeling strange that while Hana was hurt, her co-driver walked away perfectly fine and without a scratch. Life took strange turns sometimes.

" Most of the damage was on Johanna's side. He's got a sore neck and back, but that's all. " She sighed, not saying more. She was probably blaming the navigator for her daughter's pain. In a situation like this no one could fault her for wanting someone to take the blame.

As they got down to the garage George opened up the car, and they all got inside. It was a 10 minutes long drive to the hospital and another 5 to find a parking spot not too far away from the entrance. Inside a nurse helped them find her room, but had to leave before they could ask any questions. She probably wouldn't have been able to answer them anyway, as she wasn't on her case. Although, looking at her and the huge cast on her leg answered most of their questions. She was asleep, as she was under anaesthesia to reduce the stress the pain would give her. At this point, George just hoped there wouldn't be any problems when they woke her up finally. They all knew that everything could change in 2-3 days, even though it looked perfect at the moment. Sitting down in the armchair he took out his phone to quickly text everyone, that they're finally at the hospital and in the room. He wanted to tell them more but could only type out that she looks okay, even though she was quite injured. Somehow the peace on her face made him calm down, even though he knew it was only from the drugs they gave her. It was nothing in connection with her being completely okay and perfectly healthy.

“ Family of Miss Braun, right? ” The german words made George turn towards the door, spotting a doctor who was the one taking care of Hana. Although his German wasn’t even close to perfect, he understood the question and nodded in synch with her parents. The following explanation of Johanna’s state was a bit too complicated for his basic knowledge, but George knew someone would eventually translate for him.

It took a minute or two before they told him that everything looked perfect on her charts, considering what her body went through. Although a relieved sigh left his body, everyone knew this wasn’t the end of the story. She will probably need rehabilitation after her leg heals, even if it’s a simple fracture and will heal easily. It didn’t help their worries that she was kept asleep for four days in the end, delaying the process and making them wait even longer before they got to talk to her. George hoped that with Hana awake they could get a bit more feedback for her treatment and also finally start the next part with physiotherapy. The sooner she got up and started moving around the easier it would be to get back to her previous physical fitness level. Everyone knew that laying around in a bed all day long didn’t help with staying fit and healthy.

George was in the middle of a meeting with the Williams engineers, sitting on his hotel bed, when he got the text that they would wake up Hana that day finally. Although he couldn’t just drop everything and leave for the hospital but made sure that their call finished as soon as possible, so he could get going. When he entered the hospital room she already had a bit more lively color but there was no sign of her being back to full consciousness yet. They were still inside the few hour window of the drugs finally working and didn’t really have to fear that something was going wrong. George was just sitting in the armchair next to the bed, legs pulled up and his fingers scrolling away on his phone while Hana’s mum was out for a coffee. Her dad couldn’t take off more time from work, but he was fine with the two of them looking after his daughter until he could visit in the late afternoons. The half-an-hour-checkups were slowly driving George crazy as the nurses never had answers, just took the data from the little screens and left with an understanding smile. It must have been between the 10th and 11th visit when they finally spotted a few movements, but it took another hour for her to finally open her eyes.

From the moment that she moved her arm for the first time George couldn’t get himself to sit back into the chair, rather opting for a walk down the hallway and then circling the room several times. Martha could only watch him pace but knew there weren’t any words that could help him calm down. They both knew they were finally getting closer to getting her back as much as they could in this moment of time, and it was nerve wracking to not have an exact time limit for it. It wasn’t surprising that he was the first one stepping next to hana’s bed when her eyes finally opened, with her mum arriving second. There were almost immediately several nurses and of course her main doctor stepping into the room, after being called through the installed button. While they tried not to overwhelm her they still had to run a few tests and George’s stomach turned at how scared Hana looked, before settling down at her mum’s gentle touch on her hand. They took their sweet time examining every little corner of her body and asking questions about her pain levels and just general state, leaving all of them tired from the stress and concentration when they finally finished everything up. There was only one nurse staying back to get some medication ready for Hana, when she could finally take a breather and look around the room. Seconds later her eyes finally reached George, and there was an evident smile getting onto her face.

“ Hello. ” Her voice was almost like music to his ears, after so many days of not being able to hear it, and George couldn’t help the relieved sigh that left his body.

“ Welcome back! ” He smiled down at her, squeezing her hand on the bed gently. He was still scared to use full force, after seeing how fragile the human body was actually. These were the few moments that made you realise you have no superpowers and that you’re not indestructible.

#george russell #george russell fanfiction #george russell fanfic #george russell ff #george russell oneshot #george russell imagine #george #russell #f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfiction #f1 fanfic #f1 ff #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #bydonaidk #not requested

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tbhwhocaresanymore · 3 years

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Nancy Drew 2x2

Me in my naïveté: surely, the Nancy Drew writers, the best writers the CW has on staff, have run out of ways to bring back past moments and episodes that seemed unimportant at the time.

ND writers: Bitch you thought?

Y’ALL

When I say tonight’s episode made me absolutely lose my actual goddamn mind that is not in any way an exaggeration. My brain physically pried itself out of my skull and ran away down the street.

Jesus Jedediah Christ the way they brought back those five people/ghosts who at the time seemed absolutely unimportant and sent me so entirely off my rocker if I even attempt to think about it for more than two seconds I’ll spontaneously combust so we’re going to have to work around it.

First off, no surprise: HANNAH GRUEN. My bae. My wife. Love of my life. You were only there for two minutes but they were exquisite.

Second I fucking KNEW that dude from the Marvin funeral episode was important. If you’ll recall from my review my theory at the time was that maybe HE killed Owen, but you know what this was so much better.

Okay, to business. At the beginning when Nancy is seeing all of the scratches on Douglas Marvin’s grave and then we zoom out to kind of see the Aglaeca in the side of the frame, and then zoom out more and it turns around and LOOKS at us doing that creepy little swaying thing? POETIC CINEMA. Riverdale wants what Nancy Drew has.

That “unfortunate first meeting” George had with Nick’s mom and her subsequent attempts to prove herself, culminating in Millie giving her the dumpling recipe? Adorable. Speaking of the mom, I do indeed hope we see more of her. Her and Nick’s moment at the end of the episode where he talked about seeing her cry in the courtroom absolutely broke my heart. I can’t handle the thought of him not at the very least having the occasional phone call with her from this point onwards.

To be entirely honest almost every scene with the mom broke my heart. When she was talking about how she and her husband raised Nick to always do everything right and lost him anyway? Hhhhhhhhhhhhh it hurts. The writers said they would be keeping BLM in mind while writing this season, like how they kept Me Too in mind for the first one, and I was a little worried it would be hamfisted. But if they continue as they did tonight it will be nothing but beautiful.

Guys. Guys. I know I said I had no idea how to talk about it but I have to talk about it. That scene in the orphanage. When they find the photo. And Nancy realizes she has seen all of those ghosts before.

GUYS.

EPISODE 3.

SINCE EPISODE THREE THE WRITERS HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS.

GODDAMN DO WE LOVE CONTINUITY AND FOLLOWING THROUGH ON PLOT LINES AND WRITERS WHO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY’RE DOING. I WANT TO FIND THE SHOWRUNNER AND KISS THEM ON THE MOUTH.

Ahem.

Anyway.

I thought Carson and Ace had some really nice moments this episode. i.e. “The guy at the store said it was a one man job.” “I think the guy at the store lied to you.” I am, however, curious if Nancy is going to ever bring her father in on the fact that supernatural beings exist and that she deals with them on the reg. Like I know he helped them out with the coma ritual with McGinnis (McGinnis come back 😭😭😭) but they never really brought it up with him again, and he’s been like kept out of the loop on it all ever since. I’m just wondering if he in fact actually knows and is just remarkably calm all the time, or if he’s in denial, or what. But tbh I do have a very strong amount of sympathy for Carson, and I really want him and Nancy to get back on good terms. At the end of the episode when she brought him the coffee and stuff I teared up a little. I’m an adult, I can admit it. Maybe it’s just because I’m such a massive fan of the books, where she and her dad were so close, but having them at odds especially after they started out that way, is painful.

Speaking of the books.

Fernwood orphanage. Hhhhhh writers I see what you did there. But for those of you who don’t know, in Nancy Drew #9 The Sign of the Twisted Candle, Nancy Bess and George stop at a roadside inn/bed and breakfast type place. At the inn is a 100 year old man named Ada Sydney who Nancy befriends, along with a young orphan waitress named Carol Wipple whom Ada has a soft spot for. The next day he dies, and turns out Carson is his lawyer and Nancy goes with him for the will reading. Long story short, Carol is apparently his granddaughter and he leaves her like EVERYTHING, but when she was young she grew up at, drumroll please!

FERNWOOD ORPHANAGE. I AM DECEASED.

And the Stratemeyer woods? For the same people, Stratemeyer Syndicate was the place that published all the Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys, Bobbsey Twins, Tom Swift books, etc. You will not be able to find them today however, as they were bought by Simon and Schuster in like 1987.

Back to the show.

When Detective Tamura (aka The Inferior McGinnis Who Can Rot In Hell) said the skeleton was Buddy and NOT KJ (AJ? I’m deaf) I got suspicious. And then as soon as they played the record and only five ghosts showed up, I was all ‘HOLY SHIT HE IS ALIVE’ and then he WAS. At the end of the episode, when they saw the flowers on the graves? You guys I was LOSING. MY MIND. And then the note saying “forgive me -kitsune” aaaaaaah. I am in fact afraid that he wants forgiveness because he sacrificed the others to save himself, but I am praying the writers do not do that to me.

I’m interested in finding out, assuming we meet KJ/AJ next episode, WHY the 1975 group reached out to the Aglaeca in the first place. Nancy and Crew did it because they needed Lucy Sable’s bones from 20 years ago to get Carson off the hook for murder, I am assuming these guys had at least as good a reason. And the Aglaeca herself. Dear god you guys. Odette Marvin. I’ve been saying and we’ve all known for a while, that she was wronged by the Marvin family. But Lordy that’s extreme. Listening to the overlaying recording? They low key abducted her, stole her fortune, her chaperone and the captain betrayed her, she was presumably bound hand and foot had her head shaved and got thrown into the ocean. I think I might be a little murderous too ngl. Although it begs the question, why exactly did Douglas Marvin have her painted into the hall of tragedies? I don’t think it was to gloat. Maybe Odette haunted him after the fact and added herself into the painting? But my favorite theory is that Odette as the Aglaeca started killing all the people who were in on it, her chaperone, the captain, etc., (I assume there were six) and Douglas saw the others dying and painted her into the portrait as a way to warn future generations of Marvins, rather than fess up to what he had done. I also want to know the deal with the first women to summon her, and the mirror? There is potential there I KNOW IT.

