hii yall im currently having a tf2 fixation soo, can i please request platonic friendship hcs for medic and scout? ty hope you guys are having a good day 🩵
oooo, cute, first platonic req :) — mod engie
READER & MEDIC + SCOUT (SEPARATE)
MEDIC
you are forcibly his new rambling partner, i think he calls you to the infirmary, not because youre in trouble or sick (which is what other believe) but because he just wants to talk about a new discovery he's had
he usually tell the engineer about his fun little discoveries, but when he does he has to be professional about it (mostly). with you, he doesn't need to be! he can tell you how it is: usually completely deranged.
if you meet outside the base, god bless your heart. he will sneak you onto 2fort don't doubt him. you will somehow find yourself in that infirmary in one way or another. trust me you will
he also isn't shy to invite you in when the mercs are under. and by under i mean they passed out from the pain of being operated on! he will be half an arm into heavy's chest while talking to you about his day, peak professionalism right there folks.
because he enjoys your company i think you would also have to be friends with heavy, the two are attached at the hip (and lets be real, gay) so if you get to know him, you automatically get to know heavy.
which is great! because now you get to get out with them as well, how fun! ignoring how they're banned from most public places for various reasons. most of which being medics fault (and one of which being: THE DEVILS FAULT). who would've guessed a crazy mad scientist would be banned from most public spaces.
basically, if you cant ride or die with this man, good luck, because my god you might just die instead.
SCOUT
YOU ARE GOING EVERYWHERE WITH HIM
even the gas station. you are going as emotional support. you don't get a choice in the matter you are going with him everywhere.
at this point you might as well be surgically attached at the hip given you’re never seen without you other half
not that he’s unbearably clingy (he is) but also because in a mercenary group, a guy doesn’t have that many friends.
pros though! you have a new bodyguard, he would stick up for you on any occasion! even if he is lacking in the muscle department, he’s got the voice and speed to back it up.
also rambling partner, you guys stay up late talking to eachother loudly till someone complains and tells you to shut up and go to bed. its a daily occurrence of getting wayyyy too into the topic and beginning to get a little too loud. usually spy or medic coming in, terribly tired just trying to get some rest
you have to keep him in line with pauling. like really need to tell him what’s up. because literally otherwise he cannot get his shit together. it’s only a little pathetic to watch.
if your afab he is the type of guy to run to a store to get you pads but he is ALSO the guy to get lost in said aisle and you end up having to send someone else to find him. (ALSO THE IMAGE OF ‘what pussy size’ IS GENERALLY HIM FR — MOD MEDIC)
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In defence of Spy
In the Tf2 fandom there is a good chunk of hate and haters out there for the Spy. Now most of it I understand and agree with. He left Scout and his ma when Scout was a baby, he is arguably a bit of a womanizer, he is French, and other things I can’t think of off the top of my head. None of those are the thing I’m going to be defending. Someone has probably made this point before, but I’m going to be defending Spy’s choice to do this in the comics.
(Sorry the pic is low quality idk why it is)
(my defence of spy is under the cut)
I’m defending the fact that Spy disguised himself as Tom Jones when Scout was dying. The people I have talked to irl about this part in the comics always hate on Spy and get mad at him for still not owning up to the fact that he is Scout’s father. I however- probably against my better judgement given Spy’s character- give him the benefit of the doubt here. And perhaps this was actually Spy’s last act of kindness to his dying son.
Spy does in fact go to Scout with the intention of finally telling him that he is in fact his biological father, but Spy stops. He turns around only to come back as Tom Jones. Tom Jones is Scout’s hero. Spy knows this. Spy also probably knows that if he were to tell Scout that he was his father the whole time, that Scout might be at least a little bit angry. And who could blame him?
Spy chose to deliberately make himself look like the man who Scout idolized- I believe not just for self preservation- but also to let his son’s dying moments be his son’s hero telling him that he is proud of him. Therefore letting him die in some peace.
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DOMINATION LINES!!
THANK YOU @caramelcheesegay FOR COMING UP WITH 90% OF THESE, ILY<333
DOMINATED:
Scout:
-“Can’t stun me if you can’t hit me! I’m a freakin’ blur, dipshit!”
-“I am ALWAYS gonna dodge that. When will you LEARN, man?”
-“Oh, oh, oh! I’m STUNNED at how bad you’re doin’!”
Soldier:
-“Don’t swing your puny stick at me, maggot! You come from fake America!!!”
-“I AM IMPERVIOUS TO ALL OF YOUR ATTACKS, SYRUP-SLURPER!”
-“Get off the battlefield and go play some hockey, weakling!”
Demo:
-“Aye, I bet you thought it’d be easy ta kill me, didn’t’che? Well, iaarrghhnnn *snore*.”
-“You call tha’ a grenade?? Me blind Mum farts worse than that wee thing!”
