This season has brought me a sense of loneliness I've never had before. The days grow shorter, the heart grows fonder. What haunts me most is the idea that I will never return to the younger versions of myself again. When was the last time I trick-or-treated? When was the last time I saw all of my friends in the same room? Will anything ever feel the same? No, no it will not. Autumn is my favorite time of year: the season of brilliant, defiant beauty in the face of decay.

Mininalists and maximalists alike care deeply for their material possessions. Not only for their number of them, but their condition. We grieve annotated books and lay to rest rings with scratches. What do they change? The appearance? The aesthetic? Rich and poor alike see material objects as something to be kept in good condition, but beyond protecting functionality, is instinct. Like we would with a child with a scrape or a dog with a limp we see what we cherish as it once was not. As if it truly broke. But what is "broken"? The word "damage" has a negative valence, but what of a stuffed animal loved to shreds? But what of a cherished pair of shoes with frayed aglets and faded color? We say change is loss, but what do we lose? A sense of novelty. A mint condition; the facade of an untouched object, an untouched life. Something loved is something worn. Does chipping a bowl change it's shape? Does a small tear change a book's words? Immerse yourself in your belongings' aging. Like a cracked bowl repaired with gold to reveal a sprawling tree, let them age to show that you loved them. Let go the idea of pristine, unloved belongings. Forget the impermanence of possessions and appreciate the longevity of human compassion, where we love until death do us part.

ouuuughhh local insomniac makes day shift individual angry by being alive and breathing and moving in my house ouuuughhhh empathy is hard aawwwaaaaoaoiuucucuccvhgh

i'll be okay when my vision leaves, being an insomniac has taught me that life goes on when things that are symptomatic of life can be taken away without being lifeless

having an outdated instinct on stimming sucks so bad bc the shame and dislike jumps the gun but envy remains !!! like i hear someone repeating a word and it scares me and i go "grr why do that it scared me" but no pleas..... u also have echolalia its okay man.... settle settle its fine.....,, i weep w joy when i see people stimming but Sometimes only After i stop to consider that they have a right to n that it makes them happy and feel safer, calmer, more present, etc. and that's coming from grade school in the thousands. all the social rejection growing up fs makes it Hard to express yourself gee don't it fellas !!

tl;dr: think with your heart and let your mind skip happily behind, no matter your age class or creed n you'll be okay <3<3