If you’re not a Drewson shipper feel free to skim this paragraph but guys Nick and Nancy are soulmates it’s confirmed. I’m not even kidding guys I was in no way shape or form prepared for the amount of Nick x Nancy content I got tonight. When Nick is at her house and they mention how they skipped friendship the first time around? “We skipped a lot of things the first time around.” DEAD. And then later at the Claw, when Nancy and not George came to comfort him post fight with the mother? And then he saw that look Nancy gets where her eyes flit around cause her mind is working overtime? *chef’s kiss* My prediction is they will spend this season building up a strong, solid, foundational Nancy x Nick friendship and then when they give the romance a second go they will be so. much. stronger. I’m guessing season 3 will be spent in a bit of a complicated love triangle with Nick and Nancy (re)developing feelings for each other while still having them for George and Ace, making the eventual payoff all the more delightful.

I close this review - which was admittedly less of a review and more of me shrieking incoherently - off with a plea to the writers.

*eyes turn black*

WHERE IS DEAD LUCY

WRITERS

WHERE IS SHE

IT HAS BEEN ALMOST A YEAR. FOR TEN MONTHS NOW I HAVE GONE WITHOUT HER. SHE HAS BEEN GONE SINCE EPISODE 16. NO SCREAMING. NO CREEPY CRAWLING. NOTHING. WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER. BRING HER TO ME.

*shakes self* Glad to get that out of my system. See you all next week for 2x3, The Secret of the Solitary Scribe.

#Nancy Drew cw #Nancy Drew #Bess Marvin #George Fan #Ned Nick Nickerson #Ned Nickerson #Ace #Carson Drew #Hannah Gruen #Lucy Sable #Dead Lucy #Lucy wasn't in the episode but she's in my heart #the reunion of lost souls #Drewson #Nick x Nancy

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hilarieburtonmorgan · 3 years

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Ten Years Later, the One Tree Hill Cast Is Setting the Record Straight

Ten years after the finale of One Tree Hill, the actors Hilarie Burton Morgan, Sophia Bush, and Bethany Joy Lenz have never been closer. Despite their shared experience growing up on screen, the trio— who played Peyton Sawyer, Brooke Davis, and Haley James in the heartland-set high school soap for nine seasons—were kept largely isolated from one another during those years.

That distance began to dissipate with age, and when the #MeToo movement alerted the actors to some of their common experiences while working on One Tree Hill. In their new weekly iHeartRadio podcast Drama Queens, the three actors unpack the moments—nostalgic and traumatic alike—that unfolded behind the scenes of the wildly popular drama. To celebrate the podcast’s success, Burton Morgan, Bush, and Lenz joined us for a bit of reminiscing. —BRIAN ALESSANDRO

———

HILARIE BURTON MORGAN: Sophia, you were the person that called me about a podcast. What was the catalyst for you to be like, “It’s time”?

SOPHIA BUSH: When we first finished the show, I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to touch it. I didn’t want to be close to it. And then as time went on, and we all started being able to get together, and share stories, and talk some shit. We all finally told each other the stories we’d been afraid to share — I wish we’d been able to have the friendships we have now back then! — and hearing everyone’s stories really made me so furious. It lit that fire in me, and I thought “well, we just have to burn it down.” But, I also had to remember how much our fans love the show, and to realize that despite so much that was insidious we also had fun. We’ve shared stories about what was painful and hard, and I think especially because of what you were put through, I wanted to call you first and just say, like, “Does this idea feel triggering?” You said “No, this feels quite cool.”

BURTON MORGAN: What was your first reaction, Joy?

BETHANY JOY LENZ: I was definitely hesitant about more One Tree Hill anything. But the more we talked about it, I was like, “Wow, this is actually a chance for redemption.” Also, I don’t want to throw shade on the show that did give us amazing opportunities. I always try to temper my frustrations with a good bit of gratitude. But as for the bad stuff, I really do love the opportunity to redeem that. Some of it was us being young and stubborn twenty-year-olds, but a lot of it was the people around us who were using our youth and naïveté to keep us from arguing back. It was always, “Joy, you’re the odd man out. Sophia, you’re the odd man out. Hilarie, you’re the odd man out.” So we never reached out to each other. I’m incredibly grateful for the relationship I with you amazing women now.

BURTON MORGAN: I left the show first, and it was the divorce of my life, because I’d committed so much to being the good soldier. “I’ll do whatever press you want. I’ll go on whatever mall tour.” And so, the loss of that was traumatic. But the next relationship I got into professionally was with White Collar, and the best person I could have ever encountered was Tiffani Thiessen, who was an icon to me. She told me right out of the gate, “Don’t bad mouth the show that got you started. Defend your character, forget the bad guys, take what’s good.” That was such great advice. She was someone whose opinion meant something to me, because she’d been a teen idol of mine. Who were some women on TV that that you felt like we were trying to emulate while we were doing the show?

LENZ: I don’t think I ever really knew how to process it. I actually feel like I missed a lot of the excitement because I kept asking myself what it all meant.

BURTON MORGAN: I was the opposite! I like experience. But I made terrible choices.

BUSH: I’m with Joy. Now, I over intellectualize everything because back then, I was always soaking up all the experiences and I got my ass handed to me. So now I’m like, “What does it mean? What is it all?”

BURTON MORGAN: How many years out are we now? Like 17 years out from the first year?

LENZ: I don’t even know how to process that.

BURTON MORGAN: 18 years out? Jesus, we could have children in college at this point. Why do you think people still care?

LENZ: Comfort food. I mean, that’s it, like especially now that there’s so much content. I can only speak from my experience, but when I settle in to watch TV, I will spend 20 minutes scrolling before saying, “You know what, fuck it,” and turning on Frasier. And that’s what I watch because I know those characters, and I just want that familiarity. I honestly think the over-saturation has played a huge role in our fans’ need for One Tree Hill.

BUSH: And I would also say that there is something about how — as outlandish it got at times — there was also a lot that felt honest. People write to us about how they feel seen, how they feel represented, how they see their own struggles in our show. When I meet new people who are just discovering it and I think, “You could be watching anything! Why? Thank you?”

BURTON MORGAN: Honestly, having an older kid, and seeing the things that he’s drawn to, he loves watching TV shows from our era. Probably the same reason I loved watching Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie and What’s Happening – it’s retro. They’re mystified by it because there’s no social media on our show and so people are actually talking to each other. You actually had to show up at Karen’s Cafe to have that important conversation. It’s a wish fulfillment for these younger kids where they’re like, “Oh, my life doesn’t look anything like that.” We are the time warp, which is super fucked up.

LENZ: And we were also the last show that was doing, dare I say, wholesome content? I mean I know our show, like, jumped the shark several times in many regards, but in terms of the“hometown kids, middle of America, just dealing with regular emotions and life stuff,” those shows became very rare. Everything that came after us was like rich kids—Gossip Girl and The OC, and then it was all brought to a high-concept place like the Vampire Diaries, Riverdale stuff. And I don’t know that there’s anything out there that’s kind of gotten back to the roots, like One Tree Hill.

BURTON MORGAN: Can you imagine pitching One Tree Hill now? Like, “it’s about some kids. Two of them play basketball, and the rest are just moody.”

BURTON MORGAN: What episodes are we all excited to review the most? Some of them are cringey as hell.

BUSH: I’m sure a lot of them will be.

BURTON MORGAN: I like the Halloween episode we did at Tric [the “all-ages” nightclub]. That was batshit. It was 1000 degrees in there and everyone was dying and miserable and we’re dressed up like cartoons.

LENZ: I know. The one with the car, where they made me fucking siphon off gas.

BURTON MORGAN: That was fun cause that was really the first time the three of us were put together.

BUSH: Having to pretend to be high on pills when I never had been, I was like, “I’ll try!” Hilarie, your wedding episode was…

BURTON MORGAN: Christ.

BUSH: That was such a shit show, man. You said the Halloween episode — you’ll cackle when you see we did a Halloween episode after you were gone. And I had to be dressed up as one half of A Clockwork Orange, but was abandoned in my costume, and I was written to be dressed as a giant orange and Carol (Cutshall, costumer) papier-mached a workout ball and drilled armholes in it, and I had to wear it. AND I directed that episode!

BURTON MORGAN: That’s perfect! That’s a chef’s kiss.

BUSH: I had little T-Rex arms, being like, “well, if you go over there” – And they’d say “Where?” And I’d be like, “I can’t show you! I’m stuck in an orange!” It was, it was so humiliating. But when I think back on it, great comedic fodder.

BURTON MORGAN: What is your favorite keepsake from the show?

LENZ: I have the Julius Caesar book that Haley gives to Lucas in the pilot.

BURTON MORGAN: I have the leather jacket that Peyton takes after Ellie [Sheryl Lee] dies. That was an intense crying scene for me. My body has a physical reaction to that jacket.

LENZ: What’s yours, Soph?

BUSH: I have, like, a bin.

BURTON MORGAN: You have everything!

BUSH: There’s like this sad episode where Brooke celebrates her birthday alone in her room with a cupcake. I have the photo album from that scene, which is very sweet because it’s all photos of you and I, Hilarie…

BURTON MORGAN: You have that?

BUSH: Oh yeah, I took that immediately. There are real pictures of us from growing up, because it was this story of these friends who grew up together…

BURTON MORGAN: Joy, we’re gonna photoshop you in.

BUSH: Honestly, we should just make a new one. Of all the stuff that feels sentimental, that “Brooke Davis for President” pin kills me. It’s up on the wall in my office, because it makes me laugh. When I think about why that’s the one thing I’ve displayed—next to a photo of the three of us— it’s because it symbolized something that at the time really embarrassed me, but now I respect. Brooke Davis took the thing she was made fun of for, and turned it into an anthem. She was this bad bitch who owned her shit. That’s something I’ve tried to emulate.

BURTON MORGAN: One thing that I keep thinking is, “we deserve this.”

LENZ: Because we do! It’s hard to say that as women, I think.

BURTON MORGAN: What makes you two feel like we deserve this?

LENZ: Because we’ve worked our asses off, and because it’s beautiful to experience friendship with each other in a way that we were robbed of in our younger days.

BURTON MORGAN: We were really good girls. I’m excited to set things straight.

#hilarie burton #sophia bush #bethany joy lenz #drama queens oth #one tree hill #interview #2021

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shattersstar · 4 years

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i love you and we’re inventing a new way to hold hands

pairing: Jason Todd x Reader

excerpt: You smiled, you always smiled at him when no one else did. You let your hand fall over his, slowly pushing him off, knees tucking underneath your body as you leaned forward, a hand falling on his chest, nose nudging his and you were so close Jason almost had to go cross eyed to look at you. You let out a breathy laugh, fingers curling into his shirt before you kissed him.

warnings: canon typical violence, fluff, good communication™️

a/n: teehee a little break from requests because @dukethmas commented “i love you and we’re inventing a new way to hold hands” on this fic and i thought it was very pretty and resonated something deep in me so i thought i’d write something for zohra. It’s mostly a thank u for all ur wonderful comments i could be having the worst day or be tired of writing then u sweep in and just say the sweetest and point out such great things and it makes me love writing so thank u ily

—

He knew he loved you, it was one of the only things he was sure of. It wasn’t as jarring as he expected it to be, everyone in books and movies were jolted by love—shot by arrows or struck with realization or the words shouted so clearly in their direction—it was meant to catch you off guard. But for him, it crept through his apartment door, nestled on his couch and hung around during movie nights or study sessions, danced through the air when you’d sing purposely loud in the shower and sat on the counter in the kitchen when you bickered over breakfast about coffee or almonds or sleeping in socks of whatever.