-“Don’ come a’ me in those ghoulish boots lad, I’ll blast ‘em right offa yer feet!”
Engie:
-“You’re just a little piece a’ sentry fodder now, aren’t’cha?”
-“You make for some real shitty target practice, son.”
-“Tell me ‘bout those stun grenades sometime, yeah?”
Heavy:
-“Ha! Leetle bug man is crushed. Like bug. Leetle bug. Feed you to Archimedes, Buggy.”
-“Small jumpy man- not Scout? There are two small jumpy men???”
-“You think loud noise and bright light are enough to take down Heavy??? I am killing you now!!”
Medic:
-“Oohoo! Free organs! Young, too!”
-“Ach, that reminds me- I need to feed my birds.”
-“Ohhh, sorry little boy! Go play with your crayons, ja?”
Sniper:
-“Piss off, y’ jumpy git. Bloody grasshopper…”
-“Awh, get quicker next time, won’tcha?”
-“Dead like a ‘roo on the side o’ the road!”
Spy:
-“For someone named ‘The Rogue’, you are certainly a pack thinker.”
-“Oho! I am *stunned* by your lack of skill!”
-“Not so *Dexx*trous now, hm?”
DOMINATING:
Scout:
-“No runnin’ in the halls, freshman!”
-“Bonk? More like thonk, eh? ‘Cause that’s the sound your hollow head makes when I hit ya!”
-“Hah! Too slow!”
Soldier:
-“Y'know, a 3" piece of rubber can do a lotta damage, Trench Monkey!”
-“Hah! Oh, I mean- I'm sooo soooorey aboot tha', Bud! (snicker)”
-“A cat on a sloped roof is braver than the entire U.S. Military, Booklicker!”
Pyro:
-“Ack! Sorry, Firecracker!”
-“Oh shit, I think I’m still on fire. Damn it, these were my favorite pants!”
-“Hey we're, uh, still on for s'mores later... right?”
Demo:
-“Pen's mightier than the sword, cyclops! Get it? 'Cause I'm an artist and you- yeah, nevermind”
-“Someone must have put a little sleepy sauce in your mickeys, bud, ‘cause you are NOT on top of it today!”
-“Smile and wait for the flash!”
Heavy:
-“Somebody order ten thousand pounds a’ dead weight? (Snort)”
-“It’s really hard to miss your pressure points, y’know.”
-“Move it, ya big lug! You’re in the way!”
Engineer:
-“GRENAAAAAADE! I WIN! Ya proud of me, da-uhhh.. dude?”
-“See ya round, Daaaeengie! I said Engie. Short for Engineer. That is you. You are- I’ll go.”
-“Bam! And another one down, and another one down! ANOTHER ONE BITES THE BO STAFF!!”
Medic:
-“oohohoh, Maybe I can try some experiments on you this time!- Y'know, put your lessons to good use!”
-“Doc, you seriously gotta take care of your health. Damn hypocrite... (Mocking voice) 'Do az I say, not az I do!' my ass!”
-“Guess that's what happens when you don't follow your own advice, thanks for the hands-on lesson!”
Sniper:
-“There, away from the noise now! Just how you like it, Dee!”
-“You may wink at your opponents, but ya gotta take the shot as well, y'know! Can't charm 'em to death!”
-“I just... un-cozied your... camper. I'm having a bad day please be nice.”
Spy:
-“Crisse de connard! -Aheh, not used to gettin' berated in your own language, eh?”
-“Va te faire foutre, merde de con!”
-“Bein Tabarnak, it feels good to turn the tables! Hah, deserved!”
Taunt ideas:
-Using the Bo-Staff as a microphone
-Using the bo-staff as a rifle(making fun of sniper)
-Juggling the stun grenades, almost dropping one and catching it in time before glancing around to see if anyone saw him and putting them away again
OCS:
DOMINATED:
Strat (@emotionally-stressed-strategist):
-“How are you this bad? I’m dominating you with a PEN, Rogue, A PEN.”
-“Rock, skull. Man down.”
-“One less dot on the map- don’t come back, yeah?”
Arrow (@emotionally-dead-archer):
-"Hah! Gotcha! Oh, gotta love a little sibling rivalry, am I right?"
-“Bigger sibling? Not really.”
-“Hey! My aim is getting better! Thanks for the target practice!”
DOMINATING:
Strat:
-“I’m done bein’ your wingman if you keep this up.”
-“That’s what happens when you steal my art supplies!”
-“How do you still not have ink poisoning? Dude, seriously.”
Arrow:
-“There! I make for a pretty good role model! You get to see my stuff first-hand!”
-“You're adopted. Sorry.”
-“I think it's almost bedtime, kiddo.”
Jet (@emotionally-broken-robot):
-"Hey, uh, does this count as Softwaregore?"
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