#jackedhands
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Hornigold’s Boys:
#Hornigold era#izzy hands#ed teach#calico jack#jackedhands#IS THAG THE SHIP??#ofmd#benjamin hornigold
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Everyone please behold this gorgeous and achingly intimate young Jackedhands art I commissioned from adhdedteach on twitter 💜💜💜
#our flag means death#ofmd#edward teach#izzy hands#calico jack#jackedhands#jack rackham#art#blackhands
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jack with edizzy core
your honor for the record that’s not what i think ed’s wedding dress would look like and in my heart jack would show up in a pant suit no shirt no bra just a single button keeping the blazer closed and a dream
#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#edward teach#jack rackham#calico jack#edizzy#cjizzy#jackedhands#is that their ship name?#ofmd genderbent au#genderbend#rule 63#ofmd lesbian au
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What your favorite Izzy ship says about you
Blackhands
Your parents were your only model for what a relationship should look like and you never really got over it when they got divorced
Gentlehands
You're capable of basic media literacy and you can pick up on obvious sexual tension
Steddyhands
You're basic (not that there's anything wrong with that)
Cjizzy
You're not gay as in happy, you're Queer as in fuck you (also you're into some really nasty shit)
Jackedhands
You didn't get to attend any frat parties in college and you don't really regret it but you are curious what they would have been like
Stackedhands
You just really hate making choices
Ouizzy
You've seen those posts about introverts being "adopted" by extroverts and you're still waiting for that to happen to you
Rizzy
You're fascinated by the dialectics of violence and tenderness and the homoerotic undertones of both and also you're really into those posts about soup
Sprizzy
You use the word 'twink' as a synonym for 'gay'
Butthands
You're neurodivergent and extremely sexy
Bellhands
You're so picky when it comes to potential partners that you've decided to give up entirely in favor of an idealized fictional boyfriend
#our flag means death#ofmd#izzy hands#blackhands#stizzy#gentlehands#steddyhands#cjizzy#jackedhands#stackedhands#ouizzy#rizzy#sprizzy#butthands#bellhands#shitpost
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#yeah this is for me.#blackbeard#izzy hands#calico jack#jackedhands#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd s2#andithil edits
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Pucker up our passion's spent
//Every Me and Every You//Placebo//
#Edward Teach#Calico Jack#our flag means death#ofmd#edward teach/Calico Jack#Jackedhands#Jacked#our flag means death edit#ofmdedit#omfd edit#calico jack edit#edward teach edit#izzy hands edit#Izzy Hands#Israel Hands#Blackbeard#darkcausticedit#CJizzy
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modern au where ed + jack have spent the last several decades buying izzy the absolute DUMBEST shirts for every occasion- its a competition between them at this point- whoever gets izzy the shirt that makes him groan louder wins. izzy complains about this ridiculous tradition but he secretly loves it, has kept every single shirt, and often even sleeps in them (he will kill anyone who ever finds out)
#i got an ad for one of those super specific shirts and it made me think of this#im just shitposting at this point but its real funny to me#ed tend to favour ultra specific shirts these days while jack tries to find ones with completely absurd or dirty things on them#they know izzy has kept them all (tucked at the back of his closet) because they literally wont let him throw them away but they have no#idea he actually wears them#one of them is gonna find out one day and its gonna be a whole Thing#(im not a writer though so just imagine that scenario for yourself)#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#Israel hands#calico jack#jack rackham#edward teach#jackedhands#i left it vague but my ideal end to this is some kind of relationship kfhejn#uh. i actually have a couple images so i might rb + add to this in a sec. tags will be included. u know the drill
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Ed and Izzy have that thing where they fuck the same woman to fuck each other by proxy without having to admit it but the woman is Calico Jack
#my jack hc is true switch#but he gets grumbly about always being the spitroastee#blackhands#jackedhands#scenarios on the brain
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pirate polycule, more like mate-to-lots
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OFMD Darkcember 2023: 1/7
Fucked up sleeping situations + Tally marks
See uncensored version on mastodon
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My Darkcember thread on mastodon
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@batsarebetterthanpeople hello im now obsessed w the blackhands divorce proceedings. no idea what your plan is for ur comic but in my mind stede is ed's lawyer and ed picked him bc he's been staring at stede's billboard ad every day on his way to work for like three years and he has a crush on him. stede is a personal injury lawyer but ed shows up at his firm dressed as slutty as possible and stede is just like "YES i'll be your lawyer!" and then gives all his cases to lucius to focus solely on the blackhands divorce and he doesnt sleep for a month bc he has to learn how divorce law works