So when you kissed him, hard—daring even—the love that had moved into his life was still there and it only smiled. Just like you, smiling wide when he kissed you back, fingers curling into his shirt, wrinkling it even more as he grasped your waist. He never wanted to stop kissing you—that thought was a bit more jarring, but he also hadn’t expected to kiss you, ever. Jason hadn’t really expected to kiss anyone in truth, he wasn’t good at romance, he didn’t even try to be. Sure he could flirt until his tongue fell off, and often shot far more than kind smiles to strangers when out, but romance, love, dating? That was a pipe dream, something he’d ignore in the early mornings when he’d return from patrol battered and bruised and still so fucking broken.

Then you showed up and maybe it was more than a dream. It was a goal. You treated love like that, something to be worked at, achieved, and worked at until your fingers bled and tears stained your cheeks. “Everything is a work in progress.” You’d mutter, half asleep and oddly philosophical at four in the morning. He laughed when you first said in, cheek pressed against his broad chest, the vibrations were warm and made you smile as you blinked up at him, half dazed and eyes glassy. He smiled down at you, nose nudging your forehead, eyes unable to stop themselves from dropping to your sleepy grin before you pressed yourself back against him. You were curled up on the couch, legs tucked underneath you while he sat next to you, Jeopardy muted as you dozed. He watched the show in silence, listening to the shift in your breathing, although it only lasted a few minutes as you head lulled forward unexpectedly, startling you both and waking you up out of your nap.

“Jesus Christ—“ You huffed, as you came to, once again making Jason laugh. You both didn’t comment on the way his hands jumped, ready to catch or hold or whatever, you before falling against his thighs.

“Enjoy your nap?” He teased as you shifted away, palm digging into your eye.

“Shut up. How long did I—“

“Few minutes.”

“I’m probably gonna go home then, I think if I fall asleep here again I won’t like—get up.” You shrugged, swinging your feet to the ground when a hand shot out, resting on your knee.

Jason hadn’t thought before doing, and he was acutely aware of the way his fingers flexed when your eyes dropped to his hand, gripping the fabric of your jeans, fingers long and cold.

He was always cold, even if you never asked you knew why, why he tensed when your shoulders bumped and you’d shudder, or how holding your hand was never an option because of how you’d shiver—arm prickling in goosebumps. You didn’t blame him, why would you, but you knew he didn’t like this odd quirk of his, didn’t like to address, notice it, have it happen. So you ignored it with him.

Until now, until you shuddered for different reasons.

“As comfy as your couch is—“

“No.” He breathed, your eyes moving from his hand to his face, uncertainty hung in your expression.

“No?”

“You can sleep in my bed. With me.”

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

You smiled, you always smiled at him when no one else did. You let your hand fall over his, slowly pushing him off, knees tucking underneath your body as you leaned forward, a hand falling on his chest, nose nudging his and you were so close Jason almost had to go cross eyed to look at you. You let out a breathy laugh, fingers curling into his shirt before you kissed him. He often revisited this moment, when he’d be out of the city, even when it was just a long night and he missed you. Missed you looking at him with so much adoration, letting your lips meet and not flinching away when his hands found your sides, pressing into the soft curves when you let his tongue explore your mouth, both of you pulling away, chests rising and falling visibly. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

And you did, you slept in his bedroom almost every night, even when he moved, the safe house you were used too suddenly a little less safe. You didn’t really move in though, he knew that was never really an option. You couldn’t not have a place to go when you argued or be responsible for it all if he died on patrol, and you needed your apartment so you could put photos of him. He didn’t like them, he never liked looking at himself—he always looked so off.

He was too thin as a kid, even as Robin he was all skin and bone, arms a little too long and hair an unruly mess of curls. Then he came back, tall and broad, but now his hair was streaked in white and his eyes weren’t brown anymore. They were a vivid green, another effect from the pit and he hated them. You had seen photos of him as a kid, the difference was quite stark, the deep auburn they once were now replaced with a gemstone sort of green, sharp and intense. Sometimes you wondered if his eyes were still brown, if they’d bore into your soul the way they do now. You once suggested contacts, the most you ever dared to touch upon the subject, you earned a half scoff, half laugh and shrugged it off.

Although, it was hard to hate his eyes when he got to look at you like this, sleeping in a chair beside his bed as the morning rolled over. It was still blue—everything; the sky, the clouds, the light streaming in, the rain hitting the pavement, the sadness in the air. He had come home half dead and your tears were blue too. Your arms were folded on his mattress, head turned and resting on them. He shifted, recognizing the space as Leslie’s clinic, your blood stained jacket tossed on the small table, his gear next to it. He let his head fall into the pillows, a long breath pushing past his lips. You weren’t ever supposed to see him like this, weren’t supposed to deal with these parts of his life, the parts he kept hidden and stored away, stacking atop of shoulders.

“Jay?” He hadn’t realized he closed his eyes, until they blinked open to find you staring back at him, expectant and so fucking scared.

Suddenly, it was hard to appreciate his sight, appreciate your face.

And still, because you’re you and you’re so good compared to him, you smile. Bright and warm—too warm for this blue morning.

“Are you okay?” You both asked, a moment of silence falling afterwards as you let out a sharp exhale.

“Of course I’m fine.” You dismissed, and he couldn’t help, but knit his brows, jaw clenching because there is nothing of course about this. The words slipped from his mouth, still too drugged out and exhausted to stop himself.

“This isn’t—you’re not supposed to have to deal with this. Its ‘posed to be hidden.”

“Jason, everything with you is hidden.” You sighed, carefully climbing onto the bed, head resting on his good shoulder. You kept your arms tucked close, willing yourself to not reach out and pull him into your embrace—scared to hurt him and scared to let your words die in the air. “And it’s fine, we aren’t exactly living normal lives, and you’re still allowed normal things. You’re allowed to be closed off or secretive or touchy about subjects, that’s all fine. It’s when they start getting too much is when its not and I think they’ve been too much for a while.” You explained, voice wavering and quieter than you planned. He closed his eyes again, love sitting at the edge of the bed and waiting with you. He wanted to kick it out—you out, wanted to push you away and let himself be cold and avoid his reflection because you’re not smiling over his shoulder as he stood in front of the sink anymore, but he couldn’t. Couldn’t bring himself to hurt you, or himself anymore because maybe deep down he knew he didn’t deserve it. Didn’t deserve to live a life where he pushed your kindness and patience away.

“You don’t have to say anything, now or ever, but you also aren’t alone Jay. I love you and I’m not going anywhere.” You confessed, lips meeting his bare shoulder, noting the way he tensed. Now love was in your throat and on your tongue and he didn’t know how to say it back, how to love you like you wanted—needed, but god, he’d try until his lungs heaved and blood poured from his body. So he looked down at you, a crooked grin tugging at his lips as he carefully shifted, turning into you and bringing a hand to your face, ignoring the way his hurt shoulder hissed in pain.

And he knew the words would get choked up in his throat, so he found the love you stored in your mouth, in your hands, in your eyes, in yours voice, in your care, in everything about you and filled it up with his kisses. Lips meeting slow and heavy, breathing you in and tasting you. Jason knew this wouldn’t be easy, his life wasn’t meant to be, but he did know he was meant to be with you.

And it wasn’t jarring.

It settled into his bones and stayed with him—always.

#i hope you like it ahh #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #dc x reader #dc imagine #writing #dont disturb the ghost of queue

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homestuck-headcanonymous · 3 years

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dinosaurs eating people (they didn’t get to say goodbye)

a/n: this is a whole lot of angst. tw for suicide.

the moment of silence after you die, dave strider thinks, must be the loneliest moment in the world. dread has always been woven into his bones, his blood, polluting every second he had- but not like this. nothing was like this.

he remembers the day they pulled apart from the alpha timeline like it was yesterday- maybe it was. he does not know when or where or what he is in this strange too-dark-to-be-darkness, and maybe he is nothing at all. It was the littlest thing- a gear was fixed from where it had broken, something to do with a door mechanism nobody ever used- and then it was gone. shattered. like a dead butterfly’s wings in the palm of a child’s hand grasping too tight. it *hurt*, almost, the knowledge of it- like a recoil from the shotgun bro had tried to teach him to use, the one that was stuffed inside of the hall closet in the apartment he hadn’t seen in years. terezi and rose felt it too, he could tell. he’d never seen grief-and-guilt-and-pain and pure, exhausted, aching resignation mix on his sister’s face like that, and it almost made his chest tighten and sting all over again as he saw her feel the string holding them to a future draw taut and snap back on her, like the lash of a too-tight violin string breaking.

it was so quiet that day. it felt wrong, but what could he do? it was grief, in a way, but it never felt like it. it felt like the second after you drop something important on the ground and it shatters. the moment you realize that you have done something irreparable. karkat came into his room that night while he stared at the ceiling. the scent of sopor was thick around him, and he didn’t have to say why. dave knew. he understood. after all, if you’re doomed, why not try and do whatever you can to ease that pain? karkat’s shoulders were shaking, and his expression was softened and blurred with tears as red as the stained glass window of the cathedral he saw once on a bus ride. it was a portrait of jesus on the cross, bloodied and red but still resolute, still willing to die for the future of those around him. dave held karkat that night, but neither of them slept very much. karkat still smelled like home to dave, underneath the saccharine-sticky scent of slime, and when he dozed off in the irregular moments of what he thought would have been almost dawn, he thought christ was a fitting metaphor for karkat. born to die, in a way, but to save others. who was this saving? in a moment of bravery, he left the lightest of feather-soft kisses on karkat’s forehead. the troll didn’t stir from his fitful slumber. he could never understand, dave thought, what karkat was going through, but it could have never been easy.

it was so easy to fall in love like that- the space when there is nothing but you and those you care about. karkat woke late the next morning, messy-haired and sleepy-eyed in the soft light of the alchemized fairy lights, and dave strider wished that he could take a million photos, just to see the scene forever, because karkat vantas was the most beautiful sight in all of time and space like that.

“thank you, dave. for letting me stay. you know. last night. i...i think i just needed to not be alone for a little bit.”

his voice is bleary and soft, and it feels like soft rain during a houston summer. dave could listen forever.

“and i know that you’ll just say that it wasn’t a big deal, or that it was nothing, or that it didn’t matter, but it did. it meant a lot to me. so...thanks. i’m.. glad you’re here.”

karkat’s hand is cupping his cheek now, soft and gentle and so warm that he wants to lean into it like a cat being pet, and it is the kindest way anyone had ever touched him. he realizes that his shades are off, set aside to sleep. he realizes that he doesn’t care.

when dave strider kisses karkat vantas for the first time, it is knowing that the world has ended, and seeing the wild, bright unknown of whatever comes after. neither of them quite knows how, and it is awkward and new, and utterly, wonderfully, perfect.

dave’s never considered himself a romantic, but maybe, he thinks, one day, that could be changing. he knows karkat loves that stuff, and when he tries to set up a picnic for the two of them in a room without much in it, the alternian fruit salad bites him, and the candles are smoky and burn stutteringly, but seeing the way karkat’s eyes light up the room and his quiet laugh of gentle disbelief makes his heart melt in relieved affection.

dave strider is completely, utterly, head over heels in love, and he knows it.

here, now, in this space of nothing he is becoming, he wished that he had said it a million times.

they never talked about it, that much. the world ending. everything ending. *them* ending. dave wishes that they would have. it just hurt too much, in the late nights when he thought of it, karkat’s head rested on his chest and neither of them sleeping. it burned too much, to gaze into the blazing sun and face it. he knew that they were out of time, but somehow, he always thought they’d get just a little longer.

the day he died was a little like that. rose stayed in her room alone, that morning. he heard kanaya knocking at her door softly, and he saw the wine-red blood and the blood-red wine spilling across the metal floor when kanaya entered, soaking into the rug that rose had spent weeks crocheting, the colours of lavenders and sunshine and stormy skies in soft woolen doily-patterns. he heard quiet whispers of “no no no no please no” filling his ears and it was only as he fell to his knees, his sister’s blood smudging his face, that he realized that they were coming from him. kanaya was curling into herself shaking like a leaf in the breeze, and dave wanted to too. it was like a gnawing hollowness, the denial of something right in front of you, of watching a chunk of your sliced-off heart bleed to empty on the ground. it was the beginning of the end. or maybe it was the end of it. when he saw karkat coming out of the winding hall where terezi’s room was, teal soaking his skin up to the elbows, he knew too. the instant dave touched karkat’s shoulder, all the comfort he could think to give, it was like the troll shattered, falling to the ground.

“’rezi...i..i tried so hard to save her....but i was too late....the blood....there was so much blood...”

dave doesn’t know what to say, really. what to do. how do you comfort someone when the world is ending? he drops to his knees and wraps his arms around karkat’s shoulders, as though he can hold him tight enough to turn back time. he wishes he could. just to stay like this for a few more moments.

they hold each other like that for a while. neither of them have the energy to spare for tears, but they grieve together. it is quiet. and for a moment, it feels like someday, everything will be okay. when dave looks out the window, he sees the collision course they follow. cleanup for heroes doomed to die. he knows that there will not be a someday. not for them. when he goes back up to rose’s room to invite kanaya down for coffee of a late breakfast, or anything to not make her stay alone, the door is just ajar, and her sewing kit- the one she always kept in her pocket, the one she loved so much- with the ivy-patterned canvas and the vintage scissors and the tiny little star sketchbook for design ideas- is strewn across the hall, pins and needles and spools of thread scattered and thrown everywhere. the scissors are gone- he remembers, distantly, how they had been a present to her from rose- how he’d walk out of his room in the middle of the night and find her still trying to alchemize what she wanted. how relieved rose had looked behind her tired eyes on kanaya’s wriggling day party, when her eyes lit up at the delicate embroidery scissors, with their little brass handles carved like lace with tiny roses. it had been a happy day. a few months before the split. he does not need to look, now, to know where the scissors have gone. he notices the jade-green blood, half-iridescent, soaking into his shoe far too late, and it makes him feel sick to his stomach.

dave goes back to his room. he grabs one of the jugs of bleach from the cleaning supplies cabinet they never really ended up using. idly, he wonders what they could have used all the time they wasted on them for. how many days could he have spent with the people he loved? what could have happened in those days falling from the timeline? he wants to hit something with the injustice of it all, punch and kick and scream and cry, because how could he have been so stupid? to have wasted the hours he doesn’t get anymore because he lost them?

it’s his turn, now. he knows it.

karkat is waiting inside his room, the quilt kanaya made for him as a christmas present reddened and damp where his tears have fallen. in a moment, karkat wraps his arms around dave’s neck, clinging onto him. dave wraps his arms around him too, and buries his head in karkat’s shoulder. he still smells like home to dave, and it makes dave feel like his chest is collapsing in on itself, concaved to less than a hollow space. the jug of bleach is set on the ground for a moment. it is not forgotten.

karkat sees it when he lets go. dave knows he knows in a split second.

“dave, you...this is some sick joke, right? some sick fucking joke? you can’t be..not you too, right?”

karkat sounds desperate, devastated- and dave strider has never hated himself for doing something more in his life.

but he still cannot stay.

he steels himself with the same determination, the same icy chill he was raised to have. a strider man hurts people for their own good, a million times those words were blazed into his ears while he lay bloody on a rooftop ringing again.

“go away, vantas. i need to do this. it doesn’t concern you.”

he sounds like *him*- like bro- and it almost makes dave flinch back on instinct- reach for a sword and glance around and brace for the impact of a sword against his skin.

karkat’s eyes are filling with tears again, and the impact of it hurts more than any strife ever could have.

“doesn’t *concern* me? dave, what the fuck are you talking about? i *love* you! you don’t need to do this. please,- god, just....*please*, don’t leave me alone here. please, don’t leave me *alone*.”

dave freezes for a second. karkat stares back. the last card has been played. it is a second too long.

“god, y’know what! *fine*!! i guess i *can’t* fucking stop you! because *apparently* wanting the guy you thought was your fucking *soulmate* to not spend his last fucking moments alive with you chugging off-brand human clorox is an unreasonable fucking request! maybe....maybe you just didn’t give as much of a shit about me as i did about you! maybe i was a braindead fucking dumbass to think that you ever even loved me enough to give a shit about what i think!!”

karkat slams the door behind him when he leaves. dave slides to the ground, his back against it. he can hear karkat crying, now- his momentary desperate anger flickered out to nothing but loss and loneliness. dave’s guilt feels almost physical, now- like hot wax melted onto his skin that won’t let go. his hands are shaking. he realizes that his shades have fallen off, and that he must have stepped on them without noticing. one lens is cracked, the other shattered- the frame is twisted beyond repair. the jug is heavy- but not too much. his arms shaking, he slowly lifts it to his mouth. time is running out.

in the end, dave strider doesn’t need to kill himself. in the moment the bleach touches his tongue, searing it, the meteor crashes into another, shattering apart. the impact kills them all. there are no survivors. there is nobody left to remember them.

and now, dave strider is here. there is nothing. it is dark. *he* is nothing. the last thought he has before all he was is no more is that he just wishes that the people he loved did not die thinking that they were alone. that karkat did not die thinking he was alone. that he could have gotten just one last chance to say goodbye. it is what he has been thinking all along. it never comes true.

#angst #davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #rosemary #rose lalonde #kanaya maryam #terezi pyrope #suicide tw #death tw

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mjvnivsbrvtvs · 3 years

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[dont reb/og obvs] last week was my grandfather's (on my mom's side) death anniversary, and how it's just. so many more people died this year in my family, it's hard to keep track of it all.

there's a whole group of people I won't get to talk to the next time I go to the philippines. they're all gone. on my bookshelf is a little jar filled with the coffee candy that my grandfather used to give me. he died back when I was 8 or 9. I never got a chance to talk to him or my grandmother in their own language, it took me too long to learn anything.

sometimes I think about how medical neglect probably killed my grandmother, all for the greed of my mom's siblings. I can't shake the feeling that I brought the bad luck with me that year by wearing all black on the airplane flight over. am I superstitious? maybe. I wasn't back then, I wanted to wear all black. I haven't done that since. I try to wear at least one other color somewhere on my body now. my uncle told me when we were driving to the barangay that she had been asking when we would get there, she was so excited to see my mom again, and that she passed away when our plane was over the ocean.

last week, my cousins and one of my uncles went to visit my grandfather/grandmother's tomb, and in the background of one of the photos, I could see a tomb where the family hadn't been able to afford a nice plaque so they wrote down the birth/death dates in chalk. it feels so unimaginably lonely, and yet those idiot neighbors where I live still tell asians to go back to where they came from. man. what kind of fucked up world are they living in where that’s the pressing matter in their awful lives. life is short! do something better with your time! jesus christ.

#i should make a personal post tag or something but i'm just kind of :/#thinking about people who braided my hair as a child who won't ever be able to do that again #thinking about that one cousin i see just a little too much of myself in and how he probably killed himself even though #no one wants to talk about that and instead just wants to call it an accident #long post #suicide ment #death cw

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star-whores-a-new-hoe · 4 years

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Fast Friend//Obi Wan X Reader

Forever series:Part Two

Summary: As you get to know Obi Wan better the situation takes a twist.(Jesus Christ! Thanks for all the support on the last fic! I plan for this to be at least ten parts btw)

word count:1600

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Like three cuss words, Typos.

You laid on the soft sheets, eyes still closed. You could feel the early morning light shining through the window and warming your skin. You kept replaying the events of yesterday in your mind, still unable to believe them. I’m not really on another planet. You thought. When I open my eyes I’ll be in my room at home. You took a deep breath and opened your eyes. You were still in the strange blue bedroom. You groaned and rolled over, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. This is fucking insane. There was a quick knock on the door. Hugging your pillow tighter, you wondered if you should just pretend that you're asleep so you wouldn’t have to deal with crazy space stuff. It’s probably Obi Wan you thought. you got to your feet and shuffled over to the door. When You opened you immediately jumped back in shock at the creature that stood before you. “Jesus Christ!” You shouted.

“Please do not be alarmed.” The robotic creature said in a monotone voice. “I am medical droid 2-1B, I have come to complete your medical examination.” You calmed down slightly when you remembered that the Window guy had mentioned a medical droid. You nodded and moved out of the doorway for the droid to come through. “Um, yeah come on in.” *** Obi wan watched the city grow smaller through the glass elevator doors as he rode up to the apartment. Early that morning, when he had deemed it safe to leave you, he had left to go consult the only person he felt like he could about this matter. Anakin. “This is quite an unusual situation master but I doubt it’s anything that you and the other Jedi masters can’t handle.” Anakin said. “Yes, I agree yet...” he paused and stroked his beard, as if in deep thought. “There is something very different about y/n.” He recalled locking eyes with you last night. The sense of calm and connection that had washed over him was like nothing he had ever experienced. The elevator reached its destination and Obi Wan walked briskly to the apartment doors. he knocked but there was no answer. He tried again. Nothing. His thoughts immediately turned to danger. He had only left the apartment briefly and had been checking surveillance very diligently. Obi Wan was aware that Windu had sent a medical droid for the examination but besides that, The chances that someone had gotten in the apartment without his knowledge were very slim. His shoulders tense, He unsheathed his lightsaber and slowly opened the door so as to not be heard. When he entered the grand blue living area of the apartment. He could hear the faint sound of your voice coming from the bedroom along with the soft strumming of an instrument. Hearing no panic in your voice or any sound of violence, he put away his lightsaber and walked towards the bedroom. When he reached the doorway, He stood there in utter confusion at the sight before him. You sat on the bed next to the medical droid who was holding your ukulele while you directed it. You looked up when you heard Obi Wan’s footsteps and grinned at him. “Hi!” Obi Wan leaned against the door frame, crossing his arms in front of him. “Di- did you try to teach a droid to play an instrument?” You sat up proudly. “I didn’t try to teach a droid ukulele, I did.” You turned your attention to the droid. “Show him what I taught ya.”both you and Obi Wan watched as the droid strummed a few chords. You took the ukulele back from the droid. “Not bad for a robot with three fingers and a siringe.” Obi Wan looked at you with pure astonishment “Well, that’s a first.” Gently, you laid the instrument down on the bed and stood up. “Did the droid complete the medical examination?” You walked over to where Obi Wan stood and leaned against the opposite door frame, mimicking Obi Wan’s pose. “Yeah like thirty minutes ago, I got bored so I showed him some stuff on the uke.” Obi Wan noticed that your eyes were red and puffy. From lack of sleep or crying he did not know which and frankly, he was too afraid to ask. He nodded. “How long have you been playing that?” “For a good while, I teach kids to play at my local music store on the weekends. Thats where I was walking home from when... this all happened.”