and calico jack is ed's old friend and during the blackhands marriage era he'd roll into town every now and then and ed would cheat on izzy. izzy never had proof but like, he knows and jack is knows he knows but he always plays dumb when izzy confronts him. jack is also a lawyer but he's been temporarily suspended from practicing law so many times he's lost count. his most recent suspension JUST ended right when ed hired stede, so jack goes to izzy and offers to be his lawyer and izzy is like "absolutely the fuck not" but then every lawyer izzy goes to drops him after spending like, ten minutes in izzy's presence, and eventually word gets around and nobody will even meet with izzy. and THEN izzy only lets jack be his lawyer because he has literally no other choice
all four of them have toxic cringefail sex with each other at least once. it is the world's messiest divorce and it drags on for at least a full year
#txt#og#mine#ofmd#blackhands#gentlebeard#jackbeard#gentlejack#gentlejacked#stizzy#steddyhands#cjizzy#gentlejackhands#gentlejackedhands#jackedhands#divorce au#what is the ship name for all 4 of them please#also i feel like someone mustve come up with this au before like it's so perfect
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Too Many Eds
Author: thegayafrienda
Artist: sweetpotato_70
Art Masterpost
Beta readers: MarcoInarossManBun, lovedhands, my husband who shall remain unnamed
Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Calico Jack Rackham, Izzy Hands, Buttons, Karl, Benjamin Hornigold
Relationship(s): Jack/Ed/Ed, Jack/Ed, Ed/Izzy, Jack/Izzy, Ed/Hornigold, Izzy/Hornigold (mentioned), Jack/Ed/Izzy/Stede (future/implied)
Rating: Explicit
Additional Tags: Transfeminine Blackbeard | Edward Teach, selfcest, threesome, murder, blood, magic, gender dysphoria
Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Main character death, Underage (referenced as having happened in the past)
Summary:
A young Jack Rackham finds a pair of fangs in a dead man's skull on a raid. When he decides to take them, a magical chain of events is unleashed that will leave Jack, his boyfriend Ed, and their ship's tantalizing first mate Izzy changed forever.
Featuring: A Jack/Ed/Ed threesome! Transfemme Ed! Magical Buttons! And so much more blood
Wordcount: 12,990
Too Many Eds by thegayafrienda
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Rewatching 2x03 and noticed there are two pigs with Hornigold - Ruthie the light brown one, and an unnamed black one seen in the pen with her for a second. Ruthie is Jack and the black one is Izzy, Jackedhands on Hornigold's ship of horrors confirmed.
#look until they explicitly tell us izzy wasn't there i will believe#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd#benjamin hornigold#jackedhands#edward teach#izzy hands#calico jack
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sooo in the mood to sexualise disability today and DYING over ed who. REGULARLY employs jack to fuck izzy - ed likes to get fucked, but he likes izzy to be HUMILIATED, to be DESTROYED, and he's perfectly happy to employ jack as his fucking mobility aid in this case
growling at jack to go faster, harder, no, shove his head down, fuck him like you mean it, you dick, the fuck am i getting you to do this for if you can't even fuck him right? *yeah*, yeah, jack, like that, feed it to him, you hear that squeaking noise? that means he'll cry soon
izzy whimpering into the mattress, a bunch of pillows shoved under his hips so that jack can keep driving into him while he's on his feet, really plunge the length of his fucking horsecock into him
and jack is. very into the objectification - just as izzy's into the degradation
"spit in his hole. fucking finger it, jack, fuck's sake, do i have to get up and do it? you can't fuck his cunt and finger his ass at the same time, what else is the point of you?"
and jack is so desperate to obey he just shoves three in at once and izzy howls
ed, for all he's talking fast, has no sense of urgency for this AT ALL. the room smells of sex and sweat, the wet messy sounds of izzy's dripping cunt and jack's balls slapping against his cock, his hips connecting with izzy's cheeks, loud enough that ed has to raise his voice
but ed is lounging back and slowly, almost idly stroking his cock, his bad leg elevated with a hot water bottle underneath it to try to eke the fucking chill out of it that's digging into his bones, although the frenetic motion of the other two dickfucks is helping warm the room
izzy when he starts begging doesn't even seem to remember that jack's there. the only name on his lips is ed's - in place of Jack's, in place of God's, even
and isn't that how it fucking should be?
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If I started writing izzy fanfics would yall read em? I've been thinking about royalty au jackedhands where ed and Jack are spoiled princes and izzy is eds bodyguard knight guy (all happy endings with a smattering of hurt comfort)
Ps drop any and all requests in the comments (sfw pls I am a minor)
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a piece I commissioned from benni (on Ao3) (@bennidraws on twitter)
really wanted something to represent that "seeing someone across the dog park who you kind of envy but not really" feeling
that "you couldn't pay me enough to have three weed smoking girlfriends" feeling
that "chain keep us together" feeling
I think it comes across!
#ofmd#blackbonnet#blackhands#jackedhands#gentlejizzed#fanart#commission#calico jack#i can only imagine mary bonnet seeing this somehow#and just being like#yeah bullet dodged
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