You felt your chest tighten as you talked about home.The thought that you might never get back home had been haunting you, and it was truly terrifing. You leaned your head against the door frame. “You play any kind of space instrument?”

Obi Wan let out a short laugh. “I’m afraid I don’t have time for such hobbies, I have however worked with young ones.”

“Really?”

Obi Wan explained to you what a padawan was, He told you about Anakin and his experience training him.

“Man that Anakin sounds like he was quite the handful.” You laughed

“Ohh believe me, he still is.” He smiled fondly, remembering Anakin as a youngling. “I am lucky enough to help out with the younglings in the jedi temple from time to time. It's very rewarding to see them grow into such fine jedi.”

“Yeah, I have a few kids that i’ve taught since they were like five. It’s really awesome to see how they’ve grown up, how their music taste and skill has changed and stuff.” You stopped for a moment, not sure how to phrase your question. “You know, I was thinking last night, how can I understand you? Like, you’re not speaking English right, it’s some kind of space language so why can I understand you?”

Obi Wan sighed. “There is a lot to this situation that we don’t yet understand young one.”

You turned and walked out into the sitting room. “Any news on the book?” You said plopping down on the couch.

Obi Wan followed and sat down across from you. “We have several dedicated jedi working on it, but we can not decipher the language, I don’t suppose you can?”

You shook your head. “I glanced at it but didn't recognize it.” There was an award pause.

“Might I ask,” Obi Wan said tentatively. “What is Earth like?”

You opened your mouth to say something and then shut it again. “Hold up.” You jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom. A moment later you came back out holding a small silver rectangle in your hand.

“This is an iPhone.” You sat down next to Obi Wan. “Your entire social status on Earth revolves around whether you have the newest one or not.” Obi Wan could not tell if you were being sarcastic or not.

Turning on the phone, You scrolled through some of your photos. When you finally found what you were looking for, You handed the phone to Obi Wan. “This is my house.” You said referring to the picture that you had pulled up.

soon enough, the sound of conversation filled the beautiful apartment. The two of you talked into the late afternoon, sharing experiences and stories. Obi Wan listened intently as you told him of your life back home, your hobbies, and the stuff you did with friends.

He told you about his training as a padawan and the dumb shit Anakin would do. He even told you about Qui Got Jin but it was clear to you from the sad look in his eyes that his late master was a touchy subject.

You watched the jedi smile at some stupid joke you made. Maybe being stuck in this space place won’t be so bad if I'm with this guy. You thought to yourself.

Obi Wan sighed and stood up. “I’m afraid that I must be going. I have business in the jedi temple that I must attend to.”

You stood up as well. “Of corse.”

“If you need anything you know how to contact me or the droids.” He paused and looked at you thoughtfully for a moment. “Y/n, I understand that this is probably very difficult for you, and if it makes you feel better, I feel that you are handling this remarkably well.”

You beamed at him. “Thanks, that means a lot.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow young one.” He said turning to leave.

“Oh one more question!” Obi Wan turned to you, cocking and eyebrow waiting for you to continue. “Why do you keep calling me young one?”

“He shifted his weight, trying to think of how to answer. “Well, I suppose it’s a term of endearment. And well, You are a tad bit younger.”

“Giving him a sly smirk you said, “Hmm, kinky.” You turned and walked into the bedroom. “See ya!” You called over your shoulder.

Obi Wan could feel a slight blush creeping up the back of his neck. “Umm, yes.” He quickly spun around on his heel and left.

On his way to the temple, Obi Wan thought to himself, If I’m not careful, I could end up getting very close to her.

***

Obi Wan strode into the jedi council chambers where Masters Windu and Yoda stood waiting for him, the expression on their faces grim.

He came to a halt in front of them. “Is there something the matter Masters?” Without a word, Windu took a data pad out and passed it to Obi Wan.

“The medical results from Y/N’s examination have arrived.”

Obi Wan examined it thoroughly. Everything seemed to be in order, that was until his eyes fell on your midichlorian count.

#obi wan x reader #obi wan kenobi #obi wan fic #star wars #star wars fic #star wars x reader

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castielsangel-blade · 3 years

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So it's taken me a bit of time to get my thoughts in order on the finale and, of course, I did not like it. In fact, it left me with more questions than answers and not in good way that stories sometimes do. This was just... not good.

Below, I'm going to list some reasons why I didn't enjoy it. But, as an aside, if you did like it, then I'm glad! I'm happy you're not hurting about it!

So, the episode starts off kinda, y'know, happy-ish. It's a little uneasy because we have no idea where it's going, or what they're gonna do. Sam's on his run, Dean's waking up, and Miracle jumps on his bed. It's nice. But they only show the brothers, which leads me to my first reason.

1. Eileen isn't there. In fact, no one is.

Eileen was Sam's established love interest, so, surely, we should see her or at least hear her mentioned considering she got dusted off-screen in the previous episode. And Sam's a very caring person, he would definitely go check up on her but we got nothing. No mentioned in passing, no picture in his room, no glance at his phone screen to see a message from her. Just... nothing.

After they're all ready for their day, Sam sits across Dean and Miracle in the library and asks if he found anything. It turns out to be a pie festival or some shit and that shows us that Dean wasn't even looking for a hunt. He was just surfing the 'net while he petted Miracle (I love that damn dog) affectionately. So, they go to the pie thingy and this next part, Dean got a lot of crap for but I honestly get it.

When Sam said he thought about and missed Jack and Cas and Dean replied with that he did too, but then "brushed it off", I honestly think that was on par with his character. Dean this past season (and all seasons, but especially this one) had really grown. He would talk about things bothering him to an extent. In my opinion, mostly to Cas. Sure, he'd eventually tell Sam but usually after some huge fight but it just came naturally with Cas. And it's because it's just easier to talk to your friends and let them see you in a "weak" moment than with your family—especially when said family is someone you've protected for a majority of your life. I think that was definitely in character (although my headcanon is that Dean cries late at night when it's just him and only Miracle is there to comfort him).

So next, a case just falls into their lap and they soon discover that it's a hunt John never completed. And here's my next reason.

2. John was said to be one of the best hunters, but he didn't know that was a vamp nest.

Look, it just doesn't make any sense. Sure, they wore masks and did some other weird shit to throw hunters off the trail, but the most prominent sign points to vampires! Sam got it in one, so, really, what the hell?

So they go and find the nest pretty easily and it's a simple MOTW ep. And the boys have fought some major Big Bad's in their day, so run-of-the-mills vamps should be pretty easy, right? Apparently not, which leads me into my third reason.

3. The actual vampire didn't even kill Dean their usual way. Didn't turn him, didn't rip out the throat or anything like that. In fact, the vampire simply got lucky.

Sure, you could argue that their plot armor was gone, but that's not fair. The Winchester Brothers are amazing hunters and they do know how to actually fight. That wasn't Chuck, at least, not all of it. The vampire did just get lucky and that's the devastating part. Dean didn't go out in some huge, end of the world battle. He went out with a stab to the back (one could argue that that's the network stabbing his character in the back and I'd honestly agree). Dean died terrified. Which leads me into my next reason and also an opinion that I haven't seen anyone else share.

4. Sam could've healed him or gotten him help.

I don't knock Sam for this. Dean was genuinely frightened. But this brings me to my opinion. So, Dean, as we all know, has spent his entire life thinking he's not good enough, that he's meant to die bloody, he's just a soldier, a grunt, that he doesn't matter, not the way Sam does. I feel like Dean was aware that Sam could've helped him pretty quickly considering the fact that Sam was a witch trained under Rowena, and he chose to let himself die at that moment. He figured this was the way he was always gonna go and since he doesn't have to worry about another big bad coming onto the board, I think he felt that it was time to stop cheating Death—it always ended messy. Sure, I do truly think he wanted to live his life (more on that later), but I think in this moment, he actually wanted to die. He'd lost Cas, and Jack was in the wind and dust and rain and whatever the fuck else. All he had was his brother and Miracle and Sam could take care of himself now along with Miracle. In that moment, that's all he could think about.

5. No one else attended Dean's funeral.

Maybe Sam didn't tell anyone so he could just mourn alone, but there's no way, had anyone else known, that they would let Sam be alone after losing the only biological family member he had left. That just doesn't make any sense. It certainly wouldn't have gone over well with Jody and Donna; they'd at least show support for Sam. But Claire, Alex, Patience, Krissy even???? Garth, Bess, and the kids??? Or every hunter in the US of A seeing as, despite causing a lot of the bad shit in the show, they did clean everything up and saved/helped a lot of people. Out of respect, surely they'd show up.

6. From the official looking document sitting on Dean's desk that we see as Sam's mourning, Dean was looking into a job.

This is important because it means that he was getting ready to retire (also why he wasn't looking for any hunts). He wanted to live his life for Cas and everyone they lost, so their sacrifices weren't in vain (and he died anyways, jesus christ).

So after that brief time alone, Sam packs up everything and Miracle and they leave the bunker. This next reason is kinda stupid, but it really did hit me hard.

7. No one knows all that history is down there. And if they do, no one can get to it.

Sam had to have locked it up so all that knowledge didn't fall into the wrong hands. You could argue that he told his son about it, seeing as his son does have an anti-posession tattoo, but we don't know. All we know is what we were shown, which is Sam had a son named Dean and he played catch with him, helped him with his homework, told him something about the supernatural (hence the tattoo) and that's it. We get nothing else.

8. Sam spends the rest of his life with a blurry, unimportant wife (see family photos in which she's featured in absolutely none of them), and mourning the death of the brother, one of his close friends, and his son.

Now people can argue that Sam wasn't a father figure to Jack (or more like an uncle), but he definitely was. Cas, Dean, and Sam were all parental figures to Jack, that's the story. That aside, Sam had this air of sadness around him because we weren't given much else with Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son playing, so we don't know if he ever truly healed even a little. It honestly looks like he didn't. Like, at all.

9. Cas is apparently alive, but he didn't go meet the brothers or meet Dean in Heaven which is OOC as fuck

We're all assuming that the time skip in between ep 19 and 20 is a week, right? Because they stay pretty even with the flow so it's not so confusing. And it was about two weeks since Cas died in 18th episode and a week since Jack became the new god. Dean got there and it was already all reconstructed, so it must not have taken that long, so why didn't Cas, who considered the brothers his family, not go see them back on Earth? Maybe there were terms and he had to stay with Jack to mentor him or something but we don't know. They give us absolutely nothing to go on. And even if he couldn't leave Heaven or something, he must've known that Dean was there, so why didn't he meet him in there. He could have but we don't know. They just said fuck it all and ended the episode before we really got any damn answers.

10. Why did two different versions of Carry On Wayward Son play back to back?

It didn't seem to really go with the flow of anything and it was honestly kinda weird. Seriously. I get that the original was a peppier and that when we see Dean driving and Sam growing older. And it switches to the slower version as Sam is on his premature deathbed and then it stops when the brothers reunite. It was just... odd. All I could focus on was that during the ending.

11. Bobby must've sat there for like 5 seconds if Dean just drove down the road and Sam was already dead.

This one is also not a big deal but I thought it just didn't make sense. Time goes differently. And it wasn't even that long that Dean was in Heaven and Sam was already there. So, like, Bobby must've just gotten a beer and sat down when Dean turned up and he was like "shit, boy. Don't you know how to quit dyin'?!" because, honestly, I would have.

This are all of my big reasons right off the bat. There are more deeper reasons, but this is it for now. I really hope any of this made sense. But, like I said before I started this list, if you liked it, cool! I'm not in the business of telling people how they should feel about certain things. I just wanted to share some reasons why I didn't like it.

#supernatural #spn #15x20 #15x20 thoughts #dean #Sam #Eileen #Castiel

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jessikahathaway · 4 years

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Owner Part V

Holy shit this is still a series? You bet your sweet ass it is. I told you guys that I would be continuing Owner and I did promise some of you that it would be soon. That was a long time ago so now it’s back! Please enjoy.

I DON’T OWN THE PHOTO. IF YOU ARE THE ORIGINAL OWNER OF THE PHOTO PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO I CAN REMOVE IT IF NECESSARY.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook X Reader

Genre: Romance, Hybrid!AU, Slight Action (Based loosely off the J-Drama Kimi Wa Petto)

Warnings: Threats made over the phone, other than that not much. If I missed anything please let me know!

Word Count: 2,619 (sorry it’s short)

Watch yourself? What the fuck did that mean? Who was ballsy enough to threaten you with that kind of talk? Just as you were about to call the number in haste, your phone was taken from your grasp. You whirled around to see Jungkook looking at the device, growing worryingly pale by the second.

“Jungkook, what is it? What’s wrong?” you asked, coming up behind him to touch his back. He flinched at the contact, something that made your stomach drop to the floor.

“How can they be following me...? I lost them... How could they have found me, again...”

Jungkook was staring at your screen with such pain and agony it made you want to cry again. You slowly reached out and took the phone from his hands, wrapping your palms in his.

“You need to tell me what’s going on. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me everything,” you said, looking him in the eyes. Jungkook worried his bottom lip and looked at you with fear and exhaustion.

“Okay, but can we make ramen for dinner?”

—

You both sat at the table, ramen sitting untouched in front of you both.

“Jungkook, who’s phone number is that?” you asked first.

“I don’t know exactly who, but the message they sent is clear. They’re coming to get me, and I made trouble for you...”

You shook your head. “No, Jungkook. You didn’t make trouble for me, if anything, you’re helping me out with trouble... Not making it for me. So, who are the people that sent the message?”

“Hybrid Hunters... Ever since I escaped from the hostels, adoption centers, wherever they managed to trap me that time, these hunters would find me and bring me back. They’d torture me for weeks before they said they’d found me... The wounds would be explained away and yet another price tag would be put on my head. Y/N, they are brutal, and only want money. If anyone puts a wrench in between them and their money, they wind up dead... I’m the big prize they want, and you’re the wrench. I can’t allow you to get hurt.”

“Who said anything about allowance?” you spoke up. “Jungkook, believe me when I say I can handle myself. I’m not worried about a stupid text message. I’m more concerned about you right now. Today I thought you were deathly sick, and now you’re stressing yourself out. This kind of pressure can send you right back to where you were this morning.”

Jungkook shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “Y/N, you don’t understand. These people can and will kill to get whatever they want. If what they want is me... then let them have me,” he whispered.

You scoffed. “No way in hell is anyone putting their hands on you if I have anything to say about it,” you announced. Jungkook huffed and poked at his ramen, looking at the noodles as if they held all the answers he needed.

“Y/N, I like being here with you,” he whispered, looking at the table with sadness in his features.

“Jungkook, I like you being here too... You make my life much more interesting to say the least,” you soothed, trying to avoid the inevitable.

“Because I like it so much, I’m going to have to leave,” he said quietly. Your throat closed up.

Leave? Was he being serious.

“Jungkook, don’t be rash. You’re stressed and exhausted. Eat a little bit and then we’ll talk more about this tomorrow-”

“Y/N they killed my family. So many people that I’ve surrounded myself with have died. I can’t let you share that fate,” he breathed, water sinking into his tone.

“Then you shouldn’t have agreed to be my boyfriend,” you whispered, taking his hand gingerly. “You still have a promise to keep. Like hell I’m letting you go back on it,” you stated firmly. Jungkook sighed and finally took a bite of his cold ramen.

“I really can’t-”

“Sleep with me,” you blurted out. Jungkook’s chopsticks fell onto the table as he coughed on his ramen. You clambered up and smacked him on the back to help with his choking. To which he swatted you away, claiming you were hitting him too hard.

After he calmed down a bit and you were seated, Jungkook looked at you with astonishment. “You want me to sleep with you?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You said you get lonely at night and I was thinking what if mom came in early in the morning and saw you sleeping in the guest bedroom and how weird that would be for a couple-”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Y/N you gave me a damn heart attack,” he said, holding his chest.

“What? What did I do?” you asked.

“I thought you meant sleep with you like the getting naked and doing the do,” he said, rubbing his forehead.

“What? Ew, no,” you said, scrunching your nose up.

“Excuse me? Ew? Have you not seen how deathly attractive I am?”

“I’m waiting for the side effect to kick in, and so far I’m disappointed,” you narked. Jungkook gave an appalled look before slurping more ramen into his mouth.

“I’d like to sleep with you though,” he said softly, chewing his food with vigor. You gave a little smirk and sipped your tea.

“I bet you would.”

“Oh shut up!”

—

As you showered you heard Jungkook ruffling in your bedsheets. The guy couldn’t be still if his life depended on it.

You stepped out onto your bath mat, drying your feet and then wrapping a towel around yourself. You dried yourself off and gathered your clothes. Slipping on your pajama top and shorts you threw your old clothes in the hamper and headed out to your bedroom.

Jungkook was laying on top of your sheets, looking out the window with a neutral expression.

He looked handsome like this, hair ruffled as he sprawled out in the bed. You smiled before climbing in next to him. Jungkook immediately brought you close to his body. Warmth suffused through you like lava, making a blush rise to your cheeks. Jungkook seemed not to notice as he buried himself in your hair.

“Mmm, you smell good,” he said, sniffling and moving deeper into your hair.

“Get away from me you dog,” Jungkook made a sound of displeasure.

“Excuse me, that’s rude,” he said, lifting his head from yours and giving a sour look.

“But it’s half true,” you sang, laying down and turning your back to the man.

“You’re such a boob,” he complained, pulling at the covers before lying down again.

“Shut up and go to bed,” you said, snuggling into your pillow gently. He must’ve gotten the message because soon there was silence, and Jungkook quit fidgeting.

Thinking back to the message and everything Jungkook had told you made you want to run to the police. But if they knew you had an unregistered hybrid in your home the two of you would be in trouble. Jungkook more so than you. No doubt they’d take him back and put him up for sale again. Just the thought of losing Jungkook made your heart skip a beat.

Everything he’d done for you goes up in smoke if the two of you got caught.

That meant that you’d have to deal with that threatening message on your own.

Maybe you could go get Jungkook registered to be your own hybrid... But if he belonged to someone else prior he’d be sent back to them. No doubt getting hurt in the process.

It seemed as though everything you thought about backfired on you.

What were you going to do?

Jungkook shifted in his sleep and your eyes went to him immediately. His soft hair illuminated by the moonlight. His skin alight in the pale glow as well. You smiled and reached out, brushing his hair off his face and brushing against his ear in the process. A little whine escaped from him as you did so, causing you to jump back from the touch.

“Mmm... Y/N,” he mumbled, turning over and capturing you in his embrace. You yelped at the sudden move from him, but he was asleep... Him burrowing into your hair only proved your point.

Letting it slide you wrapped your arms around his neck, cradling his head close to your body.

“I won’t let anything happen to you Jungkook. Ever.”

—

The next morning you woke up hot. Like, hotter than the sun hot.

You looked down to see Jungkook’s body molded to yours. And he was boiling.

Worried, you felt his forehead and shock ran through you at how hot he really was. Turning him over on his back you saw his flushed appearance. Pale, wet skin greeted you as you got closer to him.

“Jungkook? Jungkook are you alright?” You asked, shaking him slightly.

A groan erupted from the man, making you jolt slightly.

“Y/N,” he moaned out, reaching for you again.

“Jungkook I’m right here,” you said, taking his hand.

Soon, you were flush against his boiling skin, his grip firm as he held onto you.

“Hey!” You yelped, pushing against his chest.

“Y/N,” he groaned out again, making you worry even more.

“Jungkook let go,” you said, easing his hands off of you.

“Y/N, hurts,” he whimpered, holding onto his stomach.

“What hurts Jungkook? Where?”

Suddenly, Jungkook’s eyes were wide open as he took in his surroundings.

“Y/N?” He asked, looking at you with confusion.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you said, eyebrows furrowed with stress.

“W-What am I. Oh, that’s right, we slept together didn’t we?”

Hearing Jungkook say it so casually made your cheeks flush in embarrassment. “Yeah, we did. But I barely slept thanks to your wiggling. And your incessant groping, honestly even in your sleep you can’t keep your hands to yourself,” you joked.

Although, Jungkook seemed a little more concerned than you thought.

“I what? I shouldn’t... I-I need to take a shower,” he said quickly, jumping up and out of bed before you could get two words out otherwise.

“Jungkook hang on-“

SLAM

The door shut and you were left alone in the room.

The sound of the water turning on made you sigh in resignation. There was something going on with him, and he wouldn’t tell you what it was. If he’s sick and he needs to see someone, damn the consequences his life is more important than a little facade.

You went out to the kitchen to make breakfast, deciding that scrambled eggs and toast would have to do until you went grocery shopping again.

Cooking gave you something to think about other than the fact that Jungkook was acting strangely. And about that damned text message.

All you had to focus on was the eggs cooking in front of you.

The smell of them...

Burning...

Burning?!

“Oh shit fuck!”

You quickly turned the stove off and fanned at the eggs, hoping that maybe in some world they’d be alright to eat. Apparently that world was not this one because they were toast. Done for.

“Aw man,” you whined, looking down at the last three eggs in your hand. You knew you’d give them to Jungkook and only have toast yourself for breakfast.

Whatever, the man ate like a black hole anyways. Might as well cook enough for him to eat well. Plus, he wasn’t acting like his usual self anyways, maybe he’s not been eating enough.

Your decision made you started cooking again, making sure to keep your eyes on the eggs and not letting them burn this time. After a while you had the eggs completed and the toast all set and ready to go on the table.

It had been about thirty minutes and Jungkook still wasn’t out of the shower yet. Perhaps he was just taking a longer shower than usual. Really sudsing it up or something, you don’t know.

But just as you were about to go and check your phone rang.

Looking down at the number it was disguised as unknown.

Hesitating only briefly you picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Miss Y/N, how pleasant to hear your voice,” a cool tone came over the phone.

“May I ask who’s calling?”

“I think you already know who it is my dear,” the voice said, chilling you to the bone.

“What do you want?” You asked, fear turning into anger.

“Oh, my dear Miss Y/N, you know exactly what we want. And we are going to get him whether you play nice or not. Now, here’s what I’m offering to you,” he said, completely calm.

“Whatever it is you can shove it, I’m not giving Jungkook to you,” you snarled, not understanding the possessive nature coming out of you.

“Oh ho ho, Miss Y/N, let’s not be rash. See, we have our eyes set on a certain someone should you not agree to cooperate,” he announced.

“Please I barely have anyone left, don’t,” you plead.

“Miss Y/N, we aren’t heathens. We won’t do anything unless absolutely necessary. Unless you leave us no choice,” he warned.

“Please, let me keep him. I-I’ll pay you,” you winced, knowing that you couldn’t afford him.

“I know it must be hard, you see that particular hybrid can be very charming. But believe me Miss Y/N, he’s nothing but trouble,” the voice stated.

“Jungkook is everything but trouble I assure you, please I-I...” you trailed off. What could you possibly offer them other than money. Money you didn’t have. Sure you were well off, but Jungkook was no doubt worth millions. Just looking at him alone, you knew that to be true.

“We’re giving you two weeks, Miss Y/N, two weeks before you decide,” he said, the dial tone hitting your ears soon after.

You felt sick.

These people were hunting Jungkook and you were now caught up in the mix. But, this is Jungkook you’re talking about. Goofy, love able Jungkook. The one who was helping you...

Surely he couldn’t be in any trouble...

Well, more than he’s told you anyways.

But a thud from the bathroom snapped you out of your thoughts.

Dropping everything you ran to the bathroom, knocking on the door quickly.

“Jungkook! Jungkook are you alright in there? Say something!”

“Y/N,” a broken voice called from the other side of the door.

“Jungkook? What’s wrong?!” You asked, panic starting to rise in your chest.

“Please, help,” he whimpered.

Before you could even think of the decency of the situation, you barged in to find Jungkook, curled up in the bottom of the shower. Holding his stomach as if he’d been injured.

“Jungkook,” you whispered, coming closer and turning the water off.

“Y/N,” he panted, shivering when you got close.

“Jungkook, you need to tell me what’s going on. I want to help you but I can’t if I’m left in the dark about everything,” you said, brushing his hair away from his face, much like you’d done in the night.

“I-It’s heat, I’m going into heat,” he said, panting softly against your hand.

“What?” You asked, looking at him as if he had two heads.

“H-Heat, I-I’m... I need...” he whispered so softly you could barely hear him.

“Jungkook you’re not making any sense, what is a heat? Like when animals go into heat? That kind of a thing?”

“Y-Yes,” he croaked, “so much as happened I didn’t think it was possible anymore but. I-I’ve been with you for so long I-I can’t help it,” he whimpered.

“Oh Jungkook, how do I? What do I do?”

“Please, have sex with me...”

#Jeon Jungkook #Jungkook #BTS #BTS fanfiction #Jungkook X Reader #Jessika Hathaway Owner #Jessika Hathaway #Owner #BTS Hybrid Fanfiction #Future smut #Jungkook fanfiction #Jungkook smut #Smut

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avaantares · 4 years

Text

Imma rant for a minute. (This is me being critical of a thing, so if you’re eschewing negativity right now, feel free to scroll on past.) :)

Sooooo I took a break from replaying FFVII:R tonight (last night, by the time this posts) to watch the stream of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Love Never Dies, a show I already knew to be terrible (but hey, you can't argue with free musicals, right?). Long before the musical opened, I’d read The Phantom of Manhattan, the book it’s based on, and that was... like... Hmm. Think of a bad fanfiction you've read. I mean a really bad one, one that gets every single character wrong, has the stupidest of stupid fiction tropes, includes ridiculously contrived scenarios to kill off characters and weird medical "science" and historical inaccuracies and a totally implausible plot, all mashed together just to reinforce someone's OTP which was kind of an unhealthy relationship to begin with and got considerably more unhealthy in this story, AND it includes a lengthy author’s note in which the writer bashes the author of the original work his story is based on and explains everything that author did wrong and how it should have been written, using examples from the fic writer’s own work to demonstrate.*

Then picture that as a $24.99 hardback.

So I knew the general story already, and I'd seen a couple of clips from the stage show, and from what I remembered it was all pretty forgettable. But like I said, free to watch, right? Nothing to lose but a couple of hours.

Oh. My. Goodness. I was not prepared for the full experience. It's like Phantom of the Opera and Cats had a (secret) baby that got shoved in a blender with all of circa-2004 Fanfiction.net and then pasted back together by a YA fiction editor’s intern. Despite a truly exceptional cast and some strong visual and set design, it wavered between cringe-y and I’m-going-to-hurt-myself-laughing levels of bad.

Mind you, it’s still better than the book, in which (SPOILER ALERT if anyone cares, which you probably don’t because if you’re the type of fan who would, you’ve probably already seen the show) Christine’s son is not the byproduct of a willing affair she had with Erik after she became disillusioned with her marriage, but was conceived after he kidnapped her at the Opera House, and... let’s just say consent was dubious, at best. (IIRC she was “half swooning” and not entirely aware of what was happening.) Also there’s some nonsense about Raoul being impotent from a war wound and never having consummated their marriage... But broadly speaking, the story is the same as the musical -- by which I mean it completely negates everything good and symbolic and meaningful about ALW’s Phantom of the Opera, to which the book was as much a sequel as it was to the original Gaston Leroux novella.

Love Never Dies fails as a sequel for a number of reasons: Every character you liked in the original? Assassinated. Raoul, who was willing to sacrifice his life for Christine in POTO, is now an abusive, alcoholic wastrel who has gambled his family into crippling debt. Christine cheats on her husband with a guy who has made a habit of kidnapping and threatening her, and who has actually murdered a number of people. Meg, Christine’s dearest friend and confidante, is now a washed-up burlesque dancer who -- again, SPOILER ALERT -- tries to kill first Christine’s son, then herself, then finally succeeds in killing Christine. The broadest take-home message of POTO, that kindness and love can heal even the deepest wounds, is undercut by these dramatic character reversals. Even the show’s title anthem “Love Never Dies” is contradicted by the love triangle at the center of the plot. Maybe love never dies, but that doesn’t stop Christine from cheating on her husband, Raoul from walking out on his wife and son, Erik from threatening to kill Christine’s child if she doesn’t do what he wants, Meg from betraying and murdering her best friend... yeah, let’s not take relationship advice from this group.

But beyond that, LND is just bad structurally. The Phantom’s opening number builds up to be a “Music of the Night”-style anthem -- a dubious choice, since it makes everything he sings for the next half an act feel flat by comparison. Then we go into a surreal Coney Island segment for a while, then a bunch of really awkward dialogue exposition gets crammed in, and then twenty minutes into the show we finally meet Christine and her family, which kicks off the actual plot. The pacing is uneven. The tone is all over the map, too, bouncing between Phantom-like operatic ballads and Jesus Christ Superstar-esque carnival rock numbers. (All of which, I have to say, the Melbourne cast knocked out of the park. The vocal performances were definitely not a weak spot in this production.)

While I really like a lot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's stuff -- I've seen a number of his shows on stage, some of them three or four times -- his titles seem to be hit-or-miss. For every Phantom, there's a Whistle Down the Wind. Some of that isn't his fault; a mediocre lyricist or book writer can do a lot of damage, even with good music. This musical had two lyricists and four writers, and it shows. But IMO, this is also not Lloyd Webber’s best work. Apart from the title song, which I’ve heard often enough to know it outside of the show, I can recall the melodies of... two songs? The score isn’t bad, it’s just not as instantly memorable as Sunset Boulevard or Joseph or Phantom. And a weak story plus average music doesn’t equal a great show.

I’m sure I’ve complained more than anyone cares to read, but I have one final rant about something that caused me to startle my dog by making some very screechy noises: When Christine arrives by ship, the Phantom sends a horseless carriage to pick her up at the pier. Mind you, this scene is specifically stated to take place in New York in 1905. The crowd of onlookers is utterly SHOCKED by a vehicle that moves by itself. “There are no horses!” someone exclaims. "How does it work?"

Apparently all four of the credited writers slept through history class, and also couldn’t be bothered to Google a photo of New York at the turn of the century. Automobiles have been around since the 1880s, and by 1905, New York had so many cars on the streets that the New York Supreme Court had to hand down a ruling guaranteeing that horse-drawn transportation still had the same right-of-way as motorized vehicles, because the motorists didn’t want to share the road. Heck, my own great-grandfather owned a car by 1895! Glaring, easily-avoided errors like this jar me so far out of the story -- even good stories, which this one wasn’t -- that they actually bother me more than other, more significant failings. At least do your basic research, people. Use Google. Grrr.

Anyway, I’m just rambling now because I can’t sleep and I'm on prescription narcotics for pain and my dog is tired of listening to me grumble. Don’t mind me; I’m not actually this negative in real life. 😅

----------------------------------------------------

* I am not exaggerating. In the foreword, author Frederick Forsyth bashes Gaston Leroux and gives examples from his own works to explain how Le Fantôme de l'Opéra could have been written better. Like. DUDE. NO.

That book went straight into the donation box the moment I was done reading it. When Love Never Dies came out, I briefly regretted getting rid of it, but then I remembered how bad the story was and stopped feeling bad.

#Love Never Dies #andrew lloyd webber #phantom of the opera #musicals #Review #insomnia writes #long post

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labyrinthofloving · 4 years

Text

----Look After Me----

CHAPTER TWO:

Recap----“Listen to me,” he demands softly, “this is not your fault, you hear me? The only person to blame here is Zach, he made a choice. He made the wrong choice because he hurt you, but he made that choice. None of this is your fault, you did nothing wrong, this is all on him.” he comforts as he pulls (Y/N) into his chest and shares another pointed look with Grayson, who’s still making efforts to control his temper.

When he’s finally able to think past his anger, Grayson pulls (Y/N)’s legs onto his lap and exhales loudly as he begins to speak, “We love you so much, (Y/N). I’m so sorry that he did this to you, no one deserves this and especially not you. We’re gonna make sure you’re okay, this isn’t what will break you. You’re so strong, you’re going to be okay, we’ll make sure of it.”

Following Grayson’s words, the three of them sit there in silence just holding each other until they all fall asleep on the couch. (Y/N) curled into Ethan’s chest with her legs sprawled across Gray’s lap, surrounding her in a blanket of support as they drifted to sleep.

They were all peacefully asleep until the next morning when Kyle burst in screaming, “Does someone feel like telling me why the fuck I just got a call saying the car’s been towed?”

After waking up, they decide to let Kyle and Grayson deal with getting the car back, agreeing to talk about everything with Kyle after the vehicle is back in their possession. They were all afraid that if Kyle knew what had happened before they got the car back, the drive home wouldn’t have been safe. So, that left Ethan and (Y/N) alone back at the house.

“You feeling any better?” asks Ethan as they sit in the lounge chairs in the backyard.

“Not really, I can’t believe Zach had the car towed. I mean, I guess with everything thats happened it shouldn’t surprise me. I just feel like I let everyone down.” she says shifting her attention to her fidgeting hands. “You all told me that he wasn’t good for me, but I didn’t listen. I really thought he was the one or whatever.”

“I mean I won’t lie to you, it was frustrating to watch you with someone who was so clearly not good enough for you. But we all just want you to be happy because all of us love you.”

“I love you guys too.” she responded.

Little did she know that Ethan had wanted to say so much more to her. He wanted to tell her that he was IN love with her. That he was confused she didn’t seem to understand something that was so unbelievably clear to him, that they could be great together. But he knew that now wasn’t the time for them. He wanted her to choose him because she wants him, not because she’s hurting and needs someone.

With that, they got up and headed back inside to start making some food for when Kyle and Grayson returned. Settling on some of the new vegan mac and cheese that the twins had recently discovered. (Y/N) made Ethan sit on the counter and watch, he’s already been so helpful to her and she just wanted to be able to show that she appreciates him.

“Anything you want to do today?” asks E.

“Honestly? I’m kinda fucking exhausted. I think I may want to take a nap later.”

“I think that’s something we can make happen.”

“How have you been lately, I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.” (Y/N) says trying to reach the bowls for the mac and cheese.

“I’ve been pretty good. I’m really excited for the project we’re about to start filming. I feel like it’s going to be different than anything we’ve done before.” Ethan says getting up to help her reach the bowls on the top shelf.

As he reached over her she could feel his front pressed against her, and smell the cologne that she had always loved when he wore. This wasn’t necisarily out of the norm for them, everyone in their close knit group had always been physically affectionate. But somehow, it had always meant something a little more to (Y/N) when it was Ethan being physically affectionate. She never thought about it though, because anyone who knows (Y/N) knows that she’s loyal as fuck. A ride or die for anyone she lets into her life and into her heart. She’s pissed that Zach betrayed that.

“Anything you guys film is fucking amazing, you guys deserve all the love and I’m ready for the people to enjoy the shit out of everything you guys pour your hearts in,” (Y/N) said as she scooped some of the mac and cheese into the bowl.

“Thank you (Y/N), but on the real note, I’m excited as hell for you. I mean you have two new big deals you are close to making and like holy shit you’re a CEO. You help the merch shop and Wakeheart and now you are expanding and it makes me so proud of you,” Ethan said as he sat down in one of the yellow chairs at the dining room table.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, E.” She said with a smile as she sat down in the yellow chair next to him.

“Crash and Burn,” Ethan said with a snicker.

“Yeah right,” She chuckled as she brought the spoon of (Vegan) Mac and Cheese to her mouth and ate it.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS BOMB AS FUCK, PUT THIS SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW ETHAN,” (Y/N) exclaimed as she scooped more of the (Vegan) Mac and Cheese on her spoon.

“Jesus Christ (Y/N), calm your ass down, I’m going to eat the damn mac and cheese,” he said and stook the spoon in his mouth.

“Holy fuck! You were right, this is the best shit I’ve had in awhile,” Ethan moaned as he pulled the spoon out of his mouth.

“I told you so,” (Y/N) said as she continued to eat.

As they were sitting and enjoying their food and making small talk, the door alarm went off signaling that Kyle and Grayson had come back from retrieving the towed car.

“Can we talk about what the hell is going on now?” Kyle asked abrasively and (Y/N) looked down at her hands again nervously. The carefree mood she was in with Ethan vanishing in an instant.

“I went over to Zach’s house and found him having sex with his assistant on the counter in the kitchen. I came here after because it was closer and I didn’t feel okay to drive, so I guess Zach had my car towed.”

Kyle’s mouth dropped open. “He did WHAT?”

“I said he-”

“I know what the fuck you just said. I’m gonna kill him. I’m going to expose him for being the piece of shit that he is, and then I’m going to kill him. He can’t do that to you. Who the fuck does he think he is? He can’t just do that!” Kyle fumed.

“Well he did. I’m honestly so tired of talking about it, I just want to ignore that it happened for a little bit. I just want to feel like it’s okay, just for a second just let me pretend that it’s okay.” (Y/N) said tearing up.

As Kyle saw his sister’s eyes filling with tears he walked towards her, arms spread wide as she stood up from her chair. She ran towards him and collapsed into his grasp, letting him soothe her in a way only he could.

“I’m sorry. I’m just really emotional right now and I don’t mean to take it out on you. I just don’t want it to hurt like this anymore.” She sniffles into her big brother’s chest and looks up at him through wide and tearful eyes.

“You don’t have to be sorry, I’m the one that should be sorry, I just hate seeing you hurt, I love you more than words can describe, you’re my baby sister, my job is to protect you and seeing you hurt, kills me. I promise you that you will get through this, I know you, you’re stronger than I’ll ever be,” Kyle said carding his fingers through her hair as she buries her face in the crook of her neck.

“I love you Mufasa,” she said as she laid her head on his chest. She let out a small yawn from the exhaustion that she felt from her emotions.

“Do you want to go lay down and rest for a while? And then after we can go out and buy a shit ton of deserts and watch Lion King on the projector?” Kyle said, stroking her hair soothingly. (Y/N) nodded, not wanting to speak at all at the moment.

“You can crash in my bed so that it's more comfortable than the couch,” Ethan said.

She just followed Ethan to his bedroom and laid down on his bed, burying herself within his comforter. His blankets and pillows smelled just like him and it added a sense of comfort as she slowly began to drift off to sleep. Ethan smiled slightly at the beautiful girl that laid in his bed and turned the bedroom lights off and left the door slightly cracked so that he would be able to hear her just in case anything were to happen. He took a deep breath before walking back to the living room where Grayson and Kyle sat. The tension in the household had died down for the sake of (Y/N). In reality, Kyle and the twins were beyond pissed. Zach had abused her. Not physically but mentally, and had exploited her for the success of her company to boost his own ego and channel. They pushed down the anger for (Y/N) as they knew she was hurting and them getting angry just made her more upset.

Grayson had turned on some videos on how to build a tiny house and Kyle pulled out his laptop, editing photos from a recent photoshoot that he had directed. Ethan sat on the opposite side of the couch and rested his chin on his hand. The look of (Y/N)’s face when she broke down was etched into his mind and broke his heart every time it replayed through his head. He wanted to make all of her sadness go away, he wanted that douchebag Zach to pay for the bullshit that he did to (Y/N) and he wanted to confess all of his true feelings that have been around for months to her.

“Ethan, stop daydreaming about (Y/N),” Grayson snickered.

“I’m not.” E grumbles and puts his head in his hands, tugging on his hair.

“You so are, you fuckin liar!” Grayson laughs.

“I am not! Now shut the hell up before your loud ass voice wakes her up.” Ethan gets up to pace around the living room, “Sorry, I’m just really pissed off right now. I don’t like seeing her hurt. It hurts me to see her like that.”

“It’s because Grayson’s right.” Kyle says looking up from his computer, “You’ve been in love with her for a while now.”

“How did you know?” E asks sitting back down on the couch.

“You look at her how dad looked at Ma.” Grayson responds looking straight at Ethan with intensity.

The room went quiet as Ethan thought over what his brother just said. The truth is, he’s known that he loves her for a while now. He just didn’t want to say anything about it because somehow, that made it more real. He’s scared of how he feels because he doesn’t want to get hurt, not that he thinks that she’d hurt him but the chance of it alone paralyzes him with fear. It’s scary how much she affects him, something that has become clearer and clearer as he’s seen her hurt in the past twenty-four hours. He can feel it consuming him and he’s absolutely terrified.

“I love you man,” Kyle says looking up at E, “and she could definitely do much worse than you, just don’t hurt her because I don’t think I can watch her go through anything like this again.”

“I could never hurt her, not even in my worst nightmare.”

They sit in silence again, no noise except for the T.V. quietly in the background and the sound of their own thoughts consumed the air. None of them really knew how much time had passed when (Y/N) walked into the living room, rubbing her eyes and plopping between Kyle and Grayson. She leaned her head over Kyle's shoulder and sighed as he looped his arm around her shoulders.

“How are you feeling, Simba?”

“I’m okay, getting kind of hungry though.” (Y/N) responds by moving to get up for food.

“Here I got you,” Gray says as he stands, “you stay here and relax.”

As Gray walks into the kitchen, E stands up and moves to sit by (Y/N), moving her legs into his lap and stroking the skin on her calf that’s not covered by his shorts that she was still wearing from last night. He can feel Kyle’s eyes burning into the side of his head as he gets consumed in his own thoughts again. He’s just a little overwhelmed. A little emotionally exhausted. But regardless, if he could, he would gladly absorb some of the pain that he knows for a fact she’s still feeling full force. He knows her, and he loves her. Even though he’s still scared, when he looks at her slumped on his couch against one of his best friends, he knows that she’s worth any risk of getting hurt. If someone had told him a year and a half ago that the feisty girl getting out of the car to help film was going to mean so much to him, he would have thought they were crazy. But now he’s just sitting there with overflowing amounts of love for her.

He looks up at her and finds her eyes locked back on him. In response, he gave her a little half smile and a reassuring squeeze on the leg that was still resting on his lap.

“Hey guys, dinner’s ready!” they hear Grayson hollar from inside the kitchen.

With that, the three of them get up and go to meet Ethan’s twin in the kitchen to sit down for somewhat of a family dinner.

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Hi guys! That was chapter 2, hope you guys enjoyed it. @fxkthatdairy and I worked really hard on it and I'm excited to see what you guys think ❤️

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@graydolan12

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#kyle houck #ethan dolan #ethan dolan fluff #lam!ethan #ethan x reader #grayson dolan #dolan twins #dolan twins angst #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan series #my writing

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